Unfading Outtakes
by awalkerlifeforme
Summary: Edited chapters with explicit content between Eric and Alex (OC) from my Divergent story, Unfading.
1. Chapter 1

We were in the middle of the last training day of Phase One and I was more thankful than I had ever been. I was exhausted from all of the constant workouts and pressure. I sat comfortably with the sixth training spot but I was fighting to stay there. I knew that, until Phase Two started, I would be stuck in sixth. I couldn't stay there. I needed to be in either the first or second spot for leader training. But Hunter had stolen that from me. I gave a quick glance up to the clock and shook my head. Twenty minutes left. After they were over, we could leave and do whatever we wanted for the rest of the day. Tomorrow was our first official day off considering it was the short break we got in between Stage One and Stage Two of training.

As I glanced over at the ranking board I growled in fury. So many of those rankings were unfair. I was sparring with Dante currently and ducked out of the way at the last second to avoid a kick to the head. As he recovered I sent an identical kick to him. He didn't have time to move. My boot connected with his face and he stumbled back. For a moment I felt bad, but he merely grinned and advanced on me again. I knew that he was impressed. But I was just using my anger to drive me forward. I was still seething over Hunter. It had been nearly two weeks since he had almost killed me but I was still just as angry.

Max had decided that since Hunter's attack had been during a training exercise it would be improper to kick him out of Dauntless. On the bright side, Four had looked about ready to explode when he had told us his plan. He was clearly rooting for Hunter to be kicked out of Dauntless. But, unfortunately, even though Max had been able to see our points he was not going to see Hunter out of Dauntless. He was not going to lose the possibility of a good soldier.

The only punishment that he had received was solitary confinement and a ranking drop. Solitary meant that he could no longer sleep in the same dorm as me. I wasn't quite sure where they actually had him sleeping now. He still attended meals with us and trained with us but I never saw him at night. Not that it bothered me. I never wanted to see him again. He had also been dropped to the lowest ranking. Twenty eighth.

Unfortunately, Hunter was a natural born Dauntless and he had two weeks to improve his ranking. He had raised his ranking quicker than I thought was possible. He was currently ranked twenty-first. Safe from Factionless life. He was one spot above the red line. He probably deserved to be higher but I was sure that Eric and Four refused to raise him anymore.

To my absolute pleasure, Eric had also dropped Colt and Jade's rankings. Colt was currently in the eighteenth spot and Jade was in the nineteenth. They would be safe but they were in for some terrible lives if they couldn't raise their rankings. Both had looked horrified at their ranking, but neither had argued. They were smart enough to know that they were on thin ice. Even now, I'd never heard them say a word. But I didn't miss the nasty glares they sent my way every day.

But they weren't people that I liked to think about. Most of the time I tried to forget that they were even with me in Dauntless. Instead I tried to think about the other rankings. Aaron and Jackson were still the top two ranked initiates. Draven had recently taken over my spot in third. If someone else had to be in that ranking I was glad that it was him. Michael, a Dauntless born boy, was in fourth. He was followed by Jax, myself, and Dante. Greg, another Dauntless born boy, was in eighth and Buck was in ninth. Lisa and Sara were in tenth and eleventh followed by Jet and Colt. Serena was in fourteenth and Heather was in fifteenth. Much to my pleasure, she was safe.

Five Dauntless born would be leaving us in the morning. So would Raven and Skylar. They were the transfers that would be leaving. I felt for the girls but I was proud of them. They were being strong. I could tell that Jet was hurting over losing Raven, but I had assured him that she wouldn't be out there alone. She would have Skylar. And Abnegation would take care of them. And, no matter what, Raven would never forget about him.

Startling me from my thoughts, I ducked out of the way, just barely missing a blow to my head from Dante. His foot thumped loudly on the ground and I grimaced. That would have hurt. He tried to stop to check if I was alright but I merely advanced on him, throwing my fist out, just barely scraping his arm. I wound backwards and slid across the floor, leaning up onto my arms and pushing my feet upwards, jamming them into Dante's chest. It sent him flying backwards.

It was much harder than I should have kicked him. I felt a little bad as I walked over to help him back up. I was shaking with nerves from everything that had happened the past few days. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed that Eric was watching me closely, but I brushed it off. I had better things to be worrying about. Last week I had overheard a conversation between Jeanine Matthews and Max, while Jeanine was visiting Dauntless. I already had a lingering feeling that she knew what I was trying to hide ever since the Amity trip. But I had been able to brush it off. That was, until I heard the conversation between the two leaders.

One Week Prior...

The halls back in the administrative part of Dauntless were dark and strange. They seemed so lifeless compared to the rest of the compound. And I found myself a little jumpy as I walked through the halls. Or maybe that was just because of the strange conversation that I had just had with Eric. He had been acting rather odd lately. He wasn't nicer to me in the slightest, if nothing else, he was actually cruder. He snapped at me nearly all the time and tripped me deliberately when we were sparring.

Although I had noticed that I was the only initiate that he would spar with. He probably just thought that it was funny to hit me. And more than once during our fights I had noticed him getting a little more hands-on. He would touch lower and wouldn't hesitate to put his hands where they didn't belong. It drove me nuts that I had no idea what had been said between Eric and my parents. He acted so smug and it made me nervous that he had said something that he shouldn't have.

I was walking to Four's office. Stupid me should have bothered asking him where the damn office was before brushing him off and leaving the training room. I needed a few papers for my extended trip to Erudite when my mother was ready to give birth. Although I was glad that it was Four I needed to go to and not Eric. I was making a point to avoid being alone in a room with Eric these days.

"You know what this means, Max," a cold voice called. I froze in my steps. I knew that voice. "They are dangerous. They pose a threat to the Faction system. They pose a threat to everything that we work so hard to maintain. They have to be destroyed. All of them," Jeanine Matthews spoke.

To her credit, Jeanine never yelled or snapped. Her voice was calm with the same lilt that it always carried. I supposed that it was something that came from being Erudite. I heard a man inside of the office sigh. I knew that I was in front of Max's office. I had been here last week. But the door was closed today. Still, these doors weren't soundproof.

"Jeanine, I understand what you're saying. But this is ridiculous. You're proposing a war against these people," Max said. A war? What were we going to war for? "They've hidden in the Factions well. Let them continue doing so."

My blood ran cold at his words. "You've seen it, Max. They're getting bold. They're working with the Factionless! They attacked Erudite. They attacked Amity. They were looking for files. I assume that you know what they were looking for by now," Jeanine added.

I waited with baited breath outside the door. No one was speaking. "Files. As you said, "Max said, a teasing note in his voice.

"They were looking for files that might tell us more about them. More about who they are," Jeanine added.

"You know that the only time we can catch them is during the Aptitude Test," Max argued.

Bile rose in my throat. I knew that they were talking about Divergent's. That had been when Tori had discovered me. But she had covered for me. "Is that so?" Jeanine asked.

"Yes. They're hard to find."

"They are not that hard to find."

A terrible feeling in my stomach told me that she was talking about me. "And if we miss them in the Aptitude Test, well, Dauntless always reveals them," Max told her.

I had gone as white as a sheet. What did he mean by that? Was he just trying to reassure her of something or was there something that Dauntless could do about them? I could hear Jeanine scoff in the room. My heart was thumping in my chest as I pressed myself back against the wall.

"They are not caught in the Aptitude Test. They slip by it all the time," she told him calmly.

Me. I had done it. Or at least, I had. Until the attack on Amity. "They can't keep their secrets forever. They'll slip up," Max told her.

"When was the last time that someone was actually revealed during the Aptitude Test? Years ago. Eight, I believe," Jeanine said.

That was a relief. Eight years ago was a long time. People had been slipping by for years. There must have been more people like Tori that wanted to protect people like me. "There will always be people trying to protect them. Divergent's are rare. There probably aren't even that many," Max tried to tell her.

"Don't be a fool. There are more than that. People are helping them slip by. They are just as dangerous," Jeanine argued.

 _Tori._ I had come to really like the older woman. I didn't want to see anything happen to her. Not because of me. Even through his sigh, I could hear the exasperation in Max's voice. This clearly wasn't the first time that he had had this chat with Jeanine. It made me sick to think about everything that they had been talking about for what seemed to be months.

"What do you suggest we do, Jeanine? I will not be causing a panic in my Faction. Eric, the rest of the leader's, we all know how dangerous these people are," Max said.

My body gave a little jolt when I heard Eric's name. He knew how dangerous people like me were. But would he give me up? Would he kill me? Of course. That was what he believed in and I was still just his initiate. "It's not causing a panic. We can do this all quietly," Jeanine tried to tell him.

"But you forget. They are afraid. They will not be stepping out of the shadows. Not while the threat of their lives are hanging over their heads," Max told her.

"If they believe that they have the power, they will step out of the shadows," Jeanine said.

"You say they aren't stupid. They aren't. They know to stay hidden. The Factionless are the real problem here," Max tried to reason.

Without seeing Jeanine, I still knew that she was wearing her typical tight-lipped smile. "I have a plan. The plans are laid back in Erudite. There's a whole file on them. Just sitting there," she said.

It was very hard for me not to sprint towards the trains at that very moment. But there were things that I needed to do before I went. Still, I immediately knew what I needed to do. I needed to get into Erudite without being spotted and get my hands on that file. I needed to know what she was planning.

"It's laid out, ready to be executed. But I need Dauntless. I need you to be on my side. Just have a look at the plans. Then tell me that you aren't for it," Jeanine purred softly.

This was already done. They were already ready for the plan to be enacted. All she needed was more people. Dauntless. The room was silent and I prayed that Max would tell her no. "After Phase One of initiation ends," Max finally told her.

 _No_. That gave me only a week to see that file before it was removed from Erudite and hidden somewhere here in Dauntless. "We can wait a week," Jeanine confirmed.

"People are watching too closely right now. If we want this done, it has to be done correctly. Keep the file. We'll look at it soon," he told her.

"I'm glad you're seeing things my way, Max," Jeanine told him. I could hear the smile in her voice. It sent chills down my spine. "Don't worry, this war will be fought in the shadows. These people, they will die in the shadows."

A lump formed in my throat. We would die and be erased from history. She wanted to keep Divergence as low profile as possible. "That's all that I ask for," Max told her.

"I only need one. Maybe the Amity girl," Jeanine said. My blood froze. Not me. What the hell did she want me for? This was not what I signed up for. "She's one. I know she is. That's the only reason they would have been in her home. So we befriend her for now. Keep a close eye on her. She'll be one to watch."

Her voice carried a little twinkle, like she was talking about a little prank, not genocide. "Eric is close with her. We have an eye on her already," Max confirmed.

My legs gave a little quiver. They were going to use Eric to get to me. "Does Eric care for her?" Jeanine asked.

"I'm not entirely sure. I think that he does, but Eric is a hard man to read," Max said. "He knows what his duties are here. He knows what is important for his position here."

"It matters not. The Divergent's. They will be nothing more than a memory. They have to die. All of them," Jeanine said, her voice losing the sweet edge.

There was something razor-sharp in the way that she was speaking. Almost like she wasn't just determined, but that she was genuinely furious with me. What had I done to make her hate me so much? I was horrified. They were going to kill everyone like me, and probably do something worse to me. Torture? Probably. So I did the only thing I could think of. I turned and ran from the halls, completely forgetting about my paperwork.

Current Day

My mind raced as I thought about the conversation I had overheard. I had gone to planning the moment that I had gotten away from Max's office. I had swiped the train schedule from Sarah's office one day when I knew that Eric was keeping her away from work. I had to do everything possible to save my own life. And it started with a trip to Erudite today. I had a whole plan that had started with remembering the train schedule.

Heather already knew to keep everyone away from me and from asking about tonight. She didn't know what I was doing, I had just told her that it was an emergency. There was an Erudite train leaving three minutes after training ended today. I would have to sprint there if I wanted to make it on time. It was the only time that I could get out to Erudite. I had to get that file. I had to know what Jeanine was planning for the Divergent's. For my people. It felt like I was the one starting the war.

All I knew was that I had to get that file. The next train that would be going to Erudite wouldn't leave for another two weeks, and by that time, the file would be here in Dauntless. And it would be near impossible for me to get to it here. As I was running through my plan one more time, Dante's foot came up and connected with my temple. I grunted in pain and fell to the ground. I had stopped moving when I had thought about the train schedule. I had seen the kick coming, but I was still startled.

"Oh! Alex! I'm sorry," Dante yelped.

He ran over to me and offered a hand up. I shrugged him off. I had been an easy hit for me to block but I wasn't in the zone right now. My mind was on another planet. "Oh, it's good Dante. I just got a little distracted. Off in my own little world. I'm good though, seriously," I told him.

He still seemed a little concerned. Of course he was. He always kicked me and I always moved. Not today. Today was different. "Are you sure that you're okay?" Dante asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Nice kick. That hurt," I told him with a laugh.

It really had hurt. Dante smiled bashfully and I waved him off. As I looked around the room, I noticed that Eric was no longer here. That would make it easier for me to leave. But why had he left? He loved to watch us and yell that we were doing things wrong. I glanced up at the clock and noticed that we had reached the end of training. One minute left. I was itching to leave.

"Alex, watch out! Pay attention," Four yelled at me from the corner of the room.

I rolled my eyes at him but nodded anyways. "Yeah, I will. Sorry, I got distracted," I called back.

He merely nodded at me and turned back to correct Heather's stance. I had better things to be thinking about than moving out of the way during a sparring match. Like stopping a war. Once more I sighed. This was not what I signed up for when I came to Dauntless. I didn't sign up for Divergence, a war, Eric, Hunter, Jade, or Colt. I didn't want any of it. But I was here and I had to handle it. Dauntless were the protectors. Of everyone.

"Congratulations to everyone. Phase One is over. The official ceremony will be tomorrow. Celebrate. Say goodbye. You've earned tomorrow off. Get out of here. Enjoy your afternoons and your nights. Only three months left. They'll go fast. I promise," Four told us.

Everyone nodded as the cheers began to erupt. Most people were cheering, but not me. And neither was Heather. We both darted over to each other, hiding near the doors of the training room. I didn't want any of our friends coming over to us before I could leave. They wouldn't let me go without questioning. That was the good thing about Heather. She did what I asked, even when it was insane. I did the same for her.

"You headed out now?" Heather asked me.

"Yeah," I said as she grabbed me for a quick hug.

As much as I loved her I was itching to leave. Time was not on my side. "Alright, I'll tell them all that you had to go do some paperwork for your trip to Erudite for the birth. Get out of here," Heather told me softly.

"Thanks, Heather," I said.

She really was my best friend. Iris would have raked me over the coals asking why I was going to the Erudite headquarters. "No problem," she responded.

"I promise one day I'll tell you what this is all about," I promised Heather.

She nodded once and said, "I'll told you to it."

The two of us gave each other another smile before I turned from her, making a quick walk towards the door while Heather called loudly to the boys, drawing all attention to herself. Once I had slipped quietly out of the doors, I took a few steps before speeding up into a dead sprint. Two minutes and counting until the train left. But it would take me longer than the normal thirty second sprint. I had learned the back halls so that I could avoid being spotted.

Faster than I thought was possible, I whipped through the halls. I was slowed down once and forced to turn back when I caught Max walking down the hall. I had been avoiding him at all costs since I had overheard his conversation with Jeanine. He wasn't working with her, but he was still dangerous. I had to get to the train. There would be a train coming through in three days, but it would be going to Candor. And I didn't know how far Erudite was from Candor.

Plus there was the fact that I wouldn't be able to slip away with training for Phase Two. This was the only day that I could slip away unnoticed. I ran out to the tracks and saw that the last two cars were currently pulling out of the station. Right on time. I went into a dead sprint and ran, catching the second to the last car. I barely caught the door and felt my arm stretch painfully before weakly and awkwardly pulling myself inside. I laid on the ground, panting. It had been close, but I had made it.

"How utterly unimpressive, initiate," a cool voice called to me.

 _Damn it_. I jumped into a standing position faster than I usually did and turned to face the worst person possible right now. Eric was sitting in the corner of the car with a curious grin on his face. The color immediately drained from my face. What was he doing here? And today, of all days.

"Eric," I greeted awkwardly.

"You look a little surprised to see me."

"I am."

Everything that I said was through a mumble. "But I think I should be the one a little surprised to see you. Do we need to go over the Dauntless rule book again?" Eric asked.

"No."

"I was certain that there was a rule that said that initiates could not leave the compound without a member to escort them?" Eric told me, despite the fact that it sounded like a question.

Of course he knew the rules damn well. He knew that I wasn't supposed to be here without a member. I began to panic. How could he have been here? Why today? I knew that I couldn't just beg for him to forget about this. Eric hated weakness. He liked people that could keep him on his toes. And that meant that I had to be clever here. Him being here could completely ruin my poorly thought out plan. I didn't even have a plan once I got on the train. This was as far as I had thought out. I just hadn't been expecting him to be here. I didn't even know the Erudite compound. But maybe Eric did. I could use him.

"Well then I'm not technically breaking the rules. You're a Dauntless member, aren't you?" I asked Eric.

It was very hard to try and keep the shaking out of my voice. He could kick me out of Dauntless for this. He merely smirked. Eric was sitting against the back wall of the train with one leg crossed over the other. Even sitting in his chair he seemed to tower over me. He just had that type of personality. I debated moving forward to him but I stayed where I was. I was glad that he didn't stand. It made it easier to try and figure a way to weasel out of this.

"So tell me, little Amity," Eric growled. I rolled my eyes. That had become his new favorite nickname for me. "What are you doing on your way to Erudite?"

"I -" I stumbled over my words, unable to find my words.

"A little early to see your dear little sister, isn't it?"

I felt so stupid for having not thought of a cover story in case someone caught me. That was the one thing that was just as important as me being able to get to Erudite. Good thing I didn't go to the intelligent Faction. I was a fucking moron. I stumbled over myself once more, no words coming out. I couldn't tell him why I was really here.

"No. My mother hasn't gone into labor yet. She's only a few months pregnant," I said.

"I know that."

 _Find an excuse, Alex_. "I'm coming because I need to fill out some paperwork of my own and give them some. I also need my mother's medical records," I lied, hoping that he would buy it.

Every inch of me hoped that he was going to believe my poorly thought out lie. But I knew that he wasn't. Eric was smarter than I liked to give him credit for. He stood from his spot on his chair and walked over to me. I sucked in a breath as he walked me back into the edge of the train car, the metal cold against my back. I was standing less than an inch from the opening and I tried to force it out of my mind. We were flying past the City and the ground was at least twenty feet below us. A fall from here would paralyze me if I was lucky. Or kill me if I wasn't. Nothing good would come from this.

"I think that you're lying to me," he told me lowly.

His hands flitted over my hips and I shook slightly. "I'm not," I whispered softly.

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

One hand tightened around my hip, his fingers hooking over the edge of my pants. I wanted him to punch me for my thoughts. I wanted him more than anything. "I don't believe you," he said.

Remembering myself, I slapped away his hands. "Don't touch me," I hissed.

But it didn't affect him. He was still touching me. "What are you really doing here?" Eric asked me.

 _Divert his attention. Make him think of anything other than the reason that you're here_. "I don't know what you mean," I chirped, wanting to slap myself. That was stupid. "I'm here and so are you. I'm not breaking any rules."

Instead of yelling at me like I had thought that he would, he merely smirked down at me. "Is that so?" Eric asked.

"Yes."

My voice was as light as I could make it. I nodded brightly at him. How was he always one step ahead of me? "How did you know that I was going to be here?" Eric asked.

"Saw your schedule."

"When?"

"I was in the records office and I saw Sarah's notebook laying open. You should probably remind her to do her job a little bit better," I said, trying to distract him.

His hands tightened over my hips once more. "And we're back to Sarah. Still jealous?" Eric asked.

"I've never been jealous!"

 _Yes, you are_. "And how did you get here on time? You must have sprinted here from training. Which meant that you already knew that the train was going to be here. And that means that you were planning this out ahead of time," he said, finding all of the flaws in my plan.

Why the hell couldn't he be a normal mindless soldier? "I just needed to get to Erudite and I saw that you would be here too," I said under my breath.

"What were you planning on doing in Erudite? And tell me the truth. Not some bullshit story about you being here for your mother's medical records," he snapped.

"That's why I'm here, Eric," I told him. I knew that he wouldn't believe me if I hesitated again. "Believe me or not. I don't care."

This was about more than our petty little arguments. This was about an impending war. One that very few people knew about. "I do not believe you," Eric said.

So I decided to try and change the direction of the conversation. "But I'm not breaking rules with you being here. No more than you've been breaking the rules recently," I told him.

His brows quirked, the silver rings in his eyebrows catching the light from the sun and glinting in my eyes. "Come again?" Eric asked.

One thing that I had noticed about Eric, in the five months that I had known him, was that he was incredibly well spoken. Better than most Erudite's even. I supposed it came with being a leader. Even when he was angry he always knew exactly what to say. He was always a mix between diplomatic and intimidating. Even with me. Especially with me. But I was not going to let him make me think that I was the only one breaking rules here.

"You heard me. You've been breaking the rules as much as I am, right now, by coming to Erudite," I snapped.

"Go on," he said.

"Coming after me like this. Touching me. Messing with me," I said. I could tell that he wasn't quite following what I was saying, so I took a deep breath, ready to finally tell him what was on my mind. After five months I needed him to know exactly how I felt. "You know the rules. No relations between Dauntless members and initiates." I thought about Damien but pushed him out of my mind. This was about Eric and me, not Damien and me. "But you don't seem to understand that."

As much as I liked him, I just wanted to know what he thought about me and what he wanted. Not just the mind games. "Then tell me, initiate. Tell me right now. Tell me to leave you alone and never speak to you again. If that's really what you want, I'll oblige. Just tell me that it's what you want," he ordered.

I froze in my spot. Not that I could have moved anywhere. He had me trapped. I knew what I should tell him. I should tell him to leave me alone. He was dangerous. But I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. I wouldn't want that. As much as Eric drove me nuts, he kept my life interesting. I would never want him to leave me alone.

"Nothing to say?" he asked. I remained silent. "I thought not. Because as much as you hate to admit it, you like me."

His voice was still teasing and it drove me nuts. "You think that I'm alone?" I asked loudly.

No more screwing with my head. He cocked an eyebrow and glared at me. "Watch your mouth," Eric snarled.

"Come on, Eric. You're good at the whole tough guy thing but I'm not as stupid as I look. You like me too," I called him out. He merely scoffed at me. I knew that he wanted me. I just wanted to hear him say it. He had said it once, but not since then. "Just admit it! Admit it, and I'm yours. Tonight."

My heart was beating out of my chest. I couldn't believe that I'd just told him that. "What?" he asked.

His eyes darkened at my offer and I knew that he wanted it too. "Tell me right now that you like me. That you want me. That you're sorry. Say my name. Anything, Eric! Just give me something. Tell me, and tonight, I'm yours," I told him.

For a moment I raised my hand to lay it on his chest but I backed out of it. My hand fell back down to my sides as I waited for him to say something. His hands almost fell off of my hips, but they didn't. Instead they wound their way to my back and underneath my shirt, pressing into the curve of my back. It pushed the two of us up against each other, no space in between the two of us. It seemed like an hour before he spoke up again.

"You aren't serious," he told me.

I shook my head. I was so serious about this it was almost funny. "I am. I'm done with these games," I told him.

There was a strange emotion that flitted through his eyes, but it was gone before I could tell what it was. All I wanted was for him to tell me the truth. With all of the bad in my life right now, I wanted something good. And Eric, even if just for a night, was going to be good. I already knew that.

"Just tell me the truth, Eric. For once in your life," I pleaded softly with him.

I hoped that he was going to say something soon. I didn't want to look like the fool here. He had made me look like a fool enough. He stood pressed against me for a moment before nodding. Was he really going to take me up on my offer? Even while I had said it, I hadn't thought that he would.

"If you're that serious, come to my apartment. Tonight. Ten," he told me.

I didn't bother to question it. I merely nodded at him. "Okay," I whispered

We were both done with this conversation for now. We would continue it tonight. We were both here for work. "We're here," Eric said, not looking away from my eyes.

Waiting a few beats, he still didn't look away from my eyes. I nodded at him but never bothered to look out of the compartment. I knew that Erudite was behind us but I couldn't bring myself to look away from Eric. He had that effect on me. Once I got close to him, I just found myself wanting to get closer. His cold gray eyes were boring into me and I found myself unsure of what to do. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but I knew that the timing was wrong. We would have all night to figure us out. We were still standing pressed together when another question popped into my mind.

"Eric?" I asked.

He was moving closer to me. His lips were inches from mine and our eyes were still connected. I wanted to kiss him more than anything but this wasn't the time or place. "It better be important," Eric growled making me laugh softly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

The strange emotion akin to vulnerability left his eyes and I saw the hard leader that had once tried to kill me. I already missed the Eric that had offered me to come back to his apartment tonight. It was strange to think just how different he could be in a matter of seconds. Maybe I'd see a softer side of him tonight.

"A meeting with Jeanine Matthews. She was unable to come to Dauntless," Eric answered me.

I tensed at his words. I had been hoping that Jeanine would be gone today, visiting one of the other Factions. "Gross," I muttered under my breath.

It wasn't quiet enough. Eric noticed my sudden movement. "Not a fan?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not at all," I said.

To my surprise, Eric laughed. "Me either."

That time I couldn't help but to smile. He backed away from me and motioned for me to get to the doors of the train. Not that it was a long walk. The train had slowed a little and I braced my knees as I made the short jump. I had landed a little forward and I tucked into a roll, standing back up immediately. Eric jumped right after me and I was not surprised to see that he had stuck the landing without having to roll. It made me want to punch him in his perfect teeth.

For the first time, my eyes dropped to his waist and I noticed that he was carrying a gun. It was easy to see that it was the same gun that he had used to kill James. The same gun that could kill me if he found out who I was. The same gun that would kill me if he found out who I was. I shook those thoughts off while I walked up with him to the entrance of the Erudite compound. His hands were on my back, gently pushing me forwards. I had passed it before, but had never been up this close.

The Erudite compound looked extremely strange. Candor was a typical skyscraper. Abnegation was a bunch of gray buildings. Simple, like them. Amity was an outdoor Faction with a huge oak tree in the center. And Dauntless was hidden down in one of the old buildings in the center of Chicago. But Erudite was odd. It was like a dome and the roof was entirely made of glass. The exterior was painted a pristine white. Eric led me up to the doors with one hand on my back. Even with just his hand touching me, I could tell that he was tense. He must not have liked Erudite.

We walked inside and I found myself surprised. It was not what I was expecting. There were bookshelves lining the entire compound. But no one stood near them. There were a few hallways that led into other parts of the Faction. Most people seemed to be milling at the tables near the bookshelves, all tapping furiously away on their tablets. Not one person was reading a book. And none of them looked happy. In the center of the room there was a receptionist desk with a huge portrait of Jeanine Matthews hung over it. I felt strange looking at it, like Jeanine was watching me. Like she knew that I was here. Why I was here. The words 'Knowledge leads to prosperity,' were engraved underneath her portrait.

Eric walked me over to the receptionist desk. It was an older woman sitting behind the desk. She looked up, seemingly unperturbed at Eric's presence. That shocked me. I would have thought that Eric would terrify her. But maybe he visited here a lot. On all of those days that Eric wasn't at training he must have been here. It would make sense. He seemed to know the compound well enough. She gave me a questioning glance, but one quick glare from Eric made her turn her attention back to him.

"Here for your meeting with Jeanine?" she asked.

"Yes," Eric said, nodding stiffly.

The woman's voice was boring, like the rest of the Faction. "She's in her office, waiting. Can I help you?" the woman asked me.

Stupidly, I froze. What should I ask for? I had no idea what to say. _Hello, can you please show me where you keep your files on the attack on Divergent's?_ No. That would not be a good idea. Eric was watching me closely and I found myself blushing. He was watching me carefully, probably hoping that I would mess up.

"Uh, records? I mean, is there a records hall?" I asked awkwardly.

The woman stared at me for a moment, clearly not believing that I was here for records. But Eric was with me and no one would dare defy anyone that was here with Eric. That was the one good thing about him being around. The woman finally nodded at me and turned in her chair.

"Straight back. Stay out of the last two rows. Classified documentation is there," she told me.

"Okay. Thank you," I said, nodding at her.

She had no idea that she had just unknowingly told me where I needed to go. "And Eric, I'll let Jeanine know you're on your way back," she told him.

Eric nodded at her before leading me away from the desk. We moved off and I turned to head back to the records section. I only had so long to look around back there. If Eric hated Jeanine as much as it seemed, he would try to make the meeting as fast as possible. Plus I was sure that he wanted to catch me doing something that I shouldn't have been doing. But, before I could disappear, Eric caught my arm.

"Watch what you do in there. I'm watching you," he growled at me.

I nodded weakly. Something about Erudite made Eric edgier than he normally was. "Okay," I muttered.

"Stay back there. I'll get you when my meeting is over. Don't you dare touch anything other than your mother's medical records. Got it?" he asked, towering over me.

I knew that Eric was being deadly serious about this. "Got it," I said, waiting for him to let go of my arm.

It took him a few seconds longer than it should have, but he finally released my arm and let me go back to the records section. As I walked through the doors I prayed that no one would be back where I needed to be. But, to my pleasure, the section was empty. That made things ten times easier. I didn't have to avoid anyone. Everyone was out working in the main rooms. I let out a breath when I saw that there were at least twenty shelves stacked to the roof of files. It would take me all day.

There were records about people, the Factions, and everything else imaginable. But those weren't the files that I needed. So I walked straight back into the thankfully unguarded restricted section. I couldn't understand why it wasn't guarded. Anyone could get back here. They were all alphabetized and I walked straight for the D section. It was only a second before I found it. Divergent. It was a hard file to miss. It was huge. It had to be the biggest one I had seen yet.

All of the files were in glass cases to protect them from the air. I grabbed the handle of the case and went to open it before I realized that there was a mechanical lock. It was for a password. I let out a deep sigh. There went my idea that this was going to be easy. There were four numbers. What the hell were the four numbers? I stood there for at least ten minutes, thinking of dates and years, but nothing made sense. Until I remembered. I was in Erudite. They loved puzzles. This lock would be Jeanine's doing. And what was it that Jeanine always said?

Knowledge leads to prosperity. But this was a number lock. I stared at it for a while. The words made sense but it was a number lock. The words were the key. I knew they were. How did the numbers fit? And then it clicked. The first letter of each word would correspond to a number. It was the way that old keyboards and phones were designed. Knowledge. K. Five. Leads. L. Five. To. T. Eight. Prosperity. P. Seven. Five, five, eight, seven.

I sucked in a breath, afraid of what would happen if I entered the wrong pass-code. But I had to do this. I had to know. So I entered the numbers and held my breath. If I was going to die, I might as well die trying. I nearly laughed as the computerized glass case made a little ding and the doors fell open. I couldn't believe that I was smart enough to figure that out. Erudite wasn't as smart as they liked to think that they were. Maybe I would have been a good Erudite. I pulled out the file slowly, trying not to push anything out of order. Jeanine would know if something had been moved.

I dropped down onto the floor and laid the file in front of me, slowly opening it. The first few pages were something typical. It was explanations of what Divergent's were, how they came to be, and why they were so dangerous. There were pictures of known Divergent's, most long dead. The last death was over three years ago. I breezed by most of them, wishing that I could read their stories. But I couldn't. There were more important things to be doing. None of the names had an aptitude for all five Factions. Only one or two had an aptitude for four of the Factions. Like me. I gulped as I continued to brush through the files.

In a hundred years, when the file began, dozens of Divergent's had been tortured. Their families and friends killed because they had been hiding them. Like Tori was hiding me. As I read, I realized that it was Jeanine's father who started this. She was carrying his legacy. The more that I read, the more nervous I became. Nothing seemed too horrible yet. There was no plan with a mention to eliminate Divergent's.

But then I saw it. The beginnings of the plan to eradicate Divergent's. I saw the plans and pictures of prototypes of the machine that Buck had mentioned a few weeks ago. It was a scanner. It read off the percentage of Divergence. I sucked in a breath. It was already in the final design phase and had proven effective during trial runs. A Factionless woman had been killed when it had read that she was twenty percent Divergent. Jeanine wasn't just planning an extermination, she was planning an all-out war against Divergent's.

There was even a plan for where to attack. Abnegation. All because they helped the Factionless traitors. They were planning on using a compliance serum on Dauntless soldiers to attack. It would keep Erudite out of official reports. It would make Jeanine look innocent. They were using the same truth-telling machine that they used in Candor to expose mass groups of Divergent's. They were planning on cutting off Amity. They would know nothing.

Not a single damn Divergent was going to be able to survive this. Especially now that the Factionless had put us on parade. My heart was pounding in my ears as I looked over the plans for new weapons and serums. I flipped through more pages, trying to block out images of deceased Divergent's with bullet holes where their eyes should be. Near the end of the file were pictures of known Divergent's. Thankfully none were familiar to me.

But that was until I landed on a picture of myself near the end of the file. My eyes watered as I read over the note on the side. _Hold until Dauntless Initiation: Phase Three. Acquire for testing_. I felt tears rising to my eyes, threatening to spill. Jeanine knew. This was the final confirmation for me.

Hearing footsteps falling in the hall, I shoved the file back together, no longer caring if all of the papers went back in their proper order. If Jeanine was going to kill me she was not going to kill me without a fight. I knew her plans. I could do something with it. But not yet. Today I was allowed to cry. I placed it back in the glass case before sealing it and dashing back through the rows of files, trying to head into the member rows.

I stopped in the C section, walking through the files. Tears were falling and I wiped them away. Eric would never let me live me live it down. But this was not what I signed up for. I didn't want to be Divergent. I wasn't afraid of death but I didn't want to die. Not at the hands of Jeanine. I wanted more than anything to figure out a plan, but I couldn't do it alone. I needed help but I had no idea who to trust. Not Eric. He was too close to Jeanine. And not Max either. He already knew about the plan. I thought about maybe going to visit Johanna, but she was Amity. She wouldn't want to do anything. She wanted to avoid fighting.

Brushing more stray tears from my eyes, I began to paw through the files. I couldn't be crying when Eric came to get me. He could see right through me. I couldn't let him think that I had been here for anything other than my mother's medical records. I had to read something else. Something happier to get my mind off of the Divergent file. So I scanned over the files in the C section. Nothing looked interesting. Nothing could get my mind off of the dead bodies. I couldn't stop thinking that soon I would be one of them. My eyes finally flitted over a name. Coulter. I couldn't think of where I had heard it, but I knew it from somewhere. I picked up the file and held it gently. It was small.

Holding the file tightly, I flipped it open to look at the pictures of two people. Both were geneticists with titles that I couldn't even begin to understand. The man's name was Gregor. The woman's name was Margaret. They were in a domestic partnership. I frowned as I read down their file. They weren't married. But they had taken the same last name. Odd. Maybe it was to make files and whatnot a little easier to put together.

The couple were doing experimentation on raising children. Different types of parenting along with different strands of DNA. Some hand-picked to be the strongest and others to be the weakest. I didn't understand most of the language that was in the files. But something about their situation was distancing one's self from a child picked to be the strongest. I frowned once more. That wasn't fair to the child. They used their own child, conceived through a test tube. That wasn't even a child. It was an experiment. It was a boy a few years older than me. I turned to look at the picture and gasped. It was a face far too familiar to me.

Had I not been holding onto the file tightly, I would have dropped it. There was no way that this could have been him. Eric was born in Dauntless. I'd brought it up plenty of times during arguments. He never once stopped me and told me that he wasn't Dauntless born. But looking at the picture, I knew that it was him. The age was right and his name was Eric. That's why the name on the file sounded so familiar. Eric Coulter. I'd seen his file in Dauntless and had tried to grab it, but he'd stopped me.

I couldn't help but to wonder if this was the reason that Eric was the way that he was. I frowned once more. It had become a common theme for the day. His personality wasn't his fault. It was theirs. I glanced at the picture and smiled. It was a school picture. He had a full head of hair. It was darker blonde than it is now and grown out a little, with the slightest hint of a curl. He had no tattoos and no piercings. His face was a little pudgier and his eyes weren't as hard as they are now. He looked less like a leader. He looked like a little boy. But not a happy one.

Unsurprisingly I heard his voice call out behind me. "I suggest that you put that file down if you don't want to lose that hand," he called out.

I still couldn't help it. His dark voice had startled me slightly. I turned to him, fighting to keep a hold of the file. Thankfully he was alone. I didn't know what I would have done if Jeanine were with him. I continued to hold the file. He had a hard look in his eyes and I knew that he was pissed with me. Probably because I had seen the file. He must have wanted to keep his birth Faction a secret from me forever.

"Erudite?" I asked.

"Put it back. Initiate," Eric warned.

The last word was a snarl. A dare. He was not kidding. And now I knew why. This place held bad memories for him. For far more than Jeanine Matthews. And now I knew why he was so uncomfortable walking up here. This was his childhood home. He hated this place. It held no good memories for him.

"You never told me that you were from Erudite," I said softly.

The second that the words had left my mouth, I wanted to slap myself. Clearly he didn't want to talk about his life in this Faction, but here I was, pressing it. Still, I wanted to know why he had never said anything. To his credit, he merely shrugged. Although he was looking at the file like he was hoping to set it on fire just by staring at it. He took another step closer to me and I fought to stay standing where I was.

"You never asked," Eric answered me. I nearly scoffed. That was a terrible explanation.

He wasn't going to back out on this one. I wanted to know why he had never told me where he was from. "Eric, when we were fighting I must have mentioned that you had things easy, not having to change Factions. I told you multiple times that you never had to adapt to somewhere new. That you didn't have to leave anything behind," I told him.

His eyes didn't change once. They were the same typical cold that I saw whenever we had entered the ground of something that he didn't want to talk about. "And?" Eric asked tonelessly.

"You're from Erudite. You aren't Dauntless born. Why didn't you ever say something?" I asked. Once more he stayed silent. Now I knew how he felt when I did this. "Correct me or something. You love to prove me wrong."

My joke didn't go over very well. He didn't laugh or crack something close to a smile. Not that I had been expecting him to. "Listen to what you just said," he told me.

I cocked my head at him. I wasn't sure what he meant by that. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"That I didn't have to leave anything behind. I left nothing behind," he said.

I was a little startled by how cold he was. Could his parents really have never cared for him? Had he never cared for his parents? "Eric -" I started, quickly being cut off.

"I take it you read the entire file?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, knowing that telling the truth was a better option.

"Then you saw that I had nothing here. Leaving was easy. I might as well have been Dauntless born," Eric answered me.

His voice had never wavered once and I never even saw a slight hint of emotion in his eyes. His voice was cold and so were his eyes. I could feel how much he hated this place. It was something that no one deserved. I wanted to say something to him, to hug him, to try and make things better but nothing I could think of would have made his life better. Still, I felt like I had to say something. Despite everything, he was a good man.

"I- I'm... I- About your parents. You didn't - No one deserves something like that," I awkwardly tried to spit out.

Nothing seemed like it was good enough to say. As much as I wanted to pretend that I knew something about Eric's home life, I knew absolutely nothing. I wanted to know more about his family but I knew that Eric would never tell me about his home life. It didn't even seem like something that he wanted to think about himself.

"Don't," he growled at me.

I immediately silenced myself. I knew that this was the final say in this conversation. "Okay," I whispered.

"It doesn't matter. They aren't my parents. Just people that I happen to share DNA with," he snarled.

My heart broke for him at his confession. He'd never had a real family. Part of me knew that it was stupid to continue pushing at him but I couldn't stand him thinking things like that. So I moved forward and resisted placing a hand on his shoulder. I knew that actually touching him would be going a step too far. Hell, I was sure that even this was going too far.

"Everyone deserves a family, Eric. Everyone. Even you. Especially you," I told him.

I couldn't quite realize or understand why I was saying what I was saying. I just felt like these were things that I had to tell him. Things that he needed to hear. Despite knowing that he didn't want me to touch him, I moved forward and placed a hand on the side of his face. He shied away from me slightly, but said nothing else as he gently pried my hand away from him. His voice was so quiet that I barely heard him when he finally spoke once more.

"Not everyone," he growled lowly.

I wasn't sure what I should say to that. Was there anything that I could have even said? So I merely stayed silent as Eric grabbed the file roughly from my hand and closed it, shoving it back into its spot on the shelf. Briefly I wished that I would have taken the picture of him. I liked it and it reminded me that Eric wasn't always this way. Besides, he had a picture of me. I deserved to have one of him.

"So tell me," Eric began and I glanced up.

The same teasing look was back in his eyes. But they still looked harder than normal. "Tell you what?" I asked, prodding him on.

"Did you find the files for your mother?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, nodding at him.

"And tell me, when did she come to the Erudite Medical Center?" he asked.

It didn't take a genius to know that he was goading me into a trap. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew the date that my mother had been to the Erudite Medical Center, but he wanted to know if I actually knew. Eric wasn't stupid. He was from Erudite. He knew that I wasn't here for my mother's medical records. This was just solid proof. For a moment I wished that I had actually gone through the files and found my mother's medical records. In the event of something like this.

"Two weeks ago," I answered him.

I hoped that by some grace of god, I might have been right. But the look on Eric's face, and the sinking feeling in my stomach, told me that I was wrong. His eyes were sparkling now and I was somewhat grateful that we had at least gotten off of the topic of his family and his life here in Erudite.

"Really?" Eric asked.

The teasing lilt in his voice was back and it put me on edge. "Yes," I muttered.

I knew that I was caught and Eric was not the type to let things drop. "That's strange. Because Jeanine tells me that your mother hasn't been here in nearly a month," Eric teased.

In all honesty, I should have seen this coming. I blanched at him. I knew that Eric was slowly unraveling my lie. It wouldn't be long now before he figured out that I was Divergent. I was going to have to be careful. Eric was working with Jeanine. Maybe he didn't know about the attack yet, but it wouldn't be long. And then, as much as I hated it, we would be on two different sides. I couldn't trust him. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

"So tell me. What were you really looking for?" he asked.

There was no way that Eric was still buying my lie. He probably just liked watching me squirm. But if he didn't get the answer that he wanted, and soon, I had no doubt that he would force it out of me. But I had to stick to my story. I couldn't change anything that I had already told him.

"My mother's medical records. My old records," I told him, fighting to keep my voice steady.

It was easy to see that Eric knew that I was lying. He took another step towards me but I managed to stay in place. "Liar. Tell me the truth," Eric hissed at me.

I shook my head weakly and backed myself up against the shelf. "It is the truth," I muttered.

"I don't think it is."

"It is."

No matter what I said, nothing was working out in my favor. I had successfully managed to corner myself by the shelves and I wanted to slap myself. This was where he liked to be. Anywhere that he could trap me underneath him. He was leaning over me with one hand on each side of my head. There was nowhere to run and no more lies to tell. I couldn't tell the truth either. Eric couldn't know. Not until I knew where his alliances lay.

"Leave me alone," I hissed at Eric.

"No."

One of his hands lowered itself onto my shoulder. So I decided to play back. "Leave me alone, or do something about it," I said, tugging at his belt.

The two of us stared at each other for a while as Eric placed a hand behind my neck, yanking my head towards him so that he could speak in my ear. "I will. Tonight," he growled.

My heart was thumping in my chest. His hands caught on my hips once more to squeeze them before trailing back up my arms to come back to my shoulder. "Good," I whispered, barely able to say anything more.

"Now come on. Tell me why you were here. Or I'll pull it out of you. And you won't like if I have to settle with that," he told me, a low bite in his words.

There was no way that he was lying so I still kept my mouth shut. Whether or not I wanted to be Divergent, I was a part of this now. And that meant holding onto their secrets. For a moment, I feared that he might hurt me, but he never did. A figure stepped through the shelves and Eric glanced up. He didn't bother to back away from me though. I recognized her immediately. After all, I had just been looking at her picture.

"Eric?" she asked, a bored tone to her voice.

She did seem a little surprised though. Both Eric and I simply stared at the woman. She bore an incredible resemblance to Eric. But the eyes... The eyes were different. They held no life. Eric's always did. His mother merely stared at us, her even expression giving away nothing. She didn't look happy or sad. Just indifferent. And that made my blood boil. They should have never had a child. No one should have a child unless you would give them unconditional love. Not because of a science experiment.

A man stepped through the shelves a moment later and I knew that it was Eric's father. He looked very much like his father, too. "Eric, what are you doing in Erudite? Business, I take it," his father said blandly.

"Yes," Eric said through clenched teeth.

Neither one held any emotion in their eyes. Despite the strange position Eric and I were in, neither one seemed to even notice me. Eric nodded at his father with his jaw clenched tightly. Eric towered over both his mother and father and I knew that he could have killed them if he wanted to. I couldn't help but to wonder if there was any lost love there, or if they really hated each other.

The air quickly became awkward as Eric said nothing. He just stared at his parents, none of them seemingly willing to say anything. So I took the conversation into my own hands. Perhaps they were just startled. I shoved one of Eric's hands down to the sides and walked up to his parents. "Hello. It's a pleasure to meet the two of you. My name is Alex. I'm one of Eric's initiates in Dauntless," I introduced myself.

His parents nodded as I reached out to shake their hands. "Pleasure," his father said.

"Good to meet you," his mother said.

Neither one of them sounded like they were really that happy to be meeting me. And they looked less than thrilled that I was touching them, but they shook my hands regardless. "He was just escorting me here so that I could look through my mother's medical records," I explained.

That actually got his parents attention. They each had the slightest hint of emotion in their eyes. "What's wrong with your mother?" Eric's father asked.

"Oh, she's not sick. Pregnant. Almost five months along," I said with a little smile.

Although I thought that it was happy news, it did not garner the response that I had expected. "How... unsanitary," Eric's mother said.

My fake smile dropped off of my face at her words. "Excuse me?" I asked, hoping that I'd misheard.

"Margaret," Eric warned.

My head titled to the side. He didn't even call her mom or mother. At my side, I could feel Eric tense more than I thought was humanly possible. "It's just a fact, Eric," Margaret said.

"It's rude," I put in, before Eric could say anything.

"I suppose it's a sweet sentiment though," his mother continued.

Maybe she was trying to make up for it. "They're very happy. My parents only ever had me," I told them.

"Are you a transfer?" Eric's father asked.

"Yes, sir."

"From where?"

"Amity."

"Amity?" his mother asked. I nodded. "I wasn't aware that many Amity transferred into Dauntless."

This time it was Eric that spoke up. "They don't. If she makes it through initiation - and she's in the perfect spot to do so - she will be the first Amity member to ever make it into Dauntless," Eric stated.

"Charming," Eric's father said, sounding not charmed at all.

"Your parents only had one child? That's impressive, coming from Amity. They don't seem to ever be able to show restraint," Eric's mother said.

That time my jaw dropped, and I was unable to say anything more. "Margaret!" Eric shouted, startling his parents.

He looked like he might hit them, so I placed a hand on his chest and kept him back. "It's alright," I mumbled to him. "For your information, my parents had fertility issues. They were lucky to even have me."

His mother merely huffed. "Eric never escorts initiates. There has to be another reason," she analyzed, changing the subject.

"We just happened to be going to the same place at the same time," I said.

They both nodded at me, not saying anything. They were such awful people. They made Eric seem like a Patron Saint. My teeth were grinding together as I forced myself to remain civil around these people. How could they be so heartless? So emotionless? Even Eric showed emotion better than them. And that was a hard thing to beat.

"Are you sleeping with him? You wouldn't be the first," Eric's mother said.

That time I couldn't help it. My jaw fell open at her words. I was floored at her words. Did she mean that I wasn't the first initiate that Eric had slept with? I certainly hoped not. I wasn't sure why, but I felt a certain possessiveness when it came to Eric. Like I wanted to be the only one to touch him. I knew that he felt the same way about me. Eric opened his mouth to say something, but I spoke over him, wanting to end the conversation.

"Not sleeping together. But we are together." It was a complete lie, but I enjoyed the look on his parent's faces. I grabbed his hand and entwined our fingers. His hand completely engulfed mine and was grasping tightly at mine. "We should be going. It's getting late. I'd like to say that it was a pleasure meeting you, but it wasn't."

I flashed his parents a sweet smile and turned to leave. What could I say? Some Amity traits never died. We turned and left the compound without another word. I dragged Eric behind me as we walked back through the shelves. When I turned back before we left the records section I saw that his parents were already pawing through the shelves of files, speaking softly to each other. I growled to myself. They were horrible people. Not once did Eric bother looking back at his parents.

We walked through the lobby before heading back to the train station. The train had to be close. I could hear it whistling off in the distance. The sun was already set and I figured that it was already either nine or getting close. The train roared around the corner and I jumped first, pulling myself easily into the compartment. It was a good comparison from earlier. Eric threw himself in easily behind me and took the seat at the wall of the train car right next to me.

Typically Eric was never one to shut up, as teasing me was one of his favorite pastimes, but that was not the case today. He was silent as he stared down at his hands. His face was an unreadable mask and I sighed. I wished that I could tell what was in his mind. He wasn't an easy man to read. But there was one way that I could at least know what he felt about tonight.

"So is that offer for ten still on the table?" I asked softly. I wasn't sure what kind of mood he was in right now.

Apparently he was still in a somewhat good mood. The corner of his lips quirked up and I smiled. "Come by and see what happens," he told me with a little laugh.

I grinned at him and nodded. "Okay," I said softly.

Despite the awkward encounter with his parents and the impending war on Divergent's, I was glad that I could be happy. Even if for just one night. "Initiate?" Eric called. I looked up at him. I hated that I was now responding to that name. But I was working at it. One day he would call me by my name. "Don't think that the conversation about why you were in Erudite is over. I'm giving you a pass for tonight. But we will discuss it."

"I figured," I admitted, nodding at him.

He would eventually want to know why I was in Erudite and one day I would have to tell him the entire truth. I didn't blame him for wanting to know. He had every reason to be cautious of me. I was sneaking out of my Faction to go to the records department of another one. He had every right to believe that I was up to no good. I just had to come up with a better lie by then. I wasn't sure that I would ever be able to manage the truth.

"Eric," I said, making him look up at me. "About your parents -"

He cut me off before I could even think of what I wanted to say. "Don't," he sneered.

It was harsh, the way that he said it. It left no room for argument. So I nodded and silenced myself, glancing down at my boots. The rest of the ride was made in silence but it wasn't uncomfortable. We arrived back at the Dauntless compound and I jumped out first. I wobbled for a moment before steadying myself so that I didn't fall. Once more, Eric landed perfectly. I glanced up at the clock and saw that it was half an hour until ten. I felt like I should give him at least a few minutes to himself after his day. Besides, there was something that I had to do.

There was someone that I owed a major explanation to. Someone that had been a good person to me over the past few months. Eric seemed to be waiting to see if I would follow him back or not, so I turned towards him with a steady face. There was something that I had to do and I had to force myself to do it. Things were changing. No more lies. No more faking it. If I wanted to be truly Dauntless, this was where I started.

"Go back to your apartment. There's something that I have to do first," I told him evenly.

For a moment I thought that he might argue, but he merely nodded at me. "Don't fall asleep on me," he joked.

I nearly laughed. I was wide awake. I had a feeling sleep would not come easily tonight. "I'm not planning on it. I have something to keep me awake," I said, giving him a pointed look.

"One way or another, we're talking tonight. You're right. The games are over," Eric said.

For once, I liked the darkness in his eyes as he spoke to me. I nodded and let him walk back to his apartment. I didn't want for him to see me headed to Damien's apartment. I had a feeling that he still wanted to remove the man from Dauntless for ever being with me. Waiting for him to get back to his apartment, I walked into the Pit and stopped at the bar. I grabbed a shot from the bartender and downed it before turning back to Damien's apartment. Just a little liquid courage.

Peeking around the corner to Damien's hallway, I was glad to see that Eric must have already walked into his room. I approached Damien's door slowly, trying to steady my breathing. I almost didn't want to do this but I knew that I had to. He deserved to know the truth. Or, at least, the convoluted truth that I was going to give him. He couldn't know about Eric. But I still needed to tell him that he was a good person, and I saw that, but only as friends. I knocked quickly and the door almost immediately opened.

I gave a nervous smile to Damien. He was fully clothed and smiled when he saw me. I hated that smile. It made this even harder. "Alex. Good to see you," he said.

"Hey, Damien. I wondered if we could talk," I said, trying to plaster a smile on my face.

He wore his normal smile on his face but looked a little surprised that I was here. Not that I blamed him. It had been a few days since I had seen him last. But he knew that I was busy with the end of Phase One. My heart skipped a little when I thought about what Jeanine wanted with me after Phase Three but I shook it off. I didn't have to think about that. Not right now.

"Sure. Come on in," he told me, stepping to the side so that I could walk into his apartment.

"Thank you," I muttered under my breath.

"Want something to drink?" he asked me.

I turned back and nodded. He was a good man. He deserved someone better than me. "Water, if that's alright," I told him softly.

He nodded at me and walked behind the counter to grab me a glass of water. "Not a problem," he said.

I headed straight back to his living room but jumped when I saw that someone was already there, planted in my normal spot at the edge of Damien's couch. This certainly wasn't a conversation that I wanted to have with someone else listening in. I shrugged, figuring that I could come back another day. The person on the couch finally turned back to me and I had to suppress a gasp. It was Colt. What the hell was he doing here? I didn't know that Colt even knew Damien.

"Oh - I, uh - I didn't realize that you had company. Look, I'll just come back later," I told Damien awkwardly.

Damien was perched behind the counter looking more than a little concerned about my sudden change in demeanor. Colt was still sitting on the couch, grinning up at me. "Alex, what is it? You can hang out here. Don't worry, Colt won't mind," Damien said.

Colt merely gave me a grin that made a sharp shiver shoot down my spine. "He's right. I don't mind, little Amity," Colt purred.

"Besides it's been a while since I've seen you," Damien said.

If I said what I wanted to say out loud, Damien would wish that I had left when I'd offered. And then Colt would know that I was breaking Dauntless rules. "Yeah, I know. But it's just that Colt and I don't really see eye-to-eye," I said.

"Oh?" Damien asked.

"Yes. But I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't be friends with. Just, enjoy each other's company," I said awkwardly.

Damien was watching me with mild concern and Colt was grinning, knowing that his presence was making me nervous. "Alex, are you sure that you want to go?" Damien asked.

After the Hunter fight, I tried to stay as far away from Jade and Colt as I could. "I'm sure. I'll come back later. I have something to tell you but I'd prefer it just be between you and me," I told Damien honestly.

He smiled at me and shook his head. He had clearly forgotten about my water. There was a glass of liquor that sat untouched on his counter and I found myself glad that he hadn't been drinking tonight. He might need his wits about him if Colt tried something. The hair on the back of my neck was standing up and I tried to brush the feeling off. This was Damien. We were sort-of dating. He was a nice guy. There was nothing to be freaked out about.

"I think Colt's good at keeping secrets," Damien said with a smile that Colt returned.

"I'm sure he is," I muttered.

"You can stay. Seriously, I'd prefer if you stay. I mean what else do you have to do?" Damien asked. _Eric_. But I wasn't going to tell him that. Not right now. And I did not want to stay. I wanted to be in Eric's room. "And Colt here tells me that you're in the sixth place ranking. That's pretty impressive."

"Thanks, but I'm serious," I told him through tight lips. He was starting to press me and that wasn't something that I liked. "Colt and I; we don't get along and I'm not comfortable. Trust me, the conversation is best had in private."

I was slowly finding myself getting angry with him. Damien was usually understanding. He rarely pressed me for things. "Sounds like something's bothering you," Colt said.

Something was bothering me. Both of them were. I ignored Colt and looked to Damien. "I'll see you later. Maybe I'll come by tomorrow. I have the day off," I said, trying to placate him.

He said nothing to me and I took that as I sign that I should leave. Perhaps I had interrupted something between the two of them. The air seemed a little tenser than usual. Or maybe it was my knowledge of what was awaiting me three doors down. Or perhaps the impending war. I just knew that something was putting me on edge.

"Alex?" Damien asked before I could take five steps.

I stopped and turned back to see him standing in front of the kitchen counter. Colt had also risen from his spot on the couch. Maybe he was going to take the high road and leave. "Yes?" I asked.

"Can I tell you a quick story before you leave?" he asked me.

I didn't like the sound of it but I nodded anyways. I didn't want to start a fight with these two. "Sure."

"Did you know that I wasn't Dauntless born?" he asked. "I'm a transfer. Just like you. But I'm from Erudite."

That certainly surprised me. Not just surprised me, it stunned me. Damien had always told me that he was Dauntless born. He had told me stories of himself growing up in Dauntless. Was this some type of stupid joke? Maybe I was the stupid one. I should have asked Zeke. I could have asked Zeke. He would have known. But I was stupid. Blind.

"You aren't Dauntless born?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"No," he admitted, at least having the decency to look ashamed.

"But you told me that you were. Why would you lie?" I asked him.

I wasn't sure what to make of this. He had lied, but why? Could it have been an innocent lie or was this something dangerous? "I was afraid that you might not like me," Damien said softly.

I felt a wave of pity sink into the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to have to end things with him. He didn't always go about things in the best ways but he did mean well. He seemed like a good guy. I knew that he was a good guy. But I just couldn't understand why he was telling me this now. Maybe because he knew the end was coming.

"Oh," I muttered, feeling extremely guilty.

"I was afraid that if you knew about my family you would want nothing to do with me," he said.

Part of me wanted to laugh at his confession but I was glad that I hadn't. Everyone had crazy families. And even though Erudite weren't very loving didn't mean that they were bad people. There were lots of people that had crazy families. And his couldn't have been any worse than Eric's.

"Damien, we all have crazy families. I have a crazy family and so do you," I told him. My family wasn't that bad but they certainly had their moments. "But I don't care."

The moment that I said it, I wanted to hit myself. Not that I was afraid that Colt would use it against me, he had no proof. But I could have just made things even harder to end. I'd never had to break things off with a person before. And clearly I wasn't very good at it. I should have just said something in the doorway. Every second I was here made it harder.

A little hint of amusement shot through Damien's eyes and I wondered if he was thinking about his family. "But, you see, it's not like normal families. I don't have crazy parents. No. It's my siblings," he said. I didn't like the way that his speech had suddenly become formal. I'd never heard him speak like that before. "I have an older brother. He stayed in Erudite though. But I have a younger brother too."

This time he wore a full smile on his face and I certainly didn't like it. Colt was wearing a smile that mirrored Damien's. "Okay," I said slowly and under my breath.

"He transferred out of Erudite. Just like his big brother," Damien said, his voice going slightly higher at the end of his statement.

My mind went blank as Colt came to stand on my other side, leaving me effectively trapped in between the two. They were both too close to me for comfort. I found myself wishing that I had a knife or gun. Not that I was sure I would be able to use either. I looked them over carefully, Damien's words weighing on me. A younger brother that transferred. Was he trying to tell me that Colt was that brother? He couldn't. They don't look anything alike. But as I was looking for any similarities I saw it. Damien's hair was a few shades darker than Colt's. But at the roots of Damien's hair I saw it. The same shade of hair that Colt had. I remembered the day that I had seen Damien in the salon. He wasn't there to get it cut. He was there to get it dyed. But why? Why the secrecy?

"Colt? Colt is your brother," I said softly, not wanting to believe it.

Damien was the good guy. I was so sure of it. But it was getting harder to believe that with every passing second. "Well spotted Softie," Colt purred at me.

I growled deep in my throat. Even Eric had stopped calling me that. "Asshole," I snapped at him.

"Honestly, I'm shocked that it took you that long to figure out. Come on, same eyes. Same figure. Almost the same hair," Colt said. As he listed the things off I felt more and more foolish. He was right. They had so many similarities that it was hard to ignore. "I guess it's a good thing you didn't come to Erudite."

He was right. It was a good thing that I hadn't come to Erudite. I wasn't intelligent at all. Jeanine had already proved that. She had found out that I was Divergent after only having two conversations with me. And now Colt and Damien were adding to the reasons of why I was a damned idiot.

"Why? Why are you telling me this?" I asked them, fighting to keep the fear out of my voice.

Alone, I wasn't afraid of Damien or Colt. But together they could do serious damage to me. And this time no one was here to stop them. "Because, Amity, someone had to show you just how stupid you've been. Sleeping with the enemy. Literally," Damien laughed.

Colt followed with the same heartless laugh. "What?" I asked, my voice shaking.

My blood ran cold at his words. Everything. It was all a lie. "You know, when Colt here first got to Dauntless and he told me about this little Amity, I thought he was just being over dramatic. But he kept talking about you and I agreed to meet you. It wasn't just chance that I met you at the bar. Colt had described you to me. The minute I saw you I went to you," he said. I nearly threw up. I remembered it now more clearly than ever. I should have caught it. The eagerness in his eyes. But I had ignored it because I wanted to prove that I was Dauntless. "I messed up but I managed to get back into your good graces. Until I had won you over."

His words had gone straight through me like a knife. A lump was forming in my throat making it difficult to breath. "So what was the point? To make me look stupid? Very well done boys. Both of you. You fooled me," I said, hoping I could leave. But I knew that this meeting was far more sinister. "And now I'm going to leave. Excuse me."

I had to get out of here. They had already made me look like a fool. That was enough. But they weren't going to let me leave just like that. "No, don't leave yet. We're going to show you a little fun first," Colt hissed at me.

My hands shook as he put me in between himself and Damien. They had me trapped. Eric had told me once that if I was ever outnumbered in a fight to not let myself get trapped. And that was exactly what I had done. "No, thanks," I said softly.

"You got Hunter, Jade, and I dropped to the bottom of the ranking board. It's your fault Hunter got the life beaten out of him," Colt snarled.

And just like that my blood began to boil. That was what this was about? "He knew the rules! You all did. We don't fight to kill each other, we fight to disarm. You all took that fight a step too far. Hunter got what he deserved," I sneered at him. It was true.

"He lost his place," Colt snarled at me.

The same would have happened to anyone that did something like that during a fight. "It was Eric, not me. I don't control what he does." They didn't bother to say anything but had smirks clearly planted on their faces. "So what happens now? You're going to kill me? You think your ranking is low now, just wait. You kill me and you'll be Factionless," I told them.

Not that I actually believed that either one would really do it. Colt was a terrible person but I didn't believe that he had it in himself to kill me. No, that was why he had had Hunter do the dirty work. I believed that they would attack me, but not kill me. Still though, I was fighting back my nerves. I had never been in a situation like this before. I should have just gone back with Eric.

"No. We aren't going to kill you," Colt said. I almost let out a breath at his words. I knew that he wouldn't do it. "We're going to do what we need to with you and then, then we're going to kill you. Toss you over the Chasm. By the time they find your body they'll think it was a suicide."

Ice ran through my veins at his words. They could do it. They could kill me and then throw my body down the Chasm. People committed suicide there all of the time. It wouldn't be surprising if another one did. But there was a flaw in their plan. Cameras were all over Dauntless. Someone would see them carrying the body. _My_ body. Hopefully Four. He would kill them for me.

"You'll keep your fucking hands off of me. Both of you," I warned.

A cold smile crossed Damien's face. "I've never heard you say that before," Damien teased.

 _Keep them talking, Alex_. "There are cameras down there. You don't think that they'll see you dragging a body in there? There are worse punishments than being Factionless for killing someone. You'll be executed yourselves. Both of you," I said, looking over to Damien for the first time in a while.

I couldn't believe that he was just going along with this. I couldn't believe that he wasn't the man that I had thought that he was. I couldn't believe how stupid I was. There were so many things that I couldn't believe. I had been such an idiot this entire time. They had been planning this for months and I'd walked right into their trap.

"You think that we didn't think this through?" Damien snarled at me. Of course they had. They were still Erudite. "There are service hallways. Back doors out of this apartment. I have friends in the Control Room. People that can get rid of any footage and replace it before anyone can ask any questions. We already know what we're doing. We have the whole plan laid out and ready. And I didn't have to get you here. You just willingly came. Thank you, little Amity."

Now I couldn't help but to shake. They were going to kill me and I had no ideas how to get out of here. Damien was blocking the exit and there was nothing that I could use as a weapon. I was defenseless. They were both far too strong for me to take on, afraid and alone. The only thing that I could do was run and hope to catch them off guard. They were not going to kill me. Jeanine was not going to kill me. I was going to live.

Dashing away as quickly as I could, I bounded over the couch before making a dead sprint to the door. They had been expecting me to do that. Damien caught me before I made it to the door and grabbed my ankle, pulling me to the ground. I fell and cried out at the slight tug in my bones. Before I could make another move Damien grabbed me and flipped me over, punching me in the stomach. I tried to shimmy away, ignoring the throbbing as Colt walked over to us. He stepped down roughly on my knees and I couldn't help it. I screamed. I prayed that someone could hear me but I knew that everyone would be in the Pit. There was no way I was getting out of this. I couldn't fight both. I tried to grab Colt's weak knee but he stepped on my hand before I could.

Once more I opened my mouth to scream but Damien's hand clamped itself over my mouth. A tear fell from my eyes as I tried to get out of his grasp. I shouldn't have come here. I saw Colt's foot coming towards me and I tried to move out of the way. Damien's hold faltered slightly and I missed the boot the first time. The second time I was not so lucky.

His boot came down on my throat as hard as possible. I tried to gasp for breath but I couldn't. Air wouldn't come to me. Before I could regain my strength, another kick came to my head and I cried out. Colt grabbed me to sit up and I thrashed out. My thumb came in contact with his face and I jammed my finger as hard into his eye as I could. He screamed in pain before falling. I opened my mouth and let out another piercing scream but it wasn't long before Damien grabbed me by the throat.

He held me still for a moment and I was brought back to my fight with Hunter. I was in the same position. But I had lived through that fight. I was going to die now. Colt slowly stood back up and I saw that his eye was bleeding and swollen. Part of the cornea looked like it was protruding slightly from the eye. But he didn't slow down as he grabbed my throat from Damien blindly. He had one hand on each side of my neck and was squeezing hard. I jammed my foot as hard into his stomach as I could, but he refused to let go.

Time after time I kept kicking him, but he wasn't letting go. And as he squeezed tighter, I was unable to fight. I couldn't breathe as he twisted my neck to the side. He was going to break my neck. He twisted once more and I could feel the bones crunching in my weak neck. Each twist was harder and I tried to gasp for air. I had been able to keep my neck steady enough to fight his twists but my resolve was dying with the lack of oxygen. I was going to die. He was going to kill me.

In the background I could hear fighting and screaming. Maybe that was actually me. I couldn't tell what was happening. Maybe someone had found me. My hearing wasn't quite right and my vision was nearly black. It didn't matter if someone was here. I was going to die first. As Colt twisted my neck once more I felt another vertebrae crack and a searing pain shot up my spine. The next snap was going to kill me. Or paralyze me. Maybe Colt would make it slow.

But it never came. His weight was thrown off of me and I fell to the ground gasping for air and crying out. My neck was straining with every movement and I let out a few loud cries. Tears were streaming down my face as my vision slowly came back. What the hell happened? I was about to die.

My vision was slowly coming back as I glanced around the room. Everything was still blurry as I noticed that Damien lay a few feet from me, bloody and immobile. Barely able to turn my neck, I glanced to the other side of me to see that Eric was kneeling over Colt's body. The boy wasn't fighting back and I could tell that Eric was not holding back his hits. Colt was twitching slightly with every hit that Eric continued to rain down on his body. I tried to stand but found myself barely able to do so. I still managed to hoist myself up and weakly walk over to Eric before falling back to my knees.

"Eric. Eric. Eric! Stop!" I yelled weakly. "Come on! Please!"

He seemed to finally snap out of his daze as he looked down to me. Fury was radiating through his eyes and off of his body. He was shaking and letting out deep panting breaths as he hovered over Colt. I turned back to Colt briefly, wondering if Eric had killed him. He certainly wasn't moving. He yanked on Colt's shirt and brought their faces together.

"You touch her, or anyone else in the compound ever again and I will not stop. You hear me?" Eric asked rhetorically. Neither Colt nor Damien were moving. They were either dead or close to it. "I'll beat you to death next time."

Eric got off of Colt before grabbing me. "Eric -" I tried, unable to find the words.

He didn't need me to say them. "Come on," he said.

As we left, neither one stirred at all. He walked me back to his apartment on shaky legs. His arm was underneath my own and wrapped around my waist, pulling me with him. Next to me, I could feel that he was shaking too. But not from fear. My back was groaning in protest as he seated me at a stool behind his kitchen. He grabbed a bottle off of the counter before grabbing a pill out of it. He handed it over to me with a glass of water, which he slammed on the counter. He was furious.

"Take these. They'll take the edge off," he said.

I said nothing but took the pill from him before swallowing it. The pill seemed to stick to my throat but I eventually got it down. I wanted to say something but I couldn't I wouldn't have even known what to say. I was horrified. I had almost died. Colt had only been a few seconds from killing me. And he would have been successful had Eric not come to save me.

"I heard you scream," Eric said. His voice was low, like he was fighting the urge to not scream. "Wasn't sure that it was you. I walked out in the hallway and saw that it was coming from Roberts's room. Figured it had to be you. What the hell happened in there?"

But I wasn't able to say anything. Even though Eric obviously wanted me to say something. His comment wasn't a question. It was a demand for me to tell him. But I still didn't say anything. I still couldn't think of anything to say. He had saved my life. Eric had saved me. Eric, the man that was completely cruel and loved to watch me get hurt, had saved my life. I would be dead if it weren't for him. And, because of him, Colt and Damien might be dead.

"You don't go back there tonight. Not to the dorms," Eric said. Even though I was looking down at my lap and not speaking, Eric knew that I was listening to him. "He won't be moving for a while but you don't go back there. Not if his little friends knew what he was planning tonight. You can stay here."

All I wanted to do was sleep for the rest of my life. I should have been listening better, but I had barely heard him. My body was shaking so much that I thought that at any minute I might have a seizure. I had nearly died. It was finally hitting me, just how close I had been to death. Despite the fact that I didn't want to say anything, there was something that I had to know.

"Did you kill him? Either of them?" I asked.

I wasn't sure whether or not I cared. It was more just because I needed to say something. I found that I didn't even recognize my own voice. It was soft and strangling. Not teasing or strong like it normally was. It was like every word was a challenge to say. My neck was still killing me as I shifted in my chair slightly.

"It doesn't matter," Eric snapped at me.

His anger wasn't at me. I had known him long enough to know when he was angry at me, or when it was at a situation. I found myself shaking once more. At any moment I thought that I might just collapse. He could have killed me. He would have killed me. I should have known. Colt was a bad person but I had never thought that he was really a killer. Not really. I was a fool. For believing that and being with Damien.

"I told you not to go back there," Eric told me. His voice was low and dangerous. "I told you!" Eric was holding a glass in his hands and he turned to smash it against the door. The glass shards went flying but I didn't jump. I didn't move at all. He was right. I wasn't suited for Dauntless. "Why the hell didn't you listen to me? I was trying to help you."

Once more I said nothing. He was right. About everything. I should have listened to him from the beginning. He waited for me to say something, all the while seething. My hands were folded over the counter and I stared down at them. They were already bruising from where Colt had stepped on them. I could see that a few bones were probably slightly out of place. I would have to fix those later. Eric's hands were covered in blood.

"Aren't you going to say something? Anything? Since when were you ever at a loss for words?" Eric asked me after a long silence. I said nothing. I had nothing to say. "Come on little Amity. Say something."

That time I found myself saying something. "Don't call me that!" I shouted at Eric.

We were both shocked by how loud my voice had gotten. I hadn't thought that I was capable of that right now. Eric was glaring at me and I knew that he was furious. It wasn't just him. I was furious with myself. I couldn't believe what I had done. I couldn't believe that I'd actually thought that Damien might have real feelings for me.

"He called me that," I told Eric, softer that time. Tears were rising once more and I brushed them away. Not right now. "I get it! I fucking get it! I shouldn't have gotten involved with him. You were right. I was stupid. I wasn't being Dauntless, just foolish. You were right. I'm not suited for Dauntless. Dauntless are brave, not reckless. So congratulations. You were right."

My voice was much softer that time. I hated admitting to Eric that I had been wrong the entire time. He was right and I was wrong. About everything. He had gotten what he wanted. He was silent for a moment before he spoke once more. And his voice was quieter than it had been in a while.

"I never wanted to be right. I wanted you to prove me wrong."

I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say to him. I had let him down. I had let myself down. I had thought that I was invincible and I wasn't. I had gotten so caught up in the life of a Dauntless that I hadn't seen past Damien's appeal. I was foolish. I should have known that Damien was not a good guy. I should have turned from the room the second that I saw Colt. I did everything wrong. I let everyone down. Myself and Eric most of all. Once more I realized that I would be dead if it weren't for him.

But something occurred to me. "Did you know him? From Erudite?" I asked.

Eric looked over to me with something almost like a smile. "Why do you think that I warned you to stay away from him?" he asked.

Part of me wanted to laugh at myself. How would I ever get through mental initiation? I was weak. I'd had two people, technically three, try to kill me. Jeanine wanted me dead. There was a war brewing on the horizon. I was one of the only people that knew about it and I didn't know how to stop it. Eric thought that I was a blubbering fool. And I was. My parents had found something new to love. Florian and Iris had each other now. My friends here, they would always have each other. But I was alone with no one to turn to. I'd even lost Eric. If I'd ever even had him.

"Look at me," Eric ordered me.

It was an outright order, something that I couldn't ignore, but I didn't bother. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Not after everything. I was staring at his counter. The picture of me in the red dress that he had stolen from my room back in Amity was lying there and I fought back tears. Where had that girl gone?

"Look at me, initiate." I couldn't bear to do it. I should leave right now. I didn't deserve to be here. "Look at me." His voice had gone completely hard now. The demand was clear in his voice and I knew that he was standing right in front of me. "Alex, look at me, damn it!"

His voice was so loud that it nearly rattled the walls. That time my eyes shot up. He had said my name. My real name. I knew that he did. It hadn't been a trick that my mind was playing on me. He had said my name. Or had I imagined it? But judging by the surprised look on his face, I assumed that he really did say it. And he probably hadn't meant to.

"You said my name," I told him. It barely came out as anything more than a whisper. I couldn't believe he had said it.

"You earned it," he said, referencing his words months ago that he would tell me my name when I had earned it. But how had I? I failed to see that. "Anyone else would have never even looked at me again after the Chasm. After I paired you with Hunter. But you did. You fought back against everything that I did to you. You never stopped. Not even when I said things that would have destroyed someone else. You aren't weak. You're a damn idiot. But you aren't weak." I almost cracked a smile. "Come on, don't get soft on me now. I told you earlier. These games, we're done with them. And tonight, it makes us even for the Chasm."

He was right. The games were over. Whatever had happened tonight didn't matter. He mattered. He had saved my life. He was more than just the cruel Dauntless leader. I had known it the entire time, in the back of my mind, exactly what he meant to me. But this had been my final confirmation. The last thing that I needed.

"No, it doesn't," I told him and he raised an eyebrow. "This does."

Without taking a moment to think about what I was doing, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to stand flush against me. He smirked for a moment before I grabbed him and pressed myself completely up against him. I raised my mouth at the same time that he dropped his and kissed him. Just like I had always wanted to. His lips were soft but chapped. Probably from yelling at me. They captured mine in a kiss that screamed that I was his. For once I didn't bother fighting it. And even though he didn't say it, I could feel it. _I'm sorry_. From both of us.

The kiss was not gentle and it was not romantic, but it was what I wanted. It didn't take long before he pushed my body back into the counter. The sharp edge dug into my back but I wasn't going to dare stop him. I gasped in pain and he took the momentary lapse in judgement on my part as an opportunity to push his tongue into my mouth. We wrestled with each other but he won in the end. He was the dominant type. Not that I minded.

His hands were tight around my hips as they grabbed tightly to my skin and pushed me up onto the counter, stepping it between my slightly open legs. I bit his lip and he grinned into our kiss. My entire body felt like it was on fire as his hands wound up my spine before grabbing the roots of my hair and yanking roughly. I gasped as he briefly moved down my neck to bite roughly at the crease between my shoulder and neck. A spot that elicited something between a moan and soft cry. I reached down to grab the hem of his shirt before his hands grabbed onto mine.

"Alex -"

I waited for him to say something more, but he never did. I liked the way that he said my name. I wished that he had said it more often. I was extremely surprised that he had stopped me. I would have thought that he wanted it. But I could tell by the way he was staring at me that he did want it. His hands were shaking at my sides. I could feel them. I wondered if I said no if he would actually stop. But I wasn't going to say no. I didn't want to say no. We had come too far to stop. I had been waiting too long. I needed the comfort. We both did.

"Do it. I want it. I want you," I breathed.

"You're messing with my mind, Amity," he said.

I laughed softly as he grabbed me off of the counter and I gasped, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist. He threw me up against the wall and I gasped, leaning back down to his lips once more. He had gotten his confirmation. The only thing that either one of us had needed. He wasn't waiting long anymore. We had both waited far too long. I moved back from him and peeled his shirt off of his body before letting him do the same to mine. They were both tossed carelessly to the floor.

My nails dug into his back as his head dipped slightly lower than my lips. He walked back from the wall once more and I grabbed him tightly, pulling him into a bruising kiss. He broke it very suddenly as he grabbed me from his waist and literally tossed me a few feet onto his bed. I shrieked and bounced a few times before he climbed on top of me. I didn't miss the way that his movements were predatory. Like a tiger stalking its prey.

"Don't you dare move," he growled as he leaned back to my lips. I wouldn't have, even if I could.

My breath caught in my throat as he pressed his body roughly against my own. His hips ground down into mine and I knew that we wouldn't last long teasing each other. The last thing that I wanted was to drag this out. The only thing that I wanted was for the two of us to be on each other all night long. His hands dipped down to the waistband of my pants and I lifted my hips up into his, inviting him to slip them off. Our hips ground together for a few seconds and I moaned softly into his mouth.

Having him on me was so much better than I would have expected it to. Eric pulled my pants off of my legs, ripping them off as quickly as he could. He turned and threw them off of the bed like they had burned him. He dropped back down and brought his mouth back to mine. His kiss was bruising. He pushed through my closed lips for a moment and I groaned. His tongue was hot in my mouth and I smiled into the kiss as his hands snapped the clip of my bra open.

He didn't bother to hide the fact that he was blatantly staring at my chest. A blush rose to my face and trailed down my chest but I was grateful that he said nothing. He should have known that, at some point, I would have been a little embarrassed. But we had come this far. It was strange to think about. _So don't think._ His mouth left a trail of kisses down my neck and I groaned as he bit down on a few places that were more sensitive than the rest.

One in particular, just above my collarbone, made me give a loud moan. I was sure that someone outside could hear. He bit down on my neck before placing his lips there and sucking roughly on the spot. He was leaving marks all over me but I couldn't have cared less. My nails were digging into the skin on his back and he hissed in between pain and pleasure. We were marking each of us as the others. His head dipped down suddenly to my bare chest and I moaned loudly, not caring if the neighbors could hear.

His mouth completely encircled my nipple and I groaned as his teeth grazed them. I arched my back so that he was pressed harder against me and he complied, knowing what I wanted. His teeth tugged at the peak slightly and I let out a little hiss. It was much rougher than anything that anyone in Amity would have ever done. I was panting quickly, feeling like, at any moment, I would overheat. But it was damn well worth it.

One of his hands went up to weave in my hair, tugging my head back while the other worked at the nipple that he wasn't currently gently biting. He knew exactly what to do. He twisted and pinched, leaving me somewhere in between pain and pleasure the entire time. My entire core was throbbing and I wanted nothing more than for him to finish this. But he wouldn't. He was going to make me his in every way first. And that was exactly what I wanted.

My hands worked down at the button to his pants, suddenly utterly aware that he was wearing far too much clothing. The only piece of clothing that he was missing was his shirt. I didn't want him to have anything on. I wanted it all off. But he knew what I was doing and he wasn't ready yet. He grabbed my wrist with bruising force before holding it above my head. He wasn't going to let me pull his clothing off until he was done with me. I tried to struggle against his grip, but his hands were like iron. He took his free hand and grabbed the waist of my underwear. With one swift motion, he tugged them free of my hips, tearing the black lace.

At least I didn't like them very much. The side of the underwear ripped and he was able to toss the offensive garment to the side. They hit the floor, out of sight and mind. I was dripping onto the sheets and the inside of my thighs and he knew it. His finger slid across my folds and I gasped at the feeling. My legs locked up as Eric shoved them apart. We were really going to do this. His mouth was back on mine as he slid the first finger into me. I cried out into his mouth and he grinned, biting down on my lip roughly.

He sure as shit knew what he was doing as he slid his finger in and out of me. He wasn't slow and he wasn't caring. But it was everything that he wanted. Amity were the people that went slow and sweet. All I wanted was the real Eric. He was fast and harsh the entire time. He bent his finger and curled it as he went, moving out of me slowly. I gave a strangled cry into his mouth and I felt him smirk into the kiss. No one had done that to me before. And it hit something I couldn't describe inside of me.

The feeling was better than anything that I had ever experienced. It wasn't long before he placed a second and third finger in me, stretching me more than I had been expecting. He always had had large fingers. He hadn't stopped the curling motion and he hadn't slowed down. If anything, he was moving faster than before. My hips lifted from the bed as he pumped particularly roughly into me. I watched, slightly confused, as he moved his mouth down.

If I had thought that I knew exactly what he was going to do, I was wrong. He kissed down my entire body, making me sigh softly. But, as I thought that he would stop, he continued down my legs. He was pressing kisses against my inner thighs before a new move completely threw me. His tongue slid right above where his fingers were currently residing inside of me. He licked at my clit and I yelled loudly, moaning his name loud enough for the entire Faction to hear. Not that I cared. It was something that no one had ever done to me before.

It was something that I couldn't believe that I had gone for so long without. As he continued to pump his fingers in and out of me, he twirled his tongue around my clit, his thumb pressing it down. His tongue was swirling around and I gasped softly as he began to suck on the spot, his teeth gently grazing me. His name, mixed in with a few profanities, slipped from my mouth. I felt the all too familiar sensation of bundling nerves and I tried to release the tension in my body as my vision began to fade.

He was getting me so close, much faster than anyone else had ever managed it. My fingers were gripping his sheets so tightly that I thought that they might tear. But I had a feeling that he wouldn't have cared. We were both getting everything that we wanted. Just as I began to quake and shiver under him, he retracted his fingers and sent his tongue completely up my core, dipping into me briefly before sitting up. What the fuck was that? Why had he stopped?

"What -?" I asked, being quickly cut off.

"Not yet. My turn," he said.

And I suddenly knew what he meant. It was only fair. I nodded and threw my hands up to his chest, shoving him back onto the mattress. He looked extraordinarily surprised, but said nothing. He merely smirked and leaned back on the bed. Normally he would have shoved me back, and probably clear off of the bed, but today was different. I was still a little shocked that he was going to let me control him in such a way, but I didn't mind.

I finished opening the button on his pants before tearing them free from his legs. Legs that I had never seen bare before. They were pale, like the rest of him, but strong. His boxers were the only article of clothing left between us and I was fast to remove them. He was hard, not surprising to me in the slightest. I grabbed him in my hand, pumping his impressive length once. He had a larger girth than any man I had been with. Was there really a chance that I could take all of him? I would sure as hell try.

His eyes rolled back in his head as I continued to pump up and down and his fingers wrapped around my hair, letting me know that he was the one in control. Of course. Even in a position like this, he wanted to be the one in control. I didn't fight him on it. I egged him on. Without warning, I squeezed him once before opening my mouth and taking him in. I heard him suck in a breath above me and I smiled, pushing my mouth down as far as I could, almost all of the way.

He was a little too large for me to actually take all of him. One hand was cupping his balls underneath him and my other was running my nails in patterns on his inner thighs. His hands were tight in my hair as I bobbed up and down on him. Every once and a while I would completely retract from him and twirl my tongue around his tip or place a tiny bite on his hips. I noticed that each time I did that, he tensed up a little more. As I dropped down to him once more, he slammed my head down on him, forcing me to take all of him. It was hard but I refused to stop him.

It wasn't long before he pulled my mouth off of him and he sat up, throwing me back underneath him. "Fuck this," he growled.

I'd never been so happy for him to say something like that. I knew what he meant. We had waited long enough for this. We wanted each other more than anything. I wanted him inside of me. Far more than I had ever realized. How I had waited this long was beyond me. He easily complied with my wishes. Without warning, he slammed into me and I cried out. It wasn't painful but it was slightly uncomfortable at first. His lips lowered back to mine and our tongues swirled together as I adjusted to him. The moment that I had, I bucked my hips up to his, groaning as we rubbed together.

He needed no more warning than that. He retracted so that only his tip was still in me before forcing my legs completely apart and slamming back into me. It was a good thing that I was flexible. He shoved into me roughly, without mercy, and I groaned loudly. God, he was better than anything. Everything that he had done to me was well worth it as he rushed his pace, not taking any time at all. Not that I wanted him to take his time. The only thing that I wanted was to savor this.

For what felt like hours, he rode me, making grunting noises and every once in a while lowering to my lips or chest. His hands were clinging at my hips and I could see the bright red marks forming under the pressure. He was making me his in every way, marks that would last even after tonight. My nails were raking down his back as I felt my release climbing. I knew that his was too as his thrusts became more desperate and curses began to spill from his lips.

But just before I could scream out his name, he pulled out of me and sat up, grabbing my hips and pulling me on top of him. I nodded and placed myself above his waist, lowering onto him and sitting back on the balls of my feet. It took me a moment to gather my balance before I could bob up and down on him. He was stretching me as far as I could go and I moaned loudly, kissing him desperately. He was doing things to me that I had never felt before. They were things that I was praying that someone would one day make me feel. And here I was, feeling them right now.

To my surprise, Eric let me take control of our time together. He laid back and let me go at a fast pace, my breasts bouncing in front of him. His eyes were locked onto them as I threw my head back, reveling in the feeling of him. We bounced together for a while before he grabbed my hips and lifted me up slightly. My vision went blurry as he slammed into me at a faster pace than I thought was humanly possible. For such a large man, he was extraordinarily agile.

"Oh fuck. Eric! Fuck," I gasped desperately, looking for something to grab onto as I felt a pressure higher than anything I had ever experienced rose in my core.

My nails dug roughly into his back once and that was all that it took. My vision blurred and I screamed his name time after time as my body shook. Eric was the one that was doing all of the work as my body erupted into spasms, leaving me almost useless to do anything more. But that didn't seem to bother him. In fact, he looked thrilled with himself that he had done such a thing to me. While I leaned back, exposing my chest to him, Eric leaned down and placed his mouth there.

My arousal only became stronger as a slick wetness slid down my thighs. My walls were clenching around him tightly, and that was all that it took for him to release himself into me. He groaned expletives with my name mixed between them as he spilled himself into me. The feeling shocked me as he jerked into me. We were both panting heavily as he thrust a few more times into me, emptying himself. His mouth released my chest as he looked up to me with dark eyes.

The two of us said nothing. There was nothing that we could say. Instead we panted against each other, chest against chest. I leaned forward slightly, placing my forehead against his. I felt one of his hands come up to tangle in my hair as he pulled my head back, pressing a long kiss against my mouth. His hand was keeping our heads together as we exchanged a long kiss with each other. We stayed together for what might have been hours before he fell back onto his back, still inside of me. I fell with him and laid on his chest for a few moments, my legs on each side of him.

We caught our breath before I raised up, finally letting him fall out of me. Evidence of what we had been doing not a minute beforehand slid down my legs as I laid next to him. We were both breathing heavily, neither of us saying anything to the other. I wasn't quite sure what to say or do, but it didn't seem that he knew what came next either. Maybe that was just something that we had to deal with in the morning. Maybe that was something that we never had to deal with. It didn't matter. I just knew that, right now, we didn't have to think about what had happened.

The two of us stared at each other for a moment before he leaned over to me and we gave each other another lasting kiss. It was almost romantic. Not that Eric knew what it meant to be romantic. He tasted like me and I tasted like him as our tongues swirled together. We stayed like that for what felt like all night. I never wanted to leave him. But, eventually, I pulled back from the kiss and turned away from him, not bothering to grab my clothes.

Mostly I had done it so that I wouldn't need to talk to him or think about what was going to come next. There would be the price to pay in the morning for what we had done, but it wasn't something that I had to face right now. If I was lucky, I would never have to face it. I knew that I should have left, but I couldn't face reality yet. I didn't want to face the impending war, Damien or Colt, or what had just become of Eric and me. Because something had definitely just changed between the two of us. There was no coming back from what we had just done.

So I merely laid on my side for a long time before feeling Eric shift to face away from me in his bed. He laid there for a second before throwing the sheets over us and settling onto his side. We said nothing as he leaned over to the bedside table and shut the lights off. Even despite that, I could still hear his heavy breathing. We weren't looking at each other or acknowledging what had just happened, but judging by the fact that he hadn't kicked me out yet, I assumed that it was a good thing. I felt his back touch mine softly and I smiled, shutting my eyes. For the first time in what seemed like forever I slept soundly, the pleasant throbbing in between my legs a good reminder of what had happened for the first, and hopefully not the last time.

 **A/N:** There were lots of extensions to the dialogue in this chapter. There were a few extensions to the M-rated part. **Drop me a review if you feel the need!** Until next time -A


	2. Chapter 2

When the morning came, I wasn't quite sure what to think. I wasn't really even sure what had happened last night. What part of it had been a dream and what part had been real. Had any of it been real or was it all just an elaborate dream? Part of me wanted it to be a dream, but the other part of me hoped that it was real. At least, I hoped that the ending was real. Not the beginning. Because that would mean that Damien and Colt really had tried to kill me.

The only thing that I knew for a fact was that everything was wrong. The bed that I was curled up in was far too soft and the blankets weren't scratchy enough. I could feel the soft blankets laying over my bare skin and I knew that the bed was far larger than the tiny ones back in the dorms. The ones that the larger initiates usually fell out of at least once. My back and neck were throbbing and my throat felt tight, like someone had stuffed a sock down it. It felt like dried syrup was on my thighs and there was a dull throbbing in between my legs. The air here was warmer too. Everything was wrong. This wasn't the dorms. The pillow was odd too. It was harder than the completely flat one I typically used.

There was no way that I was in the dorms. So was there a chance that I was in Eric's apartment? It made me nervous to even think about. Maybe I was actually in Damien's apartment and I'd just had a crazy dream. But I knew that I wasn't. His blankets were heavier than these. So where was I?

Yawning softly, I opened my eyes and was immediately met with a strange sight. It was a person that my head was currently using as a pillow. Or rather, a person's leg. A bare leg. A leg that was corded in muscle. A leg that I was sure that I had seen before. It didn't help that my head was far too close to something else that was also bare. _What the fuck?_ I jumped slightly, startled by the sight, and realized that it really hadn't been a dream.

Eric was sitting right above me, seemingly not bothered at the fact that my head in his lap. I moved slightly, grabbing the sheets and pulling them tighter around me. Maybe he had already seen me, but I couldn't bring myself to let him see me again. He, like me, also wasn't wearing any clothes. It was absolutely mortifying. He looked like he was unperturbed by the entire incident when I was having an internal crisis. Eric was staring at his tablet and paying me no mind. But I knew that he was hyper aware of me. The corners of his lips were turned up in amusement. Could last night have been real?

"Trying to figure out whether last night was real or not?" Eric asked me.

Despite looking rather awake, his voice was husky and riddled with sleep. "Yes," I whispered, nodding stupidly at him.

He still hadn't bothered to look away from his tablet. "It was." _Oh no_. What the hell had I done? "You know, you're much nicer in your sleep," he said.

Was I really? Florian used to tell me that I would kick and elbow him in my sleep. Iris had told me the same thing. So had Damien. _Damien_. I was so damned stupid. How could I have let something like that happen? I should have known who he was. I should have known that he was a bad man from the second that he had ignored my no all of those months ago. Once more, I nodded dumbly at him. I realized with an awkward start that I was still laying in his lap and I sat up slightly. His arm raised with me and I realized that it had been draped over me.

Was he really acting like nothing had happened? Perhaps that was the good thing. He was such a pig that he would act like it hadn't ever happened. I thought back to last night and found the memories easily flooding back. It had been better than anything that I had ever had. I had needed it. I was glad that it had happened, but I knew that it was over now. We had both gotten what we wanted. And now I felt stranger than the first time when I had walked into the Dauntless compound. Here I was, completely naked, laying in Eric's bed. Neither one of us said anything for a while as Eric flipped through his tablet. I felt sick to my stomach. Should I move or lay here until he told me to leave?

A few minutes went by before he dropped it on the table and he stared at me, clearly expecting me to speak. "So what happens now?" I asked softly.

The moment that it came out I wanted to punch myself. He was probably silently telling me to get out of his apartment. I couldn't have sounded more idiotic. And he knew it. Eric clearly knew that I was uncomfortable as he smirked down at me. He was sitting straight up and I was slumped over slightly. Grabbing the sheets tighter, I pulled them up a little higher on my chest. He wasn't seeing anymore of me than he already had.

He had once told me that he wouldn't drop me if he ever got the chance to sleep with me, but I knew that it was a lie. He didn't want me at all. He had already gotten the one thing that he wanted. And now it was time for me to leave. Glancing around the room, I tried to find my clothes, but I was shit out of luck. They were flung all across the room. The closest of my clothes to the bed were my pants. And they were jumbled over the couch. Eric's clothes were the same way.

"You're kidding. Try not to sound like such a girl," Eric said.

Despite being both angry and humiliated, I laughed softly. He really did have the best way of putting things. Eric laughed and shook his head at me, turning around and placing his tablet off to the side. He was right. I was acting like a girl. _Grow up. You wanted this now deal with the aftermath_. But I always had been bad with the morning after talk.

"Sit up," Eric ordered me after a beat of silence.

For whatever reason I listened to his order and sat straight up, keeping the sheet wrapped around me. He moved behind me and I tensed as he fingers brushed over my tailbone and made their way up my spine, stopping at the base of my neck. It was very hard for me not to make a noise at the touch.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Eric's hand was trailing over my neck, his thumb coming around to gently brush against my throat. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest. "Don't move," Eric said.

We weren't doing this again. Never again. "Get off of me," I snarled.

His lips gently trailed over my throat as he moved the sheet completely off of my back, barely allowing it to hide my front. "Don't stroke yourself. He popped a vertebrae slightly out of place," he told me.

My heart lodged into my throat. He really had been that close to killing me. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"You're lucky. Take a deep breath and don't move. This won't feel good," Eric said.

No part of me doubted him. I nodded and took a deep breath. That must have been why my neck was still throbbing in pain. But he was right. I was lucky. If Eric had been only a second later I would have been dead. It only took a beat before Eric's thumb pressed into the vertebrae and jammed it towards the left, popping it back into place. Thankfully he did it quickly. But he was right. It did hurt. A hell of a lot.

A searing pain shot down my spine, but almost immediately it felt like the pressure had been taken off. A few soft cries escaped my mouth and my hands shot back at the pain. My hands caught his bare thighs and, without thinking, my nails dug into his skin. He didn't protest but I did feel him tense. My nails were long. They couldn't have felt good. I let go of him quickly and sighed. My head dropped back against Eric's chest and he allowed me to stay there.

"Thank you," I breathed out softly, turning back to rest against the pillows for a second.

Eric nodded at me. "You're welcome," he said.

We were on thin ice right now and I didn't like it. Eric and I almost never stayed silent when we were together. But this was different. We had done the most intimate things that two people could do together, and it wasn't like we were just strangers who were having a one night stand. We knew each other. Better than each one of us wanted to admit. Particularly after he had gotten the chance to spend an hour with my parents and I had met his parents.

He was sitting slightly to the side of me and I blushed at his piercing stare. Like everything else, it was different this time. The way that he was looking at me was a way that he had never looked at me before. It didn't help that he still wasn't wearing anything. As much as I enjoyed looking at him like that, I wished that he would put some clothes on. Or at least cover up. It was hard to look at him like that and not want to do anything with him.

Without saying anything, Eric grabbed my face and pulled it to his. He kissed me roughly and I sighed softly into it. Maybe things were going to change between us. The kiss was possessive and I hated that I wanted more of it. This wasn't a good thing for me to be doing. I wanted to be with him, but he wasn't the type for relationships. And I couldn't forget that he worked with Jeanine. He was a dangerous man to be around. He always would be.

Eric finally pulled away from me and looked deep into my eyes. "We go on like normal," he said, referring to my earlier question about what would happen between us.

In all honesty, I couldn't have been surprised by his words. But that didn't stop me from feeling a little stab of disappointment shoot through my chest. I had hoped that maybe he would prove me wrong. But of course he wouldn't. It was Eric, after all. I would just have to pretend that it didn't bother me. He stood from the bed and I looked away while he slipped on his boxers. It made things a little easier. He waltzed into the kitchen without giving me a second look.

"But just know, you're mine now," he growled at me without looking back to where I was sitting.

A heavy blush popped up on my face and traveled down my chest. Maybe this really could be the start to something real. "Okay," I muttered, unsure of what to say.

Neither one of us would be able to rush the emotional, but maybe with time that would change. Maybe we could be a good thing. But just as my fantasies began to fill my mind I remembered the one thing that had always bothered me before we had slept together. Sarah. Eric and I still couldn't be out together in public. Three months were left in initiation. I would not be his secret. I couldn't be. I would not be the woman that he hid in his apartment while he dangled another one off of his arm. I couldn't be out in the Pit and watch her all over him.

It was bad enough even long before anything had happened in between the two of us. I turned over in his bed and kept the sheet up around myself as I reached for the first piece of clothing on the ground. Enough was enough. It was time for me to leave. I grabbed his shirt from yesterday and pulled it over my head. I was going to go to the bathroom and wash myself off before I left. And never came back. That was the important part. I stood and watched as the shirt fell to my mid-thigh.

Eric wasn't even looking up to me. "I don't know why you bothered to cover up. Not like it's anything that I haven't seen before," Eric told me. I blushed once more and averted my gaze from him. He was right.

He hadn't even bothered to look over at me. "I'm not showing you again," I snapped.

"We'll see," Eric said.

It made an irritating bubble form in my chest. He was such an ass about everything. Last night neither one of us had hidden anything from the other. But that didn't mean that I was going to do so again this morning. Or ever again, despite what he thought. He had gotten what he wanted. So did I. This thing between us was over. As much as I wished that it wasn't.

"I'm going to wash off and then I'm leaving. Thanks for last night, Eric. I had fun. See you in training," I said quickly, turning back to the bathroom.

Every single time that I tried to make a move, Eric would surprise me with how fast he was. I would have thought that someone that large would be much slower. He dashed up to me and caught my arm in a vice grip. It almost hurt. It told me that he really didn't want me to leave. He actually looked a little confused at the sudden change in my demeanor.

"Where are you off to in such a rush?" Eric asked me.

He managed to keep his typical smirk on his face, very much infuriating me. He was such an ass. I knew that he was never going to let me forget about what had happened last night. He thought that just because he had slept with me I would stay his little secret. Another damned notch in his bedpost. Just like I had tried to promise myself wouldn't happen.

"Back to the dorms," I snarled.

"Why?" Eric asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"I'm not going to be your dirty little secret, Eric. I'm not someone that you can just hide and have your fun with whenever you want," I snapped.

"Who said that I wanted to hide you?" Eric asked.

It was obvious. We were breaking Dauntless rules and he still had Sarah. Why would he want to parade me around? "I think you have. More than once. You've told me that I mean nothing to you," I said, almost depressed at the thought.

Eric hesitated, staying silent for a while. "What are you getting at?" he finally asked, cleverly avoiding whether or not I meant something to him.

"Last night, it was fun. It's not happening again," I said determinedly.

He merely laughed at me. "That's a lie," he scoffed.

It was _not_ a lie. "You already have someone. I'm not going to be someone's number two. Especially not yours. Like you said, you could have anyone you wanted. So why would you settle for just one?" I asked.

A little wave of shock went through his eyes before he managed to steady his face. "You're talking about Sarah," Eric said.

"Yes."

He already had his stupid little girl. He was not going to have me too. But I couldn't help the little wave of jealousy that shot through me at the sound of her name. He could be out there in public with her. Not with me. Never with me. We weren't meant to be together. No matter what I wanted to think. First of all, we would never be able to work together. We fought far too much. But there was also the simple fact that I was not going to stroke his ego like that.

Eric merely grinned at me. "That's cute. You don't want to share," he laughed.

I huffed and turned away from him. "You're hilarious," I snarled.

I knew that he was going to tease me. "You didn't strike me as the jealous type," Eric commented as I walked away.

Irritated beyond belief, I whipped back around to him. "I'm not jealous, you ass! But I refuse to be the other woman. I'm not going to come when called to hide out here while you parade Sarah around on your arm. Last night wasn't a mistake," I said, my voice wavering slightly, "but it's not happening again."

Surprisingly Eric didn't stop me as I walked back to the corner of the apartment. He went back to the kitchen. "What do you think I did last night?" he asked.

"What?"

"After I left you?"

I didn't understand whether or not this was a trick question. He had come back here, hadn't he? He could have gone somewhere else. It was about ten minutes before he came to my rescue. "You came back here?" I asked, more than said.

He was clearly getting impatient, waiting for my answer. Eric seemed to know that I was going to say that. "No. I didn't. I went to Sarah's apartment," he said.

What the hell did he just say to me? I took in a sharp breath. "Did you really sleep with her just to sleep with me minutes later?" I asked him, feeling absolutely horrible about myself.

"You think so little of me," Eric commented dryly.

"You've given me no reason not to," I snapped harshly.

"How about this? She's just in the next hall over. I went to her and told her that it was done," he said.

A heavy weight lifted off of my chest at his words. "You ended it with her?" I asked.

"Yes."

He had ended it with her. Did he want to be with me? I couldn't understand him. "Why?" I asked.

"Because I knew what would happen when we were in here together. I know the kind of person that you are. I knew that it wouldn't mean anything if I was still with her."

For a long time the two of us were silent. We were both just staring at each other. "What does that mean?" I asked softly.

"Do you remember that night in Defying?" he asked.

It was the restaurant that I had gone to with Damien. A bone-chilling shiver shot up my spine at the memory. I had thought that he was a good guy. "Yes," I whispered softly.

"I brought Sarah because I knew it would make you jealous. I kept her around because I knew it would bother you. But last night I knew. I finally had you. And that meant that I didn't need her anymore. So I went and told her that it was over. I was walking back to my apartment. That's when I heard you scream," Eric explained.

"Oh," I said dumbly.

The second that it came out of my mouth, I knew that it was the least intelligent thing that I could have possibly said. Even staying silent would have been a better option at that point. Did this mean that he wanted to be with me? I couldn't get a good read at him. I never could. It was one of the many things about him that bothered me.

"Thank you... For saving me."

We stared at each other for a moment as Eric nodded at me. "You're welcome," he said.

"So tell me. Why did you do it? Do you want to be with me?" I asked. Eric was staring at me but not saying a word. It made heat rush to my cheeks. "Come on, don't make me look stupid. I don't get you, Eric. I don't know what you want."

He seemed to have finally snapped out of it as he turned away from me to fill up his coffee maker with coffee grinds. I wanted to cry. Or maybe scream. Probably both. All I wanted was for him to give me a straight answer and not leave me standing here like some blubbering fool. But he wouldn't. If I really wanted to be with Eric, I would have to learn to deal with him like that. Finally Eric turned back to me, staring at me with dark eyes.

"Well?" I asked.

"You. I want you," he answered lowly.

We were silent for a moment as my breath came in short gasps. I knew that he wanted me. I wanted him too. But I had to know exactly how he wanted me. He had to tell me one last thing. I knew that I was pushing him further than he was comfortable with, but I was uncomfortable too. This was the strangest way that I had ever started a relationship before. If that was even what this was.

"That must have taken a lot to admit," I said softly.

Eric laughed and I couldn't help but to smile into my lap. "It did," he muttered.

We both knew that it was true. "But are you sure that it's me you want? Do you want me or do you want me in your bed? Those are two very different things," I told him.

He stayed silent for a little while, never once looking away from my eyes. If there was ever anything that I had to credit Eric with it was the fact that he never backed down. Not even when it was a topic that he didn't want to think about. I tried to keep any emotion out of my eyes as I waited for his answer. Eric didn't like weakness and I didn't like being weak. Not for him. Not for anyone. Particularly not in the precarious position that we were in right now.

"I don't know," Eric finally answered.

I appreciated his honesty, even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear. But it was better than I had expected. And it was better that he told the truth than lied to me. "Are you willing to find out?" I asked, quieter than I had meant to.

This was absolutely ridiculous. I couldn't believe that I had actually asked him that. In our brief stare down I had walked to stand directly in front of him. My heart was pounding in my chest and I wondered if he could hear it. The emotions were conflicting in his eyes and I knew that he was having a problem admitting it. He wanted to be tough and didn't want to admit to me how he felt. It was exactly what I had expected. After what seemed like an hour he finally nodded at me. I couldn't help the large smile that snuck its way onto my face.

To say that I was surprised would have been an understatement. "Alright then," I said awkwardly.

Now that we had gotten that out of the way, I wasn't unsure of what I should say. But thankfully, Eric did know. He grabbed my arm and pushed me back against the counter. He caught my mouth in a deep kiss and I tilted my head backwards, letting him put a hand underneath my neck, keeping me against him. I groaned softly into his mouth as his hands came around to my waist and kept our hips roughly together. My heart was hammering in my chest. No matter what happened between the two of us, I would always be excited to be pressed against him.

As strange as it was, I enjoyed this more than I did last night. Instead of rushing to undress each other in a frenzy we were relaxed. Well, somewhat relaxed. Here he was, wearing his boxers and nothing else with his hair mussed slightly. And here I was, dressed only in his shirt with my hair knotted from Eric tangling his hands in it last night. We were standing in his kitchen, kissing each other like we were in a real relationship. Maybe one day we actually would be in a real relationship. Whatever this was, it was the halfway point. And I could deal with that for now.

Eric's arms ran around the back of my waist to keep me flush against him. Our mouths tangled together as he pushed me back roughly against the counter. His kisses always said the same thing. _I'm in charge_. But tonight I was going to show him that he wasn't always in charge. His hands grabbed at the bottom of the shirt that I was wearing and pulled it up, trying to take it off. I grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

"I don't think so," I purred.

After all that he had put me through I was more than happy to tease him a few times. He had it coming. He scoffed at me and bit my lower lip roughly before stomping away. I grinned brightly and watched as he walked away. I followed him over to the coffee maker and poured myself a cup. I felt a bit strange as he stood against his counter, sipping the drink. I was standing in Eric's kitchen and wearing his shirt. Maybe this was a little more like a real relationship than I thought that it was. I grabbed the mug tightly before hopping up onto his counter and settling back.

"I hope you know I'm not going to take it easy on you," Eric told me.

I laughed at him. That much was obvious. He'd probably make it worse. Smiling at him, I took another sip of my coffee. "I wouldn't want it any other way," I told him, my voice deeper than normal.

"Don't worry. I never would," he said, grabbing roughly at my hips.

He knew the hidden meaning to my words. And that was exactly the way that I had intended it. He moved back to stand in front of me and moved in to kiss me. I waited until he was directly in front of me before moving the mug up in front of my lips to cut him off. He rolled his eyes at my childish antics and called me a few choice curses as he moved away. I merely grinned. He was about to find out just how annoying I really was. As he walked back towards his bed there was a sudden itching in the back of my mind. He had never kicked me out.

"I have to ask you something," I said, making Eric look at me. "You didn't kick me out last night. Why?"

Eric cocked his head at me, not understanding what I was talking about. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You don't exactly seem like the type of guy to let girls stay the night," I said.

He laughed at my words, telling me that I was right. He wasn't the type to let girls stay in his bed. So why was I any different? Or maybe I wasn't. Maybe we had just fallen asleep. "You're right. I'm not," he said.

I hadn't thought so. "Why did you let me stay?" I asked.

"Because I wasn't about to let you go back to the dorms. The last thing you needed was being near any of them." I knew that he meant Jade, Colt, and Hunter. Still, I wished that he had let me stay just because he wanted me to. "You're the first person I've ever let stay in my bed," he muttered.

My head turned to him and my cheeks warmed slightly at his statement. I had never thought that I might be the first person that he had ever let sleep in his bed. I figured that from time to time he must have just fallen asleep with whatever girl he was sleeping with. But I was the first one. It seemed a little strange to me. Not that it should have. I had only let one person ever sleep in my bed. Florian, who had always been kicked out before the morning came. Unless Iris and a few other female friends counted. But I didn't have sex with them.

This time when he crossed the room and came to stand in front of me, I leaned over and kissed him. My hands wound their way around his neck as his hands pressed with a bruising force on my hips. He was not a nice kisser. He wasn't nice about anything in bed. But it was the way that I liked it. He hummed against my lip as I toyed with the string on his boxers. We may have settled one thing between us, but there was still one more thing to address.

"So now we have a problem on our hands," I said against Eric's lips.

He pulled back and raised his brow. "What?" Eric asked me.

I knew that he wouldn't understand what I was talking about. "What tattoo should I give you?" I asked him sweetly.

He scoffed, tightening his hands around my thighs so much that it was almost painful. He clearly hadn't been thinking about the bet last night. Of course, neither had I. "What are you talking about? I won the bet. You kissed me first," he argued.

"Like hell you did!" I snapped. Eric scowled at me. "You invited me back here. I won the bet."

That was the bet. Whoever made the first move won. That made it my right to put a tattoo on him. "You did not," Eric argued.

"The minute you invited me to your apartment was me winning the bet," I said proudly.

Eric leaned into me and pressed my back against the cabinets hovering behind me. He was trying to intimidate me and I hated to admit that it was working. Eric didn't scare me as much as he used to, but from time to time he still did. I knew what he was capable of. A lot more than I was comfortable with.

"I believe the bet was the person that physically made the first move. And that was you. You grabbed me and you kissed me," he told me with the same shit-eating grin I had given him a moment before.

Was he right? No way. He made the first move. He just didn't want to admit it. "Oh that's such shit. I won and you know it," I huffed at him.

"No you didn't," Eric said.

"Yes I did."

"No."

"Yes!"

"You did not, Amity."

We glared at each other for a few minutes, neither of us budging. We kind of gave in at the same time. "Or maybe neither of us won," I said begrudgingly.

All I wanted was to put a butterfly on his ass. But Eric would kill me if I put a butterfly anywhere on him. "Tell you what. If we both lost the bet like you say, we both owe each other tattoos," Eric said.

That sounded fair. "Keeps us from doing anything too terrible to the other," I muttered.

"I'd be careful what you decide to put on me," he growled. I knew that if I put anything bad on Eric, he would make it ten times worse for me. "Do we have a deal?"

It sounded fair enough to me. "We have a deal," I said.

"I'll think about what I want to do," Eric teased.

He was leaning up against the counter next to me and I smiled. Even while I was up on the counter he was still a little bit taller than me. "Damn. I was so looking forward to a nice butterfly tattoo on your ass," I laughed.

Eric laughed with me as he stole the coffee mug out of my hands and drank the rest of it. "That'd just be your excuse to look at my ass," Eric said, making me bark out an ugly laugh.

"Eric?" I asked. He hummed in response, still looking down at the cup. "What's going to happen with Damien and Colt?"

I had no idea what had happened to them. They both looked half dead when Eric had taken me from the room. And if they weren't dead, I had no idea what was going to happen to them. Maybe someone would kill them. Would they be thrown out? Or would nothing be done to them? Eric stiffened at my question and I almost immediately regretted asking.

"They aren't dead if that's what you mean," Eric snarled.

Some part of me was glad that they weren't dead. A very tiny part. "I meant what's going to happen now," I said.

"I've been talking with Max and Four all morning. There's no proof of what happened to you." I scoffed loudly. "No solid proof," Eric corrected himself. "Max can't do anything and neither can I. Not on trial at least. I can't throw them out of Dauntless but their punishment lies with Four and me. We've decided that Colt will be dropped to the bottom of the ranking board. It will be hard for him to rise back above the red line. I intend to see him gone from this Faction. We don't want people like him. He will be put into isolation like Hunter. You will only train with him and eat meals together." Only two more months before I could be rid of Colt forever. "Roberts is being sent to full-time Fence duty. Max approved the transfer request an hour ago."

Despite the fact that I was angry that more hadn't been done, I understood that Max couldn't take sides. Eric was right. There was no solid proof of what had happened to me. But I couldn't help but to wonder if Max might not want to do anything because of what I was. The thought made my blood boil.

"Well thank you for doing as much as you can. Four too," I told Eric.

I probably should have said something about Max but I couldn't bring myself to. He was working with Jeanine. But so was Eric. It made my insides twist painfully. I was in way too far over my head. "I'd do more if I could," he said.

"I know. What is full-time Fence duty?" I asked, trying to keep my mind off of anything to do with Divergent's.

"Roberts is going to die at the Fence," Eric answered quickly.

My eyebrows rose at his words and I had to suppress a shiver. His voice held no emotion. Having someone die was just another day on the job for him. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"Full-time Fence duty is for those accused of crimes when Dauntless is unable to prove them guilty. So they put them on the Fence. They live there in barracks. If he proves himself hostile or unwilling to work he'll be executed. If not, he'll work there until the day he dies. The only time he'll be able to come back to the compound is on Visiting Day. You'll never see him again," Eric said.

The last part of his explanation held a possessive tone. At least I wouldn't have a constant reminder of what a fool I had been walking around the compound all of the time. "What if the person is innocent?" I asked Eric.

He said nothing as he walked over to the pot that was on his stove. I sighed at the look on his face. There was my answer. It didn't matter. If you were sent out there you stayed out there. Guilty or not. At least I was positive that Damien was guilty. Eric grabbed a plate of eggs and handed it to me. I took it and nearly laughed.

"A gourmet chef too," I teased.

Every second that I was here Eric surprised me more and more. "There are things about me that might surprise you," Eric said.

He went to sit on one of the stools on the other side of the counter. We ate in silence for a while, before another thought popped into my mind. "How does Phase Two of initiation work?" I asked, interrupting Eric from thumbing through his tablet.

He glanced up at me from over the tablet with a little glare on his face. "Don't think that I'm going to tell you how everything works now," he growled at me.

"Of course not," I said with a little smile.

"You'll be with Four almost all of the time during Phase Two. The only time I'll be there is if Four has prior engagements. Usually it's only a day or two," Eric said.

I couldn't help but to feel a little mix of both relief and disappointment. I would miss seeing him every day, as surprising as that thought might have been, but, in another way, I was glad that he wouldn't be around. Tori had once told me that most Divergent's got caught during Phase Two. I had a feeling that Four would be more lenient than Eric. He might actually help me.

"He'll give you a serum to put you in a sim. It will show you a fear of yours. Every day for two months you'll face them and learn to conquer them. The average person has between ten and fifteen fears," he said.

A pit formed in the bottom of my stomach at his words. Ten to fifteen fears. I couldn't even think of one of my own and I wasn't sure that I wanted a serum picking around my brain to figure them out. I had a feeling that any fear I had would be a dead giveaway about who I was. I really hoped that Four couldn't see my fears.

"That's a lot of fears," I muttered.

"Sometimes more," Eric put in.

"How many did you have?" I asked Eric curiously. He didn't answer me.

After a few minutes, Eric spoke up once more. "They change," he said. Of course they changed. When I was a kid I was terrified of the trains. They looked like steel monsters to me. Now that I was Dauntless, I loved them. "The fears that you have now might not be the same as the fears you have a year from now. You'll have to slow down your heart rate to get out of the sim. Solve the problem. It normally takes initiates twenty minutes or so their first few times."

Twenty minutes once a day didn't sound too bad to me. Although when facing your deepest fears, twenty minutes might feel like two hours. "Alright. I think I can handle that," I said.

I didn't want Eric to think that I was weak, but I wasn't really sure that I could. I didn't want to reveal myself to anyone. Even Four. I glanced up to the clock in the corner of the room and jumped up. It was already mid-morning. _Heather._ She was probably tearing her hair out worrying about what had happened to me last night. I had to go to her. Besides, there were things that I had to tell her about. I jumped off of the counter and walked around the room, picking up my scattered clothing. Eric was watching my every move closely. Once I had them all in hand I walked over to the bed and dropped them near where he was sitting.

"Turn around," I ordered him.

The incredulous look on his face was enough to make anyone else laugh. But not me. I was dead serious. "You're kidding right?" he asked me with a bored voice.

I knew that he wouldn't like that. "No I'm not kidding," I said.

I waited for him to turn to look away from me. We weren't quite to the point where I wanted to dress in front of him. "You do realize I've seen it all before," he snapped.

I blushed and shrugged my shoulders. "Don't care. Turn around," I ordered.

He merely shook his head and came to stand in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest. I waited for him to make a move and, when he did, I certainly wasn't expecting it. He tore the shirt over my head and threw it away before grabbing me and tossing me down onto the bed, giving me no chance to argue against it. The sudden blast of cold air made my back arch and my entire body convulse with a shiver.

"Eric!" I yelled.

All I wanted was to get under the damned blanket. It was freezing in here now. But his body was warm as he climbed on top of me, pinning me against the bed. His lips found my own and I groaned into the kiss. He was pressing me so hard into the bed that I thought that I might slip into it. I wanted him more than anything, but there were things that I had to do. As he moved his hands over my body, reaching lower and lower, I shook my head and pushed him off.

"Later, big guy," I told Eric as I detached my lips from his. "I've got things to do."

His hands had been in the middle of pushing my legs apart as his hand dropped, brushing my inner thigh softly. I shivered but refused to let him show that the accidental movement had affected me. I closed my legs as much as I could with Eric leaning over me. His eyes were dark and his mouth was set in a thin line.

"Yeah. Me," he responded.

"No. Not you."

"What the hell do you have to do?" he snapped.

I hadn't thought that he would like being told no. Rolling my eyes, I pushed him off. Getting to Heather was the priority. No matter how much I would have liked to stay with him. "Tell my friends that I'm not dead," I snapped at Eric.

He scoffed and didn't bother to move, keeping his weight down on me. "It's not that important," he said.

"Come on Eric, please? I'll come back later," I promised.

I saw the brief flash of amusement shoot through his eyes. "You will, huh?" he teased.

"I will. And don't you have work to do? I swear, you're a leader and you do absolutely nothing," I said.

"Now that's not true."

"Yes it is."

"There's plenty of things that I do. Keeping you alive," Eric teased, making me laugh.

It was true. As stupid as it was, I had no idea what it was that Eric really spent his days doing. What I might be doing one day if I could raise my ranking a few spots. He scoffed at my comment and moved back. Not enough that I could move. So I spread out my arms and sunk into the bed for a moment. If nothing else, this was enough to make me want to stay in his bed forever. It was so much softer than my own.

"Also, your bed is unfair. Even my bed back in Amity wasn't this soft. Now that you've gotten me in your bed you might not get me out," I said with a wink.

He gave me a sleazy smirk. "I don't mind that," he said. I couldn't help but to smile. That was probably one of the sweetest things that he had ever told me. "You can stay as long as you like as long as you let me do what I want."

I couldn't help but to roll my eyes at him. There went the somewhat sweet part of him. "Yeah. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I asked.

"I would. As for taking the day off, it's part of the benefits of the job. I can take days off and as long as I need to get things done," he said. I rolled my eyes once more.

"That's not fair," I mumbled.

"Life's not fair. Go. Do whatever it is you need to do. And don't you dare go telling your friends about this. I will throw you off the Chasm," he hissed.

 _Of course_. "I don't have a doubt in my mind about that," I told him honestly. But I also didn't bother to tell him that the first thing that I was going to do once I left here was tell Heather everything that happened. "Don't worry about it. I'm not stupid. I don't want to get kicked out because of you."

He merely smirked as I swung out from underneath his leg and grabbed my clothes in hand, changing back into them. Despite the fact that they were normal day clothes, I felt like I was going to be doing to walk of shame. Eric watched my every movement through lidded eyes. Once I got my shirt back on I turned back to Eric and moved closer to him, leaving just a little gap.

"I'll be back later," I said.

He nodded at me, keeping an even look on his face. He was wonderful at disguising his emotions. I turned to leave, but before I could take a step, I heard Eric speak. "Just know, I still don't like you, _Amity_ ," Eric sneered, accentuating Amity.

I turned back to see that he had an even look on his face, but there was a playfulness in his eyes. _Two can play at that game_. "Good. Then we're on the same page, _Erudite_ ," I snarled back at him, knowing that it would push his buttons.

Eric took a step forward and closed the gap between us. He shoved me back against the wall and captured my mouth with his. It was the same possessive kiss that he had used before, making my knees go weak. He knew what he was doing. I smiled into the kiss and ran my fingers up his spine and through his hair. It was softer than I was expecting. But I liked it. I gave a gentle tug and he growled deep in his throat, moving his fingers to the waistband of my pants.

Before he could take it any further I broke the kiss and slipped away from him. His eyes were dark as he glared at me. Clearly he had been hoping that I would forget why I wanted to leave. But I was determined to let Heather know where I had been last night and what had happened. I gave Eric a quick wink before turning to the door to leave. I only made it two steps before a sharp pain shot through my backside.

"Ow!" I yelled, turning back to Eric. He was tossing a towel over his shoulder with a mad grin on his face. He had smacked it against my ass in retaliation. "Asshole. Stop messing with me. Do your fucking job."

As I walked through the doorway to leave his apartment I heard him laughing behind me. I grit my teeth and forced myself not to go back and slap him. But still I couldn't help but to grin slightly as I walked out into the hallway. There wasn't very often that I saw the genuinely playful attitude from him. Usually it was dangerous and playful.

A Dauntless man was walking through the halls and he gave a little start as he realized which apartment I had just come out of. I smiled bashfully at him and the man smiled back at me, looking a little concerned for my well-being. I sighed and quickly headed back to the dorms. I took the shortcut through the Pit and the Chasm, neither of which had many people hanging around. Most people must have still been asleep. Today was one of the few days that most people got off of work. I walked through the secluded hallway that led to the dorms and went in. Everyone was asleep, bar Cole. Colt was nowhere to be found.

Cole glanced over at me and his eyes widened. He hadn't seen me since training yesterday, when I disappeared without a trace. I felt bad about it. I should have said something to them. But my mind had been in a completely different place. He was about to walk up to me when I glanced over and spotted Heather fast asleep in her bed.

"Hey, Cole," I said softly.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"I'll explain everything later, okay?"

"Okay."

I began to pull my clothes off, considering I had been in them for far too long. Cole was respectful enough to turn and pretend to do something else as I grabbed clothes for the day. I grabbed a pair of black shorts and buttoned them up, along with a looser dark gray tank top and pulled that over my head. I went to put my boots back on but, for once, I was allowed to be a little casual. So I stayed barefoot. Another leftover trait from Amity.

"Heather!" I yelled, slightly louder than I had meant to.

Everyone shot up in their beds and Heather went tumbling to the floor. All eyes were on me, looking very panicked. Heather looked like she had seen a ghost. They had all been wondering where I'd gone yesterday. "Alex?" Heather asked weakly.

"Uh, sorry guys. Go back to bed. Heather, come with me," I told them meekly.

Heather opened her mouth to say something but I didn't give her the chance. We had to talk in private. I grabbed her hand, thankful that she had been wearing pants. I yanked her off of the floor and pushed her out through the door. A few people yelled behind us but I ignored them. We walked through the halls, getting a few strange looks along the way. Probably because of Heather. She was stuttering and complaining about how I couldn't even give her a second to get changed.

She would get her chance later. I walked us through the back of the compound near the loading bay, where I knew that no one would be. We headed over to the net and I pulled myself up and over, falling into it. I nearly laughed. I would have never been able to do that five months ago. I gave Heather my hand and she used it to help herself up onto the net, landing near me.

Heather only took a moment to compose herself before tackling me into a hug. We went sprawling back, me on my knees, as she embraced me tightly. I was a little stunned at the sudden action. I knew that Heather loved me, but I had never thought that she would be this concerned with me.

"Oh my God. What the hell is wrong with you?" Heather snapped.

For a moment I thought that she was going to slap me. I would have deserved it. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I thought you were dead! You have no idea how hard it was keeping your secret and not knowing what had happened to you. Four kept asking me where you were and I kept having to lie to him and everyone else!"

Why did Four care where I was? He was my trainer and responsible for my whereabouts. "I'm sorry, Heather," I muttered.

"I thought that you were just going to Erudite. But you never came back," she said, softer this time.

A little pang shot through me. Her eyes were watering. I should have told her what was going on. I would have gone ape shit insane if she had done the same thing to me. "I'm sorry, Heather. I'm so sorry. I had a weird day," I told her pathetically.

The scowl never once faded from her face. She had to know everything. "That's a good excuse," she growled.

"I need to tell you everything that happened yesterday. It's a lot, so get comfortable," I said.

She nodded with hard eyes and leaned back, gripping the rope of the cross-sectioned net. I took a deep breath and launched into the story of one of the strangest days of my life. I told her about the trip to Erudite but skewered the details, telling her that I was there at personal request of Jeanine Matthews. I was glad that Heather didn't press the issue. I told her that Eric was in the train car and that he had cornered me. I told her that Eric had coerced me into coming back to his apartment that night. It was easy to see that Heather's eyes brightened at this. She was rooting for Eric and I to get together.

As I went through the story of my Erudite visit I made sure to exclude the part about it being Eric's original Faction and his parents. That was his past to tell. I told her about getting back to Dauntless and heading to Damien's apartment to end things. I told Heather about how Colt is Damien's brother, transfers from Erudite that had been planning my demise for weeks. My voice dropped as I told her about their plan to kill me and make it appear as a suicide. Heather looked horrified as she grabbed my hands tightly. I told Heather about how Eric had saved my life and how we had gone back to his apartment and stayed there for the night.

My entire story had taken forever to get through and not once had her attention faltered off of me. Finally, when I had finished my story, Heather managed to get the heartbroken look off of her face as she took a moment to compose herself. I could only imagine what she would have thought if I had told her about Jeanine's plan to use me for something for the war against Divergent's.

"Oh my God. Remind me to thank Eric the next time that I see him," she told me softly.

"Don't worry, I already said it."

"I'm so glad that you're alright. I hope they both get kicked out of Dauntless. Or executed. Or worse." Had I not been thinking about what had happened to me last night I would have laughed. "Alex I'm so glad that you're alright. Seriously. I love you," she said.

She was the best person that I could have asked for. "Thanks, Heather. I love you too. You have no idea how scared I was. I really thought that I was going to die. They're not going to be executed," I said.

"Why not?"

"No solid proof. I wish they were. Eric and Four moved Colt to the bottom of the leader board. Eric thinks that he won't be able to bring his ranking up by the end of initiation. He'll be Factionless." Her eyes brightened at this. "And Eric got Max to transfer Damien to full-time Fence duty. He'll live there. He won't ever come back to the compound," I explained.

I flopped back into the net and Heather followed me a moment later. The sun was warm and beating down on us from the break in the ceiling above and I smiled. "Good. For all of Eric's faults he did a good job," she said.

She had no idea just how much of a job he had actually done on them. "I'd be dead without him, so, yeah," I muttered.

"I just wish that he would have killed them," she snarled. As pissed as I was with those two, I didn't want to see them dead. Factionless was good. "Well then, I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"So what happened? Eric just let you sleep on his couch?" she asked.

I forced the blush down. I had to tell her. She would kill me if I didn't tell her that Eric and I had slept together. "That's the other thing that I have to tell you. I couldn't find anything to say to him. He was in between yelling at me and asking me what the hell I was even doing with him in the first place. He just wanted me to say something but I couldn't. He said my name. He actually called me Alex. I couldn't believe it." I still couldn't believe it. Heather's jaw dropped in shock. "But, uh, I didn't sleep on his couch," I said awkwardly, keeping my voice as low as possible.

Part of me didn't want to have to tell her but I knew that I did. I was just glad that I didn't have to say it out loud. Heather was a smart girl, she would figure it out on her own. It wouldn't take her long. I could see the gears turning in her head and the dots connecting quickly. A curious look crossed over her face and she began to mutter slowly.

"No. You slept in his bed. You slept with Eric. You slept with Eric!" Heather yelled with a thrilled look on her face.

"Shut up!"

"Oh my God. You slept with him! You actually slept with him!" Heather continued to yell.

She was laughing hysterically and tears were building in her eyes. Heat was rising in my face. "Yes, I did. Now knock it off!"

"Oh God, tell me everything! Don't you dare leave any details out," Heather pressed.

She had jumped up to sit on her knees. I merely rolled my eyes and covered my face with my arms. I didn't want to see the look on her face when I told her everything. I obliged and told her every detail about what had happened between Eric and I last night. Every time I said something new I would peek out from behind my arms and see that her eyes had brightened. That was the thing about girls. We could give each other excruciatingly detailed recounts of our sex lives and never think that it was anything strange.

"So this morning we decided to give it a try. I mean, I'm not really sure whether or not we're actually dating. I don't think we are. But we're kind of together. If that makes any sense," I said.

"It doesn't," Heather teased.

We both laughed. "I know. He broke things off with Sarah because he knew that I wouldn't want anything to do with him if he didn't," I added, almost forgetting that part.

Heather smiled slightly as we both laid over the edge of the net. I wished that we could be out in the sun more often. It was one of the few things that I missed about Amity. The warm and inviting air. "That's surprisingly sweet of him," she said.

"It definitely surprised me."

"Alex, this is great! You and Eric are about as close to being together as the two of you can get," she told me.

I laughed at her. She was right about that. "We're never going to be those kinds of people. This is as close to a relationship as we can get. But that's okay," I said.

"That's so great though. You've gotta let me know how that turns out," Heather teased.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Sure thing," I groaned.

"So, tell me, what was it like?" she asked curiously.

I didn't blame her. If she had told me that she had slept with Four I would want to know how it went. They were guys that were so strangely secretive that it was almost impossible to think about what they were like in bed.

"It was great. Honestly, it was the best I've ever had," I said, blushing softly. He really was. "I mean he wasn't nice about it. He was rough and he was possessive. But it was exactly what I was expecting. And I was so happy that it happened. Seriously, it was great. I never wanted to stop. And neither did he. He was trying to get me to do it again before I left. But I had to go. I had to talk to you."

She merely gave me a devilish smirk. "Well I would have excused you if you really wanted to go round two," Heather teased. We both laughed loudly. I was starting to regret not going round two with him. "I won't say anything about it."

"Thanks. What we're doing is still against the rules."

That was the reason that I was telling her this. I trusted her just the way that I knew that she trusted me. "Just let me know if he hurts you," she said, cracking her knuckles.

A soft smile fought its way onto my lips. Eric would flatten her in a second. But Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. "He will," I answered, slightly bitterly.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Eric would hurt me. Maybe over something between us or maybe because of the Divergence. But I knew that Eric would hurt me. It was clear that Heather didn't like what I had said. She grabbed my hands as she leaned up a little bit to look me in the eyes. She was shaking her head desperately at me.

"Alex, don't say that," she practically pleaded with me. I felt my heart breaking. She didn't understand. Eric was dangerous. He was dangerous for me. "He cares about you. More than it seems like he cares about anyone else."

She was right. But Jeanine wasn't going to care when she orders him to capture me. "I know he does, Heather. He wouldn't have let me sleep in his bed last night if he didn't at least care about me a little bit." I wanted her to know about the Divergence but I knew that it was a bad idea. This was my battle. Not hers. "But I don't doubt that at some point Eric is going to hurt me. I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic," I said.

"Well fuck that," Heather snapped.

I jumped slightly as I sat up. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I think that Eric might just prove you wrong. And I hope he does," she said.

"I hope he does too."

"He's a good man. I know that he is, under that tough demeanor. And it sounds like you're already on your way. It'll take a long time, but you guys will make it. I believe in you."

She was right. We could make it. But that meant that I had to work on this first. I had to beat Jeanine to the punch and I had to get Eric on my side. But how did I break the news that I was Divergent? They were questions for another time. I brushed those thoughts from my mind and grabbed Heather for a hug. She was always the type of person to talk to when I needed it.

"Thank you. I needed to hear that," I said.

"Of course. They're saying goodbye to Raven and Skylar. Wanna go?" Heather asked.

My heart dropped at the mention of the two girls leaving. I hadn't even remembered that they had to leave today. I was sad to see them go. They were both good girls. And I hated thinking that they were going to have to live as Factionless. I would have rather seen Hunter, Jade, and Colt go.

"Not really. But we should. Come on," I told her softly.

Heather nodded and we both flipped over ourselves, out of the net before dropping in crouches to the ground. I remembered with a fond smile that five months ago I had practically needed to be pulled out of the net by Four. Or as I had cleverly called him, Net Guy. We made the short trip to the loading bay to where all of my friends were standing with Raven and Skylar. It was easy to see that Jet was hanging on tightly to Raven. I walked up to the two girls, keeping my voice soft.

"Skylar, Raven? It was really great to meet the both of you and I'm sorry that this happened to you. I wish you could stay. But you're both tough and you'll make it," I told them honestly.

They might not have been tough enough to make it in Dauntless but I knew that Factionless life wouldn't be too bad for them. They were strong girls. It wouldn't be a problem. I just wish that they could have stayed with us. I hated that Dauntless kicked initiates out. It wasn't fair. But that was the way that life was.

"Thanks, Alex," Skylar told me with a smile. "I'm glad that we met you too. And I'm so glad that this is working out for you. You might have been raised Amity, but you're Dauntless to the core."

She wasn't wrong. But she sort of was. I was almost everything. "I appreciate that," I said.

"Oh, and if by some chance I ever see Colt, Jade, or Hunter out there, I'll say hi for you," she said with a grin.

I couldn't help it. I laughed loudly. "Thank you."

It was good to see her in high spirits even after being told that she was going to have to live Factionless. I grabbed Skylar and gave her a hug. Skylar kissed my cheek as she backed away and her place was taken by Raven, whom I hugged tightly. I had never spoken much with Raven but she had always seemed like a nice girl to me. She was better than some of the people that were getting to stay.

"It was really nice to meet you, Alex. This Faction is tough but you belong here. I'm glad that you came. Amity didn't suit you," she said.

Part of me wanted to smile at her but the other part didn't. She was just like Skylar. They were both too happy for what was happening to them. It was a good thing for them to be happy. Being depressed would only make today worse. "Thanks, Raven. I wish that you could stay here. I'm sorry that you can't. But you have Skylar and you two will do well out there. I know you will," I said.

She smiled at me. "Thank you for that," she said.

I hated that she had to leave. And I hated the look that was on Jet's face. He loved her. "And don't worry about Jet. We'll take care of him," I told her softly.

She moved in to hug more once more. "Thank you," she whispered.

Taking a step back, we watched as everyone else said their goodbyes to each other. Heather and Dante stood with me for the most part, watching the goodbyes with the same sense of guilt that I was feeling. Even though we had earned our spots here in Dauntless, it was hard to watch other people leave. People that had fought just as hard as we had. I turned and watched the Dauntless born saying goodbye to their friends too. They seemed much more emotional. These were kids that they had grown up with. They were family. It broke my heart.

I turned to look away and watch as Jet finished up his goodbye with Raven. He had taken the longest to say goodbye to her. I prided him deeply that he didn't kiss her. I would have if I were him. I grabbed Jet's arm gently and pulled him away from her. It was time for them to leave.

Jet leaned his weight on me and I let him as we watched seven friends leave the compound. Only a few were crying. Raven and Skylar looked strong as they left. Jet should be proud of her. They were walking out in a large group and my friends and I stayed with Jet until they were out of sight. Once they had finally disappeared over the road I grabbed Jet's shoulder and gently tugged him into the compound once more. It was lunch time. He didn't look happy to leave, but it was time.

As we all grabbed our food and sat in the corner, near the initiate tables, I realized that even with only seven gone, it looked extremely empty. Of course Hunter, Jade, and Colt were still nowhere to be found. Not really paying attention to what I was doing, I grabbed whatever Heather was having and followed her back to the table as we all took our seats. Heather and Cole were in their usual seats on my left. Buck was on my right and Draven, Jet, Jax, and Dante were on the other side of the table.

While everyone else tried to cheer up Jet for what we had just had to do, I was softly talking with Heather about the celebration last night. There had been some massive party to celebrate the end of Stage One of training. It sounded fun. I wished that I had been there with them. But I had gotten my own little celebration.

"Alex, where were you yesterday?" Buck asked through the soft conversations.

I was a little startled at the sudden question and hoped that I didn't look like I had been caught in a lie. "Oh, I got some news from the Erudite Medical Center," I said awkwardly.

 _Come on Alex, think. Make up a good lie_. My friends all looked worried for me. I had told them that my mother was pregnant the minute that I had gotten back that night. I had also told them that she would be going there when it was time to give birth. Heather knew that it was a lie but she still put a nervous look on her face. I was so glad for her in that moment. She wasn't going to give away my lie.

"They thought that something might be wrong with my Mom. I was there all night with them. This morning they ran more tests. She's fine," I answered quickly, hoping that it answered any plot holes. They all smiled once more. "I just got back an hour ago."

Dante was the first one to recover from my story. "We're glad to hear your Mom is alright," Dante said, placing his hand on my thigh.

"Thank you," I said softly.

Even though my story was a blatant lie I was glad to see that they all cared about more than just me. They cared about my family too. They were my family. Everyone was silent for a few minutes as we all went back to our meals. I appreciated the silence. After everything that had happened today, I realized that it was a very heavy day for everyone. We'd lost some of our own friends and family today.

"Hey does anyone know where Colt, Jade, or Hunter are?" Dante finally asked.

My head perked up. I was actually rather curious about what had happened to the three of them. Hunter was still allowed to eat lunch with us and so was Colt. But neither were here. I hadn't even seen them when we were saying goodbye to everyone. I assumed that wherever they were, Jade was too.

"I saw Colt this morning actually," Jax said.

My eyebrow popped up. "Where?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep so I took a quick walk. He was limping down to the infirmary with some Dauntless member. They both looked beaten half to hell." _Damien._ Everyone looked shocked. Heather was the only one that didn't."I helped them down and asked what happened. They didn't say anything though. Just said that some guy jumped them near the Chasm. I guess Jade and Hunter are with him," Jax said.

It was a damned lie. I was curious why Colt hadn't told the truth, but I assumed that it was because Colt was now terrified of Eric. Or maybe he was afraid of accidentally condemning himself by admitting that he'd tried to kill me. All I knew was that he had to be scared of Eric now. I was scared of him too. We all were. Anyone with half of a brain was.

"Jesus. I hate them but I can't believe that someone would just jump them," Draven said softly.

I wanted to scream at him, to tell him that they had both deserved it. To tell them that they had tried to kill me. But I didn't. I stared awkwardly down at my plate, mirroring Heather. We were the two that knew the entire truth. We both knew that Colt had deserved it and that he had lied.

"Maybe they had it coming. I mean Colt isn't exactly the most friendly," Draven said.

He had no idea how right he was. "I'd do it if I got the chance," I muttered.

"We all know that you would," Cole teased.

I merely stayed silent and didn't bother to tell them that Colt and Damien had had it coming. That would open up a whole other can of worms. I went back to eating my food and talking with Jax and Heather about the upcoming stage of training. Heather seemed to be extremely nervous. Jax didn't sound nervous but I knew that he was. Everyone was. No one knew exactly what was coming. The sim for each person was different. It wasn't like one person could go through it and then explain what was coming to everyone else.

"Hey, you guys," Cole's voice broke over the group. Everyone looked up to see what he was talking about. "Looks like Eric had a good night last night."

There was a little smirk on his face. I immediately stiffened. What the hell did that mean? Did he know that something had happened? Of course not. There would have been screams from all over the table and I'd probably be dead. I looked over to see that Eric was talking with Zeke, Four, and Cameron. Eric looked less than thrilled to be talking with them all. I fought the blush that came to my face as I remembered him, without clothing, climbing on top of me last night. I searched all over his body with my eyes before I saw it. Nail marks. They were on the back of his neck and were barely peeking out of his shirt. I dropped my hands into my lap and paled as my friends all began to snicker.

"Dear God, who would be crazy enough to sleep with Eric?" Jet asked.

 _Me_. But I didn't dare say that out loud. Heather's hand was tight on my thigh and I silently thanked her. I tried to drink some water to drown out their comments but my hands were shaking too badly. I nearly spilled the water on myself. Placing the water back on the table I stared at the boys and tried to put a smile on my face.

"Apparently a lot of girls here like him. I heard some of them talking about it. He takes lots of girls home but never lets them stay the night," Buck said. All of the guys laughed as both Heather's and my lips twitched slightly in amusement. He let me stay. "I heard some girl, seriously pissed off this morning. She was apparently with Eric. I guess he broke it off for another girl."

I hope none of them were looking at me as my face paled once more. My back stiffened to the point where I thought that I might break it. I had thought that Eric had just ended their relationship without reason. And I had never thought about how Sarah might feel. I hadn't cared. And now I felt shitty for never once thinking about her.

"Did they say who the girl was?" Heather asked.

I could have kissed her for asking. But I also could have slapped her. She might have just well given them the indication that it was me. But the boys, even the ones from Erudite, were morons. What else could you expect from sixteen and seventeen year old boys?

"In their words. 'Some whore.' But I can't imagine that Eric would want a sweet little girl," Buck said.

The boys laughed once more and I saw Heather's jaws grinding. "Man I wish they'd said who she was," Cole added.

"Insane. That's who," Dante laughed.

I knew that Heather wanted to say something so I grabbed her leg and shook my head at her. They were right in their own ways. If I had never seen the sides of Eric that I had had I would have been laughing right along with them. But my blood boiled at Sarah's words. How dare she call me a whore? Of course, she didn't know who I was. She probably thought that Eric had just found some new lay. It was a good thing that she didn't know who I was.

They were all laughing and I forced out a fake laugh so I didn't look too strange. I had to keep laughing. I was always the one to laugh when the joke was at Eric's expense, considering that we had constantly been barking back and forth at each other for the last few months.

"Hey, shut up! Eric is looking over here," Draven snapped.

The laughter died quickly as we all looked back down at our plates. Conversations started back up slowly, many about the second stage of training, before I dared to look back up. Eric was watching our table with narrowed eyes. I could only hope that he hadn't overheard what we had just been talking about. He gave me a quick wink before his eyes hardened once more and a glare settled over his features.

Hopefully he hadn't heard any of our comments. I grinned and looked back towards my table. As my head turned, I noticed that Four was watching me closely. A lump formed in my throat and I gulped. He knew. I wasn't sure how he knew, but he did. And I knew that he was going to say something about it tomorrow. Trying to shake that thought from my head I turned back to the conversations and sunk into them happily. Every once in a while I would notice Eric watching me but he never said anything to me and I never said anything to him. We had to act normal. For now.

Eric P.O.V.

Eric was currently bored out of his mind, speaking with some higher up Dauntless members. He had no clue what they were even talking about. This was typically Max's forte. But Max was currently on an extended trip to Erudite, leaving Eric in charge. He knew that it was something about bettering the relations between the rest of the Factions. It made Eric want to explode. The other Factions were pathetic. Especially Erudite. But, of course, they were who Dauntless worked with the most.

They were also talking about having Stage Two of initiation ready. Not that he cared. Eric typically wasn't present through it. Just for a few days. Or if the initiates were slower than usual he would split them up with Four. Eric was a leader. He had to be here but he didn't have to listen. And he wasn't. He couldn't really even focus. He was thinking about last night. He was still steaming over the Roberts brothers. He had known that they were bad news for a long time. He had even warned her. But she hadn't listened. She was stupid. They would have killed her if he hadn't come through. He should have killed them.

His mind was swarming with all sorts of things and part of them was Jeanine's proposal about the Divergent's. She had told him just yesterday when he had gone to Erudite. He didn't even really know what they were. They were just people with more than one aptitude. But Jeanine seemed to think that they were dangerous and she was a powerful figure with Eric under her control. She had warned him to watch out for the initiates during Stage Two. She was confident that one of the initiates this year was one.

Eric couldn't help but to wonder if maybe his Amity was. It might make sense with the way that her Aptitude Test story kept changing. But it couldn't be her. It couldn't. Not when Jeanine wanted them all dead. It wasn't her. In the meantime Eric would work with Jeanine. She had essentially ordered it. He had to work with her. Max hadn't given him another choice. One day he would know more. Jeanine had said she would eventually divulge more of her plans.

The trip to Erudite had just continued to make Eric curious what his Amity was doing in Erudite yesterday. She had told him it was to get her mother's medical records but he knew that it was a lie. She hadn't even known what day her mother had last been there. It made his suspicions only increase that perhaps she was one of them, but she couldn't be. If she was, she would have been stupid to walk right into Jeanine's lair. But she had never been the brightest bulb in the bunch.

It didn't matter. He would find out the truth. It was killing him that he didn't know why she was lying to him. He was always good at finding out the truth. With everyone but her. He would get it out of her. He just had to wait. He was not a patient man. But this time he had to be. There was no other way.

He had to stop thinking about Erudite. It was driving him insane the way that Jeanine felt that she needed someone else to do her bidding. So instead he thought about the night before. It was the first night that he had ever let someone sleep in his bed. At least not while he was in it too. Sarah had once slept in his bed and he was furious when he had seen her still there.

But his Amity was different. He hated that he didn't mind that she had slept in his bed. He nearly laughed when he remembered her actions in the middle of the night. She had rolled over half on top of him, who had been sleeping on his back, and take one of his legs in between hers. It was the friendliest that he had ever seen her towards him.

Eric had never been so happy to have a girl finally sleep with him. He'd had to say her name but it was well worth it. The look on her face alone was worth it. But what had happened in his bed was what made it the most worth it. He had known that she would be good in bed. And he was right. Although her nails hurt like hell. He knew that they were showing from the top of his shirt but he wore them as badges of honor. And he hoped that if she saw them she would be embarrassed.

The way that she had acted in the morning had surprised him slightly. She had seemed so vulnerable. But they had finally agreed to keep it going and see how it went. It wasn't a real relationship but it was something. And Eric felt like it was the most profound relationship that he had ever been in. He could listen to her without wanting to strangle her. At least most of the time. And he found himself not completely hating that she knew as much as she did about him. Still, he wished that she knew less.

Not even Cameron knew as much about him as she did. The speaking stopped and Eric knew that they were all done debating. He called an end to the meeting and he turned to leave. Immediately he caught her laughing loudly with her friends. She was half leaning onto the Candor transfer, Buck, and Eric ground his teeth. Whatever. She could do what she wanted. He would always show her who she really belonged to. Eric rolled his eyes and headed to his apartment. This was one of their few days off and he knew much better things that they could be doing. Contrary to what she though, Eric had work to do. He had to finish Roberts's transfer to the Fence.

"You look oddly happy. What's going on?" Cameron asked, appearing at Eric's side. If there was anything that he was good at, it was sneaking up on people.

Eric's gaze snapped over to his friend and he narrowed his eyes. He hated that he couldn't let the slightest emotion slip through his eyes without Cameron noticing. "What the hell are you talking about?" Eric asked.

It wouldn't be long before Cameron figured out what happened. He was once Erudite, too. But Eric still managed to keep a cross look on his face. Cameron's eyes narrowed as they walked into Eric's apartment. Eric wanted nothing more than to kick Cameron out but he knew that even if he said to leave, Cameron wouldn't. That was the type of man that he was.

"They might not have seen it but I did. You were keeping a closer eye on the initiates than normal. You and Four," he said.

Eric stiffened. He had noticed Four watching her closely and he didn't like it. "No we weren't," Eric snapped.

He didn't give a damn if Four knew. But he didn't want him trying to deter his Amity from him. "Sure you weren't," Cameron said. "What happened? And why were one of the transfers and Damien Roberts in the infirmary this morning?"

For a moment Eric wished that Cameron would have stayed in Erudite. Or gone to Candor. "I don't know. I don't keep track of them," Eric sneered.

"They keep insisting that they were jumped near the Chasm. But no one would do something like that. And they're afraid to say their attacker's name. Which means that they're powerful. Or someone they're scared of," Cameron reasoned.

It didn't take a genius to know that Cameron was insinuating that Eric had been the one to attack them. He might as well admit it. It would get him to finally shut up if nothing else. "They attacked her. Last night," Eric said.

Cameron's eyebrow quirked in questioning. "What do you mean?" Cameron asked.

"I was walking by Roberts's apartment and I heard her scream. They'd cornered her. Tried to kill her. The transfer wanted her dead. I guess because her fight with the other transfer got him beat half to hell and all of them dropped low on the rankings board."

Even though Cameron kept his face steady, Eric knew that he was horrified and furious. What Colt had done was cowardly. Cameron had become very fond of her in the past few weeks and Eric knew that he would hate to hear that she had been hurt, nevertheless nearly killed, by someone.

"She looked alright to me. No underlying injuries?" he asked.

"One bone out of place. I fixed it."

"Good job, man. I'm glad she's alright. I hear Roberts if getting a transfer request to full-time Fence duty."

"Couldn't risk having him here," Eric explained.

"I thought that might have something to do with you. What are you going to do with the initiate?" Cameron asked.

Eric shrugged, despite the fact that he was furious that he couldn't at least make Colt Factionless. But he would. Four had actually believed Eric. It was one of the few things that Eric had ever been able to thank Four for. They were going to make sure that there was no way that Colt could raise his ranking above the red line.

"We have no solid proof that anything happened to her. So I can't throw him out of Dauntless. But I dropped him to the lowest ranking and I'll be sure to make it as hard as possible for him to raise it. He'll be gone after Phase Two," Eric said nonchalantly.

He didn't care about the people that were only here temporarily. Like the seven initiates who had left this morning. A few months ago he had thought that the smart-mouthed Amity would be one. But now he was thrilled that she was staying. "Good. I've always thought Erudite were sketchy." Both Eric and Cameron laughed loudly. It was an old joke between the two of them since they had decided a few years ago that they would be coming to Dauntless. "But that's not why you're happy. That would be why you were pissed. Something else happened. What was it?" Cameron asked.

Eric stayed silent as they both walked over to the couch. Eric picked up a liquor bottle and held out two glasses. It wasn't often that he got the chance to drink with his oldest friend. But he did not want to talk about her with him. He knew that Cameron would pressure him to tell him what they were. And Eric didn't know.

"Eric?" Cameron pressed.

"You can leave me the hell alone about talking to her," Eric snapped, hoping to end the conversation.

Of course he should have known that his defensive attitude would only encourage Cameron. He loved to talk about things that made Eric uncomfortable. Especially when it came to her. Mostly because he was rooting for them to get together. "You did something. You told her how you felt?" he asked.

"There are no feelings," Eric said.

He didn't completely hate her. That was about the extent of his feelings towards her. "Uh-huh. Or you showed her how you felt," Cameron said with a smirk. He finally seemed to understand what had happened the night before.

Eric merely shrugged as he looked over to Cameron. He hated how well his friend could read him. "You told me to sleep with her," he said with as little emotion in his voice as he could muster. And that was pretty close to nothing.

Cameron's eyes widened slightly and his grip on his glass faltered. But he didn't drop it. He merely suppressed a laugh. "Damn man, you didn't," he said with a faint hint of shock in his voice.

"You sure?"

"You did!" Cameron yelled with a little laugh.

Eric joined in on the laughter and took a drink of the amber liquid that he had poured. "Sure did," Eric said.

Cameron joined him with a proud smirk on his face. Eric had finally done what he had wanted him to do all this time. "Cheers to that," Cameron muttered. Both men raised their glasses to each other before draining the glass. "It's good, Eric. You two are good together. You will be good together," he said more to himself. But his head quickly popped up and he glared at Eric. "Please tell me you didn't just sleep with her and kick her out."

If there was one thing that Cameron wanted in Eric's relationship with Alex, it was that they actually stayed together. Not that they just enjoyed each other's company in bed for an hour before leaving and never really speaking to each other. Eric merely laughed at his friend's plea. He knew him too well. But what Cameron didn't know was that Eric felt a strange mixture of feelings for his Amity. Certain emotions that he was sure he would never admit to her.

"I let her sleep in my bed," Eric told his friend.

Cameron's straight face fell into one of shock. Not that Eric blamed him. Cameron knew as well as anyone else that Eric never let any woman stay in his bed. "You did what?" Cameron asked.

The room was silent for a moment and Eric hated the look that Cameron was giving him. "You heard me," Eric snapped.

"You're serious?" he asked with a low voice.

"Yeah."

"Well damn. Buddy I never thought I'd see you like that with a girl," Cameron said with a little laugh.

Eric scowled and took another drink. He would never change for a girl. Not for her. Not for anyone. That was not the type of man that he was. He didn't have it in him. "I'm not like anything with her," Eric snarled under his breath.

"I don't mean that you're going to walk hand-in-hand with her down the hallway or get married or anything like that." Eric snorted. He wasn't ever going to get married. "But I think that you should be with her. Be happy with her. When initiation is over, show her off. She's hot," Eric said.

She was. "I know she is," he said.

"And from what I heard her saying to her friend, the Candor transfer, she's bendy," Cameron joked.

He waggled his eyebrows slightly and Eric laughed loudly. At least she hadn't lied to her friend. That was the truth. She was bendy. And he intended to find out just how bendy she was tonight. "I don't really know what we decided to do but she's coming back tonight," Eric said honestly.

He didn't like the idea of relationships. They sounded childish to him. And he hated thinking that one person could have control over another one's life. He hated that. "That's good," Cameron said.

"She can't keep spending the night though. Her friends will notice if she's gone," Eric said.

Cameron glanced up from his glass and raised an eyebrow. "You sure you want her sleeping in her dorm because her friends will notice. Or maybe it's because you don't want to get too close to her?" Cameron asked.

Eric scowled and downed the drink that he had in his hands. "I'm not getting close to her," Eric snarled.

Of course it was because he didn't want to get too close to her. He couldn't. "It wouldn't kill you," Cameron said.

Her sleeping in his bed was just a fluke. He couldn't let her keep doing that. No matter how much he thought that he might want it. "Well it's not happening," Eric said quickly.

Cameron let out a soft sigh. "Eric, I've known you for a long time. You're my best friend. You're my brother and I want to see you happy. And I can see it with her. You're happy. Just... Don't let her go," Cameron said.

Eric and Cameron had never been the types to have heart-to-heart conversations and when they did they were always one sided. Neither man ever wanted to confront their feelings, so when it came time to, the other one had to be the one to get it started. It was part of what made them so close.

"You're starting to sound like a damn woman," Eric growled.

"I'm not the one in a relationship," Cameron shot back.

"Or getting laid," Eric added.

Both men laughed once more and took a few more drinks. He'd probably be at the very least slightly intoxicated when she came back but Eric didn't care. He was bored with nothing to do. He had never realized just how much more fun she made his days. She annoyed the hell out of him and sometimes he really wanted to kill her. But he sure as hell didn't want her to leave. And that was what scared him. He had never found himself attached to a woman's personality as well as their mind.

They were silent for a while and drank glass after glass. But they could handle their liquor. Eric knew that when Cameron left he wouldn't have to wonder if the man had gone and accidentally pitched himself over the edge of the Chasm. He had seen it happen before, and it was sure to happen again.

"So tell me," Eric looked over at Cameron who was looking back at him with a wide smirk, "Is she as bendy as she looks?"

Alex P.O.V.

Today had been one of the best and easiest days that we had all had in a while. All day long my friends and I had teased each other relentlessly. I had laughed more today than I had since training had begun. It was needless to say that since the weight of being kicked out of Dauntless had lifted off of everyone's shoulders we all felt much more at ease. Even Jet had started to laugh a bit at our jokes. We were all glad that our bodies were no longer going to be bruised and everyone was happy to hear that Eric wouldn't be as large of a presence during training anymore.

For a long time I had sat with Jet to comfort him over the loss of Raven, but now that he was in a deep conversation with Dante I had moved off. Most of the day I had been thinking about Eric but I kept trying to push him out of my mind. I don't want to think about him right now. Instead of thinking about tonight, I was leaning over a sleeping Buck, trying to draw a mustache on him.

"Yo, Alex!" Heather yelled, breaking my concentration.

Buck sat bolt upright in his bed and smacked his face with the marker. I panicked and tossed the marker off to the side, hitting Cole with it. He grabbed it and tossed it under the bed, before Buck could realize what we had all been jumping around for. I stood quickly and smiled at Buck, who now had a huge mark across his face. I tried to fight back the laughter as Buck glared at Heather and laid down to go back to bed.

I turned back to Heather with a grin. "Yes, Heather?" I asked.

"You made me go get a tattoo after the first fights. Now after Phase One, I want you to go get a piercing with me!" she yelled.

Heather had to be joking. We had just finished with physical training. I had wanted to wait a while. "You're kidding," I groaned to her.

But I wanted to take a quick nap. There was no doubt in my mind that Eric was not going to let me get any sleep tonight. "I'm not kidding," Heather said.

"I did say that after Phase One was over I wanted a piercing that no one could use against me in a fight," I admitted.

Heather looked excitable. I knew that she didn't want to go by herself. "Exactly!"

Besides, I happened to remember something that Tori had once told me. That when Eric admitted something I had to tell her first. Now I knew exactly what she meant. Tori had known the entire time that something was going on between Eric and me. And this was the perfect opportunity to tell her.

"Alright. Come on!" I yelled.

We dashed out of the room, shouting goodbyes to the boys. They had all yelled for us to get something crazy pierced. My favorite suggestion was Buck's, who told us to put horns on our heads. If only he was standing in front of a mirror. He would get me back for it eventually. And I would retaliate with that mustache. Heather and I walked out to the Pit, laughing loudly and shoving each other around.

There was still danger waiting for me, but I missed the days of careless laughter with Heather. When my greatest worry had been whether or not Eric was going to kick me out of Dauntless. We arrived at the tattoo and piercing parlor and I dragged Heather to the back of the store, where Tori was propped up and playing on her tablet. It looked like she was talking to someone on it.

She turned back to us and waved. "Got customers, talk you later," she muttered to whoever was on the screen. She tapped it quickly and stowed it before looking back to us. "Hey, Amity!"

"Hey, Tori!" I chirped.

Tori was funny like that. And I wouldn't want her any other way. "Good to see you again. Hear you were in sixth place at the end."

"I sure was."

"Not bad girl," she said.

I smiled at her and said, "Thank you."

I intended for that ranking to go up in the next few months. "And Heather right?"

"Yep!" Heather chirped.

"Glad that you both made it. Phase Two can definitely be worse. It can be really draining but at least you aren't beat to hell," she said.

My body was thanking me for the end of physical training but I was not looking forward to what my mind would go through. Eric and Tori had told me that it would be the worst part of training. "No bruises and beatings sound good to me," Heather said happily.

"Good to hear," I joked. "I know that they replenished our credits based on the ranking that we came in and I wanted to get something done. A piercing," I said.

She had a few piercings and her hair was a little crazy, but it was always her tattoos that got me. She had them literally all over her. "We can do that," Tori said.

"Now that physical training is over I thought it would be a good time to do it. No one can grab onto it and use it against me. Can you do it?" I asked.

I needed the chance to talk to her with no one else around. "Good thing that you waited. Trust me, I was stupid when I was younger. I got the nose piercing two days before my first fight. Guy I fought punched me in the ring. I thought he was going to rip it out," she said.

Both Heather and I cringed and I grabbed the side of my nose. I could practically feel how painful it was. And judging by the look on Tori's face I assumed that she was remembering the hit. "Oh that's awful," I said, pressing my hand against my nose.

"It sure was. That's why I always recommend that no one get anything pierced during Phase One," Tori said.

"Good choice," Heather muttered.

"Anyways, yeah I can do it. I don't usually, but I swear I won't screw it up," she said. Both Heather and I laughed. "Heather you want a piercing too?"

"Yeah. The side of the nose," Heather said.

"Not a problem. Corey is right over in the next room. He can do it for you. Tell him I sent you."

"Okay," Heather said. As she walked off, she called back, "Get something that your man will like!"

"Man?" Tori asked.

At least Heather would make it less of a surprise. "I really wanted to come here and talk to you. But I wanted a piercing too. Maybe navel?" I asked Tori.

She nodded as she went to getting the piercing gun ready. It looked extremely painful. "Navel works for me. It'll look good on you. You've got the stomach for it. And I'm sure that your man will like it," she told me.

Her voice carried a little bit of a teasing lilt to it and I smiled. "I know that he will," I said.

We sat in silence for a while as Tori got the piercing gun out and set the needle up inside of it. "Stand up for a minute." I followed Tori's order and watched as she drew two dots where the bar would come out and the needle would go through. "All good. Lay back on the table and lift up your shirt," Tori ordered.

I nodded at her and plopped myself down on the table, taking a deep breath. A few days ago Lisa had told me that the navel was her most painful piercing. And she had a lot. It made me nervous. She buzzed around the room for a moment and I turned to look at her. Not that I could really entirely see her.

"Tori?" I called.

"What's up?"

"Do you remember when I came to you for my first tattoo and you told me that you wanted to be the first person to know when Eric admitted whatever it was that you thought he would admit?" I asked her quickly.

It sounded like it had come out as almost an entire word. "I do," she said.

The corners of Tori's lips pulled upwards as she grabbed a box to show me a few starter rings. There was one pretty one with a small crystal in the top and a black rose in the bottom. "That one," I pointed and Tori nodded as she pulled it out. "Anyways, I wanted to tell you, I get it now. What you meant."

My voice was soft enough so that no one could hear me. Even through Tori's braids were in her face, I could see the large smile. "Oh, do you?" she asked.

I could tell that she was going to push me to tell her what had happened between Eric and me, but she was also the type of person that would want to see if I would admit it first or if she would have to drag it out of me. It might be a combination of both. She cleaned the area around my stomach and I shivered at the sudden cold.

"Yes. I do," I told her. Tori smiled and I watched as she loaded the piercing gun. "Eric and me, I guess we finally admitted that we liked each other last night. Maybe not like but we uh, don't completely hate each other. If that makes any sense?"

"It does."

"I mean we aren't really together but we kind of are. I mean... This doesn't go past us, right?" I asked suddenly.

Tori smiled and said, "Of course not. Head back."

"We slept together yesterday. And he actually let me spend the night," I admitted.

Right as I said it, Tori's piercing gun punched out the piece of skin where the piercing would be and I yelped in pain. I hadn't been expecting it and I hadn't been expecting it to hurt that badly. How did Lisa have so many of these things? Tori merely smiled bashfully at me and pushed the ring into place, wiping away a little bit of blood.

"Sorry about that. I was going to wait but you startled me. I promise it's straight," she told me and I smiled.

We both laughed. "I trust you," I said.

"You didn't surprise me with him sleeping with you," she told me and I scoffed.

"Well that's embarrassing," I laughed.

"But he let you stay the night?" Tori asked.

A soft blush fell over my face. Apparently it was a really big deal that Eric had let me sleep in his bed. He had told me himself that I was the only person that he had ever let sleep in his bed. "Yeah. I didn't really think that he would but we just rolled over and went to bed," I said and she smiled.

I wanted to defend myself and tell her that I was tired but I figured that it would make me look even worse. "Is that so?" she asked.

"He didn't look angry this morning either so I assumed that he was fine with it. I don't want to question him on it. I don't think that he'll like that," I said softly.

Tori nodded at me. "I agree. Don't mention it to him," she said.

"It was probably just a one time thing," I muttered.

"We'll see. I'm just impressed that he didn't kick you out. He kicks all of his guests out at night. He never lets them stay," she said.

Part of me wanted to ask how many other guests he had ever had, but the other part of me told me that I wouldn't like the number. "He told me that," I said.

"But I can't say that I'm totally shocked. You're different to Eric. He likes you more than I've ever seen him like anyone else. And I can see it in you too. You like him," she told me with a bright grin.

I blushed slightly and stood to let Tori jiggle the ring slightly. There was a dull throb as it moved in my stomach but I kept calm. It really hadn't been as bad as I had thought that it would be. I was glad that Tori had done it without counting down. It would have just made me nervous. Tori let me look and I smiled. With my other tattoos and red-tipped hair, I looked good. But my Dauntless look wasn't done.

"Thanks, Tori. Looks good," I told her and she beamed. "And yeah, I do. I just don't want to do anything to screw it up. Eric isn't the type of guy for relationships so I don't really know how to take this."

The whole thing was awkward, but it was the truth. I had no idea how to approach a relationship with Eric. Tori was cleaning up her materials but she stopped and walked up to me, grabbing my hands in hers. She reminded me of an older sister and I smiled at her. I hoped that one day I would get a chance to be this way with my sister.

"My advice to you. Take it slow. Take it super slow. With the emotional stuff anyways. Let him decide when he's ready to take a step forward. I don't know a lot about Eric's life before Dauntless but I do know that he didn't have the same happy childhood that you did," she said.

Thinking back to my meeting with Eric's parents I scowled. He was never a child. He was an experiment. It made me happy that he had met my parents. I hoped that they had all been good to each other when they had walked off.

"Just take it slow. He'll appreciate it. And it looks hot by the way, the piercing. Get out of here. Show it off to Eric," she continued.

Laughing loudly I pulled Tori into a hug and waved her off. Thanking her profusely for the piercing I left the older woman to clean up her materials and headed to the front counter to pay. Heather was already there and watching as the woman took away her newly earned points for a new silver stud in her nose. It was small and I smiled. It suited Heather well.

"Hey!" Heather yelled and I waved to her. "What did you get done?"

"Navel," I said, lifting my shirt to show her the new piercing.

"Cute! I was thinking about getting one but I really liked the nose," she admitted.

She had been about to tap her nose when she stopped herself and I laughed. I assumed that it probably hurt. I told the woman my name and she nodded as she docked the points that I had just earned. Heather and I had to be the worst two at managing our points.

"I like it too. It suits you," I said.

"Thanks."

The woman waved us off with a reminder to come back for more. We laughed, seeing as we definitely would. We headed into the Pit together. "And Cole will like it too," I told Heather with a wink.

She laughed and nodded at me. "Eric will love yours," she teased.

 _He damn well better_. "I was thinking about maybe doing the nose but I really wanted a belly button piercing. Maybe next time. Or another tattoo," I said.

Tori had once told me that they were addictive and she was right. "You can come back and get the nose when I come back to do the navel," Heather said and I nodded. We shook hands with a little hint of laughter. "Hey you should go show that off to Eric."

There was a suggestive smile on her face and I blushed, smiling at her. She knew exactly what had been on my mind. "You sure about our girl day?" I asked.

"No worries, I was thinking about finding a broom closet or something for Cole and I," Heather shrugged.

I laughed loudly and threw my head back. I felt for Heather. She couldn't go to the dorms even when they were empty. There were cameras there. And she didn't know another Dauntless member to use their bedroom. At least she only had another three months before they could have a real bed. I was glad that I wasn't the only one doing things that we shouldn't have been doing.

"Just go to the corner of the Pit, no one ever heads over there," I half-joked.

She laughed and shoved me roughly as we walked down the first of the hallways that would lead us to the fork where I could go see Eric and Heather could go hunt for a secluded spot for her and Cole. "You coming back to the dorms tonight?" Heather asked.

"As much as I'd like to stay with him, I should come back to the dorms. I need a good night's sleep for the first day of mental training," I said.

"Alright, I'll let them know you headed out with the Dauntless born for a little while," Heather told me.

She turned back to leave and I smiled after her. "You're an angel, Heather!" I called loudly after her.

She laughed and turned back to me with a quick smile before walking through the halls and heading to the Pit. She had a swagger in her step that wasn't normally there. I probably shouldn't be in the member hall without an excuse as to why, so I just hoped to not to run into any members. A small knot in my stomach formed as I looked over at Damien's door. I couldn't help but to wonder if he was already at the Fence or if he was still here. I wouldn't find out. I passed the other doors quickly before knocking on Eric's.

For a moment I felt stupid and wished that I hadn't come here. I didn't even know whether or not Eric wanted me here and I sure as hell didn't know if he actually wanted me to come see him this soon. Maybe he only wanted to seek me out when he wanted me. I was about to turn from the door when I heard some shuffling and I froze in my spot. I smiled as the door opened but the smile immediately dropped off of my face. It wasn't Eric. It was Cameron. My mind was screaming at me to run but I stayed rooted to my spot.

"Ah, Alex," he greeted.

"Hi, Cameron," I said awkwardly.

"It's alright, I should be leaving anyways. I have to head out to Abnegation in the morning. Have a fun night you two. Careful, the walls aren't soundproof," he said.

Cameron winked at me before brushing past and disappearing out the door. It was easy to see that he was stumbling slightly. A blush was prominent on my face and I rolled my eyes. I had blushed more today than I had my entire life. Of course he had told Cameron. I had told Heather, too. But he had told me not to tell anyone. Dirty liar. I scowled as I walked over to where he was draped over the couch. He was sitting with his legs slightly open and a bottle on the counter. An almost empty bottle. Were they really just drinking all day?

"Productive day you've had," I said as I walked into his view.

He smirked up at me. "Just as productive as yours," he said.

"And what happened to not telling anyone?" I asked with my hands on my hips.

Eric shrugged at me. "You told Heather and Tori, I told Cameron," he told me nonchalantly.

I tried to think of something to say but nothing was coming out. I simply stuttered stupidly. How the hell had he known that I had told them? "What?" I asked dumbly.

He moved to sit up a little straighter on the couch. "There are cameras all over Dauntless. By the net and in the shops. The smiles on their faces, not many things that would have caused those," he told me.

I should have known better. There were cameras everywhere in Dauntless and Eric was patrolling them. I should have known that he would figure it out if I told someone. Oh well, at least he didn't seem mad. "Very clever," I told him snappily.

I waited for him to say something. He was just sitting on the couch with a lazy grin up at me. I wanted to smack him. He had just been drinking all day with Cameron and was now drunk. "Come here," Eric growled.

"Have you seriously just been sitting here and drinking with your friend all day?" I asked.

"I had a meeting earlier," he said, grabbing the back of my bare thighs, bringing me closer to him.

I squeaked a little bit as I tripped over him. His fingers splayed themselves over the back of my thighs. His fingers were rough but I liked it. But I could also smell the liquor on his breath. "Damn Eric, you've had way too much to drink. Just the two of you nearly emptied that whole bottle. Go to bed," I told him.

The snarl on his face told me that there was no way in hell that he was going to listen to me. "Not without you," he growled.

His words were the tiniest bit slurred but he was steady enough on his feet to stand. I wasn't going to admit it I was glad that he didn't listen to me. "Eric," I groaned through a laugh.

"You know this is the only day we actually had off. And you could have stayed here," he told me darkly.

"I know. But I had things to do," I said.

Eric grabbed the bottom of my shirt and I let him pull it over my head. His eyes immediately dropped to the piercing and he smiled. "A flower? How very, Amity," he sneered.

I rolled my eyes at him. Even half-drunk he knew how to get on my nerves. "Yeah, Erudite. I might be a little Amity, but at least I'm not acting like a Stiff right now," I snapped back.

I knew that if there was one thing that Eric would hate being called more than an Erudite, it would be getting called a Stiff. Something that he was most certainly not. But I wanted him to make a move and I didn't want him to wait. All hints of his previous drunken behavior had vanished. I knew that it would get to him. He whirled on me and shoved me back into the wall near his bed. My head smacked the wall and I groaned softly. That hurt.

"What the fuck did you just say?" he growled.

"You heard me," I said through a smirk.

Anything to rile him up. "I'll show you Stiff," he growled into my ear.

He kissed me roughly, enough to bruise my lips. The kisses were open mouthed and fierce. His lips moved from mine to my neck and I moaned as he bit down roughly and lifted me up. My legs were wrapped tightly around his waist as he left a large bruise on the top of my chest. There went wearing any low cut shirts tomorrow. I groaned throatily as I fingered through his hair.

He quickly grabbed my hand and forced it out of his hair and grabbed the roots of mine so that he could yank it back. I knew that he was telling me that he was in charge, and I didn't mind in the slightest. I just wanted him. His hands yanked my zipper down roughly before slamming me onto his bed.

He wasn't soft with me at all as his head came down to mine and our teeth mashed together. It actually hurt slightly and I sucked in a breath but Eric didn't stop. His kisses were stealing my breath away and I gasped as his head pulled away from mine and he kissed down the front of my body. His lips trailed down the valley in between my breasts and his hands grabbed my hips tighter than he ever had. There was no doubt that it would be bruise them.

As he rose back up from the valley between my breasts, I could smell the alcohol coming off of his breath, but it didn't both me in the slightest. It made his kisses sloppier. He came up to give me a brief kiss, our tongues tangling together as he locked our legs together. Once he released my mouth, he worked his way back down my body to my unbuttoned jeans. His hands were desperately tugging them off of me.

It was rather nice to feel everything from him. I was glad that things were no less intense than they had been last night. The wet kisses felt good as he worked his way down my body. My hands wound their way into his hair, but it didn't last long. One slap from him made me draw them back. He was not having anything from me tonight. It would only be him picking what we would be doing.

I tried to wrestle his shirt off of his body and he finally let me, tossing it off to the side of the room. Leaning back onto him slightly, he fell back against the bed in his half-drunken state. He must have been extremely out of it. But he was still managing well enough. I took his momentary weakness to take advantage of his current state. He sucked in a breath as I raked my nails down his chest, through the bits of hair he had there.

He hissed in something in between pain and pleasure as I kissed down his torso and tugged at the belt on his pants. Not that he allowed me to do that for very long. It seemed that my sudden movement had finally snapped him out of his drunken stupor as he grabbed me and flipped me over myself. I landed on my back and groaned as he popped the bra off of my body, tossing it elsewhere. He wasted no time in getting to work on my chest.

His tongue flicked on my nipples and I groaned as he bit down on them softly. My breaths started to come in pants, as I definitely hadn't been expecting him to do that. No matter how possessive he was, he never seriously hurt me. His spare hand was underneath my back, digging into the soft skin there.

"God Eric," I groaned, as one hand dropped to push my pants off.

He always did surprised me with everything that he did. I helped him slide the pants off of my body and it shocked me when he bit down on my hips. There was no doubt that it would leave a bruise there. He teeth were gently grazing over the skin there and I thrust my hips upwards. Fuck, I wanted him more than I had last night. He squeezed my other breast roughly and I moaned at his touch. His hands were all over me but the one place he wouldn't go was the one place that I wanted him the most.

"For God's sake, just fuck me," I panted.

I'd never been that desperate before, but he made me that way. All I wanted was him. "Shut up," he snarled.

But, at my words, he pulled my pants all the way off. I yelped as he literally tore my underwear from my body after struggling with it for a moment. There was no way that I was getting those back. I knew that he was far more drunk than he was letting on. He couldn't even get my underwear off, something that I doubted that he normally had a problem with. One finger twirled around my entrance and I tried to push my hips up to his finger. But he retracted it at the last second.

"Do you want it?" he asked me.

I nodded with pleading eyes. "Of course," I said.

"Too bad."

Honestly, I should have been expecting that. He would never let me have it as easily as that. I cried out softly as Eric thrust two fingers inside of me and began to pump them slowly. My breath began to come in short gasps as his spare hand grabbed my thigh and tightened his grip on me. I waited a moment for him to speed up, but he wouldn't. He kept his place at a tortuously slow pace as he pushed my legs as far apart as they could go, reaching even deeper in me. My legs began to shake as he leaned down and flicked his tongue against my clit.

"Eric," I moaned loudly.

And they didn't stop there. I knew that my pants and yells were louder than normal, but I didn't care. I wanted him. Being drunk was only making him even better than he had been last night. He kept his pace slow and I moaned, letting out a few desperate groans as his fingers curled inside of me, reaching the place that only he had ever been able to find. My arms began to quiver as he sucked roughly at my clit.

He went back and forth between rubbing against me and sucking at my clit. He pushed in a third finger and bit lightly at my clit, something that made my entire body jerk in a quick spasm. My yells were getting louder as Eric pushed my hips roughly into the bed so that I couldn't move. Not even try to get the friction that I wanted so much. I was trying desperately to wiggle my hips, but I couldn't. He briefly lifted his head to bite at my hipbones and I cried out. I was so close. I was right there.

"Don't stop," I moaned as my walls began to contract.

And just like that, he stopped. He retracted his fingers from my body and moved his face away. What the fuck was he doing? Why had he stopped? "Not yet," he growled in my ear as he nipped behind it and on the lobe.

My breath was coming in gasps and I wanted to cry at the sudden loss of him. "What?" I asked softly.

This was what I got for teasing him. "Not until I say so," he said.

My body twinged at his words and I nodded. I supposed that I had asked for that one. Eric's pants were still on and I immediately went to his buckle. I had expected him to do something, but he did nothing. Instead, this time, he didn't stop me as I unbuckled his pants and tore them off of his legs, his boxers coming with them. His length freed itself and I went to go down on him before he grabbed my hair and roughly pulled me back.

I almost cringed in pain, but managed to keep myself silent. "No. Turn around," he growled.

He was _definitely_ drunk. I followed his orders and turned around in the bed. He stood up out of the bed and yanked at my ankles. I went flying back off of the bed and landed awkwardly half in and half out of the bed. Eric pushed his hand down onto my back and bent me over the edge of the bed, forcing me to look down at the pillows. It was something that I had never done before. No Amity would have ever done something like that. Not with that kind of control.

His hands were roughly on my back, keeping me face-down, as I felt him tease my entrance. For nearly a minute he rubbed himself against me and I cried out. As much as I wanted him to do something, I knew that he wouldn't. He was not making this easy on me. I shoved my hips back towards him, but he knew it was coming. He backed away from me slightly before shoving me forward, back against the bed, slapping my ass roughly. I heard a few curses stream from his mouth at me and I gasped softly.

No one had _ever_ done that before. "Spread your legs," Eric demanded.

I did so without question. "Eric just -" I growled before he unexpectedly slammed into me.

The scream that came out of my mouth was much louder than I had intended it to be. I hoped that Cameron was wrong about those walls not being soundproof. Or his neighbors would have just gotten a very rude wake-up call. Eric shoved himself all the way into me and I panted with short breaths as he plunged in and out of me at a painfully slow pace. My body jerked forward with each thrust as I breathed heavily.

He was barely moving in me and I cried out so that I could beg for him to move faster. It took him a few minutes, but he finally did. He began to thrust harder than he ever had before, nearly tossing me forward. I moaned loudly as his hips smacked against my backside and his fingers found my clit, wrapping his arm around my body. He bit at few places on my back as he pushed into me as far as he could possibly go. My entire body was shaking as I got closer and closer, screaming out for him. Every time he pushed into me, I cried out as my entire body gave a small spasm. I was so close. So damned close.

My body began to spasm and I waited for it as my vision began to go white. This was better than anything that I'd ever had before, and I had definitely had a fair bit before. But , to my surprise, my vision never went white. Eric pulled completely out of me and I turned back to look at him with a hint of desperation.

"Not until I say so," Eric growled.

He turned me over so that I was facing him once more and kissed me at a furious pace as I tried to lift my leg to push him back inside of me. But he knew what I was doing. And he wouldn't let me do it. He grabbed my thigh tightly and shoved it away from my body as he pushed us back into the bed, our bodies tangling together.

At his sudden movement, I fell backwards as he pressed one leg away from my body and the other straight up so that my thigh was touching against my stomach. It made me feel something that I had never felt before. I shouted his name loudly and dug my nails into his back as he slammed himself into me once more, this time at a near-furious pace, not giving me any warning and stretching me out as far as I could go.

"Don't you dare come," Eric ordered.

I tried to follow his orders, but it was tough with everything that he was doing. My body was shaking intensely and I knew that at any minute I was no longer going to be able to control myself. And judging by how desperate his thrusts were getting, I knew that he was getting close, too.

"Please," I begged softly.

He groaned my name into my neck, giving it another rough bite, before flipping us once more so that he was plunging into me from behind as I was on all fours, just as he had been doing before, hitting a spot deep in me that I never knew that I had. It made me yearn that Eric and I had done this rather than fight all of those times that we had.

"Please, Eric," I begged once more, hearing his grunts becoming louder.

They were loud enough that I knew that he was enjoying this just as much as I was, if not even more. His name came pouring out of my mouth as he pulled my torso up for my back to meet his front. It was even better than it had felt moments before. One hand went to my breast and he began to pinch my nipple as the other went to my clit, rubbing it.

His name was pouring from my mouth as if it were a curse. The two of us panted together loudly as his mouth clamped around my neck, leaving his mark. My hands wound back to tug at his hair as his name began to turn into something that was more of a desperate moan, the knot in my stomach growing and feeling like it might explode at any minute. He kissed at my throat before pinching my clit roughly, making me scream lightly.

"Come. Now," he ordered huskily in my ear.

And that was all that it took. All sorts of profanities and moans escaped my mouth as my walls clenched around him and I came harder than I thought was possible. My vision went fuzzy and my entire body erupted into spasms. Eric followed a moment later, pumping slowly and jerkily into me. The two of us panted against each other and we both collapsed once we had slowed down, merely leaning against each other.

I fell forward and he fell onto my back, panting and moaning from what we had just done. He placed a small kiss on the back of my neck, making the hair stand on end, and as he pulled himself out of me. That had been surprisingly sweet. It made us both quiver as we dropped down into the bed, me falling beside him. He turned to give me a quick kiss before laying back down, our heavy breathing the only sound in the now far too silent room.

A few minutes later I was panting heavily as I stood from the bed to grab my clothes. My legs were throbbing and I found myself hardly able to stand. It had been a bad idea for me to tease him as much as I had. He had gotten me back and he had done so relentlessly. He had barely let me find my own release and had only let me done so after a lot of begging and at his demand. One of these days I would get my revenge on him.

But that wasn't today. So I grabbed my slightly torn underwear and laughed as I pulled it on with my stretched out pants over them. I turned back to tell Eric goodnight, but he was already asleep. It made me laugh. He was unceremoniously splayed out on the bed, showing everything. I grinned softly and grabbed the comforter, tossing it over his bare form. Once my shirt was on, I flattened my hair and grabbed one of his bottles of water before leaving. Today had been wonderful. It was one of the easiest days that I had been through in Dauntless, but it wouldn't be like that for long. Tomorrow would be back to work. But I had today.

 **A/N:** Here's another updated M-rated chapter, extended a little bit from the original. **Drop me a review if you feel the need!** Until next time -A

 **cwooten: So glad that you liked the M rated version! Sorry about where the T ended but I figured that if I was going to do an M rated version and if people wanted more they could pop on over here lol. I'm so glad that you liked it and thank you so much! Well Alex definitely had an awkward moment and Eric sure as hell enjoyed it! ;)**

 **Derbygirl63: I'm so glad! Of course it wasn't too soon for another M rated chapter! There will be some that won't have an M rated counterpart but I got so much positive response on the last one I felt like I owed one more. There is a reason that I wanted them to admit that neither one won and both get a tattoo. Trust me, this was is better ;) I'm really happy that you love the story so much! I'm glad that you think it has both. In this second half of the story I'm going to try really hard to balance out the romance and the actual story line since both are important to me. I tried not to rush to the last chapter and not to drag it out either. And no! Please don't shorten the reviews, I love the long ones!**

 **Nat: Thank you so much! I hope you liked this one too ;)**

 **lovespirit: I'm so glad that you liked when they finally kissed! I'm so glad that you liked the last one and where the plot of the story is going. As much as we all love the romance the story has to have a real plot line too lol. Thanks!**

 **Guest: Thanks so much! And yeah, I do too ;)**

 **.353: I'm sorry I don't know which one you were or I would have put the reviews together. I think we're all jealous of Alex right now! Eric makes me quiver too. And it's no secret, all girls love a bad boy ;)**

 **Gummienummie: I hope that means you like it!**

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you liked this one too!**

 **Amanda LopesBR: I'm so glad that you loved it and I hope this one was just as hot! Well here's the start to the hot M rated chapters to come. Yes that was the word lol. Eric isn't much for cuddling but who knows? Everyone can change :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Eric's P.O.V.

The morning sun was streaming through the few windows behind Eric's bed and he groaned. One day he was going to use his abundance of credits to buy the blackout curtains that Cameron was always suggesting. His head was pounding slightly and for a moment he wished that the initiates were still going through physical training. He would love to beat the holy hell out of one of them today. The only thing that made his predicament slightly better was the fact that the comforter had been laid over him and his clothes had all been neatly folded over the couch.

It definitely wasn't the way that they had been left last night. He smirked to himself. She was good company to have. No other woman would have put the comforter over him and folded up his clothes after their intense night. He sat up slowly and turned to yell at her to get to training. But there was a problem. She wasn't there.

His eyebrows knitted in confusion. Had he kicked her out last night? Even through the alcoholic haze, he knew that he hadn't kicked her out. So where was she? He let the comforter fall around him and stood up to look for her. Maybe she hadn't left. But his office was empty as was his bathroom. She was nowhere to be found. She must have either left early in the morning or stayed the night. Eric found himself mildly upset at the thought that she had left without letting him know. Perhaps it was because she left on her own free will, not because he had told her too.

He wondered if he could catch her before she went to training. Like most mornings she would probably be down in the dining room within the next twenty minutes or so. As he swung his legs over the edge of the bed he realized that there was a dull throbbing in them and the roots of his hair were sore. He nearly laughed. No woman had ever left him sore before. He was always the one that left them sore.

But they were rough last night. Rougher than he had ever been with anyone else. But he liked rough. It was what he thrived on. And he was thrilled that she could give it to him. He hated it when girls complained that he was too rough or too fast with them. He liked that she could keep up with him.

Shaking out the dull throbbing in his thighs he stood and walked into his kitchen, grabbing the empty bottle of brandy and tossing it into the trash can. He grabbed a bottle of rum from the back of the counter and took a small swig. A few of his Dauntless born friends had taught him that the best way to help a hangover was to have one more drink. The Erudite part of him knew that it wasn't true, but he wasn't one to complain about drinking.

As he took a bottle of water out of his fridge he laughed softly at the memory of the night before. She had wanted him to go to bed. He knew that she was glad that she had broken and let him sleep with her. She would have been missing out on something great. It was so cute that she had thought that she was going to be in charge last night. She would never be in charge.

Eric walked into his bathroom and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist. It was cold in his room. It was boiling last night when he had fallen into bed. She must have turned down the air. He walked back into his kitchen and started to pour himself some coffee. He needed to snap himself out of his daze. He had a meeting with the other leaders soon. A knock sounded on his door but Eric ignored it. It wasn't her. She would be getting ready for the first day of mental training. And he was dead curious to know what she was afraid of. The door swung open and Eric turned to tell Max that he would be ready soon, but it was Cameron.

"Hey, man," Cameron greeted.

Eric poured himself a cup of coffee. "Hey," Eric greeted blandly.

Cameron was dressed in finer clothing with none of his tattoos showing. He'd even taken out his lobe earring. He would be visiting Abnegation, obviously. "Saw your girl last night," Cameron said.

At Cameron's words, Eric perked up slightly. That meant that she hadn't stayed the night. He wasn't sure whether he had thought that she would or not. She must have picked up his clothes and thrown the blanket over him before leaving. That was the most that someone had ever done for him. Maybe she really did care more about him than he thought that she did.

"Yeah?" Eric asked, trying to sound disinterested.

Cameron nodded back. "Yeah. She was walking through the Pit," Cameron said.

"You must have seen her while she was leaving," Eric said nonchalantly.

Cameron immediately smirked. He knew that Eric hadn't ordered her to leave. Despite the fact that he acted tough when it came to her, Cameron knew that she was slowly melting the ice around his heart. It would take a long time and it might never thaw completely, but he knew that Eric felt more for her than anyone else. Eric definitely hadn't kicked her out. She seemed just fine when saw her in the halls. But she had been walking with a slight limp. No one had ever known Eric as the gentle type.

"She was limping a little bit. Poor girl. I hope she didn't get in a fight," Cameron said.

Both men smirked at each other. "She never did pick her fights wisely," Eric said, making them both laugh.

What had happened after Cameron left the night before was obvious. "That makes two of you," Cameron said.

"Wiser than you," Eric snapped back.

Cameron had to know that Eric hadn't done something stupid. "You kicked her out last night?" he asked with a little scowl.

Eric knew that Cameron was fond of Alex. Many Dauntless members were. It was one of the things that bothered him. He hated that the one girl that he had found himself drawn to was also the one that attracted attention from nearly everyone in the Faction. He wanted to be the sole person to own her affection, and he was.

"No. She left on her own," Eric snarled, trying not to sound bitter.

Cameron's eyebrow quirked at his admission. No girl ever left Eric's apartment on their own. Eric always kicked them out. He was shocked that Alex had left on her own free will. When they passed each other in the halls last night she had looked like she could barely walk. He would have thought that she would be more comfortable passing out in his bed than limping back to the dorms.

"Did she?" Cameron asked.

"Guess so. Must have been after I passed out," Eric mumbled.

They were silent for a moment as Eric steamed over her leaving. He'd make sure that she stayed tonight. "Sad that she left you without another word?" Cameron asked Eric with a smirk.

His voice carried a teasing lilt to it. "I don't give a shit," Eric snarled.

Of course, it wasn't the truth. He was pissed that she left. Not that he was going to tell her that. "Now you know how the girls that you kicked out through the years feel," Cameron told Eric, who scoffed loudly. Cameron had done the same thing to women during their time in Dauntless. "She should be heading to breakfast soon if you want to catch her."

Not that he hadn't known that she would be heading down to breakfast soon. Eric nodded at his friend and moved towards the back of his apartment. He wanted to go bother her one last time before she had to leave for the day to do mental training. Now that they were out of physical training he wouldn't see her much during the day.

"I think I might just go do that," Eric said.

Cameron smirked as he turned to the coffee maker and dumped some into his thermos, heading over to the door. "Tell her I said hello," Cameron called.

"Sure. Have fun with the Stiffs," Eric teased before Cameron could leave.

He turned back with a nasty snarl on his face. "Shut the fuck up," he snapped.

Eric nearly laughed. He knew that besides Erudite, Cameron hated having to visit Abnegation the most. And Eric didn't blame him in the slightest. He had only visited Abnegation once himself and it was terrible. It made him feel like the life had been sucked out of him. He couldn't understand how people lived there. It was even worse than the constant cheer of Amity. At least they had life in their Faction. And Amity's were known for being lookers. Abnegation were boring and dull.

"One of these days Eric, I'm gonna get myself a girl like you have," Cameron said, making Eric look up curiously. "I need one. They all whine that I'm not soft enough."

He let out a soft sigh. Eric smirked brightly. "Really? Mine whines that I'm not rough enough," Eric said.

Despite the fact that Cameron thought it was a joke, it was the truth. Cameron laughed loudly and the two said their goodbyes. Cameron would be gone for a few days before heading to Candor. It would be about a week and a half before he was back in Dauntless. As he turned to leave, the door slammed shut behind him and Eric walked into the bathroom, shutting the door.

His mind kept wandering back to last night and he had to shake his head clear of the thoughts that were running rampant. His Amity constantly filled his thoughts - far more than he liked to admit - and their actions last night weren't helping anything. And right now, his thoughts about her were making it hard to concentrate. He dropped the towel and stepped under the steady stream of water, turning it as cold as he could possibly tolerate.

Alex's P.O.V.

Despite the fact that there were no windows in the dorms, I seemed to always know when morning came. Perhaps this morning it was because my friends were already awake and moving around. I wasn't surprised that I had overslept. Eric had kept me up late into the night. There was a soft throbbing in between my legs and I bit back a groan. Eric had been rougher than I was expecting but I had done nothing to stop him. I liked it.

I liked it far more than I wanted to admit. It was hot the way that we tangled together. I desperately hoped that Heather wouldn't ask about last night, because I wasn't quite sure that I wanted to admit what had gone down between Eric and me last night. I liked his domineering side, but I wasn't sure that Heather would. I just knew that it didn't work on everyone. But it did on him.

The stickiness was still residing in between my thighs and I sighed, moving so that I was leaning out of the edge of my bed. It was so much harder than Eric's. His was nice and soft, like laying on a cloud. Mine felt like laying on stone. My eyelids were heavy as I glanced around the rest of the room. My vision was still bleary but I could make out what most people were doing. They were all moving slowly too. I assumed that most of them had just woken up. Cole seemed to be the only one moving normally.

He was the only person, save myself. I briefly wondered what Eric had thought when he'd woken this morning to see that I was no longer there. He was probably grateful that I had let myself out. I had thought about leaving a note that I would be back tonight but I was pretty sure that it would have been pushing it. So I had left with nothing more than a blanket over his bare body and grabbing his clothes together, leaving them in a neat pile.

Standing from my bed, I tugged the shirt that I was wearing a little lower on my thighs. It wasn't even my shirt. It was Buck's. He had given it to me to sleep in a few days ago when he realized that his arms had gotten too big to fit in the sleeves. He had needed the new points to buy a new wardrobe. On the other side of the room Cole called for the girls to shower first and I stood with Heather.

Jade stood as well but she huffed and left without a word. She rarely showered with us. Normally she waited until the middle of the day. She now spent as little time as possible in the dorms with her cohorts missing. It made me happy. I walked with Heather into the showers and we both stripped before stepping under the freezing water. I was going to start showering at Eric's. These showers were too fucking cold.

As we stood under the water I noticed that Heather was shaking, just like me. Neither one of us were fond of the cold water. And it occasionally reminded me of my fall at the Chasm, something that I hated thinking about. Heather's eyes darted down to my legs and I rolled my eyes. It was easy to see that I was standing with my legs slightly apart and the tiny limp that I was walking with. Heather smirked brightly. She knew what I had been doing last night. And now she knew to what extent.

"I see that he was gentle last night," she teased.

I mumbled a few very rude profanities under my breath as I rinsed off, trying to stop my body from trembling. "Shut up and stop looking at me like that," I muttered.

"Tell me, what happened?" Heather prodded.

She had a childish tone to her voice and I rolled my eyes. "God you're so nosy," I teased.

We both laughed loudly, knowing that the boys had already left the room. "We both know that you'll do it to me when the time comes," she said.

"You're right."

And she was. I would want to know everything. This was one of the few chances that we had to talk without the boys listening in. It was good to have an open talk where I wouldn't have to worry that Eric would see me talking to Heather. Now if only I would have thought of the showers the other day, to tell her what had happened that night.

"It was so hot, Heather. When I was with Florian back in Amity he always let me lead and was as gentle as could be. Every guy in Amity is that way," I told her.

Part of me couldn't help but to wonder if he was any different with Iris. Or if they had even done it. "That sounds boring," Heather scoffed.

"It is. And, you know, he was rougher but now I see it. He wasn't into it. Not really," I said sadly. I still felt like a damn moron when I thought about Damien.

Heather patted my back gently as I rinsed out my hair. "You didn't know," Heather said softly.

All I knew was that I didn't want to think about Damien. "Eric is so different. He doesn't let me be in charge and he's rough. It's like being with a real man," I said, feeling very stupid.

Heather smiled and I laughed, knowing that I sounded stupid as hell. Heather seemed to read my mind as she said, "Hey it's not stupid. It's not."

"You so sure about that?" I asked.

"Yes, I am. He's a real man. You know, the kind of guy that only a few girls are crazy enough to take on," she said, nudging me.

I laughed once more and smiled at her. "Thanks," I deadpanned.

"It was a compliment. I bet it was hot. I don't like Eric, but I imagine sex with him is probably the best," she said.

I knew that Heather wasn't an Eric fan. Not since he had called her out in front of everyone a few months back when training had first started. The things that he had told her were completely uncalled for. Now I wondered if it was because he was looking to get a rise out of me. But Heather was good about our relationship.

"Sex with him _is_ the best," I said brightly.

"I mean Cole is great too but he's gentle," Heather said.

A broad smile fell over my face. I hadn't known that she actually had slept with Cole. I thought that they were fooling around. "Well if you'd like I can go out there and let Cole know exactly how you want it?" I offered.

"Absolutely not! He doesn't know that I've told anyone," she said quickly.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." We were quiet for a little while before I looked back at her. "What exactly is it like with him?" I asked.

If she wanted to know what Eric was like I wanted to know what Cole was like. "But, seriously, I might take you up on the whole telling Cole what I want thing," she chirped.

We both laughed once more. I was surprised to realize that the boys were still in the dorm room. I could hear them chatting in the main room, laughing and probably wrestling with each other. I really hoped that we weren't being loud enough for them to hear us. That would make for an awkward conversation.

"But I mean it's great seriously. It really is," Heather said. I just wanted her to be happy. "We went to this little broom closet and it was so funny. We were falling over brooms and each other and it was messy but it was still great. Like he was just rough enough to be Dauntless but not so much so that I'm walking with a limp today."

Her eyes flashed teasingly as she looked down at me. Heather looked extremely proud of herself at her last comment and I rolled my eyes. Reaching up to her shoulder, I shoved Heather lightly, making sure that she wasn't going to fall on the slippery floor. The boys were terrible about leaving soap residue on the floor of the showers, making it damn near impossible to stand sometimes.

"Shut up. Bitch," I muttered. Heather laughed as we rinsed the soap suds out of our hair. "Are you nervous for today? I am. I mean I don't even know what I'm afraid of."

It seemed that my comment hadn't thrown Heather in the slightest. "I'd think you were insane if you weren't nervous for today," she said and I nodded at her. "I mean I know what my first fear is going to be."

A little shiver shot over her spine. "Drowning, right?" I asked.

She nodded weakly at me. I reached over and grabbed her hand. That wouldn't be a fun fear to have to face. Especially one that she already knew was coming. But I still thought that it was worse having to face the unknown. It seemed that neither one of us were going to have a good day today.

"Don't worry. They aren't really going to let us die," she said.

I scoffed at her. "That is not comforting," I said.

She laughed at me once more. "Eric would go nuts if something serious happened to you. You know that he would," she said.

As much as I wanted to deny her, I knew that Heather was right. Eric would hate for anyone to hurt me. Other than himself, of course. Sometimes it seemed that he got the greatest joy of his day by torturing me. At least he wasn't going to be around during this part of training. All I knew right now was that I wanted to change the topic.

"At least you know what you're going to be facing. Eric mentioned to me that we face a new fear every day for these two months, but sometimes they'll repeat themselves. It's different for everyone," I said, making her blanch.

This wasn't something that any of us were looking forward to. "Sounds great," Heather muttered.

"We just learn to conquer them. I don't think it will be too bad. I really don't," I lied. "Eric said that they only take about twenty minutes to get through for most people their first few times. And you know how twenty minutes can fly by."

She nodded but I was sure that she didn't believe me. I was only trying to make her feel better. Secretly I was petrified of what was coming. It was best not to worry her. We shut off the water and stepped out of the shower with towels wrapped around our waists. The boys saw us when we made our way out into the main area and we scowled at them, waiting for them to leave. Buck gave us a sleazy grin and I rolled my eyes. We had a system. When the girls came out to get changed, the boys had to leave.

"Chill, we're leaving. We'll save you girls a seat," he said.

"Thanks," I said, walking towards my bed.

"Come on, Cole. You have the rest of your life to convince Heather to let you see her like that," Buck told Cole.

The boys all laughed as they shoved Cole out of the room. I said nothing but I did laugh loudly, Heather joining in. Apparently Cole hadn't told anyone that they had slept together yet either. Not that I blamed them. When it did come out that Eric and I were sort of together, I did not intend to tell the boys that we had slept together. Maybe I could convince them that we were completely chaste. _Yeah, right_.

As the boys turned to leave, I saw that a hint of color was rising to Cole's cheek and I smiled at him. They were so cute. If it wasn't against the rules, I was sure that Eric would go parading around and telling everyone what we had done. He was clearly very proud of himself. And I was sure that no one would believe me if I tried to fight against him. The door snapped shut and I turned to Heather. We were both grinning at each other.

"God, they're so stupid," I said through a laugh.

Once our soft laughter had died down, we went to putting ourselves together for training. Not that either one of us wanted to. If it were up to me, I would spend the day hanging out with Heather and join Eric tonight. I dragged on a pair of black, knee length pants and a tight black tank top before tying up my wet hair. Leaning over the sink I washed off my face before standing upright and walking over to Heather.

Neither one of us looked as nice as we had yesterday. Not that it mattered. No one was putting as much effort into their appearances today as they had been before. Not when we didn't know what was coming. I grabbed my trainers and slipped them over my feet, motioning to Heather that I was ready to leave. She was wearing a pair of black cargo pants and a loose black shirt with her boots. I could tell that she was already shaking with nerves.

Silently we walked from the dorms and headed into the dining room. The boys were already seated and eating their breakfasts, laughing between themselves. Heather and I walked into the food line and grabbed ourselves breakfast. I only took a small portion of eggs with a bottle of water. I was nervous that if I tried to eat anymore, I would end up throwing it up. And I was sure that Four would not appreciate that. My mind was mostly occupied with the fear of letting slip to Four what I was.

"Move it. Initiate," I heard a familiar voice growl.

Slightly nervous, I glanced up to see that Eric was standing over me. Underneath his hard demeanor there was a slightly teasing look in his eyes. I merely stared back at him with a hardened scowl. Heather shifted awkwardly next to me and I glanced around. We were the only three in the food line. Without saying another word, Heather grabbed her food in her hands, along with mine and my water. I went to ask her what she was doing but she beat me to the punch.

"I'll go bring this to them and save your spot. See you in a few minutes," Heather rushed out.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Good morning, Eric," she chirped softly before ducking out of the line awkwardly.

Eric said nothing as she left, but I knew that he was grateful that she took the hint and left. He motioned for me to follow him and I did. We walked past the register at the end of the line and into a little alcove, similar to the one that he had pressed me into all of those months ago on our separate dinner dates. The thought almost made me smile. I backed easily into the wall as Eric placed his hands on either side of me, effectively trapping me in between him.

"Proud of them, huh?" Eric asked me, a smirk clear on his face.

My eyebrow quirked in confusion. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

His eyes were down near my chest and I glanced down, realizing with a start what he was talking about. Bruises lightly littered my skin up and down my chest and neck and I panicked, yanking my hair from its hold and throwing it down around my shoulders. Thankfully I was pretty sure that no one else had noticed. Eric laughed softly before his face went hard.

"You left last night," he stated.

Slowly I nodded at him. "Yes I did. Can't be staying in your apartment every night. People will get suspicious. Plus I somehow doubt that you want me in your bed every night," I said softly.

He nodded at me and stayed silent, his eyes not once leaving mine. I had figured that he didn't want me staying with him every night. I knew that his piercing gaze was making a little hint of color rise on my cheeks. Part of me couldn't help but to wonder if he actually did want me to stay with him. Of course not. That was stupid. And not the type of man that Eric was.

"I might be able to work it out if you want me to stay. Only for your bed though," I teased.

To my relief, a smirk popped up on his face, mirroring the one on my own. We both knew that my statement was a lie. His bed was an added bonus. "That's alright. The only thing that I keep you around for is your body," he said.

I snorted as he leaned into me, his mouth dropping over my ear. "What are you doing?" I asked, my body shaking slightly.

"Or maybe it's the way that you say my name," he breathed into my ear. "The way that you moan it."

My body gave a slight quiver as his lips traveled over the back of my ear and he nipped lightly at the skin behind it. Before I could say anything he leaned back up and kissed me. I sighed and dropped against the wall as he pressed his body roughly into my own. We moved together for a moment, his tongue slipping into my mouth, as my hands wound their way into his back pockets. I tugged him into me and he smirked into the kiss, tilting my head back.

One of his was on the back of my neck and the other was gripping my hip tightly. His hand ran up the base of my spine before reaching into my hair, tightening around my roots and yanking it backwards. I gasped softly, only furthering his allowance of exploring my mouth. Our hips ground down together and I forced myself to keep from yanking him further into the out cove and having my way with him. We moved together for a few minutes before I finally managed to pull away from him.

"What?" Eric asked.

"If you don't stop, I'm going to bring you back there and end up being _really_ late for training," I said.

I hooked my thumbs in Eric's back pockets. "You can afford a few minutes and I'll be fast," Eric said, keeping us crushed together.

He smirked and let his hands run over the back of my pants, tugging my lower half closer to him. "Then you can explain it to Four," I said, shoving him gently.

"He listens to me," Eric growled against the skin of my neck.

"I can - uh... I can come back after training today. If you want?" I asked, feeling extremely awkward.

I had never had to ask Eric something like that and I wasn't fond of it in the slightest. The worst part was that Eric knew that I was uncomfortable. He smirked down at me and fiddled with the sleeves of my tank top. I smiled as he brushed the hair back off my shoulder and leaned down to kiss a bruise that was on the top of my chest. I bit my lip to keep quiet and fought to keep my legs from quivering. Somehow I managed to keep still.

His lips came back to my ear and I grinned softly. "I look forward to it," he said softly. "Don't think that you're getting any sleep tonight."

"Don't think that I want to sleep," I shot back.

A low growl erupted in his throat as he tightened his grip on me once more. We smirked at each other before he leaned back up and grabbed my shirt. He fixed the sleeves and I let him layer my hair around my chest and neck, once more hiding the bruises. Once he was satisfied he looked back up at my eyes. He was no longer smirking. He was back to being a strong leader.

"Don't let the sims get to you. They seem real but they aren't. Slow your heart rate down and solve the problem. Four will be watching to make sure it doesn't get out of hand," Eric said.

"Okay," I said, repeating his words like a mantra in my head.

He had told me this before but it helped to hear it again. If he could make it through this so did I. "You'll take turns throughout the day. You'll be training with the Dauntless born at this point and going in reverse order. That means you're going sixth to the last," he explained.

I understood that but it didn't mean that I liked it. That meant that I would have to wait nearly all day for it to finally be my turn. Suddenly another thought struck me. "Do other people see your sim? Besides Four?" I asked.

"No," Eric said.

I let out a breath. At least one thing was going right today. "Alright then. I'll see you after training," I told Eric, trying to sound positive.

It didn't work very well. My voice had a little shake in it. Eric nodded and leaned down to kiss me once more, squeezing my hip painfully. I knew that it was his own little way of telling me that I would be fine. It left a slight throb at his touch. I was still tender from last night. He left and I counted to thirty in my head before walking out and heading to the table my friends were at.

By the time that I made it out in the dining room, Eric was already standing on the perch and talking with Max. It sent a shiver down my spine. Eric was not a good guy. I couldn't forget that. I headed straight for my normal table and took a seat next to Heather as I started to shovel my eggs down. It took me five bites to get them down. I sipped my water slower, not wanting to expel my food. People were chatting softly around me and I smiled at them, trying not to show them just how afraid I was.

"Initiates!" Four yelled, startling me out of my daze. "Follow me!"

We all did so without argument. Everyone stood from their seats and I noticed the dining room fall silent as we left. They all knew what we were doing and their gazes dropped uncomfortably. Despite the fact that I never turned back, I knew that Eric was watching me the entire way out. We walked through a few halls that I had never been down before until we came up on a room that I was sure that I had never seen before.

The room that Four led us into was large and gray. It was like a galley, kind of like the way that the food line was laid out. There were seats on each side of the room that led to another door at the end with only the tiniest of windows. It looked like the door was made out of steel and extremely strong. It must have been the room that we would be testing in.

As I turned to look at the initiates, I realized just how many of us there were. Twenty-one of us. But it felt like so many more in this tiny room. We were all standing around, waiting on Four's instruction. I noticed Lisa standing near the door and I gave her a weak smile that she returned. Even the Dauntless born girl looked nervous. It made me feel sick. We were all in what I assumed was the waiting room. It felt like we were being led to slaughter.

Four shut the door behind the last of the initiates, walked up to the front of the room, and turned to face us. "Welcome to Phase Two of initiation. Congratulations on making it this far. But it only gets tougher from here. In my opinion this is much harder than physical initiation," Four said.

I noticed that as he talked his eyes flitted over the remaining initiates. And I noticed that his eyes were mostly trained on me. I swallowed a large lump in my throat. I didn't like the way that Four was looking at me. Like he knew my secrets. All of them. Even the Eric secret? I certainly hoped not.

"I'll tell you more as you come into the room. All you need to know right now is don't panic. You'll only make the waiting worse. We go from the bottom of the ranking board up. Colt, you're up first," he said.

Colt nodded, walking through the small crowd. As he walked into the room and the door hissed closed behind him everyone took their seats. Nerves were bundling in my stomach as I watched him through the window for as long as I could. He had bruises all over him. My stomach clench painfully at the look of pure hatred he gave me before sinking back into the room and disappearing from sight. I sighed deeply and dropped into the seat next to Heather.

We quietly talked with Lisa and Aaron for a while, but I had no idea what we were talking about. Finally the door hissed open once more and Colt walked out. He looked as pale as a ghost and had a thin sheen of sweat over his forehead. He looked half dead. It did nothing to calm my nerves. A clock on the side of the wall was marking our times and I looked up at his. Just over twenty-five minutes. Hunter was called in after Colt and I waited curiously. He came out after nineteen minutes. He looked a little rattled but otherwise calm. It disturbed me to no end how someone could always be calm the way that he was.

We sank back into our seats as Jade was called in. In the meantime, Lisa admitted to me that she was petrified of heights. She knew that it would be her first fear. I wondered how she had been able to scale the side of the train tracks when we had first come to Dauntless on Choosing Day. I was sure that it hadn't been easy. Heather admitted to Lisa that her fear was drowning, and it turned out that another Dauntless boy was afraid of the same thing. I admitted that I had no idea what my fear was. Heather and Lisa seemed to think that it would make things easier for me. I wasn't so sure about that.

As we waited, I wondered how Four and Eric had felt when they were doing this for their first time. Were they afraid? I didn't think that they were. Part of me even wondered if Damien, Zeke, or Cameron were afraid. I had a funny feeling that Damien was. Part of me was glad that Eric wasn't here. He would be raking us all over the coals if he could see how cowardly we were all being. And after the strange change in relationship between Eric and me, I wasn't sure how I would take his harsh words.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jade finally came out of the room. It looked like she might keel over and die. I glanced up at her time as she wobbled out of the room. Twenty-nine minutes. That was the slowest time so far. I couldn't help but to wonder what she had seen. As Jade left the room I noticed that even the Dauntless born now looked nervous. And that did nothing for the knot building in my stomach.

Jason was called in next and I found myself curious to see how a Dauntless born would handle the fear sim. He would be the first one. I turned to chat with Buck for a while, but it was next to useless. Neither one of us were invested enough to make a real attempt at a conversation. After a few minutes we fell silent, and seventeen minutes later I found out that the Dauntless born weren't handling the sims well either. Jason looked green.

Aria was called in once Jason left the room and, despite how tough the raven haired girl looked, I noticed that she was shaking. A few minutes after she had gone into the room Lisa had admitted to me that her mother had jumped off of the Chasm when she was just a young child. They were pretty sure that she had been intoxicated at the time. There was no doubt in my mind that that would be her first fear.

Most of my friends were speaking with each other and the Dauntless born but no one looked completely invested in their conversations. By this point most people were a touch of green. Aria walked out of her sim twenty-three minutes later shaking beyond belief. Four was walking her out. A few of her friends, including Lisa, tried to talk to her but she shook them off. I noticed that no one had spoken since leaving their sim.

Once Four was sure that Aria was alright another Dauntless born named Darren went into the sim. As the door slipped shut I noticed that Heather was shaking slightly. She was next. I held Heather's hand tightly as we waited. For once I wanted the person to take as long as possible. No matter what, I was going to have to wait until after lunch to do my sim. It made me nervous.

My nerves were currently to the point where I was sure that they were going to fry my brain. I didn't want Four to know what I was. I liked him well enough but I wasn't sure that I could trust him. Cole was currently trying to cheer Heather and me up, but it wasn't working. His attempts were frail anyways. I knew that he was just as nervous as us. Darren finally came out of the room and I glanced up. Twenty minutes on the dot. Four called out for Heather and I smiled at her.

"Good luck," I said. Heather smiled but said nothing back.

The door shut behind her and I dropped back into my seat with my knees pulled up to my chest. I was trying desperately to think of what I was afraid of. But nothing came to mind. I honestly had no idea. Not Jeanine. I hated her more than anything and frequently found myself nervous for what was to come, but I was sure that it wasn't fear. Or maybe it was. I was no longer afraid of Eric and I had never been afraid of Four.

Perhaps someone dying in my life? My parents not making it? My sister dying in my mother's womb? Losing my friends? Those were some of the few things that I could think of. And I didn't want to have to face any of them. I just wanted this to be over with. I didn't want to have to face this. But I was Dauntless. I was brave. There was no doubt in my mind that I could do this.

My heart was pumping rapidly until the door opened. My heart nearly slammed to a complete halt. I knew that it skipped a beat. Heather was half-walking and half-limping out of the room. She was breathing heavier than normal and it looked like she might have been crying. I walked up to her with Cole as Four called Serena into the room. Heather had taken just over twenty minutes. Not a bad time compared to everyone else's.

"Heather?" I asked. She kept her gaze averted to the ground. "Heather, are you alright? Hey, honey, look at me."

Heather finally looked up at me as Cole grabbed one of her hands and I grabbed the other. Heather stared like she had never seen us before. "I - I - I think I'm gonna go take a nap before lunch. I - I'll see you guys there," she said weakly.

The rest of our friends joined us a moment later. Everyone looked terrified for her. She looked like she might have passed out if I wasn't holding her as tightly as I was. "You sure?" I asked her.

Heather nodded weakly. "Don't worry. It - It isn't that bad," Heather said weakly. We all knew that she was lying, but I appreciated the attempt anyways. "See you guys soon. Good luck."

Only a few more of us would be going before lunch. Cole gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before releasing her to let her head back to the dorms. We all wanted to say something to ask about what had happened with Heather, but it seemed that no one could find it in themselves to talk about it. Partly out of respect for Heather. We all knew that what she had gone through hadn't been easy. But it was also because people were thinking that if they opened their mouths to speak they might throw up all over the floor. So we all sat in our chairs and tilted our heads back to the ceiling.

My eyes slipped shut and I tried to clear my mind. I was trying to take Four's advice on not panicking. But it was hard after seeing how people were acting as they left. And it was nearly impossible to ignore the tenseness of the air around us. It made it impossible for me to try and take a nap. All I could see was the terror waiting for me on the other side of that door. I wondered how Four felt doing this to us. Probably fine, considering that someone had once done this to him.

Unfortunately it took thirty-one minutes before Serena came out of the room. Despite the fact that we weren't the best of friends, I still felt bad for her. After all, she was trying her hardest and had apologized for the jests at the zip line. Although I was pretty sure that Lisa had talked her into doing it. Serena looked disappointed in herself and like she might burst into tears. The worst of it was that she looked like she might fall onto her face. Her knees were wobbling dangerously below her. I could hear Lisa whispering to her friend before letting her leave, the same way that I had acted with Heather.

Cole was called in afterwards and I grabbed his hand before letting him head into the room. He came out twenty-six minutes later. He was pale and sweating slightly. He did not look good in the slightest. He grabbed my shoulder weakly before walking from the room. Jet was called in next. He looked pale and a little twitchy when he came out of the room eighteen minutes later. He looked the most stable of anyone who had left so far.

It only took Four a moment to pop his head out of the door and call Sara into the room. There were only about half of us left waiting to go now. Twenty-three minutes after she had first been called in I watched as Sara left the room. She took a few steps before leaning over and vomiting all over the ground. Everyone jumped to their feet and rushed over to help her to her feet. Four shook his head and called for someone to clean up the mess as he helped Sara out of the room.

A moment later a Dauntless member came in to clean up the mess and everyone headed back to their seats as Lisa was called in. She came out twenty minutes later looking like she was about to vomit. Luckily she had a stronger stomach than her friend. She walked out on unsteady feet, letting the door shut behind her.

Four popped his head out of the room and I waited for him to call the next person into the room. But he never did. Instead he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. That meant that it must have been lunch time. I had thought that today would drag by, but instead it felt like the day was flying by. I knew that it was because I was nervous.

"Alright, head to the dining room. Get some food in you. Everyone that hasn't gone, come back here after lunch and we'll get you set up," Four instructed.

Everyone nodded at him and left the room with weak knees. They were wobbling as I walked in between Buck, Dante, Jax, and Draven. They all looked nervous too, but at least most of them knew what their fears were. The only person that was in the same predicament was Draven. I wondered if he was as nervous as me. It didn't look like it. Maybe it was possible that he had no fears. But I couldn't believe that. Everyone was afraid of something. Even Draven. Eric. Four. They were all afraid of something.

"Hey guys," I tried to chirp sweetly as we sat at the table next to our friends, who all looked sick.

Hunter, Jade, and Colt were sitting together too, on the other end of the dining room. They weren't talking. "Hey," Cole said softly.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Heather.

It took Heather a moment, but she finally let out a little sigh, probably steeling herself to tell us what had happened. "Awful. God that was awful. It was like I was drowning. I mean I really felt it. I felt like I was going to die. Four had me in this sim where I was on a boat in the middle of the ocean. The boat started to sink and I tried to run to get off of it. But I wasn't fast enough. No matter where I ran there was a block. So I got stuck in the bottom chambers. The water started to overflow and I pressed up on the ceiling. I tried to get out but I couldn't. The water went over my nose and it was awful. It felt like my lungs were on fire and my eyes were going to explode," she told us.

My skin began to erupt with goosebumps at her story. I shuddered, trying to push them away. That didn't make me look forward to my upcoming sim. Especially if they were as real as they sounded. Four must have pulled her out. It didn't sound like she had even managed to conquer her fear.

"I just - I don't want to do that again," she said softly.

Cole put an arm around his girlfriend and I watched the two with a small smile. "Mine was bad, too," he said.

"What happened?" I asked curiously.

"The sim that I was in started with me in a coffin. Or I think it was a coffin. I tried to pry open the doors but I couldn't. I was stuck." My mouth nearly dropped open as I grabbed a fry. "And that was when they started crawling in. From underneath the box I think. They were coming in and stinging me. Everywhere. I tried to find a way out of it but I couldn't. There was no way out. They were crawling into my mouth and stinging me in the eyes. Some of them went down my throat to cut off my air. Four stopped the sim because he thought that it was getting too dangerous," he said.

That meant that neither one of them could conquer their fears. I wasn't looking forward to this. "Scorpions?" I asked.

"Yeah," Cole muttered.

"Sounds like we had the same sim," Jet said.

"Are you afraid of scorpions?" Cole asked.

"No. But mine started out the same way. I woke up in this box. It was too small for me to be in. I fought against it and cut myself up. I'm pretty sure that I broke my foot while I was doing it," he said, a little grimace of pain crossing his face. "And then the box started to get smaller. I was sucking in all of the air that I could. But then I remembered what Four was telling us. To slow down your heart rate. So I did. I stopped panicking and that was when I found it. A lever. It was rusted almost solid and I tore off a few fingernails but I did it. I got the box opened and that was it. The end of my sim. I really thought that I wasn't going to make it out."

"You peeled off your own fingernails?" I asked fearfully.

"Yeah." This was getting better and better by the second.

Once Jet had finished with his story we all sighed and dropped into our seats. No one knew what to say now. No one wanted to say anything more. We didn't even know what we were getting ourselves into. Not until after we got back from our fear sims in a little while. As we ate I noticed that no one else was talking at the other tables. I was grateful to see that Dauntless was much more demure today. They must have all been remembering their first day during these sims.

It wasn't long before we were called back by Four to return to the waiting room. I walked back with the other initiates that hadn't gone yet and departed from our friends that had already gone. I was pretty sure that they were all going to either go back to bed or hang out in the Pit. They were lucky.

As we made it back to our seats, I took one close to the door and wished Buck good luck. I leaned back in the chair and tried to slow my heart rate. I hated to admit it but I was completely terrified. Much more so than before we started physical training. Buck emerged from the room after twenty-two minutes. I tried to get him to go back to the dorms and lay down as he staggered out of the training room, but I wasn't sure that he would.

Greg went in next and came out twenty minutes later, red in the face like he had been yelling. If he had, I hadn't heard him. As he left, I noticed that he was walking on shaking legs. Finally Dante was called in and I sucked in a breath. I was next. My heart was pounding out of my chest as he came out after twenty-one minutes. He looked extremely nervous. He wished me luck and I nodded at him, feeling like I might pass out.

"Alex," Four said, leaning against the door frame. "Come on."

Four motioned for me to come into the room and I did so. He let the door slip shut behind me and I took a look around. It was a near carbon copy of the room that I had taken my Aptitude Test in. But this chair had something more akin to a head restraint near the top. It made my stomach lodge itself in my throat.

"Alright, go ahead and sit in the chair," Four ordered.

I nodded at him, moving towards the center of the room. I took a seat in the chair and leaned back, propping my feet up on the footrest. Four was standing off to my side holding a needle with blue liquid in it. Just like in my Aptitude Test. Four was glaring at me and I gulped deeply. I knew what was coming.

"This is a serum. It will put you through a fear of yours and your job is to conquer it as quickly and efficiently as possible. I'll be watching on this screen. Try to relax. I know its nerve-wracking watching others go," he told me.

Maybe it wasn't coming. "Okay," I said softly.

"Alex, there's something that I need to talk to you about," Four said.

Before I could stop myself, I opened my mouth and spit out the first thing that came to mind. "Are you going to kick me out of Dauntless?" I asked stupidly. The moment that I said it, I wanted to smack myself. I was nervous and I knew for a fact that he knew about Eric and me. "I know that you know. About Eric. So are you going to kick me out? I'll call it off with him. I don't want to be Factionless. After all there's only -"

"Stop talking," Four ordered. I cut myself off. I was glad that he said something. I wasn't quite sure where I was going with that. "I'm not going to kick you out."

I felt a huge breath leave my body. At least something was going right today. "That's nice to hear," I muttered.

"For two very different reasons. Number one, I like you Alex. You're a good person and a good Dauntless. You're better than Max. Eric wants you on the track for leadership. I agree. I think you're suited for it. I hope to see you in one of the top spots so that you can go that route," Four said.

He had no idea that it meant the world to me. Someone that had once asked me if I had been pushed from the net when I had been the first jumper during the beginning of training was now telling me that they wanted to see me at the top of the leader board at the end of training.

"Thank you, Four. What's the other reason?" I asked, remembering that he had said two very different reasons.

Four took a moment before sitting on the chair behind the computer and rolling it in front of me. "Because I think that you're good for Eric," he said.

My jaw dropped. Of all of the reasons that I could think that he wouldn't rat me out, I had never thought that it would be because Four thought that I was good for Eric. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"I've seen Eric with a lot of girls and never once has he cared anything about them. Never. Not until you. He cares about you in his own twisted way." I let out the tiniest of laughs. "Maybe it's because you stood up to him and maybe it's not. But I know that he respects you more than he ever has with another initiate. And I know that you're the only person he's ever let stay the night in his apartment," Four told me.

Color flooded my cheeks as I shifted uncomfortably in the chair. How had he knows that Eric had let me spend the night? And if he knew, did that mean that someone else knew that I had spent the night in Eric's apartment? That would be terrible. I'd thought that we were doing so well hiding us.

"How did you know that Eric let me spend the night?" I asked softly.

As far as I knew, this door was soundproof, but just in case I wanted to be quiet. A sharp glare fell over Four's features and I knew that he was angry at me for being so careless. "You are aware that there are cameras all over Dauntless?" Four asked.

"Of course," I said.

The only places that there weren't cameras were the apartments. Eric had told me that much. And then I remembered something. Besides training the initiates whenever the season came around, Four also worked in the Control Room. Of course he saw the security footage from that night.

"I saw you leaving Damien Roberts's apartment the other night, battered and bruised. You went straight to Eric's apartment. And you didn't leave until the morning. Not hard to figure what happened," Four told me.

A blush rose to my face and I nodded. "Oh," I muttered dumbly.

I wasn't sure why, but talking about Eric and me with Four made me feel like I was talking about it with my father. Maybe it was because Four seemed almost like my protective older brother. Definitely not something that I needed. I shifted awkwardly before looking back up at Four with suspicious eyes.

"Wait a second. Eric told me that there was no solid evidence that anything happened to me. But there is. The cameras wouldn't have picked up what was going on inside of the room but what happened in the hallways would be enough to condemn them," I said. I could get Colt kicked out of Dauntless.

Instead of looking impressed at my knowledge, Four merely shrugged at me. "Maybe. But it would condemn you and Eric, too," he told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The standard procedure for an attack like that is to bring the initiate back to the infirmary to spend the night while the issues are sorted out. You went and stayed the night in a leader's apartment," he said.

Now it made sense. There was evidence for my case but it would also get me into trouble. "Right," I muttered.

"And that would also beg the question, what were you doing to go into Damien's apartment?" Four continued.

My eyes dropped to the ground and I sighed. He was right. There was too much in that video that would get me in trouble, too. And right now I was trying to fly under the radar. I had already had too much attention put on me in the past few months. I didn't need any more.

"I didn't think about that," I told Four softly.

Four snorted and I couldn't help but to feel a little embarrassed. I liked Four but he made me feel very stupid. "Of course you didn't. I wiped the footage from that night but I need you to be careful, Alex. I'm the only one that sees those cameras but others can too. And they might not be as forgiving as me," he said.

"Thank you," I said softly.

Four was a good man and a good friend. "Just... Do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Be careful around Eric. I don't think that he's all bad, but he's dangerous. I hope that you never have to see it," he said.

"I know. I'll watch out," I said softly.

Unfortunately I'd already seen his dangerous side. And I was sure that I would see it again. But that wasn't something that I needed to tell him. Four had helped me more than I deserved. And he was right. I had to be careful around Eric. I wished that things were different, and maybe they would be one day. But today was not that day.

"Thank you, Four," I said. He nodded at me. "For everything."

Four had done more for me than he could ever imagine. He shrugged me off and I smiled at him. He wasn't the type to get super emotional but he was certainly more open than Eric. Although it was hard to get less emotional than Eric. He was like a damn spoon when it came to emotions.

"Not a problem. Don't you dare get caught," Four said as he stood.

I laughed loudly and shook my head at him, settling back into the chair. "I don't intend to," I said.

"Lean back in the chair. I'm going to inject you with the serum. Don't panic. It will be just like the Aptitude Test. Like I said. Get out quickly and efficiently. Don't panic. Slow your heart rate down. That's the easiest way to get out. Good luck," he said.

"Thanks."

He walked up to my side and brushed my hair back off of my shoulder. He stiffened for a moment and scowled when he saw the bruises. I merely smiled bashfully back at him. He shook his head at me before pushing the needle into my skin, making me cringe from the feeling. I sighed and let my eyes slip closed. It only took a moment before the world got heavy.

It felt like only a minute or so had passed since I was sitting in the chair with Four at my side. I was now laying in a room that didn't look the slightest bit familiar to me. My heart began to beat faster as I glanced around the room. What was I afraid of? The question kept repeating in my head as I looked around.

The walls were painted a light blue and I sucked in a breath. I was in Erudite. I had to be. I knew the color of these walls well enough. There was nothing in the room other than a few monitors. The walls were bland and there was no furniture other than the consoles that the monitors sat on. I walked over to them to see what was on them but the monitors were blurred so that I couldn't see them. _I don't understand. What am I afraid of?_

My time was going to be pathetic. I couldn't even begin to figure out how to conquer this fear. Suddenly there was a clacking noise on the floor behind me and I turned back to see Jeanine Matthews standing in front of me, my parents at her side. My stomach clenched as I stared at them. It was starting to make more sense. My mother's stomach was distended with my sister and I felt bile rose in my throat. What was going to happen to them? My father wore a look of pure fear while Jeanine smiled down at me.

"Hello, Amarantha. I believe no introductions are needed here?" Jeanine asked.

My jaw clenched as a few guards filed in from a door I hadn't seen before. I stared at them in fear, wondering what the hell was happening. Two went to stand at my parent's sides and the other two stood behind me. One stood at my right pressed a gun to my temple. My heart began to pound erratically.

"What do you want?" I asked stupidly.

I could hear that my voice was wavering as I tried to steady myself. This was my fear. My parents dying at Jeanine's hands. I didn't like that. The two men standing near my parents raised their guns up to my parent's heads and I panicked. They couldn't kill my parents. Not because of something that I did. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them because of me.

Before Jeanine could say anything else my mother cut in. "Amarantha. What's going on? What is this?" Mom asked.

My eyes watered as I looked at her. "Everything's going to be alright," I told her weakly, my voice cracking.

But I wasn't sure if anything was going to be alright. I didn't know what was going to happen. "What have you done?" she pleaded with me as tears began to run down her face.

My eyes began to water to the point that I almost couldn't see my mother. I let out a soft sob. I couldn't do this. I knew what was happening. My parents were going to be killed because of what I was. My secret was going to kill my family. Jeanine took a step forward and I wanted nothing more than to wrestle the gun from the man behind me and shoot her. But I wouldn't be able to move fast enough. The men would kill my family before I could get the chance to take out Jeanine.

"Tell your family, Amarantha. Tell them before they die. Before I kill you," she said. I could die, I just wanted them to live. "Tell them why I've brought you here. Tell them what it is that makes you so dangerous. The reason that they're here in the first place. The reason that they're going to die."

My secret was too dangerous. I couldn't tell her. "Kill me. Not them," I said.

"I intend to. Once they're dead. Shoot him," Jeanine ordered.

My screams filled the room as my father dropped to the ground, dead. A bullet hole was clean through his eyes. I tried to drop to the ground and run to him, but the guards were holding me in place. A few tears were running down my face as I stared back up at Jeanine. This was insane. My entire body was shaking desperately and I wanted nothing more than to comfort my crying mother. I wanted my father to be alive. But nothing like that was going to happen.

"What do you want from me?" I screamed at her, the tears falling onto the floor. "I don't know what you want. I don't know what you want. Please. Let her go. She's pregnant. You wouldn't kill an unborn child. Would you?"

She didn't bother answering me. She didn't need to. I knew that the cruel smile that twisted on her face was a yes. And I wanted nothing more than to wipe it the hell off of her face. She was a monster. This might have been a sim, but I knew that she would do this if she ever got the chance. If I ever gave her the chance.

"Amarantha? This is you? You did this?" Mom asked.

I shook my head at her. This wasn't me. Not really. She had killed my father, not me. "I didn't -"

"You killed your father!" she screamed at me.

"Please, listen, I didn't do this -"

"Because of what you are! Look at you. Trying so hard to fit in and you can't. All you bring is death. All you spread are lies! Jeanine might be the one to pull the trigger, but you're the monster," Mom continued to sneer.

No. I wasn't the monster. Jeanine was. I couldn't let Mom die hating me. "I believe you know what I want, Amarantha. Just admit it. Admit to me what you are and I might let your mother live," Jeanine said with a cruel grin on her face.

She knew that I was going to bend as I gave a dry heave. My father was dead because of me. My mother hated me. But then it dawned on me. None of this was real. My parents weren't in Erudite. They were in Amity. In their home. Jeanine was currently on a trip to Abnegation. The Faction that she was planning to attack. None of this was actually happening. And I knew a surefire way to get out of this. Die.

My mother was sobbing on the floor and Jeanine's smile hadn't faded once from her face. They looked like the real thing, but they weren't. I just had to remind myself of that. If I could calm down and end the sim, I would manage to defeat it. If only I'd thought of that before watching my father die.

"No. This isn't real," I told myself. Suddenly the world went on mute. I couldn't hear anything. Jeanine and my mother had stopped moving. "You aren't real. They aren't."

Glancing down at the ground, I looked for my way out of the sim. There had to be a way. Clearly just calming myself down wasn't enough. I had to actually find a way to get out of here. As I searched the floor I noticed that the man that was holding the gun to my temple had his foot directly behind mine. I knew how to end this.

Raising my foot I stomped down on his foot. He yelled and as a jerk reaction he pulled the trigger. At the exact same time one of Jeanine's men shot my mother. A bleeding mass was on my mother's stomach as she fell to the ground, dead. Both my mother and my sister, gone because of me. My entire family was gone and it was all my fault. I opened my mouth to scream but it never came out. There was a blinding pain for a moment, and then nothing.

My eyes shot open to see that Four was leaning down in front of me. I jumped out of the chair as Four grabbed my arm. He managed to keep me down in the chair. My breathing was coming out in short pants and sweat was pouring down my face. Four was holding me down in the chair.

"Calm down. Calm down. You're alright. I promise it was just a sim. Your family is safe. You're alive. It's alright," he said.

I nodded weakly. He let my arm go and I got up so that I could pace the room for a moment. They were right. That was awful. My breathing was still heavy and my heart was pounding as I leaned up against the door. Four was watching me but I looked away from him. I didn't want to see him right now. It took me a moment before I finally calmed down enough to sit at the edge of the chair again. My body was shaking as I tried to shove the images of my dead parents from my mind.

"Are you okay?" Four asked.

 _No._ But that wasn't what I was going to tell him. I was Dauntless. I could have gone through something much worse. "Y - Y - Yeah. Yeah. I'm good. I'm alright," I tried to convince both Four and myself. "How long did I take?"

My voice was very soft. I was confident that I had taken close to a half an hour. My head hung in disappointment. My time had probably been the longest of anyone. I should have known earlier that it wasn't real. I should have known that it was just a trick that the sim was playing on my mind.

Four merely stared at me for a moment before shaking his head at me. "Three minutes, twenty one seconds," he said darkly.

My jaw dropped open so hard that I thought for a moment I might have completely unhinged it. That was the fastest time by far. No one had even come close to doing that. "Are you serious?" I asked.

Four ignored my question. "Tell me something, Alex. What did you score on your Aptitude Test?" Four asked.

My stomach lurched into my throat at his question. Why was he asking me what I had gotten on my Aptitude Test? "Excuse me?" I asked dumbly.

 _Alright, don't panic. Don't panic_. Maybe he was just asking me for conversation. "What did you score on your Aptitude Test?" Four repeated.

It wasn't just for conversation. He must have known about Divergent's. Did he know what I was? Was he going to sell me out? "Amity," I finally answered, trying to keep my voice from wavering. I just had to stick to my story.

Four clearly didn't buy it. "Try again," he snarled.

He knew. He knew that I was lying. Did he know that I was Divergent? "Amity," I repeated.

"Don't lie to me this time," Four warned.

Once more I tried to stick with my story. "Amity," I repeated.

He merely stared at me with the same scowl that he had given me the first and second time that I answered him. Maybe I could confuse him if I went with the story that Tori had told me to give my parents. But Four was a little bit smarter and a little more perceptive than my parents were.

I decided to give it a try. "I didn't actually take the Aptitude Test so my administrator just plugged Amity into the computer. She said that most people go to their home Factions. I couldn't take the test because the serum -" I rambled until Four cut me off.

"Made you sick," Four finished for me softly. My face drained of all color as I stared at Four, who was staring back at me. How did he know that? Was it possible that he was Divergent? Or maybe he had met someone else that was Divergent once? "It made you sick, right?"

"Yes," I said, not trusting myself to say anything more.

He was silent for a moment before turning back to me. "You're one of them. Aren't you?" he asked.

He couldn't have known about this. This couldn't have been happening. This was the one thing that I wanted. To protect my secret from Four. And now here I was, basically screaming to him that I was Divergent. He was staring at me like he was waiting for me to admit that he was right. But I couldn't. Not to him. He held my life in his hands. He could kill me. I had to lie to him.

"Four, I don't know what you're talking about," I told him.

My voice was wavering slightly and I wanted to punch myself. I was practically telling him that I was one. "Yes you do," he snarled.

The breath left my lungs. He knew. And no matter what I told him, he wasn't going to believe me. "No I don't," I said.

He knew the truth that I had been fighting so hard to protect for the past few months. "Tell me the truth. You're one of them. A Divergent," he said.

It was like when he said the word it finally drove the point home. It felt like a stake had gone through my heart. He knew. He knew exactly what I was. So it was time to stop fighting it and turn to just begging. If he knew there was no point in lying. Maybe he would have a heart for my struggle.

"Please, Four. Don't tell anyone. Please, don't. I beg you," I told him desperately. He was staring at me with a face that was nearly impossible to read. Tears were filling my eyes as I begged with him. "Jeanine Matthews, she's looking for them. She's going to kill me or test me or something like that. I know that she is and I know that she knows what I am. Just please, don't tell anyone."

My head went down to the floor as I fought to keep the tears at bay. "Hey, look at me," Four said. I looked up slowly. "I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm not."

He wasn't telling anyone. For now I was safe. "Thank you," I whispered.

"But we need to do something about this. You're going to get caught if you keep going like this," he said, making me tense.

He suddenly seemed panicked, something that Four never seemed. He clearly didn't like what I had just admitted to him. "I can't get caught," I said desperately.

"I know. Come back here, at midnight. It's too dangerous to keep talking about this right now. You understand me? Back here at midnight. Don't be late," he warned.

I nodded at him dumbly. "I won't," I said.

"Good. Get out of here. Mention this to no one. Don't let anyone see you leave tonight. And most importantly. Do not let Eric know about this," Four warned.

I nodded once more at him before standing. "I won't. I'll be back at midnight," I said.

Four nodded at me as I walked out of the room. All eyes were locked on me curiously. I knew why. I was fourteen minutes faster than the next best person. They all looked like they wanted to ask me how I had done it, but I was grateful that none of them had. They simply let me walk past them and out through the halls. I passed through them at a sort of autopilot and nearly froze when I walked past Eric and Max with a few others that I didn't know.

They all nodded at me and I weakly nodded back. Eric looked like he wanted to say something to me but instead he merely stared at me as I passed. I headed straight into the dorms where a few of my friends were currently sleeping. I debated on saying something to Heather, but thought against it as I dropped into bed and fell immediately asleep.

My dreams were horrible. Some of them consisted of my parents dying in front of me once again. Others were of Four betraying me. Selling out my secret. In some I was being executed. In others, the worst ones, Eric was either killing me or watching as Jeanine pulled the trigger. I knew that my sleep was fitful and, when a hand laid itself on my shoulder startling me from my latest dream, I shot upright. Heather was standing above me; her eyes had dark circles underneath them.

"Hey, come on. It's time for dinner," she told me.

"Okay," I said, standing up from the bed.

"You alright?" she asked.

"Fine."

Sensing that I wasn't quite up to speaking yet, Heather grabbed my arm and walked us into the dining room. I glanced around once we walked in and noticed that it was quieter than normal. But it was louder than it had been that morning. It seemed that everyone was trying to cheer up the initiates. The kids were the only ones that didn't seem to be acting any differently. Heather and I grabbed ourselves dinner before taking a seat at the table together.

Buck was smiling at me and I smiled back. As we dove into our meals I risked a quick glance up to see that Four was standing with Zeke. He gave me a barely perceptible nod and I looked away, not wanting to give anything up. Eric was also staring at me, but still managing to speak to Max normally. I knew that he wanted to say something to me.

"So I guess I'll go first and say what it was that I had to deal with," Buck said.

Everyone nodded with small smiles. No one wanted to be the first person to have to talk about their fear. "Thanks for starting," I teased.

We exchanged scattered laughs. "They put me in this desert. The sun was beating down on me and my skin was boiling. Like it was actually bubbling. It started to peel off and soon I burst into flames. I could feel it. And every little bit of skin that fell off was agonizing," Buck explained, making me cringe. At least there hadn't been much physical pain in mine. "There was a spring not far from me. I wasn't fast enough though. I couldn't make it. Four pulled me out but told me that now that I knew what was coming I could do better the next time I see that fear."

"At least you know what to do next time," Jax said.

"That's true. Kind of like with mine. I just have to remember the way out," Heather added. She looked better than she had this morning.

At least he knew that he could do better next time. I grabbed his hand under the table and he grinned at me. "You'll get it tomorrow," I said hopefully.

"Thanks, Alex," Buck said.

"That's awful, man. Sorry you had to go through that. It makes what I went through seem completely normal," Dante said.

"So what was yours?" Jet asked curiously.

"I woke up and I was in this small, dark closet. Couldn't get out. I was panicking when I heard voices around me but the place was so small that I couldn't take more than a step. I felt like I was in there for an hour, trying to kick and knock the doors down. Finally I calmed down enough to realize that I couldn't get into a room without a way out. So I calmed down and moved my foot around. There was a door on the floor. I opened it and I fell through." Dante sounded like he had been the calmest out of any of us. "Woke up a second later to Four telling me that I'd done good," he explained.

"Doesn't sound like you did half-bad," I put in.

Dante shook his head. "No. It could have been much worse. I'm expecting it to get worse," Dante confided.

"Well if I were afraid of enclosed spaces I'm sure that it would have been awful," Jax said. "I was on the train in mine. Couldn't realize for the life of me what was happening. And then we went over the bridge. It collapsed and the train fell under all of the debris. It was crushing me from all angles. I was pretty sure that both my ankle and wrist were broken. Probably my leg and arm too. But I had to get out of there. So I rushed through the back of the train and fell out the back end. It hurt like hell and I thought that I wouldn't survive." I could imagine the feeling of all of my bones breaking. "It's the worst part. Not realizing that it isn't real until you come out of it."

I couldn't help but to look away. None of them were the same as me. They didn't go into the sims and realize that the scenes in there weren't real. It was what made us different. That was the one good thing about being Divergent. I knew the difference between reality and my imagination.

"Yeah, it is pretty awful. I finally found out what I was afraid of," Draven said. He hadn't known what he was afraid of. "My family, dead. When I woke up it was lunchtime back home and I was sitting at the table. Then it happened. It was my sister first. She came tumbling down the stairs, the back half of her brain blown out." I knew how it felt to see my family dead. "My parents followed. The whole time it was these faceless people, laughing. I was petrified but I knew that my brother was still alive. So I had to save him. I attacked them and killed them both. It felt like I was really killing them. I can't imagine what it will be like if I ever have to actually kill someone."

It reminded me of the trip to Amity. When I had seen Eric kill James without a second thought. Four, Cameron, Zeke, and Eric. They hadn't seemed the slightest bit bothered by the sight of the dead man. I had been the only one to jump. Maybe, in time, seeing someone die in front of me wouldn't bother me either.

"It won't be easy. Killing a person takes a lot out of someone. But that's the whole point of this place. It sets us up so that if we do ever have to take a life, we'll be prepared for it," Heather said.

I wondered if Four or Eric had ever been that concerned about killing someone. They were born brave. Even if they weren't Dauntless born. "We're Dauntless now. We'll have to kill someone eventually," I pointed out.

We all lapsed into silence for a few minutes until Heather spoke up once more. "Alex, what happened in your sim? We're here for you," she said softly.

I took in a deep breath. I had to tell them. They had all told me. "My parents," I said softly, noticing that Draven's eyes dropped. He knew how it felt. "I woke up and I was in a room that I didn't recognize. My mom was in front of me down on her knees. My dad too. Her stomach was distended. With my sister. A faceless person came out and threatened to kill them if I didn't admit something. I'm not sure what. My parents were screaming that they hated me. That they were there and it was my fault. I didn't believe her. They shot my dad first. Killed him. I tried to wrestle the gun away from one of the guards. The second that I got it the figure shot my mom through the stomach. Killed them both. I raised the gun and shot the figure at the same time they shot me. I guess I made it first. Woke up right after."

I was a little nervous that Heather, an ex-Candor, might see through my lie, but she never did. Instead she grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "Alex, that's awful," Cole said.

"Yeah. But it's like we said. It's not real. They're alive and well in Amity," I pointed out.

"Doesn't make it easier," Heather said.

"No. But I'll have to live through it time and time again until I can perfect it," I reasoned. "

Hey, your parents would never hate you. And that isn't ever going to happen. Your Mom and Dad and sister will be fine," Cole said reassuringly.

I smiled, not bothering to tell him that he was wrong. "I know," I muttered.

"Personally I think that it was well worth it. Your time was awesome!" Cole yelled, everyone joining in on his cheering.

Despite the happy air of the table, I couldn't help but to blanch. He didn't realize why my time had been so short. And he wasn't Divergent. I knew that now. He would be reacting to my time differently. And he wouldn't have taken so long. Everyone was congratulating me on my quick time before a sharp sneer came from the other end of the table.

"So how do you do it, Softie?" Colt sneered at me.

It was the first time that he had spoken to me since I had been in Damien's room. That had been the last time that I had ever expected to hear him speak to me. I turned to him with a mix of surprise and fury in my eyes. He had no right to talk to me. Not after everything that had happened.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Everyone else's time was way behind yours. You were in and out of there in like five minutes. Not even. Even Max looked impressed when he saw your time," he told me and I gulped. Max had seen my time?

If he was looking for me to back down, he wasn't going to get it. I had been pushed around by him for long enough. "I would have thought that you learned your lesson from that guy who jumped you to talk out of term," I snapped at him.

He paled but continued to glare at me. My voice was so loud that the dining room had quieted to listen to me. "Alex -" Heather warned, but I spoke over her.

"Maybe he's listening right now. Just waiting to strike again," I snarled.

Fear flitted in his eyes for a moment and I smirked. Nothing made me happier than to see him afraid of me. Well, Eric. I dropped back into my seat and turned back to the rest of the dining room see that most people were snickering at Colt. Eric was up on the perch, watching me with an amused grin.

"And I don't do anything different. I just work fast," I mumbled softly, just loud enough for my friends to hear.

The rest of dinner thankfully went without another word of the sims or how fast I had gotten out of mine. I was incredibly grateful as the air turned to something more celebratory. We had all made it through our first sims. It was the perfect time for us to get together and have some fun after a stressful day. We had hung around the dining room for a few hours, none of us feeling up to the party atmosphere of the Pit, and the boys had gone to get us drinks.

For hours we hung around, Heather and me making sure that we kept up with the boys with our drinks. My head was beginning to feel a little fuzzy and I slowed down slightly. Only because I would need to be sober when I went back to see Four tonight. He would kill me if I came to him drunk. As Heather, Dante, and me taught Draven to do a handstand, I found myself yawning. I glanced up at the clock and saw that it was already ten. The boys were starting to settle down as well, and I saw that Heather was finding herself some comfort in Cole.

That figured. Not that I could blame them. I was about to do the same thing. I managed to pry Heather off of her boyfriend long enough to tell her that I was heading out and that I wasn't sure whether or not I would be back that night. She happily waved me off as I headed down the corridor to Eric's apartment. I knew that he was there. I had seen him leave about fifteen minutes prior. I had nodded to him as he left, silently telling him that I would be there soon.

Walking through the halls, I stopped for a brief chat with Zeke, who had heard about my time. He congratulated me before letting me go on my way. I was glad that he hadn't questioned me as to why I was in the hallway that led to the member apartments. I got to Eric's apartment quickly and gave a soft knock at the door. I didn't bother to wait, pushing the door open and heading into his apartment. He was perched on the couch, drink in hand. He was lounging in gray sweat pants and a deep gray tank top.

"What was your first fear?" he asked, not even looking up from his tablet.

Rolling my eyes at him, I kicked his feet off of the couch before planting myself a few inches from him. I probably deserved it when he kicked me in the butt before I could take a seat. I laughed as he stretched back out, placing his legs over mine. He dropped the tablet and wrapped a hand around my thigh.

"Can't even say hello?" I asked him with a little smile.

He smirked at me and I rolled my eyes. Grabbing a spare glass left on the table that I assumed was left out for me, I took some of Eric's drink and poured it into my glass before taking a small sip. It burned, but it was good. Eric was watching me with a small smirk. It made something stir in my stomach.

His hands crawled up my legs, wrapping around my hips, yanking me into him. He planted a rough kiss against my lips. "Hello," he mumbled against my mouth. I laughed as he pulled away. "Tell me about your sim."

"I don't want to talk about it," I said softly.

Eric dropped the tablet onto the table. I knew that he was thinking that I was a coward. "It helps to talk about it. Trust me," he said.

"Did you talk about it?" I asked.

He nodded. "I told Cameron," he admitted.

I raised my eyebrow at him. I was a little surprised that he had actually told someone about it. Even if that someone was his best friend. Maybe he knew just how bad these fear sims were. Maybe, for once, he wasn't going to be an ass. But I stayed silent. I really didn't want to repeat my fear and I didn't want to hear what he had to say about my fear.

"You think that I'll laugh at you?" Eric asked.

That was close to what I was thinking. "Kind of," I admitted.

Plus I had a paranoid fear that Eric would know I was Divergent just by telling him my fear. "I won't. Cameron is afraid of birds. Can't be worse than his. When we were initiates he came out pale and sweaty because they'd flown around him and chased him through Chicago," Eric told me.

That time I couldn't help it. I threw back my head and laughed loudly. For whatever reason I could completely imagine Cameron doing something like that. And maybe the next time that I saw him I would be sure to bring it up. For all of the times that he had teased me. Eric was laughing, too. The smile suited took a moment but I finally sobered and turned to face Eric.

I was watching him with a small smile. "What?" Eric asked.

"Your smile. It's nice. You should use it more," I said.

"Come around more," Eric growled.

Turning a bright red, I smiled. "Just ask," I said softly.

"Tell me about your sim," Eric said.

"It was my parents. I woke up in this room. I'm pretty sure that it was somewhere in Erudite. This person with a blurred face came forward and told me that my parents were going to die. They had no reason. Just because. I thought that it was a joke. That they wouldn't really do it. But they did. They killed my dad first. Shot him. Right through the eye. I tried to get to my mother but she started screaming at me. Telling me that it was my fault that he was dead. That she was going to die. She told me that she hated me. I watched as the person raised the gun and shot my mother through the stomach. Killed both her and my unborn sister. The guard that was standing behind me was holding a gun. I grabbed it from him and turned to shoot the figure. We fired right after each other. But mine hit first. Woke up the second that the bullet hit them," I said, keeping in the alterations I had told my friends.

He nodded and moved so that his legs were no longer on top of my own. He grabbed the tank top and pulled it over his shoulders, tossing it to the ground. I watched him unabashedly and smiled at him. He had a killer body. And a killer attitude to go along with it. I rolled my eyes at myself. _Shut up, Alex_. He grinned over at me, knowing that I liked looking at him.

"You aren't the first person to be afraid of getting their family killed. It's alright. Lots of people have," he said.

"I figured that," I muttered.

"I hear your time was pretty impressive. Just over three minutes. That's the fastest of any initiate. Faster than most people that ever do it," he said, making me blanch.

He didn't know. He didn't look even slightly suspicious. He actually looked proud of me. It made my heart soar. I was happier than he would ever know. "Yeah. Four told me that," I said and he nodded, taking another drink with me. "I thought that I was in there for at least twenty minutes. I thought that it was closer to thirty actually."

Eric nodded at me as he drained the rest of the drink and I raised my eyebrow. I didn't think that I was a weak drinker or anything like that, but I was shocked the way that he could drain the entire glass. I was sure that I would have accidentally spit it out if I had done something like that.

"They feel longer than they actually are," Eric said and I nodded.

Heather had mentioned to me during the night that she felt like she had been in the ship for nearly an hour. "Maybe it'll pass in a few tries," I muttered.

"It always feels that way. I'm impressed, Amity," Eric teased.

"For what?" I asked.

"I would have thought that you'd be afraid of killing your flowers or something," Eric said, and once more I laughed.

Seeing Eric, surprisingly, had made me feel better. His teasing was good to hear sometimes. Leaning over him, I grabbed the bottle and poured myself another glass. Eric was watching me with a smirk as I fell back to his side and leaned into him slightly, taking a few sips of my drink. He was watching me with dark eyes.

"And what about you? Books burning or something?" I asked him with a little teasing lilt to my voice.

Eric laughed and I found myself smiling. He had a nice laugh. I wished that he would do it more. His laugh was something that I rarely heard. Normally he would scoff or something of the likes. The laugh was something different. But I seriously was curious about his fears. What could a man like Eric possibly be afraid of?

"What were your fears?" I asked.

He looked up at me with a raised brow. He wasn't going to tell me, but a girl could dream. "I'll tell you when you tell me the whole truth about your sim," he said.

I froze in my spot and nearly dropped the glass in my hands. How did he know that I was leaving out little parts of my sim? "What?" I asked dumbly.

"Everyone lies about certain things in their sims," he told me like it was the simplest thing on the planet.

I nodded and took another long drink before settling back into the couch. We sat together in silence as I kicked my shoes to the floor and curled my legs up underneath myself. The silence was relatively peaceful and I enjoyed it, leaning back and closing my eyes. I opened them after a few minutes and glanced over. Eric was staring down at me and I smiled softly at him.

"Come here," he growled.

Part of me wanted to snap at him and tell him to come get me, but after the day that I'd had, I no longer cared. I just wanted some form of comfort. So I moved into Eric's lap, letting one leg fall over each side of his thighs. I was about to position myself over his lap, but he grabbed my thigh and yanked me over him. I was thrown over his lap and laughed softly. I got no chance to do anything more. He kissed me roughly and I tasted the alcohol on his breath. It was mixed with the scent of wood in his hair and I smiled. Damn, he smelled good.

His hands ran up my spine and I grinned into the kiss. One of Eric's hands was underneath my leg and it ran upwards, grabbing my ass and yanking us together, to the point that I thought that I would dissolve into him. Eric tugged at my bottom lip roughly, making me moan into his mouth. His hands wound their way across the back of my neck to wind into my hair. He grabbed the roots and tugged gently, making me sigh into his mouth. I wished that this moment could last forever.

It was moments like this that I never wanted to end. It made up for everything that was happening to me. I grabbed him by the string on his sweatpants and pulled myself as close to him as I could possibly get. His hands went onto my waist and gripped me so tightly that I could feel the bruises forming. Even in the cold air of his bedroom, I was burning against Eric's bare chest.

A soft moan slipped from my mouth as his hands snuck under my knees and worked their way up to squeeze both my thighs and my ass. I laughed softly and let my nails trail down his chest, to where his pants hit his waist. He groaned at my touch and his entire body tensed. I smirked at the feel of his muscles contracting. He was so easy. Despite the fact that he didn't think that he was, he really was easy to turn on.

His hands jumped up to my hips and I laughed once more as he easily lifted me off of him, letting my legs wrap around his waist. He dropped me over the bed and I fell, bouncing a few times. He walked away from me for a moment, grabbing a drink and placing it on the bedside table before dropping over me once more. He laid himself on top of me, ensuring that he wasn't going to crush me. Our bodies melded together as we kissed all over each other, my nails raked over his body, and his hands left bruises with his force, and our clothes were displaced.

He had no idea just how good it felt when his hands traveled to the hem of my shirt and ripped it slightly as he pulled it off of me. His hands were rough against my skin as he ripped it away from me, tossing it from us. I gasped as his hands went from my waist down to my thighs and he pulled them apart, jamming himself in between my legs. He let out a small grunt, grabbing me around the waist somewhat painfully and yanked me upwards. I growled slightly, heart beating rapidly, as I moved back and ground my hips to rub against his.

It was easy to feel him growing harder , straining against his pants, and I smirked, loving that I was the person that could do that to him. Our torsos were pressed together as I leaned forward and gave a gentle nip at the skin between his shoulder and neck. He let out a deep growl at the sudden feeling. His hips jerked upwards into mine and I gasped. It surprised me when his mouth came down to mine, pulling me into a bruising kiss. His tongue immediately jumped into my mouth.

A soft moan escaped my mouth as he grabbed the bra and snapped it off of me, throwing it far across the room. It surprised me slightly when he broke the kiss to bite roughly at my shoulder. I gasped softly as he came back up to my mouth, his tongue swirling in my mouth, battling my own for dominance. It was rather easy to see that he was beating me in our quest for control of the other. I was sure that he always wanted to be the one in charge.

My head fell back in pleasure when his hand went down to my breast, his thumb rolling over my nipple. He grabbed my hair and yanked my head back to his own roughly. A little hint of pain shot through me, and I was ashamed to admit that I liked the pain. It was a kink that I'd recently realized that I had, much with Eric's help. I let out a sharp cry into his mouth as he started up the kiss again, his finger pinching at my nipple.

Eric's mouth curled up in a smile, knowing that he had gotten exactly the reaction that he was looking for, as he looped his tongue around mine. I laughed softly and groaned when he ground his hips into mine. I gasped softly, feeling just how hard he was. I was panting as he rolled my nipple in between his finger and pinched it tightly. He yanked me up towards him once more, our bare chests pushed together. He forced me to lean back slightly, exposing my entire chest to him. Despite wanting to be in charge, I also wanted him to get on with it. I needed my release, and wanted to give him his.

Every once in a while he would squeeze my other breast roughly. Occasionally his hand would drop down to the spot in between my legs and squeeze. I really wanted him to take off my pants, but I knew that he wouldn't do it until I was good and ready. My breath left my body as he moved his mouth from mine to my breast. His mouth dropped over my nipple and I groaned as he rolled my nipple in between his teeth. He gave it a few soft bites and I groaned, throwing back my head, moaning loud enough for most of the floor to hear.

My hands went up to his hair and I pulled back at his roots. He hissed in pain and tightened his teeth around my nipple. A sharp tingle went through my stomach, making me roll my hips against his. Eric groaned, the humming spreading through my entire body. God, I just wanted him inside of me. But he knew that, and he wouldn't.

"Eric. Stop teasing," I begged softly, rolling my hips up to meet his once more.

He simply ignored me as he grabbed me around the waist and raised me off of him. I laughed softly as he tightened his grip and lifted me off of him. He rolled the two of us before shoving me down onto the bed, and pushing my hips down into his bed. His hand was on the bottom of my stomach, keeping me from moving.

His fingers grabbed at the waistband of my pants and he easily began to yank at them. I laughed softly as he popped the button and ripped them off. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had ripped them. Not that I cared. He could do whatever he wanted as long as he slept with me. At the force of the tug, my underwear went with them. They went somewhere over the edge of the bed, gone from sight. I groaned as he slid my legs apart, settling himself between them.

He gave me no warning before plunging a finger inside of me, curling it as far as he could. I yelled out as he bit down on my nipple and his other hand wound into my hair, pulling it back. My breath was coming in soft pants at the feeling of him moving back and forth. My hands went to clawing at his sheets as I tried to gain more friction on his finger.

But Eric knew what I wanted and he wasn't about to give it to me. "Beg for it," Eric growled.

My head fell backwards onto the sheet and I groaned once more. The last thing that I wanted to do was give him the pleasure of hearing me beg, but I wasn't sure that I was going to last much longer with his teasing. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to know that he had control over me. And he did. As much as I hated to admit it, he did. In the bedroom, at least.

He added a second and third finger in and I groaned as he stretched out my walls. But it was nothing compared to him. His mouth finally released my breast to travel down my body. His tongue slipped out of my mouth so that he could drag it down my body. He trailed it in between the crease of where I wanted him most, and my thigh and I shivered at the feeling. He was teasing me far more than I could take.

He kissed at the crease before moving over and coming down to my clit. He grabbed it in his mouth and began to suck, his tongue swirling around it. My body gave a sudden jerk at the feeling, and I cried out, grabbing for his pants. The one thing that I wanted was for him to be in me. His teeth ran over my clit in a gentle bite and I gasped softly, his name slipping from my mouth. He let me graze hims bulge softly, but he jolted as I gripped him tightly. He grabbed my hand and he pried it away from himself, shoving it underneath my back.

His tongue swirled around my clit as he sucked at it and pumped his fingers in and out of me. "Eric, Eric please. Harder. God, yes," I moaned, arching my back as far as I possibly could.

He continued to ground my body back into the bed. The bundle in my core was tightening more and more with each passing second. My body was beginning to convulse as the bundle threatened to release. But I couldn't believe that he would actually let me hit my release. He always wanted me to be in him when I did. But this time he didn't. He merely continued, whispering things that would have made even the roughest Dauntless blush into my ear, briefly leaving my center.

That was all that it took. My walls closed around his finger and he dropped next to me, kissing me roughly, letting my screams fill his mouth. I tasted myself on him but I didn't care. The only thing that I cared about was what he was doing to me right now. My body was tingling as I let out a few spasms. He used his spare hand to pinch at my clit and I cried out once more as his tongue wrapped around my own. His spare hand dropped to the band of his pants. Thank god. I needed this. But I needed him more.

My body fell limply onto the bed, my breathing shallow and rapid, as he retracted his fingers and peeled his pants off, his member springing free. It was far larger than anyone else that I had been with, and I was grateful for it. It was the reason that I loved sex with him as much as I did. I wanted to tell him to give me a minute, but my breath was still coming in short pants. No real words were coming out, and they wouldn't for a while.

"Don't you dare think that I'm done with you yet," Eric growled.

I tried to respond to him, but it only came out as a little moan. Eric pulled me up and I suddenly regained the urge to fight him. All of the tiredness that I'd felt before was gone. Now I wanted to see what I could do to him. So I shoved his chest roughly and watched as he fell back onto the bed. He looked like he was about to reach up and kill me, but before he could stand upright on the bed, I jumped on top of his waist and lowered myself onto him, not giving him a chance to do anything about it.

His eyes rolled back into his head at the sudden movement. I groaned as he stretched me out, throwing my head back towards the ceiling, as I slid down his entire length. My legs were still shaking from my previous orgasm as I continued to move downwards until he was buried completely inside of me. Eric's head had fallen back on the mattress and his eyes had gone nearly black as I leaned forward, chests pressed together, raking my nails through his hair.

"Keep going," he groaned.

Nodding, I raised myself up to slam back down onto him. It obviously left him very surprised that I had done something like that. It was usually him that made the sudden movements. He let out a string of curses, his eyes rolling back once more, as I repeated the motion, feeling the nerves bundling inside my lower half. His hips began to lift up to meet my thrusts roughly and I found myself nearly being bucked off of him. So I leaned backwards and placed one hand on the mattress. The two of us were moving quickly, meeting each other's thrusts, both of us grunting and panting as we slammed together.

Finally I knew that he couldn't take it anymore. He sat upright and grabbed my hips, rocking us backwards so that we went sprawling back onto the bed and completely off, landing in a tangled mess on the floor. I would have laughed if he hadn't almost immediately continued. He hadn't pulled out of me, despite our awkward fall, and I didn't care in the slightest. He straightened me out, as we had landed in a heap, and threw my legs back over his shoulders, spreading them as far as they could go.

His thumb went straight to my clit and I screamed softly as he wrapped his spare hand around my thigh and began to rock into me harder than I thought was possible. He was rocking me so hard that I thought that he was going to completely shove me away from him. He pounded into me, holding my thighs apart so that I couldn't close them as my release came closer. He knew that was what I would do when I was getting close.

He was getting close too as he leaned down and swallowed my mouth with his own. His hips were smashing into my own and I moaned his name into his mouth, begging for him to go faster and harder. He complied with my request, moving frantically. All sorts of noises were escaping my mouth as his fingers twisted at my nipples and our tongues battled for dominance. He won the fight as my walls began to tighten around him and I moaned his name loudly. He was still shoving himself into me as my vision became spotty and my second orgasm hit at full force.

I could tell that he was restraining himself. He was the type of guy that would always make sure that I found my release first. He cared more about my own pleasure than he did his own. My name slipped from his lips a few times as his body started to convulse. My grunts came softer as he pushed my legs to the side of my head, hitting a spot deeper inside of me than before. He found his release moments later as he let himself go inside of me, making me sigh deeply. He rode out his last few thrusts as I leaned my head up to meet his in another soft kiss.

My breath was coming in weak pants as he picked me up from the floor. I wrapped my legs around him, neither one of us breaking apart from the kiss. He dropped us into his bed and we rolled over for a second with him still inside of me. I sat on top of his waist, my torso pressed against his for a moment before finally breaking the kiss. He sat up and I went with him, pressing another kiss against his mouth. His hands went up into my hair, tightening his grip on me. We were both panting as I raised up off of him and dropped into the bed beside him. He fell back next to me a moment later.

I thought about leaving the room but he made it obvious that I wasn't leaving tonight. He grabbed me and pulled me under the blanket as he kissed me once more. I sighed into his mouth as he pushed my very tangled hair from my face. His kiss became a little more heated as I pushed him away from me. There was something that I still needed to do, despite being desperate for round two. I was impressed with Eric's recovery time.

Eric grunted as rolled his eyes at me and turned away. I nudged him with my foot against his bare ass but he merely kicked me, much harder than I would have liked. I groaned at the pain and heard him snort against the pillows. That was just the way that we were. And I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I liked being rough with him. I debated on hitting him for the kick, but decided to let it go as I rolled onto my other side. It was a few minutes later when he turned to face me and placed a kiss in the crook of my neck, the few little hairs he had on his chin rubbing against the sensitive skin, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Your loss, _Amity,"_ Eric purred as his fingers swiped the lips in between my thighs.

He had known that it would get to me. I bit my lip to keep from making a noise as he laughed and threw his arm over me, deliberately continuing to swipe his thumb over my nipples from time to time. _Damn you, Four._ Of course Eric would choose tonight to want a round two. This was the one night that I couldn't do it.

Later that night I laid in bed, wide awake, as Eric slept soundly next to me. His soft breathing was filling the otherwise silent room. It was getting close to midnight and I had had to pretend to be asleep before Eric had finally allowed himself to fall asleep. The corny part of me hoped that it was because he wanted to make sure that I was going to spend the night. But the rational part of me knew that it was because he was suspicious of why I was still awake.

It was now ten minutes before midnight and I stood from the bed. The last thing that I wanted was to be late for my meeting with Four. Before I could get out of bed, Eric rolled over. He was half leaning on me and I laughed as a muscle-corded arm laid itself over me. He protested for a moment as I tried to wrestle myself out of his grip. He didn't want to let go of me but, after a brief struggle with him, he finally let me go. I stood and pulled on my clothes before dashing out the door silently and heading to the sim room.

Thankfully most people seemed to be asleep as I managed to avoid anyone on my way to the sim room. Once I made my way into the sim room, I pressed open the door to the waiting room and saw that no one was there. I walked in and pushed open the door to the actual sim room. It was only a minute before midnight. Four should have been here. But he wasn't. No one was.

I raised my eyebrow and glanced around the room as the door fell shut. A hand grabbed mine and I gasped, throwing my fist out blindly at the figure. They caught my hand and I went to raise my leg into a kick that should have been aimed for their chest. Just before I could, I saw that it was Four. He dropped my hand and I pressed it to my chest, where my heart was currently racing.

"Damn it, Four. You scared the hell out of me," I snarled at him.

He merely smirked as I rubbed my fist. Four had a crushing grip. I would hate to be the person on the other end of his punches. Although I was sure that Eric probably hit harder. "Good reflexes," Four teased.

I rolled my eyes, walking forward a little more into the room. "Thanks, asshole," I snapped.

A spare chair was set out and I knew that it was for him. I hoped we wouldn't be here too late. I was exhausted from the day. And I really wanted to go back to bed. Four was watching me closely and I couldn't help the blush that rose to my face. He wasn't stupid. He knew what I had just been doing.

"You're a big girl. I get it," he told me with a shrug, making me smile at him.

"Thanks," I muttered.

At least he wasn't going to call me out on it. He led me over to the chair that I was sitting in earlier and I took a seat, my legs starting to shake a little bit. This time I was still nervous, but I didn't feel like I was about to die. Maybe it was because the secret was already out.

"Alright, we're going to go into one of my fears. I'm going to teach you how to get out of your fears like a Dauntless would. Not like you can. They'll kill you if they see the way that you get out," he said.

"Okay."

I knew what he meant about my way of getting out of the sim being different from the way that everyone else would get out of the sim. They had to fight their way out of the sim. I could realize that it was fake and stun myself from the sim. As long as he would show me what I needed to do, I wouldn't complain.

"It gives away that I can see past the serum, right?" I asked.

Four was filling up two of the vials with the serum. "Yes," he said.

I leaned forward in the chair. "Four, I have to ask. Why are you helping me?" I asked softly.

Even though I knew that no one was anywhere near this section of the Faction, I felt like I still had to be quiet. If Four and I got caught here, I knew that it would be both of our heads on the chopping block. And I was sure that Eric would be the one to play executioner.

"You aren't the only one with something to hide," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising my brow.

"Divergent's. They're more common than you think. And they aren't as dangerous as Jeanine Matthews seems to think," Four said.

Once more I found myself nodding. Now it all made sense. How Four had known that I had been sick by the serum. How he had known exactly what I was. Why he was helping me. I wasn't the only one with something to hide. He'd been hiding the same secret that I had. And he was good at it. I would have never suspected him.

"You're one, too. Divergent," I said softly.

"That's right," Four said.

I let out a long breath. He had no idea how good it felt to not be alone. It made sense that he was Divergent. He was Dauntless to the core, but I saw other things in him too. He was intelligent, he was kind, he was selfless, and he was truthful. It made perfect sense now that I actually thought about it.

"So we're going into your fear?" I asked Four.

"We are."

"You know, I think I'm good. I'm pretty sure that I don't want to know what you're afraid of," I told him, half-joking and half-serious.

He merely shoved me back into the seat as I stood. I stumbled slightly as I fell into the chair. "Don't be such a baby," Four snapped.

I scoffed. "I'm not a baby," I snapped back.

I just didn't want to know what type of thing a tough guy like Eric was afraid of. "If you're brave enough to sleep with Eric I'm pretty sure you're brave enough to see one of my fears," he pointed out.

I laughed loudly. "Wasn't expecting you to be that blunt," I said.

I shoved Four, not that it made any difference, and he grinned at me as he led me over to the chair. He brought the needle up to my neck and I took in a breath. At least this time it wasn't my fear. But there was a chance that his fear might be even worse than mine.

"Wait for me in there. I'll be right behind you," he told me. I nodded as the pinch of the needle hit my neck and I fell.

Time slowed as I woke to find myself in a building that looked to be in the center of Chicago. But it wasn't. There was no Fence and all of the buildings around me were dilapidated. At least some buildings in Chicago still looked new. There was another building about a hundred feet from me and a narrow, metal beam that connected my building to the other one. I had to be at least eighty stories up from the ground.

If this were real, a fall from here would kill me. So would the fire. The building that I was standing on was producing an insane heat wave. I turned back in shock to see that it was on fire. It wouldn't be long before the fire reached the beam, making it impossible to walk on. There was a time limit. I only had so much time to make my way to the other building. Was Four afraid of fire, like Buck? Or maybe it was something deeper, like a fear of the unknown. Four appeared next to me after a moment, looking a little sick.

He moved to the edge of the building, near where I was standing, but I noticed that he kept a little bit of distance. This was so strange. I would think that a guy like Four would be afraid of being Factionless or something like that. Not of burning to death. If that was even what this fear meant.

"I don't get it. What are you afraid of? Fire? Burning to death?" I asked him stupidly.

Four walked a little closer to the edge of the building and I almost wanted to take his hand. He looked like he would rather die than be here. I would have to make sure to thank him for this later. He probably hadn't been in one of these fear sims in four years, since he had been an initiate himself.

"I take it that Erudite was not one of the Factions that you were suited for," Four said.

 _Asshole_. I was suited for all of them but Candor. "Actually it was. Candor was the only one that I didn't seem to have an aptitude for," I snapped at Four.

Four looked a little surprised, but his lips turned up in a smile. So did mine. "I see why you weren't Candor," Four said.

Most of the time it wasn't by choice. I had to lie. It was the only way that I could live. "Seriously. What are you afraid of?" I asked.

It was driving me nuts that he knew what I was afraid of, and I didn't know what he was afraid of. Hell, I was in his stupid fear sim and I couldn't figure out what he was afraid of. "Come on," Four said, pulling me to the edge of the building. "We have to cross the beam."

"I figured," I muttered.

But the one thing that he didn't understand was that the beam was going to collapse under us. I wasn't even sure that it could take both of our weight. I wasn't even sure that it could take mine. We might have more luck trying to fight through the fire. Or we could jump. The hit at the end would be sure to wake us up. And we would have a good time. Four had left the clock running.

"Four, that thing's going to collapse under us. We could just jump off of the edge of the building. It's only a sim. The second we hit the ground we wake up back in the room," I suggested.

He looked over at me with an exasperated face. The moment that I said it was the moment that I realized my mistake. That was something that someone who was Divergent would do. That wasn't something that a Dauntless would do. They would cross the beam and not think about it.

"And that's exactly what's going to get you killed. That's what a Divergent would do. That's not what a Dauntless would do. A Dauntless would cross that beam without thinking that it might collapse. Remember this for the final test. They're going to be watching you. Don't recognize that it's not real. Solve the problems that are set in front of you as a Dauntless would do and make it fast. Don't kill yourself to get out of it. They'll know if you do that," he instructed.

Nodding at him, I propped my foot up against the edge of the beam and tested my weight on it. It let out a soft groan and I cringed. At least if it collapsed, I wouldn't die. It seemed steady, but I wasn't sure how steady it would be once I got to the middle of the beam, the weakest point.

"Alright. Then let's go," I said softly. The fire was getting close now. "Come on."

I stepped onto the beam and sucked in a breath. It wobbled slightly. My foot could barely fit on the narrow beam. I risked a glance down and noticed just how high up we were. It was a damn long drop. Maybe Four was afraid of falling. My next footstep was slightly off center and I screamed as my foot went toppling off of the beam. I slipped and hit my chest against the beam as I caught myself and forced my arms to pull my weight back up onto the beam.

"Alex!" Four yelled as I rooted myself back against the beam.

"I'm good," I called back to him.

My legs were now shaking desperately. I was taking large steps - wanting nothing more than to get to the other building - as I walked and I knew that I needed to slow down. I was being careless. That was why I had fallen in the first place. I turned back briefly to see that Four was moving slowly.

"Four, come on! You're taking forever."

He had to be at least thirty feet behind me. I was getting close to the end of the beam. I would be off in a few more steps. "Slow down, damn it. You fall and this thing is over," he told me.

He was right. If I fell and died, even on accident, they would take off points for being careless. And I was not getting kicked out of Dauntless now. "Okay," I said, my breath hitching in my throat as I nearly fell once more.

"You got lucky last time. We have to move slow to make sure that neither one of us falls. And stop looking down," he snapped.

Finally I understood. I got what Four was afraid of. "You're afraid of heights," I called back, smiling at him.

I took tiny steps towards the edge of the beam, my legs still shaking. I turned back long enough to see Four barely nodding at me and I nearly laughed. That was a rather mundane fear for someone as tough and mysterious as Four. He didn't say anything back to me, but I noticed a nasty glare settle on his features.

"For someone that always seems so strong and stoic a fear of heights seems almost silly," I told him with a little laugh.

"Keep going, damn it," Four growled.

I made it to the end of the beam and took a slow step off, making sure that I wouldn't shake it. I turned back to see that Four was about fifteen feet from the end. The flames were already on the end of the beam. "Four, the flames are melting the end of the beam. Hurry up," I said, motioning for him to walk faster.

He didn't look up but I knew that the scowl on his face was for me. "Very helpful, Alex," Four groaned.

I ignored his quip and motioned for him to move faster. The beam was melting and I nearly screamed when it gave way. Four was only feet away. It fell and I screamed as Four fell with the beam. I jumped to the edge and grabbed Four's hand. My arm popped and my back groaned in protest but I managed to hang on to him. After struggling for a few minutes over how heavy Four was I finally managed to pull him over the side of the building.

He rolled off of the edge of the building and collapsed next to me, leaning on me slightly. "Good reflexes," he repeated what he had told me before.

I was still laughing softly when I opened my mouth, only to find myself in the sim room, sitting in the chair. We had taken eight minutes and nineteen seconds. Longer than I had before, but it was still a good time. Four was pacing the room and I smiled when I saw that his forehead was veiled in a thin sheet of sweat. He clearly really hated heights. Not that I blamed him. They weren't the most pleasant thing in the world.

But I certainly wasn't afraid of them. I couldn't help but to wonder what else he was afraid of, if he was even afraid of anything else, or if it was something as mundane as being afraid of heights. Maybe they got darker. Like mine. Maybe it was both. But I couldn't imagine that Four was afraid of many things.

"It couldn't have been something normal like climbing the Ferris wheel out by the docks?" I asked Four, who laughed softly.

He walked over to me and handed me his bottle of water. I was panting slightly as I grabbed the bottle and drained it. "You did well," Four said.

"Thanks."

"Do it like that on the last day and they'll never notice a thing is off about you. We'll do this every other day to make sure that you know how to conquer each one of your new fears without making it too obvious what you are," he said.

"Okay."

At least I didn't have to do this every night. But still, every other night was a lot. "Go to bed. Tomorrow won't be any easier," Four said.

"Thanks, Four. For everything," I told him.

"Of course," he said, giving me a small smile.

Four might not be what Eric was to me, but he certainly meant a lot to me. Especially with all that he was doing for me. I moved in to give him a hug, wrapping my arms around his torso. He was shaking slightly and I smiled. He must have really hated heights. His arms wrapped loosely around my shoulders before he let go.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I told him.

He nodded at me as I let go and backed away from him. I turned to the door before I was called back by Four. "Alex?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Your sim today. Something is going on between you and Jeanine Matthews. What is it? What do you know about her?" he asked.

My jaw snapped shut as I debated whether or not I should tell him. I knew that eventually I would have to talk to him about Jeanine's plans; they would come out one way or another, but I wasn't sure that now was the right time to tell him. He had enough on his plate with trying to keep me safe.

"You can tell me. If something is happening, you can't fight it on your own. I can help," he said.

I didn't have a doubt in my mind about that. Smiling at him, I gave him a little nod. "I know you can," I told him honestly.

One day I knew that I would need Four's help. But that day hadn't come yet. Four had helped me enough just in the last eight hours. He deserved a little bit of time to himself to deal with these new revelations. He deserved a normal night. As normal as it could get anyways.

"I'll tell you soon. I promise. Just not tonight. You've done more than enough for me today. Let me do something for you and not tell you this. When the time comes I'll tell you," I told him.

A small smile actually graced Four's face and I realized that he looked much better when he was smiling. Just like Eric did. Despite the fact that they didn't like each other, they were more like each other than they thought. Maybe there was a chance that they could be friends one day. I would like that.

"I'll hold you to that," Four told me and I smiled at him. Once more I turned to leave. I grabbed the door and held it open as I went to walk out. "Alex?"

I turned back and leaned against the door. "Yeah?" I asked.

"Make sure that you don't tell anyone about this. Especially Eric," he said.

"I know," I muttered, feeling a little pang going through my chest.

He was right. Eric was not someone that I could trust. "He might be a good guy right now, but he's in it with Jeanine. And I'm not so sure that he'd stop. Even if your life was in danger," Four continued.

Weakly, I nodded at him. He was wrong. I hoped. I walked out of the room and let the door slip shut behind me. Silently I moved back through the hallway and headed back to Eric's room. I probably should have gone straight to the dorms but, after tonight, I wanted to know that Eric was still at my side. For now, at least.

I pushed the door open to Eric's room and saw that the lights were still off. That meant that he hadn't realized that I was gone. After all, I had only been gone for about half an hour. Eric's soft snores filled the room and I walked back towards the bed, stripping off my clothes once more, trying to fling them back towards where they had been. I gently settled back into the bed and let my head rest against the pillow as Eric shifted towards me in his sleep.

"Did you go somewhere?" he asked, his voice riddled with sleep.

I jumped, thinking that he was asleep. I forced my heart to stop beating so fast and fought to make a yawn to come out of my mouth. Thankfully it worked. "Just the bathroom," I said sleepily.

I hoped that he couldn't tell that I was lying. Judging by his husky grunt, I knew that he hadn't. He said nothing but grabbed me tightly, smashing me against his chest. I was a little surprised that he was being this affectionate with me, but I wasn't going to say anything. I liked it. I settled into his chest and planted a small kiss against his chest as our bodies melded together. One of my hands rested against his chest as his head fell against the top of my skull. This was perfect. I just wished that we could stay like this forever.

Eric shifted towards me. "Do I remember you saying that you didn't want to sleep tonight?" he asked.

Smiling softly, I nodded. "I think I did," I whispered.

"Good."

Nothing made me happier than the way that he'd said it. I knew that he wanted round two all night, and I was thrilled that he was finally coming to collect. Eric grabbed me around the waist and yanked me towards him. I laughed as he rolled the two of us onto his side of the bed. He pulled me up on top of him before grabbing my hips and lifting me upwards. I laughed as he sat up on his knees, my legs on each side of him, as he slammed my back into the headboard. I gasped softly as he shoved into me, far rougher than I was expecting. But it felt amazing as I raked my nails down his back.

My grip was so hard that I might have drawn a little bit of blood. Eric merely hissed and pulled me into a searing kiss, grunting each time that he shoved into me, very nearly breaking the headboard. It turned out that I wasn't just in for a round two that night. In fact, I managed to lose count. The only thing that I knew was that the sun was already rising when we finally managed to _really_ go to sleep.

 **A/N:** Hope you guys liked it. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **mmelody6: Hope you continue to enjoy!**

 **Derbygirl63: I'd imagine Eric to be one of those sloppy drunks that can manage themselves well enough but have absolutely no control lol. I hope that his confusion in the morning was good enough for you! I think Tori was kind of a wasted character in the initial series so I want to have her play a sort of motherly figure to Alex when she needs her. And I'm glad that you like the Eric P.O.V. sections. They're challenging to write but I love writing them. He'll be in denial until it's directly in front of his face!**

 **Amanda LopesBR: I'm so glad that you liked it! I thought that it was pretty hot too! That's what I would have wanted if I were Alex lol. One day she's going to get to be in charge! But that day is not today sadly lol. I'm glad that you like Cameron. I love him and hes based off of a good friend of mine :) Sorry this took a little longer! But I hope the length made up for it! And no, thank you!**

 **lovespirit: I'm so glad that you like the M rated section. I always want to make sure that people like them. I'm afraid of screwing them up! It isn't quite going to be a war. More like a battle. I don't want to give away too much but Alex and Four will go up against Jeanine. Something to look forward to! :)**

 **Talia: I'm glad that you liked both of them! And yes I felt like I had to make this separate. That way I made both the people who wanted to M rated story and the T rated story happy.**


	4. Chapter 4

As much as I hated it, I knew that it was time to wake up. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night but that didn't matter. The day must go on. So I yawned deeply and opened my eyes. If nothing else I at least slept much better in Eric's bed than I did my own. It was ten times more comfortable.

It had been a week since my first fear sim and this was the second night this week that I had spent with him. He seemed to be slowly opening up to me staying more often, but I wasn't going to push my luck. I still spent most of my nights in the dorms and made sure to spend most of my free time with my friends. But they weren't stupid. They had realized that I had someone to spend the night with. Thankfully, except for a few passing comments and jeers, they hadn't said much about it. But I was sure that it would change if I ever got the chance to admit to them that it was Eric.

Sitting up in his bed, I grabbed my book off of the side table and flipped it open once more. I was nearly done with it. Eric, on the other hand, was flipping through a manual across from me and grumbling about how whatever he was doing was supposed to be Max's job. The manual was long and wordy. I smiled at him and turned back to my book. I was reading his copy of _Frankenstein_.

Despite many attempts, I had never been able to sneak it from the Amity library. But I was glad that I could read it now. I was currently reading the part near the end of the book where Dr. Frankenstein was on the ship and telling his Monster that his dying was wish to take his creation to the grave with him. I knitted my eyebrows and scowled at the page. Why spend so much time creating something that you could love, only to destroy it?

Sprawling myself across the bed, I read the last few pages of the book. As my eyes scanned over the pages, Eric's shirt rolled up on my thighs. The corner of my lips quirked upwards when I saw Eric's eyes briefly stray from the manual to trail over my legs. Lately I'd been coming to Eric's apartment at night and we would roll around in bed together for a bit. Or the kitchen. Or bathroom. Or living room. We weren't picky.

Regardless, we would end up in bed together and I would read until I was either too exhausted to continue or it was time for my lessons with Four. Which I had told Eric was my self-set curfew. Midnight. He had laughed but shockingly hadn't fought me on it. I actually found myself enjoying my time with Four. It was funny to get to know him as a friend rather than a trainer. We had quickly become something close to good friends but we made sure to never let anyone see it. After all, even friendships with trainers and leaders were frowned upon. It could still show favoritism.

Often times I thought about what I had learned from Four over the past week of training with Four. Well, what I had learned about him as a person. Unfortunately, it wasn't much. He was tight-lipped when it came to his own life. I still didn't know his real name, which I knew wasn't Four, anything about his family, or which Faction he had originally come from.

The only things that he'd admitted to me were that he was a transfer and an only child. I knew that he was a transfer. Although I was a little surprised to hear that he was an only child. Just like I had been for seventeen years. I would always feel like one. Even though I was going to have a sister, I would only see her one day a year. My birthday, along with Four's, had gone and passed without notice. We were both grateful. It turned out that neither one of us enjoyed making a spectacle of our birthdays. I had turned seventeen only a few weeks after coming to Dauntless and Four had turned twenty-one just a few weeks ago.

Despite the good times that I'd had with Four over the past week, I hated having to think about my fear sim. Over the past week I had been experiencing the same fear over and over. More than once I had asked Four if it were possible to have only one fear. He had told me that it was possible but unheard of. That at least gave me confirmation that Four and Eric both had more than one fear. I still didn't know any of Eric's, and only one of Four's.

Four just assumed that my fear was repeating itself until I perfected it. He also thought that I was close to figuring out the fear sim that I had grown so accustomed to seeing. I felt more than a little uncomfortable that I had grown so used to seeing my parents slaughtered before my eyes. This new fear might prove a good change.

Four had been extremely helpful with teaching me to master the sim. Most of the past week had been dedicated to teaching me how to properly deal with getting out of a fear sim - meaning Four's heights fear. But we had gone into my fear sim at night one time and Four had taught me how to conquer it the proper way. I now rushed through the sim as fast as I could.

Four had taught me to run and duck behind the counters the moment that I popped into the sim. I would then wait for Jeanine to come into the room. Once she had, I would attack the guard that was the closest to me and grab the gun, using his body as a shield, before shooting Jeanine in the forehead. The sim would then end, since my parents were out of harm's way. Four had told me that Jeanine would be there to watch the fear landscape and suggested that if she brought her death up to me, to ignore her.

Finally turning the last page of _Frankenstein_ , I dropped the book onto the bedside table and sat upright. I glanced over at Eric and smiled when I saw that he was still emerged in his tablet, grumbling profanities to himself. At least I knew that he did work on occasion. He never seemed to be working whenever I was watching.

I stood from the bed, knowing that despite the fact that Eric hadn't looked up from the tablet he was still watching me. I grabbed my clothes and headed into the back of his apartment, closing myself in the bathroom. I peeled Eric's shirt off and turned on the water. I shook my hair out and stepped under the hot stream, sighing as it hit me. Eric's shower was the only time that I could get warm water in Dauntless since being with Damien. I leaned my forehead against the cool glass wall of the shower and let the hot water pour over me.

My mind was racing with thoughts of the day to come. I wanted to know if I was finally going to see a different fear today. Judging by the pit that was forming in my stomach, I had a funny feeling that it was going to be different. Some of my friends had moved on to new fears. Heather and Buck had both gotten past their first fears. Heather's new fear was spiders and Buck's was heights. I had laughed when he had told me that one.

Draven and Dante had both told us that their fears were changing every day. They had both said that they saw their first fears a few times since our first practice session. Jax had just said yesterday that his first fear had finally changed. Jet and Cole were usually pretty quiet about their fear sims since they had told us what their first ones were. I knew that most people had trouble dealing with their sims and avoided talking about them if they could.

The rankings had changed slightly in the past week and for the most part, it was for the better. Aaron still sat at the number one spot, much to his pleasure. But pretty soon he would be bumped into the second spot, where I was currently resting, much to Eric and Four's pleasure. But Four had warned me to be careful about my timing. He wanted me to take my time. He was nervous that Max would get suspicious. But I wanted that first place spot, and I knew that I was getting close to it.

Draven, Jackson, Dante, Michael, Greg, Buck, and Lisa followed in the top ten spots. Heather had moved up to the eleventh spot. One more spot and she would be safe from possible Fence duty. Cole was right behind his girlfriend and I was hoping that he could push his way up too. Jet, Darren, Sara, and Serena followed him. Jade, unfortunately, had moved up to the seventeenth spot. Jason and Aria followed her. Hunter and Colt were still in the bottom two rankings, right below the red line. I knew that the both deserved to be higher, but I was sure that Eric and Four were working to keep them below the red line.

I couldn't help but to let my mind wander and think about what my fear might be today. If I was right it was going to be changing. Like the first time that I had seen one of my fears, I wasn't sure what it would be. I had a feeling that, at some point, my friends would probably be involved. They were the people that I would die to keep safe. Part of me was wondering if I would see Four in my fear sim at some point. I had become close to him over the last few days but I wasn't sure if we were really that close.

I was sure that at some point Eric was going to pop up in one of my sims. But I wasn't sure how. I just knew that I didn't want to have to face him. I didn't want to know just how afraid of Eric I really was. I just wanted to be ignorant to him. I was inclined to think that Jeanine was going to continue appearing in my fears, considering she held so much over my head.

The door to the bathroom opened and I looked away from the wall. Eric was walking into the bathroom and I blushed deeply. He was standing at the sink without a scrap of clothing on himself. It never failed to surprise me just how bold Eric was. He never bothered to wear any clothes when it was just the two of us. He brushed some loose hairs out of his eyes as he turned away from the mirror and walked back to the shower stall.

I was watching him out of the corner of my eyes as he opened the door to the shower and walked in. I backed out of the water so that he could get underneath it. He shut the glass door behind him and his eyes shot straight to me, darkening almost immediately. He walked under the stream of water and his dark eyes suddenly went wide.

"Damn it, Amity. I don't think you have the shower hot enough," he groaned with a little scowl.

Smiling softly, I couldn't help but to laugh. As he turned his back to me I watched him with my brow raised. His back was slightly red and I couldn't help but to laugh. Eric wasn't the first person to ever complain to me how hot I liked the water. Florian had once used my shower and complained about how hot I had left the water. Iris had used my shower plenty of times and had never once complained about how hot it was. Maybe it was a girl thing.

"Don't be such a bitch," I shot back.

The moment that the words left my lips, I knew that saying it was a bad idea. He probably knew that it was just me teasing him but his head still snapped back to me. No matter what, he didn't like to be insulted. He moved out from under the water, which had turned his pale body slightly red, and grabbed me by the arm. My heart jumped into my throat as Eric shoved me roughly back into the shower wall.

"What the fuck did you say?" he snarled.

I shivered as the cold from the shower wall seeped into my back. But his body was warm against mine. "Nothing," I muttered.

"Come on, Amity. Don't get shy now," he purred, leaning into my torso.

Despite the fact that Eric liked to look tough, I knew the difference between when he was genuinely angry with me and when he was teasing me. I smirked as he watched me closely. If Eric didn't want me to be shy with him, than I would certainly oblige. I moved towards him and, without giving him warning, I launched myself into his arms. Thankfully he had fast reflexes as he caught me underneath the thighs and I wrapped my legs around him, taking some of my weight off of his arms.

He groaned as I crashed my mouth into his. He walked us back across the shower stall and I grinned as he stopped us underneath the shower head. The water poured over us as our mouths moved together. The slickness of the water against our bodies made us practically slide against each other. His hands dug into the skin of my lower thighs and my fingers worked through his hair. He lifted me a little higher on his body and I smirked as I felt him pressing into my thigh.

His hands were tight around my thighs as he threw me up against the other glass wall. I groaned as Eric moved his mouth over my own. His tongue was rough on the skin of my neck as he moved down and I let out a moan that was amplified against the glass walls. One of his hands dropped lower on my body and I sighed against his neck, kissing softly behind his ear.

The day would probably hold awful surprises and scares that would normally paralyze me, but I had right now, with Eric. It was the moments like this that I never wanted to forget. Eric's hand went to the water nozzle and I laughed and he jammed it off. He walked us out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, without ever moving his mouth away from mine. I felt his feet slip a few times from the water but he didn't care as he unwrapped my legs from around his torso and threw me down onto the bed.

Even though I'd only been laying on the bed for a second the sheets were already soaked from my hair and body. Eric clearly didn't care that we were trashing his room. It was almost funny, how little he cared for everything when he thought that he was going to get laid. I reached up off of the bed slightly to wrap my arms around Eric's neck and pull him back down to me. His mouth connected to my own and I sighed in pleasure.

He groaned and bit down on my lip, tugging at it slightly. I giggled as I let my hands run down his stomach, feeling his muscles clench underneath my nails. They followed the trace of his 'V' leading down to his nether regions. I always had liked looking at his body, the same way that he liked looking at mine. Every inch of him was as tense as could be as I left his mouth and kissed against the side of his neck, moving his way down.

In the past few weeks I had learned that it was one of his most vulnerable spots. It was almost surprising that his neck was his weak spot. Eric let out a somewhat pained groan as I ran my teeth down where his jugular vein was and wrapped my hand around him. He hissed and his fingers wrapped themselves into my wet hair, tugging roughly. My head dropped back at the sudden rush of the feeling between pain and pleasure.

His tug made a few droplets of water fall down my bare back. I pumped my hand around him for a minute or two as Eric was clearly trying to retrain himself. He let out an extremely pained groaned as I ran my thumb over his tip. My tongue trailed down Eric's neck and over the spot in between his neck and shoulder. The same weak spot that I had. His body gave a little jolt as I gave a slightly harder tug, his hands tightening in my hair.

He was growing weak and that was exactly what I wanted. I loved seeing just how weak I could make him. His hands tightened around the roots of my hair as he tore my mouth away from his shoulder. The sudden movement almost hurt, but that was just the way that I wanted it. I was still pumping up and down his length as he grabbed my head and forced my mouth up to his.

Almost releasing my grip on him, I groaned into his mouth as his tongue slipped forward to wrap around my own. Our groans were mixing together as one of his hands wound their way out of my hair and drug its way down my back. It almost hurt - as his nails were short but sharp - but I loved it. His hand ran to the front of my body before slipping in between my thighs, stroking where he knew I was the weakest.

That was where I lost the upper hand that I'd gained. I groaned and let out a little hiss as he worked one finger in between my folds and into me. My head fell back from Eric's mouth and I moaned out his name. Eric leaned into me and left a small bite on my lower neck, right above my collarbone. I let out another hiss of his name and Eric smirked, knowing that he was getting to me.

Unfortunately I was always at his mercy when it came to this. His fingers worked their way inside of me as Eric slipped two more into my core. He was getting to me and he knew it. But, for once, I wanted him to know how it felt to be on the other end. So I pushed Eric's fingers out of me, shivering at the sudden loss. For a moment, I almost allowed him to come back to me and give me what I wanted the most.

There was also the sudden desire to throw him onto his back and sink onto his lap so that I could feel him inside of me once more, but I wanted to stick to my guns. So I jumped up from the bed and dropped to my knees in front of him. Eric looked like he might say something, but any protests that he previously had died on his lips as my mouth wrapped around his length. I looked up at him and watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Eric was large but I wanted to beat him at his own game. I let my tongue run up and down his length a few times, my nails gently scratching at his thighs. He was a tough guy that liked it rougher than normal guys did. It only meant that I was able to have a little bit more fun with him. Pulling back off of him slightly, I let my tongue circle around his head, making sure that my eyes never left his. I knew that he liked it when I looked up at him.

He was looking down on me with dark eyes and from time to time his eyes would flicker closed for a moment. The best part was when his eyes would roll back in his head. And that was pretty frequently. His hand was on the back of my head and wound into my hair. I knew that he was resisting shoving him into my mouth. Wrapping my lips around his head I pushed my mouth all the way down him, letting him hit the back of my throat.

Humming softly, I knew that the vibration had traveled all the way up him. He groaned deeply as his hands twisted painfully into my hair, keeping me down on him. My tongue wrapped around him in each direction and I felt every muscle in his body tensing. He clearly didn't like the way that I was in control now and that sent spikes of pleasure through my chest. I sank away from him slightly, only to push him back into my mouth.

Again and again I wrapped my mouth around him and each time I heard a little intake of breath from Eric. I assumed that most girls he had been with had let him lead or had been deterred by his size. But not me. I didn't want to tame Eric. I wanted to match him for control. I wanted the control. Just for one night.

But just when I thought that I might have him, Eric took control of me once more. He slammed his hips to meet my face a few more times before pulling himself out of my mouth with a little pop. I glanced up at him, wondering what had happened. He grabbed my hand to pull me back to my feet and I gave him a dark smile. Water was still beading in the hair on his legs and arms.

"Come here," Eric demanded.

That was when I knew that I would love whatever was about to come. I did as he told and walked a few steps closer to him. We were pressed together and I smiled as one hand came from my lower back to run their way up my spine and neck, sending goosebumps erupting over my skin. One of his hands settled on my waist as the other settled on the underside of my thigh.

Without warning, Eric grabbed the underside of my thigh and yanked me up. My balance was thrown off slightly but I managed to jump up onto him. He caught me easily and walked me besides his bed. But just as I expected him to drop me back down onto his soaked sheets, he didn't. Instead he threw me up against the wall and a pained groan escaped my lips as my head smacked into the wall. Eric paid me no mind. He merely spread my legs a little further and, without warning, shoved himself into me.

"Fuck," I cried as Eric pushed himself completely into me.

Even though we had just been together last night, it had been far too long without him. A slickness was already spreading across my thighs as he shoved his hips into mine and rested his head against my chest. His breath was coming in short pants and I could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he picked up the pace, shoving me back into the wall.

He gave my peaked nipple a quick nip and I gasped as his hands grabbed at my thighs and ass, digging his short nails into the skin there. I groaned and dropped my head back onto the stone wall. My eyes closed as Eric pulled himself out of me and shoved back in, completely burying himself. It had been harder than I'd been expecting. His name came off of my lips once more as I spread my legs a little more. I wanted him to go faster and harder. Waiting was torture.

"Look at me," Eric hissed.

I did have a bad habit of closing my eyes. I forced myself to open my eyes and stare at him. His pupils were blown wide and I knew that mine looked exactly the same. He met my mouth in a fierce kiss and I moaned into his mouth as he moved against me once more. His thrusts were hard and I bounced against the wall with each one.

He could have thrown me back against the headboard for the same position, but we had broken it last week. He was still waiting on a few one. Eventually we broke the kiss as Eric ran his hands through my hair, tugging on it. I used the muscles in my thighs to keep myself up against him, ensuring that he didn't drop me, as he rocked into me. His hands were running over my thighs as my own locked around his neck.

Each time he shoved himself back into me there was a little tightening of the nerves in my lower stomach. I knew what was coming and I wanted it more than anything. Eric lifted me a little higher on him and shoved roughly into me, eliciting a loud yell from my lips. He hit the spot deep inside of me as the bundle of nerves came undone. His name escaped my lips as a rough curse, over and over again as the evidence of my arousal slicked over both of our hips and legs.

It didn't bother him. It only egged him on. It was only a moment after I came undone that Eric could no longer contain himself. He picked me up and threw me down onto the bed, only heightening my senses, making me a little more sensitive as he hit a different angle in me. My eyes had fluttered closed as my entire body gave out in spasms. I was twitching and loud gasps were coming out of my mouth as I rode out my intense orgasm.

Eric leaned down to kiss me as his hands spread my legs as wide as they could go. Our mouths opened and tongues twined together as he gave another thrust before coming undone himself. A few curses, with my name spattered in between them, escaped from his mouth. His final few thrusts were messy as his body came to lay in between my legs, which closed slightly, tightening my core around him. He hissed at the feeling and leaned down to brush a stray hair out of my eyes, kissing me again.

He nipped at my jaw and I laughed softly. Those were the moments that I saw the real Eric, the one that I had very strong feelings for. He kissed in between the valley of my breasts and I sighed, letting my eyes open once more. We were both sweaty with some water from the shower still over our bodies. Or maybe that was more sweat. I wasn't sure. Eric moved away from me and pulled himself out of me. I hissed as his skin rubbed against my sensitive spot.

He smirked at me and leaned down to kiss me once more. He rolled us over so that I was underneath him and I laughed softly as he came to nip at my breasts. Heat began to pool in between my thighs again and I shoved him off of me. As much as I wanted it, there wasn't time. Not today. So he rolled off of me, breathing heavily, his breaths matching my own.

We were both lying on the bed, panting heavily and staring up at the ceiling. Underneath us, the sheets were completely soaked. The sheets would definitely need to be washed from the water and other stains. Of course, whenever Eric and I were together he normally had to wash the sheets not long after. I smiled as Eric got off of the bed, his chest rising and falling rapidly, as he stretched out.

His eyes raked over my body and I blushed softly. He grabbed the sheets off of the bed and bundled them together. He swiped them out from under me before I got a chance to say anything and I went sprawling to the ground painfully. I looked up to glare at Eric, who was currently wearing a bemused smirk.

"You're such an ass," I mumbled.

"Come here," Eric said.

He reached down to me and grabbed me underneath the crook of my back. I laughed as he reached down to me and lifted me off of the ground, holding me in his arms. I laughed loudly as he literally tossed me into the air and onto the bed. I bounced for a moment as I turned to look at Eric. He grabbed the sheets in his arms and walked out of the room. He was only gone for a moment and when he came back the sheets were gone.

"Get to training, initiate," Eric snarled.

"I have time," I shot back.

He looked at me and pulled at my ankles, tugging me towards him. I shrieked softly. "Good. We have time," Eric said, leaning down to kiss me.

Giggling softly, I pushed him away from me. "I think not. Not after you threw me on the floor," I said.

"Fucking prude," Eric snarled.

"Need I remind you of what we were doing just a minute ago?"

"So let's do it again," Eric growled against my throat.

As much as I would have loved it, there were only a few minutes until I actually did have to leave. "Tonight," I said, regretting it almost the minute that I had.

Eric grabbed my hips, squeezing them painfully. "Your loss," he said, walking away.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, searching for my clothes. My pants and underwear were in the bathroom but I had no idea where my shirt was. I rushed around his apartment, searching every crack and crevice for the stupid thing. Where the hell did we throw it? Where did Eric throw it? This always happened. He would throw my clothes everywhere and it would take me an hour to find them in the morning.

"Here. Take this one," Eric called.

He threw me a tank top that he had clearly shrunk in the wash straight into my face. It hit me directly in the eyes and I growled as I threw it over my head. It was definitely too large but it fit well enough to go to training. I grabbed my pants and pulled them on my body before turning back to Eric, who was watching me with dark eyes.

"You're such a joy to be around. Thank you, anyways," I told him softly.

"You're welcome," he said.

Eric snorted at me as I slipped on my boots over my long, ribbed pants. They weren't the best looking pants but they were efficient to work in. As I fluffed my hair around my head, I watched Eric pull himself together. He wasn't in training clothes right now so he must have been going to a meeting. I was pretty sure that he had mentioned he had to meet with the representative of Candor. I grabbed _Frankenstein_ off of the bedside table and pushed it back into place in the shelf, looking over the other ones. I wanted to read another one. My fingers traced the spines as I searched for a new book.

Eric's footsteps fell behind me but I didn't bother to turn back. "Here. Read this one," he said.

He reached around my body, his torso pressed against my back, and pulled out a leather-bound book. I grabbed it from him, my hands softly passing over his. I turned it over and read the title. _The Picture of Dorian Grey_. I couldn't help but to smile. I had snuck it once from the Amity library when I was little. I remembered reading it but for the life of me I couldn't remember the details. Only the main story. I couldn't help but to be impressed that he had picked a book that I had once enjoyed.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome," Eric said, pressing an almost loving kiss against my hair.

A small smile fell over my face. The once fearsome leader now made those stupid butterflies swarm in my stomach. "I read this once when I was little. I don't really remember it anymore. I guess that's a good reason to read it," I said.

He nodded at me as I slipped by him and dropped the book on the bedside table. I glanced up at the clock that he had hanging in his kitchen and sighed. Good thing that we had woken up early that morning. My friends would already be down at breakfast and that meant that I needed to be there too. It was time to leave. I grabbed the hair tie off of my wrist and tied my hair up into a messy bun. I wasn't sure if Eric would mind me using his brush or not. I wasn't even sure where it was.

"Alright, I'm leaving. I'll see you later," I called to Eric.

Before I could make it more than a few steps, Eric grabbed me and pulled me back. His body pressed mine into the counter and I looked up at him, stumbling over myself slightly. His eyes weren't shining so I knew that he was being serious. Although I couldn't have possibly done anything to make him angry.

"Has your fear sim changed yet?" he asked.

I was a little surprised that he was asking me. "Not yet," I said.

"Have you conquered it?"

"I think I managed to conquer it yesterday," I admitted.

"Then it will probably change today. Be ready. The new ones might be different but they won't get any worse," he said. I nodded once more. He was right. It wouldn't be any different than the first time. "Just remember, get out fast."

"I will," I said.

The air had suddenly become a little bit thicker with anticipation of what was going to happen. My heart rate was starting to pick up slightly as I thought about what my next fear could entail. It had to be a new one today. I was sure about that. So were Eric and Four. But I didn't want to face it.

"Wow, would you look at that?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood. Eric raised his eyebrows at me. "Big, tough guy like you cares about a little Amity transfer like me."

My leg came out slightly as I pressed myself against him. He scoffed and shoved me back into the counter, probably a little rougher than necessary. My back hit the edge of the counter and I suppressed a sharp intake of breath. Sometimes Eric forget his own strength compared to me.

"I don't think so, initiate. I don't care about you," he said. Despite the fact that his voice held a slightly teasing tone, I couldn't help the little hint of hurt that seeped into me. "I just don't want the girl that sleeps in my bed to be some weakling that cowers in the back of her own mind."

Had he really just said that? I rolled my eyes as his glinted. I knew that he was mostly joking around with me, but some part of me knew that his words were true. And that was what hurt the most. That something as simple as words from Eric could hurt. Sighing deeply, I tried to push any hint of hurt from my voice.

"Good pep talk," I said blankly.

Eric smirked at me and I let a small smile rise to my face. Eric was a good guy, underneath that tough demeanor. I found myself repeating that mantra to myself at least twice a day. The longer that I thought about it, the more that I realized that Eric really was a dangerous guy, the worse that I felt about what was going to happen.

"Enjoy those meetings today," I quipped, trying to push any thoughts of what was to come from my mind.

Eric scowled at me and I smiled. Last night he'd told me that he was spending most of the day in meetings with the representative of Candor. He grumbled at me as he backed off from me slightly. I smiled and stood on my tip-toes to kiss him briefly before sinking back onto the heels of my feet. He tripped me as I walked to the door. I grabbed one of his shoes off of the floor, turning back and chucking it at him. He ducked out of the way at the last minute and the shoe hit a glass vase, shattering it.

"Dick," I growled. Eric laughed as I stormed out the door. At least he wasn't angry for the vase.

As much as I really did like Eric, he drove me nuts. Without waiting to see if Eric would say anything else, I dropped out of the room and let the door fall shut behind me. I turned and headed straight back to the dorms. On my way, a few Dauntless members said hello to me and I chirped back hello's to them. I had noticed in the past few days, since I had come up to the number two spot in rankings, more people had been saying hello to me and being friendly. I assumed that it was also because I was the only Amity transfer that was set for a spot in Dauntless. A good one, too.

It was something out of a fantasy story. Four had told me the other day that the last Amity transfer to Dauntless had been kicked out after Phase Two. It had made me a tad bit queasy to know that someone else just like me had been so close. But they had just missed it. They might not have done it, but I would. I was going to be the first Amity in Dauntless.

As I walked through the halls I chirped a quick hello to Tori, who seemed to be walking to the tattoo parlor with a man that I had never seen before. I also said hello to Cameron, who seemed to be in the middle of a business meeting with the representative of Candor. Both men had smiled and waved at me. The Candor man seemed nice enough. Although I was sure that Eric would find some reason not to like him.

"Alex!" a deep voice called out.

For a moment, I thought that it might have been Four, but the voice was too happy. The only time that I'd seen or heard Four happy was when we were alone in the training room, when no one else could hear us. I turned back to see that it was Zeke, with another boy that I had never seen before. He looked a little bit like Zeke.

"Hi, Zeke," I chirped happily.

"Hey. I wanted you to meet my brother. This is Uriah," Zeke introduced.

Smiling at him, I waved to Uriah. I moved in to give Zeke a quick hug. His arms were tight around my torso and I had to suppress a cough. He was stronger than he let on. As he let go of me, I turned to look at Uriah. He was the spitting image of his older brother. He was a little bit younger and a few inches shorter. Uriah was two years younger than me, but he looked older. I sure as hell didn't look seventeen. At least, not right now. Uriah's eyes held the same sparkle that Zeke's did and I smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Uriah," I greeted him.

I moved to shake his hand and he grabbed it tightly. He had the same strong grip that his brother did. "You, too, Alex," he said.

He even sounded like Zeke. "You two look just alike," I said, laughing softly.

Uriah was looking me up and down, but not in the creepy way. In a way that told me that he was scrutinizing me. "That's what our parents used to say," Zeke told me.

"So this is the Amity transfer I've heard all about?" Uriah asked.

Normally the wording would have made me angry but Uriah's smile and genuine surprise calmed my temper slightly. "That would be me," I said softly.

He looked impressed. "Damn, you don't look Amity anymore," he said.

"That was kind of the point," I joked.

"I heard that they let you ride the zip line after Capture the Flag. They must really like you," Zeke said.

Once more I laughed. It seemed like the Dauntless born liked me well enough. At least I knew that Aaron, Jackson, and Lisa did. Greg and Serena seemed to be alright with me as well. Zeke looked thrown by the information that I had ridden the zip line. Of course he did. He hadn't known. He wasn't there that night.

"They let you ride the zip line?" he asked.

"They did."

"Shit, they never let transfers ride the zip line. It's typically only for Dauntless born. But you are the one that helped beat Eric's team," he said.

Capture the Flag had been so much fun. Probably the most fun that I'd had in Dauntless. Plus I'd gotten to shoot both Colt and Eric. "Yeah, I did. Trust me it was so worth it to shoot Eric," I told them honestly.

As much as I did like Eric, I had genuinely enjoyed getting to shoot him with the dart. Zeke and Uriah were laughing loudly and I smiled. They were friends of Four. Which pretty much meant that they were not friends of Eric. "You did it for all of us," Zeke teased.

"Anyways, it was good to see you again Zeke, and nice to meet you Uriah," I said to both boys, who nodded back at me. "But I gotta get going. I wanted to get changed before training."

Zeke raised an eyebrow before nodding. "Oh yeah you're in mental training right now, aren't you?" he asked.

The smile slipped off of my face. "Yeah. Started last week," I said.

"Four mentioned that you were all going through that right now. He said that you were the best out of the initiates too."

At least Four had faith in me. But I knew that my ranking had only jumped like that because of my Divergence. "That's nice to hear," I said softly.

"Give it another week and you'll be in the number one spot," Zeke said.

The smile came back to my face. "That's the plan," I said happily.

"Good for you! Don't let the sims get to you, alright?"

He had been through this before. He knew where I was coming from. "I'm trying not to. But it's hard. I'm sure that you know that," I told them.

Zeke nodded as Uriah's head dropped to the ground. He would be going through this soon enough. "I know. But it's over before you know it," Zeke said.

"Alright, I gotta run guys. Good to see you!" I yelled back.

Zeke and Uriah both called out goodbyes as I took to a mad dash through the hallways. My little stunt with Eric in the shower this morning had cost me time. As I burst through the dorm doors I was surprised to see that Dante was still in the room. He was in the middle of getting changed and I smiled at him. It didn't bother me, or him. We had all seen more of each other than we cared to.

"Morning, Dante," I called to my friend.

As he buttoned the pants on his jeans he looked over at me with a smile. "Good morning, Alex. Have a fun night?" he asked.

"Sure did," I muttered.

A smirk was on his face as he looked at the oversized tank top and I blushed. I shoved him off to the side and changed the ribbed pants into a pair of dark grey jeans, choosing to leave on Eric's shirt. It might be too big but it was extremely comfortable. Dante was leaning in the corner, waiting for me.

"Hurry up, I want breakfast," he whined to me.

I laughed as I pulled on my boots before walking over to him, shoving his shoulder roughly. "Calm down, we're going," I said.

He laughed and slung an arm over my shoulder as we headed out of the dorms. We walked in tandem, heading towards the dining room. I sunk into Dante's side as we walked. I loved Dauntless, but it was always either boiling hot or freezing cold. At least in the common areas and the dorms. We passed through the Chasm where the railing from my fall had finally been fixed. I liked to think of it as a positive omen. That the phase of violence towards each other in my relationship with Eric was over.

We walked into the dining room where Eric, Cameron, Four, Zeke, Max, the rest of the leaders, a few other members, and the representative of Candor were all standing together. They were in the perch, just above where my friends and I sat. I knew that if we were loud enough they would be able to hear our conversation. Hopefully they were all engrossed in their own conversations. But, of course, Eric wasn't. He looked bored as the others around him spoke. I couldn't help but to giggle. It was easy to see that he was bored. I took my seat between Heather and Buck, saying a quick hello, and waited for the berating to begin.

Eric's P.O.V.

Eric was currently standing with the vast majority of the other important members of Dauntless and the representative of Candor, Jack Kang. He seemed nice enough to Eric, who had met Jack a time or two before, but he much preferred being in Dauntless. Although Eric figured that, if he were to have to pick another Faction, Candor probably wouldn't be too bad. Definitely not Erudite. Eric would take dealing with Jack over Jeanine any day. He hated Jeanine more than anything. But he had to work with her. It secured his spot in Dauntless.

They were all standing around and talking about some kind of serum, but Eric wasn't paying complete attention. This wasn't his deal. But he still had to be here for it. Besides, if he missed anything important he could just make Four explain it to him. He was currently more enamored with his Amity's conversation with her friends.

They were all currently teasing her over her clothing. Eric was shocked to see that she was still wearing his shirt. Although it did send a spark of pride through him. It was about as close to being public as they could possibly be. For a few more months, at least. And he wanted everyone to know that she was his.

"Cute shirt, Alex," Cole teased softly. "But it looks a little big for you."

Eric was standing to face her table. She was clearly trying desperately not to look his way and Eric smirked. He knew that she was mortified. It was clear that by now her friends had all figured out that she was seeing someone. Considering she had spent a few nights away from the dorms recently. Of course, only one other person at that table knew the truth.

"I like bigger clothes," she hissed.

"That explains why your pants are skin-tight?" Dante shot back.

She blushed again. "Shut up, you two," she snapped.

Her friend Heather was looking down at her plate with a little grin on her face. His Amity's head dropped towards the table as Heather leaned up and began to play with the sleeves of the shirt. She was picking at the loose threads and Eric smirked as it dipped lower on his Amity's chest. She smacked Heather's hand away from the shirt and yanked it up her chest.

"Can we talk about something other than my wardrobe?" she asked softly.

Instead of letting the subject go, like Eric was sure that she wanted them too, Draven spoke up. "Sure! How about where did you go last night?" he asked, leaning into her.

She said nothing as she shoveled a few bites of bagel into her mouth to keep from having to speak. Eric smirked and turned back for a moment to nod his approval. It probably would have been a better idea to pay attention to what they were talking about, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Eric hated the sims and he hated the serums. Whatever they wanted to do was fine by him.

"I was with a friend," she mumbled.

Something in Eric bristled at the thought of being called only a friend. "Come on, Alex. We'd let you know if we were seeing some Dauntless girls," Draven argued.

"No you wouldn't!" she snapped.

He had a feeling that they would. He knew how men worked. "We would too!" Draven shot back.

"Actually you're right. You'd be those morons to go and parade her around Dauntless and get yourselves kicked out. I'm smarter than you guys," she bragged haughtily.

He had no doubt that she was smarter than them, but he prided himself in being smarter than her. Or smarter than she gave him credit for. There was no way that they would resist telling people that they were with some Dauntless girl. Eric knew the way that men thought. They liked to show off their prizes. He smirked down at the table when he realized that Heather was the only one not jeering at her. She was stupid enough to tell her.

They were silent for a moment. "Alright fine," Buck stated. Eric's brow rose. He couldn't believe that they were going to actually let it go. "If you won't tell us who it is then we'll guess."

Eric couldn't help the little snort that escaped his mouth. Four turned to look at him and Eric steadied his face with a scowl. "That ought to be good," she said.

As far as he knew, her friends didn't know that many Dauntless members. He had a feeling that she knew the most. She knew Cameron and Zeke. That was already two more than the rest of them knew. It would be a quick game on their part. Although it could be funny to see who they thought that she would be brave enough to try and get with. And it would be good to listen to something else other than Max's droning on about serum laws. Eric found himself wanting to thank Jack for insisting that the meeting be in the Pit rather than an office. Eric would have had to pay attention there.

The laughter exploded at her table and Eric smirked. They would never guess. They all knew that Eric hated the initiates. And as far as they were concerned, that included her. They would probably just end up pointing to random members until it was time for them to go to training.

"I'm gonna go first!" Jax barked over the chattering of the table. Eric leaned over the railing slightly so that he could hear them better. Of course he had to look at Jack and the others to make them think that he was paying attention. "How about the off chance that it might be Four?"

Eric's vision went red at the thought of Four touching his Amity. She was his. No one else, especially not Four, was going to lay a hand on her. He noticed Cameron laughing next to him and Eric knew that he was listening in on the conversation too. Eric wanted nothing more than to take his drink and smash it on her friend's heads.

He was glad to hear her make a loud sound of protest. "Absolutely not," she said quickly.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," Jax said.

They were all laughing at her as her face went red. It took a minute or two but their laughter finally died down. "Come on, Jax, don't be stupid. Alex isn't tough enough for him," Jet said loudly.

For a moment Eric thought he saw Four's lips twitch and Eric growled. She leaned over without hesitation and punched her friend roughly in the shoulder. He groaned loudly and Eric nearly laughed at the crunch that sounded. She was tougher than they thought that she was. She'd even come close to being in charge with him a few times. But it didn't work. Eric didn't let any woman lead.

"Asshole," she growled.

"Alright, what about that guy?" Jet asked. Eric watched out of the corner of his eye as they pointed up to Cameron.

Eric scowled darkly. "Nope," she said.

"Or him?"

This time he was pointing towards Zeke. "Not him either," she said.

Eric didn't mind Zeke but he certainly didn't like that he was friends with Four. "How about Max?" Jet asked.

She stuttered loudly before shouting, "No, you idiot!"

Eric was somewhere in between rolling his eyes and laughing. Max was at least twenty years older than her. "Come on you guys suck at this," Dante called out.

Eric rolled his eyes with a little sigh. It wasn't like he could do any better. They were just pointing to random Dauntless members. He noticed Dante's eyes scanning the room and Eric's ears perked up slightly. He had always seemed like the smartest of the transfers.

"How about going out on a limb? Eric, perhaps," he said softly.

But not soft enough. Eric still heard him. His eyes shot open and he forced the straight look to remain on his face. He had to pretend that he hadn't just heard that. Although he was watching her out of the corner of his eyes. She spit out the water that she was drinking and it shot across the table, splattering a few of her friends. Eric snorted as her friends jumped back and laughed at the dumbfounded look on her face as she tried to compose herself.

They all thought that it was a funny joke that she hadn't been expecting, but he knew the truth. As did Heather, Tori, and Cameron. Heather was currently staring at Alex, clearly trying to fight to laugh a very obviously fake laugh. They both were as she tried to get herself together again.

"What? No!" she snapped. Eric noticed that her voice was the tiniest bit higher than it normally was and her face was bright red. "I might not be Erudite but I'm not a damn idiot. Eric's an ass and he'd probably kill me if we were ever in a room alone together."

Eric scowled as he heard the conversations below him. Her friends were all laughing and siding with her that she deserved someone better than him. He was shaking with anger, wanting nothing more than to pull out his gun and shoot them all. He was damn well good enough for her. No one would ever make her feel the way that he did. He saw it in her eyes. She might not have ever said it but he knew. She cared deeply for him. In some way cared for her too.

Cameron was standing at Eric's side, laughing as Eric steamed. "Cameron. Eric," Max called. Both men looked up. Cameron sobered immediately but Eric didn't bother to wipe the crass look off of his face. "Do you gentlemen need a moment to compose yourselves before we continue with the meeting?"

All eyes were on them but Eric couldn't have cared less. He was still fuming over the soft conversation that was ringing in his ears. "No," Eric answered through gritted teeth.

"No," Cameron agreed.

He wanted to punch a hole through their heads. The second that Max let them out of this damned meeting Eric was going to head straight to the training room. Perhaps he'd imagine her friend's faces on the punching bags. Cameron shook his head at Max, the small smile still settled on his features.

"Good," Max stated.

All attention turned back to Max and Eric looked away from her and her friends. She had given him one desperate look but Eric had ignored it. He knew that she couldn't say anything in his favor. But that didn't change the fact that he was furious. For whatever reason, being called not good enough for her genuinely bothered him.

"And have we come to a conclusion on the distribution and uses of the compliance serum?" Max asked.

"Yes," Cameron and Eric said together.

Four was the only person that hesitated. "Yes," he finally said.

Eric wasn't really sure what he had just agreed to, but he figured that if everyone else was agreeing it couldn't have been that bad. As long as Jeanine wasn't here Eric knew that the serum would be put to good use. Even though he worked with Jeanine, he trusted Jack much more. The man had never given anyone a reason not to trust him.

"Then you're all dismissed," Max stated, effectively ending the conversation.

It didn't take long for everyone to head off to perform their duties. The majority of the Dauntless members stormed off towards their jobs but Eric noticed that Four took to the staircase. He knew that Four was going to get the initiates for their fear sim. Before walking off, Eric noticed his Amity swatting her friends away. They all still seemed to be teasing her over her shirt. Probably seeing if it would be large enough to fit Eric. Not after he'd accidentally shrunk it. Cameron walked up besides Eric, who was still scowling.

"Heard your girl back there saying that she'd never be with you?" Cameron asked as they headed back to Eric's apartment.

"Yes," Eric said through gritted teeth.

"Don't worry about it man. If she's as good as you say she is, it's them that couldn't handle her," Cameron said.

Eric didn't bother saying anything back, but he did nod. He appreciated that Cameron was trying to make him feel a little better about things. He knew that she would be too tough for any of her friends to handle. Or Four. And there was the most important thing. She was his.

Alex's P.O.V.

The berating still hadn't stopped. My friends had been on my case for at least ten minutes and now the topic had changed to Eric and me. It drove me nuts and made me want to bury my head in the sand. Not because what they were saying was embarrassing. But because what they were saying was right.

"Could you imagine Alex with Eric?" Cole asked, making me blush deeply. They probably didn't want to know what went down when Eric and I were alone together. "I don't know which one of them would live longer in the relationship.

Everyone else, with the exception of Heather, laughed. My friends were having a blast talking about the relationship that they could imagine me having with Eric. I was having a hard time not telling them that he was the man that I had spent last night with. And taken a shower with this morning. They were driving me nuts but I knew that it was all in good fun. Plus I would be doing the same thing to them if the shoe was on the other foot.

"Honestly I don't think that either one of them would survive the night," Dante said.

I couldn't help but to laugh slightly. We weren't that bad. And we had our own ways to make up. "Guys, stop," I pleaded.

They ignored me. "You remember how much you guys used to fight. I mean, you threw a knife at him!" Dante yelled.

I couldn't help it. That time I flinched. To this day I still couldn't believe that I had done that. And it nearly killed me to think that Eric had almost killed me for it, even if it had been an accident. It was far behind us. The boys fell silent for a moment and when Buck opened his mouth to make another comment, Heather was quick to cut him off.

"Alright, knock it off!" she shouted.

The boys silenced themselves and stared at Heather like she had lost her mind. She was normally one of the people that got in on the jokes. "What's your problem?" Cole asked.

"At least Alex is getting laid. By Eric or not, who cares?" she asked. I smiled at her. She actually had told them the right man, they just didn't know it. "As far as I've seen, she's the only one around here who's gotten any."

I smiled at her and grabbed her in a tight hug. "Thanks," I whispered in her ear.

Heather and Cole were technically getting some too, but I knew that they weren't ready to admit it yet. I wasn't so shy about it. Heather was fantastic, she was the always the first person to jump to my defense. The boys went silent and started to mumble among themselves. I knew that they all felt stupid and I smiled at them as I wrapped myself in Eric's shirt. We all sat together as the boys went to talking about the sims.

"Initiates!" Four yelled, startling me slightly. "Get to the sim room."

Another five minutes, of my friends not teasing me about the shirt, would have been wonderful. I stood with everyone else and headed into the deep hallways. Yesterday I had been down at the fourth spot and today I was in second. Eric told me that during lunch yesterday he had sat down with Four and taken a deep look at the rankings. Apparently Four and Eric had both said that my ranking deserved to be raised. But today that meant that everyone, other than Aaron, would go before me. We walked into the room and I took a seat in between Heather and Dante.

"Colt, come on in," Four said.

Colt walked towards Four without argument and I leaned back in my chair. I hated having to be here for the entire time, but the rules stood. I still had to be at training at eight. Being late would only get me thrown out of Dauntless. And I couldn't do that. Not when I was so close.

Initiate after initiate walked through the doors and I wondered what everyone was going through. I especially wondered what Hunter and Colt saw. I couldn't help but to wonder if I ever popped up in their fears. I doubted it, but I was sure that Eric popped up in Hunter's fears. The more that I thought about it, the more that I was sure that he was in them. Probably in other's too.

And that made me think that one day Eric was going to appear in my fear sim. I just hoped that today was not that day. I wasn't even sure what I would see if Eric was in my fear sim. There was a chance that it could be physical. Him beating me to death or something like that. It could be something like him taunting me and making me out to be the foolish little Amity like he had originally thought that I was. Maybe he still thought that I was.

There was also the chance that it could be something darker. Perhaps it would be him discovering my Divergence. Or Jeanine ordering him to do something to me. I wasn't sure. If he did appear in my fear sim, I knew that it wouldn't be anything that I wanted to see. Even less than seeing my parents die in front of me.

My eyes popped open in time to see Aria walk into the room. Four looked a little concerned as he watched her walk in with a strong face. I noticed her lip quiver out of the corner of my eye and I sighed. She always looked afraid when she came out of the room. I wondered if she was still seeing her mother jumping off of the Chasm, even after a week. At least I didn't have to see something that had really happened to me in my fears.

Jason went in once she came out. He came out a while later and I watched as he went and sat with Serena instead of leaving. He looked comfortable next to her and I smiled. I assumed that something was going on in between them. They made a cute couple. Jade went next and took twenty minutes. It was one of the longer times. She looked sick and I grinned. The sadistic part of me enjoyed watching her having a hard time.

Once more I leaned back in my chair and blew some loose strands of hair out of my face. Draven was sitting next to me and I leaned on him. He didn't seem to mind as he already looked half asleep. Most of us that had a while to go were taking naps. I couldn't help but to let my mind wander to what Four would be having me do tonight during our meeting.

I didn't have to go yesterday as it was my day off and that made me happy as a clam. Instead I'd spent my night romping around with Eric. It was good, considering we didn't get much time together anymore. I just hoped that tonight we wouldn't be going into Four's fear of heights again. I would rather go into my fear. I couldn't help but to wonder if Four only had one fear. It didn't seem like it.

Serena was the next person to go into the sim room. My eyes slipped shut as the door close behind her. I was startled out of my little nap when the door swung open, slamming against the back wall. I shot up, colliding heads with Draven, both of us mumbling apologies. Everyone was watching Serena closely. She was swaying slightly as Jason caught her, walking her out without another word. Even though I wasn't Serena's number one fan I was glad to see that she had Jason. And we had been getting along better over the past few weeks.

Sara went into the room next. As I watched her time tick by I thought about how the times had dropped recently. The average time it took someone to get out of the sim now was about twelve to fifteen minutes. It took me about five minutes on average. Darren went after Sara and he looked disappointed and green when he came out later. I assumed that he had seen a new fear today.

The good thing was that times were going down for everyone, including my friends. They were averaging about fourteen minutes. That was fast enough. Draven was the fastest of the transfers, taking on average ten minutes. He was usually in time with Aaron. I knew that the only reason that I hadn't passed Aaron yet was because he had been undefeated in Stage One and would still be able to beat me in a fight.

Although Eric had said that he thought in another week or two he thought that I would take the number one spot. And Heather was evidently getting close to the number ten spot. That was what I wanted so she could be cleared of Fence duty. She just needed to keep conquering her drowning fear. Apparently she was only doing it about half of the time.

It wasn't long before Cole came rushing out of the sim room. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but I never got the chance. Cole went darting off before I got the chance. With a bright red face too. As Four came back out I saw that he looked a bit thrown. I assumed that whatever Cole was afraid of must have been rather embarrassing. Part of me couldn't help but to wonder if it had been something to do with Heather.

That made me wonder the kind of things that Four had seen in the fear sims. I couldn't imagine what the worst thing was that he had seen. I knew that one time someone had been afraid of going to training naked. Four had told me that he could barely watch their fear sim. He said that it had felt too private.

Laughing off the image of Four's cheeks burning over some poor naked kid, I thought to something a little more solemn. Something that occupied my thoughts frequently. Whatever was going to happen between Jeanine Matthews and me. For some reason Jeanine had been laying low lately and I almost thought that maybe she had forgotten about me. But I knew that she hadn't. She was just waiting for me.

It was like what was on the file back in Erudite. She was going to wait until the end of Phase Three, which was still a few months away. It was killing me, not knowing what she wanted. Did she want to kill me or did she want to use me? And if she wanted to use me, what did she want to use me for? If she was going to kill me, was she going to make Eric do it? Would he?

The door to the sim room opened again, interrupting my train of thoughts. I was still leaned up against Draven and I sat up when I saw Greg walk out of the room. His eyes were rimmed in red and his head was angled to the ground. I looked away quickly. It was obvious that he had been crying. Looking at him seemed like an invasion of privacy. Whatever he saw in his fear sim was nothing good, and I forced myself not to ask.

Four was leaning over him and I watched out of the corner of my eyes as he whispered to him. They stood together for a moment before Four ushered him out of the room, turning to the seven of us that remained. There were only five more before me. It must have been time for lunch.

"Head to lunch," Four said, confirming my thoughts. "I'll call you all back when it's time to keep going."

It didn't take more than those words for everyone to get get up and leave. I stood and walked out of the room with Jax, Dante, and Draven at my sides. Jax and Dante had their arms slung over my shoulders and I smiled at the two boys. They really were my best friends here in Dauntless. I don't know what I would have done without them. Heather too. Especially Heather.

We walked into the dining room and I noticed that Draven was lagging behind us, reading through some pamphlet. I wasn't quite sure what it was. Something explaining a new serum that was being produced by Candor. That was the meeting that Eric had been in earlier. We all got into line and I picked up a piece of fish with some potatoes. Eric was standing on the other side of the line and my blood boiled when I saw that Sarah was talking to him.

She was standing with barely an inch separating them. Eric wasn't looking at her, but I still wanted to snap at him to step back. I noticed that he was watching me out of the corner of his eyes. "Just... Let me know if the other girl doesn't work out. Alright?" she asked Eric softly, her eyelashes fluttering.

I snarled under my breath as Eric looked up at her with an even face. In the back of his eyes I saw a little glint of amusement and I knew that he was finding my reaction funny. My fists were balled around my plate as I bit my tongue. I couldn't say anything. Not right now. Eric was my leader. And, as far as Sarah was concerned, I only said the occasional hello to him in passing now that we were out of physical training.

"Oh, Alex," Sarah said, finally noticing me.

"Hey, Sarah."

"How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while," she said.

My stomach lurched slightly at the look I was getting from Sarah. She had a sad smile that was marring her pretty features. She had no idea that only an hour ago I had been with her ex. She had no idea that even when the two of them had been together Eric and I had still been interested in each other. She had no idea that her relationship with Eric had always been a sham.

"Oh, I've been good. I'm number two in rankings so things can't get much better. Still fighting for that number one spot though," I said, trying to get the topic to anything but Eric.

Sarah gave me an impressed smile and I smiled back at her. She really wasn't that bad now that she wasn't with Eric anymore. Eric snorted at Sarah's side and I rolled my eyes at him. My friends looked like they wanted to say something but one sharp glare from Eric made them turn and head to the table.

"Yeah I've heard that your times in the sim are quite something," Sarah said.

"They're okay," I muttered.

"You've been averaging five minutes or something like that. I heard Zeke talking about it," Sarah continued and I nodded.

Eric seemed bored but I knew that while Sarah was talking to me, he wasn't going to leave. "Yeah. I guess I get through them pretty fast," I said awkwardly.

Sarah's eyes dipped to my shirt briefly and I wanted to run away. If anyone was going to recognize it, it was Sarah. "Funny," she muttered.

"What's funny?" I asked.

 _Please don't recognize it_. "Eric has a shirt just like that," she said, looking over the shirt closely.

Her words made Eric's head snap over to us and I blushed. I should have changed the shirt. "That is funny," I told her with a pathetic laugh. My voice was higher than it normally was. "I just like clothes that are bigger on me. They're more comfortable."

Sarah didn't look at all convinced. "Is that so?" she asked.

"Yeah. Alright, well, Sarah it was good to see you again," I said to the girl, who gave me a quick goodbye. "Have a nice day, Eric."

It felt so strange having to speak to him like that, but I knew that in a few more months I would be able to speak to Eric like a normal human being. Although I wasn't sure what would happen if we ever went public with our relationship. It might end up making things even stranger. I headed over to the table with my food and took a seat next to Heather. My friends were all chatting about their fear sims and I tuned them out.

It wasn't that I didn't care about their fears, but listening to them set me on edge. I was more concerned with what my next fear was going to be. And how close Sarah had come to discovering that I was the girl that Eric had left her for. It was getting dangerous. It felt like every day someone was getting closer to discovering the truth. I let out a little breath and leaned against the table. I was speaking with Jet about different fighting techniques, appreciating the change of topic. We could only talk about sims for so long. We chatted for a while and laughed loudly as we waited for Four to call us back in for training.

And just as that thought went through my mind, Four walked up to us. "Initiates!" Four yelled, startling both Hunter and Colt. I laughed loudly. Neither one of them had seemed in their right minds since mental training had started. "Those of you who haven't done your fear sims yet, head back to the waiting room."

We all nodded and said goodbye to my friends that had already gone as I walked back to the sim room. Taking the seat back near the door to the sim room, I propped up my legs against Aaron's as we waited. We both still had a while to go before we were going to get to go through our sims. That was the one annoying thing about being on the top of the leader board. If you were near the top it, it meant that you had to wait all day to get to go. It was a long wait.

I shut my eyes for a while and listened to the closing and opening of the door, along with Four's voice calling the next people in. Jax, Michael, Dante, and Jackson had already gone and left. Each one seemed to be going rather fast. I knew that right now they were all trying to beat my times. Draven was currently in the room and I yawned, glancing at the clock. It was already nearly six. My friends would already be down at the dining room waiting for me.

A moment later I heard the click come from the door and Draven walked out. I opened my eyes and stood as Four let Draven out. "Alex, I'm ready for you. Come on back," Four said.

I nodded and stood from my chair. "Okay. See you at dinner," I told Draven.

"Good luck," he said, walking past me, heading to get his own food.

Hearing the door to the main room close behind me I went to the medical chair in the center of the room and took a seat. I hated this thing. It was so uncomfortable. And it made me nervous just sitting in it. Four was filling up a vial of the serum and I leaned down to retie the laces on my boots.

"Have a shopping trip recently?" Four asked.

I tightened my laces before looking up to see Four scowling at my shirt. Without saying anything to him, I merely smiled. It was easy to see that my relationship with Eric made Four uneasy. I knew that he didn't care for Eric, in the same way that Eric didn't care for Four, but at least Four was supportive. He frequently offered insight to me about why he thought that Eric was the way that he was. It was always good to hear the opinions from a third party.

"I did," I teased Four. He was a hard ass that insisted that I wasn't funny, but I knew that he thought that I was hysterical. "Don't worry, I can take you shopping if you'd like."

"No," Four growled.

"We really have to do something about those ugly pants you always insist on wearing," I said.

His eyes shot down to his pants as he picked at the baggy material. Most of my words had been a joke, but I did mean what I said. His pants were horrible. He wore the same type of pants all the time and they were the ugliest things that I had ever seen. But Four still insisted on wearing them. They were popular here in Dauntless. At least for work. I'd noticed that many people wore them. Including Eric. At least his fit. Four's were dragging limply on his legs.

Once I could go out in public with them, the first thing that I was doing was take them shopping. "What's wrong with my pants?" Four asked.

I rolled my eyes. His pants were terrible. The shops in Dauntless had some of the best clothes that I had ever seen. "This is why you're single, Four," I teased.

He glared and shoved me roughly down into the chair as he passed to go back to the computer. "Watch what you say to the person who's helping you," he snapped.

"Just kidding. You're a good guy and you'll find yourself a good girl," I said.

The corners of his lips twitched and I smiled. "Thanks," he muttered.

"Just make sure that she buys you new pants," I mumbled.

Glancing back over my shoulder, I saw the corner of his eyes twitch like he was fighting back a smile. As much as I knew that he didn't want to admit it, Four found me funny. We were like the brother and sister pair that never stopped picking on each other. In some ways the relationship that I had with Four was the same one that I had with Eric. He hated admitting that I was funny too.

"Alright. I think you might be seeing a new fear today. You've pretty much conquered the old one. Just remember, solve it like a Dauntless would," he said.

"Okay."

He held the needle over my neck and I took a deep breath. Might as well get this over with. "You ready?" he asked.

"Let's get it over with," I said.

"Good luck in there," Four said. He pushed the needle into my neck and I cringed. A moment later the world went black.

The room faded quickly into view. The moment that I was in it, I knew that it wasn't the same fear that I had been dealing with for the past week. The room wasn't blue and that meant that I was no longer in Erudite. Instead the room was gray. Was there a chance that I could be in Abnegation? But what in Abnegation could I be afraid of? I didn't know anyone in Abnegation. There wouldn't have been any reason for me to be afraid of anything here.

Glancing down at myself, I realized that I was in full Dauntless getup. My black pants had cargo pockets on them and my black tank top was covered with a thick black leather jacket. A gun was hanging at my hip and I grabbed it, making sure that the safety was off. Nothing was in the room but I found myself nervous. What was going on? No one had come into the room yet.

The only thing that was actually in the room, besides me, was a gray door. I thought about walking over to it but I never got the chance. The door swung open and my grip on the gun tightened. A figure walked into the room and I watched closely. It was Eric. My heart launched itself into my throat and I swallowed a lump. Was there any chance that Eric was my next fear?

"Eric? What's going on?" I asked, feeling foolish.

He came to stand in front of me, his eyes meeting mine. They didn't have his normal teasing grin in them. They were blank and glossy. I watched him carefully as Jeanine Matthews walked into the room, standing directly behind Eric. Even though I had only seen her for a moment, and I could no longer see her, I knew that she was gloating.

"Eric? Is everything alright?" I tried once more.

Just like this afternoon when I had spoken to Sarah, I noticed that my voice was higher than it normally was. I waited for Eric to say something but he never did. His eyes just remained locked on me, not giving anything away. At least he wasn't attacking me. But his glare said that that could change at any moment. He looked as angry with me as he had the first time that I had insulted him and his family.

"Hello, Alex. It's a pleasure to see you again," Jeanine said from behind Eric.

A growl sounded low in my throat as I fought to see her. But I could barely see Jeanine around Eric's hulking figure. I pulled back the slide of the gun to check how many bullets I had. My heart sank at the sight. One. I only had one. And Jeanine clearly knew that I was running over what the one bullet meant.

"One bullet. One bullet to take care of one problem," she practically sang.

She knew that the one thing that I wanted was to kill her. And this was her way of rubbing it in my face. Eric wasn't going to move and it meant that, if I wanted to kill her, I would have to kill Eric. A bullet through his forehead would hit her. My voice was weak and shaky when I spoke up.

"Eric, move. I don't want to have to do this," I practically begged.

It was easy to see what my fear was now. I was afraid of losing Eric. Either physically killing him or metaphorically losing him. They were both here. I had lost him to Jeanine. And I knew that the only way that I was going to kill Jeanine and end the sim was if I shot her. Through Eric. This was my fear. And all because of the Divergence.

"Eric, please move. Please," I begged him softly.

Eric probably would have either laughed or slapped me if he saw me right now. Here I was, gun in hand, unable to do anything about it. My hands were shaking and tears were slowly rising to the corners of my eyes. I couldn't kill Eric. I wouldn't. He hadn't done anything to me. He didn't deserve it. There had to be some way out of the fear. Four had said defeat it. But there was nothing in the room that I could use to beat it.

"Can you do it, little Amity?" Eric asked, his voice colder than normal.

My entire body shuddered slightly as I remembered that it was one of the last things that Damien had ever said to me. And that was why it was in my fear. That was why he was saying it. Because they knew that it would hurt me. It was one of the few things that Eric could have said to truly hurt me.

"Please move," I whispered.

"I don't think that you can," Eric told me with a nasty grin.

His hand had dropped down to his gun and my heart rate sped up. If I didn't kill him, he was going to kill me. There was no way that I was going to kill him. We were supposed to conquer our fears but there had to be another way to go about it. I didn't have to kill him. I kept the gun tight in my hands as I dashed off to the side, not giving Eric a moment to react. As much as I wanted to fire the shot, I couldn't make a blind one. If I missed I would have wasted the only bullet that I had.

Eric was quicker than I thought that he would be as he grabbed my arm and rammed his body into mine. It sent me flying across the room and I hit the ground, tucking into a little roll. I sprawled out on the ground and coughed a few times. It only took Eric a second to pull out his gun and fire it into my hip. The pain was horrible. The scream that escaped my lips was a sound that I hadn't thought was possible for me to make. I knew what my friends meant now. Physical pain felt real in these sims. But nothing was worse than the mental pain.

Even though I had seen it coming, I couldn't believe that Eric had really shot me. My hip was bleeding and the blood was slick over my hands. It felt like my entire hip had been broken. "Eric," I moaned.

"I knew that you couldn't do it," Eric snarled. Tears rose in my eyes as I fought to stand. The pain was unbearable. Standing was nearly impossible. "See, you don't understand the good that we're doing. People like you, you're the dangerous ones. All I'm doing is helping Jeanine create a better world. Any world without you is better."

"You don't mean that," I whispered.

A sharp pang of hurt shot through my chest, worse than the one in my hip. This wasn't Eric. He doesn't mean it. I just had to keep telling myself that. But he did mean it. He would if this were real. My eyes were still watering as I looked up to where Eric was standing, still shielding Jeanine. There was no way that I could shoot her without hurting him. I tried to fight the pain of the bullet wound but it was blinding. The bullet was grating against the bone in my hip.

The way to solve this as a Divergent was easy. Take the gun and shoot myself in the head. Kill myself. But I had to solve this like a Dauntless. And that meant that I had to live. I had to kill Eric. It was the only way that this would work. But I couldn't. No matter what, I couldn't bring myself to move and shoot Eric.

"He's finally understood what this process is about. Eliminating Divergent's is crucial. They pose a threat to this delicate system," Jeanine said from behind Eric. "Eric, take care of her."

The order was clear. This time she meant it. This time it was more than just Eric shooting me for show. She wanted him to kill me. Time was running out for me but I couldn't just let it end like this. Eric was a good man. There was good in him. I would always believe that.

"Eric, don't. Don't do this. This isn't you. I trust you," I said so softly I wasn't even sure that he could hear me. "You wouldn't hurt me. Not really."

I was more begging him than I was actually talking to him. "I would," he said.

He laughed and raised his gun to my forehead. I cringed as I stood up weakly, barely managing to stay up. "Eric, please don't make me do this. I'm begging you," I whispered. He said nothing back. He was merely smiling at me, his gun still trained between my eyes. "Eric, move. Please move."

I didn't want to do this. He didn't move, instead he just cocked the gun. "Not today, little Amity," he said.

Now I was desperate. It didn't have to end like this. "Eric, move!" I yelled.

He stayed standing where he was. His finger took up the slack in the trigger and I knew that my time was out. I had done everything possible and he wouldn't move. There was only one choice. Eric wouldn't move and I had no idea what else I could have done. So I raised the gun faster than he could and fired. The round shot directly through his forehead and he fell to the ground. A fraction of a second later Jeanine followed.

The bullet went clean through both of them. They were both lying on the ground with blood pooling around their heads. The back of Eric's skull was blown off, chunks of bone scattered on the ground, and his eyes were blank. My knees gave out underneath me and I collapsed, letting out a deafening scream.

My eyes shot open and I found myself laying in the chair back in the sim room. My breath caught in my throat and I gasped loudly. I jumped from the chair and paced the room. Making a few trips back and forth, I grabbed my hair out of the bun and ran my fingers through it. My breath was coming in short gasps and my eyes were still watering. I couldn't believe that I had done it. I had really killed Eric. My knees were shaking under my weight and I fell against the wall, nearly dropping down completely.

"Hey, calm down. You did well," Four said softly. He came in front of me and leaned down to my height, as I was kneeling against the wall. I shook my head pathetically at him. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head at him and let out a few more breaths. My breathing was going slowly back to normal but I was still shaking. "No, Four. No, I'm not alright," I said softly and somewhat irritably.

My knees collapsed under me and I sank to the ground. Four was still kneeling in front of me. "You're alright," Four said, placing a hand on my knee.

"I can't believe that I really did it," I said. I wasn't really sure whether I was talking to myself or Four. "Why couldn't he have moved? And he fucking shot me."

Shaking slightly, I leaned down and reached for my hip. The skin was unbroken and in contact. Four saw what I was doing and he reached over to grab my hand. I could see that in his eyes he felt terrible for me. My breathing was still ragged as I drove my free palm into my eyes.

"That's the point of these fear sims," Four said, his voice quieter than I had ever heard. "They give you the absolute worst case scenario and see if you could actually do it."

I shook my head at him and squeezed his hand. "Apparently I can," I whispered.

This was worse than my first fear. My first fear could be real but I knew that there was very little chance of it actually happening. This was different. There was a damn good chance that this would happen. I had a feeling that it would happen at any moment now. There was definitely a chance that it could.

"He wouldn't shoot you," Four said.

I snorted and shook my head. I knew that if push comes to shove Eric would kill me. If it meant that his place in Dauntless was secure, he would. "Yes, he would," I said.

"No he wouldn't."

There was nothing that he could say that would change my mind. "Yes, he would," I said softly, knowing that it was the truth.

"How do you know that?" he asked.

"If it was to protect Dauntless and his position here... he would shoot me. I don't doubt that," I said.

Four sighed and shook his head. He leaned over me and grabbed a cup of water, handing it back to me to drink. I took it from him and swallowed a little bit, nearly spilling it all over myself. My hands were shaking too badly for me to actually hold something. I set the cup of water down, shivering when my hands brushed the spot where Eric had shot me.

"How long was I in there for?" I asked Four.

I had to think about something else. "Six minutes, eight seconds," Four said. It had felt like I was in there for hours, locked in a silent battle with Eric. It was a little longer than my average time. "Not too bad for someone that got out the Dauntless way. You need to learn to do it faster."

I knew that it wasn't because my time was poor. My time was outstanding. The problem was that Jeanine had directly said something about the Divergent problem. I needed to kill her before she could say anything. People would be there watching me, including Jeanine, and they couldn't hear her say that.

"Okay," I muttered.

"The second that you see them come out there together, shoot them. Don't give them a moment to talk," he said.

"Okay."

"Alex, this isn't going to happen in real life," Four said softly.

He had no idea what was going to happen. Eric was working with Jeanine. I was in danger being with Eric. But I couldn't stop. "How do you know that?" I asked Four pathetically.

My voice was so soft that it didn't even sound like my voice. I had never felt this weak before. That was what Eric did to me. Four looked like he was in between crying for me and giving me a hug. Maybe even slapping me. I would probably deserve it. I needed to snap out of it. But I wasn't sure how.

"Because I might not like Eric but I do know him. I've known him for a long time," Four said. Four years was certainly long enough to get to know someone well. I had only known Heather for a few months and I felt like I had known her for all of her life. "He's never once cared about any of the people here in Dauntless. Maybe Cameron. That's it. He's cared about himself and his position. That's no way for anyone to live. But then he found you."

Despite my best efforts, a blush flooded my cheeks. "That's not true," I muttered.

"It is. You are someone that, despite his best efforts, he genuinely cares about. Eric might have a hard time accepting it if the truth about you ever comes out but he will. I know that he will. He would never kill you. No matter what Jeanine says," Four argued.

It didn't matter what he said about Eric and me. He might care about me. There was a chance that he could leave me be and help protect me. But that was something that I thought about in my dreams. There was no way that Eric would ever give himself up to save me. That wasn't the type of man that he was.

"But you aren't saying that because you genuinely believe it," I told Four softly.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You're saying it because you know that it's what I want to hear."

Four shook his head and I almost thought that he would slap me. This whiny and desperate version of me wasn't me. "You're wrong," Four snapped.

"I'm not."

"You are. You aren't as smart as you like to think. If I really thought that Eric would kill you, I would tell you. I don't. Honestly I don't know what he would do if he found out. But every fiber of my being tells me that he wouldn't kill you," he told me and I sighed. He would. "Me? Now that's another story."

Despite everything, I couldn't help but to crack a small smile. That one I couldn't argue with Four. It was no secret that Eric hated Four. I wiped a few tears out of my eyes and sighed deeply. This was when it came in handy to have Four as a friend, rather than a trainer. He was a good friend.

"No. He wouldn't kill you. You might be an ass, Four, but some part of me likes you," I said.

Four gave me a small smile and I smiled back at him. I wished that he would smile more often. It looked good on him. "Some part of me likes you too," he said.

"I wouldn't let him kill you."

And I meant it. I really would defend Four if I needed to. He was the one that was risking everything to keep me and my secret safe. Four gave me a quick hug and I smiled into his shoulder. He was a good person to have around. My friends were wrong about Four being always stoic and never happy. He was a great man and a great friend.

"Alright, I'll hold you to that," Four said. I smiled once more. We might have started on rocky terms, but we were friends now. With a secret that held us together like glue. "Get out of here. You're taking too long. Go get dinner and see Eric tonight."

"I'll try," I said. I wasn't sure that I could go and see him. I had no idea what I would be able to say to him.

"Come back here at midnight and we'll work on that fear. We need you conquering it as fast as possible," he said.

"Okay."

He gave me a hand and I stood, heading out the door. I chirped back a quick thanks to Four and wished Aaron good luck before heading out of the fear sim room as the door closed behind Aaron. As quickly as possible I headed back to the dining room. The only thing that I wanted was to be back with my friends and forget about this stupid fear. As I passed through the Chasm I glanced to the water and looked at my reflection. A grimace was quick to splay across my face. My eyes were a little red from crying.

It was obvious that I'd had a bad time. I hated looking so weak. It was obvious that what I had seen in my fear sim had gotten to me. I knew that by the time I forced myself to Eric's apartment, I was going to have to buck up. He wouldn't let me live it down for looking weak. I walked into the dining room and grabbed dinner before heading to the table.

Heather scooted over so that I had room in between her and Buck. Dante let his leg fall from the table so that I could sit down. Heather's eyebrow raised so that she was looking at me, but one shake of the head told her that I would explain it to her later. She nodded and looked back at her food.

"Hey, Alex, training go alright?" Dante asked, clearly trying to break the tense air.

Smiling at him as best as I could, I nodded slowly. "About as good as can be expected. I don't really want to talk about it," I said softly.

My friends all nodded, knowing that it was tough. They all knew that if I was having a hard time with it, my fear must have been bad. Most days we only went briefly over what had happened during our fear sims. It seemed that today my words had ended the conversation.

"So what have you guys been up to?" I asked, not wanting to have to suffer the silence between my friends.

Everyone went to chatting about their days and I smiled as we all joked and laughed together. Food was being thrown back and forth and I laughed. My friends were the best to have around on a bad day. A few Dauntless born were sitting with us and I smiled. I liked the Dauntless born and I was glad that we were all interacting more now. Although I still found it funny that my friends didn't know about the zip line.

"Alex?" Heather called, breaking my concentration.

I had been nibbling on the leftovers of Buck's cake. "What's up?" I asked.

She was wearing a smile but there was a hint of worry in the back of her eyes. Probably because I'd been so quiet today and because of the obvious way that I had been on the verge of tears earlier. "Can I see you for a second?" she asked.

"Sure," I said, getting to my feet.

We walked over to the side of the Pit, where it was quieter and no one could hear us talking. "What's going on? What did you see in your fear sim today?" Heather asked. I knew that we would eventually have this conversation. "You're never this quiet and you've never just backed down from a talk about the fear sims."

I sighed and took a seat at one of the tables that was lining the edge of the Pit. Heather took a seat across from me and we both leaned into each other, keeping our voices low. I should have known that Heather would know that my change of demeanor was from something serious.

"My fear sim changed for the first time," I told her.

"What was it?"

"I was in this room, alone. Eric walked in. He was defending this woman that was telling him to kill me. He was listening to her. I had to kill her. But he was standing right in front of her. He wouldn't move. I begged him to but he wouldn't. I tried to get around him to shoot her but he was faster. He shot me. Right in the hip. He was going to shoot me in the head if I didn't get there first. So I did it. I can't believe that I actually did it. I shot him. The bullet went through him and hit her. But I still did it. I killed him," I said, my voice cracking near the end.

Heather's hand shot up to her mouth. I knew that she wasn't expecting that one. "Oh, Alex. I'm so sorry. That's awful. I can't believe that you actually had to do that. I couldn't imagine what would happen if I'd had to kill Cole. I would have never made it. But honey, he wouldn't ever hurt you," she said.

She grabbed my hand, holding it tightly, just the way that Four had done earlier. "Yes, he would," I muttered.

"No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't kill you either. He cares about you. Trust me, Eric is a hard-ass but he would never hurt you," she said.

Shaking my head at her, I dropped against the seat. No one understood that if push came to shove and Eric found out who I really was, he would kill me. "That's just it, Heather. He would. He would kill me. If he really needed to," I said.

She shook her head. "He wouldn't," she said determinedly.

"That was the whole point of the fear. Not necessarily having to kill him but being afraid that he would kill me if need be," I said.

She shook her head and I scoffed loudly. I knew that she wouldn't believe me. "What reason would he have to kill you?" Heather asked.

"It doesn't matter," I said.

I couldn't risk having her know the truth. It wouldn't be safe for her to know what I was. "Alex, he is not going to kill you. Or hurt you," she said.

But she didn't know what he was capable of. "He will," I muttered.

"Eric might be an ass and he's hurt you a few times before. But he's changed. It's like you tell me about the times that the two of you are together. He's warming up to you. He might not be in love but he does care about you. He's the type of guy that would sacrifice himself for someone that he genuinely cares about. And that person is you," she said.

The thought of him saving me at his own personal risk warmed my heart but it quickly cooled down. As much as I wanted Eric to be that guy, I knew that he never would. He was not my knight in shining armor. I'd known that for a long time, despite the fact that he had saved me a few times. I didn't even want him to be that kind of guy. I just wanted to know that he would stand by me. But he wouldn't. Not once he knew what I was.

"No it isn't, Heather. It isn't," I insisted when she looked like she might interrupt me. "It's not that I don't think that he cares about me but I think that if he really needs to take care of a problem, he will. Even if that problem is me."

We sat in silence for a moment and I waited for Heather to say something. For the moment I was out of words. I had nothing left to say to her. There was nothing left for me to say. As much as I wanted to think that Eric was a good man, he wasn't. I had no argument that he was. She knew where I stood on the Eric issue.

"Get up," Heather snapped.

My eyes widened as I stared at her. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"You heard me, get up. Come on," she snarled again.

I stood slowly and watched as Heather jumped from her spot. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Come on," she said, otherwise ignoring me.

She made a move to leave, but the moment that she saw that I was rooted in my spot, she came back and dragged me away. Heather grabbed onto my arm and started to drag me down the hallway to the Dauntless member apartments. I stumbled over my feet slightly as we walked, tripping a little bit. Heather was ahead of me, muttering to herself irritably.

"Which apartment is Eric's?" she asked.

"That one," I said.

I knew that Eric would be in there. He had told me earlier today that he would be back in his apartment right after dinner. I figured that he had work to do. Heather stopped in front of the door and my breath caught in my throat. I should have told her the wrong one. She held my arm tightly in her own and I knew that there was no way that I could get away from her.

She turned back to me with her hands on her hips. "Okay, you're going to go in there and enjoy a night with your boyfriend," Heather said.

My eyebrows raised and I let out a little laugh though. Eric was not my boyfriend. I had a feeling that he would never be my boyfriend. He wasn't that kind of guy. In fact, I wasn't sure what he was. But he certainly wasn't my boyfriend. At least, he'd never made any mention of it.

"He's not my boyfriend," I said.

"Whatever he is!" she shouted, making me jump slightly. "I don't care. Just get in there and don't you dare come back for at least another hour."

"Heather -"

I made another move to argue with her, but I was too late. Before I could stop her, Heather knocked on the door loudly enough for Eric to hear. My heart dropped and I jumped to run off before Eric could open the door. Unfortunately I didn't get the chance. The door swung open and Heather shoved me into Eric.

"Goodnight!" she yelled, dashing off.

Part of me wanted to run back and slap Heather, but the other part of me wanted to thank her. Either way, it was too late to do anything. She was long gone and not coming back. In the meantime, I was standing pressed up against Eric. The same Eric who I had killed earlier. The same Eric who had shot me.

"Evening," he purred.

"Hey," I muttered.

He was looking down at me, and I was sure that I looked extremely frazzled. I felt extremely frazzled. He didn't seem to mind what I looked like as he smirked down at me. I stepped past him and walked into his apartment, keeping my gaze down at the ground. I couldn't look at him without seeing his body in front of me. I really didn't want to remember the look on his face as he shot me. He had looked almost happy to do it.

"Did your friend have to drag you here?" Eric asked as we walked back into the apartment.

"No," I snapped, knowing that I had spoken too fast. "No, I was just going to go and take a shower before coming here. She just thought that I should come straight here."

Unfortunately I wasn't the best liar in the world. For now, I was just hoping that Eric would buy into my lie. He stared at me for a moment but finally nodded. I was sure that he didn't really believe me. Not that I blamed him. It wasn't believable. He was wearing a black vest over a black shirt and a pair of dark gray pants. He looked like he had just come from a meeting. He had told me earlier that he would be in meetings all day.

"How was your day?" I asked, trying to stop the barrage of images of his dead body that my brain kept playing.

His face fell and I knew immediately that I shouldn't have said what I had. Eric and I never asked each other how our days were. There was no need to ask how our days were. We always had things to say to each other. The conversation was forced. We always fell into an easy conversation. He knew that there was something wrong with me. He wasn't stupid.

"Did you just ask me how my day was?" he asked.

I nodded weakly, hoping that he would let it go. "Well, yeah," I muttered.

It felt so strange to be here after just hours ago I had been forced to have to kill Eric, who had been more than happy to shoot me. Even worse, it had been after he had threatened to kill me. All I wanted right now was to leave. I could come back once I'd gotten over my fear. Right now, this was too much for me to handle.

"What's your problem?" Eric asked sharply.

I was still standing over near his kitchen counter as Eric set down the drink in his hand and made his way over to me. My hands started to shake with nerves. I tried to force a normal look onto my face and smile at Eric, but it was hard. Especially now that the gears were turning in his head.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to play stupid.

It was a game that I was pretty good at after years or playing it with my parents and the rest of Amity. But Eric was smarter than I liked to give him credit for. Not that I was surprised at how quickly he'd figured it out. He used to be an Erudite. He could easily outsmart a foolish little ex-Amity.

"You didn't want to come here," Eric said.

It wasn't a question. I shook my head at him. "Of course I did," I said quickly.

Even though he was completely right I didn't want him to know that. "No, you didn't. I can see it. You don't want to be here," he said.

"I want to be here," I mumbled.

Eric was advancing on me as I backed up as far as I could into the counter. I was trembling slightly as he walked up to stand in front of me, fighting to ensure that he couldn't tell. He really was a good guy. He was a nice guy when it was just the two of us, but he would never be the right guy.

"What's wrong, Amity?" Eric asked, a teasing glint in his eyes.

My entire body gave a little shudder. As much as I liked having him near me, I wanted nothing more than to shove Eric away. All his words did were remind me of what he had told me in my fear sim. Eric took another step closer and I had to suppress the urge to tell him to back away from me.

"Nothing, Eric. Look I just want to sit down or something," I practically begged with him. "Do you have a drink?"

It might have been nice to have some courage for the conversation that I knew was coming soon. Eric merely stared at me for a moment before pressing himself into me. Any chance that I'd had of escaping before had gone flying out the window. He had me trapped in my place.

"You must have seen something real strange in that fear sim today," he purred.

His eyes were twinkling with mirth and I froze, standing completely still. "I did," I muttered.

The last thing that I wanted tonight was for him to find out what was in my fear sim. "What was it?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Not your parents dying again," he stated.

"No."

"Maybe it was all of your little friends," he teased.

"Not that either."

His eyes narrowed as he stared at me. "Come on Amity, give me something," he said.

His large hands touched the tops of my thighs before running their way up and coming to a rest on my waist. I tried to shrink away from his touch, but his grip was like steel. And with every little movement that I made his grip only got tighter. I forced my breathing to slow down as I looked Eric in the eyes. He looked like he was waiting for an explanation from me.

"Eric, please. Let me go," I said softly to him. "Move. Please."

All it did was remind me of what he'd said to me in my fear sim. He didn't bother to move from me. He was staring down intently at me and my face flushed of all color. I just wanted to be able to leave but I knew that Eric was going to keep me here, against him, until I admitted to him what I had seen. He was close to figuring it out. I assumed that I wasn't going to need to tell him. His face fell after a moment and I trembled underneath his touch. He knew.

"Me. I was in your fear sim," he said softly.

Even though he was right, I didn't want to have to tell him. "No. You weren't," I muttered.

"What happened?" he snarled.

Every part of me knew that I would eventually tell Eric anyways, as I would have wanted to know if it were me in his fear sim, but I just couldn't. He didn't need to know that I had been forced to kill him. He didn't need to know that he had shot me. Mostly I didn't want him to know what I thought he was capable of.

"Eric -" I half begged, but he cut me off once more.

"What happened?" he repeated, letting me know that there was no way that I was getting out of this conversation.

His voice was deepening and becoming dangerous. Shaking my head at him, I grabbed his arm to try and push him away from me. He wasn't taking it. His grip on me only got tighter. His hands were digging into my skin painfully. I wanted to shove him away from me, but I knew that he was stronger. He wasn't moving from me until he got what he wanted.

"Come on, it doesn't matter. Let it go. Let's just enjoy the night," I said desperately, hoping he would let it go.

But it was Eric. And he didn't let anything go. Not when he wanted to know the answer. I wouldn't have let the topic go either if it was me that we were talking about. His hands were still tight on my waist. With every minute that passed, they were tightening even more. I knew that he could feel me trembling beneath his hands.

"What did I do to you?" he asked. I stayed silent, not wanting to admit to him the truth. He didn't need to know.

"Nothing," I whispered.

"Tell me the truth," he growled.

My head was facing the ground and I could feel him staring a hole into the top of my head. "It doesn't matter," I said.

"Tell me!" he shouted.

We had been standing in silence for a little while. My entire body was shaking as I thought about what he wanted. Should I just get it over with and tell him? I didn't want to. But I should. I jumped at the sudden raise of volume in his voice and stared up at Eric. His hands were so tight on my hips that they hurt.

"Let go of me," I said, softer than I thought was possible.

His eyes were radiating fury as he slowly released his grip on me. But his hands still didn't drop off of me. They were stroking my bare skin. "Tell me," he said, quieter than before.

"I woke up in this room. No one was in there. You came in. I was asking you what was going on but you didn't say anything to me. A woman came in behind you. She stayed hidden by you. She told you to kill me. I had a gun. So did you. But I only had one bullet. I just knew that she had to die. But you wouldn't move. You just stayed in front of her. I begged you to move but you wouldn't. She told you that I was dangerous. That I wasn't right. She ordered you to kill me. I tried to run around you and shoot her but you got to me first. You shot me. In the hip. I stood and you raised your gun to my head. I tried so hard to get you to move but you wouldn't. You were going to kill me. So I did it, I shot you and shot her through you," I explained, not using Jeanine's name.

My head had stayed towards the ground for my entire explanation but I finally looked up at him. He was quieter than I had ever heard him. His eyes were almost black and I knew that this time it was with anger. Any trace of laughter in his eyes had faded during my recount. He looked angry. Extremely angry. His eyes held a little hint of sadness and I felt a sharp pain go through my chest. He actually looked hurt. I couldn't believe that I had actually told him what had happened to me.

"You really think that I would kill you?" he asked.

"No," I mumbled unconvincingly.

"Alex," Eric called softly. It was only the third time that he had ever said my real name. "Look at me. Do you think that I would kill you?"

His eyes were hard. I knew that he wasn't sure of himself. This was not the type of person that he was. Vulnerability was not his strong suit. "Would you?" I asked. I wasn't sure why I had said it. But I wanted to know. "If it meant keeping your position here in Dauntless. If someone was telling you to kill me. f it was you or me. Would you really not kill me?"

"Excuse me?" Eric asked.

"Tell me the truth," I said softly.

It was the worst look that I had ever seen on Eric's face. He looked somewhere in between hurt and angry. And I knew that it was everything that I had just said. I shouldn't have said it. But I had. And Eric was good at masking emotions. The hurt fled from his eyes as fast as it had come.

"You don't know me as well as you think that you do if you think that I would ever lay a hand on you. Shoot you or kill you, you're dead wrong," Eric snarled. Was it the truth? Would he really put me before himself? He seemed sure of it. But he still didn't know the truth. "You honestly think that I would kill you?"

Tears built in my eyes as I looked away from Eric. I wanted to tell him what I was, but I knew that I couldn't. It wasn't safe to tell him and he wasn't safe either. Not right now. I needed to leave. We could talk about everything later, but not now. Shaking my head at him, I tried to push myself as far back into the counter as I could.

"I don't know, Eric. I really don't," I told him honestly. "I hope that you wouldn't. But come on, Eric. You've told me more than anyone else. You don't care about me. Not really."

Honestly, I wasn't sure why I was saying the things that I was. All I was doing was hurting him. He genuinely thought that he had nothing to worry about with me. But he was wrong. He had everything to worry about with me. I was putting both of us in danger by being here. I tried to shut myself up but I wasn't able to. I just kept running my mouth.

"You were the one who insisted that I was nothing more than a warm body," I whispered.

The vein in his arm twitched slightly. I wished that I could take it back. I wished that my fear was something else. "You think that that's all you are to me?" Eric asked.

I glanced up at him and saw that his jaw was clenched tightly. "I don't know," I whispered.

"You think that I'd let you stay in my bed, tell you stories about myself, not mind that you know about my childhood, if I thought of you as nothing more than a warm body?" he asked.

I shook my head, even though I knew that he was right. I knew that I meant something to him. The question was how much I meant to Eric. There was a chance that I meant enough, but I wasn't sure that I did. I just wasn't sure if I meant enough. Eric's hands dropped from my waist and I found myself missing his touch.

"You're wrong, Amity."

We were both silent as I tried to wrack my brain for something to say. But nothing came to mind. I had already done the damage and I had no idea how to reverse it. We couldn't travel back in time for me to take back what I had said. I just wished that I could go back and act like normal when I walked into the apartment.

"I'm sorry, Eric. But you don't tell me anything. Tell me what I mean to you. Tell me that I'm something more than a warm body. Tell me that I could trust you to put me before yourself," I said. As I had expected, he said nothing. "Because I don't know."

I gave him a minute to say something, but he never did. Eric stayed silent, his eyes never straying from my own. I could see the reflection of my own eyes in his. They were red and tears were glistening in them. He looked completely emotionless and I knew that he was done talking to me. I grabbed Eric and wrapped my arms around him, even though I knew that he didn't want me to. His body language was tense as I buried my face into his chest and I backed away.

He was dangerous right now. For a moment I thought that he might hit me. His arms had stayed down at his sides the entire time and I knew that my words had had a profound effect on him. I couldn't help but to wonder if I was the first person to hurt him. I leaned up to try and kiss him, but he was too tall. There was no way that he was going to budge and lean down to me. So I stood on my tiptoes and kissed the side of his jaw. I felt him twitch under my lips.

As I went back down onto the balls of my feet, I saw his tense stance. I was sure that nothing like this had ever happened to him before. "I'm so sorry, Eric. I really am. I care about you. Probably more than you know," I said. It was easy to see his jaw twitch. "Maybe one day you'll tell me how you feel too. I'm sorry about tonight. I'm going to leave. I'll, uh - see you around. Goodnight, Eric."

Part of me hoped that he would say something to call me back, but I knew that he wouldn't. He was just as upset as I was. Maybe even more so. My eyes were watering as I stepped around him and headed over towards the door. Eric stayed where he had been standing the entire time as I walked to his door and headed out into the hallway. Tears that had been building the entire time were about to fall as I walked down the hall.

I made it about five or six steps outside of his apartment when I heard a glass shatter from inside. My body started shaking with silent sobs. I wanted nothing more than to go back to him. Not tonight though. I couldn't. So instead I let the first tear fall as I headed to the sim room. I was hours early but I wanted to be alone.

My feet carried me blindly to the sim room as tears flowed down against my face. I managed to not let anyone see me cry by taking the back hallways. The moment that I walked into the sim room I dropped against the wall. Tears were steadily running down my face as I drew my knees up to my chest and tucked my head in my knees.

Every part of me wanted to be angry with someone. Four, Eric, or Heather. But right now I couldn't bring myself to be angry with anyone but me. There was no reason for me to have gone to Eric tonight. I should have gotten Heather to understand that I needed a while before being confronted by him. But it wasn't really Heather's fault. She didn't realize that it had affected me so much because there was a chance that my fear could be entirely possible. For hours I leaned against the wall and cried, not even realizing that Four was on his way here.

At half an hour until midnight, nearly four hours since I'd come into the room, Four walked in. Tears were still occasionally falling from my eyes, but I was nowhere near as hysterical as I had been earlier. I had never thought that Eric would be able to have such a profound effect on me.

"Alex? You're early," Four said. I didn't bother to look up at him. "You ready to start or -" Four cut himself off when he realized that I had been crying. And for quite some time too. "Alex. What's wrong?"

Four walked over to my side and dropped down so that he could lean in front of me. I raised my head to look into his eyes and felt completely mortified. He was my leader, here to risk his life for me. And here I was, crying over some boy. I didn't want to admit what had happened with him but the words wouldn't stop flowing. Just like with Eric.

"I - I told Heather about my fear with Eric and she thought that I needed to go talk to him. It wasn't her fault. She was just trying to help. I - I went to Eric's and I tried to pretend that things were normal but I couldn't. All I saw was him shooting me. Threatening to kill me. He figured it out. He got me to tell him what I saw. He was horrified that I could have thought that he would do something like that to him," I said softly, wiping dried tears from my eyes.

He nodded sadly at me as I curled my legs even tighter in on myself. "I see... Alex... Eric, he cares for you," Four said.

I shook my head at him. "I know," I said.

He cared about me, but he cared about his spot in Dauntless more. He wouldn't turn on Jeanine Matthews for me. "I'm sorry for ever making you think that he would kill you. Even if Jeanine ordered it, I don't think that he would. Not if he reacted the way that you say he did," Four said.

Most of me believed that Four was telling me the truth. There was definitely a chance that Eric would give up everything for me, but he had said so many times that I didn't mean anything to him. I wasn't sure what to think. A tiny part of me still thought that he was lying to me to protect me. And that was the part that I listened to.

"Don't lie to me, Four. I know that you still believe that he'll kill me if Jeanine orders him to. I do too," I said softly. "I just - I never meant to get this attached to him. I don't know if I even am that attached to him. I just know that I feel awful for what I saw in my fear sim. For believing that it could happen."

Four wiped away some dried tears from my cheek, and I swatted at him. I wasn't completely hopeless. "We can't help who we find ourselves drawn to. Sometimes it's a good thing and other times if becomes difficult," Four said.

I nearly laughed. "Nothing has ever been as difficult as my relationship with Eric is," I said.

Even Four smiled. "I believe that somewhere in his heart, Eric has some good in him. I believe that you're the person that can bring that good out. I believe that you're the person that has brought that good out. Believe it or not I think Eric has been nicer this year than past years. If you can imagine that," Four added.

I couldn't help it. I laughed softly and shook my head. I could imagine Eric being worse in past years. It seemed like I was the only initiate this year that Eric had actually caused bodily harm to in our initiation class. Other than the initiates that had to spar against him. But he hadn't thrown them across the room.

"Well maybe to the rest of them. Not to me," I said, making Four sigh. "Do you remember the broken railing over the Chasm?"

Four had tried to stop Eric from dragging me out of the training room but he had been too late. Plus I'd earned my punishment. I'd thrown a knife at him. Looking back at it now, despite not wanting to admit it, I knew that it was right for Eric to have nearly killed me. I had come very close to killing him.

"You don't have to. I know," he said.

My eyebrows raised as I wiped another tear from my eyes. Four moved to sit at my side, the two of us sitting against each other. I had never realized that Four had known what had happened at the Chasm. I thought that it had stayed between Eric and me. That was the way that I'd wanted it to be.

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"When the railing was broken, and no one knew what had happened, Max asked me to check it out. Look at the tapes. I saw it happen. And I saw how scared you both were," Four said.

I nodded at him. I was sure that I had never been more afraid than Eric. Shaking my head at Four, I sighed and leaned back against the wall. "So then you should know. Four, Eric would kill me. He already has nearly killed me. Quite a few times too. That was just one of the times," I said.

And it was the entire truth. The first time that Eric and I had ever been alone together he had nearly choked me to death. Not that I hadn't deserved it. Each time that we'd fought, I'd realized too late that I had deserved it. Eric was a dangerous man and I was the idiot who had fallen into his trap.

"Yes, it was an accident. But you didn't hear him, you didn't see him. Not really. He wanted to kill me. I know that he did," I said.

Every part of me knew that during the Chasm incident Eric had really wanted to kill me. I could see it in his eyes. "But he didn't," Four said.

"He would have. If it weren't against the rules to kill initiates," I said.

"Doubtful. A lot of times we find ourselves furious, more so than we thought was possible. Eric might have thought that he wanted to kill you, but I saw the fear in his eyes when you actually fell. When he could barely hang onto you. He really thought that you were going to die. And I don't think that he could have lived with himself if you'd actually died," Four said.

Was that really the truth? I didn't think that it was. Eric would have gotten over my death. It would be easy enough. He might feel a little bit guilty about it, but he wouldn't have been torn up over it. He would still get over my death if he was forced to kill me. Maybe he felt something for me, but his job here was more important to him.

"He would have. I know that he would have. Maybe he would have been angry with himself, a little upset. But he wouldn't have been devastated. Not even now. His position here in Dauntless is important to him. More important than me. More important than anything," I told Four.

Everyone knew that Eric was very proud of his leadership status. Four shook his head at me and I looked over to him. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. It isn't that Eric is incapable of feeling anything. I know that he isn't," Four told me.

I knew that Eric was incapable of emotions. "I know. It was just the way that he was raised," I said. And that was a hard thing to break, the way that someone was raised.

Four looked a little surprised for a moment. "Cameron? He cares about him," Four said. But Cameron was his best friend. "There are other friends that Eric has here that he at least somewhat cares about. My story with Eric is different."

"What happened between you two?" I asked.

"It's a story for another night," he said. I always had been curious why Eric hated Four so much. "But you? He cares more about you than anyone else I've ever seen. His position here in Dauntless? It means a lot to him. But something else might mean more."

It was easy to see that Four meant me. But I wasn't so sure that he was right about that. In fact, I was almost positive that leadership meant more to him than I did. Leadership was one of the most important things to Eric. He liked having the authority. He was good with his position of authority.

"But how do you know?" I asked softly.

We were silent for a moment and I waited for Four to say something. I leaned into his shoulder. For a moment I thought that he might shove me away from him, but Four let me lay there. I appreciated that. It really was nice to have him here as a friend tonight, the one night that I wanted a friend.

"You know that I'm not from Dauntless," Four said.

It was pretty common knowledge that Four had been a transfer. "I know," I said.

The only thing was that no one knew where he was from. Four never talked about his childhood with me. "I'm from Abnegation originally," Four admitted.

I coughed a few times and had to suppress a laugh. Did Four really just say that he was from Abnegation? He had really been a Stiff? I remembered the day when I had first come to Dauntless and he had asked me if I was pushed just because I was from Amity. I always thought that it was shocking because Amity and Abnegation never did well in Dauntless. But clearly Four had if he was here and training the initiates. But I had always thought that Four was from Candor or Erudite.

"You were a Stiff?" I asked stupidly.

Well that was much ruder than I had meant for it to sound. Honestly I hadn't meant to say anything like that. It was a little on the rude side. Actually, it was extremely rude of me to say that. But he had caught me off guard. Four narrowed his eyes at me as I lifted my head from his shoulder.

"Seriously, Softie?" Four asked.

I blushed and gave him a tiny smile. "Sorry," I said guilty.

He was right. I had no room to be judging anyone. "Anyways, in Abnegation open love wasn't really something that was ever taught. We were taught to conceal what we love. But my family, they went above and beyond that," he said.

My eyes narrowed at him. "What do you mean?" I asked.

I wasn't sure what he was getting at. "Again, a story for another time. But just know, Alex. The way that Eric looks at you... It's the way that I wish my father had looked at my mother," Four said.

My heart dropped into my stomach as I clamped my jaws shut. I had no idea what to say to that. Part of me wanted to thank him, but I wasn't sure that it was quite appropriate for the moment. Did he mean that his father didn't love his mother? Or was there something deeper there? It was clear that Four would tell me one day about his family, but today was not that day. Tonight we had both found ourselves in a state of mind that we didn't like to think about.

Tonight we could enjoy each other's company without having to say anything. There was nothing more that we could say. His words had done more for me than he could ever imagine. He thought that Eric looked at me the same way a man would look at the woman they cared about more than anything. Maybe that was true. Maybe it wasn't. One day I might see what Four was talking about. Once more I rested my head on Four's shoulders and sighed as his arm went around mine. For tonight, Four was not my trainer and he was not my ally. For tonight, he was my friend.

 **A/N:** Another updated chapter here. **Drop me a review if you feel the need!** Until next time -A

 **lovespirit: I'm so glad that you liked it! I like the relationship that Eric and Alex have as well. It's tense, just the way that I want it to be. And as for Four and Alex, I want them to have a good bond. I'm glad that you liked the last fear and I hope that you like this chapter!**

 **Derbygirl63: I'm glad! I work really hard on the M rated scenes and I always like to hear that they're appreciated. I love Alex and Four because I feel like the only person Veronica Roth ever showed Four close with was Tris. He deserves a few good friends and ally's! Thanks so much and I hope you like this one!**

 **Debbydq: Thanks so much! I'm really glad it didn't come off as awkward or rushed!**

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you liked this one too!**

 **Guest: Thank you for your opinion :) I'm going to let people know in the first author's note where the M rated scene is instead of stopping the chapter to let everyone know that the M rated stuff is beginning. For those who are only reading these scenes. I hope you are enjoying the story!**

 **Talia: Thanks so much! I'm glad that you liked it! You're right, something else probably would have been a little more believable. But Alex knew that he was tired and she was a little frazzled so I imagine that she just said the first thing on her mind. Regardless, I hope that you like this one!**


	5. Chapter 5

Eric's P.O.V.

It was late in the morning when Eric finally woke up. He knew that Max was frustrated that Eric had been sleeping in lately, but Eric couldn't have cared less. He was normally awake by six or so, a lasting trait from growing up in Erudite, but lately he'd been sleeping in until well past ten. Far later than most of the rest of the Faction. It was later than all of the Factions woke up. But he didn't care. He woke up like he had most mornings for the past week or so. Angry and hating himself. Or wanting to drive someone's head through the wall. Probably a combination of all three. Particularly hers.

Even though nothing that had happened was really her fault, he was furious with her. He shouldn't have pushed her. He really didn't want to know that she was afraid of him hurting her. All of this was because she had given him the answer that he had never wanted to hear. The answer that had fucked up everything that he had been working so hard to accomplish with her.

He knew that she thought he was dangerous. He was dangerous. She had already known that the moment that she started seeing him. Before that even. But he couldn't believe that she really was afraid that he was going to kill her. Why would she even think something like that? He was positive that she had no reason to think that. He hated thinking about it. He hated that she thought that he could kill her.

Eric was no stranger to having to take someone's life - having had to take out enemies before - but he could never take hers. He never would. Whether she knew it or not, and whether he would admit or not, he would never have the heart to kill her. He couldn't even understand why she would think that he would kill her. He had never thought that he was that bad.

There was only one reason that Eric could think of that would justify her fear of him killing her. The only reason that would justify her fear of him. If she was one of the people that Jeanine was tracking down. The Divergent's. It would have made sense if there was a chance that she was one of them. But she wasn't. There was no way that she was. He would have been able to tell. Four would have been able to tell. Max would have been able to tell.

It wasn't that hard to tell who was a Divergent and who wasn't. He was inclined to think that it would have been obvious if she was one of them. There was no way that she was one of them. Her times in the sim were good, better than most, but they weren't so good that she was finishing in under three minutes. That would have been a major hint.

Eric stood up from his bed and groaned softly. His head was pounding and his throat was dry. He fucking hated hangovers. It was rare that he actually got them, but they had become an almost welcome friend over the past few days. He glanced around his apartment and scowled. Most of the small living area had been destroyed. He had gone through a bit of a fit when she had left last week and hadn't bothered to clean up. He had drank far too much and ended up tearing most of his possessions to shreds. Not that most of it mattered to him.

The sheets on his bed were thrown in a pile on the ground. The dishes were all stacked up in the sink with bits of food dried onto them. Drink glasses were everywhere in sight and empty bottles littered the room. A handle in the bathroom was broken from when Eric had come home drunk last night, at the insistence of Cameron. It wasn't the first time that he had broken something while drunk. He had wanted to go find her, but Cameron had insisted he go to bed. In retrospect, he was probably right.

The one thing that he hated more than the knowledge that she thought that he could kill her was the knowledge that she had such a profound effect on him. More than anyone else had. No one had ever made Eric care so much about them as she had. With the exception of maybe Cameron. But they had grown up together. Eric had known him for his entire life. Cameron would never be afraid of Eric. Not the way that she was.

He hated the thought that she was afraid of him. He wanted to say something to her but he wasn't sure what he possibly could say. He didn't want to apologize to her. He had never learned how to apologize. He felt weak when he did it. He just wanted them to go back to normal.

In the past week since Eric had learned that one of her fears was him killing her, he had only spoken to his Amity once more. He had seen her a few times in passing in the Dauntless halls. He had spoken to her two days ago. She had come to try and move past their discussion a few nights prior, but the conversation had been forced. It was obvious that neither one had known what to say to the other. He hadn't kissed her. He hadn't even touched her. She had made sure to keep her distance. It had been like she was trying not to set him off. And that was the worst part. When it was just them, she had never seemed nervous.

The one thing that Eric wanted more than anything else was for their relationship to go back to normal. He wanted to be able to tease her again. It was one of his favorite pastimes. He wanted to laugh at how easily embarrassed she was. It was extremely easy to embarrass her. All he had to do was say something about her body. It was the easiest way to get her to turn bright red.

He wanted to call her Amity again, knowing that it was one of the many things that riled her up. He just wanted to see her again. He wanted her to be able to look his way without looking away from him a second later. He wanted to be able to pin her up against the wall, counter, or bed again. But he had no idea how to go about it.

Standing from the bed, Eric tried to shake her out of his thoughts. There was still work to be done and Eric was not the type of man to find himself hung up over some girl. Not even his Amity. He awkwardly fumbled over to the dresser but stopped halfway there. His clothes were no longer folded and put away neatly like they normally were. They were scattered throughout the room. He scowled at the clothes strewn across his furniture. His apartment was a mess and it was all because of her.

He grabbed a black shirt and a pair of black pants, stepping into them before grabbing his boots and slipping them on. His clothes were wrinkled to hell but Eric ignored it. His head was spinning too fast to really concentrate on wearing proper clothes. He had drank far too much last night. He had seen her down in the Pit, laughing with her friends. He hated thinking that she might have been happier - better off - without him.

A knock sounded at Eric's door and he muttered under his breath. It was probably Max snapping at Eric for being late again. He'd been late every day over the past five days. But Eric had never been one for punctuality. Eric hated having to talk to someone today but he knew that his job was more important than his simmering over her.

He had just been hoping to only deal with himself today. The last thing that he wanted was to talk to Max. He wasn't the worst person in the world, but he definitely ground on Eric's nerves after a few hours. He was past sick of having to be civil with these people. Eric decidedly ignored the door, but after a minute, it opened anyways. It meant that it wasn't Max. Unsurprisingly it was Cameron. He was probably here to check on Eric.

"Quite the mess you have going here," Cameron stated as he glanced around the room.

"I guess."

Eric said nothing else. "Eric, what's going on, man?" Cameron asked.

Cameron's voice was quieter than it normally was. Eric had noticed lately that his friend had joked a little less and had looked more concerned for him. It was easy to see that Eric had been more irritable over the past few days. But the way that Cameron was treating Eric like a broken doll was going to make him lose his mind.

"Get out of here," Eric growled under his breath.

He didn't want to listen to Cameron's berating. "No," Cameron hissed.

"If Max wants me tell him I'll be there in a few minutes."

The room was silent as Cameron flipped the light switch on. Eric hissed and made his way into the kitchen. "Enough of this shit," Cameron snapped.

Eric turned to look over at him. For once, any teasing glint was impossible to trace in his friend's eyes. He was pissed. "What the fuck did you just say?" Eric asked lowly.

"You've drank more in this past week than you have in an entire month. And that's saying something," Cameron continued.

"So?" Eric asked, pouring himself some coffee.

"Where's your girl?" Cameron tried again, approaching from a more sensitive angle.

Eric tensed and reached for a glass of whiskey sitting forgotten on the counter. "Dorms," he answered shortly.

If they were going to talk about this Eric needed another drink. Cameron walked up and snatched it away. "Come on, man. You've had enough to drink," he said.

Eric's eyes narrowed as he scowled at Cameron. "I don't need my mother or a damn lecture," Eric snapped.

"Where is Alex? I haven't seen her with anyone other than her friends in a week. What happened between you two?" Cameron asked softly.

A flash of anger shot through Eric's chest as he shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Give me the glass back," Eric demanded.

"Absolutely not," Cameron said, brushing by Eric and pouring the drink down the drain.

Eric watched Cameron with his fists balled. He didn't want to hit Cameron. He was his best friend. The one person that had been there through everything. He had never actually hit him before, except for the times that they had sparred together. But Eric was getting dangerously close to doing something that he might regret this morning.

"Is there a reason you're here or are we just chatting?" Eric asked sharply.

He knew that he was being a dick but he couldn't bring himself to care. Pity briefly flitted through Cameron's eyes and Eric growled. He didn't want pity. He wanted to be alone. "Eric. You might be a dick normally but you're never this bad. What the fuck happened between you and Alex? I haven't seen the two of you together in a week," Cameron tried to nudge his friend.

He was getting worried for Eric. He was on a self-destructive path. Eric went to grab a bottle that was behind Cameron but the other man was faster. Cameron snatched it away before Eric could touch it. Angry that Cameron wouldn't let the conversation go, Eric took a quick swing at his friend. Cameron clearly saw the punch coming as he stepped back and avoided Eric's fist, just barely staying out of the path of the hit.

"Enough!" Cameron shouted.

The sharp tone of Cameron's voice made Eric drop back and stare at his friend. They had fought plenty but Eric had never tried to hit him. "Didn't mean that," Eric muttered.

"Eric, I'm your friend. I'm your brother. And I'm trying to help you. What happened, man?" he asked again.

Eric took a few steps past Cameron, who had backed off from his friend slightly. He was right. Eric knew that. He collapsed against the counter and let out a deep breath. He hated this. He hated feeling so weak because of a woman. Even worse, it was because of a stupid Amity. His Amity.

"It was her last fear sim," Eric finally admitted.

Cameron was watching him closely as Eric explained. "Go on," Cameron gently prodded.

"She had to have her friend Heather drag her here. She didn't want to see me. Her fear was me, killing her. She was too afraid to even look at me. She said that I shot her in her sim. I knew what she meant. That I was more than happy to shoot her. I was going to kill her but she got to me first. She shot me and killed me. She said that she wasn't sure whether or not I would really kill her. If it meant that I would get to keep my spot in Dauntless," Eric explained.

The room was silent and Eric wished that they would have at least been screaming at each other. He hated the silence. Eric had always thought that silence was worse than yelling. It reminded him of his childhood in Erudite. His parents would never yell at each other, or him, whenever they had been angry with each other. They had merely sat in a stony silence.

"Eric..." Cameron trailed off.

He wasn't quite sure where he should go with it. Cameron had never seen his friend like this before. Eric was never one to let girls get to him before. If he got bored of them, he let them go. If they were afraid of him, he thought that it was funny. No one had ever affected him quite like she had. Eric had been in initiates fear sims before. At least one a year. But none of them had ever bothered him like hers.

"Would you?" Cameron finally asked.

Eric tore his eyes from the ground when Cameron asked that. It was the same thing that she asked. There was something in the way that Cameron had asked it that bothered Eric to the core. He was asking like he was unsure. Just the way that she had. He glared back down at the floor. He wouldn't hurt her. He never would. No matter what anyone else thought. For whatever reason, she was different.

"That's the same thing that she asked," Eric finally told Cameron.

Cameron wore a straight face that betrayed no emotion. "I'm serious, Eric," Cameron said.

He sounded just like her. Maybe that was why he was as close to her as he was. She reminded him of his best friend. "I know," Eric growled.

"I don't think that you'd do it. I think that you care for her more than you care for anyone else in this Faction. And that's something that you deserve. You deserve to be happy," Cameron said.

"I don't deserve a damn thing," Eric hissed.

The only thing that he deserved was the job that he had worked so hard for. He didn't deserve her. He had gotten her and lost her. "You do. But she deserves things too. And one of those things is the truth. Tell me right now. If it was between your spot on leadership and her life, what would you choose?" Cameron asked.

Every fiber of his being wanted to scream. He hated that even his best friend didn't understand that he cared for her. He wasn't sure how much he cared about her. He was sure that he would never know how much he cared for her. The one thing that he knew was that he didn't love her. But he did know that he wanted her back.

"It astounds me that both of you feel the need to ask that," Eric growled.

Cameron sighed. He really knew the truth but he wanted Eric to have to say it out loud. "I want you to know yourself," Cameron said.

He needed Eric to know for a fact that she meant more to him than anything else. It was the only way that he was going to move past this. "Her. I'd choose her," Eric finally admitted.

"I know you would," Cameron said quickly.

"But they can't know that. Jeanine can't know that. She uses things against people. If she knew that Alex was so much as just my friend, she'd use her against me," Eric said.

It took a moment for Cameron to suppress his smile. From the first time that Eric had come into his apartment all those months ago complaining about some smart-mouthed Amity transfer, Cameron had known that they were going to be good together. He had always known that they would be good together. And now he was right.

"I know that. But push Jeanine out of your mind for a minute," Cameron said.

"Its not easy," Eric interrupted

"I know. But think about just the two of you. When you're in here and no one else is listening," Cameron said. Eric nodded after a moment. He was a different person when it was just the two of them. "You need to tell her that. She cares about you. And you care about her. But for some damn reason neither one of you will admit it to the other!"

"She knows that I care about her," Eric muttered.

"Obviously not. You guys are like children. Neither one wants to cave first. I don't care if you don't love her. I'm not asking you to love her. But just tell her that you care. Tell her that your position in Dauntless means nothing to you compared to her. Does it?" Cameron asked.

"Yes," Eric answered without hesitation.

He loved his position here in Dauntless and being able to boss everyone around. He loved only having to take orders from Max. But Cameron was right. Life was boring without someone to share it with. Eric wasn't going to marry her and he didn't love her. But he cared for her and he wanted her with him. The boys were silent for a moment and Cameron finally let a smirk cross his face. He knew that he had won this round. And it helped that Max had been yelling and Cameron all week to get Eric to snap out of it.

"I'm not telling her that," Eric snarled.

The smirk dropped off of Cameron's face as he turned to look at Eric. If he'd had anything in his hands he would have chucked it at his friend. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he snarled.

"No."

"What was the point of this conversation?" Cameron snapped.

"You were the one that started it," Eric deadpanned.

"Eric, if you want her to stay in your life you need to get off your ass and do something about it. Look at this!" he yelled, motioning to the mess that had taken over Eric's apartment. "You have dishes piled up to the ceiling, your sheets haven't been washed in a week, your bed isn't made, you've gone through at least three bottles of liquor in a week, you're wearing the same clothes days in a row, and I've never seen you as angry as you are right now."

Cameron knew that Eric wasn't just going to sit there and take it. He was going to retaliate. Eric hated thinking that he was the bad guy here. "And it's all because of her!" Eric yelled.

His temper went flying through the roof as he grabbed the glass that was sitting at the edge of the counter and tossed it against the wall. It hit roughly and shattered, shards flying everywhere. Cameron didn't flinch as Eric's knuckles went white against the counter. He'd known Eric his entire life. He knew that was coming.

"Come on, tell me. When have you ever seen me like this?" Eric asked, motioning at himself.

"Never," Cameron answered automatically. "Because you've never cared about someone as much as you care about her. And it scares you. There's only one person in your life that you've ever genuinely cared about. Me."

Eric nearly snorted but he managed to keep it in. It was true. They were brothers. "Yeah," Eric muttered.

"But that's different then you feel with her. You've never experienced what it's like to have a real partner. Someone to share a life with," Cameron said softly.

Eric wasn't the type of guy that wanted to settle down and have a family. Not even for her. If that was what she wanted, she was looking in the wrong place. "I'm not that person. If she wants someone to share a life with, someone to tell her how wonderful she is, and how much they love her, she's with the wrong person," Eric said honestly.

Cameron nodded, having already known that. "She knows that, Eric. Do you really think that she would be with you if she wanted all of that?" Cameron asked.

He knew that she wasn't with him for the future. She was with him for the present. "I know she wouldn't," Eric said.

"She isn't that type of person either. She doesn't want all of that. I know it. She doesn't need the knight in shining armor. As far as I can see, that's not the type of person she wants. If she wanted someone like that she would go to one of her friends. But she doesn't. She wants the type of person that can keep up with her. Someone to make her smile and laugh. Someone that she can push around and will push her back. That's you. You're the one that she wants," Cameron argued.

They didn't say anything after that. Cameron had nothing more to say to Eric on the topic. Eric had nothing else to say. He knew for a fact that Cameron was right. Eric knew that if she really wanted a guy that would treat her right and be there until the end of time she would have gone to one of her friends. Or any other Dauntless member. But she hadn't. She had gone to him. And Eric was not that type of guy. She knew that. All he knew was that he wanted her with him.

He really wasn't sure what he thought about her. He didn't love her and she didn't love him. That much was obvious. But he did know that he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to be his. Eric watched as Cameron began to pile clothes together and run water over the dishes. Eric joined him, trying to put away the mess that Eric had made. He knew that he wanted to go to her later and tell her that she was still his. No matter what.

They'd been cleaning for about ten minutes, and had made a fair bit of progress on the room, when another knock come from the door. Eric walked over to answer it, leaving Cameron to finish washing the dishes. He heard a voice coming from the outside of the door and immediately recognized Max's voice. Eric gripped the doorknob tightly before swinging the door open.

"Good morning, Eric. Cameron," Max greeted as he walked to the threshold of the room. "Good to see you both. Doing a little spring cleaning?"

He had a little smirk on his face and Eric wanted nothing more than to slam the door over Max's head. "Just tidying up," Cameron said quickly, so that Eric wouldn't say anything.

"The monthly mandatory fear simulations are happening now. Would you please join us?" Max asked, even though it wasn't a request.

Eric wanted to let out a groan the moment that Max said it. He hated the mandatory monthly fear sims. It was always the same thing that just ended up eating a good portion of Eric's day. It wasn't like the fear was going to be any different today than it normally was. All it meant was that Eric would waste a good hour or two.

"I'll see you later, man," Cameron said as he walked up to the pair.

"See you, man," Eric said.

"Just remember what I said. Think about it. Good luck," Cameron, brushing past Eric.

He said a quick good morning to Max on his way out of the room. Eric knew that Cameron was not a fan of Max. No one really was. Eric looked up at the clock and saw that it was already well past ten, nearing eleven. There was no way that he would be able to see her this morning. He'd have to wait until tonight to see her. She wouldn't have time until then and neither would he.

As Cameron headed for the offices that were near the top floors of Dauntless, Eric headed with Max into the sub-levels. It was where the fear landscape room was. It was one of Eric's least favorite rooms. It was the only place that had the potential to really make him feel weak.

They walked through the door and Eric looked around. It was similar to the room that they used for the fear sims, but it was much larger. It was where his Amity would find herself in a few weeks. Screens were all along the top of the room so that everyone watching could see the fears. These days were Eric's least favorite part of the month, but he knew that ten minutes of sitting in that chair were worth another month of leadership.

It also helped that there was only one fear that he ever saw. It was the same fear that he'd been seeing for four years. Losing to the man of the same name. His fear was always losing to Four. At everything. Leadership, friends, and everything else he had worked so hard to earn in Dauntless. The one good thing about these fear sims was that Four never had to do them. He couldn't stand having Four know that he was afraid of losing to him.

Eric stood off to the side of the room with his arms crossed over his chest as they began with the fear sims. As per usual, Max went first as the other leaders watched on. Max's fears occasionally changed but the one that they saw today was his death. That was the one that he mostly had. It was a fear that had always struck Eric funny. Dauntless was the Faction of the brave. He felt that a fear of death, while perfectly reasonable, was also cowardly.

Cora, an older woman, went after Max. She wouldn't be on leadership much longer. Just a few more years before it was time for her to leave or die. Her fear was always the same. Not being able to save her son and daughter. She, like Max, was successful in her fear. Another leader, Jason, went through his fear of suffocating. He survived by the skin of his teeth. The last leader to go before Eric was Rick. He was just a few years younger than Max. He lived through his fear of torture.

The nurse by the name of Allison help calm down Rick before allowing him to leave from the chair. She was around thirty and had always been one of the nicer nurses. She had come from Erudite, and Eric was positive that she should have stayed there. She didn't fit with the other Dauntless members. Eric rolled his shoulders as Allison went to fill up another vial. He knew that he had this. He's gotten extremely good at the fear sim. It wouldn't take him more than five minutes.

"Eric? I'm ready for you," Allison called.

Eric nodded and walked over to the chair. As Allison motioned to him, he went and sat back in the seat and waited to fall into the sim. Allison grabbed the vial and pushed the needle against his neck. Eric didn't even flinch. He was used to it. He barely felt the sting from the needle. The world grew heavy quickly as Eric's eyes slipped closed.

His head was extremely fuzzy as Eric found himself waking up in a strange room. He was sure that he had never been in the room before. Had he drank too much last night? How did he get here? Where the hell was he? This had never happened to him before. No matter how drunk he was, he always remembered at least parts of the night before.

He took a look around the room, searching for his gun. It was nowhere to be found. He was in a deep blue room with nothing in it. Eric had a good memory. He was positive that he had never been here before. So how did he get here? He didn't see anything until he turned around. There were two people in the room with him. And neither one was Four. Jeanine Matthews was standing in the corner with Max. The other leaders along with a few other people that Eric didn't recognize filed in behind them.

Eric tilted his head to the side. What the hell was going on? The people in the front row separated and Eric watched as two Dauntless men dragged in a limp figure, tossing it to the ground. It took everything in Eric to not react. On the ground was the worst thing that Eric had ever seen. His Amity was laying on the ground, bloody and beaten half to death. She was barely moving as he took a few steps closer to her, looking her over.

Her face was coated in blood and both eyes were close to being completely swollen shut. Her lip was broken in a few places and it looked like she may have been missing a tooth or two. A few patches of her hair were torn out and her ankle was bent at an odd angle. He looked over to her arms and saw that her wrist was very clearly broken. She looked up at Eric and sobbed softly. He had never seen her look so pathetic. So broken.

Any words that had formed in Eric's throat died at the sight of her. He had no idea what he could say. How the hell did she get here? What was she doing here? Eric had seen her perfectly healthy only a day ago. He had seen her walking through the halls with her friends. She had been laughing and smiling. It hadn't seemed like she had a care in the world. So what the hell had happened to her? She looked up to Eric and coughed. Blood came up and she spit it across the floor.

Eric felt a little jolt in his stomach. He couldn't tolerate seeing her like this. "Max. Jeanine. What is this?" Eric asked, trying to keep any hint of anger or hesitation out of his voice.

Eric had expected Jeanine to be the one to speak up but, to his shock, it was Max. "A present. For you, Eric," Max said.

Jeanine was smirking behind him and Eric growled under his breath. "What is this?" Eric repeated.

The only present Eric wanted right now was Jeanine and Max's heads on a platter. "You see, you've grown close with her recently. We all know it. It's nice. Honestly. How someone like you can find themselves so caught up in a little Amity. She's caused you quite a bit of trouble," Max said, taking a few steps closer to Eric.

Eric's hands balled at his sides. He wanted to hit Max as hard as possible. There was no reason that she should be here. There was no reason she was nearly dead. Instead of walking up to Eric, Max stopped at her side. She tried to scoot away but Max was faster. He brought his leg up and stepped down on her already broken wrist. She cried out in agony and Eric winced as Max twisted his foot over her wrist. A loud sob emitted itself from her mouth as a tear leaked out of her eyes.

"What do you want, Max? Why are you torturing an innocent initiate?" Eric asked loudly.

Eric knew that the only way to handle this was like a level-headed leader. "Innocent," Jeanine scoffed.

He had no weapon to fight with. As Eric looked over his Amity one more time he saw that she was completely still, softly moaning in pain. Max still had his foot over her wrist. "She is innocent," Eric argued softly.

"She makes you weak, Eric. Look at you," Jeanine said.

Eric gritted his teeth. "Let her up," Eric demanded.

"You're having an internal battle with yourself because you want to save her," Jeanine said. Eric didn't bother arguing against her. She was right. "The poor, pathetic little Amity." Her voice made it sound like she was almost sorry. "There's only one thing that can be done. We like you, Eric. The spot on leadership is rightfully yours. Now you just have to take it."

Finally, after what had felt like an hour, Max moved off of her wrist. She cried out in pain as he purposely dragged his heel over her wrist. Eric had to do everything in his power not to run and rip Max's head off. Once more she coughed up blood. His heart was pounding in his chest as he looked at her. She was going to die soon if he did nothing. There had to be something internally wrong with her. She wouldn't be coughing up blood if there wasn't.

Max held out a gun and Eric went to take it. But Max was not a foolish man for all of his faults. He backed the gun out of Eric's reach. "You need to show us that you still want the leadership, Eric," Max said.

"Of course I want the spot," Eric growled lowly.

"We need to know. You need to eradicate anything that makes you weak," Max said, motioning to where she lay. "Kill her."

If Eric didn't know that it was a medical impossibility, he would have thought that his heart had stopped from shock. Had Max just really asked him to kill her? An initiate no less. They never killed initiates. Sometimes it was an accident and other times initiates killed each other, but they never killed them.

"She's an initiate. We don't just kill the initiates without reason," Eric said, trying to push all emotion from his voice. Max couldn't know that Eric wanted to rip his head off. "They are the future of Dauntless."

Eric nonchalantly motioned over towards her, trying to keep his hand from shaking. Max shook his head as he motioned back to her flippantly. She looked like she was trying to get back to her feet, but she was too weak. She just kept falling back to the ground. It didn't help that Max was smiling the entire time.

"Not her. She's shown no promise. Not like the others," Max said.

Eric ground his teeth. "She's second in the rankings," he commented.

"She doesn't have the personality. Now kill her, Eric. Or we can leave you both on the Factionless doorstep with no medication for her. She dies anyways and you find yourself with no home. So tell me. What's worth more?" Max asked with a smirk, knowing that he was getting to Eric.

"You'll really leave her out there to die?" Eric asked sharply.

"You have to ask? What's worth more? Your spot here in Dauntless, or the knowledge that at least her death had nothing to do with you? She dies either way," Max pointed out.

Eric's heart was pounding in his chest as he looked down at her. He couldn't kill her. There was no way. But Max was right. She was going to die either way. They had done too much damage to her and the Factionless had no medication. They died from diseases all the time. He had to kill her. He needed to stay in Dauntless. He couldn't be in the Factionless. He had worked too hard for his entire life to become Factionless. Even for her.

It didn't matter what he did. No matter what choice he made, his Amity was going to die. He didn't want to do it but he knew that he had to. Maybe this would be kinder. A quick and painless death. She was suffering right now. He hated even thinking that he was going to do it, but he needed to. It was the only way that he could stay a leader. He would forget about her. He would have to. Plenty of girls had come through his life before and he had always forgotten about them. She would be the same. _No, she won't_.

He nodded and took the gun from Max. "Eric. Please. Don't. I know you're better than this. Please," Alex begged him.

The emotion and desperation in her voice nearly made Eric drop the gun. It felt like his heart had frozen over and the ice was puncturing every organ in his body. He had never heard her plead before. Not for him. Not for anyone. Not like this. It was the weakest that he had ever seen her. She looked like she might cry, but she remained strong, trying to silently plead with him. But he still had to do it. He needed to keep his spot as a leader.

He needed to prove to everyone that he was more than some freak science experiment. All that people had thought that he was when he was growing up. She was just another initiate. And an Amity at that. But deep down, Eric knew that she was so much more. He knew that she meant more to him than anything even had. Even leadership. But it was too late. She had begged once more and cried out his name as Eric pulled the trigger.

The shot went straight through her forehead, in between her eyes, and Eric wanted nothing more than to fall to the ground with her. Her body. Her corpse. He had done it. He had actually killed her. Just for a damned spot on leadership. Her empty eyes stared up at him accusingly. Eric waited for her to blink or to scream. To do anything. Even to see the rise and fall of her chest. But it never came. She was still. She was dead. Because of him.

He cocked the gun for another bullet to put through Max's skull, but the gun was now empty. Only one bullet had been in the chamber. Max was smart to only give Eric one bullet. Eric wanted to run and grab her body, shield it from their prying eyes, but he couldn't. He was rooted in place as Max came up to Eric's side and grabbed his shoulders tightly.

"Well done, Eric," Jeanine said from across the room.

Eric wanted to move and bash Max's head in with the gun but he never got the chance. It felt like he had been sucked through a vacuum as Eric woke up in the main room once more. A sim. It was just a stupid sim. A sim that everyone else saw. But she was safe. His Amity was safe and alive, doing her sim elsewhere.

Everyone else in the room was chattering among themselves and Eric scowled. He could care less if they all knew about his soft spot for the Amity. All that mattered was that he had done it. He had killed her. Just like what she had told him a week ago that he would do. And he had done it. She was right. He would kill her. _No. Not really_. He wouldn't. Some part of him must have known that it wasn't real. He wouldn't kill her. He wouldn't.

"Nine minutes and fifteen seconds," Max said.

"Okay," Eric muttered.

"Eric? Might I have a word with you for a moment?" Max asked.

He would have been foolish to think that Max would let Eric get away with the fear sim without a word about it. Their relationship was forbidden but the fear hadn't explicitly revealed that they were together. Sleeping together. Whatever. Max led Eric out of the sim room as they made their way into the hallway, the door to the fear landscape room closing behind them.

"Interesting, your fear. I don't think in the years that I've ever known you, you've ever had a fear that didn't involve Four," Max stated.

"I suppose," Eric said through gritted teeth.

"Curious. Instead it shows you with a young Amity transfer. Alex, correct?" Max asked.

"Yes," Eric said stiffly.

"I've never known you to be fond of the initiates," Max said.

"I'm not," Eric snarled.

And it was the truth. Eric had always hated the initiates. There were only a handful that he had ever been able to tolerate. She hadn't even been one of them until recently. For the longest time he had wanted to toss her over the Chasm. He nearly had. Max merely laughed and gave one of his small smiles. One that had always bothered Eric. Max looked more creepy than friendly when he did that.

"No. Of course you aren't. Only her," Max said. Eric opened his mouth to argue that his fear had just been about killing an innocent initiate but Max beat him to the punch. "Not to worry, Eric. Only another month and a half left anyways. You've done a good job keeping the two of you under wraps."

"I suppose we have," Eric muttered.

His eyebrows went to his forehead. Max had always hated people breaking rules. And being with an initiate was a big rule. So why was Max being understanding? "She's a pretty girl. A strong and smart one too. Number two ranking, set to pass into the number one spot in another day or two. I'm impressed. I knew that when you chose a woman it would be a strong one. But you're also the type that would never let a woman stand in his way. You know when enough is enough. You make a good soldier, Eric. It's one of the many things I like about you," Max said.

Eric had never wanted to knock Max's teeth in more than he did right now. And Max had frequently made me want to hit him in the face more than once. Eric just wanted to forget about her dead eyes staring up at him. He had killed her just for a fucking spot. And it had been reality. He'd thought that the entire thing was real.

"Thank you," Eric managed to grit out.

He was shaking with fury and wanted nothing more than to leave. He had done exactly what she had been afraid of happening. Eric turned to leave, having nothing more to say to Max, and he was grateful when the older man didn't call him back. He walked through the halls, stomping angrily. Members jumped out of his way as he headed up to Cameron's office.

Eric knew that no one would interrupt him. Everyone knew that an angry Eric was not someone to trifle with. It was something that he appreciated through all of the years that he had been in Dauntless. Eric was planning on hiding out in Cameron's office for a few hours, not trusting himself to speak with anyone else, until he could get to her. He wanted his Amity back.

Alex's P.O.V.

The walk was silent and I appreciated it. Our breakfast had been deafening and people had been especially chatty waiting for their fear sims this morning. The silence was welcome. I knew it wouldn't last. I was currently on the way to lunch with my friends. The rankings had come to an essential stand-still so I was walking with my usual group. I sighed as I thought about how close I was to the number one spot. Four had told me to give it a few days and I would finally overtake Aaron.

It was good that Aaron hadn't seemed that broken hearted about it. The number one spot would set me up for leadership. But I wasn't so sure that I wanted it anymore. I didn't want to have to face Eric anymore. I had only seen him once over the past eight days and it hadn't gone well. We had just sat awkwardly together until I had decided that it had gone on long enough and left.

Every part of me wanted to pretend that I was better off without Eric, but it was a lie. The biggest lie I had ever told myself. I missed him. I missed him more than I would have ever thought was possible. The past week had been one of the most boring of my life. And it had all been because Eric wasn't around to mess with me.

Heather had apologized profusely for what had happened between us after I had told her what had happened the following day, but I had shaken her off. I knew that Heather had only meant the best. And even if she hadn't dragged me to Eric he would have eventually hunted me down and the same thing would have happened. Heather had been trying to get me back into Eric's good graces but nothing she had come up with had seemed viable. She didn't know what to do. And neither did I.

Four had been a good person to hang around the past week or so. Since I was no longer spending my nights hanging out with Eric I had been going to Four instead. We spent most nights working on my fear. I knew that Four hated seeing me spending so much time in that fear, but I knew that I had to conquer it even before Jeanine appeared. I hated seeing it and every time I shot Eric in my sim it made me feel a little sick.

But thankfully I had been able to make it work. Four had taught me to shoot Eric the moment that he walked through the door with Jeanine directly behind him. It had worked well. I was in and out of the fear in just over a minute and I hadn't had to plead with Eric in the fear since the first time I had seen it.

Despite my arguments, Four had given me tonight off. It had been a long argument, but I had still lost. Four was sure that I hadn't been sleeping enough lately. And he was right. Even when I went back to the dorms at night I still didn't sleep. My nightmares kept me up and I found myself unable to quiet my thoughts. My friends had noticed my change in demeanor over the past week and they had all taken turns in trying to cheer me up. Heather had been the leader of their little attempts.

It had definitely helped my attitude over the past few days, but I still hated going anywhere that I might run into Eric. I saw him all over the place. The only benefit was that I hadn't seen him yet today and I hadn't seen him at all yesterday. I had thought about maybe going to his apartment tonight but I knew that I was better off going back to the dorms and going to bed.

Heading straight into the dining room, I grabbed myself a burger and a piece of Dauntless cake. It felt a little silly since I never ate the cake, but I figured that I had earned it. Dante smiled at me as we walked through the line and I gave him a little grin back. We didn't need to speak to each other but we were always there to make each other feel better. We joined our friends at the table and I smiled. I took my normal seat in between Heather and Buck. Both were already eating and getting close to being done.

"Alex!" Heather yelled.

I jumped slightly and looked up from my food. "Heather" I chirped back teasingly.

She looked happy that I was at least acting happier. "I think that we should go to the Pit after dinner tonight," Heather stated.

My brows knitted together. No part of me doubted that this wasn't another one of her little ploys to get me back with Eric. She knew that the Pit was one of the easiest places to find Eric. "Is that so?" I asked.

It would sound like a totally normal request to the rest of our friends. "Yeah. We haven't been in forever," she said.

In all honesty, I missed hanging out in the Pit and a part of me was hoping to see Eric. "Alright. Any particular reason?" I asked, wanting to see what her answer would be.

She merely smiled at me as our friends watched us with little hints of curiosity. They clearly knew that there was another silent conversation being had. I knew for a fact that Heather was trying to get me to see Eric once more. She had taken every chance that she had gotten to drive the two of us together in the past week.

"Not really," Heather said with a small shrug.

I scowled at her. I wasn't as stupid as she thought that I was. "Okay," I mumbled.

"I just thought that we've all been having such a hard time over the past few weeks that a trip to the Pit might do us all some good," she said.

I certainly wasn't the only person who had been down in the dumps over the past few days. "That sounds like a nice night. I could use some time to get away," I muttered.

Everyone was having a hard time getting over what they were seeing in their fear sims. It was time for all of us to have some fun. Heather was smirking proudly as everyone else nodded their approvals. She knew that she had me caught here. If I said that I didn't want to go, I would have to give them a reason. And I had no good reason that I could tell them. Heather was a gigantic pain in my ass but she was, and always would be, my favorite person in Dauntless.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Dante said.

"Everyone's going?" I asked.

There were affirmatives exchanged all along the table. "Gives us a chance to pick up a few Dauntless chicks," Dante added cockily.

Heather and I stared at each other with little scowls as Buck, Cole, Draven, Dante, Jax, and even Jet all high fived each other. Heather scowled at Cole, who sobered quickly. I was shocked by Jet. He had been quieter since Raven had left, but over the past few days he had been getting back into his old self. It was good to see. But now they were all being brats. I rolled my eyes in sync with Heather. They all had way too big of heads. Even I wasn't that big headed. And I had a pretty damn big head.

"Pick them up?" I asked.

The boys all nodded as Heather smirked at me. She knew where I was going with this. She was smarter than they were. "Of course," Buck said teasingly.

"Pick them all up because they're running away from you guys?" I asked.

The boys all looked down at their laps as I smirked and nudged Heather, who was laughing loudly. It took a few minutes but the muttering of my male friends ceased as they all smiled at me. Most of them were shoving me like older brothers would after being picked on by their little sisters. Which was essentially what had just happened. They all knew that I had been out of it lately. They were clearly happy to see that I was coming back into myself.

"And what about you, missy?" Buck asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"We can find you a Dauntless guy for yourself if you'd like?" he suggested.

Smiling at him, I shook my head. It was a sweet sentiment but my taste in Dauntless men clearly wasn't that good. One of them had tried to kill me and I was afraid that the other one _would_ kill me. It didn't matter. There was only one guy that I wanted in Dauntless. And, currently, I was not in a good place with him. Hell, I hadn't even seen him in two days. And I fucking missed him. A lot. Which I hated.

"If he's anything like you guys, I want nothing to do with him," I told them jokingly.

My friends all laughed and nudged me in between them. "Excuse you!" Cole barked.

This was probably the most that I had laughed in the past week. This had been a terrible time for us all to go through. "You love us!" Dante added.

"Oh come on, Alex! We're charming!" Draven yelled, reaching across the table.

"You're all horrible," I said.

Draven went to grab me but I was faster. I shoved him away from me and he laughed, reaching his arm around me to wrap me in between them. I laughed loudly once more and shoved him off of me. I loved them all to death and would do anything for them, but they weren't right for me. They were so annoying. They were more like the brothers that I had never wanted. Which was very sweet, but they still weren't Eric.

He was the one that I would always want. With his strong and brooding personality that fit him better than anything else would. While my friends all kept themselves on the same level as me, Eric had that domineering personality. It wouldn't work well on just anyone, and it didn't. Eric was the only one that I knew that could pull it off.

Smiling at them, I shoved Draven off of me once and for all and downed a large chunk of my cake. As everyone joked back and forth, the laughter from our end of the table roared once more. Glancing around, I smirked when I saw that Jade and Colt were clearly pissed with our happiness. They had been furious ever since Phase Two of initiation began.

We all sat and chatted together as we went back to eating our lunches. I leaned back into the cake and began to devour it. I wasn't a fan of cake, but Eric was right. Dauntless cake was amazing. We all talked among ourselves as I talked to Heather about going to the Pit after I finished my fear sim. I was sure that we were going to end up near the bar but it didn't matter. If we were going to get on our asses drunk, the only way that we were going to do it was together.

Jax was currently trying to balance a spoon on his nose and I crept up behind him, knocking the spoon from his nose. He cried out as the spoon went flying across the room, smacking a Dauntless member on the knee. The member hissed in pain and I laughed for a moment. But Jax and I quickly sobered when we realized that the member had been Four. And he did not look happy. We both straightened up as Four glared at the both of us. At least it wasn't Eric.

"Initiates!" Four yelled, clearly angry with Jax and me. "Everyone who still has their fear sims to do, come on back."

I departed from the table without another word, not wanting to tempt my fate with Four even more. Buck, Jax, Dante, and Draven all fell into step with me. Greg, Michael, Jackson, and Aaron walked with us after a moment, coming from their own table. We all talked softly together as we headed back to the sim waiting room. Once we were all in and the door closed behind us, Buck walked into the sim room without prompting from Four.

As we took our seats, I sat near the door and leaned my head back against the wall. I'd be waiting at least another hour. I was dying to see what my fear was going to be today. I was hoping that it wasn't Eric anymore. Every time I saw him it felt like a little bit of life had been drained from me. And I had been doing it at least once a day for the past week. Four kept telling me that he thought that I had it perfected and it would be changing any day now. But he had been telling me that for three days.

So far I had only seen two fears and it felt a little strange to know that I still probably had at least ten more to go. Four and Eric had both said that normal people had between eleven and fifteen fears. The thought had made me blanch. I wasn't sure how many more times I could do this. But it wasn't over. No matter what. I still had another month and a half of training before I was finally able to call myself a full Dauntless member.

My mind was flitting all over the place as I heard the door open and close time after time, letting more and more of my friends go through their fear sims. Finally my mind landed on the thought of being down in the Pit tonight. It would be the first time that I would be there in a few weeks. Deep in the back of my mind I hoped that Eric would be there. I wanted to try and get things sorted out with him. I just had no idea how to go about it.

But it didn't matter. Tonight I was going to drink up the courage to go and be able to speak with him once more. Was it a good idea? Probably not. But was I going to do it anyways? Absolutely. I wanted things to go back to normal. So tonight I was going to buck up and put on my big girl pants. I was going to go and get him back. No more waiting.

The door opened once more and I cracked my eyes open. If my counting was right, it should be my turn now. "Alex?" Four called.

"Hey, Four," I greeted, smiling and rising to my feet.

"Come on back."

As much as I would have liked to put this off a little while longer, it was time for me to leave. I nodded and went to go walk with Four back into the sim room. I hadn't even realized that the room had grown nearly silent since I had gone into my little trance-like state. But it was the easiest way to pass the time while we waited.

"Good luck," Aaron said as I walked in.

"Thanks," I said, smiling and walking into the room.

The door shut behind me and Four motioned for me to go to the chair, which I did. It always made me nervous walking over to the chair, considering that I knew what was coming. I reached over and stole his water off of the counter and took a small sip. Out of the corner of my eyes I noticed that corner of his lip quirk upwards.

"You're looking better today. How's it going, kid?" Four asked, turning to me.

My eyebrows knitted as I turned back to Four, who was trying to keep a smile off of his face. "Kid?" I asked with a hint of laughter.

"Kid," Four confirmed.

Over the past few weeks, Four and I had gone from being a leader and an initiate to an older brother and little sister. He had been furious with Eric the past week and more than once I had stopped him from saying something with a sharp glare. As far as Eric was concerned, Four had no idea that the two of us were... whatever we were. But Eric and my argument had driven Four and I a little closer. As friends at least.

"I'm only four years younger than you," I argued.

Four merely shrugged his shoulders. "Which makes me four years wiser," Four said, making me roll my eyes at him.

"Asshole. Yeah, I feel better today," I answered him honestly.

"Good," Four responded immediately. "Didn't like how you were looking for a while there."

I smiled softly and reached over to give Four a quick hug. "Thank you. Half of it was because of you. You got me to get back to myself," I said sweetly.

"You're welcome."

As much as I didn't look forward to the fear sims, I did look forward to seeing Four. I was always glad to see him. Particularly when he said things like that. Four pulled back from me and I watched as he flicked the tip of the needle. I shuddered and leaned my head back. I wasn't afraid of needles, but I sure as hell wasn't a fan of them.

"Alright. Don't worry about it today. Take your time and remember, it's not real," he said softly.

It was the same warning that I had become accustomed to hearing him give me over the past week or so. Ever since Eric had shot me for the first time in the fear sim, Four had been telling me that. I had appreciated it. Even though I knew that it wasn't real, the warning always helped. Sometimes it all felt so real that it was hard to remember. Still, I knew that my Divergence was the only reason that I was able to keep a level head in the sim. I could only imagine what it was like for those who weren't.

"Thanks, Four. See you on the other side," I told him happily.

He grinned at me once more before pushing the needle into my neck. He had a hand laid comfortingly on my shoulder, probably to keep me from panicking before even going into the sim. I grimaced as the cold liquid froze my veins, feeling like my body was on ice. A moment later it felt like I was falling into a black pit.

Unlike the other times that I went into the fear sims, I did not wake up in a room. It didn't feel like I had woken up at all. It was like one moment I had been laying in the chair, I had blinked, and now I was here. Standing in the middle of Chicago. I was in the main stretch of Chicago, in between the Erudite and Candor headquarters. The School was only a block away. Was this not a sim? Although as I turned to face the Erudite headquarters I swallowed a lump in my throat. It wasn't another fear with Jeanine.

If nothing else, at least my fear with Eric was over. He was nowhere in sight. This was my third new fear. It seemed like a normal day. People were walking back and forth everywhere. There were mostly Erudite and Candor citizens but there were also a few Amity and Abnegation passing by. There were even a few Dauntless members scattered around. A few of the faces seemed familiar but I didn't know anyone by name.

Kids were running past me and a few brushed by my legs. I took a step back and smiled at a young Dauntless boy who had fallen over, helping him to his feet. Nothing seemed out of place at the moment. For the life of me I couldn't understand what my fear was. But I was sure that it was going to change any second now. A flash of yellow and red shot by my peripherals and I glanced up. These people I knew. I pushed through the crowd slightly, trying to get to my parents.

"Mom! Dad!" I yelled out loudly.

They both turned to me and I smiled. They seemed unharmed, which was a good thing in one of these sims. My mother was huge. She looked like she was ready to give birth at any second. Her stomach seemed a little more swollen than it should have been, considering she was still a few months away from giving birth, but I pushed that thought out of my mind. She looked unconcerned, walking hand-in-hand with my father. They were leaning against and looking very happy.

As they realized it was me calling to them they both smiled and waved at me. "Alex, dear. Come join us!" Mom called out. "We're headed to the doctor's."

I made my move to go head over to my parents. Nothing would make me happier than getting to see my new sister. My parents were standing across the street with their arms around each other. Each one had an arm open to welcome me. I was only about twenty feet away when a man stepped out of the shadows. Judging by his torn and mismatched clothing, I assumed that he was Factionless. There were a few of them wandering around the plaza.

They normally hung around to see if they could get something to eat from a soft hearted person in the square. The man headed straight for my mother and father and I scowled at him. Even though he looked harmless enough, I wanted him away from my parents. I wanted him away from my mother.

"Miss? Sir? Do you have anything to eat? I have no money and I'm starving," the Factionless man pleaded with my parents.

He was polite but I still didn't like him being so close to my family. My parents were shaking their heads and I sped up. He didn't look particularly violent, but I knew that Factionless could get a little out of hand. My trip to Amity had shown me that. I knew that my parents weren't carrying any money on them. They believed that people were more important than money. Amity used a bartering system. Most people kept their money or gave it to family members outside of the Faction.

Amity was the only Faction that didn't regularly use a credit system. "We're sorry. We don't have any money. You could try in Abnegation. They are always willing to help the Factionless," Dad said with a soft smile.

The Factionless man let out a little sob. I saw the emotion flicker through my parent's eyes at the sound. "I can't make it to Abnegation. I can't. It's too far away. I'll never be able to make it there," he sobbed to my parents.

He was on the verge of tears. But to my parent's credit, they didn't waver. "We're very sorry. We have no money on us," Dad said.

"Kind woman, please help me. Help an old man," the man pleaded.

He turned to my mother and grabbed her arm. "Please let go of me," Mom said.

That was when I'd had enough. I wanted that man off of my parents and on his way. My slow walk sped up to a short dash as I reached my mother's side in a matter of seconds. The bad feeling that I had become so used to during these sims had formed in the pit of my stomach. Something terrible was going to happen.

"Hey," I snapped, walking up to the man.

He turned back to me in shock. I grabbed his thin arm tight in my hand and wrenched it off of the man. "Let go of me!" the Factionless man shouted.

Not today. Not until he left. Although my grip was probably a little harder than necessary. I heard a little crack in his shoulder and he hissed in pain. I didn't mean to move him that hard, but I wanted him away from my mother. He looked a little underweight but he certainly didn't look like he was going to be starving to death. He probably needed to eat a meal full of fat and protein but he would be able to make the two mile trek to the Abnegation compound.

"Listen to them, they don't have any money. Hop a train and get to Abnegation. They'll help you out," I told the man, trying to solve it diplomatically. He opened his mouth to say something but I was faster to speak. "Either go on your own, or I'll remove you."

It wasn't like me to speak like that. To anyone. I had no idea where the sudden attitude came from. Maybe Eric. Or Four. I sounded just like them. It made me feel like I was a full Dauntless member now. I was acting like one. After all, these were the types of problems that Dauntless members had to deal with all the time. The panic set into the man's eyes and he acted before I could.

The man ripped his arm from my grasp and turned to run. He stumbled roughly into my mother, who couldn't move fast enough, and knocked her out of his way. I watched in horror as my mother spun out of the way and fell before my father or I could get to her. She fell backwards into the edge of the fountain that was directly behind us, slamming her stomach roughly against it as she hit the ground. She leaned over herself, starting to gag.

"Mom!" I yelled, running to her side.

The Factionless man was forgotten by everyone around us as I dropped to her side. I wanted nothing more than to run after the man and smash his head in, but I knew that my mother needed me more. She was on her side, cradling her stomach. Her loud cries were filling the walkway. I turned to my father, who was watching completely dumbfounded.

"Get a doctor. Get a doctor!" I yelled when my father didn't move.

"Okay, okay," Dad said, jumping to his feet and sprinting into the Erudite Medical Center. "Mom, Mom, it's alright. Don't panic. We're gonna get you to the Erudite Hospital and you'll be fine. The baby will be fine. I promise."

But it was an empty promise and we both knew that. I didn't know much about children or childbirth, but I knew that this was a serious problem. It was easy to see that some serious damage had been done. My mother had hit the fountain hard. Her stomach had been the only thing to take the impact of the fall.

"My baby. My baby. Something's wrong," Mom cried out.

Dad was on his way. They would get the doctor in time. I knew that they could. I was holding her hand, but it didn't seem to be calming her at all. Of course not. Mom cried out as she leaned over and vomited up blood. I gasped as I grabbed Mom to steady her once more. My sister. Her new child. Something was seriously wrong.

"Get a doctor. Hurry," Mom groaned.

She was right. We had to get a doctor out here within the next few seconds. I nodded at her and jumped up. Dad was taking too long to get help. I turned and stood, getting ready to run. But before I could take a step, it felt like a hole had opened up in the ground and I was falling through, swallowed by the sudden darkness.

My eyes sprung open and I gave a small jolt in my chair. Four was standing above me and held an arm on my shoulder to keep me from falling out of the chair. I nodded to him and sank back in the orange seat. I wiped a bead of sweat from my eyes and sighed. The only positive thing about that fear was that for once neither Eric nor Jeanine appeared. But my sister, my innocent sister, had died because of a stupid accident. I didn't even understand how I could get past the fear. Kill the man first? Grab Mom faster?

"Here," Four said, handing me some water.

"Thank you," I said, taking a few sips.

"You were pulled out of the fear because there was no saving it," Four said.

"Oh," I muttered dumbly.

That was the first fear that I hadn't been able to beat. "Your sibling..." Four trailed off slowly.

Shaking my head, I let out another little sigh. "I know. I know. I made a mistake," I said.

Four nodded at me. We both knew that I could have handled the fear differently. "Don't worry about it. It was the first time," Four said reassuringly.

"I shouldn't have shoved him away from her like that. Or maybe I shouldn't have startled him. I don't know. But there had to be something that I could have done differently," I said, leaning back against the chair once more.

Four merely shook his head as he walked over to me again. My heart was still beating rapidly in my chest as I forced myself to calm down. It was just a damned sim. It wasn't real. My sister was not dead. They were fine. My Mom and Dad were being careful up until it was time for the delivery.

"You'll work on it," Four said.

"Okay."

"But, Alex, there are occasions when some fears can't be conquered. The point of those fears are to understand that some things can't be controlled. This might be one of them," he said.

"Wonderful," I muttered.

I understood that, but there had to be a way that I could save her. "Don't worry. You've got time to figure this one out. You took just a little over four minutes," Four said.

The good thing was that I had still made it out of the fear quickly. It felt like it was nearly ten minutes. It was always the way that it felt. "I'll work on it. There's got to be another way to get the man away from my mother," I told Four.

He nodded absently at me as he went to type something into the computer. "We can work on it during your sessions," he said blankly.

"Hey, Four?" I called.

He turned back to me and waited for me to speak once more. "What's up?" he asked.

A little blush flooded my cheeks as I cleared my throat. No point in being bashful. "You wouldn't happen to know where Eric is going to be tonight, would you?" I asked.

Even though it was only there for a minute, I knew that Four was conflicted on whether or not he should tell me where he thought that Eric was going to be tonight. But even if he didn't tell me I was sure that I could find him. There were only so many places that he could be hiding. I knew that Four still didn't trust Eric, but it was easy to tell that he did want me to be happy.

"He had to go with Max this morning but he should be done by now. He'll either be in his apartment or in the Pit tonight," Four said.

I smiled softly at him. "Thanks," I said.

He looked a little upset that he had told me but I was thankful that I didn't have to go hunting for him. I stood to leave and Four called back to me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alex," Four called after me.

As I walked to the door, I threw my head back to give Four one last smile. "Bye, Four," I chirped.

He waved to me as I walked out of the room and left the door open for Aaron. I called a quick good luck to him before heading from the room. It was times like this that I wished that I had a phone. Only Dauntless members were allowed to have phones so that they could communicate with each other. I would have asked to borrow Eric's, but we were on thin ice as it was. I just wanted to call and make sure that my mother's pregnancy was going alright. I hadn't seen or heard from them since Visiting Day.

The only thing that I had gotten since seeing them was a letter from Erudite giving me the approximate date that my mother was going to be giving birth. It was about two months after initiation was over. I walked into the dining room and headed straight for my friends. I could see that a plate was already laid out for me.

"Hey guys," I said, smiling as I sat down.

"Hey," Dante greeted me with a little smile.

I shifted into my normal seat in between Heather and Buck and smiled at the both. There had clearly been a food fight before I had gotten here. "Food fight?" I asked teasingly.

Buck had a little piece of bread in his hair and I smiled as I plucked it out and threw it behind our table. "Just a little one," he said.

My friends all laughed as Buck gave me a bashful smile. "What happened?" I asked.

"Trust me when I say that you don't want to know," Heather said.

And I believed her, so I went silent. In the meantime, I was glad to see my friends laughing and smiling once more. The air had been very quiet since the fear sims had started a few weeks ago. And it was worse now that we were really getting into it, people were seeing new and worse fears. Everyone had seemed out of it the past few days.

"How'd the fear sim go?" Dante asked, once the laughter had died down.

"Freaky," I answered honestly.

The small chatter had died down so that everyone was now silent and watching me. "What happened?" Heather asked carefully.

"I've never had to see a fear that I couldn't conquer. It was my mother and father walking around that big business district. You know, the one in between Candor and Erudite?" I asked my friends. They all nodded. With me being the exception, the rest of the transfers were all from Candor and Erudite. "This Factionless man came up to them while I was trying to get to them to walk with them. He was asking them to give him money or food but they didn't have money. I walked up and tried to get him away from my mother. He panicked and ran, shoving into my mother. She hit her stomach on the edge of the fountain. She lost the baby."

My friends all sighed and kept silent. I knew that it was a hard thing to hear. Or to try and defend. Anything could happen. This fear could very much turn into a reality. My Mom could easily lose my sister. And there might not be anything that anyone could do. Miscarriages happened sometimes for all kinds of reasons.

"Sweetheart, your sister is gonna be just fine," Heather finally spoke up.

I turned to look at her with a little smile. "I hope so," I muttered.

"Whether or not they stay or leave Amity, they're gonna have a kick-ass big sister," she continued.

I laughed and grabbed Heather into a hug. "Thanks, Heather."

"Yours is better than mine," she muttered.

"What happened in yours?" I asked curiously.

"I had a sim where I was standing above everyone else and executing the people that I loved. All because they were giving me money to do it," Heather explained.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Seriously," Heather muttered.

My eyebrows rose to my hairline as I stared at her. Of all of the fears that I could have expected Heather to have, that was not one of them. It seemed that everyone else was a little thrown by her fear too. She must not have told anyone yet. Heather blushed and looked down at her plate as I sighed and spoke up once more.

"Heather, we all know that you would never do something like that. Besides, who else is going to tolerate you?" I asked her.

Heather laughed as she shoved into me and I smiled at her. "No one sane," Cole teased.

She gave her boyfriend a horrified look as he pressed a small kiss on her cheek. We all went back to eating our dinners, chattering about different things. For most of dinner I found myself talking with Buck about the likelihood that he was going to actually get together with this Dauntless girl that he had been pursuing. I was positive that she wanted nothing to do with him. She hadn't seemed very happy with him whenever I saw the two of them speaking a few times.

After a little while, we finally stood and headed into the Pit. It was getting a little boring being in the dining room. Everyone wanted to party. It wasn't long before we all made our way over to a table in the middle of the Pit. It was the first time that I'd really had fun in a long time. I started watching as Buck started pouring different liquids into the cup he had in front of him.

"Buck. What the hell are you doing?" I asked.

It seemed that I wasn't the only one that was curious. All of our friends were watching him work. We were standing around a high top and I watched as the once amber liquid turned black. It had a little green swirl going through the middle and for a moment I thought that I might be sick. It looked like poison.

"Trying something new. Greg was telling me that the Dauntless born do this. They call it a suicide," Buck explained.

"That sounds wise," Jet put in, making me smile.

"It's when you take all of the liquor that you have and you mix it all together to take one drink," Buck explained and I nodded.

That sounded like something completely safe and not at all a bad idea. "And you think that listening to the Dauntless born is a good idea?" I asked him.

Buck gave me a sly grin as my friends all laughed. "Don't be a buzzkill, it'll be fun," he teased.

"You're really deciding that making something called a suicide is a good idea? Now I see why you didn't go to Erudite," I told him.

Once more my friends laughed as Buck shoved into me. I turned to look behind us as Aaron, Jackson, Michael, Greg, Lisa, Darren, Sara, and Serena came up to us. We all greeted them but I was the only one to hug them. I was the only one that really knew them well enough to give them a hug. Even though my friends were getting more comfortable with the Dauntless born, I was still the only one that genuinely thought that they were my friends.

Although Lisa did hug Heather, as they had gotten a little closer during the past few weeks that we had been in Phase Two. They were the only other ones to physically greet each other. Aaron leaned over the table, squeezing in between Heather and me. I groaned and moved to the side to give him some room.

"Ah, so I see we're making a suicide. Welcome to Dauntless, kids!" he yelled.

We all laughed at each other. "Of course this was your idea," I said.

I rolled my eyes as Buck poured in the last shot that he had ordered from the bar. "Don't be shy. It'll be fun," Aaron said.

The drink was done but no one looked like they were ready to touch it. "That looks anything but fun," I said.

"So who goes first?" Aaron asked, receiving no answer. Not even Buck looked like he wanted to try it. "Come on, Alex. You're about to pass me as the top ranked initiate. Prove you aren't a demure little Amity anymore.

His voice was teasing as he held out the drink to me. Of course they were going to make me go first. My eyes bulged as he held it out to me. Why the hell did I have to drink it? Just because I was about to be number one in rankings didn't mean that I was brave enough to probably poison myself.

"Come on, Alex!" Lisa yelled from across the table.

I turned to scowl at her. "Don't egg them on!" I shouted.

The cheers got a little louder after that and I sighed at my friends. They were not making this easy. "Go, Alex!" Heather yelled.

I reached around Aaron to smack her on the arm. "You're supposed to be on my side!" I barked.

"I am on your side. And that's why I'm doing this. Come on, show us how Dauntless you really are," she said.

I rolled my eyes at her. "You are so useless," I said.

"Come on, Amity. If you do it I will too," Serena said.

It was rather surprising. I smiled at the other blonde. Even though we still weren't really friends, I had a feeling that this might put us on the right path. All of my friends had now joined in on egging me on and I took a deep breath, scowling at them all. Four and Zeke were in the corner of the Pit talking and both were watching us with smirks. Damn them. I couldn't back out now. I would just look weak. Four would never let me live it down.

"Alright, fine! Shut up," I growled at them.

Slightly nervous, I picked up the cup that held the drink and blanched at it. It looked awful. And it smelled horrible. I took the cup tight in my hands and tipped it back. I took a larger gulp then I meant to and drank it down. It actually wasn't half bad but the stench nearly mad me gag. I set the cup back down and looked at my friends who were patiently waiting for my judgement.

"That's actually not half bad. But it still tastes like rat poison," I told Buck.

Everyone laughed loudly as the drink was passed. Like promised, Serena went next. She thought that the drink tasted awful. She only drank water after that. We all talked and drank together for a long time as I downed drink after drink to work up the courage to go and talk to Eric. I had been looking around for him in the Pit but I hadn't seen him yet. Perhaps he was hanging out in his apartment tonight. I made myself a promise that if I didn't see him in another hour I would go looking for him.

"Alex, I gotta go to the bathroom. Wanna come?" Heather asked.

"Sure," I said.

The two of us backed away from the table, stumbling slightly. Draven caught me, looking a little unsteady as well. Everyone had been drinking too much. I handed Lisa my last drink, knowing that I at least needed to be slightly sober to speak with Eric. We headed into the bathroom, each of us stumbling a little as we walked to the restrooms. Heather popped into the first stall as I checked myself in the mirror.

"You're looking better today," Heather commented.

Smiling in the mirror I shook my head at myself a few times, trying to sober up. It didn't work that well. "I feel better, Heather. The fear finally changed, I've gotten some time to screw my head on straight, and I've gotten some time to think and come to a conclusion," I told her.

"That's good," she said, opening the door to the stall. I moved off to the side so that Heather had room to wash her hands.

"I don't think that Eric will kill me. Some part of me trusts him. He still scares me but I don't think that he's going to kill me," I told her honestly.

She turned to me with a smile. Heather hadn't drank as much as I had, but I could tell that the alcohol was getting to her. "Good. I'm glad that you've come to that conclusion. Because I agree with you. Eric might be a bit of a dick and I'm sure that he has no qualms against killing someone. But he does care about you. Probably more than you think he does. Why don't you go find him? Or head to his apartment? I'll let them know that you found a friend," she said.

I smiled at her. We both knew that she meant that she would tell them that I ran into 'my man' as they had all so affectionately dubbed him. We headed out of the bathroom together, back towards the table. "Thanks," I said softly.

She was always there to watch my back. There were a few people walking back and forth throughout the room and I smiled at them. None of them were Eric, but he was around here somewhere. I thought about going to say goodnight to everyone, but I knew that it was better for me to leave before I lost my nerve. So I turned from the table that we were all at to head into the Dauntless members hall but I was cut off by a familiar voice.

"Initiate," Eric called.

Heather and I both turned back to see Eric standing behind us, his arms crossed over his chest. My heart lodged itself into my throat. I hadn't thought about what I'd wanted to say to him. He didn't look happy. I knew that one day it was going to be a hard habit to break answering to that name.

"With me," Eric said, clearly trying to look the part of the tough leader.

"I'll see you later, alright?" I asked Heather, turning back to her.

"Sure thing. Night," she said.

She gave me a quick hug before departing and heading back to our friends. I saw them laughing and adding more to the awful drink as I headed into the halls with Eric right ahead of me. It was good to see him. I really did miss him, but I found myself extremely nervous to be near him. I'd wanted to be the one to come to him so that I could prove that I really had wanted to make things right between us.

We kept a distance between us and neither one of wore any emotion on our faces to detract attention. Still though, a few people turned to look at us with strange glances. We headed straight to Eric's apartment and Eric let me walk into the room first. He came in behind me as I took a seat at the kitchen counter. We were silent as Eric walked over to me.

"I was on my way to come and find you," I said awkwardly.

Eric hummed at me and gave a little nod as I shifted awkwardly in my seat. This was one of the most uncomfortable moments that I had ever experienced. At least with him. After all, the last time that I had been in Eric's apartment I had found myself in a disturbing argument with him. But I was determined to not let that happen again.

Not when it had upset me so much the first time around. I looked over at the rest of the room and saw that it was in a state of disarray. That was probably also my fault. It looked like he had gone on a drunken rampage. I glanced into his kitchen and saw that he still had the picture of me in the red dress. It was propped up on his refrigerator. I couldn't help but to smile at it.

"You should have brought that dress here," Eric said.

I didn't need to turn back to know that Eric was standing directly behind me. We stayed silent for a moment before I turned back and saw that Eric was looking over my head, towards the picture of me, with the corners of his mouth quirked up. For now I knew that our fight was over. Or, at least, we were trying to move on from it. Maybe we weren't going to say sorry to each other but we knew that we both meant it.

"Take me back to Amity and I'll go get it," I told him, glancing up at him. I had missed his half-smile.

He leaned into me but he wasn't quite touching me. He knew that it was what I wanted. He wanted it too. We would only last for so long against each other. "Last I checked you don't follow the rules when you want to leave the Faction," he said.

I smiled up at him. He was right about that. When I went to Erudite I hadn't bothered telling anyone that I was going to be leaving. Strictly because I couldn't have gone there with anyone. I had just gotten unlucky that I had met Eric along the way. Or maybe it had been lucky.

"I wonder where I got that from? A desire to break the rules," I teased.

"Certainly not me," Eric said.

Smiling at him, I shifted forward in the seat slightly. Eric was looking down at me and I felt the familiar rumble in the pit of my stomach. All I wanted was to be back with him, and here I was, finally back together. I was a little happier to see him than I had thought that I would be.

"Well what reason would I have to wear it?" I asked him with a smirk.

He was a smart man. He knew that it was a challenge. Eric walked up to me as he placed himself in between my legs, widening them so that he could stand pressed against me. His hand wrapped around the base of my neck and tilted my head up so that I could meet his lips with my own. It had been a week and I smiled into the kiss, drinking in the taste of him. We might not have been the most typical couple but we worked well enough.

He was the only person that I wanted. His teeth tugged at my bottom lip and I let my jaw fall slightly slack. One of his hands was at the base of my neck while the other grabbed my hip, pulling me flush against him. My head was already a little fuzzy from the alcohol and this was only making it even worse. But I never wanted him to stop. I'd gone a week without him, I didn't want that to happen again. His tongue darted into my mouth and he pulled back almost instantly, making my eyebrows knit together.

"What?" I asked, somewhat worriedly.

"What the hell have you been drinking?" Eric asked.

My lips turned up in a little smirk. Of course that had been what he had noticed. His hands were tight on my hips as I pushed myself into him. His hands only tightened on me a little more. I knew that just as happy as I was to be back with him, he was happy to be back with me. Even though he would never admit it.

"Everything," I said with a little laugh.

Eric leaned down and placed a kiss on the inside of my collar bone. I shivered and let my inner thigh trace against his. "Good. How about another?" he asked.

"Please," I said.

Tonight I would definitely have to stay with him. There was no way that I was going to be making it back to the dorms tonight. Not without his help. Not at the rate that we were going. I wasn't sure how much he had drank tonight, but he definitely seemed a little on the verge of being drunk. I watched as Eric went and poured us both a glass of clear liquid. It was obvious that he had been drinking too. I could taste it on his tongue.

He mixed the liquid in with some ice and I watched as the muscles in his back contracted and expanded with his movements. Even under the shirt that he was wearing it was easy to tell that his body was corded with strong muscle. So much more so than anyone else that I knew. It was always fun to run my hands over the muscles that he had on his back and arms. It was even more fun to dig my nails in, knowing that he liked the harsh movements.

Part of me couldn't help but to wonder if the scratch marks that I had given him the last time we were in bed together were still on him. I shook my head off of those thoughts as I remembered why I had come here in the first place. To explain to him what had I thought about my fear. I didn't want to talk about it, but I knew that I had to.

"Eric," I called and he hummed back. "There's something that I need to talk to you about."

He didn't even bother to turn back from pouring the drinks. "Don't ruin it," Eric called back.

"I'm serious," I said, keeping my arms crossed over my chest as I waited for him to turn back and look at me.

He didn't miss a beat. "So am I," he said.

Despite being irritated with what he had said, a small smile turned up on the corner of my lips. Finally finishing off the drinks, he walked back over to where I was seated. He put the drink down in front of me and I scowled at him as he raised his glass to his lips. I wanted to talk, but I knew that he would try and cut me off the moment that I opened my mouth. He downed his drink quickly but I left mine in front of me, untouched.

It didn't take Eric more than a second to get up, presumably to go get another drink. I knew that he didn't want to speak to me about what I wanted to talk about, but I needed to get it out. We couldn't just leave it like this. He was about to move, but I was faster for once. I reached out for his arm to tug him back into the seat next to me.

"Eric, you are going to listen to me, damn it," I snapped at him.

His pierced eyebrow raised and I stared at him. "What?" he asked.

I cleared my throat and awkwardly started up once more. I hadn't expected it to be that easy. "Look, I shouldn't have said what I said to you last week. It was wrong of me. I know that you wouldn't hurt me. Not on purpose. I believe that. I'm sorry. I guess it's just hard for me to put myself in the same position as someone that doesn't have any fears. At least not like mine," I mumbled.

The moment that I said it, I saw the crass look fall over his face. It was easy for me to know that I had said something wrong. Eric stood from his chair and walked so that he was standing directly in front of me. Definitely not good. I should have kept my fat mouth shut. I took a deep breath and puffed out my chest.

"What did you just say?" he asked.

Shaking my head, I reached for the drink that I had pushed away a moment before. Maybe I did need it. "You heard me," I said.

"Explain," he hissed.

"You don't have to deal with fears. Not like mine. Come on, Eric. You're one of the bravest people that I know," I told him, hoping that it was coming out as more of a compliment.

I knew that I probably sounded terrible but it was like word vomit. Once I started I couldn't stop. "You don't think I have fears?" Eric snarled at me.

I knew that he was afraid of something, but I didn't know what. "I can't even imagine what a guy like you is afraid of. You're lucky. Anyways, I'm sorry about what I said before," I said, hoping to end the conversation with that.

The anger was evident in his eyes, but there was something else too. "I don't care about what you said before," Eric snapped. "I care about what you just said. You don't think that I have fears? Just like you and the rest of your little friends?"

A little hint of anger spiked through me at the memory of my mother vomiting up blood, knowing that my little sister was dead inside of her. I couldn't ever imagine Eric having any fears like that. He had always come off as so fearless. Maybe it was just that he made me feel weaker than him. Maybe I didn't like the thought that. for once. the person that I was with was so much stronger than me. It wasn't something that had ever happened before.

"You sure as hell don't act like it. So, no, I can't imagine what you're afraid of. Becoming Factionless?" I asked, more of a cruel joke than anything else.

His eyes blazed with fury and I knew that what I had said had struck a chord deep within him. "You think that I'm that cruel? That cold? That my fears are only conceited like that. You think that no one else appears in my fears?" he asked, hovering over me.

"That's not what I meant," I muttered.

Had I meant that? I wasn't really sure what I'd meant when I was speaking. I just meant that I knew that he didn't have the same types of fears that I did. I just knew that I hadn't meant to insult him. But that was the way that it had come out. I just couldn't imagine what Eric was afraid of. Nothing made sense to me.

"Come with me," Eric snarled.

Eric grabbed my hand and yanked me off of the chair, towards the door. "Wait -"

"Don't talk. Walk," Eric hissed, not giving me a chance to speak.

He led me through the back halls and nerves began to bundle in my stomach as we walked to the fear sim room. It felt like my heart nearly stopped. Did he want to see my fear? He wrenched the door open angrily and went to the chair. Completely surprising me, he took a seat in the chair and grabbed the needle off of the tray next to it. He wanted me to see his fear. Was he serious? Not that I wasn't curious, but it felt like an invasion of privacy. He shoved the needle towards me but I didn't take it.

"Push it into the jugular vein," he instructed.

Part of me was dying to push the needle into his neck and know what he was afraid of but another part of me wasn't sure that I really wanted to know what he was afraid of. And that was the part that won over. Honestly I didn't want to see what he was afraid of. I had a feeling that it was something to make me feel guilty.

"I don't know how," I muttered.

"It's the big vein right in the middle of the neck. You've seen Four do it a million times," he said.

"But -"

"Watch on that screen," Eric interrupted, pointing to the computer that Four normally stood at.

"Eric -" I started to argue.

"Do it. Don't ask questions," he snapped.

Feeling extremely nervous, I nodded numbly and took the needle from him. Eric was right. I knew well enough about what to do. Four had done it to me enough times. I didn't want to do it, but I knew that one way or another Eric was going to get me to do this. At least my lessons with Four weren't tonight. That would make for a strange conversation.

"Make sure that the entire serum is emptied," Eric instructed.

"Okay."

My hands were shaking as I put the needle against his vein, pushing it in slowly. He didn't even give the tiny flinch that I usually did. He just stared at the wall ahead of him. I pushed down the plunger to empty the liquid and watched as a second later his eyes slipped closed. It felt strange to be on this end of the sim. I walked over to the computer station where Four normally watched me and put the needle down on the table.

The fear came to life on the screen and I crossed my arms over my chest to watch. Four was right. The screen was a little hard to watch. It was very pixelated and a little fuzzy, but it was clear enough to get the picture. Eric was standing in the middle of a room, looking around. It was a room painted a deep blue with only a door on one end. There was nothing that I recognized in the room. It appeared that it might have been somewhere in Erudite.

He was only alone for a moment when the door opened and Eric turned around. Two people walked into the room with him and my jaw tightened at the sight of them. Jeanine Matthews walked into the corner of the room with Max on her heels. The other leaders and a few more people that I didn't know followed them in. My heart picked up its pace as I watched the screen. Was he afraid of them?

Two more men walked into the room, dragging a limp figure into the room. Even though I automatically knew who it was, I kept repeating to myself that it was someone else. That it was anyone else. But it wasn't. There I was. Clear as day. As clear as I was standing here right now. The men dropped my figure on the ground and I looked over myself. I was bloody and beaten half to death. My body was barely moving and I was able to get a good look at myself as he walked over to me.

My eyes were blackened and nearly swollen shut. It was easy to see that my lip was broken in multiple places and it looked like I might have a broken tooth or two. A few patches of my hair were torn out and my ankle was bent at an odd angle. He looked over to my wrist and I could see that the breath catch in his throat. He kept an even look on his face. My wrist was very clearly broken. The sim me looked up to Eric and sobbed softly. My heart was pumping fast and hard. Why the hell was I in his fear?

I glanced over at the Eric in the same room as me and saw that his leg gave a little twitch. Eric in the sim was silent and a hand flew over my real mouth. I couldn't believe that I was seeing this. I couldn't believe that I was the person in Eric's fear. Eric looked like he wanted to tear apart every person in the room. The sim me looked up to Eric and gave a little cough. Blood came up and my sim spit it across the floor. I shook my head at the screen. It seemed that at any given second I might die.

"Max. Jeanine. What is this?" Eric asked, finally speaking.

Even though his voice was hard, I saw the softness in his eyes. A thought hit me as I watched the screen and I cringed slightly. It was very hard to remember. Eric was not a Divergent. He thought that this was real. He thought that I was really almost dead. Max smiled as he took a few steps closer to Eric.

"A present. For you, Eric," Max purred.

Jeanine was smirking behind him and Eric growled under his breath. "What is this?" Eric repeated.

My eyes narrowed into little slits. I had never liked Max and even though this was just a little sim it still didn't help me like him. "You see, you've grown close with her recently. We all know it. It's nice. Honestly. How someone like you can find themselves so caught up in a little Amity. She's caused you quite a bit of trouble," Max said, taking a few steps closer to Eric.

I rolled my eyes as Max walked up to my limp figure. Why was it that everyone insisted on calling me Amity? Only Eric was allowed to call me that. My body tensed as Max took his foot up and stepped down on my broken wrist, twisting his foot. _Thanks, asshole_. The version of me in the sim screamed out in pain and I winced in real life. That was exactly what my scream of pain would sound like. A tear leaked out of my eyes and I shuddered. Eric's mouth had tightened into a thin line. He was furious.

"What do you want, Max? Why are you torturing an innocent initiate?" Eric asked loudly.

He had to be diplomatic. He didn't have a weapon to use. I was still laying on the ground, moaning in pain. Max's foot was still on my wrist. "Innocent," Jeanine scoffed.

 _Bitch._ "She is innocent," Eric argued softly.

"She makes you weak, Eric. Look at you," Jeanine said.

Eric gritted his teeth. "Let her up," Eric demanded.

"You're having an internal battle with yourself because you want to save her," Jeanine said. My heart twisted in my chest. "The poor, pathetic little Amity." Her voice made it sound like she was almost sorry. "There's only one thing that can be done. We like you, Eric. The spot on leadership is rightfully yours. Now you just have to take it."

The breath caught in my throat. I knew what his fear was. And I knew the reason that he had it. It was all because I had placed the thought in his head. Max finally moved off of my wrist and I cringed as my sim cried out in pain and coughed up more blood. Max handed Eric a gun but immediately retracted it when Eric reached out. Real life Eric twitched one more. At least Max wasn't stupid. He knew that Eric would kill him before he would kill me.

Max held out a gun and Eric went to take it. But Max was not a foolish man. He backed the gun out of Eric's reach. "You need to show us that you still want the leadership, Eric," Max said.

"Of course I want the spot," Eric growled lowly.

"We need to know. You need to eradicate anything that makes you weak," Max said, motioning to where she lay. "Kill her."

Even though I'd seen it coming, the words still made me cringe. Max never seemed like the sweetest person but I liked to think that he wouldn't really send me to slaughter. But I had heard that meeting in between him and Jeanine a few weeks ago. He would. They would kill me without a second thought.

"She's an initiate. We don't just kill the initiates without reason," Eric said. I knew that Eric wanted to rip his head off and was desperately trying to push all emotion from his voice. "They are the future of Dauntless."

Eric nonchalantly motioned over towards me, obviously trying to keep his hand from shaking. Max shook his head as he motioned back to me flippantly. It looked like I was trying to get back to my feet, but I was too weak. I just kept falling back to the ground. It didn't help that Max was smiling the entire time.

"Not her. She's shown no promise. Not like the others," Max said.

 _Ouch._ Eric ground his teeth. "She's second in the rankings," Eric commented.

"She doesn't have the personality. Now kill her, Eric. Or we can leave you both on the Factionless doorstep with no medication for her. She dies anyways and you find yourself with no home. So tell me. What's worth more?" Max asked with a smirk, knowing that he was getting to Eric.

"You'll really leave her out there to die?" Eric asked sharply.

"You have to ask? What's worth more? Your spot here in Dauntless, or the knowledge that at least her death had nothing to do with you? She dies either way," Max pointed out.

The internal struggle was easy to see. It was right in his eyes. He might as well have been telling them outright that he wasn't sure if he could do it. I wanted to look away from the screen but I forced myself to stay facing forward and watch. I knew that with every fiber of his being he didn't want to do it. But I knew what he would do. And I didn't blame him. He finally gave a little nod and took the gun from Max. It felt like I couldn't breathe as I heard myself speak up for the first time.

He nodded and took the gun from Max. "Eric. Please. Don't. I know you're better than this. Please," I begged him.

If that didn't break his heart, I was sure that nothing would. I looked pitiful as I begged him again. His eyes held a little waver but he remained strong. Eric's entire body was jerking in the chair in the sim room, betraying the emotions that he was keeping calm in the sim. My sim called out to him once more but the plea fell on deaf ears. He shut his eyes and pulled the trigger. A little sob escaped my mouth as I watched.

The shot went straight through my eyes and Eric's limp figure in the chair gave a massive jolt. It startled me out of my shocked daze. My sim body fell to the ground, dead. He killed me. He had really done it. He cocked the gun for another bullet, more than likely to kill Max with, but the chamber was empty. Max was smart to only give him one bullet. Eric's figure was rooted in place by Max's hands, but his eyes never once left my body.

"Well done, Eric," Jeanine praised.

And that was it. The computer screen went dark and I glanced over to Eric. The sim was over. He shot up in the chair and I made my way over to him quickly. His breathing was faster than usual and he looked like he was about to bolt. The moment that I walked into his sight, his face went pale as he looked me over. I grabbed his hand and leaned in front of him. He thought that it was real. He thought that I was dead.

"Alex," he muttered, placing his hand on my leg.

"Hey, it's alright. Just a sim. It was only a sim. I'm alright. I'm right here," I muttered softly.

Eric looked like he was about to shove me away, but he didn't. Instead he stood and brushed softly past me. He turned off the computer and turned to leave. I wasn't sure whether or not he was inviting me to go with him. but I did anyways. And considering he didn't yell at me I figured that he didn't mind me going with him.

Our walk back to his apartment was made in silence. It made me feel a little tenser than normal. Once we arrived back inside and Eric shut the door behind us, I felt the awkward air grow thick once more. He grabbed the bottle off of the counter and took a long swig of it, walking back over to the bed. I followed.

"Once a month, every month, for the past four years, I've done these mandatory fear sim checks. Leadership has to do them. To ensure that they're still willing and strong enough to conquer anything thrown at them," Eric explained. I nodded at him. "Every time I've done one of these my fear has always been the same. Losing to Four. Losing something. Leadership, a fight, anything. No one but him has ever appeared in that sim. No one." My brows knitted together. His fear was really losing to Four? "Not until today. Not until you." A small blush rose to my face. "You're wrong, Amity. About everything."

I knew what he meant. He meant that I was wrong about choosing to believe that he wouldn't hurt me. He was wrong about thinking that he was better than he really was. Maybe he thought that, but I didn't. No matter how afraid I was that he would find out that I was Divergent, I would never believe that he would really hurt me. He wouldn't.

"No. I'm not. I might not be as smart as an Erudite but I'm not a moron either. Your face in that sim. You didn't want to do it. You regretted it the moment that you did it. You wouldn't hurt me. Not for anything. I trust you," I told him, watching a strange emotion flit through his eyes.

"You don't," Eric growled.

"I do. I really do."

"You shouldn't."

"But I do. Time for you to trust me. I'm sorry for what I said before," I told him softly.

Eric was sitting on the edge of the bed as I sauntered over to him. The bottle of liquor was hanging loosely in his hand as I pried it away from him. One of his hands went to the back of my thighs and goosebumps rose as he traced over the skin there. My spine straightened at the sudden feeling.

"You have too much blind faith, Amity," Eric muttered.

His head was near my chest and the sound of his voice vibrated through me. I shrugged, knowing that he wasn't looking. "Maybe one day I'll feel like a fool for it then. Today is not that day. Come here," I told him softly.

To my surprise, he did as told. His hands wrapped around my thighs and I smiled as he tugged me into his lap so that I was sitting on him. My arms stretched out to reach up around his torso and I grinned into the crook of his neck. He took a moment, but one arm finally wrapped around my shoulders. Maybe one day he would make me feel like a fool, but for right now I didn't want to worry about it. For now I just wanted to be with him.

Using the full strength of my weight, which wasn't much, I rocked us back against the bed and Eric laughed softly, letting me knock us back. The sound vibrated through me and I smiled, leaning against him for a kiss. One that he easily responded to. One of his hands wrapped in my hair as the other one undid the zipper of my jacket.

It was too hot in his room anyways. I leaned up off of him for a moment to toss the jacket off to the side of the bed. His carpet monster would probably make a good meal of another one of the articles of clothing but I couldn't care less. The only thing that I was worried about right now was that he was with me. We were back to normal, and that was what made it worth it.

"You know," I said, leaning down to kiss him once more. "There is one thing that Four doesn't have."

His pierced brow rose and it made me want to twist the piercing around. But I was sure that he would appreciate that. And we didn't need to get into another fight after just making up from our previous one. His hands traveled back up from my ankles to the tops of my thighs, over the back pocket of my jeans, and settled on my hips.

"What's that?" he asked.

His voice was huskier than normal and I loved the sound of it. "Me," I stated proudly, giving him a cheesy grin.

But Eric never missed a beat. "Lucky him," he muttered more to himself than to me.

"Excuse you!" I shouted.

It was in that moment that it didn't matter that his fear was of having to kill me. All that mattered was the happy laugh that escaped my mouth as I shoved Eric back roughly. It did nothing to him, but it still made me feel better. He easily rolled me over underneath him and I smiled as I began to undo the buttons on his jacket.

Unlike normal, we were slow to disrobe each other. We usually rushed and scattered our clothes throughout the room but it was nicer this time. I helped Eric shrug out of the offending garment and toss it over the edge of the bed. My legs wrapped around his hips as his hands went down to the lower buttons on my shirt. I was faster though. I knocked his hands to the side and twisted underneath him, escaping from his tight grip.

"I don't think so," I said.

"What?" Eric snapped irritably.

"If you think that Four is lucky to not have me... I can go change his luck," I teased.

Of course it was a lie - as Four was definitely just like my brother - but I knew that Eric wouldn't stand for my words. He reacted just the way that I wanted. He grabbed my ankles and tugged me back underneath him. I had to fight to keep the smile off of my face as his hands went to the top of my shirt and ripped off a button, popping it open over my chest.

" _You are mine,"_ Eric snarled, heat spreading through my entire body.

I finally let the smile rise to my lips as I shook my boots off of my feet. It was a little harder than I would have liked to admit. Using my foot, only caged in the black ankle sock, I pushed Eric back away from me. His easily could have advanced on me once more but he merely let me push him back. He smirked down at me as I undid the rest of the buttons on my shirt and leaned up, pulling if off of my shoulders. Eric's hand gently traced over my stomach, tickling me slightly, as I let my shirt slink to the floor.

We met in a somewhat chaste kiss and Eric smirked against my lips. "Show me," I whispered against his mouth.

He really was so easy. Eric's hands went down to the button on my jeans and I took his moment of weakness against him. He had always called me Amity. I wanted to show him that I was Dauntless. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and yanked him off of me. Eric fell to the side, having not expected it, and I took the moment to kick out at him. His stunned face fell into a smirk as he realized what I was doing. He caught my ankle and threw me off of the side of the bed. I yelled out as I hit the ground.

Eric was leaning over the edge of the bed, leering at me. I rolled my eyes, a little upset that I hadn't done anything more than knock him off of his knees. He was smiling as I leaned up, grabbing his arm and yanking roughly. Thankfully I could use my weight to my advantage. He came falling to the floor and spread his legs to avoid crushing me. I didn't give him a chance to recover as I flipped over myself to get away from me.

He was faster as he came charging at me and knocked me flat on my back. I coughed and threw my thigh over the back of his neck, pulling him to the side. He had barely moved from my shove, but it was just enough to wiggle out of his grip. He was waiting for me to make my move. He had always beaten me in our wrestling matches, so I wanted to show him that I had learned something, even if I couldn't beat him.

"You'll lose, Amity," he teased.

"Wanna bet?" I asked.

"You don't seem to do very well with bets."

"You can do whatever you want to me if you win."

The darkness sank into Eric's eyes as he looked at me. "Deal," he finally said.

That was all the confirmation that I needed. I threw my leg out to kick Eric in the stomach, but he saw it coming. He grabbed my foot and shoved it down, leaning forward to hit me with a right hook. I barely managed to duck out of the way before coming back up and elbowing him in the ribs. He grunted at the hit and made a move to hit me in the ribs, which definitely hurt. I ducked underneath his second hit and grabbed his arm, twisting it backwards.

He grunted and leaned down towards the ground, making me think that I'd won. But he manage to turn it around on me as he used one of his legs to sweep out my own. I landed flat on my back before rolling back upwards. Eric made a move to hit me again - which I blocked - as I twisted around, stepping so that we were standing shoulder-to-shoulder. I grabbed his hands before rolling the two of us up and over into a somersault.

We were thrown to the ground roughly and I used Eric's moment of weakness against him. I threw out my leg towards Eric's face. He caught my foot at the last moment and used it to roll us on the ground twice. He used his spare leg to kick me in the stomach as I kicked him roughly in the face. We got back to our feet and I turned to Eric, who was smirking at me.

"You've gotten better," he commented.

"I had a good teacher," I shot back.

I threw out another hit at Eric, hoping that he wouldn't be expecting it, but he was. He ducked underneath my hit and threw an arm out to me that I was just barely able to catch, jamming his arm downwards by hitting his elbow with my own and using my spare arm immediately after to grab onto his jacket and punch him in the face. To my shock, I actually did hit him.

I sent another hit to his ribs and made to hit him in the face again, but that time he caught me. I tried to kick him in the stomach but he shoved my knee back downwards. I tried to punch him again but he swung under my hit before reaching up and punching me in the face twice. I was groaning in pain as I caught what would have been his third hit, locking his arm underneath mine, and turning us. I sent out a roundhouse kick that he ducked away from as I backed off of him.

He jumped up and sent two kicks into my chest, both of which I managed to narrowly avoid. His third kick hit the side of my head but I was smart enough to jam my foot into his knee. He groaned and collapsed on the ground. I ducked to the ground to swipe out his legs, but he was up and stumbling backwards already. I used my momentum to jump into the air and send a full roundhouse kick into his jaw. That one connected. He was sent flying up and over, landing hard on his stomach.

My happiness at getting a good hit in only lasted for so long. He stood back upright and rushed at me, immediately punching me in the face, blocking two of my own hits. We exchanged blows back and forth, neither doing much damage to the other, when Eric managed to grab my hand. I knew immediately that I had made a mistake.

I jammed my elbow back into his nose but it wasn't enough. He grabbed my hair and yanked me towards him so that we were standing with my back to his front. He had twisted my arm painfully so that my own arm was wrapped over my throat. Eric was still holding my wrist when he turned so that our backs were pressed against each other and I was being pulled up into my own arm, choking myself. Unable to move, I was useless to stop his attack. He ripped my arm downwards so that I was thrown over myself and painfully thrown to the floor.

As I tried to suck air back into my lungs, Eric was standing above me, smirking at his work. "Good work, Amity. I almost had to try that time," Eric teased.

"You're an ass," I said breathlessly.

"You're a sore loser," he teased. "That was for kicking me."

It took me a while to get back to my feet. The fight was over and I had lost. But I'd made the bet with that in mind. I let out a little laugh as I stumbled to my feet and took a gulp of water. My head was spinning, partially from the fall and partially from the alcohol. He rolled his eyes at me and walked over to the bed, sitting down once more. He had a letter on his bedside and he grabbed a small letter opener to open it. I rolled my eyes and sighed. _No fun._

I'd thought that he would come to collect. I made my way back over to the bed and went to grab my shirt once more. If he was going to respond to letters, or whatever the hell he was doing, I was going to go to bed. As I walked back to the bed Eric grabbed the belt loop on my pants and yanked me over the bed. I yelled out as I rolled over myself against the sheets.

He laughed and leaned over me. There was a small black mark forming on his head from where I had kicked him. I was sure that I looked worse. Eric was holding the small knife out to me. A lump formed in my throat as I stared at it, glinting in the light of the room. Was he seriously going to hurt me? His only laughed and dropped the knife to my pants.

"Eric, I like these pants!" I cried out as the blade bit into the top part of the fabric.

"Shut up or I will cut you," Eric warned.

It was this dangerous side of him that I really liked. I nodded and watched as the sharp blade sliced through the fabric of one of the legs. I whined as they fell limply off of me. Eric rolled his eyes, tracing the blade gently back up my leg to the inner thigh. I shivered at the invasion of the cold and metal object. There was something seriously wrong with me if this was what had turned me on. This and a fist fight a moment before.

"I'll buy you new pants." _Fuck the pants, I just want you._

Something was seriously wrong with me. Eric rolled the knife over my core, splitting the fabric there and I sighed as the blade moved its way over my other upper thigh and rolled around my backside to finally cut the fabric free from me. There was definitely no saving those pants. As the fabric fell away from me, I found myself wishing that he would do that more often. A thought that made a blush rise to my cheeks.

A few months ago I would have thought that someone doing this to me would be the scariest and most offensive thing that someone could do. But now it was something that I couldn't get enough of. And I almost liked that he hadn't placed the knife down yet. _What the hell is wrong with me_?

"Something is wrong with me and it's your fault," I said.

Eric's eyebrow raised. "There are lots of things wrong with you," he teased.

I laughed and nudged him gently. "I didn't want you to stop," I admitted.

The sound of Eric's laugh was something that had once unnerved me. It had always sounded so cruel and cold. Now it sounded warm and inviting. It was a different kind of laugh from the one that he had given when I had found myself getting hurt during training. This laugh was from a man sharing an intimate night with his woman. This was a laugh that only I heard. At least, I liked to hope that I was the only one that heard that laugh.

"Welcome to Dauntless, _Amity,_ " Eric teased. I laughed and grabbed the knife from Eric. "You won't like what happens if you cut me."

"You have no faith in me," I told Eric.

"Not with a knife," he said darkly.

I knew that it was a hit at the time that I had thrown a knife at him. But this time I didn't want to actually hurt him. Eric nodded at me as I leaned up from the bed and pushed him onto his back. Eric grunted and watched with dark eyes. One of his hands followed the curve of my spine and back down so that he could tug down the band of my underwear.

"Stop or I will cut you," I told him honestly.

He chuckled under his breath. I had still drank a little bit too much and I didn't trust myself to focus on more than one thing at a time. Eric laughed and moved his hands away. I pulled the top of his shirt away from his torso, running the knife underneath it. I easily sliced through the material, laughing as it fell apart and Eric shrugged out of it.

Without giving me any warning, Eric snatched the knife and tossed it away from us. It landed with a little thud in the wall, sticking in its place. _Not bad._ I hoped he didn't like that wall too much. He laughed and rolled me over onto my back once more. I sighed and struggled to open the button on his pants.

"Getting a little excited, Amity?" Eric asked.

"Shut up and take your fucking pants off," I snarled at him.

Eric's eyebrows rose in question and for a moment I thought that he might say no. But he didn't. He laughed and leaned away from me, helping remove his pants. Once they were thrown into the corner of the room I laughed and pulled his mouth down to mine again. He groaned as I tugged on his lower lip, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He leaned up and I held on as he grabbed me and lifted me into his arms. I sensed that he knew where he was going so I didn't bother to pull away from him. He had lived here for years. He didn't need his eyes to know where he was going. Our lips tangled together as Eric walked us backwards. His hands were tight on my upper thighs. One of his hands bunched the fabric of my underwear and ripped it away from my body. Literally.

"Six," I said against Eric's mouth. He opened his eyes long enough to look at me. "Six pairs of underwear of mine you've ruined."

Eric merely shook his head. He walked us backwards and I smiled as he opened the door to a large balcony. I had seen it before but had never bothered asking Eric if I could walk out here. It was beautiful. The lights from Erudite, Candor, Amity, and Abnegation were shining out in the distance. Erudite was the closest and their Faction was the brightest. Although the Candor tower was bright too, lighting up the sky. I smiled, saying a silent hello to Iris and Florian. My Mom and Dad too. I could tell by the positioning about where my house was.

"I'll buy you new ones," Eric repeated himself, his lips mumbling against the skin of my neck.

"Nice view you have out here," I said.

He nodded as he seated me on the thin railing. It was the only thing that separated the balcony from the three of four story drop to the ground. And an impact from up here would definitely kill me. No other balconies seemed to be on this side of the building and I titled my head at him. He couldn't be the only person with a balcony. Was he?

Eric hummed as he kissed my lips quickly. Our mouths tangled together for a moment and I smiled into it. His lips traveled down my neck and I shivered as they traced the line of my bra. One of his hands slipped down over my stomach and spread my legs. I was a little nervous that one false move would send me plummeting to my death, but Eric didn't seem bothered with it.

"One of the perks of being a leader," Eric said and I nodded. "None of the other leaders live out of this side of the compound and I'm the top level. No one else can see out here."

I smirked at the thought. We could be out here without worry. Our relationship was still forbidden. "Not bad. I'll be sure to get one of these myself," I boasted.

Eric laughed as he popped open the button on the front of my bra. I smiled and rolled my shoulders back so that he could pull it free, leaving me completely disrobed. He smirked as he took the bra in hand and chucked it, overhanded, off of the balcony. I turned back as Eric's mouth dropped down to my chest and watched it go flying off towards the Erudite compound.

"Oh, come on! You did that on purpose," I snarled at Eric.

He merely smirked at me once as he leaned me back a little further on the railing. His lips made their way to brush past my ear. "I'll buy you a new one," he purred at me once more.

Heat pooled in between my thighs as he dropped a hand down and stroked my core. I groaned and threw my head back. It spun slightly from the alcohol and I jerked up, suddenly remembering just how precarious my current position was. Even though he was strong, I didn't trust that he would forget to help support me.

"What?" Eric snapped at me.

"Don't you dare drop me," I hissed.

Eric rolled his eyes as he slipped his finger in between my folds, essentially ignoring what I'd told him. I groaned deep in my throat, throwing my head back. _Yep, I'm drunk._ The world spun around me and my vision went fuzzy as he slid his finger in and out of me. A soft sigh escaped my mouth. It felt like it had been a long time since we had done this. Far too long. I wished that we hadn't been fighting for all of this time.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him closer for a kiss. His forearm was pressed against my stomach as he slid his finger out of my body and replaced it with two. I groaned into his mouth and he took the moment to slip his tongue into my mouth. We wrestled for dominance as his fingers curled inside me. He certainly knew how to get me going. I gasped and he smirked into the kiss, breaking our fight for dominance.

His mouth went down my lips and my jaw, trailing down my neck. More than once he would suck a mark into the skin, leaving his own little mark on me. My entire body shivered at the feeling. I knew just how much he wanted the world to know that I was his and it sent chills down my spine. The air outside was cold but our bodies pressing together were boiling. I knew what he was saying as he created a new mark and bit down over it, leaving the mark an ugly black and reddish color. _You're mine._ I sure was.

My legs spread a little wider at his insistence, considering that he was pressing the inside of them apart. I groaned when his head dropped down and caught my nipple. His mouth suctioned over me and I let out a little gasp at the feeling. It didn't seem that anyone was out on the walkway below us, but I didn't want to attract any attention to myself. Just in case. His tongue flitted over me and I wrapped my fingers in his hair at the feeling.

Giving it a tug, Eric bit down roughly and tugged slightly. It sent a shock of pain and pleasure through my body and I leaned my head back once more. His hands were still tight around my back, ensuring that I wasn't going to fall. I was sure that his fingers were going to leave bruises on my back. But I would have preferred that to becoming a human pancake. The only thing to catch me was the concrete ground a few stories below.

Eric pulled his fingers out of me for a moment to add a third in. At the new angle that he was hitting, one that he had never hit before, I threw my head back and loudly cried out his name. It echoed throughout the air. His movements became more frenzied as his name spilled from my mouth repeatedly. I groaned as they began to curl inside me once more. I ground my hips down over Eric's hand, wanting nothing more than for him to be completely inside of me.

But naturally that wasn't the way that it was going to go. His hand tightened over my back even more and I hissed as they dug into the sensitive skin. Eric backed away from me for a moment but left his fingers inside of me. I raised my brows at him, wondering what he was planning on doing now.

"Don't move," he said.

In all honesty, I wasn't planning on moving at any point. I went to ask him what he meant, but before I could, his hand left my back and he dropped down into a squat in front of me. My hands went tightly on the bar that I was sitting on, keeping me from slipping backwards. He shoved my legs apart, straining the muscles in my thighs as his mouth met the spot right over where his fingers were placed.

At the sudden feeling I moaned loudly, throwing my head back. His tongue swirled around my clit and his fingers curled inside of me. His name poured from my mouth as my hands tightened on the railing that I was propped up on. The icy wind hit my chest and I shivered as his teeth dragged against my clit. My entire body gave a small jolt at the sudden feeling of him tugging at my clit. His fingers continued to pump inside me over and over again as I groaned in a mix of pain and pleasure.

"E-Eric," I stuttered as he pulled on my clit and tugged it slightly.

I was getting close but I didn't want to tell him. He would stop. I knew that he would. Because he only wanted me to hit my end with him inside of me. His fingers curled up against the spot deep inside of me and I knew that was it. My eyes slipped closed and I wrapped my shins around Eric's neck to keep from falling off of the railing. My entire body erupted in spasms as I threw my head back, crying out in ecstasy.

"Eric!" I yelled out, knowing damn well that if anyone was walking around in the plaza below they would hear me.

That was all that I wanted. That was what I had needed over the past week. My walls clenched around his fingers and he curled them once more, rubbing his thumb against my clit, making my spasms even harder. He knew that I had given in and he wanted to make it as good as possible. My entire body was shaking as stars flooded my vision. He gave me one last, long, lick and stood, slowly retracting his fingers. He was watching me with dark eyes as he stood back up and kissed me roughly.

The moment that he broken away from me, I grabbed onto him. "Get inside me. _Now,_ " I snarled under my breath.

My chest was still rising and falling rapidly from my previous high, but Eric didn't bother stopping me. I had gotten what I'd wanted, and now it was his turn. His hands dropped to the waistband of his underwear but I was far too impatient. My hands dropped with his and I ripped them off of him, watching as he sprung free.

One of Eric's hands suddenly wrapped around my back as the other shoved my legs apart. I grunted loudly as he shoved himself inside of me. I threw back my head at the sudden intrusion and gasped loudly as he rocked in and out of me, not giving me a chance to get used to him. Not that I wanted a chance. I liked the way that he took charge of everything.

His movements were fast and harsh. His fingers were tearing at my skin slightly and I used one arm to loop around his neck. I kissed him deeply as his hands tightened on my hips and he thrust into me. He was large and it stretched me as far as I possibly could, but it felt so damned good. I never wanted him to stop.

As he thrust into me roughly, I raised my hips and rolled them slightly. His eyes slipped closed as he kissed me once more. I bit down on his lip and he groaned, thrusting into me so hard that I was sure it would leave black bruises on the inside of my thighs. His lips went to my neck and I groaned as he kissed the inside of the crook. It didn't take long for his tongue to start tracing patterns. The bundle was once more building in my stomach and I groaned. He was the only person that could ever do this to me.

For a while we rocked together, each of us grunting and thrusting our hips to meet the other's. His thrusts were hard and fast while my body twisted up to meet his, making him hit the deepest part of me. I cried out once more as Eric's teeth nipped at my neck again, sending a jolt through me.

"Say my name," he snarled.

Breathing heavily, I opened my mouth to say it, but it was taken over by a moan as Eric rocked roughly into me. It was so hard that it nearly shoved me backwards. I could feel the pressure building in my stomach and I knew that I was getting close to my end again. Eric gave a few more sharp thrusts and I knew that he too was near his end.

"Say it!" Eric yelled loudly as he hit another sharp thrust.

"Eric!"

His name spilled from my lips loudly as another orgasm rocked my entire body. Every muscle in my body began to tighten and that included around him. He lifted my body from the railing so that he was carrying my entire weight as he let me ride out my orgasm. I wasn't sure how he was managing to carry my own weight without letting some of my weight off on something else, but it didn't matter. Whatever he was doing was perfect. It made my orgasm even stronger.

It was so strong that I could barely see through my lidded eyes, my breath almost impossible to catch. We were completely pressed up against each other and my nails raked down his back. God, he felt good. My juices were flowing over him and down my legs as he grabbed my hair, pulling it back, only increasing the pleasure that I was feeling.

His thrusts had become messy as he jabbed upwards into me, trying to hit his end. I knew that me tightening around him was only getting him closer to his end. By the way that he caught my mouth in a searing kiss, I knew that he was nearing his wits end as well. His body had begun to shake and I waited for him to join me in complete bliss.

"Alex," he groaned into my neck.

It was one of the rare times that he said my name. Even during sex. I felt him come inside of me and it didn't stop for a while. His thrusts were desperate as he rode his own orgasm, jerking into me. He finally stilled and lifted me completely from the railing. We were both panting as my legs tightened around his waist. He walked us back inside of the apartment, not bothering to close the sliding glass door behind him. My head had dropped against his chest as I looked at our torn clothes, scattered across the room.

We made it to the bed quickly and I laughed softly as he dropped us back onto the bed. As I hit the sheets I realized that there was sweat all over my back from our movements. Eric twisted halfway through the fall so that I fell over him. I leaned up slightly, finally letting him fall out of me. We both shivered at the sudden loss of each other as Eric moved over onto his side, letting me slip softly off of him and onto the bed.

He kissed me softly on the lips before leaning over and grabbing something off of the floor, tossing it over to me. I thanked him softly and pulled his shirt on over my head. The one that I hadn't cut off of him. He pulled me in for another kiss that quickly became heated. It wasn't long before he rolled me underneath him and jammed my legs apart, thrusting back into me. It had brought us into round two and rounds three and four not long after that. Not that either of us had lasted a long time during any of the following rounds. It was easy to say that make-up sex was the best.

Once we had both finished our final time, I fell off of him once more, panting heavily. Somehow the shirt had stayed on me the entire time. He was completely bare and I smiled, kissing him one last time. His hands twisted in my hair softly before releasing me. I almost wanted another round, but I was tired and it was late.

I went to roll over, his shirt riding up on my thighs. To my surprise he caught me. His arm wrapped around my waist and he yanked me painfully into him. I smiled and grabbed one of his legs in between mine. His laughter was low and rumbling, the sound making me smile. Eric tilted my face up to kiss him once more. As I finally fell asleep, I realized that tonight had made me happier than I had been in a long time.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **gurpreet: I'm so glad that you loved this one too! He's so cocky and arrogant and that's what makes Eric great! Lol :)**

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you liked this one too! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

The sunlight was pouring through the windows, thrown off by the icy air that surrounded the room. I shivered softly and huddled underneath the blankets a little further. Eric might not have been a super soft guy but he had the best taste in blankets. They were so much better than the scratchy and moth-eaten blankets that were in the initiate dorms.

It had been another week since Eric and I had made up after our nasty fight. Things had been better over the past week than they had been since we had gotten together. Since we had first met really. I'd spent the majority of nights with Eric lately but I usually didn't come until late. Long after my friends would fall asleep. I would spend my evenings with them and wait for them to fall asleep. Heather would always be the last one awake so that I could say goodbye to her.

She was the one person that might have been happier than Eric and I that we had made up, besides Cameron. If Heather wasn't with Cole I would have tried to set them up. They could have all sorts of fun planning out how they could shove Eric and I closer together. It wasn't just Heather and Cameron. All of my friends were happy to see me back to normal. I was too.

Part of it helped that I had moved on from the fear of killing Eric. I knew that both Eric and I were happier in this past week than we had been in a while. I was extremely grateful that Eric had shown me his fear the other week. We hadn't spoken of it since that night but we both knew that there was a silent agreement. We would never hurt each other. Not like that. Although despite what Eric thought, that could change soon.

But that was the last thing that I wanted to think about right now. All that I wanted to think about was how damned comfortable his bed was. I was seriously hoping that when I became a member I would get a bed like this. If I managed to live that long. Shaking those thoughts from my head, I glanced over to where Eric was cooking breakfast and popped one eye just barely open.

Eric wasn't wearing any clothes as he tried to cook the bacon. He rarely actually put clothes on in the morning. We had learned recently that we were both lousy cooks. But somehow he was better than me. I watched as a pop of grease came soaring out of the pan and landed on his nether regions, burning him. He jumped back and began to curse as I let out a soft snort.

Eric's head shot in my direction when he heard my snort and I turned to bury my head in the pillows quickly. I wasn't ready to get up yet. And I knew that Eric was going to kick me out to get to training. Despite the fact that he was no longer really my trainer, he still acted like it. A few nights this past week we had snuck into the training room and Eric had gotten me to run drills with him.

Part of me had a feeling that it was because of the wrestling match that I had started with him the other night. Of course I'd lost, but I had enjoyed the bruise that I'd given him on his temple. I was glad to see that my skills hadn't lessened any in the past few weeks but Eric was still able to get me to the mats without a second thought if he really wanted to. Girlfriend, or whatever I was, or not, he was still going to show me that he was stronger. Not that I didn't know that.

Despite his enjoyment of beating me in the ring at night, Eric had been rather open to me in the past few days. Nothing startling or more than what normal friends would share with each other, but I knew that it was a big step for Eric. He was rather closed off about his life before Dauntless. And even when he had been in training. Just to hear the occasional story about his time in training made me smile.

We weren't really that affectionate towards each other - we hit each other more than anything else - but I didn't mind that. I didn't like laying all over each other and whispering sweet words. I preferred to get in shoving matches, trip each other, and make snide remarks. But he was finally starting to act more like a boyfriend to me. Not that we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

That didn't really bother me. I had thought that maybe I was insane but Heather had agreed that calling him my boyfriend was stupid. She didn't even call Cole her boyfriend. They were just together. Maybe it was a Dauntless thing. Even if it wasn't, Eric was not the type of guy to put a name on a relationship.

As I laid in bed I let my mind wander back to the progress that we had made in the past week. I still knew next to nothing about his childhood in Erudite. The only things that I knew about his childhood were from what I had read in the file back in Erudite. He had told me a few stories about his initiation. Apparently it was shorter when he was an initiate; it was only four months. We both agreed that initiation was too long but I also thought that four months was too short. Five sounded fair to me.

Maybe if I ever got the chance to be a leader I would handle a change in initiation to make it a little shorter and change the rule about kicking low ranking initiates out. There were plenty of ideas that I already had, but I knew that it would never happen. I would never be a leader with Max around.

While Eric had told me stories of his initiation, I had told him a few stories of my childhood. I had told him that my grades had always been on par with the Erudite children in my classes. Eric had laughed and told me that I wasn't that smart. I had agreed with him. I was no moron but I certainly wasn't that smart. I would have stayed away from Eric if I was.

In the kitchen I heard Eric mutter another curse and I smirked. He was no chef. I rolled in Eric's bed once more, accidentally knocking the sheets off of me. His shirt that I was wearing rode up around my hips but I didn't bother to fix it. It was like Eric had said, it was nothing he hadn't seen before. I heard Eric snort on the other side of the apartment and I rolled my eyes.

My mind wandered to the rankings once more. It was something that I frequently thought about. Even more so now that we were approaching the end of training. A few people had moved around the board but for the most part we had stilled where we were.

Heather has finally moved up to the tenth spot, keeping her safe from Fence duty. Of course we had celebrated with a girl's day when I had seen that. Lisa had taken her place at the eleventh spot but I had assured her that she wouldn't be on the Fence. She was a good shot. I had a feeling that she would be off with the patrols. As for me, the last time that I had checked my ranking yesterday morning I had only been eight points away from the number one spot. I could very well be there this morning.

Four had been absolutely thrilled with my progress lately. As had Eric, but he hadn't been there to see it. Through three more midnight sessions with Four, he had taught me how to save my sister. As it turned out, it was possible. I had been forced to turn and run in a sprint to be able to shove the Factionless man to the ground before he could reach Mom. From there a Dauntless guard would come and take him away. As cruel as it was, Factionless weren't even supposed to be in the main City areas.

Speaking of my new sister, just the other day my Mom had sent me a letter that was a sonogram, showing me my sister for the first time. Eric had brought me the letter during dinner, written in my mother's loopy hand. I could tell she had been excited when she had written it. The letters were messy. I had been so happy that I had nearly kissed Eric. Which would have been a bad idea. Thankfully Heather had noticed and she had thought to grab me in a hug first.

As I shifted slightly in the bed once more I gave another shiver. The apartment was freezing this morning. The same way that we had left off a week ago Eric had left the balcony door open last night. But we hadn't fooled around out there. It was too damn cold. The weather had taken a dive in the past week. It was getting towards winter and the harsh wind was proof. We hadn't lasted long out there.

We had each taken a cup of coffee and crammed together in the only chair out on the balcony. It had probably been a sweet sight. I had been draped in his sweater and sitting on his lap, laughing together like we didn't have a care in the world. I just wished that every day could have been like the past few. But I knew that in another five weeks, when training ended, Jeanine Matthews would have me right where she wanted. I was going to find out what 'hold for Phase Three' meant.

But that was a problem for another time. Right now my only problem was how bloody cold Eric's stupid apartment was. I wanted to pick up the blanket, but I would have to officially wake up. Maybe it was time for me to wake up anyways. In the meantime, maybe all that hot air in Eric's head left him unaffected.

"You happened to ever read Dante's _Inferno_?" I asked Eric.

He didn't even bother to look up at me. I figured that he had already known that I was awake. "I have," he said.

"Well it feels like Cocytus in here," I said.

In the book, Cocytus was the ninth circle of hell and it was where Lucifer himself resided. He was frozen up the neck in ice and his wings were so huge that when they beat they would send icy chills through the air on the entire circle. It was always one of my favorite stories, despite being banned in Amity.

Even from all the way back in the bed I could see the smirk in Eric's eyes. He was intensely focused on the bacon and I nearly laughed. It was already burning. I could smell it. Although my bacon had tasted more like rubber. I wasn't sure which one I preferred. The only thing that Eric made that was really stellar were drinks. He was better than the bartender. Maybe if he had ranked lower during his initiation that was what he would have done.

"Get off your lazy ass and close the door then," he said.

I rolled my eyes but stood anyways. "Don't be rude," I teased.

He glanced back at me and scoffed, turning back to the bacon. I thought about closing the door but decided against it. Instead I grabbed Eric's discarded sweater from the night before and pulled it on, heading into the kitchen. I hopped up on the counter and watched Eric stare down at the pan. His gaze alone was probably enough to burn the meat that I was sure was already well past burnt.

"Isn't that burning?" I asked.

Eric merely shrugged as he left the stove and turned to me. "It's not," he said.

"I'm pretty sure that it is," I said.

"I don't care."

One of these days I was sure that he was going to burn this place down. But he was right about not caring. I'd rather just spend time with him. His fingers hooked around the bottom of the sweater as he stepped closer to me. I smiled softly as he grabbed the bottom of the sweater and yanked it over my head. I opened my mouth to complain but Eric beat me to it.

He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into him for a harsh kiss. It immediately stopped any complaints that I might have had beforehand. He yanked me across the counter towards him and I moaned softly. He was always warmer than me and right now I drank it in. Eric grabbed the garment in his hands and tossed it to the floor.

"Hey wait, I wanted that," I said, breaking away from him.

He merely shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "Too bad. It's mine and I want it over there," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "You're such a five year old sometimes," I pointed out.

He grinned sideways at me. I knew that he only did that because he knew that it would bother me. Not that I didn't do things to bother him all the time. I leaned into him slightly to kiss the spot right over his clavicle. He let out a low growl as he grabbed my hair and pulled me away from him, placing a searing kiss on my mouth.

"Besides, you look better without it. Without this too," he said.

His hands dropped to remove the shirt from my body - the only article of clothing that separated us from each other - before I smacked his hand away. I was starving. All I wanted was to get some food in me before I could think about anything like that. Of course Eric took it the other way.

"Prude," he growled.

I shook my head and laughed. "After what we did last night you're going to call me a prude?" I asked.

Eric smirked and nodded at me. "I don't remember what we did. You'll have to remind me," he teased, pressing his mouth against the crook of my neck.

In all honesty, I knew that he did remember what we had done last night. He knew that no prude would do anything that we had done last night. I was sure that his neighbors had gone to find somewhere else to sleep. Not that I cared. Eric was a leader and no one would say anything against him.

"I intend to remind you," I whispered.

"So do it."

"Food first. Feed me and you can do whatever the hell you want to me," I told him honestly.

"Deal."

Eric smirked at me and tugged on a strand of my hair before turning and walking away, heading to the bacon. He grabbed the strips out of the pan and split them up on two plates, giving himself a few more than me. He set down a plate for himself at the stool in front of the kitchen sign before sliding the other plate over to me.

"Thanks," I said softly.

The two of us sat together as I leaned over the plate and began eating. It was definitely burned. Once we were allowed to go out in public we would have to eat only in the dining room. We were going to poison each other if we kept trying to cook. Eric pulled on a pair of black underwear and I grinned.

"I liked you the other way better," I said, biting off a tiny piece of bacon.

He looked up from his plate to give me a suggestive smirk. "Then come here and take them off," he said.

I returned his smirk and decided to take the challenge. "No problem," I growled.

Breakfast could wait. I hopped off of the counter and sauntered over to Eric. He watched me come closer to him as I took a step between his legs, reaching my arms up and tugging on his hair. Which he hadn't bothered to brush. He wrapped one arm around my lower back and tugged me flush against him.

We were standing right together as I let my hands very slowly trace up his legs. I could feel him shivering at my touch. I smiled and pushed my mouth against his. He tasted almost like someone would have after a night of barbecued vegetables at Amity. The thought made me smile. To think about how different the two Factions were, but little things like that could happen to show me that we weren't so different. The kiss lasted for a long while before I sighed and backed away from him.

"I don't recall saying you could leave," Eric growled.

His hands tightened on my back and I smiled at him. "I don't recall asking your permission," I snapped back.

Eric glared at me as I looked up at the clock. It was already well past seven. I needed to be down to training in just under thirty minutes and the longer I hung around here the more I would have to try and explain to Four why I was late. I might have made it on time but I didn't want to risk it. Especially not when Four would know what I was doing to make me late.

"It's late, I gotta get to training," I told Eric, who merely shrugged.

"Four has to listen to me. I can tell him you had business to attend to beforehand," he said.

"I have to be at training. I can't be late again," I whined.

"I don't care. Four won't know," Eric hissed.

I had to hold back a laugh. Sometimes I forgot that Eric didn't know that Four knew about us. I hummed under my breath and moved a little closer to him. Maybe I could risk being just a few minutes late. Four would understand. I moved in between Eric's legs again and he smirked, grabbing me tightly. His lips met mine once more and I smiled as Eric's tongue dipped into my mouth. Despite the fact that I knew he hadn't drank since last night, he still tasted like alcohol. He always did.

"Get over here," Eric purred.

He mumbled it against my lips and I laughed, moving into him a little more. He didn't need to tell me anything more than that. All I wanted was to be near him. His hands wound their way over my waist as he grabbed me underneath my thighs and lifted me up to straddle his lap, keeping our mouths connected the entire time.

His hips lifted to meet mine and I let out a soft moan into his mouth. I could feel Eric's lips turn upwards at the knowledge that he could affect me like that. His hands traveled down to the hem of the shirt and I felt him bunch the material up, about ready to pull it free from my shoulders. But before he got the chance to do so, the door to Eric's apartment flew open. _God damn it_!

Short on time, I panicked and flung myself off of Eric, immediately remembering that our relationship was against Dauntless rules. I looked for a place to hide myself but I knew that it was too late. There was a soft laughter coming from the door and I glanced back up. I suppose if anyone were to see the two of us like that it was a good thing that it was him. Cameron was leaning against the frame of the door as he slammed the door shut. I blushed a magnificent red and took a few steps behind the counter.

"Good morning, kids. Sorry to interrupt. Good to see you, Alex," Cameron greeted.

I smiled weakly. "Cameron," I greeted.

"Eric, never wasting a moment," he joked.

Instead of laughing with Cameron, he snapped. "Get out!" Eric yelled.

Cameron merely laughed and walked past Eric, patting him on the shoulder. I smiled slightly at the scene. Had anyone else done that Eric would have laid them out. Cameron walked into the kitchen towards where I was standing and I smiled when he wrapped his arms around me. Although I was hyper aware that Eric's shirt was the only thing that I was wearing.

"Interesting timing you have," I teased Cameron.

He smiled at me. "I have a knack for it," he responded.

"What do you want?" Eric hissed.

A small smile fell over Cameron's face as he released me. "Well I just came to say hello but I didn't realize that I would be interrupting something," he said with a smirk.

He turned his head away from Eric and me, the former who was muttering cruel curses, and looked around the room. I followed his line of sight and blushed. The blankets on his bed were thrown everywhere and our clothes were scattered throughout the room. It was all obviously revealing what we had been doing last night.

"You weren't interrupting something," I said awkwardly, knowing that Cameron wouldn't believe me.

"That so?" Cameron asked. I nodded dumbly. "I see someone was in a rush last night. Or maybe this morning." I smiled and looked down at my bare feet. "Alex, you weren't thinking of being late to training, were you?"

Another blush rose to my face as I smiled at Cameron, giving a little laugh. "Ask your friend," I said, motioning towards Eric.

Eric was going to make me late for training. Cameron laughed loudly as Eric glared at me. "That sounds about right," Cameron said.

"Anyways, I think I'm going to go now," I said, now that Eric had someone else to mess with.

As much as I would have liked to hang around, it was time for me to head out and get to training. I'd been late enough. Four was going to kill me if I kept making myself late for everything. I walked through the room and grabbed my shirt and shorts, continuing to hunt for my underwear, bra, and jacket. Not to mention my shoes. Where the hell did all of my clothes go? They seemed to always go missing at the most inconvenient times.

Cameron was poking fun at Eric as I hunted for my clothes. I knew that Eric was fuming. I was a little upset too. I had wanted a quick go with Eric. As I searched the room there was a knock at the door and I tensed. It wasn't Four. And he was the only other member that knew about us. As I glanced back at the other men I saw that they had straightened up as well.

"Get the door!" Cameron hissed at Eric, who jumped up and began to tug on the clothing that was the closest to him.

Cameron turned to me and I nearly cried out. "Where do I go?" I asked desperately.

"Just get those with you. Under the bed," he said as I grabbed my clothes in my hand and shimmied myself under the bed. "Go. Go!" Cameron shoved me underneath the bed quickly.

It was a little tough to find my spot underneath it. Cameron began to shuffle the blankets over my hiding spot and I managed to find a little crevice where I could see out of. I saw Eric pull on his pants and toss the sweater that I had been wearing moments before over his head. He walked over and opened the door to reveal Max. Both men looked unconcerned as they stepped back to let the leader into the apartment. My stomach twisted in knots. This was the worst person that could be here right now.

Max moved to the side to enter the room and I slapped a hand over my mouth when I saw that it wasn't just Max. It was all of the leaders in Dauntless. I didn't know their names but I recognized the leader tattoos. There seemed to be a few other important people here as well. And in the background Jeanine Matthews and Jack Kang were speaking softly. Damn it. What were all of these people doing here? Why were they in Eric's apartment?

"Good morning, Eric. Cameron," Max greeted.

"Morning."

"Morning."

Both Eric and Cameron sounded very stiff. "I didn't realize that you two weren't ready yet," Max commented.

He was still standing in the threshold of the room. But the others were all still out in the hallway. "We were about to leave," Cameron said quickly.

"May we come in for a moment?" Max asked.

I wasn't fool enough to know that it wasn't a question. Eric had done that to me enough times. "Of course," Eric said.

He moved off to the side. The members of their little group came walking into the room and I watched as they all fanned out near the door. I knew that somewhere in the room were the rest of my clothing and some of Eric's too. I scuttled back under the bed a little further and nearly shrieked as something rubbed against my leg.

As I glanced down I saw that it was only a pair of my torn underwear. So that's where they went. I knew that my clothing had to be going somewhere. I knew that we hadn't destroyed all of it. I suppressed the urge to scoff as I looked back out into the living room to see what was happening. Eric had scooted into the kitchen and I quickly realized what he was doing. He was knocking over the picture of me in the red dress.

"Can I inquire to what this visit is for?" Eric asked. I had to hand it to Eric. He was good. Even in a panicky moment.

I shifted slightly so that I could see Max standing a few feet away from the bed. I had the most terrible feeling that he knew that I was here. "A few meetings here and there today. I have some with Jeanine and Jack. You have a few as well. They've been scheduled on the board in your office. You might want to check it out soon. Your first meeting is at ten," Max informed him.

Both Eric and Cameron were moving enough to keep the attention on them. They clearly wanted to make sure that no one was looking over to my pathetic hiding space. "Alright. Thank you," Eric said.

Max nodded blankly. It felt like my skin was crawling as Jeanine's cold eyes ran over the room. She stopped on each of Eric's garments and I noticed her eyes brighten when she tracked my underwear and bra. Both were lying near the sliding glass door that led to the balcony. Damn me. They were right there. Her eyes followed the pathway of clothes to the bed and I knew that she was smirking at the ruined sheets. She had to know that I was here somewhere. Her smile said that she did.

"Is there anything else?" Eric asked, breaking the silence.

Everyone had been looking over the mess and I was grateful that Eric had broken the awkward silence. "Yes. One last thing," Max said. Eric nodded and motioned for the man to continue. "I'm looking for an initiate of yours. An initiate that's just taken over the top ranking spot. Quite impressive."

Thankfully I hadn't made a noise to indicate that I knew what he had been talking about. Honestly I'd almost let it out. Ensuring that I wouldn't make a noise, I immediately covered my mouth. Taken over the top spot? That must have been me. I must have taken over the top spot this morning. But that meant that Max was looking for me. Why? He'd only spoken to me once that I could remember. I wasn't even sure that he knew what my name was.

"The Amity transfer. Alex, I believe her name is," Max said.

There went my theory that Max didn't know my name. Even from here I could see the muscles in Eric's jaw tighten. He clearly didn't like that Max was looking for me. "I'm not sure why'd you be coming to me for this, Max. I don't keep tabs on the initiates and after Phase One I don't have much to do with them. Four would be a better person to go check with," he said.

I knew that he was just trying to get Max out of the apartment. Max merely smiled. "Perhaps I'll do just that. You just seemed a little close with her. I thought that you might know where she's hiding," Max told Eric.

The tangled hair on the back of my neck stood on end and goosebumps began to spread over my entire body. It was the way that he said it. The mere fact that he had said that I was hiding. Did that mean that Max knew that I was in here? Or did his words reveal something more sinister? It made me sick to my stomach. Nothing made me happier than when Cameron stepped forwards and in between the two men, clearly trying to diffuse the tension that could have been cut with a knife.

"Max, perhaps I can give you a hand in finding her. I could have sworn that I saw her in the halls earlier," Cameron said.

"Did you?" Max asked curiously.

Clearly he wanted everyone out of the room as much as Eric did. "Maybe we can still catch her. Shall we?" Cameron offered.

It wasn't really a question, considering that he was holding out his arm for the men to leave the room with him. Max nodded and led Cameron from the room. As the other leaders and Jack Kang left the room I noticed that Jeanine Matthews stayed seated. She was sitting on the same stool that Eric had held me in his lap in just a few minutes ago. Max and Cameron stopped walking the moment that they realized that Jeanine was not following them.

"Jeanine," Max called to her.

I noticed Eric watching her with sharp eyes. He seemed to trust her about as much as I did. "That's a nice jacket, Eric. Although it looks a little small for you," she said, motioning to my jacket, which was on the floor from last night.

My stomach rolled over. I knew what she meant. Jeanine's eyes were sparkling and it became quickly obvious that she knew that it wasn't his. Obviously it wasn't his. The chest had excess material that was strictly a female design. Eric grunted irritably at her and Jeanine smiled before walking out of the apartment. Eric followed them and threw the deadbolt on the door, leaving just the two of us in the room. Eric turned back and walked back over to the bed.

"Come on out," Eric called.

I nodded and squirmed awkwardly out from under the bed. He tossed the blankets that were over my hiding spot back onto the bed and gave me a hand up. I brushed myself off and glared at my previous spot. Eric really needed to dust under his bed or something. Just in case I would have to hide under there again.

"Why does Max want to talk to you?" Eric asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, running my fingers through my hair. "Your guess is as good as mine," I said.

Eric merely narrowed his eyes. "Why?" he repeated.

"I'm not sure, Eric. But I guess I should be getting gone. Something tells me that Max isn't the type to like waiting," I said.

Making Eric mad was one thing but making Max mad was probably something on a completely different level. I turned back to the bed where I had left my clothes and grabbed them to get changed. I was about to lift Eric's shirt over my head and get changed when his hand shot out to stop me. Turning back to ask him what he was doing, I was cut off by the sly smirk that had once more returned to Eric's face. He certainly wasn't thinking about anything good.

"Can't go to a meeting with a Dauntless leader without taking a shower first," he said.

I laughed and nodded at him. He was partially right. I probably smelled like liquor and sex. I smiled and turned to head into Eric's bathroom. So maybe I would get that morning romp in. When I saw that Eric wasn't following me I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me. He chuckled under his breath as I shut the door behind him and stripped off the shirt. Eric was disrobing when I stepped into the shower and turned the water on. The heat of the water running over me immediately made my muscles relax.

Part of me was dying to know what it was that Max wanted from me. I couldn't think of a single damn thing that he would actually want to discuss with me. Maybe a possible job for being the top ranked initiate? Maybe talking about joining up on leadership? I wasn't sure. In the back of my mind I had a feeling that I didn't want to know. But I could only avoid Max for so long. The door behind me opened and I moved forward so that Eric could have room.

He didn't speak as he walked into the shower. I merely moved out of the stream so that he would be able to use the shower. He quickly stripped and walked up behind me. He shifted my hair in front of my shoulders so that one of his hands could work their way up my spine and rest on my neck. I sighed and leaned back against his hard chest.

"Damn that feels good," I groaned, dropping my head back.

Eric leaned forward and placed his mouth against the crook of my neck. "Does it?" he asked.

I hummed softly as his mouth slid upwards to the back of my ear. "I wish I didn't have to go to training," I moaned.

He hummed back at me as one hand traveled back over my neck and slid down my spine. It made every muscle in my body and each bone in my spine tense. I could tell that he was laughing at me, judging by the rumbling that was echoing through my body. I rolled my eyes at him. Not that I would ever admit it, but Eric's touch did things to me that I had never felt with anyone else. They were things that I knew no one else would ever make me feel.

"Five weeks and your training is over," he mumbled in my ear.

I sighed under my breath. "It still seems so far away," I muttered.

"Goes fast."

"I hope so."

"Don't you dare think that you're leaving this room once it's over," Eric growled.

I laughed and shook my head at his words. "I don't want to," I said, reaching back and grabbing his forearm.

"Even if I have to tie you down."

"I might like that," I sad teasingly.

It didn't work the way that I wanted it to. Eric growled under his breath and shoved me forward. I grunted as I was trapped between the shower wall and Eric's body. My heart was thundering in my chest. I did feel the slightest bit flattered that Eric wanted to keep me in his apartment once training was over. His hand worked its way to the front of me and slid over my stomach, just barely dipping above where I wanted him most.

"Maybe I'll tattoo my name right here," Eric purred.

The tips of his fingers were dragging over the bottom of my stomach. It made the butterflies start to act up slightly. I laughed once more and shoved back against him. Partly to get him off of me and partly for the comment. He wouldn't dare do that. I hadn't even thought about the bet in a while. But he was right. We still owed each other tattoos.

"If you do that I'm putting my name right here," I told him, reaching back and letting my nails run down his most sensitive spot.

His entire body gave a little jerk. I laughed under my breath and shoved back against him. He grunted as I accidentally hit him a little harder than I'd meant to. In response - feeling a little bad for almost hurting him - I gently ran my nails down his lower stomach. It made all of his muscles tense. I heard his intake of breath and smirked at myself. He wasn't the only one that could do little things like that to the other.

"That's cute Amity. You think that something like that would bother me," he said.

There was a little laugh in his voice. It made the corner of my lips turn upwards. But it also made me roll my eyes slightly. In all honesty I had thought that something like that would bother him. He probably just thought that it was a turn-on. He must have liked having someone that could at least try and control me. So I decided to try with another approach.

"No," I hissed.

He merely laughed, clearly not thinking that I was telling him the truth. "Oh?" he asked.

"I just want to let everyone know who that really belongs to," I mumbled back.

Eric's hands stilled on my body and his grip tightened almost painfully. He clearly hadn't been expecting me to say something like that. I hadn't really been expecting it to come out either. It had more slipped out. But it wasn't a lie. It was the truth. I hated thinking that Sarah had once laid her hands all over him. And probably a million girls before her. I knew that there had at least been a large number. Eric turned me around to him and shoved me back against the wall. His lips hit mine and I sighed deeply.

Groaning into his mouth, I let one leg hang over his hip as he brought me closer to him. Evidently he thought that my momentary possessiveness was hot. It was a trait that we both shared. His lips dropped down to my neck and I gave a few guttural moans as his teeth grazed over my throat. He knew every little button that he could push on me.

"You do that Amity, and I'll be impressed. But just know, you're always going to be mine," Eric growled.

"I might like that," I said teasingly.

The corners of Eric's lips turned upwards as he tightened his grip around my waist and yanked me into him. Our lips met in a harsh kiss and I smiled into it, wrapping my arms up and looping them around his shoulders. We kissed for a long time and I sighed as Eric's hands made their way from my back and hips over my body. My entire body was tingling as his fingers dug into my skin and kept us attached at the hips.

As his hands tightened on me I moaned loudly, hearing it echo off of the walls. Of course it only lasted for so long before Eric broke away from me to wash his hair. At least we still had time. As he walked back under the water I watched him closely, rubbing his soap over my arms. As I looked around I couldn't help but to wonder if I was going to get an apartment like this once I was a member. Or if we would all get apartments. I couldn't imagine that they would keep us in the horrible initiate bunks forever.

"Am I going to get an apartment when training is over?" I asked.

Eric washed out the last bit of shampoo in his hair and turned back to face me. I walked back to the water and closed my eyes as Eric's hands ran over my arms, running the soap off of them. His hands dropped down to my hips but he didn't look at them. He was staring into my eyes and I had to repress a shiver. His eyes were so startling. I had thought that they were cold once upon a time. Now I saw the teasing gleams and happy sparks.

"Yes. Depending on where initiates finish in final rankings, they get their apartment assignments according to it. People that have guard duties, like on the Fence or in Factionless sectors, get the smaller apartments. Leaders get larger ones. Some Dauntless born choose to live with their families for a while. Others choose to move in with friends or significant others," he said.

The stupid part of me wanted to ask if he would ever let me move in with him. But that would have made both of us uncomfortable and I didn't want to push it. Maybe if I didn't want to live alone I would ask Heather if she wanted to get an apartment together. I had a feeling that she would want to move in with Cole. An apartment to myself wouldn't be bad. But I had a feeling that Eric would make an appearance more than once. If I lived that long. I shook my head. I had to stop thinking like that.

"Maybe I'll take this apartment," I teased.

Eric laughed at me. "You can pry it from my cold dead hands," he growled. "You can stay when you want."

That surprised me. Was he offering to let me stay with him. "Really?" I asked.

His hands tightened on my hips again. "As long as you let me do whatever I want," he groaned against my neck.

"Deal. I can't wait to be away from that stupid cot," I muttered.

Eric grinned sideways and kissed me. I sighed into his mouth and tilted my head back so that the water rushed over our heads. His hands were tight on my stomach as he crushed me against him. It hurt a little bit but I didn't want to tell him that. I just wanted him closer. Eric shoved me back into the wall of the shower and I shivered at the sudden intrusion of cold.

"I'm sorry, are you cold?" Eric asked.

His eyes were gleaming with amusement and I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Eric to make me feel like a fool. "Not at all, asshole," I growled.

Without giving him a second to say anything more in retaliation, I shoved him backwards and backed him into the other wall. He laughed softly, obviously surprised by my sudden actions. He watched me with dark eyes as I leaped up into his arms. He laughed and caught me at the last minute, kissing me deeply. His tongue invaded my mouth and I responded, fighting against him for dominance. Not that I would win, but I would always want to try.

Things might have been getting complicated, and this certainly wasn't helping, but as his hand dropped lower on my body I couldn't bring myself to care. All I wanted was to be with him. He tilted my head back a little more as his hands wrapped in my hair and he tugged me towards him. I bit down softly on his lip. That was all that it took as Eric shoved my legs apart.

He placed himself in between my thighs and I smiled softly as his feet slipped against the shower floor. We were probably going to end up dying. Not that either one of us minded. His head moved from my lips to my neck, leaving a bruise in his wake, before landing at the juncture of my neck and shoulder. A sharp shiver shot through my body at the sudden contact and I rubbed myself against him. He knew that I wanted him. And that meant that he was not going to give me what I wanted.

Without giving me a chance to do anything back to him, he backed his hips away from me and I let out a pathetic whine. All I wanted was him, while I could still have him. Eric merely laughed and nipped against the already tender skin. My breathy sigh bounced off of the shower walls. Another shiver shot through me as I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist. He ground his hips down against mine and I let out another soft groan. He knew exactly what to do to me.

Leaning closer towards him I kissed down the leadership tattoos and left a small mark just underneath where his vest would come up to. He let out a dark moan at the feeling and I smirked into his neck. Knowing that I could do anything to him sent a sharp pleasure shoot through me. I gently ran my nails down his back, hearing Eric hiss at the slight pain. His head fell back slightly so that he could let out a little moan.

Eric's hands wound their way over my chest and came down to rest on my thighs, squeezing underneath the skin tightly. It was almost painful. His fingers were tight against me and they were leaving marks, but I couldn't have cared less. We always seemed to be leaving marks on each other. It was nice. I enjoyed being able to mark someone as my own. Although I wished that he would be a little more discrete about where he put his marks on me.

It didn't matter. All I wanted was to feel him against me. Eric's hands tightened against me a little more before one of them ran up my thighs. His finger brushed against my core and I moaned softly. It reverberated off of the glass walls as I shoved my center against his finger. He merely laughed and pulled the finger away. I whined softly and tried to buck up to him once more.

"Eric," I groaned, as he lifted his lips up to meet mine once more.

He merely laughed again. His lips were searing against mine as his tongue forced its way inside of my mouth. As much as I wanted to prove that I was tougher than him, I didn't bother. I allowed myself to melt into him. Our tongues wound together as his finger stroked against me. His finger circled my clit but I was unable to moan through Eric's assault on my mouth. My entire body gave a soft shudder as he gently fingered around my clit.

His hand that wasn't busy playing with me left my thighs and I wrapped myself tightly around him, not planning on ending up on the floor of the shower. His hand grabbed the roots of my hair and he yanked it back. I hissed at the feeling, somewhere between pain and pleasure, as his finger finally dipped inside of me. A flurry of curses escaped my mouth as Eric pushed me up against the wall of the shower roughly. I thrust my hips forward to meet his finger and he laughed against my lips.

"Eager, are we?" Eric asked.

Of course I was, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I let one of my hands slip off of his neck and use to grab his member. Eric groaned and his eyes slipped closed as I squeezed it once. His hand tightened underneath my thigh so painfully that I was sure that he would tear the skin there. But it still felt incredible. As I tightened my grip on Eric's member, he groaned again. My name spilled from his lips as I began to pump slowly up and down his length.

He pulled his finger out of me before plunging another two in with it. A soft gasp escaped my mouth and I groaned as my walls stretched to accommodate him. His fingers curled inside of me as my grip against him tightened slightly. His mouth dipped from my mouth to my breast, catching a nipple in between his teeth. He yanked softly on it and I cried out, bucking my hips roughly against him. He laughed against my breast and I groaned once more. God I wanted him in me.

His back arched slightly as my nails dug into his skin. My grip on him tightened once more as I began to pump up and down his shaft. I heard a few curses from him as well as he began to twist my other nipple in his hands. I was throbbing as his fingers worked inside of me and my head fell into Eric's shoulder at the feeling. I wanted nothing more than for him to thrust himself in me. But he knew that it was what I wanted and he was going to take his time.

His fingers went completely inside of me and I panted as he stopped pumping them and instead curled inside me. Juices were beginning to run down my thighs and mix in with the water. I knew that it wouldn't be long before I came undone. My breathing was getting shallow and my entire body had tensed as spasms were slowly starting to take over my body.

His mouth finally left its assault on my breast as he came back up to kiss me once more. I groaned into his mouth as his fingers left me, trailing up and back around my thighs. His hands grabbed my thighs before shoving them apart so that the side of each of my thigh was pressed against the glass wall of the shower. He pried my hand off of him before coming to stand against me.

We were just a few inches apart from each other. I thought that he would say something, but he didn't. He gave me no chance to prepare for him as he shoved himself in me. Even through his kiss I let out a loud yell at the sudden intrusion. A sharp roll of pain washed over me and I let my head fall back. Eric ignored the slight pain that I was now in. Instead he continued to move against me and, after a few seconds, the pain turned into pleasure. Hips hips were hitting mine painfully as he pumped in and out of me.

My hands wound their way up to tangle in his hair again. He grunted as my nails scratched against his scalp roughly, shoving his hair out of place. His hands were tight on my thighs, keeping them apart as he shoved himself into me. The position that we were in was making him hit all the way against my deepest spot and I moaned loudly, calling out Eric's name a few times. My back was thrust back into the tile wall. It was slightly uncomfortable, but the pleasure that I was feeling overruled it.

Eric growled deep in his throat as he shoved himself into me and leaned forward to give me a quick kiss. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and I moaned as the strokes of his tongue followed his strokes into me. They were quick and hard. I rolled my hips against him and he groaned once more, grabbing my hair and yanking my head back. His teeth scraped over my neck before biting roughly against my clavicle. All that did was make me call his name once more.

To my surprise Eric pulled out of me and dropped me against the floor. I thought that he might rearrange the position that we were in, as I figured that I had been getting too heavy for him, but he merely stared at me. I stood staring at him, wondering what the fuck he had stopped for. The moment that I opened my mouth to ask him, he cut me off.

"Over there. Now," he growled at me, barely able to form words.

Obviously he wanted something that I couldn't understand. I turned back to see that he was motioning to the stoop where someone could sit to shave. I nodded at him and walked on weak legs over to the stoop. My legs were still shaking from our actions. Clearly I wasn't moving fast enough as Eric grabbed me and shoved me against the stoop.

"Bend over," he ordered.

It definitely wasn't something that anyone from Amity would have said. I didn't bother to argue so I did as he said. He once more gave no warning as he shoved into me. One of his hands wrapped around my waist to stroke my clit and the other wrapped itself into the roots of my hair. He pulled me up slightly so that I had nothing to lean against except for his chest.

Pain was rolling through my scalp but it was nothing compared to the pleasure that was rolling through my core. Our back and chest were pressed together as he kept our bodies practically melded together. He was holding my back against my torso as he shoved into me. His thrusts were jolting me forward slightly and I panted loudly as he continued to enter me from behind.

"Eric," I moaned breathlessly. He gave a sharp thrust in response. "Fuck me harder."

My head dropped back onto his shoulder and my hand wound backwards to wrap around the back of Eric's neck. He was looking over my shoulder, spotting my chest bounce up and down. Eric easily took my order to fuck me harder. His thrusts became harder and sharper as he pounded almost painfully into me. My entire core was throbbing as I began to tighten around him. He was the one person that could always do this to me. It didn't take him long to get me to this.

His thrusts were getting harder and more desperate as he grabbed my hips and ordered me to put a leg up. I did so and gasped as he turned me around to face him, half seating me against the stoop. He jammed himself into me and pressed our mouths together. But the kiss was open-mouthed and heated. A sharp wave of pleasure shot through me as I leaned back and yelled out for him one last time. Pleasure began to roll through my body as my head hung back and I let out a stream of profanities.

It wasn't long after that that Eric followed. He pumped himself into me a few more times before I could feel him release himself inside of me. I moaned against him as my body let off a few last spasms. He fell against me, his head falling into my chest. I groaned softly against him as he kissed against my chest once. He lifted his head up to kiss me on the lips before grabbing me and standing. I wrapped my legs back around him as he shut off the water and walked us out of the shower.

It always did astound me just how strong he was. I laughed against his lips as he walked us back to the bed and dropped me underneath him. Our lips moved together and tongues twined with each other's as we ground against each other. He hadn't pulled out of me yet and I let out a moan from the sensitive skin rubbing against me as he did. I laid on the bed, trying to catch my breath as Eric walked back into the bathroom and grabbed two towels. He tossed one to me and kept the other to himself.

Not long afterwards I found myself out in the living room of Eric's apartment, combing out the knots in my damp hair. I had one of his towels wrapped around my chest as he had one wrapped around his waist. He was in the kitchen, making himself some disgusting looking smoothie. It was green and reminded me far too much of something that I would have seen in Amity.

"What is that?" I asked.

"Try it and find out."

"No, thanks. I'd like to live."

"Big baby."

Laughing softly, I nodded. I didn't have time to hang around. I needed to get changed and find Max. Eric and I had taken a little longer than I had thought to actually make our way out of the shower. I grabbed my tight black pants and shimmied into them. It seemed that my underwear had moved again as I couldn't find them. I'd find them later. Instead I grabbed my bra and shirt, tossing them both over my head. The shirt was a little stretched out but I didn't bother with it. I didn't have any time to change.

As I straightened myself out and took a drink from the water glass sitting on Eric's counter, he turned back to me. "I'll let Four know that you're in a meeting and won't be there until later," he said.

"Thanks," I said, giving a quick glance up to the clock.

It was already approaching nine thirty. I probably wouldn't be able to make it to the fear sim room until ten. And that would be at the earliest. I walked over to Eric and gave him a soft smile. He was staring at me sideways as I walked in between his legs. He was grinning, watching as I let my hands linger near the edge of his white towel and gave it a tug. As much as I really wanted to have another go, I knew that it was time for me to leave. But I wanted to mess around with him for a bit.

"Don't tease me like that Amity, I'll make you even later than you already are," Eric warned.

I smiled and nodded at him. "That so?" I asked.

No part of me doubted that he wasn't about ready to drag me back to the bed and make me another half an hour later. "Tug at it again and find out," he said.

"I don't think I'd mind that too much," I teased.

Eric smirked before tugging on my hair and giving me another kiss. I'd noticed that he never gave me little pecks or anything soft. They were always crushing and searing. Not that I minded. I wrapped my arms around his neck and dragged him closer to the edge of his seat. I pulled away from him after a moment and felt the growl from deep in his throat.

"Don't think that you're getting out of this. I want round two later," I said as I headed to the door.

There was a grumbling of his laughter behind me. It made me smile down at the ground. I turned quickly to flash a wink back at him and Eric laughed again. Had he been a little closer to me I knew that he would have done something. But I was already at the door so Eric just gave me a little smirk back.

"I look forward to it. _Initiate_ ," Eric added with a little snarl.

I smiled once more and turned away from him. Tonight was a training night with Four so I knew that I wouldn't be back until later tonight. Potentially nearing one in the morning. But I knew that he would still be awake. Eric wasn't one for turning in early. And we were never ones for telling each other what time to come by. It was just whenever one of us was free. Even if he was asleep I would be sure to wake him up.

Heading down the halls I began to hum a sweet tune under my breath. It was something that had never died from my time in Amity. I still liked to sing. I didn't do it around Eric though. He would never let me hear the end of it. A part of me did wonder if he might actually like my singing. I liked to think that I had a nice voice.

As I walked down the halls I thought about the new fear sim. I was sure that it was going to change today but I wasn't sure what it was going to be. Hopefully something that didn't involve Eric or Jeanine. Right now I didn't want to have to worry about them and what was going to come. Eric and I were doing well right now. I wasn't really sure what we were and I couldn't go out in public with him, but our relationship was good. But I wasn't foolish. I knew that it wouldn't be long before it came crashing down.

As I walked down the hallway I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. This was not the way that I had intended for my initiation into Dauntless to go. But no matter how fucked up it got at times, I knew that I wouldn't trade it for the world. I had made some of the best friends of my life, I was truly happy, and I was stronger than I ever had been. And there was Eric. Stupid, annoying, pompous, Eric. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

"Alex?" a man called.

I turned back to see Four and I smiled at him. "Hey, Four," I chirped.

"What are you doing out here? I was wondering where you were," Four said.

I stopped walking so that Four could catch up to me. Evidently no one had told Four that Max wanted to have a meeting with me. "Sorry, I was on my way to a meeting with Max," I said.

Four nodded at me with narrowed eyes. "Why does Max want to talk to you?" Four asked sharply.

"Uh - Cameron came and told me that he wanted to see me. Something about my new ranking. Number one, huh?" I asked Four.

"Yes, you are," Four said with a smile.

"That's pretty impressive. For a Softie, "I teased, using the same name that he had called me when he had first pulled me from the net all those months ago.

Four merely rolled his eyes at me. "I'm proud of you, Alex. I really am," he said.

I smiled at Four softly. As much of a hard ass as he was, Four really was a sweet guy. I just wished that someday he would get himself a girl. A good girl. He deserved one. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Just be careful, alright?"

"Of course."

"There's a lot of people here today. Jeanine Matthews, Jack Kang, even Johanna was here for a while earlier," Four said.

I perked up slightly. "Johanna's here?" I asked.

"She's gone already. Sorry," Four said.

I shrugged as we walked. It made no matter. The only thing that I would have wanted was for her to tell my parents that I missed and loved them. "That's okay," I muttered.

"Just... Don't say anything too stupid," Four ordered.

"I'm not that stupid!"

"I know. But these people are dangerous. And even though he doesn't always seem that way, so is Max," Four warned.

We walked up the stairs that took us up to the higher-up Dauntless member offices. "Thanks, Four. But I can handle myself. I'll let you know if anything off happens, alright," I promised.

As expected Four didn't agree right away. He merely scrutinized me for a moment before saying, "I'll hold you to that."

I went to head upstairs before stopping short. "Four? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be helping the other initiates?" I asked.

He motioned for me to head up the stairs, which I did. "Ran out of the serum. They're waiting in the sim room while I go to get more," he said.

"Oh," I said dumbly, unsure of what else to say.

"Come on, I gotta head towards Max's office anyways. I'll walk you over there," Four said.

"Thanks."

As much as I would have loved to turn and run for my life far away from Max, I knew that I had to go to his office and see what he wanted. So I nodded, walking with him. He looked down at my shirt and a flush of color rose to my face. I was surprised that Four was an ex-Abnegation not an ex-Candor. He could always see right through me. So I glanced down at my shirt instead and cleared my throat.

"That shirt might be getting a little big for you," he said.

Even though he was scowling at me I could see the slight hint of amusement in his eyes. Damn Eric for stretching out my shirt. "Yeah? Well those pants are still hideous," I told him.

A bright smile rose to my face as the smirk faded from Four's. He stared at me with a scowl but I knew that I amused him. He was just broody. We would have to work on that one day. There were times that even Eric had a better sense of humor than him. And that was saying something.

"You're an ass," Four snapped.

"I'll tell you what. When you go and get different pants I'll go get a new shirt," I said with a little smile.

"I'll make that deal with you," Four said.

We both smiled at each other. We walked in silence for a few moments as we headed through the halls. I had only been here twice before and I didn't like either of those times. These places seemed so dark and lifeless. It was so much different than the rest of Dauntless. We passed Four's and Eric's office as we headed back to Max's. It was the only office to have an oak door rather than a metal one. A bundle of knots formed in my stomach as we stopped at the door.

"Alright, this is it. Head back to the sim room when you're done," Four ordered.

I nodded as I turned back to the door. "Alright," I said.

My hand hesitated on the door and Four took it upon himself to knock. I noticed that he still hadn't left my side. I knew that he didn't trust Max either, but maybe it went deeper than I thought that it did. If nothing else I felt a little stronger having Four at my side. Although I wasn't sure how long he would be allowed to stay for.

The door swung open and both Four and I grinned at Max. He was a reasonably friendly man but he still set my nerves on edge. Maybe it was because of the conversation that I had overheard. "Good morning, Alex. Good to see you," Max greeted.

Max had more tattoos than I had initially thought. It looked like his leadership tattoos went all the way down his neck and arms. And he was taller than I thought. Although Eric and Four still dwarfed him. But being not very tall myself, it was very easy for people to tower over me.

"Good morning, Max," I greeted awkwardly.

"I'm glad that Four was able to find you. Thank you Four, I can handle her from here," Max said.

Four nodded as Max stepped to the side. He looked like he was about to leave, but suddenly he stiffened. I turned to ask Four if he was alright but the words died in my throat. In the background of the room, standing right behind Max's desk, was Jeanine Matthews. What the hell was she doing here?

Jeanine's presence in the room had sent Four into protector mode. "I don't mind staying and waiting for her. If she needs someone to be able to vouch for her and how well she's been doing," Four said with a tight-lipped smile.

It was just an excuse for Four to be able to stay with me and I really appreciated it. Jeanine was still sitting on the windowsill behind the desk, smiling, probably knowing damn well that her being here made me uncomfortable. Max smiled at the two of us and I felt some bile rise in my throat. The last thing that I wanted was to be stuck in a room with Max and Four, but I also didn't want to make things any worse for him.

"Very sweet of you, Four. But I wouldn't be too concerned with Alex. We'll be sure to escort her out later. And this meeting may take some time," Max said, making me gulp.

"Waiting really wouldn't be that hard on me," Four said.

"You have the other initiates to attend to. Not to worry, she'll be down later," Max promised, giving me a small smile.

Four was not that easily deterred. "I can have Eric take over for the day," he insisted.

That might be worse for them. It would certainly be worse. I might manage to enjoy myself more than them. I would hate for them to have to go through a fear with Eric. I could only imagine how much they would hate that. Hell, I wouldn't want Eric looking at my fears. So I decided to take it upon myself. Max and Jeanine wouldn't kill me here. Not when Four, Cameron, Eric, Jack Kang, and the other Dauntless leaders knew that I was here. It would be dangerous for them to make a move right now.

"Four, it's alright. I think I'll be able to find my way back afterwards. I can have Max call you back if I get a little lost," I said.

"You sure?" Four asked, looking unconvinced.

"Yeah. Thanks though," I said, trying to plead him to leave with my eyes.

Four finally nodded and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Okay. I'll see you after," he said.

I really did want him to be able to stay but I knew that Max would not stand for it. "See you later," I said softly.

Max allowed Four to walk out the door before closing it softly behind him. If I hadn't been nervous before I sure as hell was now that Four was no longer with me. I felt like I was in a shark tank. They were two of the most powerful people in Chicago. They were not two people to have on your bad side. And I was sure that I was already on both of theirs. I shifted awkwardly in the doorway as I waited for Max to speak.

"Please, take a seat. This might take a while," Max said.

"Okay."

On shaky knees I walked over to a chair directly in front of Max and took a seat. The room felt much tenser without Four here. Max looked somewhere in between happy and somber. Just like always. Jeanine leaned on the window with a smile. I tried to look only at Max. Jeanine made me even more nervous.

"Tell us, Alex, how has training been for you?" Max asked.

Maybe this was a standard thing. But Four and Eric had seemed a bit concerned about this meeting. "Is everyone coming to speak with you about their training?" I suddenly blurted out.

I couldn't help it. I had the old habit of babbling when I got nervous. It would have been alright if it were just Max in here but Jeanine unhinged my nerves. Max merely smiled at me. It didn't seem quite friendly. More like he was amused. Almost glad that I was nervous.

"No. No one else," Max admitted.

"Oh."

"Honestly I wouldn't have even called you in but there's just something so curious about you," he continued.

I sucked in a breath. "Is that so?" I asked.

Was that why Jeanine Matthews was here? Were they here to rat me out about my Divergence? "An Amity member has never been in Dauntless before," he continued.

I let out a breath. They were here to talk about me becoming a Dauntless member. "So I've heard," I said.

"The closest one was removed after Stage Three. They didn't finish their Fear Landscape. Not to worry, I'm sure that you will," he said.

Maybe he was trying to be friendly but it set me off. "Thank you," I said.

"I'd just like to hear it from you. Very impressive, your story. Tell me about your training," Max said.

I pushed my shaking arms against my thighs, hoping to steady myself. "There really isn't much to tell. It's just like everyone else. I came in here and worked as hard as I could to ensure that I would get a good spot in Dauntless. I knew that I would have to work harder because I was an Amity. So I did. And it paid off," I said, praying that he would let me leave.

"Please, Alex. You're so modest," Jeanine said. I nodded, fighting to not narrow my eyes at her. "I've unfortunately only had the pleasure of speaking with you a few times, and each time we've had to watch what we say around each other. That's not the case here. Not today." The way she was looking at me sent shivers down my spine. "So tell me, what exactly have you thought about Dauntless training?"

"It's interesting," I answered awkwardly.

Both Jeanine and Max motioned for me to continue talking. "Explain," Jeanine prompted.

Now I really wanted Four here. "It's a little different than I thought that it would be. I mean you certainly start the initiates off right away. Climbing the side of the train station, jumping onto the moving train, and then jumping to the Dauntless roof. Not to mention the fall to the net," I said.

The start of training was one of the most intense things that I had ever experienced. Max was chuckling under his breath and I looked over at him. No doubt was he remembering his own initiation. I couldn't even imagine someone like Max jumping off of the roof or onto a train. Of course I knew that he was able to do both. He wasn't a leader for nothing.

"You couldn't have been that nervous. After all, you were the first jumper. That's quite the feat in Dauntless. Not even Four was the first jumper," Max said. I knew why Four hadn't jumped first. He was afraid of heights. "I believe that it was Eric during his initiation year."

That wasn't a shock. "Of course I was nervous," I told Max, a little harsher than I had meant to. "We were being told to jump off of the roof of a building without being able to see what was at the bottom. It could have been a test of blind faith. A lesson. The first person could have jumped to their death and Eric could have turned around and told the rest of the initiates about trusting people blindly."

It was true. When I had been up on the roof I had been wondering whether or not it was a test of blind faith. More than once I had wondered if the jump would kill me before I'd actually jumped off. I supposed that I was just lucky that it wasn't. Instead of getting upset with my slightly snarky attitude Max just smiled at me. It was that smile that set me off.

"Fair point. But that's what makes you different from the others," Max said, making me cock my head at him.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"They would have just jumped because they wanted to look brave. You jumped after long and careful deliberation. It's not an Amity trait though, is it?" Max continued.

Once more I cocked my head to the side. "I'm still not sure I understand," I said.

"I'd always heard that Amity were instinctual people. It seems to me like that's more of an Erudite trait."

Every inch of my body tensed as I stared sidelong at Max, doing everything in my power to avoid looking back at Jeanine. For the life of me I couldn't tell if Max was trying to hint at something or not. If Jeanine was here I was sure that he was hinting at something. I shifted awkwardly in my chair once more but managed to keep an even look on my face.

"I'm sorry Max, I'm not entirely sure that I understand what you're getting at," I said politely, hoping that Max would reassure me that we were not talking about what I was trying so desperately to hide.

Max merely smiled and waved me off. "Nothing dear. Just an old man's ranting," he told me with a little laugh. His smile was bright and I forced one on my face as well. Maybe he really didn't mean to say it. Although he wasn't a senile old man. Max wasn't even old. He seemed to be around forty to me. At the absolute oldest. "Tell me, how else have you fared in the initiation process?"

"I'm still here, so I think I've done alright for myself," I said.

"You've been quite something to watch. You've gone from twenty-first to number one in a matter of a few short months," Max said.

His words made me smile. I had made a staggering amount of progress in the last six and a half months. "It's been a tough road but not one that I would ever want to redo. I've had so much fun here in Dauntless. I know that this is where I truly belong. Initiation is hard but I know why you have us work like this. We need to be ready for absolutely anything. And I am," I said.

Even though I was looking at Max the last comment was directed at Jeanine. "We need that in Dauntless," Max said.

"Physical training hurt and sometimes it was hard to get out of bed but I always knew that I had to keep working. Mental and emotional training is even worse. But I know that it will all be worth it in a few weeks," I continued.

This time both Jeanine and Max smiled. "Spoken like a true Dauntless," Max said.

"Thank you."

"I must say it's rare to see someone improve like you have. You were only below the red line for a few days but still. To go from one of the worst to the best. Beating out even the best of the Dauntless born. It's something alright. You must have had some help. Friends are always good. So are the trainers. Even the leaders," Max said.

Once more I knew that Max was trying to hint at something. It was all from the way that he had said leaders. I was sure that some people were already suspicious of Eric and me, but there was no way that Max could know. He was the one person that I was sure would kick me out of Dauntless if he found out the truth.

"Of course. We all have support systems. My friends have been wonderful since I've been here. They are all going through the same things that I am at the same time. It's been good to have them around me. And even though I rarely see them I know that my family is supporting me too. The trainers have been wonderful. Four has worked wonders with all of the initiates," I told Max.

He nodded at me, leaning back in his chair and crossing his hands over his stomach. "There is a reason that Four is the trainer that works with the transfers," he said.

"I figured that there was a reason," I muttered.

"I could keep him in surveillance all year round but I feel that he's better used in training. What about the leaders?" Max asked.

I knew that he was trying to steer the conversation in that direction but I refused to make it easy. "You mean yourself?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I'm not sure, Max. I have no doubt that you're a good man and you care for Dauntless. But I just don't know you that well. Not that I blame you. I know you have better things to be doing," I said, giving a quick glance at Jeanine. "I don't know the other leaders that well. Other than Eric. His training methods are a little... harsh. But they work well enough. They helped me."

This time the smile on Max's face grew as I shifted slightly. "Yes. I've noticed that Eric seems a little fond of you," Max said.

The color drained from my face as I nodded numbly. "I suppose," I mumbled.

Suddenly I found myself not liking where the conversation was headed. "Not to worry. We all have our favorite initiates. The ones that we root for to do the best. In fact, it isn't just Eric that is rooting for you. We all are," Max said.

Alright so maybe Max wasn't thinking that it was an emotional attachment. Maybe he was just thinking that Eric liked me as an initiate. A potentially strong addition to Dauntless. I nodded, grateful that it didn't seem that Max knew what was going on between us. Or if he did maybe he was just ignoring it. Just the way that Four, Cameron, and Heather were doing.

"That's a nice jacket, Alex," Jeanine said.

My face heated up as I stared at the blonde-haired woman, who was giving me a sly smile. I knew that Jeanine had seen the jacket on Eric's floor this morning. It made my stomach churn nervously. I knew that I should have grabbed the rest of my clothes before ducking under the bed.

"Thank you," I told her through gritted teeth.

She continued giving me her tight-lipped smile. Sensing the rising tension in the room, Max decided to step in. "We've brought you here for more than just your opinions on Dauntless training," Max said.

"Okay," I said, waiting for him to continue.

"I happened to be going through your file yesterday. I noticed something a little strange. You scored Amity on your Aptitude Test," Max said.

"Yes," I said, bile rising in my throat. I should have told Tori to put Dauntless on my Aptitude Test results.

I hated that Jeanine was here to hear this. At least Eric wasn't here. "What makes someone that scores Amity on their test come to Dauntless?" Max asked, seemingly genuinely curious.

It wasn't that I was the only person that hadn't scored Dauntless. Heather had gotten Candor. But she wasn't Divergent. She wasn't in the number one spot. She wasn't from Amity. I was different. That didn't change the fact that my heart was now thumping in my chest anxiously.

"I just knew that it didn't matter what the test said. I'm not Amity. And I think that I've proven that. I'm number one in the rankings. Maybe the test thought that I was Amity but I disagree. It's like you said, Ms. Matthews," I said, finally looking back over to where Jeanine was seated. "We are free to go wherever we feel, despite what the test tells us."

Instead of looking angry, Jeanine stood and smiled at me. "You're right, Alex," she said softly.

A chill shot down my spine as I watched her walk over to where Max's chair was. Whatever we had been speaking about was over. The air in the room had shifted drastically. "Thank you," I muttered.

"But you still picked where the test told you to go, didn't you?" Jeanine asked.

I nearly fell out of the leather chair at her words. "Excuse me?" I asked dumbly.

"Do you remember the trip to Amity you made?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Good. I do too. The Factionless were making a move. We now know what the move was. They were looking for people called Divergent's," Jeanine purred.

Had anything been in my stomach I would have tossed it up and onto the floor. Now I knew where this conversation was going. She really had been trying to bait me into saying something about what I was. The friendly smile had fallen off of Max's face and he was now staring at me through narrowed eyes.

"I don't know what that is," I muttered.

"They were looking for Aptitude Test results. Inconclusive. The Factionless gave up names. House numbers more than that. Yours was one of them. Not your mother. Not your father. Your room. They knew you down to the room," Jeanine said.

Her gaze narrowed at me. I knew that it wouldn't matter what I said about anything. She knew what I was. There was no point in me hiding it. My eyes narrowed as I waited for her to continue but she never did. The ball was in my court now. I had already known that Jeanine knew who I was and now it was obvious that she had already told Max who I was as well.

"Get on with it. Enough of this back and forth," I sneered. The smile on Max and Jeanine's faces only brightened at my words. "What do you want?"

Jeanine laughed softly and I found that it rocked me to my core. "You never do disappoint me. Amity. Erudite. Abnegation. Dauntless. All of them. All but one. I now see why you didn't score Candor as well," Jeanine told me with a smile that Max echoed. "It's impressive. I've never seen someone like you. I want you to listen to me. I want you to do as I say. After the final testing, your Fear Landscape, in five weeks you are to come to Erudite. You'll be a full member. No need for someone to escort you. Which they will not. You'll come alone. You need to be there at eight. They'll know where to send you. I have something that I need to show you."

Did that mean that she didn't want to kill me? It didn't matter. She wanted something from me and she was not going to get it. Not while I had something to do about it. "And what if I say no?" I asked.

Clearly that was the answer that she'd been banking on. "I'd suggest that you don't. Candor. I believe you have two friends there right now. Iris Gelsey and Florian Rose," she said with a little lilt in her voice.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. How did she knew about them? "Leave them out of it," I snarled.

"Your friends here in Dauntless. Heather, Buck, Dante, Draven, Jax, Jet, and Cole. And the Dauntless born. Aaron, Jackson, Michael, Greg, Lisa, Darren, and Serena. Others too. Your mother and father. An unborn sister," she continued.

"You wouldn't dare," I hissed, believing that she wouldn't kill an unborn child.

"Four, Zeke, Uriah, Cameron, and Tori. So many more. All of them at risk. Would you place their lives after your own?" she asked.

No. There was no way that I would let any of them die because I was afraid of going toe-to-toe with Jeanine. There was no way that I was going to let her kill my friends or my family. If she wanted a fight she was going to get one. But that didn't mean that I wasn't going to try and find a civil way out of this.

"You're going to kill innocent civilians just because I don't come to you?" I asked.

She had me right where she wanted me. She knew my weak spots and I knew none of hers. "Not all innocent. Not your sweetheart. Eric," Jeanine teased. So they did know about Eric and I. But we weren't each other's sweethearts. She was only doing that to tease me. Max even gave a little smirk at her words. "It's sweet. Honestly. I never saw Eric care about anyone. I never thought that he was even capable of it."

"Then you obviously don't know him," I hissed.

"But I do. Even more than you do. But I was wrong. Now I see that he is. And how curious it is that the girl he would find himself tangled with is one of the people that he's hunting. It's poetic, really," she said, laughing happily.

Jeanine had finally confirmed that he was working with her. There had to be a way to get him out of it. "Leave him out of it," I snarled.

Eric was better than her. I knew that he was. She shook her head at me and took a few steps so that she stood to the side of Max's desk. I could kill her. I knew that I could. But Max would beat me to it. He might have been older but he was still a better fighter than me. I had no doubt in my mind about that.

"You think that he'll be left out of it? He's already in this. Too deep. Far too deep to get out. You honestly think that Eric won't figure out what you are? Or even better, he'll figure out what you are and still care for you?" she asked. I couldn't deny that her words sent a little pang of hurt through my chest. "He's my soldier. And a loyal one at that. You? You're nothing. Not to him." It only drove the knife in further. "To me. You could be my prize. I believe you're the one that I need. Which, mark my words, is the only reason that you're still alive. It's the only way that you're walking away from this meeting."

So there was a reason that I wasn't dead. She wanted me for something. "You honestly think that you could tell me all of this and I'll just lay back and watch? As you start a war on Abnegation? On the Divergent? Kill off the Factionless? Attack Candor for a serum? Track down the rest of the Divergent's?" I asked.

Her eyes widened and I smirked at her. So there was at least one place in this argument that I had the upper hand in. "You saw it," she growled lowly in her throat.

"Yeah, I saw your file in Erudite and I read it too," I sneered at her.

Max stepped forward, out of his chair, and he came to stand next to her. Both looked like they had won the lottery. "Very well done, Alex. But it's too late," Max told me and I raised my eyebrows.

"Excuse me?" I asked sharply.

"There are already entire Factions on our side. All of Dauntless. They'll be behind this," Max told me.

My jaw almost dropped, but I forced myself to remain calm. "You're lying. There's no way that you have all of Dauntless standing behind you," I growled.

"You're only one girl. A little Amity. What can you do against the entire Faction system? You have no one in your corner," he said. _Wrong. I have Four._ He was my ally in this. "You make one wrong move. Your friends, family. Everyone you love. Gone. There is nothing that you can do other than follow orders and be at Erudite at eight o'clock the night of your final test."

He was right. There was no way out of this. Not without shedding someone else's blood. My teeth grit tightly together. For a moment I thought that they were going to shatter from how tightly they were pressed together. There was nothing else that I could use against them. No one on my side that I could risk. Eric was already with Jeanine. No one at Amity could fight. Dauntless was behind Max's cause. They were right. Four was my last hope. They would know if I tried anything. I just needed to keep Eric in the dark for as long as possible.

"Anything else?" I asked them.

The smiles had come back to their faces. They were happy that they were winning. "Speak of this to no one," Max ordered.

"Okay," I said weakly.

"Enjoy the rest of initiation, Alex. Spend time with your friends and appreciate that number one spot. It will put you in a good position to be a leader here," he said.

I cocked my eyebrows at him. "Really? You still want me in position to be a leader?" I asked.

"You might be different but that doesn't mean that we don't want you on our side. Enjoy the last few weeks that you have with Eric. After all, the moment he realizes what you are... he might get to you before we can," Max said, laughing.

Jeanine joined in as I stood from the chair and turned to leave. I didn't need to hear that. As I turned and placed my hand on the wooden doorknob I was stopped by Jeanine's voice. "Have a nice day, Alex. Be sure to keep that ranking up there. We only want the best for our own," she said.

Furious with everything that they had been saying to me, I tried to force myself to leave. But I couldn't with the sound of their laughter. So I briefly turned back to see her smile at me. Shuddering slightly, I turned back and pulled the door open. As I walked out of the room and shut the door once more, I heard the two of them go back to chatting with each other. I knew that I should have stayed, but I didn't stay to hear what they were saying. All I wanted to do was get as far away from Max and Jeanine as possible.

So I turned on my heel and broke into a dead sprint. I dashed through the corridors as fast as possible - very nearly knocking down a few people that were in my way - before dropping against a wall near the hallway for the fear sim room. I would have to be in the fear sim room, but I couldn't go in yet. Not when I was feeling the way that I was. So I stopped in the hallway and breathed out weakly. It was one that I knew people barely walked through. I just wanted to be alone right now.

What the hell could Jeanine want from me? What did she want me to do? I didn't understand. The only thing that Four and Tori had told me was that they wanted me to know that being Divergent wasn't good. But I knew that much. They had told me that Jeanine thought that they were dangerous. Even the file in Erudite was saying that she wanted to eradicate people like me. Was there something that I didn't understand?

The whole thing made no sense to me. I had no idea what she could possibly want. She had said that there was something that she wanted to show me. Could it be a weapon that she was planning to use to kill me? I didn't think so. She had seemed like there was something that she genuinely wanted me to see. The question was, what did she want me to see?

And was there a chance that it was going to be the last thing that I saw? They had made it obvious enough that if I wasn't going to be helpful to them I was going to die. So that meant that I had better damn well be helpful. It wasn't that I was afraid to die. I wasn't. I was afraid of what would happen to the people that I loved if I didn't. She didn't even just know about my family or friends here in Dauntless. She knew about Iris and Florian.

Unfortunately she had far too many things to hang over my head. The people in my life were completely innocent. They hadn't done anything. They were trying to enjoy their lives together in Candor. I wasn't going to rob them of that. But I couldn't just do whatever it was that Jeanine wanted. I couldn't aid her in her quest to destroy Divergent's. I would not destroy my own people.

Something had to give though. I could fight against Jeanine as hard as possible and stall her for as long as I could but I knew that there was no way that I could make a real plan. Not without knowing what it was that she wanted me to look at. She had me curious. But that didn't mean that for one second her mystery object was more important to me than my own friends and family were. There had to be some way to save them all.

I knew what I could do to save them all. Just do what she said. But I couldn't. I would not give Jeanine and Max what they wanted. But I had to keep them safe. I would do anything. But I was also afraid of what might happen if the people that I cared about found out what I was. Would they all care about what I was? Would they think that I was dangerous? Or would they still think that I was the person that they had grown up with and the person that they had come to love? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure that I wanted to know the answer.

The one person that I knew I didn't want to answer that question was Eric. People had made it clear enough that if Eric ever found out what I was he would give me up. Or maybe kill me himself. I wasn't sure whether or not I believed them. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. I knew that he would certainly be thrown for a loop.

I was absolutely positive that he was going to find out. There was no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't. There was the tiniest chance in the back of my mind that maybe I would tell him. Maybe it would be better coming from me. But I just couldn't think about how to go about telling him. And maybe it would end up being a terrible decision. What would happen if he decided to kill me? I could only pray that he wouldn't. I wanted him to understand that I hadn't asked for this.

I wasn't sure how long it was that I had been sitting out here with my head in my lap but I knew that it must have been hours. No one had walked through the hall yet and I wondered if someone ever would. I wasn't sure that I had the motivation to get the hell off of my ass and get to my fear sim. I heard footsteps finally come through the hall and I glanced up to see Heather turning the corner. She seemed to be in the middle of an internal battle with herself.

"Oh my God," Heather said, her eyes widening when she spotted me slumped against the wall. "Alex."

"Hey," I mumbled.

"What are you doing out here? Where have you been all morning? I thought that you and Eric might have forgot about getting out of bed this morning," Heather teased.

I smiled softly at her and held my hand out. Heather took it and helped lift me to my feet. "Very funny, Heather," I said.

Although that had been very close to the case this morning. "Am I right?" she asked.

"I was with him this morning but Max wanted to have a meeting with me. Just about my path after initiation. He thought that since I was the number one ranked initiate now I should be thinking about going down the leadership path," I lied to her.

Thankfully I could lie so well that it slipped past even an ex-Candor. Heather smiled brightly at me. "Wow," she whispered.

"Pretty cool, right?" I asked, trying to keep any hint of hesitation and nervousness off of my face.

Heather laughed and wrapped me in a hug. "Girl that's awesome!" she yelled.

"Thanks, Heather," I said softly.

My face was pushed away from her and I was glad. I didn't want her to see the frown that was marring my face. She was jumping around and I smiled into her shoulder. I wished that I could tell her. But I needed her to be safe. And that meant keeping her in the dark. Maybe one day she would know. I just hoped that day would not be my funeral.

"I'd love to stay and chat with you for a while but you should probably get back to the sim room. I don't know what you were doing out here," she said.

I laughed softly. "I was just lost in thought," I said. She didn't need to know. But my laughter abruptly stopped and I looked around the hall for a clock. "What time was it?"

"Alex, it's almost six. Aaron was the only other person to have to go last time I checked," she said.

How the hell was it six already? Four was going to kill me if I missed out on training. "Oh shit! It's later than I thought that it was! Gotta run. See you at dinner!" I yelled.

Without giving her a chance to say anything back, I turned and sprinted from the hallway. Heather laughed and yelled back a goodbye as I darted through the halls to get back to the sim room. As I turned the corner I saw Four locking up the door. He looked somewhere in between shocked and irritated when he saw me.

"Hey," I panted, leaning my arms against my thighs as I fought to get my breath back.

"Alex," Four greeted irritably.

"Perfect timing, right?" I asked with a smile.

Four shook his head and glared at me as he pushed us back into the sim room. "Come on," he ordered.

He must have thought that he'd get out of doing my fear sim today. It was obvious that Four wanted to know what had happened. He led me over to the chair in the center on the room and I took my seat as Four walked back over to the computer. He was only there for a moment before he came back to stand next to me.

"What happened?" Four asked, a stern glare on his face.

A few deep breaths escaped my lips as I thought back to what Jeanine and Max had told me. I wanted to tell Four but I didn't have time right now. And I knew that my time was coming to a close with Eric. I wanted to be with him. Just for tonight, I needed to enjoy his company. Before it was ripped away from me.

"A lot. Four, I need to skip tonight," I said.

As expected, a glare crossed his face. "What?" he asked sharply.

"There's something that I need to take care of. I just... it's stupid really," I trailed off when I realized how childish it sounded that I wanted to spend the night with Eric. "But I feel like I need to enjoy the last few weeks that I have before things change and..."

I wasn't very sure how I should have spit it out. Thankfully Four saved me from the awful explanation that I was trying to get out. "Alex I get it," Four said.

His features had softened slightly. I knew that he felt for me. He didn't want to like Eric but he wanted me to be happy. "Really?" I asked dumbly.

"You don't have to tell me about it right now. Enjoy the night. Spend it with your friends. Or Eric. Whoever. Enjoy the last normal day you might have for a long time," he said.

He was right. Things were changing and five weeks could go by quickly. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Just know that we talk about this tomorrow. You tell me everything. Everything that you've been hiding from me. Got it?"

It was not a question. I knew that the way that he was saying it was a demand. "Tomorrow. I got it," I said.

And I meant it honestly. Four needed to hear everything. If I wanted him in my corner it meant that he had to know everything. And I needed all of the help that I could get. Even if that help only came from one person. I just needed to make sure that I could get as much help as possible, and Four was always a big help.

"I might need all of tomorrow just so that I can explain what happened," I said.

Four's eyes narrowed as he nodded. "That much?" he asked.

I couldn't help but to wonder if he was actually going to be getting any sleep tonight or if he would be up all night thinking about everything. "All of it. It's a long damned story," I explained.

Four nodded at me as he walked back to the computer and powered it up. It had been lucky that I had caught Four before he had left. "I'm holding you to that. You were gone all day, Alex. You missed lunch and no one saw you for breakfast," he said.

I had meant to miss breakfast but lunch had been a mistake. I didn't think that I had been sitting against that wall for that long. "Sorry about that. I had a lot to think about," I muttered.

"People were starting to get worried about you," Four told me softly.

Smiling at him, I shook my head and leaned back into the chair. "I'm honored, Four. You care so much about me," I teased.

As serious as I knew that this conversation was I needed to do something to make it lighter. I had still spent sixteen years in Amity. We didn't like to take things too seriously. Four rolled his eyes and I watched as he turned to grab the serum. I stared up at the ceiling and watched as he flicked the tip of the needle and placed it against my neck. I was about to thank Four but he pushed the needle into the vein without warning.

"Ow, damn it. You enjoy that way too much," I muttered.

Four smirked. "That I do," he said. I rolled my eyes. He was such a jerk sometimes. Of course I usually had it coming. "You still owe me an explanation about the meeting after the sim."

"I know, I know," I said.

Before either one of us got the chance to say anything more, he pushed the plunger on the syringe down and the icy liquid ran through my veins. I cringed at the awful feeling, waiting to slip into the darkness. Four was smiling at me and I gave him a small smile back as the world became heavy and I fell back.

My head cleared slightly and I shook my hair out of my face, looking around where I was. It was nowhere that I recognized. It didn't even look like anywhere in Chicago. It was nothing that I'd ever even figured would be around Chicago. I was standing in a small pit with sand all around me. There was no stone or paved walkways.

My heart started to pound in my chest as I frantically looked for something that I recognized. Nothing seemed to be out of place and the world was silent. It was almost too perfect. The problem was that I was standing in this sunken pit with seemingly no way out. Nothing was wrong yet but I knew that it was about to change. My eyes were flitting back and forth through the pit before I saw it. Way back in the corner of the pit something was moving. A shadow was climbing across the back of the wall.

Checking all over my body I searched for something that I could fight with. I wasn't sure what was back there but I was absolutely positive that I did not want to find out. And I didn't want to be unarmed when I figured out what it was. But as I patted over myself I realized that I had nothing that I could use as a weapon. Damn it. I was fucked if this thing was dangerous.

There wasn't even a knife or anything of the sorts. Another shadow moved over the back of the pit and I jumped again. I wasn't sure what these things were and I didn't want to find out. I had always had pretty terrible luck with these fear sims. So I dug my heels into the sand and turned to run.

Before I could even make it a step a searing pain shot through the bottom of my ankle. Whatever it was that was on the ground had shot up and struck me through the back of the shin. And whatever it was really hurt. I fell over as the sharp pain shot up through my body. My mouth fell open as I screamed in agony, my face smacking into the sand. It didn't help that sand began to flood into my eyes and mouth.

The same strike came again at my knee and I screamed as what felt like a needle dug under my kneecap and twisted. I let out another piercing scream at the pain and fought desperately to get away. What the hell was happening to me? This was agony. I looked up and away from whatever was attacking my legs and finally saw it. Twisting bodies were coming towards me and writhing together. They were all coming towards me. But they weren't human bodies. They were snakes.

The scream that tore from my throat was louder than one that I had ever heard before. It was louder than I had even thought was possible. They were all slithering towards me in droves and the one that had already bitten me twice came to wind itself around my arm. I screamed in horror as it twisted its body around my arm, cutting off the blood flow. I hated snakes. But I hadn't thought about them in forever. Not since I had been in Amity.

A few more of the snakes came towards me and began to wrap themselves around my legs. I tried to shake them off but I was too weak. They were latched onto me. They were squeezing, the pain keeping me down on the ground. A few of the snakes struck out at my stomach and I cried out in agony again. Tears were steadily flowing down my face as I began to hyperventilate.

Making the fear even worse, a large snake came slithering out from the corner. It was one that made me want to die at the sight of it. The thing had yellow and white markings. It came towards me as the others began to move out of its way. The snake slithered over to my body and I tried to fight it off as it wrapped itself around my torso. All that earned me was a few bites to the abdomen. I shrieked in a mix of pain and horror as it constricted its body. It was so tight that I was positive that I was going to die.

More were coming upwards over my body to wrap themselves around my limbs. One squeezed its body around my ankle and I sobbed as the bone snapped. I tried to stand to shake them off of me but I immediately fell under the broken ankle. Once more the snakes began to slither over my body, completely covering me from head to toe. One slithered over my forehead as more pressed their stomachs against my ears. Some of them were even trying to slither inside.

Opening my mouth once more to scream, I was cut off. I should have never tried to scream. I wasn't even sure what good it would do me. A snake made its way into my mouth and immediately slithered down my throat, cutting off my airways. I was choking and crying as I tried to get it away from me. But I couldn't. The other snakes had me pinned down.

And that was when I remembered. _It isn't real_. _It isn't real. It isn't real_. I repeated the mantra to myself as I remembered that it was only a sim. I steadied my frantic breathing and slowly relaxed, repeating the mantra to myself. The movement on my body suddenly stopped as the cold and slimy scales of the snakes turned scratchy and still. Rope. It was only rope. I tugged the rope out of my throat and leaned over, trying not to vomit. As I weakly stood I felt the world go black once more.

"Get them off of me!" I shrieked as I jumped out of the chair and brushed myself off.

I was back in the sim room with no evidence of ever being in the snake pit around me. I settled down slightly and let a few breaths out as I leaned over the edge of the chair. It was just a sim. I was fine. There were no snakes near me and none were anywhere in Dauntless. Four was standing over in the corner, stifling his laughter. Although when I looked over at him he could clearly no longer hold it in. He burst out laughing.

"Four!" I yelled at him, which only made his laughter harder. I grabbed the papers off of the computer and threw them at him. Naturally that only made him laugh harder. "Why are you laughing?"

Four leaned over and wiped his eyes as he began to pick up the papers that I had thrown at him. I scowled as he got them all back together and came to stand next to me. He finished off his last bought of laughter and shook his head at me. I was restraining myself from slapping him over the head.

"I'm sorry Alex. It's just that someone like you I see you having fears like having to kill someone you care about or being the reason that a family member dies. But I mean, you have a fear of snakes?" he asked.

"So?" I snapped, scowling once more.

"And a wonderful reaction to it, might I add."

"Says the one who's afraid of heights!" I yelled.

Four stopped laughing and gave me a little glare, to which I gave a small smirk. I knew that he didn't like that I was making fun of him for having a fear of heights. But my fear was just as funny as his. I still saw the amusement in the back of his eyes. So it turned out that we both had somewhat embarrassing fears.

"God, I haven't thought about that fear in forever," I said.

I leaned back to sit in the chair for a moment. "What happened?" Four asked.

"When I was really young, only about three or so, I was out in the Amity fields picking flowers," I said. Four snorted and I scowled. "Shut up. There was this one really pretty one with a black stem instead of a green one. When I grabbed it I realized why. It was a snake wrapped around it. It bit me. I cried for hours when I got home, panicking that it was venomous or something. My parents brought me to the doctor and everything. I didn't set foot back in the fields for months. When I finally did I never saw another snake. And being here in Dauntless I never thought about them. I didn't even realize that I was still afraid of them."

He came to stand next to me. "Sometimes we have fears that we forget about. But they're still there. Buried in the back of our minds," he said.

"Makes sense to me," I said.

After all, I hadn't known what I was afraid of before we started this. And I now knew what four of my fears were. "We're going to have to figure out how to get you through that not acting like a Divergent," Four said.

"Okay."

"Thank you for the entertainment for the night," Four said.

He was laughing again. I reached out and hit Four roughly in the arm. It did nothing to him. I was sure that he felt like it was a little butterfly knocking into him. He continued to laugh as I hit him again, but hitting him still made me feel better. At least Four wouldn't hit me back. I knew that Eric would.

"I'm glad that I amuse you so," I growled.

Four smiled at me. "Come on. Get up," Four said.

"Look, what was said at the meeting... It wasn't good. Jeanine, she knows what I am," I said.

Four pinched the bridge of his nose. This was the worst thing that I could have told him. "Damn it," Four muttered.

"As far as I know she doesn't know about you. It's too dangerous for us to talk while Jeanine is still in Dauntless," I said.

He nodded and I sighed as we walked out the door. "You're right. We can't tie you to anyone else other than your friends while she's here. I believe she's leaving either later tonight or in the morning. So hang around tonight. Try to act normal," he said.

He had no idea just how good at acting normal I really was. It was one of my specialties. "I can manage that," I said.

"Tomorrow night you're going to come back here and tell me everything that you know."

"Okay."

Four merely scowled at me. "It's not a joke, Alex. Tomorrow you tell me everything. From the very beginning. Everything that happened in the meeting and everything you know about that file," he warned.

I knew that he was serious about this. It wasn't only my life on the line here. It was hundreds of people. Four was one of them. There had to be others too. Tori had told me that her brother was one too. It was why she had protected me. I was sure that it wasn't just us either. There had to plenty of other Dauntless like us.

"I promise, Four. Tomorrow after dinner I'll come back here and tell you everything," I promised.

"I'll hold you up to that."

"We have to do something. Jeanine and Max are not going to start a war against anyone. Divergent or not," I said softly as we walked through the halls.

Four nodded as he reached out and squeezed my hand. "I'm with you, Alex," he told me and I smiled.

"Thank you."

He had no idea how much that meant to me. I knew that I had friends that were on my side but they weren't like this. They weren't risking their lives to keep me safe. I would never ask them to do that. I wouldn't even ask Four to do that. He had volunteered. He was good that way. As we walked into the dining room I smiled and let my hand slip from Four's. I was starving after not eating all day. I turned to walk into the dining room before I heard Four call back to me.

"Try not to run into any snakes when you're out there!" Four called after me.

He laughed as he headed over to Zeke and a few of his other friends. "Asshole," I growled.

I continued muttering under my breath as I headed for my friends. They were all sitting at the same table we were normally at and it was obvious that they were already done. There was a plate laid out for me and I smiled. They all turned back and I waved to them as I took my seat in between Heather and Buck.

"Hey! They were about to close the kitchen so we grabbed you this," Buck said.

I smiled at him. "Thank you," I chirped.

"So where did you get off to today?" Buck asked as I shifted in the seat and downed my water.

Smiling at them I began to pick apart my chicken, more inhaling it than actually eating it. "Sorry about that today, guys. I had kind of a hectic morning. Max wanted to speak with me and I had to go get some paperwork together after that and I lost track of the time," I told them.

I got a few odd looks at the mention of having a meeting with Max but I was glad that no one pushed it. I didn't want to have to develop an even deeper lie. Especially not to them. I had lied to them enough. The lies were slowly driving me insane. Hopefully I would only have to carry them for another few weeks.

"When Heather found me out in the hallway I realized just how late it really was and I had to sprint to make it to Four in time to do my fear sim," I told them with a little laugh, hoping that they bought my carefree attitude.

"Good timing," Jax said.

"Sounds like quite the adventurous day you've had," Dante said.

I smiled with a little nod. "Oh, it was quite something," I said.

Everyone laughed as I finished up my dinner. There was a little pit forming in my stomach. One wrong move on my part and my friends would die. But I wouldn't let that happen. Not because of me. So I smiled as we all laughed and shoved each other around. This was all that I wanted to deal with right now. I just wished that I could be ignorant towards what was happening. But that wasn't the hand that I had been dealt. I hated having to deal with everything that I was. But I could forget about that for now. Jeanine and Max could wait.

"How about we go hang in the Pit for a while?" I asked as I realized that people were already clearing out of the dining room. Everyone agreed as we stood up and headed into the Pit. We were some of the last to leave.

"Definitely!" Heather cheered.

We headed into the Pit and I spent hours hanging around and drinking casually with my friends. Four would kill me if I was hungover when I was trying to explain a war plan to him. We were all laughing together as I tried to push the worries into the back of my mind.

We played a few games with the Dauntless born and most of them ended in minor brawls. But they were all in good fun. I had even let Zeke shoot an apple off the top of my head with a knife. He had insisted that he was great with knives. I figured that it would be funny if I died from something like a miss with a knife. I wasn't sure if Jeanine would think that it was funny or awful. Thankfully he hadn't missed. I was currently dancing with Heather near the edge of the Pit. I saw Eric hanging over near the wall with a few of his friends and he smirked when he saw me, shooting me a small wink.

Leaning back to Heather I muttered in her ear, "I'm heading out for the night. I'll be back at the dorms later."

"Don't worry about it. Enjoy your night with Eric," Heather muttered back.

Evidently no one was looking to go back to the dorms tonight. As we got closer to the end of initiation people stopped caring about the rule of no initiates and members being together. Heather motioned to the edge of the Pit and I saw that Draven was leaving with a red-headed Dauntless girl. She the hostess at the restaurant that Damien had once taken me to. Jax was also leaving with a brunette girl that looked to be a few years older than him. At least some of them were on their way.

Heather and I leaned in to give each other a hug as we said goodnight. Heather turned from me and I waved to a few of my remaining friends. Heather went straight forward to go hunt down Cole and I smirked at her. At least they were in for a good night. I went to turn back to find where Eric had gotten to when a hand laid itself on my hip. I jumped to brush the offending hand off before realizing that it was exactly the person that I was looking for.

"Come with me," Eric whispered.

"Alright."

The two of us kept a slight distance in between us when we walked so that no one would get suspicious about where we were going or why we were going together. I walked behind him as we headed off to his apartment. Once we got to his apartment he ushered me in quickly and I headed to the bed. I stripped my jacket off and threw it over the back of his chair.

"I'll be right back," Eric said and I nodded.

He left to the room that I assumed was his office and I leaned back in his bed. I began to flip through the book that he had laying on his bedside table and smiled. It was another classic. Bram Stoker's _Dracula_. Eric was certainly a fan of classics. He eventually came out of his office and I watched as he headed into the bathroom. I flipped through the pages and yawned deeply as I leaned back against his pillows.

It was getting late and I was exhausted. It had been a long day and there had been far too much happening to me today. My eyes began to droop closed as something began to slide up my leg. Remembering what I had been subjected to in my fear sim I jumped back and threw my leg out. Eric caught it at the last minute, grabbing my ankle in his hands and wrenching it back down, just barely keeping me from kicking him in the face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Eric snapped.

He looked pissed that I had nearly kicked him in the face. "My fear sim," I mumbled quietly.

Eric cocked his head to the side and I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "What was it?" he asked.

"Snakes..." I mumbled under my breath.

My words certainly came as a shock to him. His face fell as he stared at me. "Snakes?" he asked for clarification.

"Yes."

"Snakes?"

"Yes."

"Like as in the animal?" he asked.

"Yes. What other kind is there?" I snapped.

There was a little scowl on my face. Eric was supposed to be an ex-Erudite. Shouldn't he know what a snake was? And I didn't think that there was another kind besides the animal. Eric leaned back his head and began to laugh loudly, just like Four had done a few hours earlier. I scowled darkly at him. What the hell was it that made both Four and Eric think that my fear was so funny?

"Oh come on!" I yelled, shoving Eric back towards the bed. It did absolutely nothing. "You and Four both think that it's funny!"

Once more Eric continued to laugh and I rolled my eyes. Reaching my limit of the two men making fun of me I grabbed Eric's shirt and shoved him backwards onto the bed. He had since changed into a tank top and a pair of dark gray pants. I assumed that they were what he normally wore to bed when I wasn't around. He was faster than me as he grabbed me when he fell. I flew on top of him and laughed as he rolled over and trapped me underneath himself.

His knees were on my arms and I struggled to move. There was a way that I could try and move out of the position that we were currently in, but he was too heavy. He had me trapped and he knew it. Eric was definitely the type to like it when I was in positions of little to no power.

"It is funny, Amity," Eric purred.

I rolled my eyes. He thought that anything I did that was mildly embarrassing was funny. "No, it isn't," I growled.

"Aren't you all supposed to be about loving nature and everything in it?" he asked.

"In case you hadn't noticed I'm not Amity anymore!" I snapped.

Eric merely laughed and leaned slightly off of me. "You still look pretty Amity to me," he teased.

I shook my head at him as he leaned back to let me sit up a little bit. "And, no. A damn snake bit me when I was a little kid out playing in the Amity fields. I've hated them since then. I just haven't thought about it in forever. I didn't even remember that I was afraid of them," I said.

He laughed again. "Of course," he chuckled.

Stupid Eric had never done anything dumb when he was a little kid. "Oh, come on! Like you didn't do anything embarrassing when you were a kid?" I asked.

His face hardened as he shook his head. "No," he answered simply.

That had to be a lie. I knew that Eric was mostly stoic and didn't seem to be one to ever make mistakes but he had to embarrass himself at least once when he was a child. Like running through the hallways if Erudite naked or something. But maybe that was just Amity kids that did that.

"I don't believe you. You had to have done at least one embarrassing thing?" I asked.

"Nope."

"Something that would make the rest of the Faction cringe if anyone could find out that you did it?" I asked again.

Maybe I would have to go see if Cameron knew anything about Eric's embarrassing childhood. "Not when I was a kid. When I was younger my parents hardly ever let me out of the house. I was always kept away so that no one could ever come to see me. My parents were trying something about not socializing their kid. The only time that I actually interacted with other people was when I went to school. They only cared about watching my behavioral patterns. If I had done something embarrassing I'm sure that they would have tossed me over the the edge of the building," Eric said.

The previous amusement of my attitude had completely deflated at his words. Of course he hadn't done anything stupid when he was a kid. He had never really been treated like a kid. His parents had always thought of him as strictly an experiment. I would my fingers with Eric's and shook my head.

"You don't have to tell me that," I said softly. I wasn't sure why he was telling me this. Maybe it was because he had never known anyone else that he wanted to tell this to.

"They never cared about me. All they wanted to do was continue an experiment. They never touched me. Never hugged me or kissed me goodnight when I was an infant. They had a nanny take care of me. Cooking and cleaning. The basic necessities of life. They couldn't even do that. I hate my parents. I always will. When I learned to fight the only thing that I wanted was to go back and beat their skulls in," Eric said.

His grip on my hand became tighter at his words. "The only people that I ever had on my side were Cameron's family. They let me eat dinner in their home, they let me sleep over there after a fight with my parents, and they were the ones that went to meetings with my teachers. They were always the people that were my parents," he said and I smiled. Cameron was more than his friend. He was his brother. "My family. The people that I happen to share DNA with? They're nothing."

I leaned up and kissed the bottom of his jaw. It was tense from his previous words. "You're right," I told Eric.

He looked down at me, slightly surprised at my words. "What?" he asked.

His parents were nothing. They were less than human for treating Eric the way that they had. "They are nothing without you," I said.

It didn't reach his lips but I did notice the smile that came to his eyes. He leaned down to kiss me and I wrapped my hands into the fabric at the bottom of his tank top. Our lips moved together for a moment before he finally pulled away from me and traced his hands down the side of my neck. I twitched slightly under his touch and he laughed.

"So what does that mean since you're with me?" he asked.

My answer immediately came to mind. "I guess that it shows just how crazy I am," I said with a little laugh.

Eric laughed too and I smiled as he rolled us over once more, closer to the center of the bed. I smiled and traced my hands up the side of his face to wind themselves in his hair. I wanted to remember every bit of him like this. I was trying to memorize him in this moment. Jeanine was right. The minute that Eric found out what I was he wasn't going to want anything to do with me. Maybe he would kill me. But that wasn't right now. So I would enjoy the way that he was acting with me for now.

Eric grabbed my arms and I laughed as he pulled me up to the top of the bed. The strain on my arms was slightly painful but I wasn't about to admit that to him. He would just tease me for being a weak Amity again. One of his favorite pastimes. I laughed as his mouth connected to my own and he grabbed the base of my tank top. I lifted my arms slightly so that he could pull it over my head. It left my body and I watched as Eric tossed it off of the side of the bed. I giggled once more as Eric knocked me back against the headboard. So he wanted to play rough tonight?

He kissed me roughly and I melted into into him as he took my wrists in both hands. He raised one to the side of the headboard and I heard something click. Eric pulled away from me and backed off with a smirk. In his hand was a key and I watched him toss it to the floor. It was the key to a handcuff. That was currently around my wrist.

"What do you know? You aren't the only crazy one," Eric told me.

He was laughing loudly. "Eric! Get this off of me!" I yelled when I finally realized what had happened.

It didn't matter. Eric continued to laugh at the position that he had just put me in. I tried to yank my arm out of the handcuff but it was too tight. All that it was doing was digging into the skin on my wrists. Eric merely laughed as he stripped off his tank top and tossed it with mine. He leaned back over to me and I shook my head at him. This was so not funny.

"Where did you even get this thing?" I snarled as I yanked against it again.

"Got it just for you," Eric said.

He leaned in for another kiss and I backed away from him. "No! Get this fucking thing off of my wrist. Come on. This is so not -" I rambled until Eric leaned in to kiss me.

As hot as it was, I was not going to let him chain me up like this. I bit down on his lip and Eric pulled away with a hiss. "Damn it," Eric growled in pain.

"Let me out. Now," I ordered.

The bite didn't bother Eric as much as I had thought that it would. He merely leaned back away from me and smiled. "Well if that's the way that you're going to play it, I'll just leave you here to think about what you've done," he said.

Eric slapped my thigh and I hissed in pain, kicking out at him. "What?" I asked dumbly.

He stood from the bed and I watched as he pulled the shirt back on over his shoulders. "Bye, Amity," Eric said.

"Oh, come on. You are not going to just leave me here," I said.

As soon as I said it I wanted to smack myself. Of course he was going to leave me here. Eric loved to cause me all sorts of trouble. Plus leaving me chained to his bedpost half naked was a wonderful way to cause me trouble. Eric walked towards the door, throwing back a quick wink at me.

"Eric! Come on, I'm sorry for biting you!" I yelled.

He had clearly been banking on me saying that I was sorry. But it made no difference for him. "Don't worry about that. I'll come back to deal with you later," he said with dark eyes.

I knew that he had meant it in more than one way. But I knew that he also meant that he really was going to leave me here for at least a little while. "Eric!" I shouted.

"Enjoy your night, Amity. I'll be back soon," he said with a laugh.

I called out his name mixed with a few curses before he slipped out of the door and closed it. The deadbolt closed a moment later. _Asshole_. He was really going to leave me here. And I couldn't get out of the cuffs; the key was too far away. Sighing in defeat I dropped against the headboard and cuddled into the pillows the best that I could. One day I was going to get him back for this. And it was going to start with him not getting anything tonight. Of course, I was never known to have the best control. Stupid Eric.

With nothing else to do, I simply tried to shut my eyes and go to bed. Not that it worked. I was too uncomfortable. I wasn't sure how long I'd laid in his bed. Forever probably. I tried everything that I could think of to get myself out of the cuffs. I'd yanked at them until my hands were about to bleed and I'd tried to dislocate my thumb to wiggle out of them. I'd gotten desperate by that point. I'd used his knife to try to cut through the thin chain but that hadn't worked either.

I'd even tried to reach the key, which Eric had left just frustratingly out of my reach. I'd done everything that I could think of that didn't involve some type of mutilation on my part, but I still wasn't able to get out of his stupid handcuffs. At that point I knew that I was just going to have to wait for him. So once I saw that it was nearing one in the morning I closed my eyes and dozed off, not at all comfortable with my position.

It was probably an hour later that I heard the lock on his door click again. He must have been out for a while to have some fun with his friends. Just so that he could leave me here to myself, chained to his damn bed. My eyes opened and I groaned as he flicked on the lights that were underneath the cabinets in the kitchen. At least he hadn't turned the main lights on.

"Had a good evening?" he asked with a cruel smile.

"Jackass," I growled.

He merely laughed as I shook my head and turned to look away from him. The last thing that I wanted to do was give him that satisfaction of knowing that chaining me up had driven me nuts. He merely smiled at me and walked closer to the bed, falling over me. He leaned over me and I looked away, not wanting to give him what he wanted.

"Come on, Amity. I know that you can't ignore me forever," Eric teased.

"Wanna bet?" I asked.

If I could have crossed my arms over my chest I would have. Eric merely laughed as he leaned in closer to me and kissed the edge of my shoulder. It sent a little shiver through me and I shook it off. He was not getting the better of me tonight. He was not. He hummed against my skin as he moved over my collar bone and dipped a little lower, right over where my bra covered. It made me shiver slightly. He knew which buttons to push on me.

"You are _not_ getting laid tonight," I snarled at him.

He merely laughed. It was annoying how well he knew me. He ran his hands up my thighs and I shivered as they fiddled with the buttons on my jeans. He wasn't the type to listen to me. If he wanted me tonight he was going to get me. And I was literally powerless to do anything. Stupid Eric.

"Yes I am," he told me cockily.

I merely scoffed at him and leaned back against the headboard. "You aren't," I snapped.

"Come on, Amity. You know that you want me."

Maybe that was true but I wasn't going to tell him that. Eric leaned in and kissed me roughly. I bit his lip as harshly as I could but he didn't stop. He merely reached around and unclasped the back of my bra. Eric tore the straps and I groaned when it went flying to the floor. There went another innocent garment to Eric's impatience.

"Eric!" I yelled, pulling away from the kiss. "Come on, I liked that bra. That's the second one you've destroyed this week."

What was it with him and constantly destroying my things? The other bra that he had destroyed was currently lying somewhere near the Erudite compound. Unless some Factionless person had taken it. He merely laughed and leaned in to kiss me once more. This time I didn't bite him, as I didn't really want to hurt him, but I did try to buck him off of me. He only growled deep in his throat before giving a soft nip to my lower lip.

"I'll buy you a new one," Eric said.

That time I laughed. It was his promise any time that he ruined another piece of clothing. He was going to owe me quite a bit by the time that we were able to go out in public together. He was definitely going to owe me a long shopping trip once the next five weeks were over. Eric leaned down to kiss my now bare breast and I moaned. I wanted to reach to take off his shirt but I still wanted to try and hold out. I attempted to squirm away from him but there weren't many places that I could go.

"Don't struggle. You know that you want it," Eric said.

I tried to kick him off of me but he only grabbed my ankle and forced my legs back against the bed. He worked at my zipper as his mouth kissed from the outside of my breast, to the nipple, and then over the valley and to the other one. I was still writhing back and forth, trying to keep him off of me. As much as I really wanted to have a good time together, I was still angry that he had dared to try and lock me against the bed for a few hours.

While I had been brooding, he had finally managed to pop the button on the pants and lift my hips up in the air. I tried to fight him away from my hips but he was stronger. He forced my hips down against the bed as he ripped them off, tossing them to the floor. There was no way that I would have been able to keep the jeans on anyways. His fingers slipped into the sides of my underwear and I managed to kick him in the chest to keep him away from me. Not that it did much.

"No, damn it. You are not going to chain me up and leave me here only to come back and have your way with me," I growled.

He merely laughed. "Come on, Amity. Don't tell me that you don't want this," Eric said.

Of course I wanted it but that didn't mean that I was going to willingly admit it. He laughed again as he hooked his fingers in my underwear and slid them off of my body. I tried weakly to fight him off of me but it did nothing. He merely shook his head at me and pushed my legs apart. I tried to close them again but I was losing any will to fight. I really did want him. I knew that I did. I could feel how wet I was. It was gently rubbing against the inside of my thighs.

Eric gently pushed my ankles apart and I felt him run his fingers up the inside of my thighs. I shivered slightly, trying to close my legs again, but he didn't give me the chance. He gave me no warning before gently running a finger over my folds and then sliding the finger inside of me. I lifted my hips off of his bed and tried to wiggle again. I wasn't really sure if I was trying to get away from him or push his finger farther into me. He laughed as he curled his finger.

"See? I knew you wanted it. I can feel how wet you are," Eric snarled.

Fine. He was right. I wanted him. As insane as it was it didn't matter that he had chained me to his bed and left me here. I just wanted him inside of me. The fucked up part of me thought that him chaining me to the bed was one of the hottest things that I had ever done. It was something that I wished that he would have done more often.

"Alright, you win. Just take your damn clothes off and fuck me," I snarled at him.

That was all that it took. Eric slid his finger out of me and I shivered at the sudden loss, watching as he pulled his clothing off. His shirt and pants came off fast and I smirked when he pulled off his boxers, his hard length springing free. God I wanted him in me. He came back upwards toward me and I spread my legs, keeping my feet planted against the bed.

I expected him to push himself into me immediately but I was completely wrong. Eric moved like a lion stalking its prey as he snuck closer to me. I began to close my legs slightly, almost embarrassed by how close he was coming to my center, but he didn't give me the opportunity to keep them closed. His hands wrapped around my ankles and wrenched them apart. I groaned slightly at the stretch in my thighs and I watched as he dropped in between my legs.

My legs immediately started shaking. His tongue ran up my core and I shivered at the sudden intrusion. A cry tore from out of my throat as his tongue ran up and down my length a few times before dipping into my core. His name came from my lips a few times as he dipped his tongue in and out of my center. His thumb was rubbing against my clit and he would occasionally scratch his teeth against my clit. His name poured from my lips a few times. Juices were running down my thighs as he twisted his tongue inside of me. He knew exactly how to use his tongue.

He twisted his tongue inside of me for another few minutes, making me writhe and moan against his bed. I wanted him to press his fingers in me but he was just using his tongue. It made my entire body shake slightly. More than once I tried to lift my hips up off of the bed but his hands would press me back down. All I could do was grab the slightly cracked headboard - from another one of our nights together - and try to take out my frustration on it.

My toes were curling as his tongue ran its way up to my clit and began to twirl around it. His teeth gently grazed it once more, tugging it downwards slightly, and I yelled out louder than I meant to when he bit down on it gently. He rolled it in between his teeth as he tugged at it again.

His name mixed in with other crude curses were spilling from my lips as I opened my legs a little more. He took the hint and finally managed to drop two fingers inside of me. I shouted his name as he curled his fingers in between pumps and lifted my hips off of the bed, trying to drive his tongue and fingers farther into me. He used his free hand to drape across my stomach and push me into the bed as his fingers twisted against my nipples.

It was all too much. I knew that I was close to the edge as I cried out loudly. His fingers were rough inside of me and I panted, trying desperately to move my hips around. But he wasn't about to dare let me move. His arm kept me pinned to the bed as his tongue flicked against my clit and his fingers pumped in roughly. He added a third and fourth a few minutes later and I gasped loudly. It was stretching me further than I was used to, but it felt so good.

To get even more friction, I was now rolling my hips as much as I could, getting Eric's tongue to rub rougher against my clit. It made a few little whines escape my lips from the sudden pleasure. It helped that he had a little bit of a shadow that was rubbing against my thighs. Eric took the hint and roughly pressed against me as his fingers quickly worked inside of me.

"Fuck. E - Eric, don't stop. Please don't stop," I begged him softly.

It was all that I could get out as the fibers began to bundle in my core. "Say my name," Eric demanded.

After everything that he had done to me today I wasn't so sure that I wanted to say his name, no matter what he did. I wasn't even sure that I could get it out. My entire body was shaking as he continued his assault on my core. My mouth fell open as I attempted to call his name. Nothing more than a pathetic moan came out.

"Say it," he growled again.

This time the demand didn't even register. I merely leaned back on the bed and shoved my hips closer to him. Eric's free hand went onto the inside of my thighs, keeping them apart as he continued to gently run his tongue over me. He retracted his fingers and his tongue and I whined at the loss of contact. I was so close.

"Beg for it," he demanded.

"No," I growled back at him.

There was no way that I was going to give him the satisfaction. He clearly didn't like that answer. He dipped back down to my center and thrust a finger inside of me. His tongue flitted over my clit and I moaned loudly, calling out his name once. It only lasted a blissful second before he retracted himself from me once more.

"What the hell are you -?"

"Beg for it. Or I can leave you like this," Eric taunted.

His eyes were glittering and I knew that he meant it. He was going to leave me like this and I couldn't even get my own fingers to help myself get off. They were bound back against the top of the bed. I knew that if there was any way that I wanted to get off tonight, it would only be by playing Eric's game. Fucking prick.

"Eric," I moaned again. Of course he didn't want to hear just that. He wanted more. He wanted me to make it a show for him. "Fuck me, Eric. I need you. I need to come. Please. I want you inside of me."

It was practically begging. I hated having to do that but I knew that he wasn't going to touch me again until I did. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Eric asked with a little smirk.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You got what you wanted. Now fuck me," I growled.

He gave me no time to prepare myself as he moved forward and thrust himself inside of me. I knew that I'd wanted him to fuck me, but I really hadn't thought that he was going to do it quite as fast as he had. I yelled his name loudly as I spread my legs farther apart. He gave me no time to adjust himself before pumping in and out of me. His head came down and his mouth attached itself to my nipple as his hand came to pinch my other nipple.

His name was pouring out of my lips as he took his free hand to grab my hair and yank it roughly to the side. It was the first time that we had been like this that I couldn't reach out and touch him. I wanted desperately to grab onto something, rake my nails down his back or anything. But I couldn't. My hands were bound to the bed and I was desperate to touch him. But I couldn't. Eric was thrusting in between my legs roughly and I wrapped them around his waist.

His thrusts were somewhere in between painful and pleasurable but I never wanted him to stop. All I wanted was to feel him deep inside of me. I yanked pathetically against the cuffs but my wrists were not moving. And Eric clearly liked that. His hands were everywhere on my body and as my moans become louder and less decipherable his mouth clamped over my own. My entire body was shoved around the bed like a rag doll as he had his way with me.

His tongue was searching through my mouth as his thrusts hit a spot that awakened something animalistic inside of me. I moaned darkly into his mouth as I began to thrust my hips up to meet his own thrusts. Eric didn't bother to stop me and instead began slamming his hips harder against mine. It was so hard that I knew that it would bruise. Our hips were hitting each other's roughly and I cried out as his thumb attached itself to my clit and he began to rub against it.

My vision was going spotty as I leaned my head back and let out a few soft growls. His thrusts were near impossible to keep up with as he grabbed the roots of my hair and pulled my head up to meet his. His teeth nipped at the back of my ear and I let out a breathy moan. God I needed this.

"Come. Now," he hissed in my ear.

That was everything that I needed. I leaned back into the bed and rested my head against his pillow, letting out moans and groans that were all mixed together. My entire body was erupting in spasms as I let out a few cries and scratched at the headboard desperately. I'd never felt so incredible as I did right now. My entire body fell a little limp as I closed my eyes.

Eric's name and some curses were mixing together from my mouth as I felt him let himself go. I felt him pour himself inside of me and I groaned as he pumped a few more times, emptying himself. He growled deep in his throat as his head came down to me to kiss me roughly. Our lips moved together and I sucked in a breath as he pulled out of me and laid on his side next to me. He brought his mouth up to kiss me once more and I smiled as he pulled away.

We were both breathing heavily as Eric kissed me once more. I smiled into the case as his hands cupped the side of my neck. Sweat was beading on our foreheads and I laughed as Eric wiped it away from my forehead. My breath was still coming in short pants as I leaned over to him, motioning to the cuffs with my eyes.

"Alright you've had your fun. Get these things off of me," I said.

Eric merely laughed and shook his head. That was what turned my stomach. That definitely wasn't a good sign. It was a sign that he wasn't going to do something that I wanted. Eric grabbed the sheets and pulled them over us as I stared at him sidelong. He was not just going to leave me in these stupid things. Was he?

"I don't know Amity, I'm starting to like you like that," he purred.

My jaw dropped and I watched him closely before he leaned back over into the bed and settled under the sheets. He pulled me down so that I was lying next to him. But my hands were still bound to the top of the headboard. He was not really going to do this to me. I was not sleeping like this after I'd given in and had sex with him.

"I'll see you in the morning," Eric said with the smallest hint of a laugh in his voice.

"Eric! Get these things off of me," I hissed.

He merely smiled at me and gave me a small kiss. "Sorry, sweetheart, have a good night. I'll let you out in the morning. Don't even know where the key is right now," he said.

How was he really going to do something like that, even after I had given him what he wanted? We must have argued about the cuffs for at least ten minutes before he finally got me to shut up and go to bed. I scoffed at him and rolled back and forth in the bed for at least half an hour. There was no comfortable position in these things. How was I going to sleep like this? He really was going to just leave me in these stupid things all night lone. Maybe I did actually deserve this. It was needless to say that I was a pain in his ass nearly all of the time. And I knew that he was enjoying having me with absolutely no control.

So after nearly an hour of grumbling to myself I finally rolled over as much as I could and closed my eyes. Eric had been awake the entire time, laughing to himself. He grabbed me around the waist and I groaned, letting my head fall against his shoulder. It was actually a little more comfortable than I had thought that it would be. But it still wasn't the way that I wanted to be sleeping. I knew that he was awake long after, laughing at the position that he had gotten me in. Stupid Eric.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Please review!** Until next time -A

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you like this one too! :)**

 **Debbydq: Glad that you liked it! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Another yawn escaped my mouth as I leaned back against the cold wall in the waiting room. The fear sims were going on and Jet was in the room right now. He was the last person that I had heard Four call in. With my eyes closed I started rubbing against my wrists which, after a week, were still a little tender from the cuffs that Eric had put me in.

Even though I had been so determined not to let him touch me once he came back to the apartment, I had given in. I was still a little mad at myself for caving but it was well worth it. But my wrists were still sore. Four had noticed the bruising on my wrists the morning after and I had thought that he was going to kill me when he figured out what had happened. Thankfully he saved the yelling until after my sim. I assumed that Four didn't have the same kinks that Eric and I did. Mostly because he was an ex-Abnegation.

My mind began to wander to the past week and I let out a slow breath through my nose. Eric hadn't opened up much to me since he had told me about his awful childhood and I hadn't wanted to push it. He hadn't even seemed thrilled to tell me what he had. And the last thing that I wanted to do was make him uncomfortable. I knew that it was a slow progression in our relationship.

That was particularly because we hadn't seen each other that much lately. I had stopped spending so much time with Eric and more with my friends. It wasn't necessarily because I didn't want to be with him. People all around Dauntless, including members whose names I didn't even know, were beginning to get curious where the Amity transfer spent her nights. I wasn't sure how they knew that. I probably had Jade to thank for it.

Her little sabotage had made me more careful over this past week. Max knew about Eric and I but that didn't mean we could walk around hand-in-hand. Not that Eric would. If the entire Faction knew about us I would be thrown out for sure. Although maybe it would be a little funny compared to what could be happen to me. Either way, I had managed to convince Eric that it wasn't so wise that we spent so much time around each other. The last thing that I wanted was for him to get in trouble.

Eric hadn't seemed thrilled about the idea but he had agreed. He wasn't a stupid man and he wasn't overly attached either. He seemed fine with the change in schedules. During one of our conversations that we'd had only a few days ago I had been sure to remind him that there was only four weeks of initiation left until we could actually go out in public together. We wouldn't have to worry about sneaking around.

Of course I hadn't mentioned that in four weeks he would know the entire truth of what I was and would more than likely never speak to me again. Or maybe he would kill me. Either way, it was best to leave him in the dark. I still went to visit him every other day but I had only stayed in his apartment once over the past week, as much as I would have loved to stay more often.

Tonight was the next day that we had agreed to spend our nights together. Maybe not spend the night, but I would head there after training. He had been busy most days anyways. We were both adults with better things to be doing than bothering each other during our days. I still had to focus on my training and Eric had a real job to do. Not that I knew what his job was. He just seemed to go through paperwork all of the time.

I twisted slightly in my seat and glanced over to Draven, giving him a small smile. Last night I had gone with him to get a tattoo. He had gotten the Dauntless fire all across his back. It worked well with the deeply tanned skin he had. Tori had done the tattoo and I had enjoyed getting to spend a while speaking with her again. She had seemed glad to see me too.

Last night we had all actually gone to get tattoos. Heather and I initially hadn't. We were merely going to support our male friends, who were each getting their first. I wanted to see them all get their firsts and see what they were getting done. We wanted to make sure that they weren't getting anything stupid. We both knew that they could end up doing some very stupid things that would be permanent.

Buck had gotten a large and intricate wire that wrapped down over his arm and went across the top of his chest. Razors seemed to be mixed into the wire design. It was quite impressive. I'd noticed a few girls looking at him now that he looked a little more Dauntless. Dante had gotten a smaller tribal tattoo that had gone over his upper chest and shoulder. He planned to expand it in the future, which everyone agreed with.

Jax had gotten a rather clever tattoo on his chest. It looked like the skin was tearing away from his chest and underneath the torn areas was something akin to a metal chest plate. It was seriously bad-ass. Jet had gotten a set of dates across his left upper arm. I wasn't sure what they were and I hadn't gathered the balls to ask.

As for Heather and I, despite having not gone for tattoos, we had caved after watching the boys. Not that we hadn't known that was going to happen. Eric and Four had both once told me that tattoos were addictive. Once you got one you wanted more. It was easy to say that they were right. I had three now and Heather had two.

She had gotten a pretty vine that went up her spine. She said that it had hurt like hell. I could attest. I had been holding her hand when she'd gotten it done and I thought that she was going to break it. The vine had roses woven into it with small thorns on them. It certainly added to her Dauntless look. She had also ditched the brown tips to her hair for something a little different. The tips of her hair were now a brilliant purple. Every day she looked more and more Dauntless.

I had gone for something of a mix. It was something that I had decided that I deserved after everything that I was being forced to deal with. It was something to throw in Jeanine's face. The tattoo had gotten a loud round of applause once I had showed it off. It went completely down my back and covered almost all of the skin. I was sure that if my parents ever saw it they would throw a fit. They hated tattoos.

It was a large tree with no leaves. The trunk went down the right side of my back as the branches on the top of the tree expanded over the top of my back and onto my left shoulder. The base and roots of the tree were all across the bottom of my back, just over where the band of my pants hit. It was an edgier version of the Amity tree. Dauntless fire raged all through the tops of the branches, going up the base of my neck. It was my way of saying that I didn't have to be one or the other. I could be both. There was no shame and I wanted Jeanine Matthews to know that.

As I shifted in the chair again I hissed at the slight pain that shot up my back. I was trying to lean back against the wall but it was too ginger. So instead I turned to lay on Aaron. He didn't seem to mind as I shifted my weight onto him. We were all waiting to be dismissed to lunch. We would be able to leave in the next few minutes, which was good because I was starving.

Over the past week I had beaten the fear of snakes. It was definitely my least favorite fear. Four had taught me during our midnight sessions how to get out of it. We had figured that the best way for me to get out of the pit was to run as fast as possible to the edge of the pit. There was one wall that had holes that worked as footholds. It wasn't fun because the snakes still popped out of the side of the mountain and bit me but at least I was now able to make it out. Four was confident that my fear would change once more today. I was actually looking forward to that.

My mind shot back to what happened last week for at least the tenth time just this morning. It was a conversation that I went over in my mind any time that I wasn't preoccupied. Last week, just as I had promised, I had gone to Four at night to tell him everything that was happening with Jeanine. We spent a long time just talking with each other and working to devise a plan. Not that we had come up with one.

But it was now what we used most of our midnight sessions for rather than actually going into a fear sim. There was more planning to be done and we had almost nothing that we could viably use. He had certainly been more than a little on edge since I had told him about what was going on. Not that I could blame him. We had nothing good coming to us.

Six Days Prior...

I was heading down the hallways, sneaking through the darkened corners. The last thing that I needed was for someone to cut me off and ask where I was going. Technically as an initiate I wasn't allowed in these parts of Dauntless. I had just left Heather and the rest of my friends in the dorms. I had lied and said that I was going for a run because I couldn't sleep. I supposed part of that was the truth. I hadn't been sleeping well lately.

Of course part of that might have been because of Eric. He didn't tend to like letting me actually get a full nights sleep. He was always keeping me awake for hours on end. Not that I typically complained until the morning after. Earlier today, just before I'd headed to training, I had told him that I would be at his apartment tonight. I just hoped that he would still be awake. It was already nearly midnight and the clock was still ticking.

Turning the final corner to the fear sim room I walked in slowly, making sure that no one other than Four was here. As expected, the room was empty. I pushed into the actual fear sim room and saw that Four was already in there. He was currently setting up another chair close to the one that I laid in for my sims. As I shut the door behind me and cleared my throat, Four turned back and smiled at me.

"Hey, Alex."

"Hi, Four."

"Take a seat," Four said, motioning to the bright orange chair.

I did as told and walked over to the chair. Not bothering to slip back all the way, I leaned forward and pressed my arms against my thighs. Four looked extremely tired as he sat in the chair in front of me, almost mirroring my expression. It looked to me like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Not that I blamed him. I hadn't either.

"Alright. You ready for this?" I asked Four.

"I think so. Take your time and explain everything slowly."

"Okay."

The brief hesitation told Four enough. I had no clue where to begin. "Start slow," he advised.

"I don't even know where to start. It's all so much," I said honestly.

Four nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. I nearly smiled. Eric did that when he was stressed too. So did I. Actually, everyone that I knew did that. Maybe it was just strange to see that the great Four could be stressed about something for once in his life. Of course, he had no control over this and it put his life in danger.

"First thing's first. How did you get your hands on that file?" Four asked.

That was the one thing that I probably should have explained first. With files like that being so protected, it was actually luck that I had even managed to get my hands on that file. "When I came to get the papers for my extended stay to be with my parents when my mother gives birth, remember that? You told me to go to your office and get them?" I asked.

"I remember," Four said.

"Well I went there and as I was passing Max's office. He was in there talking with Jeanine Matthews," I told Four.

His expression immediately soured. He obviously didn't like that Max was in on this. "And you heard them?" Four guessed.

"Yes. I stopped and listened to them. She was trying to get him to join her in this hunt for Divergent's. She was talking about how dangerous they were. She mentioned this file that was in Erudite. She was saying that she would bring it to him so that he could see all of her plans. I knew that I had to get it before she could get it to him," I explained.

Four probably thought that I had stumbled upon the file on accident. It actually was kind of an accident. "Because you knew that you were Divergent and in danger," he reasoned.

"Yes."

"Okay, keep going. How did you get to Erudite?" Four asked.

I had known that he was going to ask me that. "Well -" I started, before being spoken over.

"And how did you get there without another member?"

That time he narrowed his eyes at me. Without having to explain he was already starting to catch on. A little ghost of a smile came to my lips. Despite the fact that that night was the one where Damien and Colt had nearly killed me, it was also the night that Eric and I had gotten together. It was full of mostly fond memories. And it had changed me for the better.

"Mostly luck," I told him honestly.

"Luck?" Four asked.

"I snuck a look at the train schedule. Saw that there was a train heading to Erudite a few days later. It was on the last day of Phase One of initiation," I said.

It was hard to imagine that I had known about the file for two months. "You've known about it that long?" Four asked.

"Yes. I darted from the training room and made it to the train in the nick of time. Unfortunately Eric was there," I said.

Four's eyes widened. "Eric was there?" Four asked, sounding surprised and irritated.

"He was asking why I was there in the first place. I told him that it was because I needed to get my mother's medical records. I know that he didn't believe me but he hasn't brought it up since," I told him.

"He hasn't asked anything else about it?" Four clarified.

"I think that he's still a little suspicious about why I was really there that night but he hasn't said anything more about it. I don't think that he wants to think about it," I admitted.

"Good. Keep going."

"Anyways, we got there and thankfully he had a meeting to go to so I was free to look at the file."

He held up a hand and said, "Stop." I snapped my mouth shut. "Let me stop you for a minute. Is that file still there?"

Slowly I shook my head. I wished that the file was still in its place. It was proof as to what she was doing about the upcoming war. But Jeanine wasn't stupid. If she hadn't moved it before she had moved it after I had told her that I knew about the file. Maybe she would have kept it where it was had I not said anything. It was my own fault for opening my mouth.

"I doubt it. Jeanine knows that I saw the file. I told her," I admitted.

"Brilliant," Four sneered.

"Shut up. I couldn't help myself. She took it out of Erudite to show Max not long after I saw it."

Four nodded at me. He looked pissed. "Okay. We'll figure something out. I was really hoping that we could get our hands on that file. It would have been solid proof. Exactly why she moved it," Four said, echoing my thoughts.

"I somehow doubt that she's leaving it where someone else can pick it up now. She probably has it under lock and key," I said.

There was a chance that even Max could have it. All I knew was that it was somewhere that no one would be able to grab it. It took a few moments for Four to say anything else. Obviously we were at the point that we would only be relying on my memory of it. But that was good. I remembered everything that I had seen. I had repeated it to myself enough times.

"Alright, continue. What was in the file?" Four finally asked.

I let out a deep breath. There was no good way that I could start this. There was absolutely nothing good that I had seen in that file. I wasn't even sure where I could start. There was so much in the file and nothing was better than anything else. It was all horrific. My head had been spinning by the time that I had finished reading it.

"Everything. Her entire plan. Four, it's bad," I said, feeling a little desperate.

"Start simple," he said.

I nearly laughed. "Trust me when I say that no part of the plan is simple," I said.

A little hint of a smile came across his face. "I believe you. Just tell me in pieces. The people," Four said.

"What?"

"You mentioned that she knows about you because of what happened in Amity a few months ago. Who else does she know about?" Four asked.

It was easy to see that he was asking me in a subtle way whether or not she knew about him. "I don't know," I said honestly.

"You don't know any of them?" Four asked.

"I don't think so. None of the names had looked familiar to me."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Now that I think about it I should have taken down the names or something of everyone that she had in the file," I muttered.

"Don't worry about it. There's nothing that we can do now. Just keep going."

"There were a lot of people. Probably near a hundred. There was a note on the paper with my name. 'Hold until after Phase Three of initiation.' I didn't know what it meant at the time. I still don't really but she gave me a hint in the meeting yesterday," I said.

Four's eyebrows raised upwards. "What did she say?" he asked.

"I'll get to that later. She doesn't know about you. Your name wasn't in the file," I told him.

That didn't seem to be the answer that he wanted. Four leaned into me slightly and grabbed my hand. Sighing softly, I tightened my hold on him. At least I wasn't alone. That was the best part of the entire thing. No matter what happened with Eric or Jeanine, at least I had Four. He was the only person that knew what I was right now and the only one that could help.

"I'd rather her know about me than you," Four said.

I shook my head at him. "Not me. It's a good thing that she doesn't know about you. It makes you our secret weapon. She doesn't know that you're one too. Trust me when I say that I'm glad that it's me," I muttered.

"No. It should be me," Four said determinedly.

Glancing up at him I sighed. "You're a good man, Four," I said sweetly.

He looked over at me and smiled. "Thank you. Hey, don't worry. We're going to take care of this. I promise you that we are," he told me.

"I know."

But that wasn't the truth. I didn't really believe him but there was no need for him to know that. "Okay, keep going. What else is she planning?" Four asked.

Shaking my head softly at Four, l let go of his hand and leaned back in the chair slightly. "It was so much. There was everything in the file. What Divergent's were, why she thought that they were a danger to the Faction system, and how she was planning to eradicate them all," I said and Four grimaced.

It wasn't only us. There were hundreds of Divergent's in Chicago. "Okay... Keep going," Four said. It was obvious that he was trying to keep the hint of fear out of his voice.

"That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part is that she's planning an attack. On all of the Factions," I told him.

That caught Four's attention. His eyes bulged almost comically. "An attack?" he repeated.

"Even without the hunt for Divergent's, she's dangerous. She wants to be at the top of the food chain."

My heart rate was picking up slightly as I remembered everything that was in the file. The new weapons, the attack on the Factions, and everything in between. There was no way in hell that two people were going to be able to stop this. Four clearly understood that I was in a moment of panic.

"Slow down, Alex. Take it slow," he consoled.

"Okay," I muttered, taking a few deep breaths.

"You were saying that she plans on attacking and using all of the Factions," he half-stated and half-questioned.

"Yes," I drawled slowly.

"Take it slow. Tell me about each Faction separately. Start with Dauntless. What is she planning here?" Four asked.

It wasn't a shock that he wanted to know about the one Faction that we could act directly in right now. I should have known he would want to hear about Dauntless first. But this was at least one good thing about this whole issue. It didn't seem that Jeanine Matthews was ready to do anything right now. She needed time before she was actually ready.

"Nothing right now," I said quickly.

I noticed that Four looked a little relieved at my words. "Okay. That's a good thing," he said.

"It looks like the plan that she needs for Dauntless won't be taking place for at least another year. Maybe two. She seems to need some type of compliance serum. Evidently what it does is it works like the fear sim serum. It works on normal people but Divergent's won't feel any effect. It's a way for her to find people like us," I explained.

It seemed that a little hint of recognition flooded through Four's eyes. "You said compliance serum?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Damn it. I voted yes on that. I didn't think that was what they were putting it through for," Four muttered. I raised my eyebrows at him. He was half-muttering it to himself and it probably wasn't really aware that I was listening to him.

But did Four know something about this? "What are you talking about, Four?" I asked.

"They disguised it under use for prisoners. They said that Candor would get full control of the serum. I should have known that if Jeanine Matthews had something to do with it than it was dangerous," Four growled more to himself than me.

Finally getting sick of it I smacked Four on the leg again to make him look at me. He glanced over at me, almost shocked that I was here. He really had forgotten that I was here. He stopped muttering to himself, which was quite a long string of profanities, and glanced up at me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, feeling like his stupid initiate again for the first time in a long time.

Four shifted uncomfortably for a moment. "A few weeks ago some very important people were here discussing new ideas for Chicago. One of the people here was Jack Kang. The representative of Candor," Four explained.

"I know who Jack Kang is," I snapped. That was when I remembered the day that Jack Kang was here. They were all standing up in the Wolf's Den. Had that been what they were talking about? "Was that the day that you were all up on the perch?"

"Yeah. Did you hear us?"

"No, but I saw you."

"He was talking about this serum that Erudite was helping them develop. It was a compliance serum. They said that it was going to be used for prisoners to get them to comply and tell the truth of what they'd done. It comes from this machine that Candor has. They hook people up to it and the serum pumps into their veins. It gets them to tell the truth. It works on everyone. This is just an altered version of that," Four explained.

My head dropped into my knees as I brushed my hair off of my forehead. I nodded slowly, knowing that he was right. But this wasn't as dangerous as the serum that we had right now. This compliance serum would make Dauntless soldiers mindless killing machines. And it would reveal every Divergent in Dauntless that was still alive. Eventually it would be able to reveal every Divergent that was in Chicago. We had to stop this.

"This is good though. It isn't ready yet. We have to strike at her before she can mass produce this thing," I told Four.

He nodded, clearly in agreement. "You're right about that," Four said.

"It'll actually make someone follow orders?" I asked to clarify.

When Four nodded at me, I let out a long breath and shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. That wasn't good. If she could make Dauntless follow orders we were literally fucked. This was a time sensitive matter. We had to get to her before she could put this plan into motion.

"That's the idea. Right now I don't think it's always successful. That's probably why Jeanine has given herself a two year buffer to get these things in mass production," Four reasoned.

"That's good, right?"

"It gives us time. But that doesn't mean that she won't be doing little things with it in the meantime. This is still a time sensitive manner. The sooner that we can stop this, the better," Four said.

"And I only have a month before Jeanine will reveal what I am," I muttered under my breath.

Four took my hand tightly. "A month is plenty of time for us to figure out what we want to do," he said, giving me a reassuring smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I get it now," I said suddenly.

Four looked up from his lap to look at me. "What do you get?" he asked.

"Jeanine also had planned out an attack on Candor," I told Four, whose eyes widened.

"Candor?" Four asked.

"A small one, not noticeable by anyone. And by the time that they can come forward and admit what happened it will be too late. Candor is going to have control of this serum. Jeanine wants it to find the Divergent's. That's why she must have pushed this through. She's influenced Jack Kang," I said softly.

Four nodded blankly at me as I spoke and explained the plan that Jeanine was making, and had already started. The more that I spoke about this matter the more that I realized just how deep this plan went. She must have been planning this since she was a child. A plan like this took years of careful planning. I couldn't believe that she had actually managed to do all of this with only minimal help from others.

"She's good like that. Everyone knows that Jeanine is cold and manipulative but very few doubt that she doesn't have the best interest for Chicago at heart," Four said.

I snorted loudly. "She does _not_ have Chicago's best interest at heart," I snarled.

"We know that she doesn't. But they don't. There has to be a way that we can show them," Four said, more to himself than me.

"There is," I answered quickly.

Four glanced up at me as if expecting me to have a grand and marvelous plan. And I had anything but a marvelous plan. "What are you thinking?" Four asked.

"If we go with what I'm thinking it means that at least one of us has to be ready to show the world what we are. I'm ready to do that. Are you?" I asked Four, already knowing what his answer would be.

"Of course," Four said, without hesitation.

I smiled gratefully at him. "There was one other thing that I saw on the file," I told Four.

"Go on," he said, nodding at me to continue.

"She's planning to use the serum on the Dauntless soldiers. All of us. It will unveil who the Divergent are. The rest are going to go and attack Abnegation."

As expected, Four's eyes became a mix of nerves and anger. "To do what?" he asked.

"Abnegation controls the government. They wouldn't stand for the slaughter of innocents. Even if they were Divergent. With them out of the way Jeanine takes over Chicago," I answered.

Honestly that was more of something that I was taking a guess with. It wasn't like the attack on Abnegation and Candor had been explicitly in the file, but I was no moron. I knew that that was what Jeanine was hoping for. And it was what she was going to get soon enough if we did nothing.

"And the Dauntless soldiers take the fall for it," Four muttered.

"Exactly," I said.

That was exactly what I had been thinking. "Jeanine gets what she wants when she steps in to end the fight. She becomes the leader of the government, Dauntless are out of her way when they get locked up, and the Divergent's become eradicated," he mumbled.

"Exactly," I repeated softly.

The more that we talked about this the worse off that we sounded. Every time I thought about how deep this plan ran I realized just how pathetically outnumbered and outwitted I was. Unsurprisingly, Four dropped his head into his hands and I leaned back in the chair, letting him mull over the information I'd just fed him. It was a lot to take in at one time.

"You're right, Alex. This isn't good. None of this is good," Four said and I nodded.

I didn't need Four to tell me that. I had known that this wasn't good since the moment that Tori told me that my test results were inconclusive. "I know," I mumbled.

"We can't wait until this is ready to go. The best thing that we can do is strike now," Four said.

I nodded in agreement. He was right. We needed to take care of this now. "And how do we do that?" I asked.

"I'm not sure yet. We take a few weeks to figure this out. While Jeanine's plan is still in the development phase and she is still vulnerable we can attack. She won't see it coming," Four explained.

And he was right. We both knew that this was something that we needed to get done before Jeanine could make anymore progress in her attack. If we could strike sooner rather than later she wouldn't be expecting a retaliation. Especially since she believed that I was alone without any help.

"No, she won't. And she thinks that I'm alone. I know that there's only two of us but two heads is better than one. And we're strong. Together, with planning, we can win this thing. We can stop her," I said softly.

I wasn't really sure if I was saying it for Four's sake or my own but I knew that we both appreciated it. "Absolutely. I'm with you, Alex. No matter what I'm with you," Four promised.

I smiled and squeezed his hand quickly. "Thank you, Four," I said happily.

No matter what I would at least have one person in my corner. And I needed everyone that I could get. "Now tell me, what was said at the meeting yesterday?" Four asked.

There was next to nothing that was actually said other than threatening me. "Mostly a whole lot of nothing. Nothing really important anyways. Mostly just threatening me and telling me that they knew who I was. But there was one thing that they told me that threw me. They want me in Erudite. Right after the final Fear Landscape at eight o'clock that night," I said.

Four raised his eyebrows. This was the one part of his plan that I didn't understand. "What do they want?" Four asked.

"I don't really know. If I don't go they kill everyone that I care about. You included. Jeanine said that she needed me to see something. That I was the key," I muttered softly.

Four's eyebrows knitted to turn his face into a scowl as he thought about what what it was that Jeanine could want me to see. I understood. I had no damn clue what it was that Jeanine needed me for. She hated the Divergent. She thought that we were dangerous. So why not just kill me? What was it that she so desperately needed me to see?

"You have no idea what this thing was that she was talking about?" Four asked.

"No clue," I said, dropping back into the chair. Four sighed at me. Whatever it was that she wanted from me it certainly wasn't good.

The look on Four's face told me that he was completely beside himself about this entire thing. Not that I blamed him. He had been hoping that I would know whatever it was that Jeanine wanted me to see. I was sure that I wanted to know just as bad as he did. Probably more so.

"Something that she apparently needs me for. She said that she doesn't want me dead right now. She needs me for whatever this thing is," I told Four.

His brows furrowed once more and I rubbed the palms of my hands into my eyes. It was times like this that made me wish that I was just like my friends; happy and unaware of what was going on around me. It would have been nice to be ignorant to the problems of the world for a day or two. But this was also a good thing. I could put a stop to the war before it began.

"That's a good thing. It means that we can keep you safe for at least another month while we figure this thing out. Alex, you're not going there alone," Four said.

My heart gave a little skip. "Absolutely not. You are not going out there to die for me. We can -"

Four cut over me before I could argue my point anymore with him. "I don't give a damn what Jeanine Matthews said. You're more than my initiate. You are my friend," Four said.

I couldn't help but to smile. "You're my friend, too," I said softly.

"I'm not going to sit by and watch you potentially walk to your slaughter. Give me a few weeks. We come up with a plan and we keep you safe," he promised.

"Thank you, Four," I said softly.

I leaned up to the edge of my chair and grabbed Four's shoulders, bringing him in for a hug. His arms were tight around me and I gently pushed my face down into his shoulder. This wasn't just a hug from a friend or a hug from a lover. It was a hug from someone that would lay down their life to protect mine. We stayed wrapped together for a few minutes.

I was absolutely positive that Four could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't want to admit it - to him or myself - but I was afraid. I was scared beyond belief of what was to come. I was afraid to lose myself to this plan. I was even more afraid to lose myself to Jeanine. I was not a cruel person. I didn't want to be a cruel person. There was a difference between cruelty and bravery. But I had to push that out of my mind and figure out a way to end this.

"Do you really think that we can do this alone?" I asked Four as I pulled away from him.

He was silent for a long moment and I knew that he was debating on whether or not he should bring anyone with us. It would be best to keep this between ourselves but it would be easier with another person. I knew that it was better that we did this alone. I didn't want to risk anyone else's life for this. Four's life was bad enough.

"We're going to have to," Four said.

"Yeah. I figured that much."

"I know of other members that are Divergent. I've found a few. But the more people that we keep out of this the better off that they are. Jeanine needs to know about as few people as possible."

"Okay," I said.

I wanted to ask who it was that he had found but I knew that it was better not to ask. The less of them that I knew the better. "Is there anyone that you would even trust to help?" Four asked.

There were plenty of people that I had a feeling that we would be able to trust. Some were Dauntless and some were from other Factions. I thought back on everyone that I knew. None of the people that I could ask would make sense to get involved. I wasn't willing to risk their lives. I wasn't even sure if some of them would believe me.

"Maybe... Zeke, Tori, Cameron, any of the initiates," I said softly. Four looked unconvinced. "But I won't risk their lives. The leaders, they all must be in on it. We can't ask them. People in the other Factions would be stupid. They either won't believe us or we risk Jeanine finding out what we're planning to do."

We had the element of surprise right now. It wasn't something that we could risk losing. "You're right about that," Four said.

"It might be harder but... it's gotta just be us, Four," I said softly.

It meant that there was a damn good chance that one or both of us would die. Two people against a plan that had been in the making for years. Two people that had only known about it in its entirety for only a few minutes. We were so royally fucked. But I knew that, at this point, we were both already willing to risk our lives for this.

"You're right. This doesn't go past us," Four said. It was a minute before Four spoke up again, looking extremely guilty. "Alex... Eric -"

I cut Four off before he could say anything more. I didn't want to know what Four had to say where Eric was concerned. "I know, Four. Trust me, I know. I've been through this a million times with myself. I already know that Eric is working with her. I still trust that he's a good man. I trust that he doesn't truly understand what he's gotten into. But I also know that he's going to be there that night. I know that the minute that he finds out what I am everything that we've built between the two of us will break. I'm not a fool to think that Eric will change because of me," I explained.

Four looked pained at my words. He treated me like a sibling and I assumed that whenever he saw me hurting, it hurt him as well. Even if it was over Eric, someone that he had never liked before. I was a little pained to say it too. I really did like Eric and I didn't want our thing to end. I didn't want it to end, but I knew that it would.

"I need you to do something for me," I said.

"Okay."

"Just never think that Eric is truly evil. I've seen more to him than maybe anyone but Cameron. He's not the monster that you think he is," I said softly.

The conversation had taken a turn that I wasn't expecting, but now that it had I wanted to run with it. I wanted to know that Eric was more than the man that shot me in the stomach with a sim dart. He was more than the man that had accidentally thrown me off of the Chasm. Maybe I sounded insane, but I genuinely believed that he was a good man.

"I know he's not, Alex. I know that he isn't," Four said.

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes. You aren't an idiot. You wouldn't be with someone genuinely bad. Eric might be able to change. I don't believe that it's too late for him."

If I had been drinking something it would have gone all over Four's face. Had he really just told me that he didn't believe that it was too late for Eric? I would have thought that Four would never trust the leader. He seemed to always hate Eric and everything about him. I shook my head free of those thoughts. I would rather run with what Eric had said.

"It doesn't matter. None of that matters. All that matters right now is we figure out a plan for the two of us. Someone's gotta stop Jeanine. And even if it means that I die, it doesn't matter. As long as I stop her," I snarled, meaning every word.

Four clearly didn't like what I'd said. His eyes narrowed and he looked like might smack me. "You are not going to die. Not as long as I have my eye on you," he explained.

I smiled and grabbed him in a hug once more. "Thank you," I whispered.

We may have started out on a rocky road, but we were in this together now. "Just don't do anything stupid. Tell me what you're planning. We can both get out of this. We just have to work together," he said.

"Of course," I said, nodding at him.

"Go, you've had a long night. Get some rest. Try not to think about this for right now. We're gonna figure this out, Alex," Four said.

"Trust me when I say that I know we will," I said sharply.

The two of us smiled at each other as I gave him another hug, one that we stayed in for a while. Four helped me up from the chair and I walked over towards the door to the fear sim room, turning to leave, praying silently that he was right. As the door closed behind me I turned to the Dauntless member halls and headed towards the one person that might have been more dangerous to me than Jeanine Matthews.

Present Day...

"Alright initiates, head to lunch," Four called.

I was startled out of my reverie by Four's voice. It had to have been the fifth or sixth time I'd thought about that conversation just since I had woken up this morning. Most of the times my mind was preoccupied with training or something of the likes but when I sat here with nothing to do but wait, it was the only think that I could think about.

"We'll start with Greg when you get back," Four told us.

We all nodded and stood to head to lunch. I walked out with Greg, Jax, Michael, Dante, Jackson, Draven, and Aaron. I almost smiled as I realized that I was the only girl this high up in the rankings. Heather was the only other girl in the top ten. It would still keep her safe from Fence duty, which made me happy. If I did manage to live through all of this, I wanted her to be around to hang out with me. As we left the sim room I let out a little breath.

Unfortunately Four and I really hadn't made any progress at all in a plan. That was even an exaggeration. We had made absolutely no headway in making a plan. Every time that one of us came up with something akin to a plan the other one would say that it didn't make any sense. Neither one of us were willing to risk the others life and each plan very well meant that one of us was going to die. We hadn't come up with a happy medium yet.

The closest thing that we had come up with was an ambush. But I wasn't really sure that two people rather than one could be considered an ambush. We weren't sure how many guards Jeanine was going to have with her. If she had twenty guards we would barely be able to take down one of them before being caught and killed ourselves. Four had once offered to come with me at eight o'clock, but I had shot that down quickly.

There was no way that I was going to risk Jeanine knowing that Four was a Divergent as well. We had even thought about things as insane as assassination. But all that would do was get us thrown in prison or killed ourselves. We needed actual proof that Jeanine was doing something. And blackmail could backfire on us easily. I was glad that the final fear landscape was still a month away. We needed that time to get a real plan together. Right now we were hopelessly lost.

I walked into the kitchen with my friends and grabbed myself a piece of steak. It was rare that they actually had it and the sight of the meat made my mouth water. I couldn't believed that I had lasted as long as I did as a vegetarian back in Amity. Meat was so good. As I walked back out to the table I saw that both Eric and Cameron were speaking with another leader.

They looked to be incredibly bored. I flashed both men a wink, the other leader not noticing anything awry. Cameron grinned back at me and flashed me a cheesy wink back. The leader was focused on a paper in his hands. Eric remained stony-faced but I knew that he was amused. I saw the corners of his mouth quirk up. It made my heart flutter a bit, knowing that I could do little things like that and still amuse him. I grabbed my tray with a smile and walked over to the table.

"Hey, girl," Heather greeted as I took a seat next to her.

"Hey, Heather."

She leaned in to whisper to me and I leaned a little closer. "You going to spend the night with your man again or come with us?" she asked.

Grinning at her, I cut off a piece of steak and popped it into my mouth. Heather was drinking a blue liquid that had a strange smell to it. It reminded me of the liquid that we drank for the sims. "Since I've only spent the night with him once this week I think that I might spend the night with him tonight," I told her honestly, hoping that she didn't want to do something.

It turned out that she definitely didn't want to do anything with me tonight. She grinned in what I assumed was relief and placed down the cup that she had been nervously fidgeting with. "Oh, good," Heather sighed.

Smiling at her I adopted a teasing note to my voice. "Oh I'm so glad to see that you enjoy my company, Heather," I told her with a raised brow.

Her eyes widened as she shook her head at me. "Oh, that wasn't what I meant!" Heather shouted.

I smiled at her. I knew that wasn't what she'd meant. "I'm just teasing you," I said.

"Asshole."

"Need the place to yourself?" I asked.

"I've been spending lunch so far trying to get everyone to go elsewhere tonight. It's Cole's birthday and I wanted to get to spend it with just him," she said.

"That's sweet of you," I said happily.

They made such a cute couple. I didn't even know when Eric's birthday was. "So far everyone's been really good," she said.

Grinning at her, I held up my hands in a defensive position. "Then you have my word that I won't come back to the dorms tonight," I promised.

She smiled gratefully at me. I was pretty sure that no one would want to come and interrupt their evening together. It was also absolutely perfect timing. I could spend the night with Eric without anyone asking me any questions and Heather would get to have a night alone with Cole. It was a win-win for both of us.

"You're sure that no one else is going to be making a surprise appearance?" I asked.

Heather nodded. "Some of the boys are just going to stay with the Dauntless born, but I'm sure. No one is coming back to the dorms tonight," she said. I wasn't sure how she managed it with Jade but good for her.

"Nice planning. I didn't know that today was Cole's birthday. What are you gonna do for him?" I asked.

A small blush flooded her cheeks and I tilted my head to the side. Was she embarrassed about what she was doing for him? Maybe I shouldn't have asked her. But curiosity tended to get the best of me and I really did want to know what she was doing. I would have never known what to do for Eric.

"Honestly, Alex, I feel so stupid. I have no idea what Cole likes," she admitted.

I smiled at her. So that was her problem. She felt bad that she didn't know what Cole would like. Honestly I was the same way with Eric. I knew that it was a good thing that we didn't celebrate each other's birthdays. I had no idea what he would want if it were his birthday. Probably sex. Lots of it and however he wanted.

"I feel like I should try to make this birthday special," Heather said.

"You're going to make it something special. As long as it's coming from you, it'll be special," I comforted her.

It's his first birthday in the Faction that he really feels like he belongs in and I want to try to plan something but he's been around all day. I can't get away for a second to try and plan something nice," she complained.

And that was when I understood her problem. She needed Cole away from her for a few hours. I had an idea. "Here's a hint sweetie. Cole likes you! It doesn't matter what you do or get him for his birthday. As long as you're there that's all that matters," I told her.

She smiled weakly at me. "I suppose that you're right," she said.

"I know that I am. Just spend the night with him. Talk about how different this past year has made the two of you. Enjoy the time that you have together. If that's not enough there's a restaurant buried in the back of the Pit called Defying. It's good," I explained, remembering the meal that I'd had there.

Just because it was Damien that had taken me there didn't mean that I had to knock the place. It had actually had really good food. And the atmosphere was pretty. I was sure that Heather and Cole would appreciate a romantic evening together. Maybe one day Eric would get around to taking me there. _Yeah, right_.

"Thanks, Alex. Now I just need to get him out of the dorms for a little while so I can make it look a little more festive," she said.

Laughing under my breath, I smiled at her. The gray stone walls of the dorms were anything but festive. "There's got to be something that you can find in the stores," I said.

"Not that I don't appreciate everything that Dauntless has done for us but these dorms are something awful. I need to do something about them. I'd ask for your help but I know that you still have to do your fear sim," she said.

Maybe I couldn't directly help but I knew some things that I could do to make things a little easier on her. "Leave it to me. I've got help lined up for you," I told Heather.

Heather raised an eyebrow as I turned back to the table where the Dauntless born were sitting. They were chatting loudly with each other and laughing hysterically. Even though we were all friends now we still usually sat away from each other. It was just how we had all gotten comfortable.

"What are you doing?" Heather asked.

"Hush. Serena, Lisa!" I called.

Both girls glanced up and came over when I motioned to them. "Hey, Alex," Lisa greeted happily.

"What's up?" Serena asked.

I leaned in slightly. The boys were glancing over at us and I didn't want them to hear. "Okay, listen. It's Heather's boyfriend's birthday today and we're trying to do something nice. We need him out of the dorms all day. I got that covered. But I need you guys to help her get the dorms a little nicer. I mean, they're hideous," I said.

Serena nodded and gave me a bright smile. I couldn't help but to smile back at her. Serena and I still bickered from time to time but we were getting along much better these days. Thankfully both girls seemed like they were willing to help. That was what I had been banking on.

"Not a problem. Tell your boyfriend happy birthday from us," Lisa told Heather.

"Of course," she said.

"We can get some decorations. Living in Dauntless for so long means that we have tons of built up points. We can get you guys some stuff to make the dorms look nicer," Lisa offered.

Heather smiled brightly as I turned to the boys. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," I could hear Heather thanking Lisa and Serena.

In the meantime, the boys had gone back to their own conversations. "Perfect. I'll handle getting Cole out of the dorms," I told Heather.

"What are you -?" she started before I cut her off, turning back to our male friends.

"Hey, Cole!" I yelled.

He turned back to me and smiled. "What's up, Alex?" he asked.

"I didn't know that it was your birthday," I said loudly.

Suddenly all of our friends, including the Dauntless born, were on top of Cole, punching him and asking why he hadn't told them that it was his birthday. That had been exactly what I was hoping for. Lisa, Serena, and Heather all started laughing at their reactions. I grinned and winked at Heather.

"Go and take him to do something! You only turn seventeen once!" I yelled to the boys.

It was only a moment later that they had practically lifted him from the bench to bring him to do something that would probably end up getting him kicked out of Dauntless. I really hoped that they weren't going to make him dye his hair red or something. At least I had gotten Cole out of the way for them.

"Thanks for that," Heather told me.

"No problem," I said, leaning in to give her a hug.

"You ladies ready?" Heather asked, turning to the two Dauntless born girls.

"Absolutely!" Lisa chirped.

"Let's do it," Serena said brightly.

"You gonna be alright?" Heather asked, turning back to me. "I feel bad just leaving you here."

The others had already stalked off. If they left it would leave me alone at the table. Not that I really minded. I could use some time for peace and quiet. I shook my head at Heather and finished off the last piece of my steak. It was almost time for me to get back to training anyways.

"No worries. I'm gonna go head back to the fear sim room and wait for Four. Not like I really have anything else to do," I told her.

"You're sure?" Heather asked.

"Of course. You enjoy the night with your man and I'll enjoy the night with mine. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm gonna have dinner out. I don't really think any of us are going to be in the dining room anyways," I said.

Of course that meant that I was going to steal something from Eric's refrigerator. Unfortunately the food in his apartment was pretty limited. For all of the things that Eric was good at, cooking was not one of them. He wasn't awful, but he certainly wasn't my mother. I would figure something out. Heather nodded at me and smiled, knowing what I meant.

"Wait a second. Who's your man?" Serena asked, before they could leave.

I smiled at her. She looked more curious than anything and I couldn't help but to laugh. I wondered how insane she would think that I was if I told her that it was Eric. Even Heather seemed to think from time to time that I was crazy. I noticed that it had even captured Lisa's attention. Everyone was dying to know who it was that I had been seeing.

"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you," I told her.

Serena and Lisa both laughed and shook their heads. Heather smirked to herself. She knew that I was almost telling the truth. No one could ever know about Eric and I. By the time that I would actually be allowed to tell people about us, he would hate me. I stood from the table at the same times as my friends and headed straight back to the fear sim room. Only Greg and Michael were already there. I dropped into the seat closest to the door as Four walked in.

He seemed a little surprised to see me but he said nothing about it. Not that he could. We were supposed to be nothing more than an initiate and a trainer. But we were so much more. I leaned back against the seat just like I had earlier and closed my eyes, thinking about what exactly it was that I could be facing in my next fear.

I had a feeling that Jeanine was going to be involved in another one after everything that I had discovered lately. I found myself no longer nervous about people seeing in my fears that I had to kill Jeanine. I didn't give a damn that Jeanine knew that I was Divergent. All I cared about was stopping Jeanine's plans in their tracks. She was not going to kill one more of us. I wasn't sure how I could do it without Four or I dying, but I was going to figure it out. Sacrifice was not in my plans.

No matter what happened I was not going to let Four sacrifice himself. Not for me and not for this stupid plan. He was not going to die. Not even for this cause. Not after everything that he had done for me. I would have been dead long ago if not for him. He was going to get the chance to live a full life. I wished that he realized that he didn't have to do this with me. But I knew that he would. No matter what the sacrifice, I knew that Four was going to do this with me.

He cared about this cause as much as I did. Maybe even more. I knew that he watched closely for Divergent's. They had been a part of his life for at least four years, since he had found out that he was one during his own initiation. Like me, we both knew that we had to protect the rest of our kind. Especially since no one else was going to do it.

It wasn't the first time in the past week that I found myself wondering what I could do to keep the Divergent's safe. The answer was almost nothing. I didn't even know who most of them were. In fact, other than Four and I, I didn't know who any of them were. Not really. Apparently Four knew some of them but he didn't want to drag them into the fight.

There were a few plans that I could think of, but like with the plan to attack Jeanine, all of my plans ended terribly. My mind kept jumping to the question of whether or not Eric would really be there that night. I wondered if the moment that he saw me he would take it upon himself to kill me. He certainly might. He hated the Divergent's. But did that mean that he could also hate me? It was a question that I might not get an answer to for some time.

I wanted to know what it was that Jeanine wanted me to see. It had to be something powerful or else she wouldn't have seemed so concerned at the meeting. I wanted to think that I would be able to tell Eric what I was. I wanted to think that he would either save or protect me. But he wouldn't. I knew that. I just hoped that one day, no matter what happened to me, he would be able to make the right choice. He was a good man. I knew that he was.

The door opened to the sim room and I smiled at Aaron as he left. "Alex?" Four called.

I glanced around and saw that no one else was in the room. I was a little surprised. I hadn't been thinking that he would be anywhere near ready for me. Of course when I started thinking about everything with Jeanine time seemed to fly by. My month of normalcy remaining was slipping by fast.

"Oh. Time already?" I asked.

"Come on," Four said, when he realized that I wasn't moving.

"Okay," I muttered, standing from the seat.

I walked into the sim room and took my normal seat next to the computer monitor. "You alright?" Four asked.

I glanced over at him. "Why?" I asked.

"I noticed that you were here early."

For once I hadn't come early because there was a problem with something. The only reason that I was early was because I had nothing better to do. I smiled and nodded at him, slipping the jacket off of my shoulders. I was getting a little warm with the anticipation of the next fear sim.

"Yeah. Heather wanted to do something for Cole's birthday so I sent her on her way with some Dauntless born girls. Got the boys to take Cole and keep him out of the dorms for the night. Figured that I had nothing better to do so I might as well come back here and wait. Someone should be having fun. Even if that someone isn't me," I said.

The last part had been a little more bitter than I had meant for it to come out. Four smiled, knowing that I wished that sometimes I was a normal initiate. It would certainly make things easier. But it might make things more boring too. And I liked a bit of excitement in my life. Even if that made it a little more dangerous.

"You do a lot for your friends for someone that has a million other things to worry about," Four said.

I smiled again. He was right and I knew that. But that that was exactly the reason that I did it. "I know. I just feel like I should act normal for as long as I possibly can. The time is coming soon that everyone is going to be able to see me for what I am," I muttered.

Four nodded at me, getting the serum filled into the vial. "You're right about that," he said.

It only reminded me that somewhere out there was a compliance serum in its early phases of production under a guise that was nothing close to what it would really be used for. It made me a little sick to know that I was just sitting here when I could have been doing something much more important with my time.

"I guess I want to make these last few weeks be the ones that they remember. I don't want them to think that I was just a Divergent. I want them to remember their friend," I said softly.

Four came to stand in front of me. He had his arms crossed over his chest. "And Eric?" Four asked.

The smile faded from my face and I shook my head. He knew that any conversation about Eric was a sore spot with me. Especially since I didn't know how he was going to react. It made me want to shut down, mostly because I didn't really want to deal with Eric knowing that I was a Divergent.

"Nothing. I don't know," I moaned with a little sigh.

"Come on, Alex," Four goaded gently.

"Part of me wants to think that after he realizes what I am he'll remember me the way that I am now. But I know that once he knows what I am he's going to treat me the same way that Jeanine does. Cold. Like I'm just the means to an end," I said honestly.

"Alex -" Four started before I cut him off. I didn't want to be patronized.

"It's fine, Four. I know that it's coming. I'm just enjoying it for now," I said.

Shaking his head at me, Four sealed the vile and I watched as he flicked at the tip of the needle a few times. I shivered and pulled my hair back off of my neck. I hated this part. Maybe one day my fears would actually involve needles. They weren't the worst things in the world, but I definitely didn't like them.

"I don't think you have to Alex," Four said.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I think that you might be underestimating the man that Eric really is," Four said.

My eyebrows shot to my head at Four's words. Once, not too long ago, Four had warned me to stay far away from Eric. And I had almost wanted to try and avoid Eric. I had known that he was as dangerous as Four told me. Now he was telling me that I might be thinking that Eric was a worse person than he really was. So which version of Four could I listen to?

"Weren't you once telling me that you thought that Eric might be more dangerous than I gave him credit for?" I asked Four.

He merely smiled at me. "I did, once upon a time," Four said.

"I could have sworn that not too long ago you were telling me that Eric wasn't one to be trusted," I told him in a half-serious and half-teasing voice.

Four merely grinned and shook his head as he walked over to me with the needle. "People can change. So can minds," he said.

"I'm glad to hear that," I whispered.

The two of us exchanged a small smile as I shook my head. I wasn't sure whether or not Four was telling the truth but I appreciated it nonetheless. He grabbed the syringe in his hand and brought it over to me. I leaned back in the chair and felt the familiar sharp pang of the needle piercing my skin. At least a tattoo gave you something fun afterwards. This was pretty much a nightmare the entire time.

"Alright. Don't worry about it. Get in and out of there as fast as you can. We still have to hide what you are at the end. Don't forget. Jeanine and Max know what you are but the others don't," Four said.

"Got it."

He pushed down the plunger and I fell. When I woke up I was in a strange white room. I was certain that I had never been here before. At least my snake fear seemed to be over. But this didn't seem to be anything good. With the blink of an eye I saw that the room that I was standing in was suddenly flooded by the faces of people that I knew and loved.

All of the transfers. The Dauntless born. My family. Zeke. Cameron. Tori. Eric. Iris. Florian. Even Damien was there. Skylar and Raven, who were now Factionless, were here. Jade, Hunter, and Colt were here. The only person that wasn't here was Four. They were all standing around me in a circle and I sucked in a breath. This wasn't good. What the hell were they all doing here? It made it even worse that none of them looked happy to see me. They were all standing with blank looks on their faces.

My breath had caught in my throat as I stared at them all. I tried to call out to them but it was like my voice wasn't even working anymore. The more that I tried to scream to them the tighter that my throat became. The stony looks on their faces had turned taunting as I spun around, waiting for one of them to speak.

"Alex," Heather finally called out.

I turned to her in relief. "Heather. What's -?"

"What are you even doing here?" she interrupted.

There was another tightening in my throat. This time I knew that I wouldn't be able to speak. I put a hand to my throat but nothing come out. I was powerless to say anything. I wanted to scream at her but my voice still wasn't working. It seemed that I was just going to be a prisoner to listen to them. No matter how hard I fought, my voice was frozen in my throat. I had no idea what I was doing here. I couldn't really even remember how I had gotten here.

"She doesn't mean in this room," Tori said. I turned to look at her. She was standing next to Jade. The two looked cruel and cold. "She means in Dauntless."

How could Tori say something like that? Not long ago she had told me that she thought that I had what it took to make it here in Dauntless. Now she was telling me that I didn't belong here. That was a damn lie. I knew it was. I belonged in Dauntless. It was the only place that I belonged. I opened my mouth to argue with her, but I still couldn't find my voice.

"You aren't one of us," Draven called. I spun to the other side of the room to look at him. He was giving me his signature smile. It had never looked so menacing. "No matter how hard you try to be."

The others in the room joined in on the laughter and I felt my heart lodge in my throat. These were my friends. The people that I counted as my family. "They're right," Mom said. I turned to stare at her with teary eyes. Her stomach was slightly swollen with my baby sister. "You're never going to be one of them. Not really. Not while you keep the secret of who you really are."

She didn't know my secret. Not in reality. But it seemed that everyone else did. They all laughed again as the tears began to build in my eyes. But I was not going to let them fall. This was a fear sim. It wasn't real. But it seemed so real. They seemed so real. I tried to speak once more but my words still stuck in my throat. How did I get out of this?

"Tell us, are you ashamed yet?" Buck asked.

I turned to face him. This wasn't Buck. My Buck would never say something like that. He was my friend. My sometimes serious and completely foolish friend. This wasn't any of them. But it felt real. Their insults certainly felt like real knives were stabbing me. Because they knew that these were the things that cut the deepest for me. And they were using them against me.

"Do you feel like a fool yet?" Cameron asked.

He sent me a sly wink, just like the one that I had sent him a few hours ago. All it did was add insult to injury. The moment the next voice spoke I nearly closed my eyes. The last thing that I wanted to do was to hear him speak. To hear him tell me how cowardly I was. But I turned towards him anyways.

"Because the poor, pathetic little Amity got in over her head?" Eric asked. I cringed slightly. "You're in the big leagues now. And look at you. All alone. Not even your little friends are here to help. You're gonna die. Alone. With no friends. No one that even cares that you're gone."

Maybe he was right. Maybe no one would care. "He's right, Alex," Dad called. I turned back and shook my head at him. This wasn't him. He would never say something like that. He had one arm wrapped around Mom and they were looking at me like I was nothing more than the speck of dirt on the bottom of their shoes. "None of us really care about you. Your mother and I, we have a new child coming. And they're going to be better than you. It isn't a hard feat."

I could feel my heart shatter. I was more than this. No one argued with him. They all just continued to smile. "Your own best friend doesn't even want to be around you right now," Cole said. I spun once more to face him. My head was spinning from the barrage of insults and any second now I felt like I might vomit. "She cares about me now. Not you."

It was easy enough to see Heather nod her agreement. That wasn't true. It couldn't be true. They were both my friends. They both still cared about me. I knew that it was the truth. But right now I was having a hard time trying to convince myself that this wasn't real. That it was just a sim. It just felt like so much more.

"And it's somewhere between cute and pathetic that you think that we still care about you," Iris said.

I swung around to face her and immediately paled. She had always had a know-it-all look about her but it had never bothered me. Not until now. Florian was standing at her side and he threw an arm over her shoulder. They were together now. They didn't need me anymore.

"Do you want to know when the last time was that we thought about our little Amity friend?" Florian asked. The same Florian that had once shared my bed. "Never. Not since we've left Amity. You're hanging on to the past. When the past has long forgotten about you."

The jeer felt even worse coming from people that I had loved for all of my life. People that I had always counted as family. Even now, when we only saw each other one day out of the year. The next voice piped up and it made me wish that I had a gun on me. There was absolutely nothing that I could use to defend myself with. Not that they were attacking me. Not physically anyways.

"Do you feel weak yet, Amity?" Jade asked. Never once had I felt weak in her presence. Not until right now.

My voice was still constricted tightly. "Do you wish that I'd killed you that night?" Colt asked.

Standing next to his brother was the man that I would have been more than happy to never have to see again. "Do you regret ever giving me a second chance?" Damien asked. Of course I did. The only good that came from it was Eric. "Do you regret coming to my room the night after he threw you over the Chasm? You didn't at the time." He was right. I had sought physical comfort. And it was stupid. I had never thought that he would betray me the way that he did. "Do you remember what a fool you felt like that night? You had real feelings for me. It was cute. But it was even more pathetic."

Unfortunately he was right. It was pathetic. I had fallen for his sweet words and pretty eyes. "Do you remember losing to me?" a deeper voice called. I turned to Hunter and paled. "Do you remember feeling your bones break underneath me? Do you want to feel that again?

 _No_. My head was spinning with a mix of the harsh words and twisting motions and for a moment I wished that Four would pull me from the sim. At any moment I was sure that I was going to collapse to the ground. I wasn't sure what I could do to end it. I was having a problem continuing to tell myself that it wasn't real.

"Look around you, Alex. No one here wants you. Not them," Raven said, motioning to the Dauntless born.

"She would have been better off here," Jet said.

There was a little stab of guilt at the memory of Raven leaving and standing in Jet's arms for as long as possible. It wasn't just me. There were others that had pushed her down the rankings board. He had been one of them. I hadn't wanted her to leave. Those were just the rules of Dauntless. That wasn't my fault.

"But she had to leave. She would be better in your spot. Anyone would, actually," Jet continued.

Maybe that was the truth. Maybe someone else should have been in my spot. But there had to be a reason that I was still here. His words sent another shock of hurt through my stomach. I had fought hard and earned my spot in Dauntless. Be damned what anyone else thought. Of course, I cared what they thought. They were still my friends.

"Even me," Skylar added to Jet's last thought.

"Look at us, Alex," Aaron called, the first Dauntless born to speak. "You'll never be like us. You'll never be like any of them. Because you aren't." The worst part was that they were all eerily calm. He was right. I was different from every person surrounding me. And Jeanine Matthews was going to be sure that I never forgot that. "That first place spot that you have. Why do you think that you have it? Not because you've earned it."

Maybe I hadn't earned it. Maybe the only reason that I was so high ranked was because of the Divergence. "You haven't. And you know it," Jackson said, like he was able to read my mind. "You're an Amity hiding in Dauntless clothing. Look at that new tattoo on your back." The laughter in the room roared once more. Tori seemed to find it the most amusing. "Even when you're here, so close to the end, to being a true Dauntless, you're still loyal to them."

That didn't mean that I was loyal to them. I could be loyal to every Faction. That didn't make me the villain. But that was exactly why I was Divergent. Because I could think like that and not think that I was doing something terrible.

"It's pathetic really. I've never seen someone with so much potential fall so fast. Look at you. You tell yourself that you're so brave. But what keep you up at night? Fear that you're going to die," Lisa added flippantly.

It wasn't fear that I was going to die. It was fear that I was going to fail. Fear that Four was going to die. But never that I was going to die. The only reason I hadn't settled on a suicide mission was because Four hadn't allowed it. "Do you remember that night, after Capture the Flag, when you went to the zip line?" Serena asked. Seeing that I was still mute I merely nodded at her. "I told you to be careful and not splatter yourself across the wall at the end. I wish you had. I bet you do too."

I wanted to fix what was wrong with the Faction system. "Are you ready to die?" the remaining Dauntless born asked me in unison. If it was going to happen, I was ready for it. "It's coming."

"Do you feel stupid yet?" Dante asked, changing the mood in the room once more.

His voice carried its normal teasing lilt to it and his eyes were bright with mischief. Dante, who had once kicked me in the head during a sparring match and had apologized for hours, was now looking at me like I was his next meal. Another voice called out to me and I spun once more. It seemed like in the past few minutes the people in the room had all come a few steps closer to me. Everything was closing in on me.

"You should," Jax snarled.

I tried to call out to them once more but my throat was still closed. It felt like someone had poured a bottle of liquid glue down my throat and it had hardened. A friendly laugh came from the other side of the circle and I turned back. It was Zeke. He was giving me a small smile and I wanted to fall to the ground at the sight of him. Zeke had always been so supportive of me. And now here he was, tearing me down.

"Look at you. Thinking for a second that you can save yourself. It's too late," he said.

And just like that the air shifted in the room once more. All of the people in my life silenced themselves. Their laughing faces had turned stone cold and the air seemed to frost over. It made me feel even more nervous than I was before. I felt my heart pounding in my chest.

"Number one ranked initiate," a far too familiar voice spoke softly. I turned to see none other than Jeanine Matthews in the center of the circle. "Just like you always wanted to be. You're the strongest of them. The best. But it's all because of a lie. And now they know. They know the truth that you've fought so desperately to hide. It was never worth it, Amarantha. You were always going to be different. They were never going to love you. And the one person you thought was in your corner?"

 _Four_. I realized it a moment too late. She motioned with the wave of her hand and I covered my mouth as Iris and Florian stepped apart. Four's corpse fell to the ground, a bleeding bullet wound against his forehead. The blood was seeping onto the white floor and I could already feel it soaking through my shoes. _Not Four._

"Alone once more. So which one goes first? Perhaps your dear Eric," she purred.

For the first time in what felt like an hour it felt like my throat had opened up completely. "You're wrong. I'm not alone. I'll never be alone. Not really," I finally managed to speak. This was just a sim, but it felt like this was the last time that I would ever really speak to her. "I'm not the last one of me. There will always be another to take my place. Go ahead."

Taking a deep breath, I motioned towards Eric. Jeanine smirked and Eric scowled as she raised a gun to shoot him. Just before she could pull the trigger I stepped in front of the barrel of the gun. The boiling metal had just breached the skin of my forehead before I shot up in the fear sim chair.

My breathing was ragged as I gasped for air. That was the way that it always was once I managed to wake myself up from a sim. Four was already at my side and I clenched onto his jacket. Thankfully it really was a sim. He was alright and I wasn't dead. We were okay for now.

"It's alright, it's okay. You're fine. Just a sim. Although I guess you knew that," Four said.

"Yeah," I muttered weakly, dropping my head into my hands.

Sweat was at my hairline and I was shaking slightly. "Alex, that would never happen. Your friends, they're on your side. Even if they knew they wouldn't just leave you. They love you. Your parents love you too," Four said.

Maybe he was right. I wanted to think that he was right, but I couldn't be sure. I wasn't sure that I wanted to be right. Even if they didn't mean to their opinions of me would change once they discovered what I was. It was the way that the system worked. Divergent's were dangerous. A threat. They knew that. It's what they were taught.

"It was just a fear sim. It was the worst thing that you can imagine happening. It isn't real," Four consoled softly.

Pulling my hair down from the hold that it was in, I brushed it back off of my forehead and dropped my head in my hands. I didn't mean for it to happen but it felt like something in me had just snapped. For once I couldn't keep myself together. Maybe it was the thought that this was not going to be the last time that I faced this fear.

"That's the worst thing about my fears, Four!" I yelled.

He had clearly seen it coming. He didn't even flinch. "Alex -"

"It's that they could damn well become real. Some of them will become real. And there's next to nothing that I can do to stop it. I just have to face it. Reality. I get it," I told him.

As much as I hated it all, I did get it. Maybe some of them would stay by my side. There was a chance that they wouldn't all leave me. But they wouldn't ever look at me the same. Even once I found out what I was. I was never just Dauntless. I was Divergent. It was a label that went on you for the rest of your life. However short or long that might be.

"Yeah. But sometimes we don't need to face reality," Four said.

I raised my eyebrows. Was he really just telling me to forget about my troubles? "What do you mean?" I asked.

Four was always the type to get things done first and relax later. "Sometimes it's better to forget about the worries in our heads and pretend like everything is alright in the world. You were in and out of there in just under five minutes. You've earned it," he reasoned.

He was right. But that didn't mean that I was going to recognize it. "I haven't earned anything. Not yet," I said honestly.

The minute that Jeanine's plans to eradicate the Divergent's was destroyed was the minute that I would feel like I had earned something. "You've earned it," Four repeated.

"As long as Jeanine is still out there and working on this plan I haven't earned anything." Four glared at me so harshly that I thought it would burn a hole through my skull. He certainly had the broody look down pat. "But you're right. This is on my mind all the time these days. I need to get out there and do something that isn't going to end in a suicide run," I told him.

Of course any trip to Eric's apartment could be dangerous. Actually, every trip that I made to Eric's apartment was putting me in some type of danger. It seemed that my answer was good enough for Four. He nodded at me and smiled. He looked so much better when he smiled. I wished that he would do it more. Maybe I'd ask him to smile for an entire day before my time was up.

"Good plan. Head out there. Go enjoy your night or whatever you're doing," Four said.

In all honesty I knew that it was because he didn't want to think about what Eric and I did at night. That was what made me laugh. He would never want to know about our nights together. I smiled and stood up to leave the room. Four was cleaning up behind me. I walked over to the door and stopped when he called my name.

"Alex?"

"What's up?"

"I mean what I'm saying. You've earned a few days to not have to think about this," Four said.

"Thank you, Four."

Without anything else to say I headed out of the room and turned towards the Dauntless member halls. Even as I walked through the Chasm I could hear the noise coming from the Pit. Needless to say it was always the loudest place in the Faction. As I headed into the overflowing area I saw a few familiar faces milling around.

Max was standing near the Wolf's Den, as Eric had called it. It was a large overhang that jutted out over the dance floor. It was where all of the higher up Dauntless members were allowed to hang around. No one underneath surveillance title was allowed up there. Not wanting to see him for a minute longer I rushed by and smirked when I saw Zeke speaking with a girl I had never seen before. He was joking around with her and she seemed to be in between laughing and hitting him.

I smiled and brushed by the pair, not wanting to interrupt them. Uriah was hanging not far from him with a few Dauntless born kids. He gave me a quick wave and I smiled, passing by them. Kids were running back and forth and I had to do a few clumsy stumbles to avoid trampling them. It was earlier than I was normally out here. That meant that parents weren't telling their children to get back home and go to bed. It was complete chaos. But I had always found that there was order in chaos.

As I neared the edge of the Pit I saw Cameron trying to impress a blue-haired girl. She didn't seem to be buying his act. My friends were visible up in the walkways with the shops. It was obvious that they were trying to egg Cole into getting a piercing or something, and he was trying in vain to get them away from him. I'd have to ask Heather later if he actually got one.

For a moment I debated going to hang out with my friends but I decided against it. They seemed to be having a good boy's day. And I wasn't sure that I wanted to interrupt that. They were always good about leaving Heather and I alone on our girls days so I decided that I should return the favor. I passed through the edge of the Pit and headed into the back halls, heading straight to the upper levels.

I remembered once thinking that I would never learn the way around Dauntless. It seemed second nature now. I walked up to Eric's door and headed in. He had told me a few weeks ago to not bother knocking. It was better to come straight in than risk someone seeing me as I waited. It made me feel like he might be coming around to letting me into his life a little bit more. Eric was currently pouring over a few papers on the kitchen counter.

"You're early," he commented dryly.

Whatever it was that he was reading was irritating him. I could tell by his tone. And he hadn't even bothered to look up at me. "Hello to you too," I teased.

The corners of his lips turned upwards. "Not hanging around your friends?" he asked.

"Would it be so shocking that I wanted to come and see you?"

"They're busy then?"

His question made me smile. "Everyone seemed to have something to do so I decided that I'd come and see what you were up too," I admitted.

"I thought so," Eric said, still not looking away from his papers.

It made me think that I probably shouldn't be here. "I'll leave if you're working," I said softly.

The last thing that I wanted to do was annoy him while he was trying to get some work done. I knew what it was like to have someone hanging around while you were trying to work. It was annoying. Eric was only in his sweats and his chest was bare. His hair looked like he had been running his fingers through it recently. He must have been annoyed about something. He shook his head at me and I bit back a smile.

"Don't worry about it. I might be a little while. You can hang around," he said.

"Thanks."

He had no idea how glad I was to hear that. The only other thing I could have done was hang around in the Pit by myself. I nodded and headed over to his kitchen, intent on getting myself something to eat. His fridge had nothing in it other than some milk and a carton of eggs. I snorted and walked over to his pantry instead. He had a box of cereal and a few microwaveable soups. Thankfully we had the dining room.

"I'm almost overwhelmed at your incredible palate," I teased Eric.

The corner of his lips just barely turned up in a smirk. Although I saw his eyes flit over a line on his papers and his mouth fell back into a frustrated line. I was almost curious to check what it was that he was reading but I was sure that he wouldn't appreciate it. He liked keeping his things to himself.

"Nothing is expired. That counts for something," he said.

"That counts for absolutely nothing," I said, laughing loudly and shaking my head.

The soup and cereal didn't expire. They probably did, but it wouldn't be for a long time. At least he was right about the milk and eggs not having gone bad yet. So I supposed that did count for something. I grabbed one of the microwavable soups and popped it into the microwave, glancing over at Eric.

"What are you doing?" I asked Eric.

"Working."

"Are you really?" I asked teasingly.

Eric glanced up at me and pushed his paperwork back slightly. He watched as I walked over to him, standing in between his open legs. "You can distract me," he purred.

Placing my lips beside his eats, I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Finish your work," I snapped.

"Prude," Eric snapped, shoving me backwards.

"Finish your work and I'll show you how much of a prude I'm not," I shot back.

Eric gave me an annoyed smirk and I laughed before heading to his bookshelf. If he was going to be working I didn't want to constantly talk and bother him. I really wanted to have fun with him later and that meant that I would have to leave him alone for now. So I walked over to the shelf and began to run my fingers over the spines. Eric was incredibly organized with his books. There were all organized into genres and I scanned for the fiction books.

Honestly I liked his classics but I was in the mood for imagining another world. Escaping my own. I settled on a book that I recognized from Amity. J.R.R. Tolkien's _The Hobbit_. I smiled and pulled it from its spot. I had read this book a few times as a child. It was one of the few that hadn't been banned in Amity. I slipped off my shoes to leave by his door and grabbed a blanket off of the back of the couch, heading back over to Eric's bed with my soup in hand.

Curling up on the side of the bed that I knew Eric didn't sleep on, I folded myself into the blanket that Eric usually left out for me and began to flip through the pages and shift to a more comfortable spot. It was strange being in Eric's bed without having him try to mess with me. There was also the problem that the shirt that I was wearing dipped low in the back, revealing the new tattoo, and it was rubbing against the headboard. Eric was still yet to notice the new addition.

In the meantime I began to read through the story and I found myself in love with it again. I had forgotten about how much I adored Bilbo in his little Hobbit hole. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat. Instead it was the kind of Hobbit hole that I would have loved to live in. I smiled and continued to read as Eric mumbled to himself in the kitchen.

I had long forgotten about the wonderful characters in the story. Gandalf still reminded me of a crazy old uncle. Not that I'd ever had one to compare him to. My parents were both only children. Of course he was still one of, if not the most, intelligent characters. Much more so than the brash dwarves that he was with. But they were just as good hearted.

The brothers, Fili and Kili, whose stories were tragic. Boys who had only wanted to get back to their mother and prove themselves in their world. I could understand that. It was how I'd felt after first coming to Dauntless. I had forgotten about Bombur, with his stomach of steel. Ori, the sweetest little dwarf. And of course Dwalin, the toughest of them all. Except for the brave Thorin Oakenshield. And every one in between. They were all Dauntless to the core.

Without even noticing it I had begun to hum a tune that I had heard years ago. Had I not been hyper aware of where I was right now I would have thought that I was still in Amity. There were no words to the song, at least not ones that I had ever heard. Only a tune that I'd overheard being whistled. Sweet and somber.

"What are you doing?" Eric asked, speaking for the first time in nearly three hours.

I stopped abruptly as I looked up at him. My jaws snapped shut as I realized that I had been whistling a little bit louder than I had thought that I was. He was staring at me with his familiar piercing gaze. I couldn't tell if he looked angry or somewhat amused. I snapped the book shut and placed it on the side table. I knew where I was. They were in Beorn's home. It was one of my favorite parts of the entire novel.

Honestly I hadn't even realized that my humming had been that loud. But evidently it had and I definitely felt a little bit bad. I could only imagine how irritated Eric had been with me. He was trying to eat in silence and I was making a lot of noise and relaxing over on the bed. The song had just fit the mood. I hadn't meant to disturb him. Of course it was past nine o'clock. He shouldn't have been working anyways. The day was basically over.

"Sorry. Didn't even realize that I was doing it. I'll stop," I said softly and somewhat awkwardly.

I leaned over to pick up the book again when Eric stopped me. "No. Where did you hear it?" he asked.

I watched as he hopped off of the stools and headed over to me. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and I curled my legs up into myself, giving him room to sit. "How did you know that I didn't write it myself?" I asked.

"You're not that smart," Eric said.

"You're an ass," I shot back.

"Where'd you hear it?"

"Oh - uh - it was a few years ago," I admitted, feeling a little foolish.

The story was kind of stupid. "Tell me," Eric goaded.

"I was out in the Amity fields behind the Fence. It was a little creepy actually. I was getting nervous," I told him.

Eric smirked and I blushed. "That's cute, Amity," he teased.

"Shut up. I heard this pretty song. Someone was whistling. I followed it a little closer to the Fence. Actually, really close to the Fence. I knew that I was in Dauntless territory and I would get in a ton of trouble if they found me. But I wanted to hear more. So I followed this guard and listened to him whistle the entire song. I'm sure that there are lyrics to it. I didn't hear them. I always just thought that the tune was pretty. I didn't see his face. Too bad. I'd ask him what it was," I muttered.

It was true. I had hummed the song frequently and had even asked my parents if they knew it. Of course they hadn't but had encouraged me to make up my own words. I had never done it though. It would feel wrong. They had asked where I had heard it and I had lied, saying I heard a kid at school whistling it. That meant that no one would ask me questions.

"Come on, initiate, I won't bite. You can ask me," Eric said with a smirk.

For a moment a wave of stupidity hit me. Did he know the song? Was it something that Dauntless kids learned when they were growing up. But the moment of ignorance went as fast as it had come and the realization hit me. The Dauntless guard that I had followed had been Eric. I'd actually known him for years.

"You? It was you that was whistling that tune?" I asked to be sure.

Eric nodded, giving me a little smile. "It was me," he admitted.

"Wow. You had more hair back then," I said.

He laughed at my stupid comment. When I had seen him - granted that it had only been his back - his hair hadn't been shaved at all. It had been a little bit longer and had even been slightly curly. It must have been right after his initiation. He hadn't had the leadership tattoos yet.

"You saw the picture of me in the file in Erudite," Eric said.

"You're right. I should have figured that it was you. I used to imagine you when I thought of Dauntless. I would imagine what the front of you looked like. Strong and powerful. It made me want to be Dauntless from a young age. I never imagined that in a few years I would end up in bed with that guard," I said honestly.

I had thought that my honesty might have creeped Eric out but he merely laughed. "I thought I felt someone following me," he said.

I gave a small smile and chuckle. "That was me," I said.

"I used to walk by Amity and roll my eyes at them all. All I could hear was the singing and laughing. They looked so happy and so weak. You know I saw you once," Eric admitted.

My jaw nearly dropped. "You mean at the Aptitude Test?" I asked, remembering us locking eyes that day.

"Before that," Eric said.

"When?"

"You were out in the fields with your friends. The two that were in your pictures," Eric said. I noticed him scowl at the thought of Florian. "The three of you were talking and laughing. Those two were fighting with each other. You were laughing and leaning back in the grass. I remember you shouting at them, letting out a stream of curses because they were driving you insane with all of that fighting. I remember thinking that I'd never heard an Amity say something like that."

I remembered that day well. I had no idea that someone had been listening. That was the first day that I'd thought that there was a chance that I might be a Dauntless at heart. "So I made an impression?" I asked haughtily.

Eric laughed and shoved me back into the bed. "You caught my eye. That's why I looked at you that day. The Aptitude Test. I remembered you. I was curious if you would look nervous or confident," Eric said.

"I was terrified," I said.

"You want to know what I thought?"

"Not really," I said honestly. Eric laughed at me. "Which time?"

"Both of them," Eric clarified.

"Ah, well then I really don't want to know," I told him.

Once more Eric laughed. We both laughed that time. "You were interesting. You looked like an Amity. But you didn't act like one. Even when I saw you at the Aptitude Test. Your eyes were darting around but they kept landing on the Dauntless section. I almost wanted you to come to Dauntless, just so I could see you in action.

Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I gently pushed Eric back onto the bed and moved over him. "And are you still glad that I came?" I asked softly.

"I am."

I was almost surprised that he had admitted it. "What were you doing out in the Amity fields? The day that I heard you whistling," I clarified, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks.

"Max sent me out there to do a census of the people that we had out on the Fence. He wanted to make sure that it wasn't just the weak we have out there. In the event of an issue or catastrophe we need people that can hold their own," he explained.

"What do you really think is out there?" I asked, hoping that he wouldn't tell me monsters. That had been his answer during the Fence trip. It seemed like another life.

This time there was nothing joking about his answer. He looked serious. "Nothing," he said.

A little piece of me felt disappointed at his answer. I wanted to believe that we weren't the only people left in the world. It was such a large place. How were we the only ones that had survived? Answer: We couldn't be. There had to be someone else out there. The world was huge. We weren't the only ones left.

"I think all life out there is gone. I've been to the top of the Fence and looked out beyond before. There's nothing. Some trees and plants. Amity fields. Beyond that there's nothing. All radiation poisoning. A slow death for anything caught out there. But we keep guards out there. Just in case I'm wrong," Eric said.

At least Dauntless understood that there was a possibility that something else was out there. Not that we had ever seen anything other than a few animals that had survived the radiation poisoning. But they were expecting it to be something dangerous. What if it was something good?

"Very doom and gloom," I teased. Eric gave me a sideways grin. "So where did you actually learn a song? I can't imagine Eric learning to sing songs or something like the Amity kids do."

He snorted and shook his head. "It's a traditional lullaby in Erudite. It's called _Kothbiro_. The Bird Sings," he explained.

I had never heard of it. "Your parents taught you a lullaby?" I asked, wondering immediately if I had said too much.

"Most kids know it. My parents never sang it," he said and I scowled. His parents seemed worse every time I heard more about them. "Cameron's parents would babysit when I was younger. They would keep me overnight when my parents would be in the lab. They used to sing it while they worked. We would sit and listen to them after wrestling with each other. My parents would always yell at me and tell me that it wasn't becoming of an Erudite. Cameron's parents would always laugh and sing, trying to calm us down."

The images that came to mind were more like I was watching a movie. I imagined Cameron and Eric rolling around in a wrestling match, Eric presumably winning, before being separated by laughing parents. They would sit on the ground together and watch as Cameron's parents worked and poured over papers, singing in low voices. It almost seemed unreal.

"That's nice. How does it go?" I asked.

 _"Aaaah haye haye  
Haye haye  
Haye haye_

 _"Oooh mam' uwinja  
Koth biro  
Keluru dhok e dala_

 _"Oooh mam' uwinja  
Koth biro  
Keluru dhok e dala_

 _"Yaye nyithindogi  
un koro un utimoru nade?_

 _"Koth biro  
Keluru dhok e dala."_

Eric didn't sing the song, he spoke it. Not that I had been expecting him to sing it. It still sounded pretty. It was almost haunting the way that he said it. He adopted somewhat of an accent when he spoke it. It wasn't in English but it was still pretty to listen to. I couldn't help but wonder if Eric knew the translation.

"That's pretty. I would have never imagined that those were the words to the tune," I joked.

Eric smiled and nodded at me. "It's not English," he said.

"I know that. What language is it?" I asked.

Normally I wouldn't have bothered asking but if anyone would know what language it was, it would be him. "It's in an African dialect called Dholou." We hadn't gone over languages much in school but I remembered going over them. I had always thought that the African languages sounded more like someone singing than speaking. "Spoken by about six million people before the war," he said.

"That's so many people. I can't even imagine six million people in one place," I said.

The last that I had heard there were about one hundred thousand people that lived in Chicago. "World used to be a lot bigger. Africa was one of seven continents before the war," Eric explained.

I wanted to smack him. "I know what Africa is," I snapped.

"You are an Amity. How could I be sure?" Eric asked.

"Shut up. What does the song mean? In English?" I asked.

Eric looked a little surprised that I had asked that but he answered anyways. "Kothbiro. Rain is coming," he answered. That wasn't what I had expected. I had thought that it would be about a bird. That was brainless Amity thinking for you. "Auma do you hear what I say? The rain is on its way. Return our cattle home. Yay the children. What is it that you think you do? The rain is on its way. Return our cattle home."

Once more he spoke it. The song sounded less pretty when spoken in English. I could see why it wasn't an English song. "It sounds like a song that someone from Amity should sing," I said.

They were two things that screamed Amity. Eric snorted at me and shook his head. "Why do you think that I was whistling it and not singing?" he asked.

The way that he was looking at me made me smile. I moved to the side as Eric came to join me at the top of the bed. He fell onto his side and I moved closer onto the other side. He grabbed my arms and pulled me in for a kiss. I smiled and let my eyes flutter closed as my heart pumped against my chest. One strong arm came to wrap around my waist as the other tilted my head back. His lips stilled against mine and after a moment I pulled away, thinking that something was wrong.

"What's that?" Eric asked.

I realized that his eyes were on my neck and I smirked. He must have seen the edge of the tattoo. "A surprise," I teased.

Pushing Eric off of me slightly, I pulled off my shirt and turned so that my back was facing him. I grabbed my hair in my hands and moved it over my chest so that he could see the entire thing. Even without looking at him I knew that he was smirking. His hand went to the edge of my hip and I felt him trace the lines of the tree. It made goosebumps erupt over my arms.

"The boys all went to get their first tattoos yesterday. When we were there I saw the tree design. I couldn't resist. You were right. Tattoos are addictive," I told him.

"That they are," he said absentmindedly.

He was a little preoccupied with the new tattoo. I felt his hand run up the base of my neck and I shivered. Goosebumps broke out over my arms and legs and I rolled my eyes at myself. These were the simple things that gave Eric the most pleasure. The knowledge that even touching me in the littlest ways would get reactions out of me like that.

"This is extraordinarily Amity," Eric said and I laughed.

He was right. But I had done it for a reason. "But it's pretty," I shot back.

"I suppose. You have no right to ever complain about me calling you Amity."

As if it was second nature, I rolled my eyes at Eric. It actually had become second nature. "I haven't ever complained about you calling me that," I told him.

Not that I wanted to say it but his nickname of my old Faction had actually grown on me. I liked it. Everyone called me Alex. But no one other than Eric called me Amity. Not anymore. No one called me Amity or Softie anymore. They were names that were strictly reserved for Eric, and I found myself liking them a lot more these days. I turned back to face Eric.

"I recall you complaining about it quite a bit," Eric said.

"In the beginning. And I know that it looks Amity. That's the whole point," I said, and he raised his pierced brow at me.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I spent sixteen years there. Amity will always be a part of me. I used to think that there was something wrong with that. I used to think that being Amity made me weak. Now I see that it isn't the case. Being Amity only helped me. It didn't make me weak. It made me strong," I told him proudly.

He scoffed and shook his head at me. "Whatever you say," he growled.

Honestly I couldn't have been shocked. I shook my head and let out a slow breath. Eric was not a Divergent. He would never really understand what I meant. His arms snaked over my back and I smiled. That was until he grabbed the clasp of my bra and popped it open. He was far too good at that. I glared at him as the bra fell from my body. I wasn't going to stop him and grab it back. He knew that it was going to end up off at some point anyways. But that didn't stop him from getting a chastising glare.

"What?" he asked innocently. "I need to see the whole thing."

I laughed as he launched himself at me and knocked me back against the bed. He leaned down and I smiled as his mouth met mine and our bare chests hit each other. It was times like these that genuinely made me happy being around him. The times where he was just carefree Eric.

His hands were tight in my hair and I arched my back off of the bed to press against him. He merely ground me back against the bed. At least he no longer had the handcuffs. After he had finally let me out of them the next morning I had made sure that they had taken a one-way trip down the Chasm. He hadn't looked happy with me but I hadn't cared. No part of me believed that Eric having a pair of handcuffs was a good idea. Eric was a major pain in the ass. But he was my pain in the ass. At least for now.

My back was digging into the sheets and I hissed in discomfort. The tattoo was sticking against the sheets and with every movement I felt myself getting stuck. "What's the problem?" Eric snapped, as I twisted against the sheets again.

He clearly didn't want anything interrupting this moment. I glared at him before shifting so that I was leaning up on my forearms. "My tattoo keeps sticking to your fucking sheets," I snapped back.

Eric laughed loudly and I slapped him on the chest. It probably just felt like a butterfly landing on him. "That's cute," Eric teased.

"Asshole."

He was smirking at me happily. Obviously Eric loved the moments that he had me underneath him. Of course, I liked those moments too. But I also liked the moments that I was on top of him. The moment that he let his arms fall down besides me I struck. I grabbed his forearms and flipped myself over him. He looked a little surprised and I knew that he could have thrown me off easily, but he let me stay on top of him.

"See? Now I like this much better," I said.

Eric smirked at me and laughed, letting his hand wind up my stomach to come at a rest on my breasts. I sighed as he tightened his grip on them and let out a little gasp as his thumb gently brushed over my nipple, making it harden almost immediately. The breath left my throat as I ground my hips against his. One of his hands dropped down my hip and squeezed. It almost hurt but I didn't want him to stop.

"You're right. I like this better," Eric growled.

I laughed and leaned down so that our bare chests were pressed together again so that I could kiss him. He used one hand to wrap around my hair as the other worked at the waistband on my pants. Whatever he had been working on today had really been bothering him. I knew that he was frustrated whenever he was impatient at trying to get my clothes off. His hands were working furiously and I laughed as he became overly-irritated at getting them off.

What he didn't know was that there was a string on the inside of the pants that were keeping them tight around my waist. I needed to do that. They were too big without it. As he tugged I heard a tearing of the material and I pulled away from his mouth to scowl at him. He was not about to ruin another pair of my pants because he was too damn impatient.

"Don't rip them!"

"How the fuck do you get these things off?" he asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be from Erudite?" I asked.

Eric scowled at me. "I didn't fuck girls from Erudite or Amity," he growled, obviously blaming my pants on my Faction of origin.

There were moments like these - the ones when he said what was really on his mind - that made my face burn. I tried to brush it off by rolling my eyes and sitting up, dipping my hands down to untie the string. Eric watched closely as I untied them and tugged at the waistband. He lost all patience with me and I yelped as he grabbed my pants and yanked them down. I laughed and leaned up so that I could get them off of my legs. He barely let them fall off of ankles before pulling me back down to him.

It made me laugh at him. I leaned back to kiss him as I pulled down his sweats. They fell much more easily than mine did. It was almost funny. I liked him wearing his sweatpants much more than I liked him wearing his jeans. He lifted me up for a moment so that he could kick them off and I nearly laughed. He could move me around like a rag doll. I was almost nothing to him. That was why our fights together always ended up with me losing.

Eric's hands grasped at me possessively as I leaned back down against him and ground my hips into his. He met my movement and I smirked as he pushed his mouth against mine. Our tongues danced in each other's mouths as his fingers felt their way around my thighs. I felt him move my underwear off to the side and without warning, he dipped two in between my folds. A gasp fell out of my mouth as I ground my hips down against his finger.

He was so cocky to think that I would already be wet for him. But he wasn't wrong. He knew that I would already want him. His thumb rubbed around my clit and I threw my head back. He was sure not to touch the one spot that I wanted him the most. It made my breathing come out in moans that echoed across the walls. I moved back to sit so that my torso was straight up. I was giving Eric a full view of everything but I couldn't care less. He had seen me in every way possible. His eyes shot straight to my chest as his fingers slowly slipped around my clit, very gently pressing it down.

A sharp cry escaped my mouth and he retracted his hand. His free hand came up to grab my breast and I let out a breathy moan. My hips were rolling as he curled his finger inside of me, adding to the wave of pleasure. His finger dipped out of me for a moment and I whined at the loss before he plunged another in my tight core. I could feel myself soaking through the edges of the underwear that I still wore and running down Eric's waist and thighs. It probably felt like a compliment to him. It was.

We moved together for a few more minutes and I felt the bundling of nerves building tightly. It would only take me another minute. My breaths turned into pants as Eric pulled his finger out of me and moved down to kiss my core. He sent his tongue up my center and I shivered as he bit at my hips. But that was all that he did. A moment later he moved back away from me and I whined softly. Damn him. I was so close. And he knew it.

"You want more? Come and get it," Eric growled.

He was smirking at me and I knew that he was using it as a challenge. One that I was going to meet. I lifted my hips up so that I could pull off my underwear to give him full access and I forced his underwear off of his hips. He didn't move at all to make it easier for me. I tore the underwear from his hips and laughed as the fabric gave a little tear. I supposed that it was to make up for all of my undergarments that he had torn. He didn't seem to mind as I threw them from the bed.

He sprang free of the confines of his underwear and I shifted so that I was back on top of him. My legs were spread over each side of his hips and I was hovering directly over him. His hands came to latch onto my hips as I slowly sank down onto him. His tip was barely inside of me and I saw his eyes roll back in his head slightly. I took my nails and gently ran them down his chest before taking it upon myself to surprise him.

He always liked to surprise me with sudden movements, so I decided that I was going to do the exact same thing to him for once. I dropped down onto his length suddenly until he was completely sheathed inside of me. His eyes sprang open as his head dug back into the bed. I knew that he hadn't been expecting it. He let out a long groan as his eyes briefly shut.

The sudden intrusion made a shiver shoot through my core and a pang of pleasure hit me in the deepest spot. Using my knees to lift myself up, I nearly completely pulled myself off of him before sinking back once more. His eyes were completely black as I continued to ride him. His hands were digging into my hips, helping lift me and adding to the power to push me back onto him. My core was throbbing and my breasts were aching from how tightly he was grabbing them. But I wanted more. I wanted all of him.

Stopping the slow motion I had been teasing him with I began to adopt a more frantic pace. I fell back onto the balls of my feet and began to bounce quickly. The strokes weren't complete but it didn't seem to be bothering him in the slightest. One of his fingers came to rub and pinch my clit as I began to twitch under his touch. I wasn't sure how many times I thrust myself against him but I knew that it was a while. I was trying to hold out. Eric lasted longer than my previous partners and I thrived with it.

My previous partners had all eventually bored me to death in bed. I could be with Eric every single night for hours on end and he would never bother me. I leaned down slightly to kiss him and his tongue thrust itself into my mouth, following the bounces of my hips. My thighs began to tighten around him a little as I knew that my end was coming fast.

And he knew that too. Eric sat straight up so that our torsos were pressing against each other. He grabbed my hips and pushed me upwards as my arms wound their way around his neck. Our lips met in a frenzied kiss and I moaned into his mouth as my orgasm began to flood through me. I needed him to touch me. To do everything to me. He knew that I wanted it too. As my body began to spasm and I found myself nearly useless his arms tightened around me as he began to thrust into me.

He had lifted my body off of his lap slightly so that he could force his hips up into me. As my orgasm hit full force I cried out his name. He cut me off as he pressed his lips to mine in a searing kiss. His hands were tugging down on my hair to keep me pressed directly against him. It made my orgasm rock through me a little bit harder. I loved how rough that we could be together. Everyone else would have complained about it.

Eric's thrusts were desperate as he reached his end and I found our kiss becoming sloppier and our movements becoming jerkier. I could feel him pour into me and his thrusts becoming more like jerks, so I took it upon myself to ride him a few more times. He seemed appreciative as he pulled me in for another kiss. This one was much steadier. His forehead leaned against mine as I stopped moving against him and let myself just sit in his lap.

We stayed together like that for a moment as he leaned back slightly. I let out a soft cry of surprise as he fell backwards onto his back and pulled me with him. We went sprawling against the sheets as Eric rolled us two times so that we had ended up on the side of the bed that he normally slept on. Sensing that he might have been ready to go to bed, I moved myself off of him and shivered as he fell out of me.

It felt like something off a loss. I really did love being with him. And it made me feel strange to think about the fact that I loved anything about Eric. I couldn't love anything about Eric. Because he had the capability to actually break my heart. I knew that he did. Eric pulled the sheets up so that they covered us and I smiled as he grabbed me, pulling me towards him. I had been trying to roll onto the other side of the bed.

He pulled me up to his body and I laughed under my breath. One of my legs was thrown over his and he was laying straight on his back. He was staring up at the ceiling and I could hear him fighting to regain control of his breath. We were both out of breath from our actions a moment beforehand. As much as I wanted to go back to what we were doing, I also liked the sound of our panting breaths falling together.

But it wasn't long before his fingers began to spin their way down my back and I shivered as they traced over my hips. They only rested there for a minute before they moved down my thighs and separated my legs once more. He stroked against my folds where our fluids still slicked together. He was just about to slip a finger back inside of me when I moved away from him. I had never seen someone look so offended. I smirked and my head dipped down in between his legs as I took him inside of my mouth. If he wanted round two, he was damn well going to get it.

"Alex," Eric groaned.

It sent a spike of pleasure through me. I loved hearing him call my name. I took him into my mouth and pushed him all the way against the back of my throat, groaning and sending the vibrations up through his legs. He groaned loudly as I looked directly into his eyes. I loved the way that they rolled back in his head. Eric was groaning at me as I slowly slid my tongue up and down his length, sucking gently on his head.

It wasn't long before Eric ripped me off of him and dropped me into his lap. He looked like he was about to throw me underneath him, but I was still rather fond of having him underneath me. So I dropped over his lap and sank down onto him. Any protests he'd had from a moment before had died in his mouth. I bounced on his lap for a moment before leaning backwards, pressing my hands against the mattress for support.

Eric groaned at the sight of me fully exposed. I could imagine that someone else would be mortified to show so much of themselves to their partner, but I appreciated what Eric thought of me. A string of crude profanities - both loud and harsh - escaped his mouth as I stopped bouncing on him and rather rocked our hips together, panting loudly at the feeling of my clit and his pelvic bone rubbing together. His finger came down to my clit and started furiously rubbing at it as I threw my head back and cried out his name.

My entire back was starting to sweat as Eric finally became fed up with being the man on bottom, even if I could see that his eyes were mostly glazed over and rolling into the back of his head. He threw me off of him before pulling me off of the bed from his ankles. I shrieked softly as he grabbed me and pushed me back against the edge of the bed. He stood in between my legs as I was pushing back against the bed, spreading my legs for him. Eric grabbed my hair at the roots and tugged my head into his shoulder.

Groaning under my breath, I felt Eric press his hands against my shoulder. I cried out in ecstasy as Eric bit down on my shoulder and pulled our hips together. It wasn't long before Eric flipped me over and started pressing into me from behind. I cried out loudly when his hand met my backside. He used each thrust as an excuse to slap me again. My breaths were coming out in hard pants as I shouted softly, hearing the neighbors start to bang on the wall, shouting for us to be quiet.

Not that it mattered to either one of us. I was going to get what I wanted as I wasn't going to stop until I had it. I was sure that Eric hadn't even heard them. My nails went back to his thighs and dug in slightly. It only made his thrusts harder and sharper. Eric pushed me down into the bed, giving me no room to make any sort of movement. I was completely at his mercy as he pounded into me almost painfully. My head leaned backwards against his shoulder as he bit down roughly at the junction of my neck and shoulder.

As Eric pumped into me he leaned his front against my back, pressing kisses down my spine. I shuddered under his touch as he wrapped his arms around my hips, keeping us together. When he finally released himself, my name spilled from his lips. We both panted and moaned as he dropped over me, his weight almost pushing me down into the bed. I could feel him twitch against me for a bit before he pulled himself out of me. I found myself immediately missing his touch.

Eric leaned back against the wall as I sat on the bed for a few moments. On shaky knees I finally got up to get some water. As I poured myself a glass, I felt Eric come up behind me. His hands slowly started tracing their way up my bare thighs and latched onto my hips. As I started to drain the glass, his lips came to gently run up my throat. I had to place the water glass down to ensure that I didn't accidentally spill it all over his floor or myself.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"You know, I don't think I've ever properly broken in my kitchen," he pointed out.

"No?"

"No."

"And you just think -"

Eric cut me off by grabbing me underneath the thighs and picking me up to shove me back against the refrigerator, standing in between my open thighs. "I don't think. I know," Eric said, shoving himself into me.

It was needless to say that we got no sleep that night, and neither did Eric's neighbors. I was sure that they were losing their minds, shouting themselves hoarse for the two of us to stop. But I couldn't really bring myself to care, and I didn't think that Eric did either. Although I did certainly have a tough time explaining to Four why I wasn't quite walking straight the next morning, and why I had fallen asleep waiting for my fear sim. It was all because of the things that Eric did to me.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you like this one! :)**

 **gurpreet: Thank you! Eric is the dominant partner for now but Alex's time is coming ;) I just thought that the handcuffs would be a cute and goofy thing to have happen. Hope you liked this one!**


	8. Chapter 8

Eric's P.O.V.

It had to be early. Way too damn early. Eric was always an early riser so when he was awoken with a blurry head and sick feeling in his stomach he knew that it was earlier than early. And that meant that it wasn't time to be awake yet. A loud banging was emanating from the outside of his door and he growled under his breath, trying to hide his head under the pillow. If it was that important Eric would have gotten a call on his tablet.

So that meant that it wasn't early enough for anyone to be coming to wake him up. For a moment he thought that it might have been Cameron playing a stupid prank but Eric knew that it was a foolish thought. He had lost the Erudite habit of waking early the day that he had left the Faction. Cameron was rarely seen awake before eight.

The banging at Eric's door still hadn't stopped and his pillow was doing nothing to help drown out the noise. So Eric threw the offending fabric off of his face and leaned over to turn on the lamp. It was almost painful to look at the light. For a moment he thought that he might have been hungover. But he couldn't be. He didn't drink last night. His Amity had come over for a while and he had explained to her what Phase Three was going to consist of. He hadn't had time to drink.

She hadn't been thrilled to hear that everyone was going to be able to see her fears. He was. He wanted to see what it was that she was afraid of. He knew about her parent's being killed and snakes. But he knew that there were more. He could tell that there had been a number of other things that she had been afraid of. He'd heard her telling little bits and pieces of her fears to her friends. The knocks started up once more and Eric growled at the figure outside to wait a second.

As he stumbled pathetically from the bed he realized how grateful he was that she hadn't spent the night with him last night. He had thought that her having to hide underneath his bed was funny but he really didn't want to risk getting caught with her. Max might have known that Eric was fond of her but he didn't know the extent. And Eric wasn't willing to test it. She could still get thrown out of Dauntless for having an intimate relationship with him.

As he walked to the door he realized that it was only five thirty in the morning. If it somehow was her he was going to pitch her over the edge of his balcony, no matter how much he liked her. Eric was in his boxers and he decided to cover up just a bit more in the event that it was someone else. He grabbed a black shirt and pulled it over his head. He yanked the door open and was shocked to see that it was actually Max, looking very awake and alert.

"Max," he stupidly greeted.

"Hello, Eric."

"It's early. What are you doing here?" Eric asked.

Maybe it was a little bit rude to ask something like that, particularly to the one person that would always outrank Eric, but Max was usually good about calling first if it was at an unreasonable hour. And Eric considered anything before six thirty to be an unreasonable hour. Max didn't seem to notice the slip of the tongue.

"Pardon the wake-up call, Eric," Max said.

Eric could tell that Max didn't feel the slightest bit bad. "That's alright," Eric muttered

Not that he was bothered by it. Eric was a leader. If something was wrong it was his job to take care of it, no matter what time it was. There were plenty of the perks that came with the job of being a leader - including having an apartment that would allow him to have his private moments with his Amity - but there was also the fact that he could be called upon at any time to handle next to anything.

"Would you come with me? There's something that I need you to see," Max said.

"Okay."

Eric reached down and grabbed his pants, which had been discarded by his Amity earlier, slipping them on. He went to grab his boots before Max called out. "Just carry them for now. It's early. No one else is awake yet to see. If we can do this fast and unnoticed it would be the best," Max said.

"Alright," Eric said confusedly.

It seemed that something was extremely out of order. Max seemed a tiny bit jittery and almost unsure of what was happening. That wasn't something that Eric had seen from Max. Max was always the kind of man that had everything together. It was rare to see him out of order. Eric nodded anyways and left with Max, locking his door behind himself.

He wasn't sure what it was that Max wanted but it couldn't have been anything good. Especially not if the leader wasn't letting Eric know what it was that was happening. They headed out into the loading bay and Eric scowled as Max motioned to a car. So they were going somewhere. Who the hell wanted to speak with them this early in the morning? And why did Max not want anyone knowing? They climbed into the car and Eric slipped on his shoes.

"Where are we headed?" Eric asked, as he straightened up and sat back against the seat.

"Erudite."

Max said it slowly and with an almost careful tone. He knew as well as Eric did that anything having to do with his former Faction could set the youngest leader off. Eric hated being woken before six. And even more he hated anything having to do with his home Faction. He would have much rather been sleeping. He would have rather it been his Amity at the door. At least he could have had a good wake-up call with her.

"Why?" Eric asked sharply.

"Jeanine Matthews has something she would like the two of us to see," Max informed Eric.

A low growl escaped from his mouth as he shook his head. But he maintained his normal disposition. Eric hated everything having to do with the Divergent. He hated Jeanine too. He wasn't really sure why she was after them but if he wanted to maintain his status as leader he had to work with her. And he did see where she was coming from. They disrupted the Faction system. Either way his day was just getting better and better.

"And what is it that Jeanine wants us to see that can't wait until a slightly more reasonable time?" Eric asked rudely.

He was polite to Max all the time. Even when it was obvious that he wanted the leader anywhere but near him. It was obvious enough that Eric wanted to be anywhere but near Max. Actually he just wanted to be back in bed. This time Eric was pissed. He just wanted to go back to bed and didn't want to have to see Jeanine.

"She didn't want to say over the phone," Max admitted.

Eric scoffed under his breath. "Of course she didn't," Eric said.

To his surprise, it looked like Max was about to smile. "She did say that it was important and that we needed to see it," Max said.

"Okay."

Even though Eric was agreeing, he really didn't want to go. He didn't want to have anything to do with whatever it was that Jeanine wanted this early in the morning. Eric rolled his eyes as he leaned back a little further into his seat. He was sure that whatever it was it wasn't that important. Jeanine tended to jump to conclusions.

"I would have asked for a meeting at midday but Jeanine wanted no one else to know about this. And I have something that I need for you to do today," Max told him.

Once more Eric let out a little snarl. Max was going to drag him out of bed this early and then force him to do something else? Probably pointless too. Usually the things that Max wanted Eric to do were either completely reasonable and serious, or there was literally no fucking point. There was never an in between.

"And that is?" Eric asked exasperatedly.

Max held his tablet and Eric could see him chatting back and forth with Jeanine's secretary. "I need you do to the fear simulations for the initiates today," Max said flippantly.

Eric's pierced brow raised and he had to clench his jaws together to keep them from falling open. That was one of Eric's least favorite things to do. He had only done it six or seven times in the past four years and he hated it. And it was Four's fucking job to take care of the initiates. Not his. Eric liked to bug them during Stage One but after that he couldn't care less until they got to the fear landscape. He didn't give a damn what the initiates were afraid of.

"And why is that? Four is the one that does the fear sims, not me," Eric snapped.

He was a leader. He was above taking care of the initiates. And he was not about to baby them like Four did. "Four came to see me last night. Barely made it there. He looked like he was about an inch from death," Max said.

Eric raised his brow. Was Four going to die? "Something wrong with him?" Eric asked curiously.

"Something that he ate last night. I've warned the kitchen about their seafood nights."

Eric blanched at Max's words. He couldn't believe that Four had actually eaten the fish. He had only eaten it once and had learned his lesson painfully. Everyone knew that unless you had a stomach of steel the fish would give you food poisoning. Except for Four, apparently.

"I gave him the day off to recover. And you know that when Four is unable to do the fear sims it is your duty to step in," Max said.

Eric growled. Max was right. It was in his duties as leader. "Of course," Eric said through gritted teeth.

"You don't have anything better to do, do you?" Max asked.

The questioning glance that Max was giving Eric was more of a dare to argue with him. Although Max didn't scare Eric, he knew that the man could easily strip him of his leadership status. So Eric begrudgingly shook his head. When he thought about it there really wasn't anything better that he had to do. Other than her, of course, but she was busy with training.

"No. I'll get them from breakfast when we get back," Eric said.

"Thank you," Max said.

Not that Eric could have said anything else. Max went back to his tablet in the meantime. Eric scowled and leaned back in the seat. He hadn't brought anything with him considering he had thought that they were staying in Dauntless. He did wonder what his Amity would think when she realized that it was him that was going to be seeing her deepest fears rather than Four. He wondered if it might end up changing her fears considering that it was now Eric that would see them.

The car stopped and Eric looked up at the Erudite compound. Another scowl crossed over his face. He hated this place more than anything. And he hated that from the front of the compound he could see the home that was once his. His family had always lived at the top of the compound so that they could overlook the rest of Chicago. Eric just wished that he could strangle his parents just by glaring at the window.

The two of them got out of the car and Eric looked around through the windows. It didn't look like anyone was awake yet. Maybe a few people were still in the labs that hadn't slept yet but no one else. They walked into the main room where the usual receptionist was waiting for them. She knew who they were and she motioned them straight back to Jeanine's office.

He and Max walked side-by-side as they headed back to Jeanine's office. She was the only person that had an office back here. There were others but no one actually used them. In the housing areas there were a few lights on in spattered apartments. And like expected, no one was walking through the halls. Eric pushed open the door to Jeanine's office and walked through with Max.

"Good morning, gentlemen," Jeanine smiled. She didn't look the slightest bit tired.

"Good morning, Jeanine," Max greeted politely.

"Morning," Eric greeted, a little less politely.

"With me, if you will?"

Jeanine turned and motioned for them to follow her through a few hallways to head into the back of Erudite. Eric had never been allowed back here. These were all private experimentation rooms. His own parents hadn't even been allowed back here. No one was unless they had a special authorization card.

Jeanine finally seemed to find the door that she wanted as she stopped at the end of the hallway. She pushed open the door and walked in with Eric and Max behind her. Eric could tell that Max was bored but he himself was curious. He had always wondered what was back here.

The room itself was extremely odd. He had seen plenty of experimentation rooms before but never one like this. Computers lined the walls with programs and schematics running across the glass screens. Eric was good with computers but even he couldn't tell what the programs were about. The only other thing that caught Eric's eye was a large machine behind a glass wall.

The machine had strange black tubes with razor sharp needles sticking out of them. It looked like a torture device. There were serums inside of vials that were sticking out of the top of the machine. It reminded Eric of the machine that initiates in Candor used. He stared at the machine for a long time. It wasn't just him. Max was also staring at the machine confusedly. It turned out that it wasn't just Eric who had been left in the dark about this.

The only other thing in the room that seemed worthwhile to look at was a small box in the center of the room. Max was staring at it and Jeanine was coming close to touching it. Somehow Eric liked the look of the box less than the machine. The box was a dirty looking gold with four sides. It looked ancient but like it had been designed with new technology. It made no sense to Eric. He didn't like the way that it looked or where it sat. It made the entire thing feel extremely ominous.

It clearly had something to do with the large machine in the corner of the room. The box had the symbol of one of the five Factions on each side. The top of the box was the Erudite symbol. Max was examining it closely and Eric noticed that he wasn't touching it. Jeanine was staring at it like it was the bane of her existence. No one was speaking as everyone examined the odd-looking box. Eric noticed that he was standing the furthest away from it.

"Jeanine," Eric called out, sick of the silence.

She took a few moments to turn to him. It was like the moment that she looked away she was convinced that the box was going to do something. "Yes, Eric?" she asked softly.

"What is this?" he asked, motioning around the room.

He had thought that Jeanine was waiting for them to speak up but she seemed a little surprised to actually hear his voice. Clearly she had been pouring over the box. It must have been something that was keeping her occupied most of the time. And that meant that now Eric and Max would have to learn about it.

"It's a wonderful question, Eric. For the longest time we had no idea what it was. We still aren't one hundred percent what it is. But I believe that I've found it," Jeanine said.

Jeanine didn't look pleased. She looked anything but happy. "And it is?" Max asked.

"We've come to calling it simply, The Box," Jeanine said. Eric had to hold back a snort. It was a very creative name. "We started by trying to hook an Erudite member up to the machine. We've learned that they work in synchronization. This machine was always here."

She hadn't bothered to look back at the machine. It was clear that it was the Box that held her attention. "Pardon my interruption," Max spoke up.

Jeanine turned to look at him. "Yes, Max?" she asked.

"But where exactly did this Box come from? The machine you say was always here. Fine. But what about the Box?" Max asked. Eric nodded with him. He didn't like the look of this thing. "Where did you find it?"

Suspicion was high in his voice. Eric didn't blame Max in the slightest. The Box looked anything but good and Jeanine was never one to be trusted. Even though Eric worked with her he didn't really trust her. Of course, he didn't really trust anyone. With the exception of Cameron. Maybe his Amity.

"It took quite some time. It was during an inspection of Abnegation a few weeks ago. After the attack on Amity we found out that Factionless were heading to Abnegation next. But it turns out that they weren't looking for Divergent's there. They were looking for something else," Jeanine said and Eric raised his pierced brow.

"What are the Abnegation hiding?" Eric asked.

They were selfless. They wouldn't hide something. "This. The Box. Presumably to try and keep it out of our hands. But we got to it first. It was found in the home of Natalie and Andrew Prior," Jeanine explained.

Even though Max looked unfazed, Eric cocked his head. He knew that name. "Andrew Prior?" Eric repeated.

Jeanine nodded. "Yes," she confirmed.

"He works with the Abnegation for the government. Doesn't he?" Eric asked.

Jeanine nodded again. "Yes," she repeated.

Eric couldn't understand why someone working for the government would be hiding something like this. Unless they didn't know that it was there. "Why did he have this Box?" Eric asked.

"Not known. We asked him, even put him under a truth serum. He doesn't seem to know why the Box was there. His wife seemed about as clueless as he was. I believe that it was placed there to hide it from whoever they were attempting to hide it from." That was the only thing that made sense to him. "They have two children, both fourteen, but neither were questioned. The less people to know about it the better. So we took the Box with a warning for them to never repeat what happened," Jeanine explained.

It was for the best that no one else knew about this thing. Especially when it seemed that no one knew exactly what it was that the Box did. And it was even better that the Candor didn't know. They would demand for the truth of the Box to be revealed. Eric was sure that it was only a matter of time before Chicago would find out what this was.

"What exactly does this Box do? You said that you had ruled it out," Max said.

The last thing that Eric wanted was to know what was inside of that Box. It looked like it needed to be chucked over the top of the Fence. But maybe there was something important in it. Eric walked a little closer to the Box to see what it was that was so strange about the Box. It looked like something that needed to be destroyed.

"Ah, yes. It's taken work nearly every day to find out what exactly it is that this Box does. We still aren't positive. But we know now what we need to open it. We started with just an Erudite. This shows sims. One for each of the Factions. If you fail a sim, if you are unable to solve it the way that someone from that Faction would solve it, you die. We believe it's the stress on the body of the sims. If you are successful, that part of The Box unlocks. All five Factions must be unlocked for The Box to open," Jeanine explained.

Max looked completely lost and Eric rolled his eyes. It wasn't that hard to figure out. "You need a Divergent to open it," Eric stated.

Max still seemed lost but Jeanine nodded her head slowly. "Indeed I do. Which is half of the reason that I've been looking for them rather than killing them," she explained.

Eric nearly scoffed. He knew damn well that Jeanine would kill a Divergent before she actually used them. "Using them?" Eric asked.

"I've found out that it isn't just any Divergent I need. I need a one hundred percent pure Divergent," she said.

That came as news to Eric. Obviously it came as news to Max too. They were both staring sideways at Jeanine. Was there really a chance that something like that was real? He wasn't aware there was such a thing as a one hundred percent Divergent. The closest Eric had seen was sixty-two percent.

"Is there even such a thing?" Eric asked.

"They don't need to have been revealed to have every aptitude, but they must be able to learn as each Faction would," she continued.

It seemed that Max had finally caught on as he was nodding his head slowly and leaning back against the platform where the Box sat. Eric half expected a gun to come out of the Box and shoot Max for standing so close to it. "Has this even come close to being successful?" Max asked.

Eric was a bit surprised that he had said something mildly intelligent. It wasn't that Eric absolutely hated Max, it was just that he didn't think that the man was that bright. Jeanine nodded slowly and Eric knew that it meant that there hadn't been that much success. Or not as much as she wanted.

"We've seen some success. The first person that was successful was able to beat one of the simulations. We've had a few able to beat two," Jeanine said.

Eric scowled. That wasn't anywhere close to where they needed to be. "But you need all five?" Eric asked.

"Yes. No one has been able to beat all five. We need someone that can. That's why the plan that I have on hold is so important. We collect as many as we can and test them all. I have a few lined up in the meantime to try," she said.

Both men were nodding along with her. Eric still wasn't convinced that it was a good idea to go poking around the Box. He wasn't even sure what was inside of it. She wasn't even sure what was inside of it. How could they know that nothing dangerous was going to happen if they managed to open the Box?

"Do you have any clue what's going to happen when you get that Box open?" Eric asked, a little harsher than he had meant to. "Or if there actually is a way to open it?"

There was always the chance that no one could. For once Eric saw that Jeanine was genuinely irritated with him. She usually seemed amused when she spoke Eric. "There has to be a way to open it. If at least one of the Factions can be opened there is a way to open them all. I've seen all of them passed at least once," Jeanine said.

But that didn't mean that someone was really able to pass all five of them. "But can someone actually pass all five?" Eric asked.

"I'm sure that they can. I just need someone that can pass all of them together. One person must unlock the entire thing." It seemed to Eric that it was a kind of test. And if you failed you died. "As for what's inside of it, it could really be anything. I believe that it's a way to destroy Divergent's once and for all," she said, a little glimmer in her eyes.

Eric certainly wasn't sure about that. If they needed a one hundred percent Divergent to open it maybe that meant that whoever had created the Box liked the Divergent's or wanted them to succeed. As far as Eric was concerned the Divergent's were a threat to the Faction system but they were still people. The only way to kill them all would be to hunt them all down. But still, more would be born with time. There was no way to eradicate them permanently.

"Is there a particular reason that you've brought us here to show us this? Not that it isn't fascinating," Eric said blandly.

As far as he was concerned this was a gigantic waste of his time. If no one could open the Box then there was no point to show them it. When someone was able to successfully open the Box, then Eric would be interested. Until then, he wanted to be back in his bed where no one was bothering him.

"Of course. I can see that you two aren't quite so convinced that this is real or that this can actually happen. So I want you to see it in action. The night of the final Fear Landscape in Dauntless, at eight o'clock, I've lined up another test subject to be used. I believe this one may be the key," Jeanine stated proudly.

Eric was sure that Jeanine had thought she'd found a few 'keys' before. "You found a new one?" Max asked.

"Yes. Max, you'll need to be welcoming the initiates to life as a real Dauntless member. But Eric, I would like you to be here to watch it. To witness history," Jeanine explained.

Eric was no moron. He knew that just like Max, when Jeanine said something like that it was not a request. So Eric nodded slowly, wishing more than anything that he wouldn't have to be there. He didn't want to have to be the one to clean up the corpse of some new Divergent that Jeanine had placed all of her cards on.

"I'll be here. Who is this new subject?" Eric asked.

Eric was a little bit curious as to who it was that she'd found. A little hint of a smile filed Jeanine's face for the first time since Eric had seen her that morning. He didn't like the smile that she wore. He rarely did. There was something deeply offsetting about the way that she was looking at him.

"A no one. No one that anyone will care about if they don't live through the end of the simulations," she said. That wasn't true. Everyone had someone that cared. Even Eric. "Not to worry. They've already been instructed as for what will happen to them. Now, it's going to be a long day for everyone. Thank you for coming by gentlemen. Eric, I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks."

"Likewise," Eric responded.

He was barely able to say it through gritted teeth. He just hated the smarmy look on her face. Of course he had it too but at least his was teasing. He had some redeeming qualities. Without bothering to say another word he and Max headed out to the car to take them back to Dauntless. All Eric wanted to do was go back to sleep but it was already too late.

As they climbed back into the car, Eric couldn't help but to wonder if anything about the Box could really be a good thing. Eric couldn't help but to feel that it wasn't. That Box didn't look like anything that he had ever seen before. Nothing from this side of the Fence, and that wasn't a good thing. While part of him was a little curious about what was inside of it, he was sure that it wasn't wise to open it. Whatever was in that Box should remain untouched.

Alex's P.O.V.

As my eyes opened slowly I stretched out against the bed. The lights weren't on in the room yet and I was grateful. Whenever they were it felt like I was waking up in the infirmary. As my spine stretched out I felt the bones crunching in every part of my body. My back, legs, arms, shoulders, and everywhere in between. I hated the beds in the dorms more than anything. But it made sense for me to be staying here more often these days. After all, we were getting close to the end.

There was only three more weeks until I finished Dauntless initiation. It seemed like it had always been so far away. This dream that would never end. But now it was here. And it was so close. It still didn't feel real to me. It didn't feel real that, in a matter of weeks, we would be done with initiation and I would be a real Dauntless member.

Standing from the bed quickly I leaned down to grab my clothes out of the bag that I was still living out of. Very few things weren't in here. The only thing that wasn't was a jacket that I kept at Eric's apartment. And probably a few pairs of torn underwear. As I moved into the bathroom I realized that it was still early. Only one person was up and they were already in the showers.

"Guys?" I called out.

"It's me," Draven responded. "I'll move over one."

"Thanks!" I whisper-yelled.

He moved into one of the separate stalls as I headed to the one that he was just in. The water had warmed slightly from his time in it but that meant that it was only cold rather than freezing. My muscles tensed and I shivered violently. I had gotten so used to the heat in Eric's shower. I had told Heather about it a while ago and I had never seen the ex-Candor look so jealous. She hadn't used a warm shower in over seven months.

As the water ran over me I tried to think about anything other than the uncomfortably cold water. Unfortunately that led to me thinking about the fear that I had been seeing for the past week. Four had seemed to agree with me during our midnight sessions that the only way to go about it was to listen to them all insult me and step in front of the bullet at the end.

He knew that I wasn't thrilled with that ending but it was the only one that worked every single time. And it wasn't a Divergent way to end it, it was Dauntless. It showed that I wasn't afraid of death. Even after hearing my friends say the most painful things that they could to me I would still defend them to the death.

I had told Four that I was nervous for people hearing Jeanine call Eric my sweetheart. Actually I was nervous just for him to hear that somewhere in the pits of my mind I thought of him like that. I could have sworn that I didn't. Four had seemed to think that it was no big deal. No one had any proof that anything was happening between us besides a silly little fear that I had that could have been lost in translation. Besides, even if they did figure it out by that night we would all become Dauntless members anyways. Four was convinced that no one was going to care.

My hands worked their way up to my hair and I began to run my fingers through it. There was a little built-up grease that I was trying to wash out. As much as I liked Dauntless I didn't like the constant sweating. As we got closer to the end of initiation and as we had been out of physical training for a while, Four had told us to spend our free time that we got waiting for our sims in the training room. It had been easy to see that it wasn't a request.

The higher ranked initiates would go in the morning and the lower ranked initiates would go in the afternoon. I would normally spar with my friends. I was getting better and I had even beaten Aaron a few times. Cameron had been in the training room once and had asked me to spar. He had beaten me but I had been glad to see that he did have a black eye from a strong hit from me. He had seemed happy that I was able to hit him. Eric had certainly been amused when I had told him where the bruise was from.

But it wasn't the physical that I was concerned with anymore. It was the mental and emotional. The physical I had already proven that I could do. We were in the final week of Phase Two. No one was leaving until the end of Phase Three. Eric and Four had both told me that it was going to be the fear landscape. I was the only one of my friends to know exactly what it was. Four had told me that Lauren would show everyone what to expect. She would show us hers. We would get two weeks to practice our own. Phase Three was the shortest.

Both Four and Eric had told me about what I could expect when I got to Phase Three. Four had told me that it was going to consist of all of my fears. And if I didn't discover all of the rest of my fears within the next week I would start seeing new ones in the landscape. It was designed to show all of them in an almost endless loop.

Eric had told me that you were aware that you were in a sim during the fear landscape. I had been forced to keep the smile off of my face. That would throw all of my friends through a loop. Not me. I was already used to being completely conscious in a fear sim. Not that I had told him that. Four agreed that it would help make me faster.

As I washed off the rest of my body and tried to rub away the goosebumps I thought about the rest of the fears that I had seen through the past few weeks. The first fear that I had seen was Jeanine threatening to kill my parents because of what I was. I was glad that I had figured out how to finish that fear before she could say anything. The second was Eric defending Jeanine, forcing me to kill him. I still wasn't fond of having to deal with that fear.

The next one had been my baby sister not making it and being able to do nothing about it. The mortifying snake pit had been after that. And the last one that I had seen was everyone I cared about turning their backs on me. They were all terrible. The only good thing was that I knew how to beat them all. It made them no less painful though.

The only thing that didn't make any sense to me was that I had so many fewer fears than my friends. Anyone at all that I had heard about. Zeke had told me that he'd had nine. Cameron also had nine. Damien had once told me that he'd had eleven. Although I wasn't sure how many Four and Eric had. I knew that Four had the fear of heights. That was the only one that I knew of though. Eric had two that I knew of. I wasn't sure how many fears Hunter, Jade, or Colt had. I didn't care either.

Heather had seen nine so far. Buck had seen eight. Draven and Dante had both seen seven. Jax had seen six that he'd admitted. I had a feeling that it was more. Cole had seen ten and Jet had only seen five that he'd admitted. He had kept two of them a secret. The Dauntless born all seemed to range between seven and twelve. I had only seen five. It seemed wrong to me. Especially because of everything that was going on with Jeanine Matthews.

The fears were enough to make me wonder what was going on but nothing kept my mind busier during the day than wondering about what I could do to stop Jeanine. As far as I could tell there was nothing. Four and I had both thought long and hard. Whatever we were going to do was going to have to be done behind the law. No one was going to believe us if we came out in public with the plan. Many still believed that the Divergent were dangerous.

The only way that Four and I were going to be able to show that they weren't would be for us to come forward and show that we really weren't that different. There was next to nothing that we had figured out past that. There was a little hint of a plan forming in the back of my mind but I wasn't so sure that it was really going to work out for me. Not that any plan was going to work out for me. For now I intended to keep it a secret from Four. He would immediately tell me no.

Reaching over to the faucet I turned the water off and nearly laughed when I immediately warmed. More people were using the showers now and it had plunged the temperature desperately. I stepped out of the standing water and grabbed my towel. People were moving all around and I heard soft conversations so I chose to keep the curtain closed. Only three more weeks and I would finally have privacy. _If you live that long_.

I shook that thought off and tried to force my mind back to the more mundane ones. It had to be getting close to eight if everyone was already moving. I grabbed my clothes off of the floor and pulled them on. It was a pair of dark gray jeans that were tight around my legs. I had a black low-cut shirt on as I tied my hair up. Stepping out of the shower I pulled on the socks and slipped out of the bathroom, letting Buck get in the shower after me. I walked out into the living room and pulled my boots on.

Looking over to my left I saw Heather give her sheets a good tug up to the top of the bed. The comforter shredded down the middle at the sudden movement and I smiled bashfully at her. She looked infuriated. Obviously something had happened to her at some point in the past few days. Or maybe it was just a culmination of everything.

"I can't wait to get the hell out of this stupid dorm. You know, I was trying to roll over in bed last night and I fell out!" she shouted.

I imagined that everyone was ready to get their own apartments in order. "We've all done that at least once," I consoled her.

"My bed in Candor was like three times the size of these cots."

"Your bed was three times this size?" I asked, shocked.

"Yeah."

"Mine was only about twice as big."

"At least you have someone else's bed that you can go to," Heather teased.

We both laughed softly as I blushed. The boys turned towards us at the mention of my 'man' so I quickly decided to change the subject. "I thought I heard something last night," I told her with a small wink.

Heather laughed as she pulled on her training outfit for the day. Loose pants and an oversized shirt. I'd noticed that she'd really been dressing down lately. She seemed to be at the end of her ropes with initiation. Not that I could really blame her. Particularly because she had once been a Candor, and they weren't exactly known for having the best of tempers.

"Heather, there's only three weeks left of initiation before we're real Dauntless members. Can you believe that?" I asked.

She shook her head with a happy smile. "Not at all. It seemed like we were never going to actually get here. But now that we're so close it feels weird," Heather said, making me laugh.

"I know. I can't believe that we're actually getting to the end," I said.

"To know that in just a few weeks we're never going to have to worry about our rankings or arranged fights or facing our fears again. We're going to have real jobs and make real money and have a real apartment!" she yelled out, making me laugh again.

"I'm so pumped to never have to sleep on these cots again," I said happily.

We would be real independents. No longer dependents or initiates. Well, she would. I might not be. "It doesn't feel real," she mumbled.

I nodded along with her as we walked out of the dorms. The boys were just a few minutes behind us. "I agree. Nothing seems real. But we're almost there!" I shouted happily.

"And we'll have a real celebration soon."

"You know, I was talking to Eric and he told me what people do when they move out of the dorms. He was saying that some Dauntless born go back to living with their families. I could never do that," I said.

"No way. I love my family, but I'm done with living with them," Heather said.

"He said that a lot of people will move in with friends and significant others and the rest will go by themselves," I continued.

She nodded as we walked into the kitchen and grabbed our food. "Honestly I'd ask you if you would come live with me but I'm pretty sure that we'd constantly be asking each other for time in the room," Heather said.

I appreciated that she also had thought about us living together. I had done the same thing when I had first heard about the living situations. But she was right. We would both be asking for privacy all the time. She would want her time with Cole and I would want my time with Eric. We couldn't live together. There would be too many interruptions.

"Neither one of us have the best control. We'd probably end up giving each other a little show," I said, laughing softly.

"Save that for Eric," Heather teased.

"And you for Cole," I shot back.

"Maybe we could get apartments next door to each other," she suggested.

Honestly I liked that idea. I liked the thought of getting to live next door to Heather. We took our seats at the normal table we sat at and I watched as the boys filed into the kitchen. Most of the higher-up Dauntless members were up in the Wolf's Den and I noticed Eric speaking with Max. He looked pissed and extremely tired.

"Yeah. I'm sure that they have adjoining rooms or something. We could do that and get our privacy at night and still be able to bother each other during the day," I told her.

She laughed at my suggestion. "Perfect," she said brightly.

The boys would never see us. We would probably spend all day gossiping with each other. What could you expect from seventeen year old girls? "I'm still curious to see what job I'll end up with," I told her.

Honestly I was trying to think of something other than the fact that I had twenty-one days left to get a plan together. In all honesty I hadn't thought about what job I would have after initiation in a while. I had been too busy thinking about whether or not I was going to live that long.

"Me too," she said.

"We're high-ranked enough that we'll both have good jobs when the time comes," I said.

"That's true. I was thinking about maybe Ambassador or surveillance or something," Heather said.

"That's a good idea. Cameron is an Ambassador and he really likes his job," I pointed out.

"But I'm not so sure that I would want to have to deal with the initiates all the time."

I laughed at her honesty. She was still Candor somewhere deep down. "If they're anything like us, I wouldn't want to have to deal with them either," I said.

"There has to be other things that I could do. I would say leadership but I'm not ranked high enough."

"There'll be something good for you."

"As for leadership, you are!" she yelled excitedly.

And she was right about that. But I wasn't sure that with everything that I knew I would actually want to be leadership. I hated knowing just how corrupt our government was. Jeanine was the only leader. No matter what anyone else thought. I wasn't sure that I could manage to handle leadership and balancing my secret.

"I know but I'm not sure if leadership is really something that I want to do. The government is so corrupt. Or maybe that's exactly the reason that I could do it. Try to make a difference in the City," I convinced myself.

Heather nodded at me with a little smile. "If anyone could make a difference, it would be you," Heather said.

"Thanks. Eric was telling me about a job that's right below leadership. You might not be ranked for it but you make a case for yourself and you'll do great. They're section leaders. They lead certain aspects of Dauntless," I explained.

As far as I knew they made up a large portion of Dauntless. Some worked with weapons while others worked with communications. Eric had told me that it covered a broad range of topics. And judging by the smile on Heather's face I assumed that it sounded like something that she wanted to do. It was something that I would think about if I were a few rankings lower. Or if I really thought that I might survive initiation.

"Hey, that sounds cool," Dante said as he took the place to my right.

All of the rest of our boys flooded into open spots in the table behind him. "That's what I thought when I heard about it," I said.

"You ladies talking about what you would want to after initiation is over?" Dante asked.

"We are," I said, nodding at him.

"Well I know that they assign us jobs based on who ranks where. The higher ranked you are the better your job will be," Dante said.

He was right. That was exactly the way that it worked. The lowest would go to the Fence, the most undesirable position in Dauntless. Just above them were the shop workers. Above them were the security runners; the people that kept the peace in the rest of the Factions and the streets. The higher you were the better off you were. The highest went to something along the lines of leadership. The more important positions in Dauntless.

"They told us that from the beginning. I think that we're all ranked high enough to do something that we would like," I told them honestly.

I wasn't concerned that any of us were going to be in danger of being out at the Fence. I had a feeling that if Hunter, Jade, or Colt somehow managed to stay in Dauntless they were going to end up at the Fence. And that was fine by me. The less that I had to see of them the better.

"I mean I'm not that high ranked but I think that I'm high enough to keep myself off of the Fence. I really wouldn't want to do that," Buck admitted.

He was ninth. That should have been high enough to keep himself off of the Fence. "You're too high to be on the Fence," I said.

"Really?" Buck asked.

"Yeah. Tenth and lower get placed on the Fence," I said.

"I think patrolling or something would be cool," Buck said.

We all nodded with him. It would be a job that never settled down. It might make him even busier than a leader. Besides being an Ambassador or working on the Fence, being on a patrol was the one job that would keep you away from Dauntless the most. Those who worked with the patrols did get every other week off though.

"Definitely a job that would keep you busy. But at least you'd never be bored," Draven said.

"It's just a lot to do," Heather pointed out.

"But it could be worth it," Jax put in.

"Besides Miss Amity over here, I'm the highest ranked transfer," Draven said.

I laughed and nudged him gently. I knew that there were no hard feelings about my ranking. "You fought tooth and nail, but that number one spot is mine," I said.

"I don't think I'd want to do leadership anyways. There's too much riding on you. I was thinking maybe an ambassador or something like that. Patrols wouldn't be bad either. Maybe a section leader or something like you were saying, Alex," Draven said.

If anyone would be good as a leader it would be Draven. He had a good head on his shoulders. He was the one person that would be able to keep himself calm in any situation. It didn't matter, I knew what he meant. That was a lot riding on you as a leader. If you fucked up it was your own fault. There would be no one else to hide behind.

"You'd be good at anything that you decide to do. You're a natural Dauntless, man," Dante said.

Everyone smiled at him. "Thanks, man," Draven said.

"I'm thinking I'd want to go into weapons control or something like that. I'm ranked high enough that I think that they would trust me not to shoot my foot off," Dante admitted.

The rest of us started to laugh. I was pretty confident that none of us would injure ourselves. We had been working with weapons long enough to have become rather proficient with them. It actually sounded cool to me. Getting to play with guns all day. That was one of my favorite things to do in the physical part of training. My least favorite had been knives. Mostly because of what had happened between Eric and I afterwards.

"That actually doesn't sound too bad. I've always liked to work with my hands. Maybe something in the construction industry or manufacturing," Jax said.

Dauntless was in control of construction in Chicago because we were really the only ones that were strong enough to be able to do all of the heavy lifting. "I would have never even thought about that," I said thoughtfully.

"I didn't either. I just started thinking about it," Jax said.

"Sounds like a cool idea," I said.

"Although I don't think that surveillance would be too bad," Jax continued.

It seemed that surveillance was mostly a secondary plan. Four seemed to like it enough and I had a feeling that the rest of us would like it too. Downing the last bits of my eggs I pushed them back a little further on my plate. I wasn't sure that I wanted to eat anything else this morning. I noticed that the closer that we got to the end of training the less that I ate.

"Well what about something like records?" Cole asked.

Every head turned to stare at him like he was insane. Even Heather looked a bit concerned for his well-being. "Really?" Heather asked, sounding shocked.

"You could be like a spy or something. It's like espionage in the old books."

Needless to say laughs were exchanged around the table. "Are you kidding?" I asked Cole, through a laugh.

"Whatever, I think it's cool," he huffed.

Jet reached across the table and grabbed Cole by the shoulders. "Hey man, anything is better than being at the Fence," he said.

We all nodded. I wondered if Jet would look for something like patrolling the Factionless sector. Maybe in hopes that he could see Raven from time to time. "What about patrols?" I asked Jet.

"For the Factionless sector?" he shot back, obviously knowing what I was getting at.

"It would be nice to see her," I said softly.

"Maybe," Jet muttered.

"But there are other things too," I said brightly, trying to change the subject.

"Well I'm destined to end up on the Fence if I don't pull my ranking up a few spots. I'd rather work at a shop or something like that. I'm sure that the Fence is better than being Factionless but I really wouldn't want to be out there all the time," Jet moaned.

As great as Jet was during the physical part of training he simply wasn't as strong in the mental part. But most people weren't. Myself being the exception. But I hated hearing that Jet thought that he was going to be at the Fence. He wasn't. There was no way that any of my friends were going to end up out there.

"None of us are going to be at the Fence!" I shouted, louder than I had meant to.

Everyone jumped and turned to look at me. "She's right," Heather agreed, after a brief silence.

"We're better than that. And even if someone does end up at the Fence there has to be a way to progress through the rankings. You shouldn't be stuck to one job for the rest of your life. None of us are going to be forced to do something that we don't like. We came here to have a better life, not a worse one," I told them.

"That's a sweet sentiment, Amity," I heard a familiar voice call.

It was Eric. I stiffened completely and saw that my friend's eyes went wide. Heather seemed to be the only one uncomfortable and not nervous. Eric was standing directly behind me with his arms crossed over his chest. A hint of hesitation shot through my chest as I stared at him. I wasn't sure what to say. The last time that I had spoken to Eric in front of my friends since we had gotten together was when he had delivered my letter. I wasn't sure how to speak to him now. Thankfully he saved me the effort.

"You will go where we decide you're worthy to go. If you don't like it the Factionless district is only a few miles away," Eric snarled. I had to admit it hurt a little that he addressed the comment to me. But he couldn't be soft to me. "Get up. Head to the sim room."

That time I knew exactly what to say. "Where's Four?" I asked.

That was when I forgot that I couldn't say things like that. He might have been the person that I spent the night in bed with, but they didn't know that and I couldn't tell them that. I heard all of my friends suck in a little breath. They still thought that Eric was going to kill me if I spoke out of term with him. They might be right. Eric looked pissed that I had interrupted him. Or maybe that I had brought Four into it.

But I didn't care. I wanted to know why our normal trainer wasn't here. I wanted to ensure that he was still the one to see my fears. Eric was scowling at me. I could see that all of my friends were about a second away from smacking me. They didn't know that Eric wasn't going to hit me. Not out of serious anger. He might just give me a little smack. I had a feeling that he wasn't genuinely angry with me.

"Four is sick today. I'll be administering your simulations until he's feeling better. Move." _Oh, good. Just what I wanted_. "Now!" Eric yelled when none of us moved.

Each one of my friends sprang from the benches faster than I had expected. Even the Dauntless born broke into a near run as they all headed to the sim room. No one wanted to be the one to make Eric mad. Even Heather went a little faster than normal. I didn't bother to jump up quickly. I slowed down so that I could fall in line with Eric. I walked just slightly in front of him as to not raise any suspicion. Everyone knew that Eric and I didn't get along; or so they thought.

"What's wrong with Four?" I asked, turning my head back slightly to look at him.

"Who gives a damn?" Eric snapped.

I knew that he wasn't a fan of Four but that didn't mean that I wasn't. Besides, I needed Four. And he really was my friend. He had become a really good friend to me over the past few months. I was concerned for his well-being. I turned back to scowl at Eric. He seemed unfazed by my glare.

"I give a damn. What's wrong with him?" I asked sharply.

"Why do you care?" Eric snapped.

"Someone's in a bad mood," I commented dryly.

"I have better things to be doing than this."

"We're too lowly for you?"

"Of course. Unless you're in my bed," Eric teased, speaking lowly and running a hand across my lower back.

Goosebumps started to raise on my arms. "You know that I'll be there whenever you want," I whispered back.

The corners of Eric's lips tilted upwards. "Four will be fine. He just needs a few days off. I'll tell you about it later," he said.

"Okay," I muttered, nodding and speeding up to stand with my friends.

The boys seemed clueless that I had been walking so far behind them and so close to Eric. Heather gave me a suggestive smile and I rolled my eyes at her. Nothing had happened. Nothing could happen between us in public. We all headed into the sim waiting room and I sat in the chair as far away from the sim room as possible.

"Colt. In here. Now," Eric snarled.

He looked furious with the blonde haired boy. I couldn't help but to wonder whether it was because he had nearly killed me. They disappeared through the door and I waited a moment before turning to Heather. She seemed invested in chipping off some red nail polish that had seemingly been on her nails for months.

"Hey, I need you to do me a favor," I told her.

She looked up from her nails to turn and glance at me. "What's up?" she asked.

"Can you kind of lean in front of where I would be sitting and make sure that Eric doesn't see that I'm gone?" I asked her.

Heather nodded slowly, probably curious as to what I was doing. "Sure," she said.

"Thanks. If he asks tell him that I'm in the bathroom."

She leaned back against Cole, who was flipping through the screens on his tablets faster than I thought was possible. "Yeah, no problem. Where are you going?" she asked.

"Gonna go check on Four," I explained.

Heather nodded at me. "Sweet. Give him my best," Heather said.

"I will."

Everyone else ended up hearing my plans and asked that I give Four their well-wishes too. Heather had noticed that I had become close with Four during Phase Two but I was glad that she never bothered to ask about our developing friendship. She didn't need to. She knew that I was with Eric, and he was the one that I wanted. I nodded at them all before jumping up and slipping from the training room after Eric came to get Hunter.

Trying not to get caught, I walked through the sub-levels of Dauntless, taking a few wrong turns before coming up on Four's apartment. His was harder to find than Eric's. There was less lighting down here. I walked up to the door that was marked with Four's name and knocked softly. It took him nearly two minutes to answer the door. When I saw him my jaw nearly dropped. He had a green tint to his face and he was covered in a think sheen of sweat. He looked like a corpse.

"Whoa. You look like hell. Drink a little too much last night?" I teased.

Teasing seemed to be the wrong way to go about it. Four looked pissed that I was here. Maybe he was just pissed to be alive right now. He certainly looked like he had seen better days. Or maybe it was the bags under his eyes and the red tint to them. Eric was right about Four not doing that well right now.

"Good to see you, Alex," Four said. "Come on in."

His voice was raw, like he had been yelling a lot recently. He moved to let me into the room and I did so. His apartment looked like Damien's but it was larger. It was almost the size of Eric's. And their rooms were decorated very similarly. I almost wanted to laugh. I took a seat on his couch where a few blankets were laid out.

"Cute apartment," I said.

"Glad you like it. Smaller than Eric's, I assume?" Four asked.

"Just a bit."

A furious blush fell over my face. Even though Four knew what Eric and I did together, it didn't make it any less embarrassing. "You don't ever eat the fish here, do you?" Four asked.

I shook my head. "No. I don't like fish," I said.

"Good. Don't do it."

"Why?"

If he hadn't looked green before he sure did now. "Take a guess," Four growled.

The realization hit me and I couldn't help the tiny smile that fell over my face. "You have food poisoning?" I asked.

Four nodded and I had to stifle a laugh. He turned an angry glare on me as he walked over to me. It seemed like at any moment he might keel over and die. It didn't help with the look that he was giving me. I leaned over and let out another snorting laugh. It was hysterical that someone like Four had actually gotten food poisoning.

"Look, Four, I'm sorry but it's funny! Someone like you got food poisoning just because you ate fish," I laughed.

It was true. Someone as great as Four getting sick over something stupid like a piece of bad fish. Four scowled at me. "You're an ass," Four growled.

"Don't you dare die on me. We still have things to take care of," I said, half-joking and half-serious.

To my surprise Four actually smiled at me. I thought that he was going to yell at me. "I'm not leaving you, Alex. I promised you that I'd be there until the end for you. We're in this together," he told me seriously.

"Thanks."

The two of us looked at each other and I smiled as I leaned back on the couch with him, tucking my feet underneath myself. Four took a seat on the couch and I watched as he wrapped the blanket around himself. I would have thought that he was boiling. He looked like he was sweating a lot.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? You should be in training. And I somehow doubt that Eric gave you his permission to come here instead," Four told me after a moment.

Four was no moron. He knew that Eric would never give me explicit permission to be here. "Of course he didn't. He's taking care of the fear sims right now so I decided I'd slip out for a little while and check on you," I told him.

Four smiled at me as he slunk down to lay on the couch. "I'm twenty. I don't need you babysitting me," Four said.

"You'll always need me to babysit you," I shot back.

It was suddenly like he was a twelve year old boy. It was the most vulnerable I'd ever seen him. I sort of liked it. "No, I won't," Four growled.

"You want me to make you soup or something?" I asked.

His eyebrow quirked up and he smiled. "Soup?" he repeated.

I felt a little foolish for offering in the first place. "Yeah," I muttered.

"Are you going to play mother for me?" he asked.

"Shut up," I snapped, scowling at him. "I'm not your mother, I just care."

"Just kidding. Yeah, actually, if you would that would be wonderful. It's up in the cabinets," he said.

"Okay."

Nodding at him, I went to head into his kitchen and search for the soup cans. It was a bit smaller than Eric's. And Four's was a little lighter. He had some white mixed into his kitchen while Eric's was all gray. They both reminded me of kitchens that belonged in Abnegation. It was almost funny to see how much they did share in common with other Factions. I walked over to his pantry and slid it open. As I looked it over I nearly laughed.

Four had his food stacked neatly, from largest to smallest. I couldn't help but to wonder if it was a habit from Abnegation. I'd heard they were tidy people. He didn't have a ton of food in his apartment but it was more than Eric had. I grabbed a can of soup and walked over to his fridge in curiosity. There wasn't much in it. There was some meat, butter, milk, and a few vegetables and fruits. This time I did laugh. Four had no liquor in his apartment.

It was so very stereotypical of a Stiff to not have any liquor in their homes. In a way they were extremely similar to Amity. They didn't believe that alcohol was needed. Of course we tended to be loose enough without it. Sometimes the Abnegation really needed it. Actually they always really needed the liquor.

"Something funny?" Four asked.

I walked to pour the soup into a pot on the stove. "Yeah," I said softly, turning up the heat on the stove.

I had only used Eric's once and I had burned the burgers that I was trying to cook. Needless to say we had resorted to having Eric running out to the dining room to bring back food. That was the last time that I had attempted to cook anything. It would probably be the last time that I would ever cook.

"What's that?" he asked.

"It's just that no one in Dauntless seems to have actual food in their apartments. I think you have the most food of anyone I've seen," I said with a small smile.

In Amity there had always been a ton of food stacked everywhere. "How many apartments have you been in?" Four asked sharply.

"Three, including yours. Eric has barely anything. Microwavable soup, cereal, and milk," I said.

They were the only three things that Eric ever had in his apartment. "No point in having to go and make your own food if Dauntless has the same thing down in the dining room. Plus a lot of people don't have time to cook. Especially not leaders," Four said.

I snorted under my breath and nodded. "I don't know. It doesn't seem that Eric actually does anything but read those stupid manuals all day long," I said.

"Trust me when I say that he does a lot more than that," Four said.

"I know. I just like to mess with him and say that he doesn't do anything."

Four smiled at me. We were in silence for a few moments before Four spoke again. "You gonna be alright in the fear sim today?" he asked.

It took me a moment but I finally nodded. I wasn't sure that I wanted to have to show Eric my fear but I didn't have a choice. I just knew that I would have to act normally. Eric would know that something was off if I started acting funny. I would be able to get out of it without having to show my Divergence. I knew that I could.

"I'll handle it. I know. Whatever the fear sim is, make sure that I get out of it without showing my Divergence," I said.

"You can do it. I know that you can," Four said.

"Thanks. I'm thinking that the sim is going to change again. The last time that we saw it, it was pretty obvious that I had conquered it," I explained.

I had beaten it. But it never felt like I was really beating it. Four nodded at me. "You have. I agree. It's going to change again," he confirmed.

But that was when I couldn't help but to wonder if I was getting close to the end of my fears. It seemed like I had seen so many fears already and we were running out time. Although I knew that I could have seen far more fears than I actually had. It seemed that I was working through it so much slower than my friends were.

"Just make sure to keep calm," Four said.

"You know me. Calm as a... cucumber? Is that the saying?" I asked dumbly.

"It's cool as a cucumber, you moron."

We both laughed. "Shut up," I snapped.

"You know as well as I do that the computer can be a little hard to see through. Just don't worry about it. Take your time. Eric will be irritated by the time that he gets to your fear sim. Trust me one that," Four said, going back to the topic at hand.

My eyebrow raised as I stirred the soup. I wasn't sure if it was done. "And how do you know that?" I asked.

This time Four looked slightly amused. And I was surprised. Normally when it came to something about Eric, Four looked pissed or irritated. They hated anything to do with each other. I still didn't quite understand why Four and Eric hated each other so much and one day I was going to be sure to actually find out why they hated each other so much.

"Eric has done the fear sims before when I had something else that I needed to do. Normally it's only in cases like this. When I'm too sick to do something or when I have something else that is important to do. A mission. Something of that sort," he said.

I nodded at him. We were almost to the end and it was the first time that Eric was monitoring our fears. "Yeah, I figured that was why he was there," I said.

"He always hates having to deal with the initiates fears. He thinks that they're pathetic," Four explained.

A little smile graced my face and I tried to shake it away. Some of my friends did have silly fears. One of my favorites was when Jax had told us he was afraid of these people that had once been performers. They were called clowns. Full grown men wearing colorful makeup and making kids smile sounded creepy to me but not something that I would be afraid of.

"I hope that Cole is done with the scorpion fear. For his own sake," I said softly.

Four must have had fears that he genuinely enjoyed watching. My snake fear was probably one. "Your friends have some interesting fears," Four said.

"That so?"

"Most of them are afraid of things like heights, animals, or physical properties. Very few of you actually have rational fears. You're one of the few."

I nodded as I began to ladle the soup into the bowl that I had placed out. "I guess I have a lot of real things to be afraid of," I muttered.

Four nodded at me as I grabbed the bowl off of the counter and walked it over. "Unfortunately you do," Four muttered.

Frowning softly, I handed the soup to him. "Here you go. Let it cool down for a minute," I told him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Leaning over the couch, I handed him the soup until he grabbed it. I smiled at his momentary weakness as I handed him a napkin. I felt like my mother when she had taken care of me on the days when I had caught a cold. It was clear to see my Amity roots right now as I was taking care of Four the way that a mother would her child.

It was odd. Sometimes we were like brother and sister. Other times we were like the best of friends. We could also be like the worst of enemies. Occasionally it seemed that Four and I were father and daughter. And now it seemed that we could add mother and son into the mix. We were quite the pair.

"Alex?" Four called, startling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked, taking a seat next to Four again. He moved his stretched out legs to give me room to sit.

"How much do you know about Candor?"

His question had caught me off guard. If there was anything that I was expecting him to ask me it was not about how much I knew of Candor. And it wasn't much. The most that I knew came from listening to Iris go on and on about the Faction that she eventually wanted to end up in, and the few times that we had talked about it in class.

"Not much. I know that Jack Kang is the representative. I know that it's in the center of Chicago, not far from Erudite. It's in a skyscraper. They live in the Merchandise Mart. We know it as the Merciless Mart." That was the nickname of the compound. "To get through initiation they take lie detector tests all day every day. I think that they take five months to get through initiation. They use the most serums of anyone besides Dauntless," I recited, like it was out of a textbook.

Four nodded at me. "Jack Kang is a friend of mine. I think that he can be a friend of yours too," Four said.

My eyebrows raised at Four's words. I wasn't sure what he was getting at. I didn't know Jack Kang and I wasn't sure how he was going to be able to help me. "How?" I asked.

"I'm heading there in a few weeks to talk with him. I need to try and sway him from producing the serum for Jeanine. Anything to keep her plan in the dark for a little while longer," Four said softly.

"Okay."

It didn't take long for a little plan to begin forming in my mind. It wasn't even a plan. It was like the seed of something akin to a plan. If I was able to get into Candor and get a vial of that compliance serum I had an idea of how to beat Jeanine. But it was dangerous. More than any other plan that we'd come up with.

"Do you know how well that the compliance serum works right now?" I asked Four.

He shrugged, looking less than impressed with the results of the serum. That didn't bode well for me. "In trial tests, not well. It doesn't even work on everyone," Four said.

"It doesn't?" I asked.

For my plan to work, it needed to work. "But that was a few months ago. I think that it's been progressing quickly. The last that I heard was that they were able to control people for a maximum of about ten minutes," Four explained.

"That's a start," I muttered.

Ten minutes might be all that I needed. "It doesn't completely eradicate thought either. The people that have been undergoing to serum are still well aware of what's going on. Jeanine wants it so that they don't know what's happening. They won't remember what's happening. Why?" Four asked.

Suspicion had risen in his eyes and I knew that he was thinking that I was getting a stupid idea. He was right. The thoughts that I had running back and forth in my mind weren't exactly the brightest in the world. Not that I wanted to tell him that. He seemed to like to shoot my plans down the moment that I suggested them.

"I think I have the beginning of a plan. It's not much but it's something. And it all starts with you bringing me to Candor whenever you go," I said.

He took a moment before nodding. "Alright," Four agreed and I fought back a smile. "What's this plan about?"

"I don't know," I immediately answered.

Four looked like he might have smacked me had he been feeling a little better. I needed him to trust that I knew what I was doing. "What's that supposed to mean?" Four asked.

"It's not like I have no clue what I'm doing but I need to make sure that this is going to work. It's not even much of a plan. It's just a hint of an idea. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. But I need you to help me. I need you to get me into Candor with you," I begged.

The conflict in Four's eyes was obvious. He knew as well as I did that we were running out of time to come up with a plan. We were desperate at this point. We had only another few weeks until training was over and I was to meet Jeanine. But I was also his friend and he didn't want to do something to get me killed.

"I'll get you in there. Do you know where you need to go?" Four asked.

"Yes," I said, even though it was a lie.

I would just need to find Iris and Florian. They would help me but I would tell them as little as possible. I was not going to get them injured or killed because of me. "I'll trust you on this one. But Alex, eventually you're going to need to tell me the truth. I'm not letting you go to Jeanine without even a hint of a plan," he said.

"I will," I told Four honestly.

He would need to know the entire plan if we were going to be successful. That put an end to our serious conversation. We both leaned back after that and chatted for a few hours about absolutely nothing. It was nice. I already knew everything about my friends and Eric wasn't much for idle chit-chat. He was good to talk with but I enjoyed learning more about Four. He was the one that I barely got any chance to actually socialize with.

I had gotten myself lunch a while ago and sighed as I looked up at the clock. By now we were getting close to dinner. And that meant that my sim was coming up. I had to be getting back. It was getting close to when I knew that my turn would be. Not that I wanted Eric to know what my fears were. I was nervous that I might accidentally reveal something about my Divergence.

Four had placed down a book on the table to look at his watch and turn back to me. I knew that he was thinking the same thing that I was. It was time for me to get going. Not that either one of us really wanted me to leave. I was having a nice time just sitting here and having a good time together.

"You should get going. It's getting close to when you need to do your fear sim," Four said.

"Alright."

I nodded and made my way to stand. Four was leaning over the edge of the couch and I felt a little hint of pity for the trainer. He looked like he was about to be sick again. He had been sick a few times over the past few hours. And each time seemed worse than the last. I headed to the door but before I could leave I turned back to Four. He was back upright on the couch but it seemed that at any minute he might head back to the trash can.

"Try to keep drinking fluids. Flush it out. Feel better soon," I said.

"Thanks, Alex."

"I'm not sure how comfortable I am with Eric seeing my fears," I muttered more to myself than him as I left the apartment.

"Good luck," Four called after me.

"Thanks."

It only took me a minute before I came back to the fear sim room. It looked like it was just Draven and Aaron that were still left to go. It seemed that my timing had been exactly right. Right as I took my seat I watched as the door opened and Draven walked in. I sat up against Aaron and closed my eyes as I waited for Eric to call me in.

My mind was wandering all over the place and I forced myself to slow down. I was thinking mostly about what my next fear was going to be. I knew that it was going to be something new today. There was no way that there was anything different than what I had already done with my fear of everyone turning their backs on me. I also thought about how many more fears I had. I wasn't sure. Four was convinced that I was still going to see another two or three before I was done.

It wasn't even that that I had to think about. There was my fear landscape that I had to think about too. Everyone that I had spoken to said that the landscape was worse. That it felt like it was never going to end. I just hated knowing that we only had two weeks to practice it. It was so short compared to the amount of time we'd had for everything else.

It didn't take long for me to shove out the intrusive thought about what would happen since Jeanine was going to be there to watch my final fear landscape. Or having to deal with her afterwards. Those thoughts had only led me to think about what Eric would think about seeing my fear. He would probably think that I was weak.

It didn't really matter. I knew that my time with him was coming to an end. I hated thinking that in three weeks he was going to know what I was. There were only going to be two outcomes to the scenario. He was either going to decide that I was dangerous and needed to be taken care of, or maybe he would save me. Those were the only ways that this was going to end. I knew which one I would prefer to happen. But I also knew which one was more likely. And they weren't the same.

It begged the question of whether or not Eric would really have the heart to kill me. I liked to thing that he wouldn't, but I knew that it was just wishful thinking. I knew that he would kill me. He had done it in his fear sim just for a stupid spot for leadership. He had shown me. He believed that Divergent's were dangerous. Jeanine Matthews had poisoned his mind, just like everyone else. He would think that I was a threat to the Faction system the moment that he found out what I was. I just hoped that when he looked back this would be the version of me that he remembered.

"Earth to Amity," a harsh voice called to me.

I glanced up and out of my daze to realize that no one else was in the room with me. Aaron must have gone and went without me noticing. Of course I wasn't known for being the most observant person. I smiled bashfully and stood to walk into the sim room. Eric closed the door behind us and I moved to take a seat in the reclining chair.

He was standing over near the computers and I smiled at him. He was muttering to himself softly and looked pissed. I assumed that the other transfers had probably had fears that really were annoying to watch. Of course I was sure that Eric thought that everyone's fears were stupid. In a matter of moments I was sure that he would think that my fears were stupid. I was definitely hoping that the snake pit fear was done with.

"You look happy," I teased.

"Thrilled."

"How have you been enjoying the other initiates fears?" I asked, knowing that it would push his buttons.

He did well at not giving me the rise that I wanted to see from him. He merely smirked and I rolled my eyes. "Did you know that some of your friends are afraid of me?" Eric asked.

He was smirking at me. "I can't say that I'm shocked," I said.

I assumed that it made him happy that people were afraid of him. I wasn't sure whether or not I would want people to be afraid of me. I smiled at him and shook my head, plopping myself in the chair. Of course people were afraid of him. He was terrifying. Everyone was afraid of him. Even I was afraid of him sometimes.

"It's good. Keeps them in line," he said.

I couldn't help but to laugh. "Alright, tough guy," I teased.

"You like it," Eric said, placing his lips against my throat.

"I do."

Eric pressed a small kiss against the inside of my neck and I cringed slightly. It was moments like these that I wanted him more than anything. But I couldn't. Not in the chair that we did our fear sims in. No way. I shook my head at him and gently shoved him backwards, leaning back against the chair a little further. I just wanted to get this over with.

"Come on then. Let's get this over with. I want dinner," I told him with a little laugh.

Eric smirked and grabbed the needle in his hand. It looked much more menacing in Eric's hand rather than in Four's. He held it to my neck and I sucked in a breath. This was my least favorite part. And I had no doubt in my mind that Eric wouldn't give me the same warning that Four did. Eric's fingers trailed down my neck and I gave a little shiver. He knew every weak spot on my body.

"I'll come over after I eat," I told him, trying to think about something other than what I wanted him to do.

He smirked without bothering to look away. His hands were on my shoulders and I tensed as the tip of the needle sat against my skin. "I look forward to it," Eric said.

He actually looked extremely bored even though his voice held a teasing tone. I shook my head gently as he pushed the needle into my neck. The plunger went down and I felt the liquid flood into my veins. It was horrible. It felt like I was drowning from the inside. I tried to remind myself before I faded that Eric didn't know what I was. He couldn't know. It was the last rational thought that flit through my mind before the world went dark.

When the world faded back into view I glanced around the room. I was standing in a room that was extremely familiar to me. It was the training room. Everything looked like it normally did, except that it was empty other than me. I was looking around to see if anyone was lurking in the corner waiting for me. I had a feeling that I was going to get attacked soon. These sims never went well for too long. I saw a shadow move through the corner and I followed it closely.

The figure stepped out and I smiled. It wasn't who I had expected it to be. It was Eric. He walked up to me slowly and a knot formed in my stomach. Was I somehow still afraid of him? He grabbed me along the back of the neck before pulling me in for a kiss. It was deep and passionate and I smiled against his lips.

His hands wound their way around my waist and I grinned, giving a little laugh. They squeezed my waist possessively and I gave a soft chuckle. But I sobered quickly. This was still a sim. Something was bound to go wrong. But I smiled anyways. He was watching this on the other side. I had to pretend that I didn't realize that this wasn't real. I just wanted it to hurry up. I wanted to know what was about to happen.

"Hey. Is everything alright?" I asked him softly.

He nodded and smiled at me. I knew that something was wrong right off of the bat. He never smiled at me like that. His smile never looked somewhat fake like that. He was always amused when he smiled. He looked a little cold. I had to pretend that I didn't know what was going on. So I gave him a smile. Eric leaned forward to give me another soft kiss on the lips. It was one of the sweetest ways that I had ever seen him. It was strange. Maybe my fear was of him changing? His hands were sitting on my hips gently.

"Come on. Let's spar," he said.

Eric moved us into the center of the room. We were back into the same rings that I had fought my opponents with. "Sparring, huh?" I asked.

Eric nodded at me. "Just for a while," he said lowly.

"I would have thought that by now you'd know I'd be able to beat your ass," I teased.

It was a lie and we both knew it. Eric grinned as we ducked into a fighting stance. It felt like it was another normal day. It didn't feel like it was a fear sim. I followed him into the fighting stance. We circled each other for a minute before Eric came charging at me, just like I had been expecting him to do. I was too slow to move out of his way and he tackled me to the ground. We both went sprawling out, myself underneath him. His hands grasped at my flailing arms and he pinned me down.

Using all of the strength that I had, I tried to kick my leg into his side but he stepped down on my knee, probably putting a little more force into it than necessary. His hands were tight in my hair, yanking it to the side. But it wasn't the way that I liked it in the bedroom. It fucking hurt. This whole thing hurt. His feet were down on my shins and I cried out as he angled them onto me harder. He was genuinely hurting me.

"Eric. Get off. It's just a sparring match and you're hurting me," I told him desperately.

He didn't care. I had a terrible feeling that he wouldn't care no matter what I said. This was a fear sim and I was afraid of him. I should have known. I was afraid of him hurting me. He yanked my head off to the side again and I groaned at the pain. His hand came down onto my cheek and I cried out at the sudden pain. I tried to yell for him to stop once more but he ignored me, raining another hit down onto my eye. My face gave a little twinge and I tried to wiggle away from him.

"No. I don't think that I will. Look at you. You can't even fight against me," he sneered.

"Get off!" I shouted.

I didn't want to hit him but I had to do something. I swung out at him to punch him but he was faster. He grabbed my arms and wrenched them off to the side. There was a little popping in my shoulder and I cried out as he dislocated it. He was smiling at me. My shins were killing me as I tried to wiggle away from him. But his grip was too tight on me. I wasn't going to be able to move until he let me.

"Eric. What are you doing? Come on. Let me up!" I yelled.

He laughed. His arms were still tight over me. He wasn't going to fight, but he was about to end this thing. "The little Amity," he purred.

He knew that it was the one insult that would always get to me. "Please stop," I begged.

"I remembered that night when you were in Roberts's apartment and they were about to kill you. Remember me saving you? How you threw yourself at me after it happened? How I made you think that I could possibly care for a poor, pathetic, little Amity like you? I can't believe you actually fell for it!"

Eric continued to laugh as I sat, frozen, underneath him. His body was strong against mine, but I wasn't lusting after him. I wanted him away from me. I knew just how dangerous Eric could be. In my sim he would be even worse. He laughed as I threw up my hips to buck him off, but it did nothing. He was too heavy.

Instead of merely watching me struggle like the Eric I knew would have, he threw a fist down at my face. I ducked out of the way but I was too slow. The hit landed directly on me and I cried out as my nose crunched underneath his hand. He spit out a few nasty curses at me. He sounded like he really meant it. But it was just a sim. I knew that.

"You're lying. I know you are," I said pathetically.

My words were a challenge to get out as the blood that was filling my nasal cavities was making my voice stuffy and hard to understand. "Am I?" he mocked.

Even when we had hated each other he had never spoken to me this way. He had never acted this way with me. "I know you are," I mumbled desperately.

"Remember when you threw the knife at me and I brought you out to the Chasm? I almost threw you over it. I should have. But there were cameras. And I couldn't lose my spot because of you."

His words stung even more than they should have, considering he had killed me in a sim. He hadn't even known that it was fake. "You don't mean that," I pleaded.

"So I decided to hurt you in a worse way. Make you think that I genuinely care for you and then, just when you think that you might have changed me, show you the truth," he snarled.

That was what hurt the most. His words could have been true. I had to believe that it was just the sim talking. I threw my knee up into his but I was sure that it hurt me more than it hurt him. He responded to my hit almost instantly as he threw his fist directly into my stomach. I rolled over as much as he allowed and spit out some blood. His laugh was loud and teasing. He was enjoying this. But I didn't believe him. Eric cared about me. I knew that he did. Maybe he didn't love me but I didn't care. I knew that some part of him cared.

"That isn't the truth. Tell me, after everything that you've told me about your family, your childhood, your fears, that you don't care at all for me. You didn't do all of this to hurt me," I said.

Unlike the real Eric, no flash of emotion went through his eyes. I knew that I had caught the sim. Eric did care for me. As much as he wanted to admit that he didn't care about anyone other than himself I knew that he cared about me. He had made that much obvious. He would have never told me any stories about himself if I meant that little to him.

"But I did. How can you be so stupid to think that I would really care for you? I've told you before, no woman will ever change me," he snarled.

He wasn't wrong about that. My Eric had said that. "I never asked you to change," I begged.

"You know Sarah? You mean as much to me as she did. Probably less. At least she was good in bed," he said with a laugh.

And that fucking hurt to hear. Eric had never let Sarah spend the night in his bed. He hadn't even listened to her when she spoke. He looked as bored as someone could be when she talked to him. He at least looked amused when we talked. I knew that he cared about me. He had to care about me.

"You don't mean that," I said.

"I do."

My voice was wavering with the tears that were building up in my eyes. Even though I knew that it wasn't real that didn't mean that it didn't hurt to hear Eric say all of the things that I was the most afraid of happening. He cared. There was no chance that he didn't care about me. There had to be a little piece of him that cared about me.

"Tell me that you've spent the past two and a half months hating me. All building up to this moment. You told me about your parents. You told me about Cameron. You told me about everything. You even let me see one of your fears. Your fear was having to kill me!" I yelled. I was trying to keep calm but it was hard. This felt like my Eric. Even though I knew it wasn't. "You have to care."

I was half talking to this Eric and half to the one that was watching. I couldn't help but to wonder what that Eric was thinking right now. "You think that it's that hard to make a fear like that? It isn't. And remember, I killed you in that fear. I'll kill you now," he snarled.

He wasn't wrong. He did kill me in that fear. Even though I could tell that he regretted it he had still killed me. "You didn't want to," I whispered.

"You've asked for it. For all of it. The cameras in the Chasm? They're disabled today. Undergoing maintenance. Good timing, wouldn't you agree?" he asked me with a smile. So it wasn't just to hear him insult me. He was going to kill me. "I don't care about you, Amity. And now I'm going to show you just how little you mean to me."

His words hurt, but his movements hurt even more. His hands wrapped around my hair and I screamed loudly as he stood from me and began to drag me through the training room. I could feel the hair tearing and my scalp burning but I fought against him. I kicked at him and screamed again, praying that someone would come. But I knew that no one would. Eric was walking us directly towards the Chasm and tears were now leaking out. Partially from the pain and partially from the fear.

I sent back a kick at Eric's leg and managed to connect. But he treated it as nothing more than a little brush of my foot. He stepped down on my shin and I screamed loudly as his hands tightened on my hair. As wildly as I thrashed, nothing deterred him. We finally made it into the Chasm as he threw me under the bars, letting my head dip over the rushing current. I was just barely able to wrap my legs around the bars to keep Eric from throwing me completely off to my untimely death.

"Eric! Please! Stop!" I begged as he gave me another hard shove.

"Just stop fighting. It makes it easier," he snarled.

He swiped my hands off of the railings and I screamed as my nails caught him across the face. He dropped my hands in pain and I wrapped them back around the pole. He didn't take long to recover as he stomped heavily on my leg before grabbing it and tossing it over the edge of the Chasm. I yelled out as I tried to force myself back up onto the walkway. Eric was toying with me. He wanted me to struggle before letting me die.

Fighting harder than I ever had before, I managed to pull myself back up onto the railing before he attacked me again. But that time I was ready. Even though I fell to the ground I wrapped my legs around his torso. He thought that he had the upper hand in this fight. But it was me. This was just a sim and I had to beat it.

"Stop fighting Amity," he said, somewhere in between laughing and screaming.

Once more he tried to toss me over the edge of the Chasm. I grabbed onto the railing and swung myself up without waiting. I knew that Eric was growing tired of the game. The next time he could get me over the edge of the Chasm he would kill me. As he grabbed me again I caught the edge of his shirt. It had clearly surprised him. We both went tumbling to the edge of the walkway as we sprawled across the cold railings. I brought my knees into my chest before sending the balls of my feet as hard as I could into Eric's chest. He was still recovering and the kick caught him off guard.

He went tumbling to the edge of the Chasm. As he slipped off I reached down to catch him. I was too slow. Despite desperately trying to catch his hand I missed. The water was making it too slippery. He fell over the edge of the Chasm and down into the waters below. He looked horrified in his last moments. I laid back down on the edge of the Chasm, freezing and soaked to the bone. Tears were flowing down my face as Eric's name escaped my lips softly. Blood was dripping out of my mouth and nose and I tried to wipe it away. But I couldn't. It was like I was paralyzed. It didn't last long before my eyes rolled back in my head.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I shot bolt upright in the chair and let out a few gasps. Despite knowing that it was a sim it made no difference. It always felt real. A little shout escaped my lips as I leaned forward. My chest was rising and falling rapidly as I leaned over the edge of the chair and dropped my head into my hands.

"You alright?" Eric asked behind me.

"No."

Despite saying that I wasn't okay, I barely nodded at him. He came to stand in front of me and I watched out of the corner of my eyes as he leaned in between my slightly open legs. One of his hands came to rest on each of my thighs. They were tighter than normal. There was something almost possessive about the way that he was holding me. He was rubbing small circles into my legs.

"You know that it was just a sim," he said softly.

It was as softly as I figured Eric was capable of. Once more I gave him a tiny nod. "I know," I said weakly.

My breathing was still heavy as Eric leaned into me. His hands wound their way up my sides and I let him move my hands away from my face when he reached them. Even though his face was steely I still saw the little flash of hurt in his eyes. I felt terrible. I knew that having to watch himself hurt me and not being able to do anything about it must have been terrible. I actually knew almost exactly what it felt like.

He was silent for a moment as we both merely stared at each other. It was clear that neither one of us knew what to say or do. What could we say or do? Nothing. Eric placed one hand on my hip and grabbed my hand with the other. He pressed a small kiss against the inside of my wrist and I felt my heart flutter slightly.

"Do you really think that I would do that?" Eric asked, stunning me out of my thoughts.

There was no emotion on his face but I could tell that my sim had hurt him. "No," I answered immediately.

But I wasn't really sure that it was the true answer and it seemed like Eric knew that too. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered again, softer this time. "I guess some part of me does. Think about what you told me once, Eric. You told me that no one really meant anything to me. How many times did you tell me that I meant nothing to you?"

I didn't need to hear the answer. I already knew that it was far too many times. "I never meant it," he muttered.

But could I believe him? "You did throw me off of the Chasm once, to be fair," I said.

And that was completely true. He had thrown me off of the Chasm. Or he had backed me into the Chasm railing and it gave way. He clearly wasn't amused with my poor attempt at humor. He looked a little bothered that I would even bring up the Chasm incident. We rarely spoke about it. In fact was almost never spoke about it.

"It was an accident. You should know, I wouldn't ever do that. I'm not going to hurt you. No matter what you think," he said.

I gave him a blank nod. He would. He didn't know it yet, but he would. The second that he found out what I was he was going to kill me. Hurt me. Something. But we would never go back to this. Without giving me a second to regain my thoughts Eric pushed me back against the wall and pinned me in between his arms.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

That comment had thrown me. Did I trust him? I wasn't completely sure. "What?" I asked stupidly.

His body was close to mine and I felt myself give a small shiver as his hands landed at my hips. "Do you trust me?" he repeated.

It took me a moment but I finally gathered my thoughts. "Yes," I said.

He didn't smile at me but I could tell that a little flash of happiness passed through his eyes. "Good," he mumbled.

His body forced itself into mine and all protests in my mouth went out the window as his mouth attached itself to mine. My hands wound their way around his neck as his wrapped around my waist and pulled me as close to him as possible. We moved together for a moment as his tongue slipped into my mouth. My hands wound their way down his back and underneath his shirt. His muscles were tensing underneath my hands and I smirked into his mouth. It was obvious that he was intending on finishing this later as his hands tightened against my hips. He finally pulled away from me and stared at me with dark eyes.

"Go to dinner," he said.

He was panting slightly, clearly out of breath. He had once more left me stunned. He always left me stunned. It seemed to be one of the many gifts that Eric had. I nodded stupidly at him and turned back from Eric. He leaned forward and I laughed softly as his lips traced the skin on the back of my neck. My hair was pulled up and I was damned glad that it was. I laughed softly under my breath as his hands once more came to rest on my hips.

"For the record, I really don't think that you would throw me off of the Chasm. For a second time anyways," I teased.

Eric snorted. We had moved past the Chasm incident. It still sent shivers down my spine to think about but I knew that the entire situation was an accident. Neither one of us had meant what had happened that day. Eric's lips were barely brushing my spine as I leaned back and let my hips fall against his.

"And I knew that it wasn't real."

I could feel him smirking into my neck as he gave me a soft hum. "How?" he asked.

"You called me bad in bed. Worse than Sarah."

He laughed against my neck and I smiled to myself. The vibrations from his laughter sent chills down my spine as I smirked to myself once more. At least I had a feeling that he was agreeing with me. Or he had damn well better. I would have been super embarrassed had he said that I really was worse than him.

"Trust me, you're much better than she was. You're better than them all," he mumbled against my neck.

"You're better than the rest of them, too," I said.

"I never had a doubt," Eric said haughtily.

A blush rose to my face. I wasn't sure but I was thinking that he might have been talking about more than in bed. Or maybe that was just what I wanted to think. He gave me a gentle nudge in the back and I knew that he was telling me that it was time to get out. I nodded at him and without bothering to turn back and tell him that I would be back later I headed out into the halls.

As the door closed behind me I could hear Eric moving around. I didn't bother to slow and wait for him as I headed out and moved into the main dining room. My friends were all at the table that we normally sat at and I walked over to them. A plate was already laid out for me in between Buck and Heather.

"Hey, Alex," Draven greeted.

"Hey, guys," I chirped back.

Everyone else greeted me as I took my normal seat. Since I was normally never in the dining room before six, being the number one ranked initiate, the kitchen was almost always closed. My friends had been good about getting me food before the kitchen closed. They had gotten me a normal burger today.

"You know I think that you're the most chipper of us that I've seen come back from the fear sims with Eric," Draven told me.

It made me laugh softly. All of the rest of my friends seemed to think that it was pretty funny too as they all laughed with me. Some of them looked a little off and I knew that it was because they had been forced to deal with Eric all day. I knew that he wasn't easy to deal with. Especially the initiates. Eric had never been one to like us very much. Hell, it had taken him five months just to realize that he didn't completely hate me.

"Dealing with Eric today reminded me of just how good we have it with Four," Dante said.

I smiled softly as all of my friends mumbled their agreement. "What did he do to you?" Heather asked.

"I thought that he was going to kill me when I took more than nine minutes in my fear sim," Dante said.

Once more everyone laughed softly. I was pretty sure that today it had taken me about five minutes to get out of my fear sim. I knew that it beat Eric's average time. He had admitted to me that he had averaged eight minutes during his time as an initiate. Although that was still impressive.

"At least you only took nine!" Jax yelled.

I smiled softly at him. That seemed a little long for him. He was normally in and out in a pretty short amount of time. "How long did you take?" I asked curiously.

"I had a new fear today and it took me a little over eleven minutes to solve it. Eric called me pathetic, and other things that I care not to repeat, before literally throwing me out of the room," Jax said.

Poor Jax. Even with a new fear it had only taken me about five minutes. "Sounds like Eric," Buck said.

"Does anyone know what happened to Four and when the hell he's coming back?" Jax asked.

Of course I knew but I wasn't sure that I should tell them. Would it sound bad if I told them that I had found out what was wrong with Four because I had gone to visit him while I was supposed to be waiting for my fear sim? Everyone at the table was shaking their heads so I decided that I might as well let them know. Maybe they wouldn't ask how I knew.

"Four is sick," I finally said.

"Sick?" Heather asked.

"He ate the fish last night and he has food poisoning. He's gonna be back in a few days," I explained.

Thankfully they weren't going to ask me how I found out that Four was sick. "And just how did you get out of your fear sim with him unscathed?" Buck asked.

My eyes shot over to him at his words. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"The two of you used to barely be able to go a few hours without trying to kill each other," he said.

I smiled at them. "I think we all remember their magnificent fights," Dante said, laughing at the memories.

He was right about that. But there was no way that I could tell him the truth. That Eric and I were sort-of together. Heather was smiling as well, glancing down into her lap. It was a strange story and I would have to be pretty fast about whatever it was that I wanted to tell them. Anything other than the truth, that is.

"Eric yelled at me just because he saw that I was afraid of my family all turning their backs on me. He told me that it was cowardly. And the whole Faction before blood nonsense," Buck mumbled.

Sighing softly, I nodded. Of course. It wasn't just because of the Faction before blood thing. Eric hated anything to do with family all because of his own. And I understood that. I thought about saying something, but I knew that Eric's hatred for his family wasn't any of my business to tell them about.

"Well it was probably because I get out of my fear sims so fast," I said softly.

I knew that everyone was amazed that I had gotten out of the sim room without being beaten half to death or crying. "He just let you go unscathed?" Cole asked.

"He didn't have time to be annoyed with me. And he still snapped at me," I lied.

Heather was staring at me like she knew that it was a lie. And of course she knew that it was a lie. She knew that any time Eric snapped at me it was more than likely a joke. She was actually giving me a look that told me that she knew what I would be doing tonight. My cheeks burned as I looked back at the boys.

"I just tried to brush him off. That's the way that I've learned that you have to handle him," I said, and that time it was truthful.

Heather was smiling at me and I turned to look at her. "Very impressive, darling," Heather told me with a smirk.

I couldn't help but to grin back at her. We both leaned in to hug each other and ignored the eye rolls that we were getting from the boys. They didn't understand just how funny it was that they still thought that Eric and I hated each other. I did appreciate that Heather wasn't insulting Eric. I figured that it was because I was around.

"He didn't really yell at me during my sim. He just snapped at me to make it fast," she admitted with a shrug.

Part of me wondered if that was actually the truth. I also wanted to know how Eric treated my best friend when I wasn't around. Off to my side I heard Cole groan and I turned over to look at him. He had his head in his hands and I imagined that nothing good had happened in his fear.

"Well I'm sure it was better for all of you than it was for me!" Cole yelled.

Everyone that hadn't been looking turned over to look at him. We were all wondering what he was talking about. "What are you talking about?" Heather asked.

"My fucking fear had Eric in it," Cole said softly and I snorted.

I knew how that felt. But our fears were of totally different things. And mine hurt as much as it scared me. "What happened?" Heather asked, stifling her laughter.

"All of the Dauntless members were coming towards me and fighting with me. They were all attacking me and I thought that I was going to die. Four and Eric were leading the attack. I'd never seen him look as happy as he was when I woke up and he realized that I was afraid of him," he said softly.

Once more I snorted loudly. But it wasn't me that drew the most attention to me. It was Jet. He was laughing louder than I had ever heard him. It had been since before Raven had left Dauntless that I'd heard him laugh that loudly. I assumed that he certainly hadn't had Eric in his fear.

"Dude, come on. You're afraid of Eric?" Jet asked.

Cole nodded slowly keeping his head aimed at the table. "Who isn't?" Cole asked.

"Everyone... but in your sim? And Four! They're both a little a little scary when they want to be but I wouldn't be too scared that they were going to actually hurt us."

I blanched at his words but managed to maintain a smile. He had no clue. No clue about anything that was really going on. "They would definitely hurt us," Buck said.

"Fair point," Jax added.

"He just looked pissed when I was in there. I'm guessing that he really didn't want to deal with us today. He probably thinks that doing the fear sims are below him," Jet said.

He was definitely right about that. And, as much as I hated to admit it, doing the fear sims were below him. The fear sims weren't what his job was. He was a leader. All his job said was that he was a leader and had to do whatever it was that kept the Faction running smoothly. He had better things to do than take care of the initiates fear sims.

"They kind of are," Heather said.

I glanced over at her. Even though Eric didn't have to deal with the initiates and we all knew it I didn't think that anyone was going to say anything against it. "What do you mean?" Cole asked his girlfriend.

"I mean come on, he's a leader. Clearly he earned his spot on leadership. I wouldn't want to have to come back and take care of the initiates just because the trainer got food poisoning. Honestly I'm surprised Max asked Eric to do it and not someone else that works in surveillance or something," Heather continued.

I shrugged at her. She was right. It would probably be a better idea to give one of the other men in surveillance the job of training the initiates. Of course there was also the issue that Max wanted someone that he trusted to be watching over the initiates. He really wanted them to be watching over me. It sent a shiver down my spine.

"Max wants someone he trusts looking over the initiates," I mumbled.

Everyone else nodded. I knew the real reason that Eric had been asked to watch over the initiates and the fear sims. He wanted to see whether or not Eric was going to find out that I was Divergent. It seemed that Max trusted Four enough, but I knew that he trusted Eric more than anyone else.

"He trusts Eric. More than he probably trusts a lot of other people in this Faction," I added.

Everyone gave a little nod. It took a few moments but the conversations started up once more. This time they were lighter hearted. It didn't take very long for us to fall back into our normal routines. We were all laughing loudly and teasing each other, yelling back and forth as loudly as we could. We were pretty much mirroring everyone else in the dining room.

We all headed into the Pit once I had finished with dinner. I had gone straight to dancing. Even when I had been dancing with Buck, Dante, and Jax, I had wondered if Eric would ever be the type to want to dance with me. Probably not. He didn't seem like the type to like to dance. The boys were all terrible dancers. I also danced with Heather, Lisa, and Serena. We were all having fun together. A few hours after dinner we were all sitting at a table together and I shifted, getting ready to leave. I saw Eric head back to his apartment not long ago.

Not bothering to wait for anyone to continue a conversation with me I gave Heather a quick nod and she smiled. She knew what I was doing. I said a quick goodnight and everyone turned from their conversations to nod and say goodnight back to me. Tonight I was going to stay in Eric's apartment. I hadn't been there recently. At least not to stay the night.

Besides I had told all of my friends this morning that I wasn't going to come back to the dorms tonight. They had all teased me but they were still supportive. And they didn't blame me. I was glad to see that everyone else seemed to be getting it on at least on occasion. And I meant everyone. Besides Amity, Dauntless seemed to be the most for open love.

"Good night, guys. I'll see everyone at breakfast tomorrow!" I yelled as I left from the table.

"Tell your man that we say hello!" Buck yelled after me.

I smiled to myself and laughed when I heard Heather give the loudest barking laugh. Everyone at the table turned to ask her what was so funny but I left before she could answer. Heather was no moron. I trusted her not to say anything to our friends. At least not about who my man was. If anything she was going to confuse them even more. And I appreciated that. I headed through the halls and chirped a quick hello to Cameron. He was leaning over a girl with green and black hair.

Clearly the blue haired girl hadn't worked out. This one seemed to be a little more open to listening to him. She was smiling and twirling her hair. As I listened to Cameron I realized exactly why. He acted just like Eric. They both knew how to turn on the charm when they needed to. As I passed them Cameron gave me a little smirk and I blushed softly. He knew exactly where I was going. And maybe one day it wouldn't embarrass me.

It didn't take me long to come up to Eric's door and when I did, I walked inside. For the first time that I had ever come into the apartment I saw that the lights were off. Eric rarely had the lights off. Hell, sometimes we slept with the lights on. I cocked my head to the side as I walked in. Maybe I was insane. I could have sworn that I had seen him walking back here earlier. Maybe he was headed somewhere else. Like Cameron's apartment. Or his office. I was so stupid.

He hadn't given me any nod or anything. I should have known that he wasn't coming back here. It felt so strange to be in the apartment without him. I had never been in here without him. I turned to leave but a hand reached out and threw me against the wall. I reached out to punch the figure but I was too slow. They pressed me back against the wall and I had no room to move.

"Good to see you," Eric purred.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I stared at his outline. Fucking asshole. I should have figured that it was his way to pull a little prank on me. I couldn't believe that he had done something like that. Actually I could believe that he had done something like that. I was shocked that he hadn't done something like that earlier. It was so in his nature to scare the shit out of me.

"Eric! You scared the hell out of me! What's wrong with you?" I snarled.

"I just wanted to give you a little surprise."

"I hate surprises."

Eric merely laughed as he pressed me back against the wall again. He had let me move a little bit but he still had me stuck in my spot. I wanted to slap him more than anything else. But I wouldn't. No matter how much I wanted to. I let him tilt back my head and kiss me. His tongue dipped into my mouth and I smiled into the kiss. My hands traveled over his back and I bunched up the bottom of the material of his shirt.

He grabbed my thighs and I smirked, knowing that he had been waiting for this all day. I had been waiting for this all day too. I had really wanted it when we were in the sim room and now I could finally get it. Just when I thought that he was going to let me go he grabbed my thighs and lifted me up. I let out a little yell as he tossed me over his shoulder, keeping a steely grip on my legs.

"Eric!" I yelled, trying to thrash around.

He merely laughed at me. I knew that I wasn't strong enough to get away from him but that didn't mean that I wasn't going to try. He walked us over to the bed and shrieked as he let go of me slightly. I nearly went crashing face first into the ground before Eric tightened his grip on me once more. I knew that it was his warning to stay still. And I did.

He walked to the edge of the bed before tossing me over his shoulder and letting me flop to the bed. I grunted as I bounced a few times. That had actually hurt a little more than I had thought that it would. He climbed over the top of me and I blushed softly. For some reason I wasn't expecting him to look quite as intense as he did.

"I won't hurt you," he said and I smiled.

I knew that he was saying it because of earlier. "I know you won't," I whispered.

"But I will torture you."

And I didn't bother to think into that. I knew what he meant. And I wanted it. I laughed loudly as he reached for my shirt. He gave me no chance to protest as he lifted the shirt from my shoulders and pulled it free from my body. It went floating to the floor and I laughed softly again. Our lips met in another heated kiss as he reached for the button on my pants. I wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted my hips up to meet his. He was wasting no time tonight.

I went to reach for his shirt but hissed in pain when he slapped my hand away. It was his own way of telling me that he was in charge tonight. His hands were bruising against my hips and I groaned into his mouth. I was going to have fun explaining those to Heather. He traced open-mouthed kisses down my body and I groaned, letting my head fall back slightly. I shivered underneath his touch, wishing that he would be a little rougher.

It turned out that I almost immediately got my wishes. It wasn't long before he hooked his hands into my pants and tore them off. They scraped against the side of my legs and I yelped in slight pain. All that earned me was a smack on the ass. I yelped once more but that one Eric let go. Mostly because he knew how much I liked the pain. There was something seriously wrong with me. This was the part of me that Eric managed to bring out.

I just wished that I had been able to do this for a long time before meeting him. Maybe I would have been a little more open to doing something with him long before we actually had. Eric was grinning down at me and I rolled my eyes. He was clearly enjoying keeping me under his control. My pants went flinging off of the bed and I smirked to myself. At least he was the type that enjoyed being dominant. I had always hated that Florian would always let me lead. Maybe he was different with Iris.

Eric kissed up my torso and in between the valley of my breasts. He was very deliberate in not touching any of the places that I wanted him the most. He really knew how to keep me right on the edge. Desperate to get more of a touch from him, I wrapped my legs around his waist as I leaned my head back. I desperately tried to open up all of my skin to him, hoping that he would touch me. He did, but not quite the way that I wanted.

Eric's tongue followed my neck up so that he could kiss the spot in between my neck and my shoulder. I gave a soft shiver as he took a soft nip on my neck. His teeth followed up my neck and I groaned as one of his hands wrapped in my hair and tugged my neck off to the side. I tried to reach for his shirt again but he slapped my hands away once more. I hissed in pain and recoiled away from him. But another kiss planted on my lips made me open right back up to him.

He pushed my legs apart and I smirked into the kiss. Finally he was going to give me the one thing that I wanted more than anything else. Eric was still fully clothed and I knew that it was because he wanted to see all of me. He wanted me to completely bare myself before he was going to take anything off of himself. He liked knowing that he could do everything to me and I would be useless to stop him. I didn't want to stop him.

I felt his hands reach up my back before popping off the hook from the bra. He reached for it roughly and tore the offending garment off of me. Like the rest of my clothing it went flying across the room. I laughed and shook my head as Eric pulled away from me for a moment to look in between my legs. I blushed deeply as he shifted my underwear off to one side.

It didn't even matter that he didn't wait for me to tell him that he could. He knew that I was already wet from him. And that was the truth. He barely needed to touch me to make me wet. Plus I was never going to deny him whatever he wanted. Mostly because I wanted it just as much as he did. His lips clamped down over my nipple and I moaned loudly, arching my back off of the bed, as one finger slid inside of me. Feeling like my back would break at any moment, I lifted my back off of the bed again.

He clearly didn't like that. He grabbed my hips and shoved them back into the bed. It almost hurt me a little bit. But I still liked how rough he was with me. I groaned as he curled his finger inside of me and his teeth closed softly over my nipple. He came back to my mouth and kissed me deeply. My groans were echoing in his mouth.

I opened my mouth and waited for something to come out. But they weren't words. It was more like a string of profanities mixed with nonsensical words. He rocked me to my core and made it almost impossible for me to say anything to him. My eyes opened long enough to stare up at him. His eyes were dark as he slid his finger in and out of me. I was panting as he shoved my legs apart a little further and stuck another finger inside of me. He continued to curl it in me as he bit and nipped at my peaked nipple.

I was moaning loudly and spilling his name from my mouth as he leaned down in front of me and twirled his tongue around my clit. I let out another loud yell of his name and I groaned as he began to suck on it. He knew exactly what to do as his tongue circled my clit and he went in between sucking on it and giving soft bites. It hurt and felt good all at the same time as he continued to pump and curl his fingers inside me.

My juices were sliding over my thighs and I was panting as the bundle of nerves settled in my stomach. Eric pressed one hand against my lower stomach to keep me from moving. I wanted his so badly and he knew it. Eric would always know just how badly I wanted him. It made me happier to know that he wanted me too. Just the same way.

"Eric. God. Fuck me," I panted pathetically.

A soft laugh came from his mouth as he leaned up long enough to look me in the eyes. His were lidded and I let my eyes slip closed for a moment. It was almost impossible to see anyways, considering that I was having such a hard time keeping my eyes open at his actions. The moment that I managed to open my eyes I could see that his pants were tight around his crotch. He was as ready for me as I was for him.

"Come for me first."

I moaned and nodded, rolling my hips with his fingers. My heart was hammering in my chest as my body began to give soft spasms. He knew that he had me right on the edge and I knew that it wouldn't take me much longer to get there. The bundle of nerves was getting tighter and I knew that I was about to come undone.

"Come on," Eric growled at me.

His tongue swirled around my clit once more and I yelled out loudly. That was it. Stars exploded behind my eyes and they slipped closed as I felt myself release. It flowed over my thighs and his sheets as he pulled out of me. My entire body was giving spasms as Eric came back up to kiss me once more. Our lips moved together as I panted heavily. All I wanted was him. As my orgasm subsided Eric decided to take it upon himself to strip free from his clothes, allowing me to recover.

It was obvious that he was ready to get his own pleasure. I tried to help him remove his clothing but his hand came down to pinch my clit, making me cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain. I really wasn't sure which one was dominant. His shirt came off quickly followed by his boxers and jeans. They were tossed across the room as Eric leaned over me once more. His hands went down over my wrists and he pinned me against the bed. He was kneeling in between my thighs and I let out a deep breath as he shoved himself inside of me.

He gave me no warning and I cried out as he stretched my walls out. I wasn't sure if I had been expecting it or not. My pants were heavy as he rested himself inside of me and leaned against my chest. I let out a few breaths before he began to move once more. He wasn't slow or soft. He pounded into me the same way that I had always loved.

My legs were spread as far as they could go as he pumped in and out of me. My entire body was quaking as I felt another orgasm creep up on me. No one had ever been able to make me come undone as fast as Eric could. He was fast and harsh for nearly half an hour, far longer than anyone else I'd ever been with. It thrilled me just how long he could last. It only made me wrack through another two orgasms while he rode against me.

We went back and forth, Eric leaning over me and trapping me against him, us rolling together as he somehow managed to keep moving, me riding on top of him briefly, him pressing into me from behind, and him throwing my legs over his shoulders, going at it as hard as possible. We were currently back in the same old position of him pounding into me from behind. My legs were shaking as he pulled me up against his torso and slammed into me at a furious pace.

My hands wound around the back of his neck to turn my head and kiss him. Our tongues mixed together as he shoved into me a few more times. He was panting in my ear and I knew that he was close. One of his hands came up to grasp my my chest, keeping me almost glued against him. Not that I would have moved.

His name slipped from my mouth as my body went into spasms once more and he twisted me around. I was underneath him as we both rode out our orgasms and I felt him spill himself into me. My breath was coming in pants as I whispered his name. He leaned forward against me and kissed me softly on the lips. The kiss turned harsher as he pulled out of me and rolled us over. He shoved the sheets back and slipped us underneath of them. We were both panting and sweating as we laid underneath the covers.

Eric leaned over to give me another kiss and I laughed softly as my hands ran down his body. There was something about just touching him that made my heart race. My nails made his stomach muscles tighten and I smirked. At least I knew that I could make him like this. I hoped that I was the only one that could have ever made him feel like this.

"Just so you know," Eric started and I turned to look at him. He was still panting.

"What?" I asked softly.

"You're so much better than she was. Than they all were."

"Am I?" I asked.

"In every way."

There was something about the way that he spoke that made me smile. It was almost like he was drunk, the way that he was speaking to me. I assumed that it was as close to him telling me that he cared about me that he would ever get. I smiled and leaned over to kiss him again. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him. The kiss was searing as I leaned into him once more, letting my hand trail a little lower on his waist than was probably appropriate.

"Let me prove it again," I whispered in his ear.

My teeth very gently grazed across the back of his neck and I felt his entire body tense slightly. Eric smirked at me and went to ask me what I was doing but he never got the chance. I leaned down in between his legs and took him into my mouth. He stiffened nearly immediately and his head tilted backwards. He pushed back against the pillows and his hands went to knot themselves in my hair. It made me smirk softly, twirling my tongue around his head.

His grip tightening on my hair made me quicken my pace, and it helped that I saw that his eyes were rolling back in his head. He didn't let me stay in control of him for long. It quickly became him on top of me once more as he rocked himself back into me. And it wasn't even that one extra time. I wasn't sure whether it was three or four times, but it didn't matter. All I wanted was him against me, all night. And that was exactly what I got, enough to make it almost impossible for me to walk for the next two days.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter! **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **Derbygirl63: Thanks so much! It's coming up soon, Eric finding out that she's Divergent. I don't know, Eric isn't known to be very level-headed in situations ;) Yes, she has terrible fears. Poor girl. But there are reasons that I give her these fears. They'll eventually come up with a plan, but it's a short ways off. Hope you like this one!**

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you like this one too!**

 **Neko-fire demon tempest: No, not to worry about a mini Eric running around. Although that would be something! I imagine that Dauntless gives all girls a shot or something. Some type of birth control. So they're good on that regard. I hope that you liked this one too!**


	9. Chapter 9

I shot up in bed with a searing pain in my backside. My head had been thrust into the pillow and I had been sound asleep. Of course sleeping at Eric's apartment usually came with consequences. I shot up and groaned at the pain that was radiating through my lower half. I hadn't even meant to fall asleep here last night. I had been supposed to come back to the dorms.

Unfortunately Eric and I had spent a little too much time in his bed. I really had meant to be back to the dorms by eleven last night but it had been well past two in the morning by the time that we had finally fallen into bed. And by that time I had decided that I was not walking back to the dorms. It helped that Eric wasn't one to argue with me as long as it meant that he could get in one more round. He really was a pain in the ass.

And now it was literal as well. As I sat up in the bed the sheets pooled around my bare waist. No clothes were anywhere near me. I had a feeling that they were scattered all throughout the apartment and I knew that it was going to take forever to find them this morning. It always took me forever to find them. Mostly because we didn't really pay attention at night when we started throwing our clothes everywhere. At least he had his clean stuff in the drawers.

I really needed to leave a spare pair of clothes in the drawer or something. But I wasn't sure how Eric would feel about me leaving even one little thing in his apartment. I shook my head and my hair out around me and gave a soft groan. Eric was leaning at the edge of the bed and giving me a small smirk. He was such a dick. He smacked me in the ass as hard as possible to wake me up. I knew that I needed to leave before he decided to do it again.

"Get going, initiate," he snarled.

There was a teasing note in his voice and I rolled my eyes. He was such an ass about everything. I was already sore from last night and now he had made it a little worse. If it wasn't so much to smack me in the ass to wake me up, he also had to call me initiate and pretend that he hadn't done anything.

"Almost time for training," he continued.

"You're such an asshole," I groaned, rubbed my hands over my sore, and now rather pink, ass.

"I just wanted to wake you up," Eric explained.

"Oh, thanks for that."

There was a clear mark of Eric's hand and I scoffed. That damned mark would be there for a number of days. Now I realized that he had hit me a little harder than I'd actually thought that he did. He was laughing softly at me and I watched as he came to stand. He was wearing his work pants and his hair seemed to be done and ready for the day. How much longer had he been awake than me? Evidently long enough to get bored.

The only thing that he was lacking was a shirt. Of course. He liked to flaunt himself in front of me. He was such a woman sometimes. I rolled over in the bed and yawned. We were up far too late for me to be up this early to get to training. I just wanted to go back to bed. But I perked up slightly as I remembered that Eric had mentioned something about it getting close to being time for training. Was he being serious or was it a joke?

"What time is it?" I asked him slowly.

It was almost like I hadn't said anything. Eric ignored me for a good minute or two and I sighed, sitting upright in the bed and wrapping myself in the sheets. Eric walked around the room before grabbing a cup of coffee off of the counter and holding it to his mouth. He leaned back against the counter and smiled at me.

"Seven forty-eight," Eric answered.

His tone was extremely blasé and he acted like I was almost boring him. Asshole! He knew that it was because I was late. I had to be down to training at eight and I had been planning to run by the dorms to get some new clothes. I should have figured that he wouldn't wake me up. He enjoyed watching me being late. More like he enjoyed watching me struggle. He enjoyed watching me being frantic, and this was a frantic moment.

I shot up at his words and launched myself out of the bed. He was smirking at me over his cup of coffee. I knew that he was absolutely thrilled with himself. But damn him, I had to be at training down in the fear landscape room at eight o'clock without exceptions, as Four had told me more than once. I had twelve minutes left to be down there. This was the first time that we were going to be practicing the fear landscape and I was set to be late. Four was going to kill me.

"Why the hell didn't you wake me up earlier?" I snapped.

"I thought that you knew what time it was."

"How would I know what time it was? I was asleep!"

"Relax, Amity. I'm a leader. I'll just tell Four that you were busy."

"Doing what?" I sneered.

"Me."

Despite my panic and irritation towards Eric, I glanced up and snorted. "That'll go over well. Telling Four that I'm in a relationship that's explicitly against Dauntless rules and that's why I'm late. I had sex with him last night and fell asleep and he didn't wake me up this morning so I'm late to training," I groaned.

Eric glanced over at me. "Relationship?" he asked.

My heart lodged itself in my throat. Why the hell had I said that? "Uh..."

"Nice to see that you finally said it," Eric said, walking over to me.

He leaned over me and I felt my heart thumping in my chest. Had he really just been waiting to hear me say it? "You were just waiting for me to say it?" I asked dumbly.

Eric grinned and pressed a small kiss against my lips. "And you did it," he teased.

He walked away from me and my jaw dropped. "You -" I growled before cutting myself off. A soft blush fell over my face. He might have done it in an unconventional way, but he'd finally told me that we were in a relationship.

"You only have ten minutes left," Eric said blankly.

Eric was thumbing through his tablet as I jumped out of bed, flaunting everything. Even though he appeared to be in the middle of reading something riveting I knew that he was getting a kick out of watching me run around. I was trying to grab my clothes but they all seemed to be hidden from me. My cheeks were still flaming slightly from what Eric had just told me... Or I had told him. I really did like knowing that we were in a relationship together. It was something that I never thought that I would get from him.

Apparently he was waiting for this the entire time. The corners of his lips were turned up in a smirk. I had already found my underwear and bra, which was a miracle as usually they were the last things that I could find, but my shirt and pants were nowhere to be found. I awkwardly climbed into my bra and underwear as I dashed through the apartment. I finally found my shirt and tossed it on over my head. I was pretty sure that it was inside-out.

"Where the hell are my pants?" I muttered to myself.

Why was always either my underwear or pants that I could never find? Eric's apartment seemed to eat all of my clothes. "Here. I found these the other day," Eric said.

I turned to him to see that he was holding a pair of black shorts, clearly mine. He was enjoying himself too. He was holding my pants with one finger caught in the belt loop. I thanked him softly as he tossed them to me and caught them. Like the rest of my clothes I awkwardly climbed into them and tripped a few times.

"Or you could go without them," he said.

For once he wasn't pretending to be engrossed in something else. He was standing against his counter, staring at me. His eyes were following every curve on my body and he was giving me a suggestive smile. Of course that was what he would be thinking about. He wasn't going to get raked over the coals if he was late to something. I knew that if I was late Four would let me have it later. Especially because he would know exactly the reason that I was late.

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I snarled.

He walked over to me and I groaned, knowing exactly what it was that he wanted. "I would," Eric growled against my throat.

"Eric -" I whined.

"That'll only make it worse."

He was right about that. He had always liked hearing me say his name. He pinned me against the wall and I groaned, knowing that I needed to leave. Four was going to kill me if I was late. I had been late to training a few times before and I knew that he hated me being late. Especially because it was Eric that always made me late.

"Eric, I have to go. I'm going to be late," I told him softly.

"I don't care."

"I do. I need to be there for the fear landscape!"

My words didn't mean a thing to him. Instead he walked up closer to me and gave me a deep kiss. I groaned against him and let him wrap his arms around my waist. Our hips moved together and I wanted nothing more than to drag him back to bed. But I had shit to do. And I was sure that he did too.

"Since when did you care about being late?" he asked against my lips.

He had a point. I had been blatantly late to training a few times because I'd wanted one more round with him. "Since I had that nice shiny number one spot," I said.

"You'll still have it."

Would I? I wasn't so sure about that. Eric leaned over to kiss me again and I let him shove me back against the wall. I sighed as he placed his mouth against mine and kissed me roughly. I wanted him more than anything but I knew that it was time to leave. As much as it pained me to have to walk away.

Shoving Eric back away from me I pulled my mouth away from his. He looked upset that I had bothered to break the kiss but he knew that I had to leave. That didn't mean that he wanted me to leave. As I turned to walk away from him he tried to grab me back. For once I was able to pull away from him. I ripped my arm away and headed over to the door. He was following me and I felt his arms swinging, each time brushing against my thighs softly. I only had another three minutes until training started. At least the fear landscape room was close.

"I gotta go, Eric. I'll come back later tonight, alright?" I offered.

He stared at me for a moment before scoffing and shoving me away from him. "Fine. Go to your stupid training," he growled.

I stumbled for a moment before straightening back up. "You're so sweet," I said under my breath.

I turned back for a moment to see that Eric was giving me a sideways grin. "Try not to go too slow during your fear landscape," Eric warned.

I knew that they were still evaluating us with times. There was still the slightest chance that I could be knocked from the number one spot. "I won't," I said.

"You're only going to be doing it once, alright?" he informed me, coming to stand at my side.

That was news to me. We were only doing the fear landscape once as practice. As far as I had been led to believe it was just like the fear sims. We practiced them every day until we made it to the end of Phase Three. No one had bothered to tell us that we would only be getting to try them only once. That would make the final fear landscape much more difficult. We might have already seen our fears but we wouldn't get the same practice that we had gotten for Phase Two.

"What? What do you mean that I'm only going to be doing it once?" I asked.

Naturally Eric wasn't going to tell me anything. He liked to watch me panic. "Four and Lauren will explain. Out," he said.

I rolled my eyes but stopped short as I realized that he had said Lauren. I wasn't aware that we were going to be working with Lauren. In fact I hadn't seen her since the first day in Dauntless. And I was pretty sure that I'd only heard her speak the once to tell everyone to go with her.

Eric walked up to me once more and I smiled as he gave me a deep kiss. A little sigh escaped my lips as his hands trailed up my waist and caught around the edge of my shirt. He pushed me back against the doorway and I smiled into the kiss. He was trying to get me to stay. As much as I wanted to I knew that I had to leave. There was no way that I was going to get away with being late to training again. So I pulled away from him and gave him a gentle nudge backwards. He smirked at me.

"Two minutes. Run fast," Eric said with a bright grin.

He gave me a quick wink and I rolled my eyes at him. What was it with him and constantly trying to make me look like a fool? "I hate you," I snapped.

Eric was grinning from ear to ear when I leaned in and kissed him once more. "No you don't," he said against my lips.

"You're right. Later!" I shouted before turning and dashing from the apartment.

It gave him no chance to say anything back to me. I was headed straight out of the hall when I saw Cameron. He was headed straight for me but I had no time to stop. Besides he was probably only here to head to Eric's apartment. He opened his mouth to speak to me but I yelled over him.

"Late to training. Have a good day, Cameron!" I yelled as I brushed by him.

"Good luck!" he shouted back, through a laugh.

As I dashed through the halls of the Dauntless compound a few members jumped out of my way, all smiling at me. I had become a fan favorite among the Dauntless members and they all seemed to know that I was notorious for being late. I wondered if any of them knew the reason why.

My mind flashed back to the past few days and everything that had been going on. It seemed that I was stuck with six fears. It was rather odd considering that everyone else seemed to have at least eight. But Four was still under the assumption that if I did have more fears they would reveal themselves during the fear landscape. Something that I would evidently only be allowed to practice once.

I wished that Eric or Four would have told me more about what to expect from the fear landscape. But I knew that they couldn't. They still had to be impartial. No matter what they both felt for me. Even though I was with Eric and like a sister to Four they still had to treat me the same as the other initiates. All that they had told me was that it was pretty terrifying. They had both told me that it was intimidating to have to face all of your fears back-to-back without having a break.

Some people took apparently close to half an hour. I had even heard of it bordering on an hour. I knew that it was going to take a long time for me to get out of the fear landscape, especially since I would have to be concerned with people watching other than Four. Even though Jeanine and Max knew what I was, I still had to keep it a secret.

It had been two weeks since I had seen my last fear. The fear of Eric trying to kill me. It was not a fear that I enjoyed dealing with. It still bothered me to have to go in there and have him beat the hell out of me but I was able to beat him every time. Other than being able to complete my final fear sim nothing much else had happened over the past two weeks.

I'd faced a few of my fears over again and Four had told me more than once that I might really only have six fears. He was impressed with me either way. I was impressed with myself. It seemed that most of my friends had around ten fears. A few nights over the past two weeks I had spent the night with Eric as well. I spent a lot of time around him these days. I enjoyed spending time with him even though he annoyed me more than anything else.

More than once when I had been with him I wondered just how close I was to the end of my relationship with Eric. There were only two weeks left until the end of initiation and that meant that I was going to have to deal with it. There was a chance that I could deal with it before then but I wasn't sure what I could possibly say to Eric. I wasn't sure how to go about it. And I especially wasn't sure that I wanted to know what he was going to do once he found out the secret that I'd kept from him for months.

Despite all of my thoughts about what was going on with Eric I was still ensuring that I kept up my times in training. I still had to make sure that I sat at the top of the leader board. I wasn't sure if my rank dropping would make things even worse with Jeanine than they already were. I knew that unless I started seriously fucking up during training no one would be able to take over the number one spot.

A few months ago I would have been thrilled to see that I was totally safe in the number one spot only two weeks out from the end of training. It meant that I was going to be eligible for leadership. But right now the only thing that I could think about was what was going to happen with Jeanine in two weeks. It was the one of the few things on my mind these days. It was the day that I would have to see what it was that Jeanine wanted. It might be the last day of my life.

Over the past two weeks Four and I had been trying to plan something to stop Jeanine. We had to do something to stop her and her plan to destroy the Divergent's. It wasn't just Four and I. I didn't know any others but there were plenty. It hadn't been going well for us so far. The only plans that we were coming up with were ones that were going to end with one of us dying. The only thing that I knew right now was that I had to go to Candor with Four before the end of training. We would be going the night before the final fear landscape. If Candor worked out the way that I wanted it to I might be able to stop Jeanine.

Once more my mind flitted back to what I wanted to tell Eric as I turned back from a wrong turn to the fear landscape room. Eric had shown me it once but I didn't remember the route very well. All of the halls looked the same. But that wasn't what was on my mind. I wanted to tell Eric that I was a Divergent before that night. I wanted everything to be less of a shock to him. I had done enough to nearly give him a heart attack over the past few months. I could spare him on this one. But I wasn't sure how to do it.

Honestly I was afraid that he was going to break my heart. I knew that he would in some way or another. I thought that maybe it would be a better idea to tell him the truth; in fact I was sure that it was a better idea, but I was afraid. I didn't know what to do. I had no clue how to start that conversation.

But this was the wrong time for me to be thinking about something like that. I had better things to be thinking about. I might be able to get around to tell him before my two weeks were up but I also might not. Either way, I was eventually going to have to reveal my secret to Eric. I sprinted through the last hallway that looked a little familiar before running through the door. Thankfully Eric had already shown me the room or else I could only imagine how late I would have been.

I walked into the room awkwardly to see all of my friends turning and staring at me. I looked around the room and saw that it looked just like the fear sim room but larger. It could easily hold at least twenty people. Or at least whoever would come to watch our fear landscapes. My heart lodged itself in my throat as I remembered that Jeanine would be one of those people.

All heads in the room turned around to look at me and I let a small blush cover my face. I knew that I was already a little red from the running and it didn't help that it was clear that everyone in the room knew that I had been coming from somewhere not so decent. I took a deep breath and shook my head, trying desperately to avoid Heather's smirk. I was panting slightly as I looked over everyone else in the room and leaned over.

Four was glaring at me and I smiled bashfully at him. All of my friends were trying desperately not to laugh. I knew that I looked a little frazzled and my hair was ruffled on top of my head. Damn Eric, he should have woken me up earlier. Lauren was there too and she smiled at me. I gave her a weak one back. I glanced up at the clock and smirked. I was two seconds late. That meant that Four couldn't yell at me.

"Still made it on time," I muttered to Heather.

She turned to me and laughed softly under her breath. She looked extremely proud of herself. She was never late. Cole was sure to keep himself respectable around Heather. I was sure that Eric didn't even know what the word respectable meant. All of my friends were snickering at me as I took a spot next to Heather and turned to look at Four and Lauren. They were speaking softly with each other.

"Barely," she laughed.

"Still counts."

"Eric didn't want you to leave?

I nodded, still trying to pretend like I was interested in what Lauren and Four had to say. "He didn't wake me up," I said.

"Did he forget about training?" she asked.

"No. He probably wanted to watch me scramble. He thinks it's funny to mess with me. You know?"

"Sounds like an Eric thing to do," she said.

We both leaned back against the boys and smiled at each other. I glanced over at Lauren once more to get a good look at her. I had only seen her on the first day and a few times since then. I had really never gotten a good look at her. She had long hair that was extremely dark. She seemed to be one of the few people that didn't have dyed hair. She had piercings in her eyebrow, lower lip, and all throughout her ears. Despite her hard-ass look she was smiling sweetly at us. She seemed much happier than Four, who was still glaring at me.

Lauren shifted for a few moment before shouting over us. "Alright! Listen up!" Lauren yelled.

"That's the first time I've heard her talk," Buck said, surprised.

The rest of us nodded at him. We all silenced ourselves and those who were facing away from the pair turned to look at them. Even I glanced back to see what they wanted to talk about. They were standing on the raised platform that held the chair that we would sit in for our fear landscape.

"For some of you, you haven't seen me since the first day here in Dauntless. The transfers. Glad to see that you've all made it. Welcome to Phase Three of initiation. This is the fear landscape room. You'll be getting familiar with it over the next two weeks. Now, you're going to be alternating days. Phase Three goes in the reverse of Phase Two. The highest ranked transfers go first. Today those of you in the number one spot up until the tenth spot, you will be going today," she explained.

I groaned softly, well aware that it meant that I was going to be the first one to have to deal with the fear landscape. At least it meant that I would be able to get it done with first. But that also meant that no one else was going before me. It meant that no one else was going to be able to tell me what to expect.

"Those of you in the eleventh spot and lower, you'll be going to the training room. We are still the warrior Faction and you all have to keep up your physical strength. We will alternate it. Tomorrow, those of you ranked number one through ten will be in the training room," Four explained. That meant that I was going to be in the training room tomorrow. "We will alternate every day."

I gave a soft yawn but snapped my jaws shut when I saw the glare that Four was giving me. He had no sympathy that I hadn't slept. Especially not because Eric was the only reason that I hadn't been sleeping. My jaws tightened as I gave Four a guilty smile. He looked like he would rather kick my head off of my shoulders.

"You won't be watching the others go. Like the fear sims you're going to sit outside and wait for it to be your turn. Once you're done you'll be going to the training room," Lauren said. I would be spending the majority of the day in the training room. "Let's talk about the fear landscape. You won't be seeing your own until the fear landscape in two weeks. You'll be seeing mine."

All eyes in the room shot over to her as jaws nearly dropped to the floor. They were all thinking the same things that I had been thinking earlier. We had all thought that we would be practicing our own fear landscapes like we had in Phase Two. We would be practicing, but not our own fear landscapes. At least we were allowed to practice something.

"What?" Jade sneered from behind me.

"What?" Lauren parroted.

"Why aren't we seeing our own fear landscape? That's not fair! We should be able to practice."

Just like when we had asked about the people on the bottom of the ranking boards having to leave Dauntless, Four looked pissed. "Do you think that in the real world you're going to get a chance to practice? It's like the fights. You won't get to fight someone that's fair. You could get someone larger, smarter, and stronger," Four snarled. Colt and Hunter had been larger than me. "You might not always know what you're afraid of. You won't be prepared to confront a fear when you're out in the real world. Sometimes things just happen."

Lauren was nodding along with him but I could see a little hint of concern in the back of her eyes. She had no idea what he meant. I did. The chill that fled over my spine proved it. I knew that he was partially referring to what was happening with us. The room had gone silent as we all stared awkwardly at the ground. Lauren shook her head and cleared her throat, drawing the attention away from himself and Jade.

"Four is right. This is fair. We let you practice seeing your fears. That's fair enough. We aren't going to let you practice your own fear landscape," she said definitively. It was fair enough. It just sucked. "You're practicing mine from two years ago. That's how it's going to work. Now, the fear landscape is different from the fear sims. In the landscape you're aware that you are in a sim. It will feel different. But the rules are no different. Get in and out of there as fast as possible. We're still timing you. And we're still ranking you."

"Seems so weird," Heather muttered to me.

"It might not be too bad," I whispered back.

There wasn't much of a chance that anyone else could rise to the number one spot. "A little advice. The final fear landscape will be your last chance to dramatically raise your ranking," Lauren continued.

The final fear landscape was the only chance that I had to drop out of the number one ranking. But there was no way that they were going to take over my spot. "Now we're going to get this started. Alex, you'll be up first," Four said, motioning to me with an even face.

"Okay," I called back, shifting forward.

"Aaron, you'll be following her. Lauren and I will be watching you guys go. Alex, Aaron, Draven, Dante, Michael, Jax, Greg, Buck, and Heather. You'll all be going today. The rest of you will go tomorrow. Head to the training room. The rest of you, outside in the waiting area," Four snapped.

"See you guys later," I called to everyone that was leaving.

Everyone ran to their respective waiting areas as I stood and waited for my instructions. They didn't take long. "Alex, come here," Four motioned.

"Good luck girl. You got it," Heather said.

"Thanks."

She was lingering behind the rest of our friends. Cole was waiting for her at the edge of the doors. I turned back and smiled, walking over to her and grabbing her in a hug. "Out, Heather," Four barked.

Startled slightly, she turned to sprint away from me. The doors slammed shut behind her and I was left with Lauren and Four. I turned back and headed into the center of the room. This room was about twenty times as creepy as the sim room. I took a seat in the chair that Lauren was motioning me towards. It was just like the one in the fear sim room.

Lauren headed back to the computer behind the chair and I leaned back. "Remember you can be aware that you're in the sim this time. But still get out of it like a Dauntless. Try not to die, okay?" Four asked.

Four was close to my ear and whispering as Lauren typed something into the computer. She was mumbling softly to herself. "Got it," I whispered back.

"Good luck. This isn't as bad as it seems. And Lauren's fears aren't too bad."

"That's a relief," I said.

I was sure that they couldn't be worse than mine. "I had to do hers when I was an initiate too," Four explained.

"As long as she isn't afraid of heights," I teased.

Four's hand tightened almost painfully on my shoulder and I groaned. That was a little harder than was completely necessary. He let up on my shoulder slightly as Lauren came to stand with us. Four backed away from me slightly as Lauren walked over to stand next to my head.

"Just treat it like you're in a fear sim and you'll be fine. This isn't about slowing your heart rate down. Keep that in mind. The only thing that you need to do is conquer my fears," Lauren explained.

The only reason we had done the fear sims was to practice how to conquer a fear. "Okay," I said.

"Here's hoping that we don't share any of them," she said as she held the needle to my neck.

I smiled and nodded, leaning back completely into the chair. "I hope not," I laughed.

"Take a deep breath," she said.

I nodded again. She brushed my hair off of my neck and I cringed as the needle sank into my neck and the world began to spin. It was faster than the beat of a drum that I came back to. I wasn't in the fear landscape room anymore. It seemed like I was actually in the same pit where I had my fear of snakes. A lump formed in my throat as I waited for her first fear to reveal itself to me. I was down in a dark cave and my heart was pumping quickly. This didn't look like a good thing.

There was a soft scuttling in the corner of the cave and I turned back to see a large creature come out. I knew what this thing was. It seemed like nearly half of the people that I knew were afraid of this. Spiders. I turned back to run but the spider was faster. It was larger than normal ones were. Much larger.

The damn thing looked like it was at least six feet tall and each of the legs were at least three feet long. Its eyes were black and beady and its fangs were dripping in what I assumed was venom. The spider pounced on top of me and I yelled out, thrashing around. I swung myself out from underneath the spider that was trying to catch me again. More were crawling out of the caves and I knew that if I didn't kill this spider soon I was going to have to fight off the rest. The spider lunged at me again and I reached for something. I only had a pocket knife.

Eric had one that I borrowed from time to time and I recognized that the one that I had on me was actually his. I flicked it open and gulped when I realized that the spider wasn't going to die from just one stab. So I dashed underneath the spider as it tried to swipe out at me again. It narrowly missed and I watched as it tripped over its own legs.

It let out an awkward growl and I cried out again when I grabbed the knife in my hand and jammed it into the eye of the spider. It let out a horrible scream and I fell back from it. All of the other spiders began to advance on me quickly and I took in a breath, knowing that there was nothing else that I could do. I had lost my one weapon.

But before I could do anything else or run, the scene changed. My heart was pounding in my chest as I glanced around at my new surroundings. I wasn't afraid of spiders but I certainly didn't want to meet one that large in real life. I was now out of the strange cave and instead standing in a room. A room that I was well aware of. I was in the Chasm. Was Lauren afraid of the Chasm? I had seen her out by it before and she hadn't looked the least bit concerned about it. Maybe it was something else.

I hung back by the railings and turned slightly, gasping loudly when I saw that there was a man standing behind me. I couldn't see who it was as he had a black mask over his face and wore long clothes over his body. He seemed weaponless but that didn't change the fact that he made me nervous.

The man gave no indication that he was going to do anything before darting towards me and knocking me onto my back. I gasped at the sudden weight before kicking him in the stomach. He let out a loud roar that almost sounded like something animalistic. He hit me across the cheek and I gasped at the sudden pain. He wrapped a hand around my neck and I screamed as the other wrapped around the other half of my neck.

The man was angry with me for no reason and now he was going to choke me to death. Lauren was afraid of suffocating. Not that I blamed her. I had almost been suffocated before - more than once - and I knew how terrifying it was. His hands were tight around my throat as I thrashed and kicked out at him. Bile was rising in my throat that was coming close to being completely closed off. I twisted again and kicked out roughly into his stomach. He roared again and I gasped as his grip loosened slightly. I threw out my fist and watched as the man fell from me. He was panting heavily as I jammed my booted foot up into his throat.

He coughed a few times as I leaned over to get my breath back. I felt him grab my back again before kicking out at him, once, twice, and a third time. He growled at me again before I kicked out to his head and he smashed his head on the railing. He fell to the ground and I noticed a pool of blood forming around him, dripping into the churning Chasm waters.

I attempted to stand up but I had almost no time to actually get my wits together. The scene changed once more and I glanced around at myself. The room was nothing that I had seen before. It seemed like I was down in the furnace of Dauntless. The one where we had been forced to burn the clothes of our old Factions. But this was odd. There was trash all around me and the room was extremely narrow. There was only about ten feet of space between two extraordinarily tall walls.

There was a small crawl space at the tops of the walls and I stared at them. It was at least thirty feet up and the walls were too far apart to scale. Was there a chance that Lauren was afraid of being trapped in small spaces? No. That couldn't be it. Why was the room shaped like this if the fear was enclosed spaces?

There was a horrible screeching noise that came from behind the walls and I took in a deep breath. That wasn't good. I noticed that the trash that I was standing on was raising slightly and I let out a little yell. What the hell was happening? I looked over and saw that the walls were closing in slowly. They'd already closed a few inches and I knew that with every passing second they were closing in a little more. It wasn't going to be long before I was crushed to death in between the walls. Not good.

"Lauren, damn it! Crushed to death by closing walls? Come on!" I yelled to myself and Lauren.

This was insane. I'd rather be in my own fear landscape. The walls were closing in fast and I knew that I was running out of time. There was only about another nine feet to go before I was crushed to death. I tried searching through the trash for a way out of the bottom of the trash but there was nothing on either end of the walls. No matter how hard I tried to push against them they wouldn't stop. They were too heavy. No matter how fast I ran back and forth there was nothing I could do to get out. The only thing I could do was try and make it to the crawl space at the top of the wall and fast. I only had about five feet of wiggle room.

I placed one foot on each side of the wall and used my hands to help me walk up them. It was hard and my thighs were burning with the strain. I was in a hell of a lot of pain as I made it about halfway up the wall. The walls were only about three feet apart and I was at least fifteen feet from the top. I began to move faster, practically dying with anticipation. I was going to make it.

But it was hard and the walls weren't stopping, no matter how close I got to the top. I was about ten feet away from the top and barely able to wiggle through the closing walls. There was only about two feet separating the walls from each other and me. I dashed upwards until I was only three feet from the crawl space and the walls were a foot apart. It was squeezing my thighs against my chest and my arms were burning with pain as I struggled back over the tops of the wall.

My entire body to my torso was out of the tops of the walls and I was able to pull one leg completely out of the quickly closing walls. My left foot was caught in the walls and I screamed out loudly. My ankle was throbbing as I ripped it from between the walls and fell to the tops of the walls that had finally closed. Thankfully I'd made it.

The scene changed quickly and I was back to standing, my chest still heaving with the exertion from the previous scene. My heart was pounding in my chest as I glanced around at my surroundings. I was inside Dauntless again. At least I recognized this place. And at this point anything was better than being back with the closing walls. That was the worst one that I had seen in Lauren's fear landscape so far. The halls were bustling with people and I watched as some headed straight towards me. Among them were Max, Eric, and the other Dauntless leaders. Four was with them too.

I let out a little yell as Max wrapped his arms around me. His hands were tight on my arms as he dragged me out of the hall that we were in. He dragged me out of the compound despite my protests and I kicked out at him as he shoved me outdoors. The sun was bright as I turned back to see that Max was standing with his arms folded, watching me with beady eyes. They all were.

"You've been removed from Dauntless on accounts of rule-breaking and weakness. Cowardliness. Best of luck in the Factionless district," Max said with a little smirk.

Lauren was afraid of being kicked out? She was one of the best female fighters that Dauntless had. They weren't going to throw her out. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"There is one way for you to earn your way back. Fight me."

Fight Max? Okay... Nodding at him, I leaned down to get into a fighting stance. Max followed and I realized that he was going to fight with a much stronger stance than Eric and Four. It was probably because he had been here longer. He was older. He would be slower and his vision wasn't as good. He was faster than I had thought that he was going to be. He ran at me and I dodged a punch just barely in time. He threw another one out quickly and I ducked from that one too.

He threw another fist out at me and I dashed backwards once more before raising my fist and throwing it out at him. He managed to dodge my first punch but the second one connected with his nose. He stumbled back and I raised my foot to kick him directly in the stomach. He coughed loudly and I kicked out again, this one hitting his head. I risked a quick glance over to see that Four and Eric, along with the rest of the leaders, were all nodding at me. I would do it.

Trying to finish the fight I flipped over myself to kick him in the nose once more. But the moment that I flipped over myself I hit the ground. No one was here. Not Max and not the rest of them. I was alone again. I hit the ground roughly and rolled over, coughing a few times, trying to get the air back into my lungs. That hurt. My chest was throbbing as I rolled over again.

"Damn it," I groaned. I was sure that Four was laughing his ass off right now. He enjoyed watching when I hurt myself. Not that I blamed him. I enjoyed watching when Four hurt himself. "Shut up, Four. I know you're laughing."

I stood up to look around myself and noticed that I had changed rooms again. It seemed that I was in Dauntless still but I wasn't sure what the room was. It looked like I was in an empty version of the dorms. I turned a few times but nothing looked familiar or dangerous. It sure as hell felt dangerous. I had only been standing for a few seconds when a searing pain shot through my back. I gasped and leaned down onto my knees. What the hell was happening to me?

I reached around to my spine where the pain was and brought my hand back at the sticky feel that came with it. My eyes bulged when I saw that it was blood. And lots of it. It was slicking down my back and pooling onto the floor. I turned desperately to try and search out the culprit behind the attack but no one else was in the room.

There were no doors or windows in the room and I knew that it meant that there was nothing that I could do. Lauren had to be afraid of bleeding to death. Another searing pain shot through my arm as I saw a large split shoot down my right arm. The one on my left followed a moment later and two more on my legs appeared within the next thirty seconds. My heart was pounding as another pain shot through my stomach and more blood began to seep out. I was going to die. What the hell could I do?

I got up weakly and limped over to the cabinets that lined the back wall. I had to find something. Material. Anything that I could use to cover the wounds. I was barely able to stand as I grabbed the drawers and ripped them out of the chests. There was a small band of gauze in the furthest one and I grabbed my shirt and pants, ripping them off of my body.

The bleeding hadn't stopped as it flooded the floor around me. My face was an ashen and I was weakly limping as I grabbed the gauze and began to wrap it around my torso. My hands were shaking and I was barely able to keep myself standing. I tied off the gauze before tying it around my arms. My hands were shaking pathetically as I began to work on my thighs. I was barely able to see straight as I tied the gauze off and turned to look at myself. The wraps were already bleeding through but I knew that I had done all that I could, even though I was drenched in blood and the bleeding still hadn't stopped.

It seemed that the sim agreed with me. The sim changed again and I saw that I was still in Dauntless. It was strange seeing so many fears that were in Dauntless. A vast majority of mine took place in Erudite. It was something that I was hoping would go past Jeanine when she saw my fears. Not that it mattered. She already knew what I was. I saw a man that looked to be about thirty walking over near a Factionless man who was tied up and I raised my eyebrow at him.

He was speaking to the Factionless man and I saw that Lauren was standing in the background. She looked much younger. She was staring at her father as he stared at the Factionless man. He was speaking but I couldn't hear any of the words that he was saying. I wondered if this was a memory that she couldn't completely remember. She clearly remembered it well enough.

I watched closely and my heart jumped into my throat as I stared at him. He was speaking with an even tone. He looked pissed but it seemed that his voice was strong and steady. I was impressed with him. But it changed before I could realize it. I saw it just out of the corner of my eye. The Factionless man was holding a butter knife and it glinted in the sun for a moment. He was going to kill her father. This was her next fear. Her father's death. She had lost her father to a Factionless man.

I was not going to let that happen in my version of her fear. The man leaped over to her father with knife in hand but I was faster. I launched myself after the man and knocked him off of his feet. The knife sliced through my arm but went clattering to the floor. The pain in my arm was searing but at least I had saved her father.

The screams echoed for a moment before they were cut off and the pain faded from my arm. I was still down on my knees from tackling the man but I was no longer in Dauntless. I was pretty sure that this was the same place where I had my fear of losing my sister. It was in the plaza right in between Erudite and Candor. What was it that she was afraid of out here? It didn't take me long to find out.

The breeze blew softly and I shivered under it. How was I that cold? I glanced up and saw that a crowd was drawn around me. There were Erudite, Candor, Abnegation, Amity, and many Dauntless scattered around, all laughing at me. I saw Eric, Four, Max, the leaders, and a few others whose names I didn't know. I recognized them as her friends.

It only took me a moment to realize what her fear was. It was absolutely mortifying. Lauren had some of the strangest fears I'd ever seen. I was standing in the middle of the plaza buck ass naked with most of the residents of Chicago standing around and laughing at me. Damn it. Stupid fucking Lauren. My face went bright red as the others in the plaza all laughed and pointed at me. For once I was thrilled that I had the tattoos. I knew that it was drawing some of the attention away from my other extremities.

There was no way out of here other than swallowing my pride and dealing with it. I stood up completely straight and blushed softly as I headed over to the people that were watching me. I grabbed a jacket from a man that was standing near me and throwing it over my form, zipping it up. He was smirking at me but one hit to the eye and his smile had faded. I pulled the jacket down my thighs a little ways and headed out of the plaza with my head held high.

It was odd hearing Eric laugh and jeer at me. But this was Lauren's fear, not mine. And Eric wasn't attracted to her, he was attracted to me. I knew that if it was my fear he would have been pissed that everyone else was looking at me. As I strode away from the plaza I found myself back in the Dauntless halls once more, thankfully this time I was fully clothed.

Once more I was back in my training clothes and in the back halls of Dauntless. There was no one else around me as I began to walk back and forth down the hall. Something had to be back here waiting for me. I was striding slowly when a hand clapped itself over my mouth and I fought to let out a piercing scream. I kicked out but another figure caught me by my legs. One was holding one of my legs and one was holding the other, with another wrapped around my torso. The people that were holding me had no faces and I screamed again. One figure covered my face to make sure that no one could hear it.

The figure that was standing behind me wrapped an arm around my torso before dragging me away from the hall. I screamed and cried out as the others kept me from moving. I thrashed out again and felt my boot connect with the face of one of my kidnappers. The one that had been holding my left foot dropped to the ground and I used the propulsion I got from my feet on the ground to push myself back up and throw my foot into the eye of the man that was holding my other leg.

He too dropped me and I tried to thrash away from the two men that were still holding me. The one that was around my torso dropped me and threw a punch to my face, which I was unable to avoid. But I still had the upper hand in the fight. My vision was blurry as I pushed my legs to swing up and roundhouse kick the man against the skull, twice. He groaned and dropped to the ground as I stomped down on his face.

He gave a soft groan and I turned to face my last attacker. His hand was still over my mouth and I bit down on his fingers. He screamed in pain and I spit out the blood that filled my mouth. I punched him in the face before he got a chance to regain himself and swung his fist across my nose. It crunched under the weight of my fist and I kicked him in the stomach.

He hit the ground roughly and I stepped down on his ribs. I heard them crack under my booted feet as I kicked him in the stomach again. He cried out and rolled over as I leaned down, hitting him in the face again. He got a few good hits in on my face but it was nothing compared to the damage that I was doing to him.

I leaned back once more to regain my breath but it was all that the sim needed to push me out. After nine fears of Lauren's I was pushed back into the fear landscape room and I shot up in the chair. My breathing was coming in heavy gasps as I sat bolt upright in the chair and dropped my head into my hands.

Most of her fears weren't too bad but the last one about being kidnapped was completely awful. My throat was rattling softly as I leaned back and nodded at Lauren and Four, both of whom were watching me normally. I wasn't afraid of any of the things that Lauren was but that didn't mean that I enjoyed having to face them. I could only imagine what it was going to be like when I had to do this with my own fears.

"Lauren, you have the weirdest fears," I told her softly.

Lauren gave a soft laugh as she nodded. "Sorry about that," she chirped.

"It's okay."

Four was standing behind her and typing something into the computer. I noticed that he wore a smirk on his face. He was probably still enjoying my fall. Lauren gave me her hand and I took it to let her help me out of the chair. It was a little further back than the chair that was in the fear sim room was.

"I've had people tell me that I have pretty crazy fears before. But everyone has at least one they're embarrassed of. You did well though," she said.

I perked up. "Thank you. How long did I take?" I asked. It felt like I had been in there forever.

"Ten minutes and twenty-three seconds. That's one of the best time I've ever seen. Even better than Four the first time that he did it."

"Thanks," I said happily.

"You earned it."

A smile graced my face. I was glad to hear just how fast I had managed to get the fear sim done. I had heard that the average times were about twenty minutes. I was taking about half of the time. Four moved to stand at the side of my chair as Lauren turned and headed into the waiting area. I was sure that she was going to get Aaron to bring him in. I hoped that he would do well in the fear landscape. I knew that he wanted to stay in the second spot if he couldn't take over the number one spot.

"Thanks, Lauren," Four said as she walked away.

She smiled and moved to open the door. "Not a problem. Aaron! You're up," she called.

"Alright, you did well. If you can do that in your fear landscape and remember to not give anyone a chance to say what you are you'll do well in the end," Four told me.

"I'll definitely work on it," I said.

"Get to the training room," he snapped.

Clearly something was wrong with him this morning. He seemed more distracted and he looked a little less happy than he normally was. I couldn't help but to wonder if he was thinking about what was coming in two weeks. I knew that it was as big of a deal for him as it was for me. It could very well be the end of both of our lives. He was helping me out of the kindness of his heart. He didn't have to. Jeanine didn't know who he was.

"Thanks Four. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about the timing thing," I teased.

"Get out," Four snapped.

We smiled at each other as I hopped out of the chair, giving him a quick hug before parting ways and heading towards the door. "I'll see you later," I yelled back to him.

"Bye, Alex."

I turned to leave and brushed past the door. Lauren was standing and moved out of the way for me. I said hello to a few of my friends and patted Aaron on the back before heading straight for the training room. My friends all called to me once the door was closed and Lauren had disappeared once more, asking me what it was like to do the fear landscape. I was honest in telling them that it wasn't nearly as bad as having to deal with the fear sims.

As long as someone didn't share any fears with her. They were all going to be aware that it wasn't real and that was a positive for them. Although I knew a few of my friends were afraid of spiders. At least it was the first fear that they would see. They could get it over with first. It would only get better from there.

It was only a few minute until I got to the training room and walked straight in. There was no one in the training room other than a few members and I smiled to myself. I had never been in here without Eric, Four, or the other initiates. I headed straight to the punching bag and hit the thing as hard as I could, over and over again. I was there for nearly half an hour. The only other person that had since joined me was Aaron, and he was lifting weights.

My hands and knees were both bleeding from the heavy impacts. I was taking out all of my stress on the bag. It was killing my hands as I continued to rain hits down onto the bag but I ignored the pain. I wanted to be angry about everything. The war. Jeanine Matthews. Eric. Having to drag Four into this. Divergence. Everything that I could think of.

A hand wrapped around the back of the back and I jumped. As far as I had been concerned, no one was around me. I thought that everyone else was around the weight lifting areas. I ignored the hand and threw another hit at the bag but it didn't do anything. It stayed completely still. All it did was make me retract my hand and hiss in pain. I looked around to see that Eric was standing behind the bag. I was glad that everyone else was nowhere near me.

"Move, Eric," I hissed.

"Your hits aren't going to the center of mass. It's throwing you off," he said.

Wiping off a bead of sweat, I nodded. He was right about that. I wasn't throwing my hits carefully, I was just hitting to release pent-up anger. I shook my head at him and threw out another punch. It wasn't as hard as the others considering I really didn't want to hurt my hand again.

"Thanks, but I've got stuff on my mind. I wasn't exactly thinking about where to hit with the center of mass or whatever the hell you're on about. I just want to take some anger out," I said.

Eric nodded at me before letting go of the bag. He turned back and walked to stand behind me. I wanted to reach out and hit the bag again but decided against it. Eric placed his hands on my arms and I sucked in a deep breath. There were people around. Part of me wanted to tell him that but I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to open my mouth and admit it to him. For whatever reason my mouth seemed to have completely sealed itself and I was at his mercy.

"I taught you better than that," Eric growled.

"Like I said, I'm not going on what I learned."

"What do you have to be stressed about, initiate?" Eric asked, his mouth pressed against the side of my ear.

"Lots... You," I growled, trying to ignore him.

His breath fanned over my neck and I shivered. I rolled my eyes at myself and his actions before punching the bag again. Eric's hands slipped down my arms to come and land on my hips. They were soft on me and I felt his hands tense as he shoved my hips to the side. I knew that he was roughly correcting my stance. I had never been very good about keeping the correct stance.

"Ouch. Watch your damn hands," I snapped.

"You never complained before."

"Since there's not a bed anywhere in sight, I don't exactly want you to be rough with me," I moaned.

Eric rolled his eyes, probably thinking that I was being a baby. "Turn and face me," Eric said in my ear darkly.

I turned and took a step back. He was being way too risky. Someone could see us. We were already tempting fate here. "There are people in here, Eric," I sneered.

He seemed to be unconcerned. "So?" he asked.

I couldn't believe that he was being so open and standing so close to me. I hated that we had to keep this a secret but I knew that we had to continue keeping this a secret. We had done a good job so far. And we only had to do it for another two weeks. Only two more weeks and I knew that we would no longer have a secret relationship to keep.

"So, there are people watching," I said.

"What?" Eric asked.

"People are watching. Leave."

He had a teasing lilt to his voice and I had to push to keep the blush on my face down. I had a feeling that nothing good was going to come. Not when he was looking at me the way that he was. It said that I was asking for it and I was going to get it later. Eric moved closer to me to put his mouth over my ear.

"Do you think that I'm going to bend you over?" he asked.

A huge blush spread over my face and neck. Not right here. Not right now. "Stop!" I hissed.

"Or maybe throw you down against the ground? Be as rough as possible. I thought that was how you liked it. Push your legs apart? Lean in between and slip my -" he prattled before I cut him off.

"Eric!" I snarled.

He was smirking at me as I slapped a hand over his mouth. I wanted to back away from him but I didn't believe that he was going to not keep talking if I took my hand off of his mouth. A few people turned back to us and I awkwardly shifted behind the bag so that no one else could see us.

"Shut up! Please. People will hear you," I told him desperately.

He smiled and backed away from me. I was hesitant to take my hand off of his mouth but I let him go slowly. Thankfully no one was looking our way. They all seemed to be so caught up in their own thoughts and training. I assumed that everyone else was thinking about their jobs or something else that made them angry. I wondered what it would be like to be able to only think about something like that. Not a damned war that I was only fighting with one other person.

Finally Eric decided to let the conversation go as a smirk faded back onto his face and he leaned against the bag. The chain that was holding it creaked and I reached out to kick it gently. I was practicing my stance, knowing that Eric would throw me off balance if it wasn't correct. As he replaced my foot properly on the bag, his fingers gently trailed up my leg, making me shiver slightly.

"How did you like Lauren's fear landscape?" Eric asked.

"Loved it," I teased.

"It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

"Just a little bit. Well, a lot. I didn't know Lauren was older than you," I commented.

"Just a year," Eric said.

We stood together for a moment as Eric readjusted my stance. "So you had to do it, too?" I asked.

Eric nodded blankly. "Yeah. She was bigger in the training process during my initiation. She's still afraid of spiders and the walls closing in, right?" he asked.

"She is. I hated the walls closing in."

He nodded, probably remembering going through it himself. "My favorite was the public humiliation. How was that?" he asked.

A blush rose on my face and I dropped my head to the ground as I kicked out, missing the bag. Eric laughed as I grabbed his arm to steady myself. Aaron glanced over to us and I let go of him quickly, putting a stern glare on my face. Aaron nodded at me before turning away and I turned back to Eric, placing an awkward smile on my face.

"Please tell me that yours was about having to be naked out in the center of the square? Or right in front of the Hub?" I asked.

Eric was smirking at me. "No," he said.

"Something like that?" I asked desperately.

Eric was still shaking his head. "No. Mine was not about being naked," he said.

There was something on his face that told me that he would have loved to watch me go through that fear. The whole thing was especially awkward if I would ever have to do that fear landscape in front of someone else. Doing it in front of Four and Lauren was bad enough.

"I do look forward to watching your fear landscape and seeing you like that," he told me, hissing it in my ear.

He leaned into me and I blushed as his front rubbed against mine. "Shut up," I mumbled.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," he said.

I blushed again and shook my head, trying to push him away from me. "Thanks," I said softly.

"Come on, spar with me. I won't throw you around the training room this time. Or at least I won't try," he said.

I laughed softly as I shook my head. "Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Come on, Amity," he goaded.

I wasn't so sure that I wanted to spar with Eric. We were together but that didn't mean that he ever took it easy on me. In fact I was sure that it made him go harder on me. I knew that he meant that he was going to try me even harder to throw me off of the mats. We walked over to the mats and I stood in front of Eric, well aware that everyone was staring at me. They were all curious what was going to happen. The last time that we had fought together Eric had nearly killed me.

It turned out that we managed to spar together for hours on end and I was well aware that we had missed lunch because we had been so into the fight. I knew that we were drawing a large crowd. Everyone was curious to watch the ruthless Dauntless leader and the number one ranked Amity transfer. Although they looked shocked that Eric wasn't actually trying to kill me.

Throughout the entire fight I knew that Eric wasn't taking it easy on me. It meant that I was fighting him as hard as I possibly could. The fight was brutal but I liked it. He was leaving lots of bruises on me and I knew that I had a split in my lip from a hit at the beginning of the fight. It hurt like hell but I'd gotten him back. He had one ugly bruise on the side of his neck from a kick from me. It was the only mark that I had put there. It was more of an accident than anything else but at least I'd done something.

It was getting close to dinner and Eric and I were still fighting. I was dead tired since we had only taken a few breaks for water and breathers. We both looked awful, drenched in sweat and ready to keel over and die. Eric was still stronger than me. But I knew that he was ready to end this. I was too. We both wanted to get to dinner.

It only took him a moment to completely disable me. It wasn't a problem either. I knew that he could beat me without trying. He was only taking it easy on me because he wanted to continue fighting me. He could have hospitalized me in a few minutes. I wondered if he would once he found out what I was. It was a serious possibility. I wouldn't be shocked either.

He grabbed me in a bone crushing hold and I felt my shoulder pop a few times. It was shooting pain through my entire shoulder and I cried out softly. But I didn't want to tap out. I hated having to lose to him. I heard another trainer yelling at us to quit it and get to dinner but Eric silenced them with a glare. Eric was not going to let me go until I tapped out. I tried to roll away from him but his grip was way too tight on me. My shoulder was killing me and I knew that he was going to dislocate it if I kept it up.

So I finally raised my hand to his knee and tapped it a few times. I also made sure to send my shoulder back weakly into his groin when I stood up. He groaned and yanked on my hair roughly as he stood. I knew that he was pissed about the elbow to the groin. But I was pissed about the shoulder.

We both popped up and faced each other. We both sighed a few times before moving a little closer to each other. We were exhausted. Eric was breathing a little heavier than normal but nothing else. On the other hand I looked half-dead. My hair was everywhere, sweat was beading over me, and I was panting heavily. It looked like I had been run over by a truck. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. Eric was smirking at me and I rolled my eyes. I was exhausted. I wanted to go to dinner. I was starving.

"Nice try, initiate. I don't think so. You'll never beat me," he snarled.

"Damn you."

I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. I had to fight to keep the smile off of my face. A few of my friends were watching me out of the corner of their eyes and I had to keep up the pretense that I hated him. Smirking at him, I moved forward and took a few steps off of the mat away from him.

"You're still weak," Eric growled lowly.

I turned back and gave him a long smirk. "And I know how to make you weak," I said, brushing by Eric.

He watched curiously as I walked close to him and gently let my hand brush across his lower half. He tensed slightly and fought to keep a straight face. "Let go, or the rules will be damned," Eric hissed.

The two of us grinned at each other as I released him and stepped back. "See you tonight, asshole," I told Eric under my breath.

No one needed to know that I was going back to visit Eric later tonight. Eric chuckled under his breath as he brushed past me. He slammed into my shoulder and I laughed, fighting to keep an angry glare on my face. I followed him at a safe distance as we headed into the dining room. I was about ten feet behind him and avoiding looking anywhere near him.

As we walked into the dining room Eric walked away without saying anything to me. Not that I had been expecting him to say anything. I knew that he would catch my eye when he was ready to go and I would leave a few minutes after him so to not raise suspicion. I walked into the food area and grabbed myself a burger before heading out to sit with my friends. Everyone was in the same spot as normal and most of them were laughing.

"Hey, guys," I called as I walked over.

Heather and Buck sprung apart slightly to make room for me to sit next to them. "There you are," Heather chirped.

Dante was sitting across from me and I grabbed a fry off of his plate. He smirked and stabbed at me with his fork to get me away from his plate. "Hey. How'd the fear landscape go for you?" he asked.

For once I wasn't bothered. Only one of Lauren's fears had bothered me. The kidnapping one. "Fantastic as always," I teased.

Everyone laughed. "You were out of there faster than anyone else. It took me over twenty minutes to get out of there," Dante said.

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

He was normally really fast. "Yeah. Lauren has some weird fucking fears," Dante said.

We all laughed. Dante was right. Lauren had some of the strangest fears that I had ever seen. The walls closing in on her was completely odd. I wasn't sure where a fear like that came from. "It was creepy but thankfully we don't share any of the same fears. I hate the kidnapping fear," I said.

Dante nodded at me. "That one freaked me out," Dante admitted.

The ones that hadn't been through Lauren's fear landscape yet all looked a little startled. "I don't really blame her for being afraid of it. I wonder if someone tried to kidnap her or something like that?" I asked more myself than anyone else.

"Do you think that really happened?" Heather asked.

"Maybe. That's the only reason that I could think that something like that would happen," I continued.

"She's afraid of being kidnapped?" Jet asked.

Everyone that had been in the fear landscape nodded. Draven, Dante, Jax, Buck, and Heather had all been through it already of the transfers. The only ones that hadn't seen it were Cole and Jet. A few of them were laughing and I shook my head. I knew that Lauren's fear landscape was a little silly to them but it wasn't just that. Our fears seemed silly to others but that didn't mean that their fears weren't scary to themselves. Our fears were our own and we had our own reasons for being afraid of them.

"What else is she afraid of?" Jet asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

A scoff came from the other side of the table and I turned to see Draven digging the tip of his knife into the wood of the table. I smiled at him, knowing that it was a habit. He did it when he was nervous. I had figured that out months ago. He looked annoyed at something and I couldn't help but to wonder why.

"How is it fair that we had to go in blind and now we're going to tell you what happened?" Draven asked.

Everyone turned to him and gave a dark glare so that he would admit what they should be expecting. "We would do the same thing for you," I pointed out.

He rolled his eyes and let a deep yawn out. I loved Draven. It was funny how he was so blasé about everything. "She's afraid of spiders, suffocation, being crushed between walls that are slowly closing in, being thrown out of Dauntless, uncontrollable bleeding, her father's death, public humiliation, and being kidnapped by faceless men," Draven admitted.

Both Cole and Jet looked completely thrown by his admission of her fears. "That's quite the menagerie of fears she has," Cole said.

"Menagerie? Nice word," I teased.

He grinned at me. He was right. She had a wide variation of fears. "Is it bad?" Cole asked.

"Not really. Some of them are scary but you have to wonder how she got the other fears," I said.

"I hate to think about the spiders. I hate spiders. They're in my fear sim," Cole admitted.

Sighing softly, I frowned at him. I was pretty sure at least five of the initiates were afraid of spiders. I knew that Lisa and Serena were. I was pretty sure that they had both had to face them in their fear sims. It was his girlfriend to the rescue and I smiled at her. Heather wrapped her arm around Cole and leaned into him. We were all staring at them and some of us, myself included, were making vomiting faces.

"Hey, at least you know that someone else is afraid of them too," Heather said.

"Lots of people are afraid of them," I said.

"Cole, sweetheart, Alex is right."

I smiled at her again. I liked watching the way that she consoled her boyfriend. I knew that he hated lots of animals. Cole was from Erudite. They were an extremely clean and sterile Faction. They tended not to like animals. They thought that they were dirty. Very few of them had pets. Only some, like the blind and deaf, had service dogs and cats trained to care for their owners.

"The spiders weren't the worst ones," Jax interrupted.

Of course not. I had never known Jax to get freaked out about any kind of animal. He hated things like enclosed spaces and family deaths. "Walls closing in?" I asked.

"That was bad too. No, I thought that the kidnapping was the worst," he said.

"Me too," I said.

That was probably the worst. Especially considering that they shrieked like banshees and didn't have faces. "It was like once you got rid of one of them another ten would take their place. It was the worst thing," Jax said.

I shifted slightly and raised my eyebrows. I didn't have them replace each other once they were taken down. "You had more take their place?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Me too," Buck said.

"I didn't either," Heather agreed with me.

There must have just been lots of differences in the fear sims. I thought about mentioning the public humiliation but decided to pass on it. "Well everyone that hasn't gone yet, you certainly have something to look forward to now," Jax said.

We all laughed at him. The topic of the fear landscapes were dropped and we all went to speaking about typical things. Of course everyone was throwing food within minutes and trying to wrestle on top of the table. It was a disaster, just the way that I liked it. I glanced up to see that Eric was standing in the Wolf's Den with Cameron and a few of his other friends. All of my friends were distracted with each other. He turned to me for a moment and gave me a quick wink.

It was the first time that I'd seen him amused since coming into the dining room. I blushed before turning back to my abandoned food. My time with Eric was coming to an end soon enough. My time with everyone was coming to an end. My time being normal was coming to an end. Everything was coming to an end. But for now I was going to enjoy it.

Eric's P.O.V.

Eric was up in the Wolf's Den leaning against the railing that was overlooking the rest of the dining room. His eyes were slipping closed and he was certain that he had never been so bored in his entire life. Cameron and his other friends had to go finish some paperwork that Eric had no part of so he was stuck up here by himself. Everyone was busy with work right now. But Cameron would be done with work soon enough and they would be able to hang out for a while until he decided to pull his Amity away.

Right now he was supposed to be going over plans for new additions to the Hub. He had no clue why this was his job. He never overlooked construction. He had no idea why he was doing this but Max had seemed rather out there lately. Eric had a feeling that it had to do with the Divergent's. It meant that he had been forced to pick up Max's slack.

The work could wait for another day. He was currently leaning over the edge of the railing listening to the conversations below him. It was a habit that he had always had. Not that the conversations were anything to be heard. They were almost always boring. He was about twenty feet higher than the people at the tables below him but he could hear them perfectly.

He was trying to listen to all sorts of conversations but nothing was worthwhile to hear. Some were talking about work, others about hooking up, and even more about heading to the Pit. Nothing worth investing time into. He had recently switched over to listening to the conversation that his Amity was in. They were talking about the Aptitude Test. It seemed that they were all wondering if they had done the same thing to get the same results.

Eric shook his head as he dropped his head back and tilted back a small sip of his beer. He was on his third but he wasn't concerned. Beer had never affected him. It was just something to drink as they passed the time. He just knew as well as anyone else that there weren't many things that someone could do to get Dauntless. Taking the knife was one of the easiest ways. So was killing the dog. If a person didn't kill the dog that usually took out Dauntless and instead would go through Candor or Erudite, depending on how the person acted when the little girl came out.

Eric yawned and leaned back against the bars again as he began to flip through the file on the Hub. Built and finished ninety-one years ago and all sorts of other technical things that he could have cared less about. Damn Max. This was his job. Eric just wished that he was doing anything else.

"Well I didn't kill the dog, actually," Heather said.

Eric raised a pierced eyebrow as he turned to listen to the conversation. He still kept his body facing mostly away from the initiates. Finally something that could catch his attention. He had been bored all night. But one comment from her best friend, the ex-Candor, had piqued his interest. She hadn't killed the dog?

"You didn't?" Cole asked.

"No."

"So how did you get Dauntless?"

"I didn't actually score Dauntless on my Aptitude Test. I got Candor," she said.

He wondered what had made her leave. Either way, it was a good choice. Being in the top ten was a good ranking for someone that hadn't even scored Dauntless on their Aptitude Test. "Why did you leave?" Buck asked.

"I couldn't stay. I had to get out of there. So I picked the Faction that I thought was the closest. Anyways, when the dog came out I pet it. I'd heard that dogs weren't violent if you could make yourself seem smaller than them," she said.

The Erudite part of Eric's brain had him nodding along with her. The smaller you made yourself the less threatening that an animal assumed that you were. And the dog really wasn't going to attack. Eric had attacked the dog before it had come anywhere towards him. But he knew that he had to be Dauntless. There had been no other choice for himself.

"I'm shocked that you didn't get Erudite then," Cole teased her.

Eric rolled his eyes. She wasn't smart enough. "Well considering I asked what was going on at least twenty times I'm sure that they didn't want to put me in Erudite," she said.

He knew that plenty of people taking the Aptitude Test asked what was going on when they went in. He hadn't been one of them. "You didn't want to be there anyways," Cole said.

"Trust me, I didn't act very smart, just rationally. That's the way that a Candor thinks. I figured that if I was brave enough to grab the knife I would be brave enough to make it in Dauntless. I was right," she stated proudly.

Eric snorted and shook his head. It seemed that the ex-Candor and his Amity shared a fair amount of personality traits, like being proud. But he was rather intrigued to see that someone who had not scored Dauntless on their Aptitude Test had actually done rather well. Tenth place wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible either. It would be good enough for patrols or weaponry. She would have to prove herself if that was what she wanted to be. It didn't matter. He had always felt like someone should go where the Aptitude Test told them to go. Although if it had told him to go to Erudite he still would have gone to Dauntless.

"I felt awful when I killed the dog. I love dogs," Eric heard Buck say.

His face turned sour. He had never liked the ex-Candor. He was always too close to his Amity. "No one did," Jax said.

"Hell, we had a few dogs," Buck continued.

It seemed that everyone at the table was nodding their heads and Eric turned towards them. They were the only ones having a halfway decent conversation. Even though Eric didn't like the cowardice that they were showing over the dog he did understand. He was rather fond of animals. He hadn't enjoyed killing the dog either. But if it was his life or the dog's he would chose his own every time.

"Well it made us Dauntless, right?" Jax asked the table.

They all nodded again and Eric found himself nodding with them. It wasn't always fun to be brave, but the point of Dauntless was that you always had to be brave. Eric found himself a little curious as to why he hadn't heard his Amity speak up yet. She was rarely this silent. But he did know that her story never seemed to fall in line. She claimed to him that she had scored Amity. But her parents had told him that she hadn't taken the test because the serum had made her sick. Eric scowled. Someone was lying. If they got her to talk it would be the one chance that he had to hear the truth.

"Alex?" Draven spoke up.

He gave a quick turn to the table and saw her perk up slightly. Her eyebrows were knitted. "Yeah?" she asked.

Eric himself perked up a little and he glanced down to see if he could hear what she had to say for herself. It was killing him that he didn't know the entire truth. He always knew the truth about everything. Except for this one matter. She looked like she had been rather out of it for this conversation.

"Didn't you say once before that you scored Amity on the test?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, nodding.

Her head was moving slowly and her eyes seemed a little glazed over. Eric didn't miss the funny way that she was acting. "So you didn't kill the dog?" Draven asked.

This time Eric turned completely around. He didn't care that it wasn't a good thing to eavesdrop on someone. He wanted to know the truth about what was going on. He deserved to know the truth. He was a little glad that she hadn't noticed that he was now blatantly staring at her.

"Uh, no. No I - I didn't kill the dog. When the knife and meat came out I actually didn't take either," she admitted.

So she had taken the test. All of her friends were laughing but Eric knitted his eyebrows as he tried to put the pieces together. He had never heard of someone doing something like that before. When given a choice it was better to grab something rather than stand with nothing.

"You didn't?" Heather asked.

"No. I don't really know why I didn't. When the dog came out I just let it sniff me. It was adorable," she said softly.

Eric snorted at her. Of course she thought that it was adorable. Maybe that was why she had scored Amity. Maybe she had really taken the test. Maybe she'd just told that lie to her parents so that she didn't have to tell them that she had scored Amity but was still leaving. Either way Eric had a feeling that the whole story still wasn't being told. She hadn't done anything that would prove that she was Amity. All that seemed to do was edge out Dauntless. He had no clue how sparing the dog had led her to earn the Amity result.

"What about when the little girl came out?" Dante asked.

For once she was going to answer the truth. Mostly because she thought that he wasn't listening. "What?" she asked dumbly.

"That's when you were supposed to kill the dog if you hadn't yet. But you didn't kill the dog if you got Amity. How the hell did you get Amity?" Dante asked.

There was no rational reason that she had gotten Amity. Eric didn't understand how the hell she had gotten that result. "Oh I, uh, I saved the little girl. I just jumped on top of the dog to save her," she admitted.

Everyone was nodding at her but a nasty scowl had fallen over Eric's face. No matter how much she talked he didn't understand how she had gotten the Amity result. If she really had taken the Aptitude Test in the first place. It only sounded like she could have gotten either Dauntless of Erudite the way that she was speaking. Amity didn't make any sense. She would have needed to avoid the little girl if she had wanted to get Amity.

"Hey, have you guys ever heard of a back-up sim?" she asked.

They all turned to stare at her as Eric's heart plummeted down into his stomach. "A what?" Heather asked.

"Like, if the computer didn't eradicate four of the Factions then you would have to go into a second one to actually get you one result," she clarified.

The table was silent as strange looks were thrown back and forth. Eric was now watching the table carefully. He thought that someone might have been speaking to him but he wasn't listening. She still didn't notice that he was watching her. She was too busy looking at her other friends.

"I've never heard of that, Alex. Did that happen to you?" Heather asked.

Eric didn't bother to listen to the answer. He took a seat at the nearest table up in the Wolf's Den and ground his fists against the metal table. He could see Cameron coming up from the corner of his eyes with his other friends in tow. They were currently speaking with Zeke. But Eric didn't care. He cared about the conversation that he had just overheard. He was now hearing three different ideas behind her Aptitude Test.

She either hadn't taken it, had taken it and had gotten Amity, or she was lying about everything. He knew which one it was. He was trying to think of anything else, anything but what he knew was the truth. But nothing else worked out. She had taken the test. And Amity had not been her result.

He was steaming in his own fury at the table. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to be angry and kill her or stop and speak to her calmly about it. He didn't know what to do. He had never been forced into this spot before. And never with someone like her. Never with someone that he cared for. He just knew that he had to talk to her. But it would not be a calm discussion. He was shaking with anger.

She had to be one of them. He couldn't imagine that she wasn't. There was only one reason that the computer gave a back-up simulation. Eric had only seen it happen twice before. Both times the tester had been Divergent. The only reason that the computer gave one was because it couldn't determine which single Faction that someone was suited for. Jeanine had claimed that Divergent's were no longer being captured during the Aptitude Test. She was right. They weren't. People were helping hide them. Someone was helping to hide her.

But it still made no sense to him. There were plenty of people that hated the Divergent's. That didn't trust them. How was she managing to get away with it? How had Four not noticed during Phase Two? Maybe he had noticed. After all, Eric had watched her go through her fear sim of him hurting her for a few days while Four had recovered from the food poisoning. Maybe someone was teaching her. After all, Eric hadn't noticed anything wrong with her fear sim.

She must have been training herself to get through a fear sim like a normal Dauntless would. Maybe it was Four that had helped her. Or maybe someone else would. Or maybe there was a chance that he was wrong. But he knew that he wasn't. He knew for a fact that he was right. She was one. She had to be one. It was the only thing that made sense.

"Eric? Eric?" He heard Cameron call to him.

He assumed that he had been calling to him for a few minutes beforehand. Eric didn't want to hear him say anything. All he wanted was to knock her head off. She was going to tell him the truth. Eric pushed Cameron to the side as he stood, heading downstairs straight for the bench that she was sitting at with her friends. They were all trying to question her and Eric could see that she looked frazzled. Because she was trying to continue to lie. She was trapping herself in the web of lies. They were all unwinding in front of her. She was digging herself deeper and deeper into the hole.

"Eric, where the hell are you going? We have work to do!" Cameron yelled after Eric.

He didn't give a damn. He had better things to take care of. "Get it done yourself. I'll look over it later. I have something that I need to do," he snarled as he walked by.

He shoved Cameron out of the way, who he heard scoff. "What the hell, man?" Cameron asked.

"He okay?" another one of their friends, Woody, asked.

"He'll be fine," Cameron said, sounding in between worried and annoyed.

He knew that Cameron was going to question him on it later but leave him alone for now. That was the way that they worked. Instead of getting to work on the project that he had promised Max that he would do he marched down the stairs. He was seeing red. That was the only thing that he could see. Everyone was jumping out of the way as he stormed over to her table. It was clear to see that he was angry and no one wanted to make it even worse. The initiates immediately ceased talking to each other as Eric stood over her small form.

"Amity," he snarled. He couldn't help the cruel note in his voice. She turned to him with a bored look in her eyes but he could see that they held some worry at the strong and cold glare he was giving her. "With me. Now."

For once, she didn't argue. It was clear that she didn't have a choice in the matter. He knew that she wouldn't say no anyways. She didn't bother saying goodbye to her friends as she stood and followed him out of the dining room. He didn't bother waiting for her. She was fighting to keep up with him as he nearly trampled everyone out of the way. He was furious. He just wanted to get to speak with her. He didn't even know what he wanted to say.

She couldn't be one of them. How could the one person that he had ever cared about, other than Cameron, be one of them? He grabbed her by the arm and forced her into the apartment, shoving her inside. She stumbled slightly as she walked further into the apartment. There was a hint of fear in her eyes. He pushed her a few steps forward before slamming the door shut behind him. For once in her life, she was going to tell him the truth.

Alex's P.O.V.

I was nervous beyond belief. If Eric was just giving me an act he was damn good at it. If it wasn't an act this wasn't good. I had no clue what he could possibly be angry with me for. I had never seen him look as angry as he looked right now. It made me extremely uncomfortable. I was afraid that he was really going to hurt me. He looked like he was about to tear my head off. I was shaking slightly as I leaned back against the counter. I had thought that he might drop the angry look once we got back to the apartment but now he only looked even angrier.

So I decided to try a joke. Anything possible to lighten the mood. I wasn't okay watching Eric like this. "You know, if you had wanted to bring me back here all you had to do was ask. You know that I'd come back here with you any time," I told him softly.

He didn't give the slightest clue that he had found what I had said funny. He clearly didn't think that it was funny. I moved forward and grabbed his hand. He didn't let me get my fingers intertwined with his. He moved quickly so that he could grab my wrist in a bone-crunching hold. It was strong enough that it felt like he could have broken my wrists. It hurt like hell.

"Ow, Eric. Let go," I warned him. It was horribly painful. "Eric seriously, that fucking hurts."

He was standing close to me with his hands wrapped so tightly around my wrist I was sure that the bone would snap. "From the moment that I saw you I knew that there was something up," he growled.

"What?"

"Why would an Amity transfer to Dauntless? Especially an Amity that scored Amity on her Aptitude Test," he snarled.

My heart began to race, faster than I thought was humanly possible. Was there some chance that he had found out the truth? How could he? "I..."

My voice trailed off when I realized that I didn't know what to say. "But I liked you. Always did. From the moment that I saw you. I knew that I wanted you. No matter how angry you made me," he said.

Some part of me was slightly pleased that he had said those words but I knew that something bad was following. "I know that. I felt the same way," I told him somewhat honestly.

I knew that physically I wanted him but I had really hated him personally since I had met him. Only recently had I actually come to like his personality. "Did you?" Eric asked darkly.

"From the moment that I saw you I knew that I wanted you. I tried to fight it but I never could. You were the one thing that I could never fight," I admitted. It was the complete truth. From the moment that I had seen him the first time I had thought that I knew that he was the one that I wanted. "I've told you why I came to Dauntless. I knew that I couldn't be Amity. I did it for too long. Screw what the test said, I'm Dauntless. You've seen that. I've proven it."

He couldn't find out the lie. My life depended on it. It seemed that none of my words had moved him the way that his had moved me. "You know I had a strange conversation with your parents when they were here," he said.

Once more my heart beat began to speed up. "Did you?" I asked weakly.

I was beyond nervous at his words. At any moment I thought that my knees might give out underneath me. He had to know the truth. It was the only reason that he would be saying these things. He had never before brought up what he had talked about with my parents. He had always made it sound like the conversation was completely innocent.

"I asked them why you came to Dauntless when you had scored Amity on your Aptitude Test," he said.

I wanted to scream until my lungs burst. I had told my parents that I hadn't taken the Aptitude Test. My lies were coming unraveled before me. "And they said?" I asked softly.

"They told me this funny thing that you hadn't taken your Aptitude Test," he said, clearly passing the ball to me.

That meant that he knew what the truth was. "I - I..." I began to stutter. I had no idea what to say. Especially not having him leaning over me like this. Like he was about to rip my heart out. Maybe he was. "Please let go of me."

It was so soft that it was barely anything over a whisper. He didn't let go. He was still towering over me. "No," he growled.

"Eric, I told them the truth. I lied to you. All of you. I'm sorry," I said softly. This was my one chance to fix this. I could get my lie back in order. "I never took the Aptitude Test. The serum made me sick. I threw it back up and the woman that was administering my test told me to leave. That she was just going to program Amity into the computer. She told me that the choice would be mine to make."

It was horribly difficult to keep my voice as steady as I could. I had wanted to tell Eric the truth but seeing him like this made me think once more that maybe telling him the truth was the wrong idea. Eric hummed and gave me something in between a smirk and grimace.

"That's interesting. You know that I'm from Erudite," he said.

"I know."

"They make all of the serums that they use in every Faction. Also the one that they make for the Aptitude Test. It's similar but not the same to the one that they use for the fear sim. Neither one has any known toxins or allergens," he said. I knew that the day would come that I would rue Eric being Erudite born. "It's designed that way. So that it doesn't make anyone sick."

His eyes never once strayed from mine. I straightened my spine out so that I stood a little closer to the same height as Eric. Not that it made much of a difference. I was still about a foot shorter than him. "Think what you want, Eric, but that's the truth. Okay?" I asked.

"Is it?" Eric asked.

"I didn't take the test because the serum made me sick. I know it sounds funny. I couldn't believe that it happened," I told him. It was a half-truth. I couldn't believe that I was Divergent. "I was terrified when I heard that I had to choose based on my own thoughts."

That part was the truth. Even though I had gotten an answer I had still been forced to make the choice from my own mind. After all, only Candor had been eliminated. He nodded but I knew that Eric didn't believe me. The thought sent waves down my spine. Nothing good was going to be said tonight. I wanted him to drop it but I knew that he wouldn't.

"For a long time I thought that it might be the entire truth. A strange story but I thought that there was a chance that it could have been true," he said.

Nerves were tingling through my entire body. How had he figured out that it was a lie? "It is the truth," I whispered.

"I thought that it was the truth until today. You might want to be careful what you talk about in public," he warned, leaning into me slightly.

But it didn't turn me on like it normally did. It made me want to run for my life. My eyes were watering as I shook my head at him. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't know the truth. He'd overheard me. I didn't know what was happening and I didn't want to have to turn around and deal with it. I was terrified. This was not the way that I wanted this conversation to happen. I had never known what to say if this conversation did happen. It was even worse now that it really was happening. I could only pray that there was still a way that I could fix this.

"Eric, I don't know what you're talking about," I said softly.

The only thing that I could think to do was play dumb, which I knew that Eric would hate. "What did you score on your Aptitude Test? Tell me the truth," he hissed.

My back was pressed into the counter and I was sure that I could have melted into the granite under his intense stare. "I didn't take it," I answered him weakly.

It wasn't the truth but I prayed that he couldn't see through the lie. He was much smarter than me. He knew when I was lying. He always had. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and I cried out as he dragged me across the kitchen. My feet were dragging against the floor and I was stumbling as he slammed me into the wall next to the counter. My head rolled back and smacked into the drywall as Eric pressed himself tightly against me. His hand was pressed against my throat and it felt like at any moment I might pass out. I could tell that he was absolutely furious. He was shaking in anger. Or maybe it was me shaking in fear.

"Stop," I begged.

"Don't lie to me. I heard you talking at the table with your little friends," he said darkly. I really thought that we were being quiet enough. "How is it that you knew exactly what was in the Aptitude Test?"

There had to be something that I could say to make him believe that I really wasn't lying to him. "They were already talking. I've known them for months. They talked about the test enough for me to know what was in it. Everyone sees the same things," I said.

And that was the truth. Everyone had the same things happen to them. It was their choices that changed the test. "Not good enough," Eric snarled.

"My two best friends back in Amity talked about it too. I've known enough to know what happens during the test," I tried to add confidently.

"Really?" Eric asked with a teasing snarl.

"Yes," I said weakly.

He didn't believe me. "You didn't take the knife or the meat? You didn't kill the little dog? You thought that the dog was adorable? You jumped on top of the dog? That would give you Dauntless or Erudite. If you took the test," he continued.

"Y - Yes," I stuttered.

This couldn't be happening. He was right. My answers would have only given Dauntless or Erudite. I hadn't thought that part out. Maybe I had been too in-depth with telling my friends about my version of the test. I should have just shut my damn mouth and told them that I didn't want to talk about it.

"I have heard about your last comment. A back-up sim." No, damn it. He heard me. "Very rarely used. In fact, I've only seen it happen twice," he said.

There was a smile on his face but he wasn't happy. He hated me. He hated that I wasn't going to stop lying to him. "I don't know what you want me to say, Eric. I didn't do anything," I told him softly.

That was the first truth that I had told him. I hadn't done anything wrong here. It wasn't my fault that I was Divergent. I hadn't wanted it. I hadn't asked for it. It had just happened. "I think you did," he growled.

"What's going on?" I asked.

My voice was shaking as I tried to keep my lie up. Not that it was working on anyone. We both knew that I was caught in my lie but I didn't want to say anything about it. He did not like that I hadn't dropped the lie yet. He shoved me back into the wall once more and I cried out softly. I had forgotten how much he could hurt me.

"Don't act like an idiot. Tell me the truth. For once in your life, tell me the entire truth," Eric snarled. He couldn't know. "You took your fear sim and that's what happened. You didn't take either the knife or the meat. You questioned it. And the computer took away your choices. When the dog came you realized that it would be friendly. You used reason, intelligence. When the little girl came out you showed selflessness to protect her. Bravery too." He was right. He had already gotten three of them. "I assume that the computer then put you in a back-up sim. What did you get on the Aptitude Test?"

He was right about everything. There wasn't one thing that he was wrong about it. I couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't tell him. He couldn't know. I now knew the truth. He wasn't going to be the hero and save me from danger. He was going to kill me. He hated me, just as I had feared.

"Eric, I can't. I can't... Amity. I got Amity," I lied again. He had to believe me. There had to be some way to trick him into the lie. "I lied to my parents because I couldn't stand for them to know that I got Amity on the test and still defected. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lied to you and everyone else. I should have told the truth from the beginning."

None of them could know the truth. Not even Eric. He couldn't know that I was Divergent. He couldn't know that I was the kind of person that he was hunting down. "Yeah. You should have. You should tell the truth. And you should be telling me the truth right now," he snarled.

"I am."

"Stop lying to me!" he shouted.

His shout was so loud that I was sure that the mirror in the bathroom shattered. My body was shaking as he grabbed the glass off of the counter next to us and tossed it against the wall. It shattered at the impact and I glanced down at the floor, the first of my tears finally falling. My head came up slightly and I prayed that Eric's face would have softened when he saw my tears. But he wasn't looking at me with anything other than pure, seething, hatred.

"Please. Eric, please. I -" I tried again.

"Shut up," he cut me off.

Until I told him the truth I was sure that he didn't want to hear me say anything else. We would be here all night until I told Eric what he wanted to hear. He knew the truth now. He just wanted to hear me say it. He would hold me down or chain me to the bed until I told him the truth. This time neither one of us would like it.

"Tell me the truth. For once in your damn life tell me the truth. I've never lied to you," he said.

"That's a lie. You have lied to me," I said.

He shook his head at me. "No matter what you think, I've never lied to you," he said.

His voice had softened slightly. He sounded almost kind, almost like he was as heartbroken as I was. The snarl in his voice had gone down and I knew that for one moment the anger had faded from him. But it came back quickly. And it came back not just in him, but in me too.

"Damn you, you've lied to me plenty of times!" I shouted. The shock went through Eric's eyes for a moment but it faded quickly, anger replacing it. I was furious. Not just with him. With everything. I was angry that I had to hide myself. "How many times have you told me that I meant nothing to you? How many times have you called me weak? Those are both lies. You know that I'm strong. I do mean something to you. I know that I do."

There was something a little soft in his eyes. He looked almost pained by the way that he was looking at me. Tears were flowing and I tried to wipe them from my eyes. This whole conversation hurt me more than anything else ever had. Every time that I wiped away the old tears the new ones would form.

"If I mean anything to you, you'll drop this conversation. Right now," I told him.

He clearly hadn't been expecting that one. He leaned into me and I tried to back into the wall as far as I could. "That's exactly the reason that I'm not dropping this," he said.

Despite the tears that were flowing I was able to keep my sobs silent. I was already basically screaming to him the truth. But he still wanted to hear me say it. We both knew that saying it would finally make the whole thing a reality. And Eric had to know that it was the truth. I had no clue what to say to him.

"Tell me the truth. What did you score on your Aptitude Test?" he repeated.

It seemed that he wasn't going to let this go until I told him the truth. Not that I hadn't seen that one coming. There was no chance that he was going to let this go. I just wished that I could go back to dinner and never answer my friend's questions. It was my own damn fault that Eric not knew the truth.

"Amity," I answered softly.

My eyes were diverted to the ground but one shake from Eric and I glanced back up at him. His eyes were strong and beady. They were harder than I had ever seen them. I had always seen some emotion flit through his eyes when he looked at me. Except for right now. They were stone cold.

"One last time. What did you score on your Aptitude Test?" he asked.

"Amity," I said weakly.

It was so soft that I thought that he might not have even heard me. But he had. And he made it loud and clear. Without giving me a moment to compose myself he reeled his hand back and sent it flying forward. His hand came hard across my face and my head was thrown back, my temple smacking against the side of the wall. I cried out softly, mostly in shock.

Eric had only ever hit me once before this. And I knew that this time was about twenty times harder. The last time had only been a little slap. This time he had hit me with full force. It hurt like hell. I leaned back away from him and let my tears fall steadily. Screw him calling me a coward, I couldn't believe that he had hit me. But actually I could. I had seen it coming. He had hit me before. He had beaten the hell out of me. He had thrown me over the Chasm. None of those had been in malice.

This was the first time that he had done it and meant it. "Don't you dare think that I wanted to do that," he mumbled.

Some emotion had come back into his voice as his hands came up to trace the sides of my face. I flinched slightly at the sudden pain that went through my cheek from the hard hit and I noticed his hands shy away from me slightly. Was he sorry that he had hit me? No. He couldn't have been. I had the hit coming.

"Divergent," he growled. Just hearing him say the word hurt. "For a long time I didn't know what they were. I didn't know who they were. Jeanine always made them out to be monsters. Maybe they are. I don't know since you won't tell me truth. Do I know anything about you? Is anything that you told me the truth?"

Another burst of anger shot through me as I shoved him back from me. He hadn't been expecting it as he took half a step backwards. I had told him the truth. Almost everything had been the truth. The only thing that I had lied about was this. It was the only lie that I had ever told him.

"Yes!" I yelled. "Everything that I told you was the truth."

He didn't budge as he took another step towards me. He was staring at me like he had never seen me before. Even though I wanted to curl in on myself and either cry or die, I knew that I had to be strong about this. It was time to face my demons. It had finally come out in the open and we would have to talk about it.

"So what happens now? You kill me? You bring me to her? I know that she wants to kill all of them. So you make your choice. I won't blame you," I told him.

Another tear fell and I shied away once more as Eric came to wipe the tear away. It sent a wave of pain through my cheek. That hit would definitely leave a bruise in the morning. "You think that after everything, everything that I've ever told you, I would just hand you over to her like that? Take care of you myself?" he asked.

It felt like all of the ice in my veins had melted. "What?" I asked softly.

Honestly I couldn't understand what was happening right now. Was he telling me that he wasn't going to kill me? That he cared for me enough to keep me alive? I wasn't sure. So I shook my head. I wasn't sure what the truth was. I knew that I didn't want him to kill me but I wouldn't blame him if he did. "

Why did you never tell me?" he asked.

He was Jeanine's right hand man. He was hunting people just like me. "Look at who you are, Eric!" I yelled.

His eyes hardened but I saw the storm of emotion flitting behind his eyes. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You work for her. She wants all of them dead. She wants me dead," I told him, essentially admitting to him what I was. "Why the hell are you working for her?" He stayed silent. It killed me. I wanted to know why he worked for her. Especially since he hated her. "If you aren't going to turn me in then what's the point? Do you genuinely believe that there's something bad about me? Look at me. Have you ever been afraid of me? Have you ever thought that I was that different?"

"Of course not," he said.

He was never afraid of me. He never would be afraid of me. I was nothing compared to him. "I know," I muttered.

"The only thing that scares me right now is how you've managed to keep this a secret," Eric said, making me sigh.

It wasn't a secret. But not for everyone. Jeanine knew. So did Max, Tori, and Four. And now Eric. But that didn't matter. People weren't supposed to know. No one was supposed to know. Eric couldn't know. There was one last secret that I had to keep with him. For two weeks I had to keep this secret.

"If you took the Aptitude Test you know that someone else knows what you are. And Four. He monitors the sims. People like you can tell that it's not real. I didn't catch you when I was monitoring the sims. Someone's taught you to keep it a secret," he said.

"Yes," I muttered, even though he knew the truth.

"More than one person," he added.

It was an afterthought but that didn't make it untrue. He was right. There was more than one person involved in this. But I had to keep Four out of this. Maybe there was a chance that Eric would protect me. But there was no chance that he would protect Four. He would look for a way to get him killed.

"Four has nothing to do with this. Someone else taught me," I said softly.

Not that I would know a name to give if Eric wanted one. I supposed that I could have thrown Damien under the bus. He was already out at the Fence. There was nothing more that could be done to him at this point. But Eric probably wouldn't actually believe that it was the truth.

"Keeping him safe?" Eric asked.

"No," I said, shaking my head quickly.

He couldn't know that Four was helping me. I was not going to kill him. I was not going to get him killed because I was in hot water here. "I don't give a damn whether or not Four's keeping your secret. If I wanted to sell him out it means that I have to say which one of you... is," he told me slowly.

"You can't even say it," I muttered.

It was like a bad word to him. He stared at me for a moment more before shaking his head. "Stay here," he instructed. I nodded again and watched as he backed away.

He headed straight back into the room that I had always assumed was his office and he walked in, swinging the door shut behind him. Almost immediately I let out a deep breath and fell back against the counter. I hadn't realized it but I had mostly been holding my breath. My heart was pounding as I waited for him. Was he going to call someone to take care of me because he couldn't do it himself?

My entire body shook with nerves as I took a seat in one of the chairs at the counter. He knew the truth. Eric actually knew the truth of what I was. The one person that I had tried the hardest to hide it from was now privy to my secret. And I was confused beyond belief. I didn't know what was going to happen. I couldn't tell whether or not he was going to hurt me. He wasn't an easy man to read. He never had been. That was part of why I had liked him in the first place.

I glanced over into the sparkling counter and saw the slightly blue mark beginning to form on my cheek. Damn him. I heard the door to the office open again and I glanced up to see that Eric was holding a strange looking object. It had an odd metal spike with three pegs coming off of it, and a blue hologram popping up in front of them. It looked like some type of torture device. I felt my heart lodge itself in my throat.

"Come here," he said.

I nodded and jumped off of the seat, walking over to him as he pointed at the machine. "What is that?" I asked.

"This is a scanner. It will tell me everything that I need to know," he said.

"Okay."

In all honesty I'd just wanted to say something to break the silence. I had already known what this was. It told the Divergent percentage. Buck had told us about it months ago. I watched as he placed the scanner over my face. It gave a small ding and I looked at the number. One hundred percent.

"No. Damn it!" Eric yelled.

It really wasn't a good thing. I'd already known that it wasn't a good thing. I jumped as he slammed his fist against the wall behind my head. Tears began to form in my eyes again and it only took a moment before they began to fall. I turned to see a slight dent in the wall behind me and I gave a soft shiver. His slap was nothing.

"Has Jeanine Matthews said anything to you? Has she spoken to you since Amity?" he asked.

"No," I lied.

Eric couldn't know the truth. He deserved that much. This was one lie that I needed to tell him. He didn't need to spend the next two weeks worrying just as much as I was. I knew that my face was steady enough that he would buy into the lie. The only thing that I wanted or needed him to believe was that he could keep me safe. He deserved to know that much.

"You haven't seen her?" Eric asked.

"I haven't seen her," I told him softly.

The relief flooded in his eyes. I wished that I was telling him the truth. "Good. You keep away from her, you understand me?" he half-asked and half-ordered.

"Okay," I said, nodding at him.

He deserved to not have to know the truth. He deserved some ounce of peace of mind. "She doesn't know about you. Not yet. During the fear landscape you say nothing to her. When Max offers you a job you deny leadership. Tell him that it's too much," he continued.

"Okay," I repeated.

He was going to protect me. He was always going to protect me. "They watch those on leadership too closely. They'll watch you like a hawk," he said almost bitterly.

Weakly I nodded at him again. What he didn't know was that he was already too late. They were watching me like a hawk. And the moment that he found out the truth, that Jeanine already knew what I was, he was going to explode. I was sure that he was already only seconds from exploding. Eric leaned into me slowly and I winced as he brushed over my cheek once more. He wiped a tear from my eye and came to let his hand fall on my shoulder.

"Why don't you turn me in?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"What?" Eric asked blankly.

"It's your job to kill anyone Divergent and hand them to Jeanine Matthews. So why don't you do something?" I asked.

He shifted slightly and grabbed my hand, walking me over to the edge of the couch. His arms were slightly tighter around me than they needed to be. It almost made me feel a little bit better. It helped just to know that he was going to be there for me. I took a seat next to him and turned to lean into him slightly.

"Do you remember that fear sim that you just had?" Eric asked.

"Yes," I said, knowing that he meant the one where he had attacked me.

"Everything that you said to me? I told you things that no one else knows. You know more than my best friend. You know everything. And I will protect you," he said.

His voice was strong and confident. It was even stronger than I had ever heard him before. He was so sure that he could protect me from everything. But he was too late. He leaned in to kiss me and as our lips met I felt a tear fall, tracing in between our cheeks. He leaned away from me and I nodded at him.

"Really?" I asked weakly.

"Of course. She'll never lay a hand on you. Not while I'm around," he said determinedly.

It hurt me more than he could ever know. I wished that I could tell him the entire truth about myself but I had to hide this. I reached up slowly and wound my hands around the back of his neck. My cheek was throbbing painfully as he traced the outline of it, probably feeling a little bad for hitting me. He kissed me again and wiped a few tears away from my eyes. I was sure that this was the softest that I had ever seen him.

"Amity," I said quickly, in between kisses.

He broke away from me and glanced down at me. "What?" he asked.

"Abnegation. Erudite. Dauntless. All of them but Candor," I admitted.

He stared at me for a moment and I waited to see what his reaction was. It took him a moment longer than I had been expecting and I waited for him to say something. I was shaking slightly as I waited for his answer. The corners of his lips turned upwards, making me smile awkwardly.

"I see why you didn't get Candor," he said. I laughed under my breath and shook my head. This was my Eric. He kissed me again before leaning away from me. "You should have told me. This is a secret bigger than you. There are so many more than you. You're all in danger."

But I knew that it was only me that he cared about. Not Four. Not any of the rest of them. I was the only one that he cared for. And as much as that warmed my heart, I knew that it wasn't enough. I needed someone that cared about us all. I was the only one that had the chance to convince Eric to turn around and do that right thing.

"Eric, you can change this," I told him.

He leaned away from me and arched his pierced brow. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You can never go back to her. You can tell everyone what's happening. You can change whatever it is that she's doing. Eric, you are a good man. I believe that. This is your chance to show me. Show me what a good man you can be," I told him.

He stared at me and I grabbed his hands, bringing them into my lap. He shook his head and I felt my heart shatter slightly. He could have done something. I knew that he could. He was not my white knight, but he had the potential to be a good man. I would believe that until the day that I died.

"You overestimate me. I'm not as good as you think that I am. I promise you that," he said and I shook my head.

"That's not the truth. You're a good man. I'll always believe that," I said.

"It's nice but not the truth. I promise you that I will protect you. I won't hurt you. I won't let her hurt you," he said.

I nodded and let a few tears slip out of my eyes. He didn't understand that my lies still hadn't stopped. He didn't know that I was going to die. Maybe not at his hands, but I was going to die. He didn't understand that something was still happening with Jeanine and I. He never would.

"Don't cry. I don't deal with crying girls well," he said.

I laughed softly under my breath and shook my head as he wiped the tears away from my eyes. He kissed me again and leaned me back against the couch as I settled in between his legs. He cared. He cared more than I had ever thought that he did. He cared enough to not kill me. He cared enough to try and save my life. It was more than I had thought that he was going to do for me. And that was enough for me.

"Thank you," I said softly, breaking the kiss.

His pierced brow raised at my words and I knew that he didn't understand what I meant. He leaned into me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him, trying to savor every last moment of the two weeks that I had with him. His lips gently brushed across my temple and I smiled at him.

"For what?" Eric asked.

Once more I shook my head and smiled at him again. I grabbed his hands and drug my nails over the palm of his hands. I wanted him. More than I ever had. Maybe it was the knowledge that he had saved me for another two weeks. Or maybe it was just because I was always attracted to him. Maybe it was because, just for this moment, he was my white knight.

"Everything. For being the man that I know you are. For not telling the truth about what I am," I said.

"I'll always keep your secret."

"And I'm sorry for lying to you," I told him.

 _I'm sorry for continuing to lie to you_. He grinned and pulled me to my feet. I laughed softly and let him walk me back to the bed. We fell back as our knees hit the edge of the bed and I laughed as we fell together. I leaned over Eric and kissed him deeply. He pulled away from me and tugged on my hair, brushing it back behind my ears. Although he did keep a tight hold on it. That was the way that he had always liked it.

"Don't thank me. Don't ever thank me," he said.

My head tilted to the side. "Why not?" I asked. I had so much to thank him for.

"Alex, I'm not as good as you think I am," he said.

"You are."

"I'm not. But I'm working on it. I've heard your friends tell you that I'm not worthy enough for you. I am," he said.

Grabbing his hand again, I nodded at him. "You are. I know that you are," I whispered.

I couldn't help it. I smiled softly. He never spoke like this. He was worthy of me. "I'll prove that to you. This one thing, this is how it starts," he said.

"I think you're better than you think you are," I told him.

"I'm not."

"You are. Stop arguing with me."

For once he actually nodded at me as I leaned in to kiss him. It was nice to see that for once he was just going to listen to me and let me boss him around. We tangled together as Eric pushed me back into the bed, probably savoring me. It made it easier that he knew the truth now but it still hurt in two weeks Eric was going to know that I had still lied to him. He would know that I was lying to him right now. I would always lie to him. Because that was just the type of person that I was.

He was a better person than me. No matter what he thought, he would always be the better person. I leaned into him and pulled the shirt free from his shoulders. He watched as I smiled, trying to ignore the sense of impending doom that had sunken into my chest. I hated having to lie to him. I hated knowing that in two weeks I was still going to be stuck with Jeanine. But at least I now knew one thing for sure. Eric was not going to be the one to kill me.

I grabbed Eric's hand and pulled him up from off of the bed. He stared at me with a raised eyebrow as I pulled him over to the couch. He looked a little confused as I shoved him back onto it and climbed onto his lap. He was laughing softly as I straddled him and attached my lips to his. He smirked into the kiss as my hands dropped down and fiddled with the buttons on his pants. He was clearly enjoying that for once I was the one that wanted to take control. There wasn't much more time that we had left so I wanted to make the most out of it.

"What are you doing?" Eric growled.

"Shut up or I stop."

That was enough to silence him as I grinned against his lips. I wanted to enjoy the time that I had left with him. The button on his pants popped open and I shoved them over his hips. He rose up from the couch for a moment and I laughed as he took my entire weight with him. He was always stronger than I wanted to credit him for. They went down over his legs and I felt him kick them off, shoving them into the corner of the room.

I laughed softly as his hands went around my upper back and dug into my shoulder blades. His hands slithered down over my back and I shivered as he grabbed the bottom of my shirt to pull it over my head. I detached my mouth from his long enough to let it slip over my head and watch as he tossed it into the corner of the room.

Honestly I was sure that I was never going to be getting that shirt back but I wasn't so sure that I could bring myself to care. His room was hiding plenty of clothes discarded in late night hastes. I leaned in to Eric once more and pressed our bodies together. My hands wound around his shoulders and I dug them into his hair. It was soft in between my fingers. It was always softer than I thought that it would be.

His hands wound themselves into my hair and I moaned as they caught against the roots of my hair and tugged. It sent a cold chill up my spine and I smiled into the kiss. He grabbed my head and tilted it back as his mouth ran down from my mouth to my chin down my neck and landed at my shoulder.

It only took him a moment to pull the strap off of my shoulder and I smiled as it landed on my upper bicep. He pulled the cup of the bra over my chest and I laughed as it slipped down my front. He leaned down and I felt him rub against my core. I shivered slightly and tried to rub myself against him again. I really wanted the friction. But of course he wasn't going to give it to me. Not yet. Not until he was good and ready. He was that type of man.

His mouth attached itself to my chest and I sighed as his tongue swirled over my nipple. A sharp roll of my hips came with the sudden intrusion of his mouth around my nipple and he groaned as I rubbed myself against him. For a brief moment he pulled himself off of me and lifted me up, making me cry out softly. For some reason I had thought that he might throw me to the floor. Instead he ripped off my underwear and pants in one quick swoop.

He dropped me back on top of him and I laughed, feeling suddenly a little ashamed. Eric was not one for subtlety and he was not one for shame. He was going to do whatever he wanted to me without asking if it was alright. And that was perfectly fine with me. Eric grabbed my legs and wrenched them apart so that I was sitting over his lap again. My head fell back slightly and it made me jump as he gave no warning before shoving a finger into me.

That made me throw my head back as his tongue lapped over my nipple and his teeth clenched around it. I cried out softly as his finger curled inside of me and I reached up to wrap my fingers in his hair. I grabbed on tightly but it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. He merely slipped another finger inside of me, stretching my walls slightly.

My voice went slightly hoarse as the thrusts of his fingers were so hard that they shoved my entire body upwards with them. I was quaking under him slightly and he knew it as he gave one last sharp tug on my nipple before backing away from me again and attacking my mouth. That was all that I wanted. I laughed softly as my hands wrapped around the back of his neck and my legs began to shake with anticipation.

His thumb was rubbing circles on my clit and his fingers were going in between pumping and curling inside of me. I began to bob with his thrusts so that I could meet them and I shivered under his touch. I wanted all of him in me but I knew that he wasn't going to give it to me until he was ready. In the meantime I was so close. I was right there. But I wasn't sure whether or not he was going to actually let me come undone. Probably not.

He didn't tend to like me get all the way there without him in me. Just as the stars started to flood into my vision he pulled himself away. _I knew it._ I should have figured that he wasn't going to let me get off. He always thought that it was funny to make me wait. He pulled away and I moaned at the sudden loss of him.

"Shut up. You'll get it."

Eric was smirking at me and I shook my head as I shifted off of his lap for a moment to rip the underwear off of him. He kicked them off quickly before shoving them into the far corner of the apartment. I laughed as he sprang free of the confines of his underwear. It was almost like a cartoon. My hand wrapped around his length and I gave a few pumps before leaning down and licking over his entire length. My back was curved and his hands were tight over my ribs as I ran my tongue over his head.

His entire body shivered and his legs gave a small quake. His grip on me tightened and I knew that it was going to leave bruises in the morning. But it was all well worth it. I liked feeling like even for a brief moment I could be in control of him. My tongue swirled over his head and I glanced up, meeting his eyes for a moment as I closed my mouth over his head. His eyes rolled back into his head for a moment and I smirked. Making eye contact always turned them on.

For a little while I went to his base and licked my way all the way up to his tip, moving my tongue from side to side. Judging by Eric's grunts I assumed that he really liked it. I pushed him as far into my mouth as I could go and began swirling my tongue around him. I could feel him jerking underneath me slightly, his grunts becoming more strained. For a while I rolled my mouth up and down his impressive length, taking nearly all of him into my mouth. He was slightly too large but I was close.

With the length that I was missing I grabbed him with my hand and began to pump softly. I began quickly moving up and down his length before drastically slowing down, allowing him to revel in the slow pace. His groan became almost pathetic and I smirked. As I continued to run up and down his length I took my hands and gently scratched my nails over his hips. He bucked slightly at the feeling.

It wasn't long before he got sick of me being in control. He hated being out of control. He knew as well as I did that he was always in control. Today it didn't bother me. He lifted me up and I sat back on my heels, leaning down onto him. His head hit my entrance and I groaned as my walls stretched as I sank down on top of him. He slipped into me and I gave a soft hiss as I sank the entire way onto him. He gave a groan as well as he let me tighten my thighs around him.

His mouth came down on mine and I smiled into the kiss as I began to slowly bob up and down on him. For a moment we moved together but I quickly realized that I wanted something more. I wanted to do something different. I grabbed Eric and pulled him off of me. He watched as I pulled him to jump over the back of the couch. He watched me with a smirk as I sat on the top of the couch and spread my legs. Eric smirked as he walked over to me and pushed my legs apart.

He shoved himself into me and I threw my head back, leaning back far enough to have him enter me as deeply as he could without making me fall back onto the couch. The two of us rocked together as he pushed himself roughly into me. I groaned and spread my legs a little bit more, positioning my feet on the top of the couch. Eric kept the two of us together as he continued to rock into me, muttering profanities into my ear as I grabbed my hair and pulled me towards him.

The two of us rocked together for a while before he gave me a rough shove. I laughed as he fell out of me and I fell back onto the couch. Eric jumped over the back of the couch before placing himself in between my legs and laying back. Our legs crossed over each others as we laid on opposite ends of the couch and lifted up our hips to meet each others. I grunted as our hips ground together and we continued to meet our thrusts.

Eric's hands were wrapped around my ass to repetitively pull me into him and I knew that it was so that he could control the pace. He was actually going relatively slow and I moaned as the pleasure began to build in my stomach. All I wanted him to do was pound into me. But he had already done that and now he was relying on teasing and torturing me. I wanted him more than anything. I always wanted him. I would want him for the rest of my life. But tonight was the last night. And I was going to enjoy it.

Not waiting for him anymore I began to pick up the pace to make it slightly more frantic as I began to lift my hips up to meet his thrusts frantically. His hands were bruising against my ass. He chuckled under his breath and his pants became shorter as we rocked together. To my surprise Eric grabbed me around the hips and lifted me up, pulling me straight into his lap. I laughed softly as we met chest-to-chest and Eric began bouncing me upwards, entering me even deeper than before.

My chest was bouncing in his face and Eric was quick to press a hot kiss against my mouth. Our tongues traced together as Eric's hands wrapped into my hair, tangling the strands around his fingers and pushing the slightly sweaty ends off of my forehead. I was pretty sure that he was going to let me continue rocking my hips against him, grinding my clit against his pelvic bone, only adding to my pleasure, but he took over before I got the chance.

He grabbed me tightly underneath my ass and I cried out loudly, wrapping my thighs tightly against him as he began to pump into me at a pace that only Eric could. He was the only man that I knew that could go quite as fast as he could, and I reveled in it as the pace went from somewhere between painful and a bliss that I'd never felt before. I let my head fall back and I yelled out. There was the familiar bundle in my stomach and I felt like it was about to explode. And I was right. It did.

Just at the same time that he came undone, I did as well. We both fell together as the stars exploded behind my eyes. I could barely see anything as Eric gave a few last desperate pumps into me and I felt the familiar sticky substance slide down my thighs. I shivered and leaned into him. My head fell against his as we both took a few desperate breaths, almost like we had been forgetting to breathe. I groaned as he grabbed me and lifted me up without pulling out of me. To my surprise, instead of bringing us over to the bed, he merely leaned us over to the side and laid us on the couch.

A small smile fell over my face. Eric had never done this before. His couch wasn't that big so we were almost forced to cuddle. He still hadn't pulled out of me when he pressed his front against my back, wrapping an arm over my hips and tossing a blanket that had been laid over the back of the couch over me. I smiled when I realized that it was the same blanket that he normally let me use. I tucked it underneath my chin and placed my foot over his.

Eric placed a pillow underneath his head and allowed me to use his bicep as a pillow. As our breathing went back to normal Eric finally pulled out of me. I shook slightly at the loss of him and I smiled, turning back around and leaning into him for a kiss. He grabbed the back of my head and kept my mouth against his for a moment, the two of our tongues tangling together. It was a few minutes before we separated and laid back together.

It was probably the most romantic night that we had ever had together. Although it was a little annoying that even Eric's couch was more comfortable than the beds that were in the dorms. As we laid on the couch I smiled at the heat that was radiating off of him. Eric wrapped an arm a little tighter around me and I smiled. His hand pressed roughly on my hip and we both smiled. I leaned in to give him one last kiss before we both settled down. My hair was over my shoulder and I grinned as he kissed me on the back of the neck, making me laugh softly.

"So... Have you ever let another woman sleep on your couch?" I asked teasingly.

"No. Only you."

"Aren't I special?"

Eric's lips traced over the back of my neck again, making me shiver. I could tell that he was smiling. "You are," he said lowly.

A small blush fell over my face. "Goodnight Eric," I said softly.

He didn't say anything back but he did nip the bare skin of my shoulder, making me shiver slightly. My leg fell back over his and he grabbed me tightly against him like it was the last night that he would ever spend with me. Maybe this was the last night that we were going to be together. But it was a perfect one.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter! **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **Debbydq: Well I hope this was good for letting Eric find out about her Divergence! I wanted him to be sort of okay with it, but also be completely pissed at her for hiding it. I'm glad that you're loving it!**

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you liked this one too! :)**

 **Derbygirl63: Thanks! I get a little worried that people like the original story so much that they hate it when author's make big changes. I agree, the Bureau part was really strange for me. I thought it made no sense. Oh he's going to lose his mind when he finds out that she's the one coming to check out the Box. I don't think he likes surprises either, but as for this one, she's going to still keep part of it a secret. I hope you enjoy the next one!**

 **Guest: Thanks so much! I hope you continue to enjoy it!**

 **Guest: Thanks! Well he knows that she's Divergent and he somewhat accepts it. About as much as he possibly can.**


	10. Chapter 10

Two weeks had gone by faster than I had thought was possible. It felt like they had flown by. It felt like it had only been a day or two, not fourteen. It was like my clock was running down and the universe was laughing at me. Like it wanted to see my life come to a screeching halt. And it was about to.

Lauren's fear landscape was nothing more than a little blip in my day. Everyone seemed to hate it and think that it ate up too much of their precious time, which it kind of did. They had no idea how precious time really was. They had no idea that the hour and a half I'd spent practicing Lauren's fear landscape over the past two weeks might have been some of the last few hours that I'd spend on my own free will, and I didn't intend to tell them that.

But I was trying my hardest not to dwell on the ending of this story. I was trying to focus on just how well I had done during initiation. I was trying to think about how I had proven everyone wrong. The Amity transfer that people thought would die in the first week was going to come in first place at the end of initiation.

The shortest time that I had gotten attempting Lauren's fear landscape was seven minutes. The next shortest time from someone other than my friends was eleven minutes, from Dante. He had always been pretty good with the mental part of training. My friends had all shifted in the rankings slightly but I was still at the top of the board. Tonight was the last night of the fear landscape practice runs. I hadn't gone today. I'd spent the entire day in the training room. Tomorrow was the final fear landscape. It would be the only time that I would ever see my own fear landscape.

Tomorrow was a big day for more than that. There were plenty of other things that I had to take care of. Tomorrow might be the day that my life was going to end. Tomorrow was the day that I was going to have to face off against Jeanine Matthews. It was the day that I was sure was never really going to come. But it was almost here and I was almost out of time. And, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was afraid. I had been trying to deny it for months but I was afraid. Now I was finally able to admit it.

Unfortunately there was nothing that I could do. There was no way to get out of all of this. All that was left to do was to play along with Four. That was the only thing that I could do. The only thing that I could do was hope that my plan was going to work. It was by no means a good one but it was more than we had come up with in weeks. I could just hope that Four would stay by my side when I finally came clean to him about my awful plan.

The plan had taken me the entirety of the past two weeks but it wasn't much for the time that I'd had to figure things out. At least it was more of a plan then Four had, which was close to nothing. I hadn't heard anything from Max or Jeanine. I supposed that it was a good thing. I was nervous enough as the days counted down. Anything from Max or Jeanine would make me sure to take my hand off while practicing with the knives.

Other than a few strange looks I had barely noticed Max since he had brought me into his office for a meeting. I was wondering if they thought that I was too afraid and wouldn't show up at Erudite tonight. Or maybe they thought that it was because I was afraid that something would happen if I didn't come. They would be right. I wasn't willing to risk seeing what would happen if I didn't show up. I would hate for something to happen to my family's life or anyone else's.

Once more my mind went drifting back to Eric and everything that was going to happen between us. Things were good for right now but I wasn't sure what was going to happen once he learned that I was still lying to him. I didn't want him to hate me once he found out that I was the one that Jeanine wanted to talk or show something. Either way Eric had been good to me for the past few weeks. He had been good about keeping my secret and not hanging it over my head.

It had only come up in conversation a few times and each time it was usually a joke pointed at me. He had clearly come to the conclusion that my being Divergent was only dangerous for one person. Myself. It made my heart swell that he only wanted to protect me. But I wished that he didn't have to. It shouldn't be his job. It didn't really matter. I knew that if I survived tomorrow I wasn't ever going to be with Eric. Jeanine would never let me.

I'd spent most of my nights with Eric lately and it didn't seem that it had bothered him one bit. He probably thought that it was because I liked his bed more than my own, which was true, but it was mostly because the end of our relationship had been pushed back another two weeks. But the end was still in sight.

It turned out that I had only spent about three nights a week at the dorms with my friends. They had simply been teasing me that I was enjoying spending time with 'my man.' Heather was still the only one that knew about Eric. I would eventually tell my friends that Eric and I had been a thing. Hell, I'd love to see the reaction I'd get from that. But that day was still a ways away.

Completely different from my personal relationships there was also the rankings. They had shifted slightly over the past two weeks while everyone was practicing the fear landscapes and going back to physical training on their off days. Some of the changes were for the better and others made me want to tear my hair out. I was still in the number one spot and Aaron was still trailing me. Dante was behind him, having pushed Jackson back into the fourth spot.

Draven, Michael, Greg, Jax, Buck, and Heather were rounding out the top ten. I was glad to see that Heather was still safe from Fence duty. Jet, Cole, Lisa, Darren, Serena, Sara, Jason, and Jade were following them. Colt was behind Jade, unfortunately safe from being thrown out of Dauntless. As long as he didn't screw up his fear landscape he would be staying, but in a low ranking. He would at least be on Fence duty most of the time. Aria and Hunter were set to be leaving Dauntless tomorrow afternoon.

At least one person I hated would be leaving. Even with two people leaving tomorrow, and so close to the end, the party was in full swing. Everyone was celebrating the end to Dauntless initiation. Even though there was still one day left people were thrilled that after a long eight months training would be ready to end. Everyone was taking the opportunity to celebrate. Even those that never partied were down in the Pit. Like Four.

After all, these eight months had seemed like they were never going to end. But it was here now and there was only one more thing that I needed to do before the final fear landscape. Tonight I would be going to Candor with Four. I knew the one thing that I needed to grab. Maybe it was the one thing in my plan that was a good idea. Or maybe it would end up fucking me over. Either way, we were leaving in a few minutes.

Despite the fact that it had been a good day so far I knew that it was time to get to work. There was only so long that I could enjoy myself. That came with the territory of being a Divergent. We never seemed to be able to enjoy ourselves. I leaned over to talk to Heather, who was dancing at my side. We had been dancing for most of the night and my thighs were killing me. It was mostly us trying to enjoy our last moments as initiates. At least, that was what Heather was doing. I was enjoying what very well might be my last night of freedom and the last few moments that I had with my friends.

"Hey, I'm heading out for the night," I mumbled to Heather.

She turned to me and said, "I figured you'd be leaving soon."

"I'll see you in the morning. Tell everyone else that I said goodnight."

They had all scattered long ago. Some had gone with girls that they were hoping to get lucky with, others were hanging with the Dauntless born, some were in the fighting pits, and the rest were all hanging around the bar. It was the first night that I'd really seen them cut completely loose.

"I will," she said.

"Thanks."

I smiled at her and walked over to the edge of the Pit. She was on my heels as we marched over to the edge of the dance floor. I could see Four making his way slowly out of the Wolf's Den too. It was a good thing that Eric seemed to be in the middle of a meeting. He was speaking with the other leaders frantically which meant that he wasn't paying a lick of attention to me. As Heather and I made it to the edge of the Pit I saw that Four was standing a few meters away from me.

"Tell Eric I said hello," Heather teased.

I laughed and gave her a soft shove. She still got a kick out of making fun of me with Eric. "I'm sure that he says hello back," I said, winking at her.

Heather laughed and I shook my head. We both knew that Eric couldn't have cared less about her or any of the other initiates. He really couldn't care much about any of us. With me being the exception. I wrapped Heather into a quick hug before pulling away. I turned to leave and walked out of the Pit quickly, ensuring that Eric didn't see me slipping away. That would be a tough one to explain. I rounded the corner and smiled when I saw Four waiting for me. He was fast.

"Ready?" Four asked.

"Ready. To Candor we go," I said.

Four nodded and we walked together as we headed through the sub-levels of Dauntless. We were keeping a tiny bit of distance between us as we headed for the back entrance of Dauntless. The last thing that we needed was people thinking that there was something going on between the two of us. Like I didn't have enough problems. We walked out to the back of Dauntless and headed straight for the train tracks. I knew the schedule by heart; we had to wait a few moments for the train to come.

We stood together and I noticed that we were both shifting slightly as we waited for the train. It rounded the corner after a few minutes. Four and I began to sprint to catch it. I let Four catch the train first and he hung off of the edge of the car, holding a hand out to me. I grabbed it and let him pull me into the car. It was nicer than Eric, who had tripped me the last time that I was jumping into the train. He walked in after me and we both headed over to take a seat against the other wall.

My hands were shaking slightly and I wasn't quite sure why. I took in a few deep breaths, trying to shake out the nerves in my arms. My hands were shaking as I folded them over my thighs. If this was how I was acting on the way to Candor I wasn't ready to see how I was going to act on the way to Erudite tomorrow.

"Alex?" Four called.

"Yeah?"

He was staring sidelong at me. There was something almost weak in his eyes. I assumed that he had never felt the need to protect someone the way that he protected me before. His eyes were filled with worry but his face was stone cold. It was easy to see that he was getting more and more concerned for me the closer that we got to tomorrow night.

"What is it that you want to do in Candor? You said that you had a plan. Are you finally going to tell me what that is?" he asked.

It had completely slipped my mind that I had never told Four why I wanted to go to Candor with him. In fact, I hadn't really told him much of anything. I was just thrilled that he was sticking with me, no matter what. Even if I told him that I wanted to jump off of a cliff he would be there. That was the type of person that he was.

"That compliance serum," I said.

It was easy to see the shocked look that fell over Four's face. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You were saying that Candor is one of the few places that have it other than Erudite. I need a vial of it. Just one. I promise that I have a plan. It's not the best plan but it is something. I'll tell you what it is once I have the vial. I just need you to keep Jack Kang busy until I can get it," I explained.

My plan with the compliance serum was a terrible plan but it was better than the first few things that I had come up with. Although I was sure that Eric was going to kill me for it. I knew that he was going to be there and the moment that he realized what my plan was, I knew that he was going to lose his mind. Four probably would too.

"I can do that," Four said.

"Thanks."

"Just come wait outside the office once you have it. Make sure that no one sees you with it. They'll take it and bring you straight to Jeanine if they see you with it."

I was not planning on going to see Jeanine early. "Wouldn't that be a shame? Someone taking me to Jeanine a day early," I muttered to myself.

Four laughed and I smiled slightly, leaning into him. I was nervously braiding my hair as I pressed my back up against his chest and dropped my head back onto his shoulder. In the meantime Four was drawing the Dauntless fire symbol onto my upper back with his fingers. I figured that it was a nervous habit. I was afraid of what was going to happen tomorrow. And I knew that even though Four wasn't going to admit it, he was nervous too.

We both hated to admit it but we were afraid of Jeanine. She was the silent type of scary. In a fist fight I knew that we could both beat her. But she had the power and wits against us. It made for an extremely unfair fight. It wasn't that I was quite afraid to die but I was afraid that I was going to be powerless to stop a war that I had seen coming for months.

"Four?" I called.

He looked up from his lap to look over at me. "Yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything," I said softly.

His fingers stopped moving across my back as he let them fall over into my lap so that he could grab my hands. They were tight around my own and I dropped my head onto his shoulder. He would never make me feel the same way that Eric did, but I needed Four. I loved him. We were like family now and I knew that we always would be.

"Don't thank me. Not yet," he said.

"Why not?" I asked .

"I haven't done anything for you yet."

He didn't understand that he had done everything for me. The moment that he kept my secret was him doing something for me. "Trust me when I say that you have," I said.

"I'm going to try my hardest to help you tomorrow, but I'm not sure how much I can do."

Four had already done more for me than he would ever realize. I shook my head at him. "It doesn't matter. Not to me. All that matters to me is that you're trying," I said.

He smiled at me. Four was a good man. "And I'll continue trying until I can't," Four said determinedly.

I wished that this wasn't happening. I wanted Four to be with a nice girl that would love him. I didn't want him to have to fight a war that we were destined to lose. "Even if I die tomorrow or get put on display for the public to goggle at, all that matters is that you're here with me. You're doing more for me than you ever had to. Thank you, Four. You're a good man. You deserve better than this," I said.

He merely shrugged his shoulders and I leaned forward to look at him. "Maybe. But this is what I want," he said.

His arm wrapped back around my shoulders once more and I leaned into him, folding my feet underneath me. "Thank you," I whispered.

"I want to stop this war. I want to help you. I want to do something good in this world. And if that means spending my last moments at your side, fighting Jeanine, I'll be happy to say that that's the way that I went down fighting," he said.

His face was deadly serious and I couldn't help but to smile slightly. If it was the last thing that I was going to do I was going to make sure that Four was not going to go down fighting. He deserved to make it out of this mess. I could go down, but the last thing that I wanted was for Four to come with me.

"Thank you, Four," I told him softly.

No matter what he thought about all of this - whether or not he deserved the thanks - I was going to thank him. He had no clue that he had really helped me more than anyone else had. In fact, he had even more than Eric had. Four snorted and I shook my head at him.

"I'm serious. Thank you. For everything. No matter what you think you have or haven't done, thank you," I said.

He nodded at me but I knew that he really didn't believe that he had done anything. He probably would never think that he had helped me. "You're welcome, Alex."

"I would have lost my mind without you."

His head perked up slightly at my words and he looked over at me. "Really?" he asked.

He looked more than a little shocked that I had told him that. "Of course," I said with a small smile.

"Just so you know, I feel like I'm losing my mind whenever I'm with you," he said.

We both laughed loudly as I shook my head at him. I gave him a soft shove and shook my head irritably when it did absolutely nothing. He was stronger than me. Like Eric, my physical assaults were pretty much useless. Four looked up out of the door to the train and stood from his seat.

"We're here. Come on," he said.

It was already dark out when Four gave me a hand up. I took it and walked with him towards the edge of the train doors. I could see the Merciless Mart passing us by and I couldn't help but to wonder whether or not Iris and Florian called it that too. I was pretty sure that Candor didn't call it what the rest of us did. I let Four jump out first and watched as he stuck the landing. It was like he had glue on the bottom of his boots. I followed and tucked into a roll when I felt my legs give out from the momentum. Four grabbed me as I came back up, keeping me from keeling forward.

We took no time before heading straight into the Candor building and walked into the main lobby. It was extremely boring and a little eerie too. The air was cool to the point that it made Dauntless seem like it was constantly heated. And Dauntless was freezing with the exception of the training room. I supposed that was why everyone in the main lobby was wearing long pants and jackets. They were all looking over at Four and I like we were the dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

They probably thought that we were. Although Candor was probably the most similar to Dauntless, they still didn't like us. They were colder and more calculating. My knee length pants and tight tank top which rode up slightly on my stomach suddenly made me feel extremely under-dressed as I glanced over at a woman in a sharp white suit. She clearly didn't like Four and I being here.

The lobby was horrifically tall, leaving the main area open all the way to the top of the skyscraper. It almost made me a little sick. There only other thing there was a reception desk. There were also two elevators that I assumed would take someone to the rest of the Faction. There weren't even people milling around. Other than Four, myself, and the receptionist, there were only another two or three people around. They all seemed to be in a hurry to go somewhere else. The strangest thing was that no one bothered to say anything to us. Even in Erudite someone had said something to us.

Of course I had been with Eric at the time and even though Four had a powerful air about him, Eric was much more imposing. Plus most people knew that Eric was a leader and they knew that he wasn't someone to trifle with. I would rather have Four angry with me than Eric.

"What do you need?" a woman call ed from behind us.

Four and I turned back to see a woman with a clipboard standing a few feet from us. It looked like she wanted nothing to do with us. She was wearing a tight white skirt and a slightly loose black button down shirt. If she would smile I was sure that she would have been extremely pretty. But she had her dark hair pulled back in a tight bun and was staring at us with a stern expression. The glasses that were raised high on her nose made her looked extremely irritated. It seemed to be a common trait in Candor.

While I stared awkwardly at the woman and glanced over to scrutinize her, thankfully Four spoke up. "My name is Four," he told her, holding out his hand for her to shake. She looked horrified at the prospect of touching him but she did give him a quick shake before retracting her hand. She looked more than relieved that I didn't put out my hand for her to shake. "I'm a trainer and surveillance manager in Dauntless. I have an appointment with Jack Kang right now."

"Yes. We have you on the schedule. You are?" she asked me.

My voice lodged itself in my throat. "This is one of my initiates. I've brought her here on orders from Max," Four said, thankfully thinking more than I was.

"For?" the woman asked.

I fought to steel my face, hoping that I wasn't going to give anything away. She had the capability to pick out our lies. "She needs to head downstairs," Four explained.

I assumed that that was where the compliance serum was stored. How Four knew that I was pretty sure that I didn't want to know. He had to have done something illegal to get that knowledge. The woman stared for a moment before turning back to Four. She still looked less than impressed with us.

"Right. Jack Kang is waiting for you. I take it you know where the office is?" she asked Four.

"I do," he said.

"Do you know where you're going?" the woman asked me.

I froze in my spot, half pleased that she hadn't picked out my lie and half afraid of what to say now. "Yes," I mumbled.

The woman nodded back at me before turning. "Head straight there and do not touch anything or speak with anyone. People are busy," she snapped, storming away.

That was the good thing about Candor. They were always so busy that sometimes they couldn't see the lies that were right in front of them. I watched as the woman stormed away, staring at her clipboard like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. My eyebrows were nearly up to my forehead. She had been everything and nothing like I was anticipating a Candor member to be like. I hoped that Iris and Florian hadn't become like that.

"She's pleasant," I mumbled.

Four laughed and nodded, leading me down the first hall to an elevator. "That's Candor for you," he said.

Jack Kang's office was on the top floor. Iris had mentioned it when she and Florian had been in Dauntless. "Alright, go. I need the distraction," I said, knowing that I needed the time to go and grab the serum.

Before I could walk through the hall Four reached out and caught my arm. "Alex," he called.

"What?"

"Do you know where you're going?" he asked.

"Yeah."

But that was a complete lie. I really had no idea where I was going but I did know that it was down in the sub-levels. I was sure that there weren't too many doors that I would have to look through. Hopefully it would be easy enough to find. I would just have to be careful not to get caught by anyone.

"I don't know where they keep the compliance serum but I think that it's in the sub-levels somewhere. Just go fast," he said.

"Got it."

"You have an hour at the most, okay?"

"Okay, Four. I got it. Just go," I said.

Hopefully I would be done within twenty-five minutes to be safe. The last thing I wanted was someone to catch either one of us and report us to Jeanine. "Alright, I'm going to be out of here in about an hour. Be ready to go. Meet me back here when you're done," he said.

"No problem," I said, giving him a gentle shove towards the elevator. I pressed the button for him to get him to leave. "Go. Now. I can figure this out."

The elevator gave a soft ding. The doors slid open and Four nodded at me before disappearing into it. The doors quickly closed and I watched for a moment, the numbers ticking upwards on the electric reader above the doors. Once it hit the fifth floor I turned and walked away, following the signs towards the staircase. I didn't want to use the elevator just in case someone saw me and asked what I was doing. It was pretty obvious that I was Dauntless and didn't belong here. Even if it took me longer, I was going to be sticking to the back hallways.

As I opened the door to the staircase I let out a breath when no alarm went off. I knew that a few of the staircases in Dauntless were armed with alarms. Thankfully Candor was not quite so mistrusting. As I descended over the steps and headed to the sub-levels, which seemed to be a few floors below the main lobby, I started to think back to just how I was going to be able to sneak out a vial of the serum. I was sure that it was going to be guarded. They would have to be morons if they didn't keep it guarded.

Or maybe the doors had some high security lock on them. Either way, it was not going to be easy to get into the room. I would have to find the room first. I had no clue what it looked like and no clue where it was. I could only hope that an hour was enough time to find it. The woman out in the lobby was going to kick my ass back over to Dauntless if she found me snooping in the serum room. If I could manage to find it.

The door that I came up on had a large S printed on the walls but I could tell that a few floors were still below us. I groaned softly. It was nearly impossible to figure out. I decided to go give it a chance as I walked over to the door and threw it open. I walked out into the hall and froze when I saw that there must have been at least thirty doors on this single hall. This was going to take me all night. But I had to find where these serums were. It was vital to my plan.

"Alex?" a soft voice called.

Slightly surprised from the call, I turned back on instinct to see a pair that was extremely familiar to me. I had nearly forgotten that there was a good chance that I might see them here. I guess I had thought that they would be in their rooms. I turned back to them and smiled softly.

"Alex!" Iris yelled again.

"Iris! Florian!" I chirped happily.

She and Florian ran up to greet me and I laughed softly as they wrapped me into their arms. "I'm so glad to see you! What are you doing here?" Iris asked.

It was almost like we were back in Amity. That was the way that we had all acted together when we were in Amity together and hadn't seen each other for a few days. The thing about Amity was that working in the fields would keep you busy for days at a time. Amity wasn't like Dauntless where you partied with your friends at night, despite how hard you had been working during the day.

"Sad to see me?" I teased.

"It's not that we don't love you. It's good to see you again. But what are you doing in Candor?" Florian asked.

Iris shoved him gently and I smiled at the two of them. I was glad that after a few months together they still seemed to be doing well. "Business," I said flippantly.

"We heard a rumor that two of you were here today," Florian continued.

My eyes widened. How had that gotten around so fast? I supposed that news traveled around Candor faster than I had thought that it did. Or maybe we had already been here for longer than I had thought that we were. That meant that my hour was dwindling fast. I didn't want to get Four in trouble too. If I got in trouble that was one thing, but I was trying to keep Four out of trouble for as long as possible. I didn't want him to be put in danger. Jeanine could easily find out that he was one too.

"We're that important?" I asked.

"It's pretty rare to have two Dauntless members in Candor," Iris explained.

"I'm here with my trainer. Four. He had to go to a meeting with Jack Kang and I needed to pick something up," I said awkwardly.

"What do you need to pick up?" Iris asked.

I had to be careful. I didn't want anyone to know that I was close to them too. "Listen, I can't talk. I gotta go," I said quickly.

Turning on my heel, I went to leave the narrow hallway and continue my hunt for the compliance serum. "Alex!" Iris called.

She jumped after me and ran to catch my arm and pull me back. "Iris, come on, I gotta go," I said.

I could have easily pushed her off and continued to walk but Iris was my friend. I wasn't going to hurt her. "Wait a second. You just got here. We haven't seen you in months. Normally we're only going to be able to see each other once a year. We can talk for a while. Catch up," Iris said brightly.

My heart caved slightly at her words and I shook my head. I wished that I had more time with them. "I can't. I gotta go," I said.

"We'll come with you wherever you're going," she offered.

There was no way that they could come with me. I had already gotten Four involved in my stupid plan, there was no way that I was dragging Iris and Florian into this too. At least Four could defend himself from someone else. As much as I loved my two oldest friends, they were weak. They could never defend themselves.

"I - I can't hang out with you guys. I'm sorry," I told them.

The wavering in my voice made the smiles drop off of both of their faces as they stared at me suspiciously. "What?" Florian asked.

"It's serious, what I'm taking care of. I love you guys and I'm glad to see you again but I need to take care of this. I can't drag you both into it," I said, hoping that they wouldn't want to drag this conversation out.

I turned to leave again and this time it was Florian that came after me. "Alex!" he yelled, grabbing onto my wrist similarly to the way that Iris had.

His grip was stronger than hers but I knew that I would still be able to get out of it. I let him hang on to me. "Florian. Please let go," I said softly.

"You can't say something like that and then just leave us. What's going on? Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I said weakly.

They were Candor. They could see right through me and being my best friends only made it easier. "Come on, Alex, we're your best friends. We're family. Maybe we aren't together all of the time anymore but that doesn't mean that we don't love you. That's never going to mean that we don't love you. We're here for you. We always will be," Florian said.

It was like my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I shook my head at him and pried my arm away. His grip had loosened slightly and I sighed. It was nothing like the way that Eric or Four would grab me if they were trying to get me to stay and tell them something. They would have practically broken my wrists.

"I know. And I love you both for that. I really do. I'll always love the two of you for everything that you've done for me. But I can't drag you into this. It's too dangerous," I said.

Florian was staring at me with a scrutinizing glare and Iris looked extremely concerned. "What are you talking about?" Florian asked.

"It doesn't matter. I need to go. Tell no one that I was here. Alright? Don't let anyone know that you know me," I told them.

The last thing that anyone needed to know was that I was friends with Iris and Florian. It would only make things worse for them. I knew that Jeanine would hang them over my head the moment that she found out about them. She could never know that I had anyone here in Candor. She knew too much already.

"What did you do?" Iris asked.

I nearly laughed. She knew that I was always the one to get us in trouble back in Amity. "You always think that it's me," I teased.

I was not going to get them in trouble. They had started a new life away from me. "It usually is. Alex, you were always one to get yourself into trouble. But this is something more. This isn't just you being in trouble. This is something more. It sounds like you're talking about life or death. I don't like that. Not when it comes to you," Iris said.

She didn't understand it but she sounded a little bit like Eric at the moment. I grabbed Iris's hand and noticed that it was a little clammy. She was clearly nervous for me. I could only imagine what she would be like right now if she knew what I was planning to do tomorrow. She would be passed out on the ground.

"I love you. I love you both. I wish that we could talk more but I need to go," I told them.

"Absolutely not!" Iris shouted.

"Alex, get back here!" Florian added.

Before I could get too far I froze. There was something that I needed and it was important. "There actually is one more thing that I need from you both," I said as I turned back.

They both perked up and smiled at me, clearly happy that I wanted something from them. "What is it?" Florian asked.

"There is a serum control room here, isn't there?" I asked, hoping that they wouldn't question me too much.

Iris and Florian both turned to look at each other for a moment. It was like a weird couple thing that they were doing. Talking to each other without actually saying something. They both looked a little confused about what I had asked but I saw something else in the back of their eyes. Maybe it was suspicion. I wouldn't blame them. Not many people would have said something about the highly protected serum room.

"Yeah," Florian finally said. "There is one. Not many people are allowed back there. I mean, you need clearance to go back there."

My heart fell slightly. I couldn't get back there without the clearance and I couldn't tell anyone why I needed the vial. "You do?" I asked.

"Yes. I have a clearance card."

Or maybe not. I smiled brightly at Florian who was smiling back softly at me. I needed that clearance card right now. Florian had put my plan back in motion. I just needed that card. I knew that I would be able to easily take the card from him but the last thing that I wanted was to hurt him. He was my friend. I had changed enough the past few months. I had done things that I wasn't proud of. I didn't want to know that I was capable of hurting a friend too.

"I know this is going to sound strange but give me the card. I need it. I'll give it back when I'm done with it. I promise that I have a good reason for needing it," I told him softly.

He stared at me for a moment. I needed that card more than anything. I hoped that Florian would remember all of the times that I had done something for him back in Amity. There had been plenty of times that I had done something for Florian that had ended up getting me in trouble.

"I'm not giving it to you," Florian finally said.

A small scowl crossed my face. We were friends. I had gotten in trouble for him a million times. "What?" I asked irritably.

Why couldn't he do this one thing for me? "We could both get executed if they find out that I gave you my card," he said.

I sighed at him. He was right about that. "I know but it's important," I said desperately.

"I know, which is why I can take you down there. We make it fast. We're your best friends. We're here for you."

A small smile graced my face. Even though I would rather do this myself I knew that they weren't going to let me go alone on this one. "Whether or not you want the help from us, you're going to get it," Iris snarled.

"You almost sound Dauntless," I said.

She didn't smile. She wasn't happy with me. "I don't know what you did but I can see that you're in deep. And that's what scares me," Iris said.

I nearly laughed at her words. It scared me too. She had no idea how afraid I really was. "I can handle it," I said.

"That's what really scares me. You don't look scared. You look determined. I don't like that look. I don't like the thought of you going and doing something stupid. You might not hold your life at a high value, but I do. We do," she said, motioning to herself and Florian.

The thought almost made me smile. She was right. I didn't hold my life at high value. But I did hold theirs at high value. I held Eric's at high value. Four's. The rest of my friends. Everyone. But not mine and not Jeanine's. We were the two that were really in this fight and only one of us could win it. But that was going to stay between me and myself.

"And I hold yours at a high value, which is exactly why I can't tell you what's happening," I said.

"Please be careful," Iris begged.

"Always. And thank you. You can bring me down there to get the serum and that's it. You don't need to know why and you don't ask any questions. Trust me, it's safer that way," I told them.

"You can tell us when you need," Florian said.

It seemed to take a moment but they both finally nodded at me. I was sure that they wanted to say something else on the matter but they were smart and stayed silent. "I know. Thank you. Both of you. Let's go. I don't have much time," I told them.

Without giving me any warning that they had heard me, Iris and Florian turned and started to walk away. It took me a moment but I quickly followed. As I walked behind them I noticed that the pair were both wearing matching clothes. A white button down shirt with black slacks. They looked nice. But they were much duller than they had been in Amity. Of course, I supposed the same could be said for me. I now wore almost all black all the time.

Iris and Florian walked back into the staircase that I had just come out of and groaned. I had been wrong. We headed back into the stairwell and made our descent into the bottom of the sub-levels. As we walked I glanced up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was late. It was already well past ten o'clock. I was shocked that Jack Kang wanted to have a meeting this late. But it was better. Having the meeting so late was the only reason that I had been able to come here.

"So," Iris called.

I turned back to her. "What?" I asked.

There was an almost playful look in her eyes. It looked so different than the serious look she'd had a moment before. "The man that you're with," she continued.

"What about him?"

"Anything going on there?"

A guffawing laugh escaped my mouth and Iris turned to me with a curious glance. I couldn't help it. She didn't quite understand but it made so much sense that Iris would take any chance to gossip with me about girl things. I assumed that she spent most of her time with Florian in Candor. I hadn't heard them mentioning anything about other friends or something like that while I had been near them. But I did appreciate her effort.

It somehow managed to get my mind off of tomorrow. It was nice to think about something else, even if it was just for a few minutes. But I couldn't help the little blanch that fell over my face. There was no way that I would ever do anything like that with Four. That was disgusting. It would be close to incest for me to be with Four. We were like siblings.

"Should we talk about the two of you?" I asked, trying to distract them.

"Eventually. But it's your turn now," she said.

"No. Not Four," I said with a little laugh.

Even Florian looked a little intrigued now. "Four?" he asked.

"That's his name. He's like my brother. I love him to death but I could never do something with him without wanting to take a bath and boil my skin," I told them honestly.

To my surprise both Florian and Iris laughed. It wasn't just a soft laugh. It was a loud and barking laugh. It showed me that they were happy here. Happier than they had ever been in Amity. I had never heard either of them laugh like that before. And never with each other. They used to hate each other. But it made me glad to see them together. I loved that the two of them were happy together. I was glad that someone could be happy if I couldn't.

"Well what about someone else?" Iris implored.

"You're terrible. We're supposed to be on a serious mission right now," I told her.

"Whatever How go things with that guy that you hate? Eric, I think it was," Iris continued.

It was a little shock that Iris actually remembered Eric's name. It had been months since they had seen him and it had only been for a brief minute or two. "You remember his name?" I asked.

She smiled at me. "He's a little hard to forget," she said.

"He's an asshole," Florian snapped.

I couldn't help it that time. It wasn't just the shocked and horrified laugh that I had given her when she had mentioned Four, this was one of those ironic laughs. Mostly because she had called it with the two of us months ago. Both Iris and Florian were staring at me like I was insane. We walked out of the staircase and I headed down the hallway with them. There was only a few rooms down here and it was extremely cold. It felt like Erudite down here.

"There is someone else," I told them softly.

Both Iris and Florian stopped walking and I slammed into Florian's back. He tripped slightly as I helped steady him. "You're faster on your feet," Florian commented.

"Comes with Dauntless territory," I teased.

They both looked thrilled as they grinned widely at me. They clearly wanted to know. "So... Who is it?" Iris asked excitedly.

"You do remember Eric?" I asked them.

"Yeah."

"Of course."

"And do you remember when I insisted that we weren't sleeping together?" I asked.

"Duh," Iris said.

"Please no, Alex," Florian groaned.

Iris slapped him in the stomach as I grinned. "It was the truth at the time. We're sleeping together now. We are together," I told them bluntly.

The moment that I said it I wished that I could have taken it back. There were probably better ways that I could have gone about it. Iris squealed loudly and I laughed as she launched herself into my arms. We stumbled back and I tightened my arms around her. It was similar to the way that Heather had taken the news. Although Heather actually knew Eric. Iris had only briefly met Eric. Florian's head dropped back as he groaned and I laughed softly at him. He wasn't a fan of Eric. He thought that he was a dick. I wondered what he would think if he knew that Eric was jealous of Florian because of a picture of the two of us kissing.

"I knew that something was going on between the two of you!" Iris shouted.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I groaned.

Tell me everything. Tell me what he's like. Tell us how it happened," she squealed.

There were some Amity traits that were hard to kick. One of them was loving to gossip. Iris had always been the bigger gossip, but I had enjoyed the occasional girl talk from time to time. "No!" Florian shouted.

Both Iris and I laughed. She shoved her boyfriend and I grinned at them softly. "You fon't want to hear about it?" I asked Florian teasingly.

"Do not tell us how anything happened. I don't want to hear about how the two of you got together. I don't want to hear about how you two spend your private time together. I'm not interested in anything like that," Florian continued.

I couldn't help but to wonder for a moment if it was because I had once been the person that Florian had come to at night. It almost made me shiver in disgust when I thought about it now. I wanted to know what would happen if I could get Florian and Eric alone in a room together. I was honestly curious what made the two men hate each other so much.

"Come on, Alex, seriously?" Florian asked.

"What?" I said, surprised.

"That asshole?"

Honestly I was a little surprised at his language. It didn't seem that Candor were much for profanity and I knew that Amity never cursed. It seemed like a mostly Dauntless trait. Although I did hear it from Candor and on rare occasions, Erudite. It simply wasn't something that I ever heard from Amity or Abnegation members.

"Yes, that asshole. I happen to like that asshole," I snapped.

Iris smirked and Florian flushed slightly. "Tell us about him," Iris goaded.

"Eric is a better man than he makes himself out to be. I promise. We've been good together. I'm happy being with him. I hope that one day you guys get the chance to meet him and actually get to know him. You'd like him," I said.

Iris smiled but one look from Florian made me wonder if I had just said that to try and placate him. "You so sure about that?" Florian asked.

"Actually, maybe you wouldn't," I laughed.

Florian nodded with an arrogant glare and I smirked at him. He hated Eric and always would. I wasn't sure whether or not I blamed him. He certainly wasn't the type of person to put on the charm at first meeting. Hell, he had called me pathetic and told me that he was going to throw me from the roof the first time that I had actually met him.

"Florian is just jealous," Iris teased.

"I am not!" Florian shouted.

The indignant scoff from Florian was louder than I had been expecting. "He doesn't think that anyone will ever be good enough," Iris continued.

"Someone will be. Just not him," Florian interrupted.

"Just so you know, I don't either," Iris continued.

I gave a soft laugh and smiled at the both of them. At her words, Florian brightened slightly. "If Eric makes you happy then that's all that matters to me. To us," she said with a soft nudge in Florian's side.

He merely grunted. "Yeah. Whatever. We're happy for you," he muttered.

"One day I would like to meet him. Actually meet him. When he's not trying to intimidate us," Iris said.

That was something that I would have liked that too. But I was pretty sure that no one would ever meet Eric without him trying to intimidate him. He was the type of person that always wanted to be the alpha male in the room. Plus there was the issue that we would likely never see each other again as Jeanine would be sure to end my friendship with Iris and Florian and my relationship with Eric.

"I don't think that you're ever going to see that. He likes to intimidate people," I told them honestly.

Iris smiled softly but Florian looked irritated as hell. "We can tell," Florian groaned.

It made me laugh softly and shook my head as we stopped in front of a door that was right around the bend in the hall. There was no label on the door but the window was blacked out and there was a restricted sign hanging across the front. I watched as Florian reached into his back pocket and pulled out a single card. It was black and looked a little metal. He held it up to the scanner and looked to me for confirmation. I took a deep breath.

"This is it?" I asked.

"This is it."

"Do it. I need to get in there. It's important," I said softly.

He nodded and I noticed that Iris took a step closer to me as he brought the strip on the back of the card down over the scanner. It took a moment before making a shrill beeping noise. I jumped slightly and noticed that both Iris and Florian smirked at me. It had been slightly louder than I was anticipating. The lights on the door changed from red to green before the door slid open and the three of us made our way inside.

Inside was a rather large, but dull, room. There were rows upon rows of vials being made in every corner of the room. It made my stomach twist itself into knots. It seemed that at least half of the room was dedicated to the unacceptable batch and that made me sigh with relief. I supposed that was a good thing. I walked over to the area that was sectioned off for the acceptable batches and shook my head. They were barely there.

It looked like there were only about twenty or thirty vials. There must have been hundreds in the unacceptable pile. I walked over to the few rows of the acceptable pile and looked over them. They were all bright blue and in small vials, each one clearly only meant for one person. My fingers trailed over one of the vials and just before I grabbed it, Florian's voice stopped me.

"Just so you know these vials are still in the test phases," he said.

"I know," I said, turning back to the vials.

Florian walked up to my side but Iris stayed in the background. I assumed that she wasn't down here often. "They don't always work. Not even in the acceptable stages. It just means that the mix is appropriate," he said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"So it's just a guessing game for which one works?" I asked.

I was always terrible at guessing. "Unfortunately. I'm sorry but I can't let you take more than one. Someone will notice if more than one is gone," he continued.

That was an even smaller chance of me being right. "That's fine," I said, even thought it really wasn't.

"Alex, keep in mind that they don't work for that long. They're still in the test phases. It won't work long. Maybe ten minutes, maximum," Florian warned.

How was Jeanine ever going to get these vials to the way that she wanted them? They weren't guaranteed to work, most didn't work, and the ones that did didn't last more than ten minutes. It made me confident that it would at least be years before they were ready for mass production. At least ten minutes was all that I needed.

"Ten minutes is all that I need," I finally responded.

It was the truth. "That's all that you needed?" Florian asked.

I smiled at my friends before pulling them into a hug. They both laughed as I let them go. "Thank you, both of you. For this. For everything. I know that you risked a lot bringing me down here," I told them.

"Of course," Florian said.

"Anything to help," Iris added.

They really were my best friends even though we didn't see each other as much as we used to. I wished that we did. I turned around and looked back down at the vials. I grabbed one out of the far corner and tucked it into my back pocket. Here's hoping it was the one that worked. It was the only way that my plan would work.

"I have to leave," I said.

"Already?" Florian asked.

"Four is getting ready to go and I need to go back with him. I love you both," I told them honestly.

Florian ushered us out of the room and the door made a low droning noise as it closed again. I heard the bolts lock behind us and I walked quickly with my friends back towards the staircase. I had what I needed and now I needed to get out of here as fast as possible. This was a big risk, me carrying around the vial.

"We love you too. We always will. Alex, you come to us any time that you need something. You understand us?" Florian asked.

"Of course," I said happily.

"No matter how bad it is just come back to us. We'll be here for you. No matter what it is. We're your best friends. We're your family. We love you," he said.

Had I not been expecting him to say something like that my eyes would have watered. Even though I had been expecting it my lip did give a soft quiver. "I know. I love you both too," I said softly.

"We only want to help," Iris said.

I grinned softly at her before walking to the doorway that would lead us back into the main lobby. "Trust me when I say that you've both done more than you can imagine," I said.

"I just want to make sure that you're safe. I know that you're a big Dauntless bad-ass now but that doesn't mean that you're safe from everything," Iris said.

I laughed loudly and shook my head. "Trust me when I say that I know that," I teased.

She had no idea how true that was. "You don't have to fight alone, Alex. You aren't alone. You never will be," she said softly.

I gave them one last smile and fought back the tears that were rimming in my eyes. "I know," I whispered.

They would never know just how much their words meant to me. I wished that I could tell them what was happening, but I knew that I couldn't. Their safety was number one. So I gave them a soft thanks and wrapped them both into tight hugs. Iris was shaking slightly when I grabbed her and Florian held me tighter than I was sure that he ever had. I was glad that I hadn't just been in a fight recently because his grip was crushing.

As they let go of me I leaned in and gave each of them a kiss on the cheek before allowing them to walk out of the stairwell. We all knew that I couldn't be seen with them. I waited a good two minutes before heading up and walking out of the stairwell after them. No one would ever know that we were friends. It was a secret that we were going to have to keep. As I walked into the lobby I saw that Four was already waiting for me.

Apparently we had perfect timing. He gave me a sharp nod and I nodded back to him as we both turned and walked out of the Merciless Mart together. No one said a word to us and most of the Candor residents ignored us as we headed straight for the train. One was speeding by us at the moment and Four ushered me on first. Now I realized why we only had an hour. The trains were always on time. They didn't wait for people. I walked into the train and stepped away from the doors. Four followed me in a second later. He walked us both over to take a seat on the back wall.

"How did it go?" Four finally asked.

Not bothering to say anything to him I reached into my pocket and slipped out the vial. It was tiny. It seemed like it wasn't even enough for one person. The blue liquid that was shining inside seemed like the only hope that we had. Four was looking at is closely and I could see that he sucked in a breath. He probably didn't think that our stupid little plan today was actually going to work. He gently took it from me to look.

"I got it," I told him rather unnecessarily.

Four turned a glare on me. "So I see," he said blankly.

"Took me a little bit but I got it. I could only take one. I can just pray that it's going to work. Keep it with you for now. It's safer than me having to hold onto it," I said.

It was the truth. I was sure that the serum was safer with Four than it was with me. There was a chance that my friends could see it, or even worse, there was a chance that Eric could see it. That would be the worst. He couldn't know anything more about my truth. Four nodded and grabbed the vial before tucking it into a deep pocket on the side of his pants.

"So are you going to tell me why exactly you needed to get that serum?" Four asked.

I glanced over at him, somewhat surprised. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"You've had this plan in the works for weeks now and you haven't said anything to me about it. I need to know. We're going to be in Erudite in sixteen hours. We don't have much more time to plan. You need to tell me and I need to know. We're in this together," he said.

A deep breath left my mouth and I shook my head. He was right, I had barely told him anything. It had mostly been so that I could protect him. But now I knew that he had to know. It wasn't fair that I hadn't been telling him the truth. It wasn't fair of me to try to protect him by essentially freezing him out.

"You're right. We are in this together. Just let me get all the way through the plan and I want you to say nothing, alright?" I asked.

I knew that he was going to try to interrupt me and tell me that it was a terrible plan. That was just the way that he was. "Okay," Four finally conceded.

"I know that it's not the best plan but I need for you to listen to me," I repeated.

Four stared at me for a good long moment before nodding at me to continue. "Alright, fine. Just tell me," he said.

For a long time I sat there, simply staring at Four. My entire plan was a really bad idea and I knew that, and I knew that telling Four would only make things worse. The plan was probably going to sound about ten times worse once I actually spit it out. So I took a deep breath before I could try to change my plan again - as I had changed the plan at least ten times already - and I launched into my idea.

It turned out that it was a really bad idea. I knew that each time I added another step into the plan there were just more holes forming. I could see that Four knew it as well. Each time I had to skip over a little piece of the puzzle I could tell that Four was starting to believe in the plan even less. He did seem to be fond of the idea of a sneak attack. It seemed to me that he didn't think that any other part of my plan would work. Maybe it wouldn't. I wasn't quite sure. But I was willing to try.

Rattling off the last few details of my plan I closed my mouth and looked over at Four again. It was like I was watching the gears grind together in his head. He was processing my story and he didn't seem the least bit fond of the idea. He took a few minutes but finally he shook his head and I hung my head back. I knew that he wasn't going to like this plan. Damn him.

"Alex, we can't do that," Four said.

"I knew you'd say that."

"That plan is suicide. For me and you," he tried to reason.

He was right. Every fiber of my being was arguing with me that he was right and I needed to recognize that. "I know," I said.

"So lets come up with another plan," Four argued.

"We don't have time!" I shouted.

"Well we aren't going to go where either one of us could die!" he shouted back.

The two of us sat in silence before I leaned over and grabbed his hand. "I've tried to think of any other thing that we can do. I've taken weeks to think about any plans that we could possibly make. I've tried to think of something else. I can't. I can't figure out anything else to do. There is no other way," I told him truthfully.

"There has to be another way."

"There isn't. You know it and so do I," I said softly.

Four sighed under his breath. There was no other way to do this. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I"m sure. So I'm telling you that with or without you, I'm doing this," I announced proudly.

Four sat still for a moment before moving towards me slightly. He grabbed my hands. They were just as clammy as my own. "I know," he said softly.

For a while I waited for him to say something else but when he said nothing I shifted uncomfortably. That wasn't really the answer that I wanted. Did that mean that he wasn't going to go with me? Was he really going to leave me out there on my own? I had to say that the thought hurt me a little bit.

"That's why I'm going with you," he told me darkly.

"Thank you."

It didn't seem like it was enough. Even if I had been able to think up something else to say back to him I wouldn't have. So I smiled and leaned into his shoulder. Four was grinning above me and he caught his arm around my shoulder. I closed my eyes and leaned my nose into his shoulder. It did make me feel a little bit better that he was at least here with me. If nothing else, at least I wasn't in this thing alone. But I still wanted to cry. For the first time in a long time I actually wanted to be able to cry. I wanted to run away and pretend that this wasn't happening.

But I knew that it wasn't an option. I had to get off of my ass and do something. For the good of everyone else I had to do something to stop the war. I had lost any option to do anything else. A few minutes after closing my eyes I heard the train arrive at the Dauntless compound and allowed Four to help the both of us off of the train.

We landed together in a weak crouch and I smiled. That hadn't gone nearly as well as I had thought that it would. But it was slightly funny. He grabbed me by the arm and led me into the main area of the compound, kicking some of the rocks around his feet. We walked through the halls for a moment before Four stuck his arm out to stop me. I looked over at him and smiled softly. It looked like he wanted to hug me and never let go.

"You shouldn't go back there. Not tonight. Not when tomorrow..." Four said slowly.

I knew what he meant. He didn't have to finish. "I know," I said softly.

"Spend the night with Eric tonight, just in case," Four added, almost regrettably.

It surprised me that he had said something like that. I took a moment just to stare at him. He was right. I didn't know whether or not something was going to happen tomorrow. I didn't know and he didn't know. He was right. I should spend this last night with him. Just in case something was going to happen tomorrow. For one last night I wanted to be with him.

"Thanks Four, you're right. I'm going to go to him. I'll see you during the fear landscape tomorrow," I said, trying to keep the wavering out of my voice.

He didn't need to know how I was feeling right now. He didn't need to know that it felt like I was already dead. I didn't want him to know that. The two of us joined hands and I smiled, pressing a small kiss to Four's cheek. I went to turn on my heels but before I could, Four spoke up again.

"You probably won't take this to heart but hear me out anyways," Four said.

I turned to him and gave him a little nod. "What?" I asked.

He might have been wrong. I wanted to hear what he was going to say. He was like a brother to me. His opinion and advice meant everything to me. As much as I wanted to pretend that we would be back here in the morning with nothing being any different, I knew that it wasn't the case.

"Tomorrow is a long and important day. Try to get some rest. Even with everything happening you still have appearances to keep up. And if you don't stay in the number one spot you don't have to worry about Jeanine. You'll have to worry about me coming after you," he teased.

A short bark escaped my lips as I laughed and moved in to grab Four in for a hug. We stayed together for a moment before he planted a small kiss on the top of my head. I gave him one last smile before departing from him and laughing softly as I walked down the hallway. He was a wonderful man. I hoped that after tomorrow he would get a chance to live out the rest of the life. We both deserved to get to live out full lives.

We both went our separate ways at the fork in the hallway and I headed off to Eric's apartment for the night. For maybe the last night. I wasn't quite sure whether or not Eric was expecting me but I was pretty sure that I didn't care. I just wanted to see him one last time. I wanted to have faith that we were good together for one last time.

Walking through the hall I found myself quickly at the door for Eric's apartment. It was already well after eleven but Eric was a night owl. He was probably still awake. He normally didn't go to bed until after midnight anyways. I gave a soft knock on the door before walking through. As expected, Eric was still awake.

He was perched on the counter and thumbing across his tablet. He seemed to be bored with whatever it was that he was doing. He glanced up from the tablet and stared at me as I walked in. He dropped it and it made a small clattering noise on the counter. Swaying my hips slightly, I walked forward happily as he grinned darkly at me. I saw that behind him the picture of me in the red dress was hung now hung up on the refrigerator by a magnet and I smiled softly. He walked up to me and I laughed as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Honey, I'm home," I sang to him.

I had heard the line in some old show that I had put on once when Eric was asleep and I couldn't get to bed. It had been a cute show and I was glad that I'd watched it. Although when Eric had woken up he had nearly smashed the tape when he saw it. Apparently he had always hated that show. He had made it painfully clear to me once he had gotten me to shut it off.

"Shut up," Eric snarled.

I smiled and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. "Just kidding," I said softly.

"What are you doing here?" Eric asked.

"Well I thought that I was coming to visit you," I teased.

He grinned down at me. "I thought that you left with your friends for the night?" he asked.

For a moment I felt like a moron. He had thought that I'd left with them, not Four. It was a good thing that he had been so distracted by work when I had left. I could only imagine how the conversation would be going right about now. So I smiled and decided to tell him something nicer than the truth. I didn't want to lie to him but I had to. For one last night. He grabbed me around the waist and I laughed as he placed me on the counter.

"Well I figured that tonight was the last night that our relationship isn't allowed in Dauntless. After that I'm no longer your initiate and our relationship is no longer against the rules. I figured we could have one last night of debauchery," I teased.

My leg was slowly making its way up his thigh and I felt him tense slightly underneath me. He merely grabbed my leg and forced it back down onto my side. "There's the Erudite coming out to play," he teased.

In the meantime a hand wound its way up the back of my spine and into my hair. I laughed heartily and pulled him into me, smashing my lips against his. Ever since I had told him what I was he had made little remarks like that. He seemed to enjoy teasing me about it. He had done it enough times. Of course it was only because he thought that I was safe from Jeanine. Things would change once he knew that I was still lying to him. I supposed that was just who I was; a liar.

"Come on, I'm not that dumb," I told him proudly.

I was smarter than he gave me credit for. He was still smarter than me but I was also smarter than he thought that I was. "Never said that," Eric said lowly.

But I knew that he still thought that he was smarter and I was stupid. "Even if I hadn't gotten Erudite I still know some big words. Probably more than you," I told him.

Eric merely scoffed at me. We both knew that that was a lie. "Is that so?" he asked.

"In fact, I know lots of big things," I said, making sure to give him a pointed look.

Eric smirked at me. "Yeah?" he asked darkly.

I smiled and nodded at him. "Yeah."

"Like your fat head," he said, whacking me over the back of the head.

It was slightly harder than I'd been expecting. I laughed loudly and shoved back against him. I hated the feeling that was stirring in my gut as Eric caught my lips in a kiss once more. I cared about him. More than I had ever cared about anyone else. Who knew? Maybe there was even a possibility that I loved him. But I couldn't tell him that. I could never tell him that. It would scare him off. And I still didn't know if I really did love him or if it was just an infatuation. It didn't matter either way.

He grabbed me under the thighs and pulled me over to the couch. As he swung me around my head spun slightly, almost making me feel like I was drunk. He pushed me back against the couch and I laughed, falling over him and landing awkwardly in his lap. He was used to my awkward landings as he wound his hair and I groaned, moving as close as possible to his body. I could feel every contour in between the two of us and I wanted nothing more than to have every bit separating us gone. For one last time.

"You know what I was thinking about?" I asked as I pulled away from him. He hummed at me, his lips pressed gently against my mouth. "I'm going to finish in the number one spot."

He pulled away that time to give me a blank stare. I merely grinned at him and laughed softly. "There's that big head again," he teased.

I laughed and thumped my finger across his head. He really did drive me nuts. But I would never want it any other way. He nudged me back and I laughed against his shoulder for a moment, shoving his face away from me. He was such an ass. But it was just the way that I liked him. I would never like him any other way.

"Shut up. They say that it's an Erudite trait. And Dauntless," I said, giving him a pointed look.

"Whatever," he growled.

Be damned what the test told him, I knew that Eric was both Erudite and Dauntless. Just like I knew that Heather was part Candor and part Dauntless. No one could just be one thing all of the time. It didn't work that way. No matter what Jeanine and the rest of Chicago thought.

"That means that I'm going to finish higher in ranking than you did," I said, grinning proudly.

He merely glared at me. The glare dropped off of his face and he leaned into me with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "Is that so?" Eric asked.

"That's so," I said.

"We can try a fight and see who wins," he said.

I knew that it was a challenge that he knew he would win. I still laughed as Eric knocked into my chest and sent me off balance. I hit the back of the couch and smirked as he leaned over me. His hands tangled in my hair as he rested himself in between my legs. His mouth traveled from the skin that was revealed on my chest all the way over my neck and up to my lips. I groaned softly into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him as close as possible to me.

It was nights like this that I was going to miss deeply. I wished more than anything that I could tell him the truth but I also knew that it had gotten to the point where no one could help me. The only help that I had was from Four. I refused to drag anyone else into this. I had to do this on my own. Four was just the added bonus that I got.

I leaned back against the couch a little more so that I was lying flat on my back. My hands traveled down Eric's torso and I wrapped them around the edges of his shirt. I grabbed it tightly and bunched it up, grabbing it and dragging it over his shoulders. I didn't know if I was ever going to get the chance to do this again so I was going to make sure that my night was well worth it. I grabbed Eric under the shoulders and rolled him off of the couch, our limbs tangling and knotting together.

We both laughed as we fell over the edge of the bed, each of us smiling at the other. Eric leaned into me and kissed me hard on the mouth, his knee hitching underneath mine, effectively trapping me. I laughed against his mouth as I drug my hands over his bare chest. Each muscle gave a small twitch as I ran my nails over them and I grinned. Nothing made me happier than seeing what I could do to him. Eric grabbed my lip in between his teeth and I smiled. It was one of the little possessive habits that he had.

His tongue slipped into my mouth once he let my lip go. It ran gently over mine and I smiled at him. His mouth always felt good as I dipped my tongue back and forth in his mouth. He had a slightly minty taste to him and I knew that he had just brushed his teeth. It reminded me of all of the little things that I knew about him. The strange things that shouldn't have meant anything to the average person, but meant the world to me. He hated having bad breath, his toothpaste always had to be directly next to his toothbrush, and his toothbrush could never be left out.

They were just little things, but I loved knowing them. Underneath the taste of toothpaste I could taste the barbecue from tonight. Funny. I hadn't even thought that he liked barbecue. There were so many things that I didn't know about him. There were so many things that I wanted to ask him. But I didn't have the time. I just had to think of all of the things that I did know about him.

Laughing softly as Eric reached for me, I leaned up slightly so that Eric could pull my shirt over my head. The shirt caught on my shoulders and I chuckled as Eric practically tore it off of me. He was not a patient man. He never had been. But there was something about his impatience that I liked. There was something about the way that his actions were all carnal that I loved to see. He was a good man, and a man that I could have seen myself with for a long time.

But that wasn't the way that it would go. It wasn't long before my pants came off as well. Eric grabbed the bottoms roughly, yanking the button open. He practically dragged me across the floor as he grabbed at the tight bottoms. Maybe I should have worn something a little looser. It didn't take Eric too long to rip them off and toss them over the back of the couch, out of sight.

Eric grabbed me under the thighs and I gripped onto his back tightly as he lifted me up and walked me over to his bed. The sheets were already messed up, seeing as he probably hadn't remade it this morning. He was smart enough to know that we would just mess them up again. Eric's hands wound into my hair and I smiled as he tugged the strands back, pulling our mouths together. Eric was kind of stumbling around, unable to see.

For whatever reason, I trusted that he wouldn't drop or hurt me. Eric finally dropped me onto the bed and I laughed as Eric took no time to rip his pants off. They were discarded at the foot of the bed before I leaned over and reached to rip his underwear off. He looked surprised at the sudden action but he said nothing against it. He simply let me.

It was all because we were about to spend our last night together. Not that he knew that. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I pushed him back against the bed before leaning over and grabbing his underwear, ripping them the rest of the way off. Eric grinned at me as I dropped down and grinned at him. He laughed slightly as I leaned over and kissed his head. He groaned and his head fell back against the bed.

My tongue flicked out of my mouth, flicking against his head a few times. Once more he let out a little groan as his fingers wrapped around my hair, dragging my mouth over him. I opened my mouth and let my lips run over his length a few times, my tongue slicking the back of his hard length. Eric groaned deep in his throat as my hands came up to dig my nails gently into his thighs. I was sure that at any minute he was going to explode by the way he was writhing on the bed. He always had liked when I did this for him.

It helped that I'd always loved having him in my control. It wasn't very often that he allowed me to take control, but if it meant that he could get some pleasure out of it, I knew that he would allow it. My tongue was swirling over his length as I ran my mouth over him again and again. He was making all sorts of sounds that sent chills down my spine and into my core.

Before I could finish him off, Eric grabbed my hair roughly and yanked me away from him. I let out a tiny grunt of pain but allowed myself to lift up from him. Eric didn't let me stay on my knees for long. Before I knew it he had barrelled at me and knocked me back into the bed. I laughed under my breath as Eric grabbed my bra and snapped the hook, popping it off of me. It wasn't half a second later that my underwear had followed. Both garments were tossed across the room, presumably to never be seen again.

In the meantime Eric threw me back against the bed and spread my legs wide enough so that he could fit in between them. I groaned and threw my head back as he thrust into me roughly. He was certainly wasting no time tonight. I assumed that he wanted to have as good of a go as he could tonight. I was already dripping and it meant that he could slide in with ease. Eric's forehead dropped against my shoulder as I breathed out raggedly.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss against my lips that I responded to, nipping softly against his lips. He pulled back out only to slam into me again. My chest was bouncing almost painfully up and down as he rocked into me, each thrust harder than the last. As we moved together a bead of sweat from Eric's forehead dripped onto my shoulder. My legs wrapped around his waist tightly as a bundle of nerves began to tighten in my lower stomach.

His thrusts became more desperate as he came closer to his end and my legs began to quiver as my end neared. It wouldn't be long before I couldn't stand it anymore. Eric's hands went down to my waist and I hissed as he tightened them so much to the point that I almost thought that he would break my hipbones.

Another two thrusts and I was sent over the edge, my legs shaking so pathetically that I knew that I would never be able to stand. At least not for a good while. My head fell back and loud, nonsensical, moans escaped my mouth. Eric followed with his own release a few thrusts afterwards, his warmth feeling oddly comforting. His rode out his high with a few more thrusts and I moaned at the sensitive bundle of nerves in my lower regions. As Eric finally came to his finish and pulled out of me I gave a sharp yelp.

He let me rest against him for a while before once more he leaned over me, beginning the process all over again. He was taking my one last night seriously. He wasn't going to let me get a wink of sleep. We ended up all over his apartment, each time more than once. As I had tried to brush out my hair before going to bed - at least, I'd thought that I was going to bed - Eric had bent me over the sink, probably enjoying watching the faces that I was making in the mirror.

That hadn't even been close to the end of our night. As I had tried to walk back to the bed Eric had pinned me up against the apartment door. I had been somewhere in between mortified and turned on when a group of people had walked past, obviously hearing what Eric and I were doing. It didn't help that they knew that it was Eric's apartment. I had almost asked Eric to move away from the door but what he had muttered in my ear had completely distracted me from any desire other than to finish.

We had even moved over to the bar that was attached to the kitchen. Eric threw me on top of the bar and pushed us backwards. I was sure that I had never been so grateful for it. The two of us had even taken a few shots from the bottle of liquor that he'd had sitting on the edge of the counter. It only made things more fun - and definitely a little hazier.

At different points throughout the night we'd even ended up with me on the table, the two of us leaning over each other in the chair, on the floor of his bedroom, one of the bar stools and back on the balcony. I was reasonably certain that a few Factionless men got more of a show than they were asking for. By the end of the night I was sure that my legs would never stop shaking.

It wasn't until well after three in the morning, after our fifth go-round that Eric pushed himself deep into me and released himself. I was bent over the bed again and heaving heavily from the exhaustion. If I could have gone another round I was sure that I would have. But I knew that I couldn't and I actually did need to get some sleep before the final test tomorrow. Eric grabbed me and tossed me up onto the bed, surprising me slightly.

He laughed at my shocked face before falling back onto the bed and grabbing me, pulling me with him. It amazed me how much he could be rough and tough one second and then be almost romantic the next. It was a good thing that he had pulled me up, considering that I could hardly move. I wasn't sure that I had ever had a night like that, but I was glad that I had actually experienced it. It was almost funny that the night that it finally happened would be my last.

As I drew patterns against Eric's chest I glanced up at him. "Eric -" I muttered softly, not really sure what I wanted to say.

I just wanted to say something before tomorrow came. I wanted him to know that I cared for him before I betrayed his trust once more. Part of me wanted to tell him the entire truth for what was going to happen to me tomorrow - I knew that it would be good to tell him the truth beforehand - but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Go to bed," Eric said softly.

I laughed at him and shook my head. "Goodnight," I said softly.

That was Eric for you. He leaned in to kiss me again and I let him. He grabbed me around my waist before throwing me over his torso, onto the other side of the bed. I laughed softly and rolled my eyes as Eric threw the sheets back over us. He grabbed me tightly and I smiled, leaning my head into his shoulder. He gave me another kiss on the lips. It was searing for a while before he finally released me. Once he let me go I turned away from Eric, pressing my back against his shoulder. He kept flat on his back as his fingers twisted through my hair, continuing until I was about to pass out. He wouldn't fall asleep until I did first.

The morning came after a long night spent with Eric and I groaned, covering my eyes with my forearm. Our last comment about having one last night of debauchery hadn't gone unnoticed by Eric. He had made sure that we enjoyed our final night together. I hadn't really gotten any sleep last night. Not that I was completely shocked by that. Eric hadn't let me get any sleep and I wasn't completely sure that I had wanted to get any sleep anyways. I wasn't sure that I could get any sleep.

Not when I kept thinking about what was going to happen today. I was relatively certain that we hadn't fallen asleep until well past three in the morning. Not that I minded. Although it did make for some soreness in awkward places now. Slowly I sat up in the bed and let the sheets pool around my bare waist. My eyes felt like they were glued shut and I rubbed over them a few times, hoping that the feeling would go away by the time I got to the fear landscape.

I glanced over into the kitchen and saw that Eric was already in there, apparently making breakfast. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and I smiled at him. Leaning over to the edge of the bed I grabbed his shirt and pulled it on over my head before standing from the bed and heading over to him. He was making eggs and coffee and I grinned; it was the only breakfast that I liked. I leaned over him and pressed a kiss against his bare back.

"Last day of training it today. It felt like today was never going to come," I muttered into his back.

He tensed up slightly at my words but it seemed that he relaxed quickly. "No, it always feels like it takes forever. It never seems like it ever ends," he said.

I couldn't help but feel like there was another meaning to the words that he was saying. "Did your initiation feel like it took forever?" I asked.

"In some ways."

"Has mine?"

"Yes."

He turned back long enough to give me a pointed look. "Why's that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

And Eric knew that I knew the answer too. "You know why," he snapped.

"Thanks for breakfast," I said softly, knowing that there was something else going on - something that involved me that he didn't want to talk about. And I didn't want to push him.

"You're welcome. Training is finally over and you're still set to be in the number one spot," he said, changing the subject again.

Eric finally turned around and I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me. They went over my shoulders and I smiled as his lips met mine in a rough kiss. Whatever had been bothering him a moment before had passed. I wanted to ask him what it was, but I knew that he wasn't an open man. He would tell me if he felt the need. The kiss lasted for a few minutes before he pulled away from me. I smiled as he turned back to the eggs and began to prod at them.

"Are you ready for it?" he asked.

"No," I told him.

The answer came faster than I had meant for it to and I nearly laughed. Eric looked a little surprised but I shrugged my shoulders softly. He didn't realize that I had meant it in more way than one. I meant it for everything that was going to happen tonight. But I did mean it for the end of the initiation period too. I really wasn't ready for anything.

"I'm not too worried about it. I can handle it."

"So what's making you nervous?" Eric asked.

 _The fact that you're about to find out just how deep my lie runs_. "It's just strange to think that the end of initiation is here. I'm not going to be a dependent or initiate anymore. I'll be a full Dauntless member," I said softly.

It didn't have the ring to it that it had once had. I took a few steps backwards and leaned against the opposite counter. "It'll be fine," Eric muttered as he began to scoop the eggs out of the pan.

"I know," I said softly.

"You get out of this one and you never have to do it again," he said.

I nodded at him. Eric pushed some eggs onto the plate and poured a cup of coffee for me before doing it for himself. He handed me the plate and cup myself and I thanked him softly, eating the eggs quickly. I wanted to be down to training early so that I would be able to get ready. I wouldn't have much time once they started, considering that I was going first. They had already told me that much.

"Don't think that this means that I'm going to stop calling you Amity," Eric said as I shoveled the eggs into my mouth.

Nearly spitting the eggs out onto the plate I coughed and gulped down a few chugs of the coffee. He was staring at me in confusion and I smiled back at him. Nothing would have felt right if he were to stop calling me Amity. I was pretty sure that I would think that he was angry with me. As much as I hated to admit it I had become very fond of the nickname. It was better than initiate and Softie. And Amity was pretty much solely reserved for Eric these days.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I teased.

"Good. Because I'm not stopping."

"Good," I shot back.

All of that was despite the fact that I was going to be at the top of the leader-board and was clearly no longer an Amity member. But that didn't mean that Eric would ever respect me enough to call me a real Dauntless member. We both sat together in silence and ate our breakfasts. We both liked eating in silence. It was one of the few times of the day that we could enjoy the company of another person and not have to worry about speaking to them.

Whenever I was with my friends it seemed like I was forced to eat with them. Eric ate quickly and I smiled when I realized that he was watching me eat. He seemed to watch me a lot. It was almost like he was waiting for something odd to happen. I finished my meal in silence before leaning over to Eric and giving him a kiss. He responded to the kiss before I jumped into his lap, grabbing at the knot in his towel and attempting to undo it.

"What are you doing?" Eric asked as he broke the kiss.

Honestly I wasn't really sure what I was doing. I just knew that I wanted one more night with him. I just knew that after tonight things were going to change. And I wasn't ready to face that yet. I just wanted this one last moment. I wanted to enjoy the last moment that I had with him. I wanted to enjoy this last real moment of privacy that I might ever have with him.

"We have time. Come on, I have time," I told him as I glanced up at the clock.

"Do you?" Eric asked.

"I don't have to be ready for another thirty minutes," I purred.

It was a blatant lie. And if he looked at the clock he would know that it wasn't the truth either. There was only another ten minutes before I had to be down at training. Eric was smarter than me and he had better self-control than I thought that he did. He looked over at the clock and half-smiled and half-scowled at me.

"You need to be down there in ten minutes," he said.

"The one time you don't want morning -"

"I _always_ do, just so you know," Eric interrupted.

I merely gave him a little smile and shook my head. That was technically true. We were supposed to be early to the final test, and even though I really did have thirty minutes, I was supposed to be down there in ten minutes. I merely shrugged my shoulders and went back to undoing the knot at his stomach. He easily caught my hands again.

A frown marred my face as I stared sideways at him. I had thought that he wanted to have a morning go with me. I thought that it was one of his favorite things. He was always trying to have a morning with me. He had just said that he wanted a morning with me. It was why I had been late to training a few times. It was also why Four always seemed to scowl at me when I said that I was staying with Eric.

"What? Are you saying no to a morning with me?" I asked, feeling a little prissy.

Just as I had been thinking, as just as he had said, that wasn't what Eric had meant. He did want a morning rendezvous with me, but we really didn't have time. I knew that he wasn't going to let me think that he wasn't interested in me anymore. He merely brushed some hair back off of my face and held my hip tightly.

"One last day that you actually need to be on time. You're tempting, Amity, but I get raked over the coals when the initiates are late. Even though that's supposed to be Four's damn job," he muttered.

I laughed under my breath and shook my head. I had never realized just how much shit Eric got when Four's job didn't quite work out. "Just tempting, am I?" I asked.

"You have no idea," Eric said.

"Nothing more than that?"

"You don't need to get your head any more inflated," Eric growled.

"Sure I do."

"Go before I decide to keep you here," he said.

His fingers were hooking over the edge of the shirt that I was wearing. Part of me had been hoping that he would pull it off of me but his control was a little more impressive than that. He knew how to use it when he actually wanted to. Eric merely tightened his grip on the shirt as much as he could so that he wouldn't tear the material.

"Careful what you wish for. I might just like that," I teased.

Eric smirked at me as I stripped off his shirt and jumped off of his lap, sauntering across the room. He was watching me carefully and I smirked down at the floor, knowing that he was regretting saying no to my earlier proposition. This really was the better option. Today was a bad day to be late. Especially with Jeanine already here. The only important thing right now was that I went and enjoyed my day while I was waiting for the night so that Four and I could slip away undetected.

I headed over to the edge of the bed and grabbed my clothing, slipping it on quickly. My underwear was first and I heard Eric grumble once I had hidden my private areas from him. I snorted under my breath as I adjusted them. They were slightly stretched out and there was a little tear in the back of them. My tank top went on next and I slipped on a thin jacket over the top of it, one that I had left here weeks ago that Jeanine had found.

I grabbed my pair of tight jeans after that and moved them over my hips before grabbing my boots and pulling them on, tucking the material from my pants into them. Once I had straightened out my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail I turned back to Eric. His eyes hadn't strayed from me once the entire time that I had been getting changed. I walked over to him slowly and he grabbed me tightly, leaning in to kiss me.

"Get out of here before it's too late. I'm about ready to keep you here," he said.

"Remember... I offered."

He grinned at me, pressing a small kiss against my neck right behind my ear. I let out a deep sigh and shook my head. I wanted him to keep me here. I wanted to stay in this apartment forever and forget that there was a war brewing. I wanted to forget all of my troubles. But instead I gave him a soft smile.

"If only training was over," I teased.

Eric laughed and swatted me in the butt before I turned and headed out of the apartment for what very well may be the last time. The door shut behind me and I let out a deep breath. I would only see Eric a few more times before tonight. Taking in another few deep breaths I walked down the hallway and headed straight to the fear landscape room. I knew that my friends would already be out of breakfast at this point.

They were much better than me at being on time. I was probably the latest out of any of them on any given day. But not today - today I was going to be on time. As I walked through the halls I heard the PA system make a horrid screeching sound. I assumed that it hadn't been used that often. This was the first time that I had ever heard it being used.

"All initiates report for final testing. Repeat, all initiates report for final testing," the man on the PA system announced.

They really didn't want to take a chance with us being late. So I nodded to myself and took a deep breath, heading straight for the fear landscape. This was it. As I approached the set of double doors I could hear everyone inside chatting among themselves. I assumed that quite a few people were in there at the moment.

Grabbing the handle of the door I pushed them open and walked into the room. Just like I had been expecting, it was crowded beyond belief. I was shocked that this many people could even fit in the room. Despite the fact that I knew a lot of people could fit in here, it seemed that it was bordering on about fifty of them right now. Although I could still see that my friends were standing in the back corner of the room. I smiled and headed straight for them.

"Hey guys!" I called.

They all turned back to me. "Hey," Buck greeted, wrapping an arm over my shoulder.

"The last day of training. Is everyone ready?" I asked as I came to stand beside Heather.

"Alex!" She called happily.

I laughed loudly as Heather wrapped me into a hug and her arms tightened around my mid-section. I leaned into my friend even after she let go and took a deep breath. I was going to miss these days. I was going to miss Heather. I was going to miss everyone that was standing around us right now. With her arm wrapped over my shoulder, Heather led me to stand in the center of our circle of friends. Not that there was much room. There was hardly any room at all.

"Come on, we're all ready. Right guys?" Heather asked everyone.

They all nodded back at her with different expressions on their face. Some people, mainly the ones that I was closer to, all looked happy and excited for this. Maybe to be over or maybe to finally get to be a Dauntless member. Others, mostly the people that were closer to the middle and bottom of the pack, looked nervous. I assumed that it was because of their precarious position of the leader-board. But no matter what, everyone looked like they were ready for this to be over.

"Of course," Cole said.

"We're almost there," Dante said excitedly.

"Never thought we'd see it," Jax added.

"Hell yeah!" Aaron yelled, startling me slightly. "This is my one last chance to take over the number one spot again."

He nudged me in the side. I laughed and shook my head at him. He was not taking the number one spot from me. "Absolutely not," I said, shoving him back.

It seemed that everyone else agreed with me that he was not going to be taking the number one spot back. And I knew that Aaron knew that too. He just liked to tease me about getting the number one spot back. "I don't think so, man," Dante said.

He was patting Aaron on the back. I laughed and shook my head at the two boys. "Oh, come on!" Aaron cried.

"I think Alex wouldn't let you pry that from her cold, dead, hands," Dante said.

I couldn't help it, I shivered a little at the thought that someone might be moving my corpse in a few hours from now. But they didn't need to know that. So I simply smiled and laughed with them, reminding myself that it was only a joke. They didn't know what was coming to me.

"You would think right," I told Dante.

Jackson nudged me and I turned to smile at him. I didn't talk to Jackson much but that didn't mean that I didn't like him. He was one of the friendlier Dauntless born. He just didn't look like it. "Then we're just going to have to battle for that second place spot," Jackson teased Aaron.

I could tell that the two boys were best friends. Lisa had once told me that they had been raised together, their parents each other's best friends. But that didn't mean that they weren't competitive. So I laughed softly and shook my head at the competitive nature of the Dauntless boys. It was somewhat cute.

"Come on!" Draven yelled, startling everyone.

All eyes turned to him in complete shock. Draven was normally somewhat soft-spoken. To hear him yell like that was something strange. Normally it was Buck, Heather, Dante, and myself that were the loudest. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"You guys are seriously going to let yourselves be beaten by a five foot tall blonde girl from Amity?" he asked.

"Draven!" I shouted.

We all stared at each other before all eyes turned to me. I blushed softly and shook my head. It took a few moments before everyone began to laugh loudly. He was right. I was hardly the one that they thought would be the one in the first ranking. "He makes a fair point," Heather said.

I was in first ranking but I was also leading myself into slaughter. I supposed that all things came at a price. "She's a lot fiercer than she looks," Michael said.

"Thank you," I said happily.

He was one of the middle ranking Dauntless born and I smiled at him. Like Jackson, I didn't talk to him much, but I knew that he was a good guy. He always said hello to me in the halls. Everyone laughed loudly again and a few of my friends gave me gentle shoves. I was smiling softly at them as they all moved around me. I was going to miss them. I wanted to be able to stay friends with all of them. But things couldn't happen that way. Not now.

The room went a little quieter as people began to move around, each person moving to their final stations. We were close to the testing period. "Not that I don't enjoy talking about little missy over here, look at everyone around us," Jet said.

I smiled and stomped on Jet's foot lightly, making sure that it wasn't going to do any damage. "Don't be an ass," I shot back.

Suddenly I remembered what he had said about looking around us. I didn't bother to look around like the rest of our friends. I knew who was standing close to us. I didn't want to think about the people that were standing close to us. I couldn't bring myself to care right now. As everyone's eyes shifted around the room I made a point to stare at the floor. Somewhere in here Jeanine Matthews would be watching me. But I didn't want to see her until I absolutely needed to.

"I can't believe that they have this many people here," Buck said, turning the attention back to the small group of us.

"There are a lot of people here," Jet added.

"I didn't think that the end of Dauntless initiation was a big deal. I'm pretty sure that none of the other Factions have a last test that's as popular as this one," Buck pointed out.

The final Amity test was just a string of words and comments that were designed to make you lose your happiness. No one ever watched them. They were boring because no one ever failed. Plenty of people could fail the final fear landscape. The only thing that I had to make sure right now was that I was not one of the people that failed it. I wouldn't. I knew that I wouldn't.

"Maybe they like watching everyone's fears," Jax muttered under his breath.

"They probably do," I said.

He seemed to be as fond as the rest of the people in here that I was. All of the initiates nodded and shifted uncomfortably in their spots. These were the people that were here to determine their futures in Dauntless and society. I knew that they were nervous. I wondered how I would feel if I were in their position. It was obvious that some people were a little more concerned than others. Cole was one of the ones that I could tell were nervous. He was as pale as a sheet right about now and it only looked like it was getting worse by the second.

"I'm not sure if I want everyone in here to know my fears. Half of the people in here are in my fears," Cole muttered, panicked.

I couldn't help it. I stared laughing heartily, happy that he had said something to lift the mood. Within moments of my outburst the others followed me in laughter. Although no one seemed to be enjoying it more than Heather, who looked like she might piss herself. She loved watching her boyfriend embarrass himself. Something that he did frequently. It wasn't Heather that came to Cole's aid. She wanted to continue laughing. Instead it was Lisa. She wrapped her arm around Cole and I smirked at her.

"Of course they are, Cole," she said patronizingly.

I laughed loudly and shook my head as the rest of us began to make little jibes at Cole. "Some of these people are a little scary," I said softly, looking around.

"Come on, I mean I know people like Four and Eric appear in people's fear landscapes but how can half of the people in here be in yours?" she asked him bluntly.

I gave a sharp shiver but made sure to steel myself so that no one could see. Two of the people in this room were in my fear landscape. Actually, most of the people in this room were in my fear landscape. But I had a damn good reason for them to be there. Flipping her hair over her shoulders I turned to smirk at Serena. We had started out on bad terms but it seemed that we had become relatively good friends over the past few weeks.

"That's just sad. I hope that you guys can get through these things without mortifying yourselves. At least all of my fears are completely normal. There are mostly strangers in my fear landscape. At least, I think they're all strangers," she said, the last part more to herself than to anyone else.

I shook my head as Serena swung her hair over her shoulder once more. I liked her just fine but there were moments that I wanted to kill her. This was one of those times. "Alex!" I heard over the background noise.

"What?" I asked, turning back.

A blush fell over my face the moment that I realized what had just happened. The room silenced itself slightly as all of the faces in the room turned to look at me. My blush increased and I gave a little smile as I walked over to where I had heard the voice come from. Just as I had expected, it was near the center of the room, right where the chair was. All of the guests were sitting against the edges of the room, clearly waiting for my fear landscape to begin.

"Come on up, we're ready for you," Four said.

He was standing right next to the chair. "Okay," I muttered, walking up.

He had dark bags under his eyes and I figured that he hadn't slept too well last night. "Everyone else, head out into the waiting room. I'll call you in as the turns progress," Four instructed.

All of the other initiates nodded to Four before turning to leave the room. Pretty much everyone that walked by wished me good luck's and well wishes that I responded to. Heather was the last to walk by me but I grabbed her arm before she could depart from the fear landscape room.

"Heather -"

"You'll be fine, don't panic. You're the best one here. You're fine. You're going to go in there and spend some time by yourself and when everything is over we're going to celebrate together!" she yelled.

I smiled at her. I wished that I could have done that. But I celebrated yesterday. There was nothing for me to celebrate today. "Thanks," I whispered.

"And you're going to pull Eric in for the biggest kiss you've ever had in front of everyone," Heather teased, leaning in slightly so that no one else could hear her.

We were both smirking at each other as I laughed and shoved Heather gently. She was laughing and I shook my head at her. I was going to miss her more than anyone else in here. I would miss all of them, but I was sure that I would miss Heather the most. I wanted to tell her the truth more than anything else but I knew that I couldn't. No one could know.

"I will," I told her.

It was a lie but Heather didn't see through it. I wondered if maybe she was losing some of her Candor qualities. "Don't worry. We'll have fun later," she said.

"Of course. I'll see you later, Heather. I love you. And thanks," I told her softly.

She smiled at me as I grabbed her for one last hug, quickly letting her depart to the rest of our friends. "Love you too!" she called.

Once I saw Heather leave and the door clicked shut behind her I turned on my heels and headed over to the chair that I would be taking my final test in. I took a deep breath and walked up the stairs to it, letting my eyes wander slightly. I wanted to know just how many people were really here. It seemed like there were a lot.

Up on the stage area there was only Four, who was waiting for me with the needle in his hand. He was beckoning to me with a tiny nod. Around the rest of the area I could see the others Dauntless leaders that I rarely ever saw, Max, Jeanine Matthews, Lauren, Jack Kang, Marcus Eaton, Johanna, Cameron, Zeke, a few other higher up members, and in the corner of the room, Eric.

Each of them was watching me with a different look on their face. The leaders that I rarely saw were all looking at me with something in between pleasure and curiosity. I wasn't sure that I liked any of their looks. Max and Jeanine Matthews were both watching me with little smiles that unnerved me to my core. I knew that they were both thinking about what was to come tonight.

Jack Kang was giving me an even stare but he had a tiny, comforting smile on his face. Lauren was smiling at me as well, clearly rooting for us. Marcus Eaton had a nasty sneer on his face and I looked past him quickly. Johanna was giving me a bright smile that screamed that she was proud of me. I smiled back at her. Cameron and Zeke were both giving me silly faces and teasing smiles. Eric was the only one that was giving me a look that said more than just I'm proud or I can't wait.

His said that he was proud and everything more. I gave him an almost imperceptible smile before turning and taking a seat in the chair, trying to push my thoughts about him away. Four walked up to me quickly and I leaned back, letting him brush the hair from off of my shoulders. I felt the sharp point of the needle drive into my skin and I shivered slightly. _Here goes nothing_. Four leaned down to my ear but I continued to stare straight ahead of me.

"You're ready. You can do this," Four said.

"Thank you."

"They can see your hallucinations on the screen. So you get past your fears the way a Dauntless would, but do it quickly," Four warned me softly so that no one else could hear.

I nodded at him but stopped the moment that I felt the needle tugging at the skin in my neck. "Right. Get out of there fast and keep the number one ranking. Thanks Four, for everything. I'll see you on the other side. And I'll meet you tonight. You remember the plan?" I asked him.

"Got it. Focus now," he said.

I leaned back, crossing my hands over my lap. Before the plunger was pushed on the needle I glanced over to the edge of the room to stare at Eric once more. He now had a straight face on. He gave me one last nod as the plunger went down and the icy feeling soaked into my veins. Eric's unreadable face was the last thing that I saw before slipping into the abyss.

When the world came back into focus I knew instantly where I was going to be. In the room in Erudite with my parents and Jeanine in there together. It was obvious from the room that we were in that things were going to be going a little different in the fear landscape. For one, I knew for a fact that this wasn't the same room that my original fear had been in. I watched as my parents were each dragged into the room and I reached on my body to see if there was anything that I could use as a weapon.

The only thing that I had was a bobby pin that was in the back of my head. It was against the base of my skull and I grabbed it out of my hair quickly, ensuring that no one could see what I was doing. I knew how to end this fear sim before it could even really begin. There was no way that I was going to let her say anything. I had to win this one. Jeanine had taken enough from me. She was not going to take my spot in Dauntless as well. Not the one that I earned.

Moving carefully I snapped the bobby pin in half and turned up the edges to make sure that they were sharp enough. Hiding it in the palm of my hand I watched as Jeanine Matthews walked into the room with two body guards at her side. They each grabbed onto one of my parents and I walked up to Jeanine slowly.

"Miss Freesia. Do you know why you're here?" Jeanine asked.

She had a bright smirk on her face and I watched as she held up a hand, motioning to her men to put their guns up to my parent's heads. This had bothered me for so long, but it didn't bother me anymore. I was ready. I stared at her for half a second before nodding with a smirk of my own.

"Yes," I answered quickly.

I grabbed onto the bobby pin tightly before running after her and jamming the edge into her eye. Jeanine dropped to the ground, bleeding all over the place and screaming to the bloody skies. I blocked out all sights of her and grabbed the gun from the floor, the one that she must have been holding before. Turning to the two men that seemed to be in between killing my parents, killing me, or helping Jeanine, I put off two shots through each of their eyes.

My heart was pumping as I waited for the second fear to arise. The blue room that I was in faded and I watched as another room came into view. This one was gray and I stared at it in horror. I knew which one was coming. This was the one where I had to kill Eric to prevent Jeanine from carrying out her plans. I hated this one. A gun was strapped to my thigh and I grabbed it, checking to make sure that there was still only one bullet. Just like I had expected, the fear hadn't changed. There was still only one bullet.

Knowing what I had to do, I dashed behind the computer counter and waited for everyone to walk into the room. It took a moment or two but when they did I made sure not to waste a moment's time. Eric came in first and behind him I could just barely see the swish of blonde hair that I knew would be Jeanine. I aimed over the edge of the computer cabinet and just before I ducked out I caught the sight of Jeanine's grinning face. Jumping out, I aimed the gun at Eric's forehead and pulled the trigger. The gun recoiled and I watched as Eric fell to the ground, another body falling behind him, their limbs tangling together.

I barely had time to mourn what I had done and watch the lifeless eyes of Jeanine and Eric before the scene changed once more. It felt like I was flying through the fear landscape right now. I knew that I couldn't even get through Lauren's fear landscape this fast. The room went through a strange warp and the next thing that I knew I was falling. I let out a short shriek before my feet hit the ground of the walkway in between the Erudite and Candor buildings. My baby sister dying because I couldn't get to her fast enough. I knew how to get through this one. I just had to go fast.

Brushing through the crowd quickly, I noticed that I was getting lots of nasty looks. It didn't matter. There was only one thing that mattered to me right now. I dashed after the man that I needed before catching him out of the corner of my eyes. The Factionless man was already at my mother's side. He had his hand on her arm and I grabbed after him. When I was just a few paces shy of the man I jumped the rest of the length, making sure that he wasn't going to get to her this time. He growled darkly as I shoved him to the ground and punched him in the throat. My mother and father both cried out but it didn't matter. My mother was safe.

I stood weakly from the ground, searching desperately for the right words to say to my parents but I never got the chance. As soon as I got up from my spot on the ground and straightened up I noticed that the world had changed again. I shivered as I watched and saw that I was back down in the snake pit. This was certainly one of my worst fears. I darted over to the walls of the cave as the snakes began to slither out of the edges of the cave and I screamed as one of the snakes got in a good bite to the edge of my shin. I knew that I could keep going. I had been bitten plenty of times before when I was practicing this fear.

My legs pumped as I ran over to the edge of the pit and grabbed onto the bottom rock. I groaned as my legs and arms strained at each grab and more than once I felt the snakes bite at my hands and feet. I cried out softly at each new bite and groaned as I felt the blood pooling around my wrists and ankles. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that I got out of here. I was slowly making progress as I grabbed the top of the wall of the cave and yanked myself out. A few snakes came flying up with my leg and I cried out in fear as I straightened up and began to run at a full sprint away from the cave, ignoring the sharp pains in my ankles.

As I continued to run I jumped in surprise when I went smashing into the wall of another room. This one was white and I rolled my eyes. It was the room where all of my friends and family were gathered to insult me. Like the other times that I had been in here I was with the other initiates, my friends in Dauntless, Iris and Florian, my parents, and Eric. Jeanine Matthews was in the room too and I knew that somewhere she had two of her goons watching over Four's body. The thought sent chills down my spine.

One by one they all went back through insulting me and I had to listen to them all. I hated thinking that some part of them might have been right. I hated thinking when they told me that I was going to die that they were right. I watched as Jeanine called out for the men that held Four's corpse and I growled deep in my throat. As Jeanine teased me I grabbed out for the gun that one of her men was holding.

She yelled in surprise as I shoved the butt of the gun into the man's face before turning and firing a bullet into her knee. She dropped weakly and I smirked down at her. I raised the gun once more to shoot her again, directly in the forehead, but before I got the chance the scene changed again.

Just as I had expected, I was back in Dauntless, standing in the training room. I leaned back and waited for Eric to walk into the room, just like I knew that he would. It took a few moments longer than I had thought that it would but Eric finally walked into the room and I smiled, trying to pretend like I didn't know why he was here. He grinned at me and I gave him a smile back. Before he could try to smooth talk me into sparring with him I swung a fist out, managing to catch him in the cheek. It connected roughly with him and I watched as he fell to the ground hard. It was obvious that he hadn't been anticipating me to hit him.

For a few moments we traded blows back and forth before he managed to catch me under the leg and drag me out to the Chasm. It was the same thing that always happened. I was too weak to fight back with him on that one. I thrashed back at forth, trying to get away from him, but my thrashes weren't strong enough. And I knew that they never would be. I had to grab the railing.

That was the one way that I knew that I could beat him. As he dragged me to the edge of the Chasm I caught the railing just before Eric could throw me over and I wrapped my legs around his waist, kicking off to the side. Each time Eric caught me but I refused to give up. I was going to get him away from me. I kicked out a few times in his jaw and shoulders before his grip on me finally loosened enough for me to kick him over.

I wrapped my arms around the Chasm railing as tightly as I could before kicking out at Eric one last time. My booted foot connected with his cheek and I watched as he began to slip over the edge of the railing. He caught onto my thighs and I groaned at the sudden pain that was shooting through my thighs as I slipped over the edge of the walkway. It took me a few kicks to Eric's face to get him to release me but once he had I managed to weakly pull myself back up onto the walkway, nearly vomiting on myself. He was heavier than I had expected. And now his corpse lay at the bottom of the Chasm.

I tried to sit back up and let out a breath but before I could I went shooting up in the dentist chair that was in the fear landscape room. Everyone was sitting around giving me a soft round of applause and I noticed a few strange expressions being exchanged from between Eric, Four, Jeanine, and myself.

"Well done. Well done. There's no way that anyone else is going to take over the number one spot," Four said, making me laugh.

"Thanks," I muttered.

He was right. It had only taken me just over seven minutes. "Now go sit outside. Wait for me. Try not to dwell on everything," he warned me softly.

Weakly I nodded at him before standing. As I exited the room I walked past Eric and Jeanine. He gave me a little nod and Jeanine had a wicked smirk on her face. Not wanting to face what was going to happen in a few hours I leaned back on the wall and closed my eyes, choosing to walk past my friends and not say anything to them. They didn't seem much for chatting anyways. Not that I had expected them to. Everyone was nervous for what was to come.

As I sat against the wall I watched as the minute and hour hand on the clock ticked by and the rankings moved over the electronic board, moving their people into their final spots. One by one my friends began to rejoin me as we all watched the rankings finalize themselves. While people were becoming more and more excited I was getting more and more nervous. It was getting too close to when I was supposed to leave.

In just a matter of a few dozen minutes Four and I were going to have to go and take care of both Jeanine and the war. There was no way out of it. We had officially reached the end of the line. Our time was up and we were about to go on a suicide run. It killed me to think about it but we were finally here. I tried to distract myself by watching the rankings move around but when Heather came out of the room I smiled slightly, forgetting what I had to do for just a moment.

She was going to be safe in the top ten. That meant no Fence duty for her. Unfortunately though, Colt had managed to worm his way into the safe side of the rankings. He would be staying in Dauntless. Although it looked like he would be on Fence duty at least. It turned out that it was Hunter and Aria that were leaving. At least I got rid of Hunter.

As the bell rang, signaling the end of initiation I heard the cheers from everyone around me. We had all made it. All of my friends were whooping and yelling at each other and I smiled as they all ran out into the Pit, beckoning for me to join them. I said that I would but it was just another lie. Most of the other Dauntless members were all laughing at our antics and I smiled softly. I wished that I could be like one of them, enjoying that we were finally real members of the Factions that we had all fought so hard to become a part of.

I watched as the last of my friends ran off towards the Pit and I gave Heather a shouted promise that I would be out there soon. A hand laid itself on my shoulder and I turned back to see that it was Eric who was standing behind me. He was smirking down at me and I gave him a weak smile, trying not to show that I was nervous.

"Not bad, Amity," Four said.

"Thanks."

"Enjoy the celebration. I have things to do tonight. If you want I'll be back later," he shrugged.

I knew where he was going. Little did he know that we were going to the exact same place. "Okay," I muttered.

"Probably around midnight or so," he continued.

"I'll be there."

 _Stop lying to him_. I nodded again and waited for him to leave me. He did, but it wasn't the way that I was expecting. Eric grabbed the back of my head and I gasped loudly as his planted a harsh kiss on my lips. I heard a plate clatter behind me as I stood stupidly ramrod still. He finally broke away from me, but not before giving me a proud wink.

"See you around, Amity," he said before turning and leaving.

"Bye," I muttered.

It didn't take long for me to smile bashfully as I turned the other way, trying to avoid the shell-shocked gazes of the Dauntless members that were still flooding in the hallway. Turning on my heels, I headed to walk away, not wanting to make this any worse for me. Damn Eric, I should have known that he would do something like that the minute that I was a real Dauntless member.

"What the hell?" a Dauntless woman whispered as I walked through the hallway.

"Did Eric just kiss her?" a man that was standing near her asked.

Come on people, was it that hard to figure out what Eric had just done? A loud and barking laugh came from the far end of the hallway and I blushed softly. If I somehow lived through tonight I was going to kill Eric for this. I was never going to hear the end of it. This wasn't the way that I'd wanted our relationship to become public knowledge.

"Isn't that the Amity transfer?" another man asked.

They had to be joking. I was a real Dauntless member now, they weren't allowed to call me the Amity transfer anymore. But I knew that they always would. Just the way that Eric always would. Another woman that was standing at the end of the hallway was the next one to speak.

"That was Eric, right?" she asked her friends.

I nearly laughed at her words. Of course it was Eric. I supposed that it would have shocked me too if I were one of them. I was still a little shocked myself. Walking out of the main area for the fear landscapes I headed towards the train station, trying to sneak past a few kids that were darting into the Pit for the celebration. This seemed to be one of the biggest days here in Dauntless. I wished that I could be here to celebrate it with them.

"Come on! The party is starting!" a few younger kids yelled to me as they ran by. I smiled at them and shook my head. They were faster than I could ever give them credit for. "Come on! It's time to go!"

They continued to yell as they banked the corner for the Pit. I watched through the walls that led to the Pit with a soft smile as my friends were welcomed as full members into the folds of Dauntless. They looked thrilled. A few times I had to shift behind the wall to avoid their gazes. I knew that they were all looking for me considering that I had said that I would be right there.

"You ready?" Four called out to me.

"Sure."

He was standing only a few feet from me. He was probably the only person in the compound right now, beside myself, that wasn't smiling. He was standing there with some clothes in his hands that I looked over. I could tell that they were the clothes that he wanted me to wear. They were more protective, like the ones that I had worn during our mission to Amity a few months ago. I nodded at him and grabbed the clothes, walking on shaky legs with him towards the train station.

As we walked I finally turned back to Four and attempted a smile. It probably looked a hell of a lot more like a sneer. "Four," I called.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not ever going to be ready. But being here and not being alone, that's the best thing that I could ask for," I told him honestly.

"I'll always be here. Until the end."

Four smiled at me sadly and grabbed my hand. I noticed that his were about as clammy as mine were. As we exited the building towards the train station I risked a glance up at the clock. It was only just approaching six. I smirked, perfect timing on our part. We walked hand-in-hand towards the the train and I sucked in a breath as it approached. This was it. No matter what was about to happen, this was it. And I was glad that I wasn't alone.

 **A/N:** Another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **Debbydq: Oh yes, Eric is angry at everyone. And we all saw that coming. He's not a very level-headed person. He wants to protect her but he feels weird about it, he's never wanted to protect anyone before. Thank you! Well, unfortunately that's not the way that it's going to go. Eric will be going in blind. Poor Eric! Hope you enjoyed this one. Enjoy the next one!**

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping you liked this one!**

 **Erised Brophy: Thanks! I'm back to my dorms safe and sound :)**

 **leek812: Thank you! I'm back and I'll have the next chapter up soon :)**

 **sleepy1177: I'm all good and back where I belong doing what I missed so much over the past few days! I hope you were safe during the hurricane as well. It was nasty the farther north you were. Hope everything is alright with you and yours!**


	11. Chapter 11 Announcement

Hey guys!

Just wanted to let everyone know that there is not going to be an M-rated section for this chapter. If you want to read this chapter please hop on over to Unfading. It's already published. Happy reading!

Until next time -A


	12. Chapter 12 Announcement

Hey guys!

Just wanted to let you all know that there is no M rated section for Chapter 25! If you want to read the new update just go on ahead and hop on over to the T rated version.

Thank you! Hope you all enjoy! Til next time -A


	13. Chapter 13

16 Months Later...

The alarm sitting on the edge of Eric's bed went off loudly and I groaned, rolling over into the pillows. How could it have already been morning? There was no way. I guessed that it was because we were supposed to be awake much earlier today than we normally were. We were here again. Choosing Day. It was the one day of the year where everyone in the compound had to wake up at an ungodly hour just so that we could welcome the newbies. And for the leaders it was even worse.

There were few others that actually had to be awake this early. I knew that Heather would be up around six so she could go and check over the files of the newest additions to Dauntless. The ones that had chosen a year ago today. She had to make sure that they all knew what to do today. The first Choosing Day for recruits in their first year was always the strangest. Three hundred and sixty-five days prior it had been them jumping into the net. Now it was someone else's turn.

For me it had been an entire seven hundred and thirty days since I had made the jump into Dauntless. In Amity I hadn't been able to sleep since I had been so concerned about where I would be going. Now I just wanted to sleep since I knew exactly what I was to be doing. Not that I wanted to do anything that I should have been. This was one of the busiest days of the year for the leaders. Eric in particular, since he had to go and retrieve them. At least I got to stay here all day.

Glancing over to the alarm I saw that it was now blinking at two past five. Eric seemed to finally have gotten sick of the blaring alarm as he smashed the snooze button and rolled back over. I smirked to myself as he rolled over towards me and grabbed me tightly. His grip was crushing around my waist but I didn't mind. It wasn't too often that Eric or I got to sleep in so we enjoyed the few minutes of peace while we could. Typically I was the one that had to wake up first. Eric was an early riser as well though. He normally woke up with me.

Despite the fact that sixteen months ago we had decided that there would be no such thing as a Head Leader, I knew that I was the one that everyone called on to do everything. I had Max's old office, which had been given to me a few weeks after I had taken over my position. The first thing that I had done was trash all of Max's things. I replaced the desk that he'd had with my whitewashed wooden one from Amity. There were some paintings from the Factionless men and women who had sold them to me when I'd been looking to decorate. I barely recognized it as the one Max had once threatened me in.

Not that I spent much time in my office. I liked to be out and about in Dauntless. I was one of the few women that were allowed upstairs in the Wolf's Den. Actually, I was the only one. With the exception of when I dragged Heather, Lisa, and Serena with me. Although they usually didn't stay long as I got rude comments from the men that were actually allowed to be up there.

Dauntless had changed a good bit since I had taken my spot as a leader. And it had all had something to do with Divergent's being exposed to the public. It wasn't just that. It was the fact that a Divergent was now the leader of Dauntless. Or at least one of them.

The change hadn't gone over well at first. Not with the first meeting that had gone on between the five Factions. Everyone hated the thought that a Divergent was now leading one of the Factions. Especially because that same Divergent had killed Jeanine Matthews. It hadn't just been the one trial that I had been through. It had been quite a few. More than I could count. The first one or two months that I had been a leader here in Dauntless had been full of me being brought to different Factions to try and sort out everything that had happened that night.

It had taken my use of the Candor machine that utilized the truth serums for my story to finally be believable. Of course that meant that I had been forced to admit everything. I had been forced to tell people that Tori and Four were hiding my secret, as was Eric. That hadn't gone over well. But I had managed to take all of the blame for myself. It just felt right. I had been forced to restructure the Factions system. Between myself and the other leaders we figured that the only way to avoid another incident like the one that Jeanine had caused would be to destroy the Faction system that we knew and create a new one.

It had mostly been my job to restructure the system. Not that it bothered me. It meant that I could do whatever I wanted. Within reason, of course. Everything had to be approved by the others on the city counsel. The first thing that I had done was work on inter-Faction relations. They had been terrible for the near one hundred years that we'd been living in the Faction system. It was the life that we all knew and it was something that I knew had to be fixed. It would be the only way that we could live in peace.

Erudite had been the hardest to get on board. Half of them were angry that I had killed Jeanine Matthews and the other half hated that a Divergent was running the show in Dauntless. It had taken a few visits from the leaders of the other Factions to get them to even hear me out. The first thing I'd had to do was recount everything that had happened between Jeanine and I since I'd come to Dauntless. I'd been forced to explain to them how Divergence really didn't make me that much different from them.

Needless to say they really didn't believe that. It had been nearly impossible for me to make them believe that I was just like them. They thought that since I had scored Erudite as well on my Aptitude Test I should be forced to show them that I was just like any other Erudite. I had been forced to take the test that they gave their members. It was like an IQ test. I took it and failed miserably. I was on par with a kid in Erudite. After the Faction had gotten a good laugh at me they'd been finally willing to hear me out.

Of course they had laughed a few more times while I was giving my suggestions. The first thing that I had requested was more open communication between the Factions. It all meant that there could be no more secrets. It was half of what had made Jeanine so powerful. No one knew everything about her plans. It was not something that sat well with the Factions, not being able to hide things from each other, but people had taken to it better than I had thought that they would.

There were a few things that I had wanted everyone to do. We had no secrets between Factions. All projects were authorized in pieces by each Faction. It would go through Candor first. They would determine whether or not the project was ethically correct. Then the project went through Erudite. They would consider how much the project would cost and whether or not it was even worth the money or time. We then sent the project to Amity and Abnegation. They constantly had people overseeing the project, since they were the best peacekeepers without their own motivations. Dauntless would protect the project as it was underway and until it was completed.

It was a good system. Despite doubts in the beginning people ended up liking it. Everyone was able to work together and things weren't too high-stress for any one Faction. No one Faction had to handle everything. It also gave everyone a job in each of the Factions. It created more work for people. It was better than everyone who didn't fit in one particular place having to go to either the Factionless or work somewhere like in a store or the dining rooms.

Abnegation had been one of the easiest Factions to teach our new ways. They liked the thought that not one Faction controlled any one thing. And they were the one Faction that didn't seem to mind having a Divergent leading a Faction. They were the most curious about it. They had been the ones to ask what it was like to be Divergent. I'd had the easiest time with them in changing the ways that the Factions related to each other. I'd also met a few members there. One of which I was sure was going to defer. Beatrice, I was pretty sure that her name was. She was like me. She was good at pretending to be Abnegation, but deep down she wasn't.

Amity had been easy to get on board too. Maybe it was because Divergence didn't make them uncomfortable. Or maybe it was because it was my home Faction. Johanna had been good with working with me on almost everything. There were very few plans that she didn't like. I had become quite fond of her over the past few months. She had become something like a second mother to me. She seemed much less intimidating now because I no longer had to pretend that I liked her Faction. She was just fine with me being Dauntless, as long as what I was doing what I loved.

Candor seemed so-so on the change. I was sure that they always would think that the other Factions were liars, simply because we hadn't been placed in Candor. Jack Kang had been good with the changes. I had a feeling that it was because I was one of the people that had kept him out of prison. Although I knew that he wasn't overly fond of the Divergence. Most of their Faction wasn't. I assumed that it was because they thought that hiding my Divergence had been one big lie. They weren't wrong. Although they worked with me well on the changes so I really didn't have that much to complain about.

Dauntless took the new changes with a grain of salt. They weren't overly fond of the changes at first but I was sure that everyone was glad to see Max out of the way. No one had been overly fond of him. And Eric had certainly been nicer to people with Max and Jeanine out of the picture. It made life easier for everyone. Although that didn't mean that he didn't snap at people when they irritated him. And that was a lot. But things were good here in Dauntless. This was my home and these were my people. No matter how upset that they made me.

And they had all managed to make me upset at least once over the past year and a half. My transfer friends had all been almost perfect with the changes, but there had been a brief period of adjustment. They were so used to me being their equal. It was a little strange to adapt to me being in charge and their having to listen to me. We had all walked around on eggshells for a while before finally learning the difference between being an asshole and giving some tough love.

But we were still all best friends, so that was all that mattered. And they had stood behind me when I'd made the demand that no Factions would be in charge of any one thing anymore. I had made sure of that. It was part of why I thought that Jeanine had become so powerful. Because Erudite were the only Faction that knew everything about their own Faction and everything about the others. Instead of Abnegation being the only Faction to run the government, it was now split. They agreed that it was for the best.

The first thing that I had done with assisting in organizing the new government was open a case on Marcus Eaton for domestic and child abuse. The domestic abuse could never be proven, as his wife had died long ago, but the child abuse could. Four stepped up with stories of his own, admitting that it was why he had left Abnegation and defected to Dauntless. Over the next few weeks more people had come forward and expressed knowledge of the abuse towards Tobias Eaton by Marcus Eaton. About six weeks after the case had first been opened Marcus Eaton was convicted. I had left sentencing up to Four.

Not very surprisingly, Four had not wanted his father executed. Instead he was imprisoned in the cells in Erudite. He would live out his life there. Plenty of others ended up there too. A few more members of the government and quite a few from Erudite. There had apparently been more people privy to the knowledge of Jeanine's plans than we had originally expected. There were even a few members of Dauntless convicted that had been convicted. However most of them had been forced to stay on Permanent Fence Duty.

The new government was split between the Factions. Everyone had something that they needed to do and we all had to work together to ensure that we would never fall back to the way that we had been during Jeanine's reign over Chicago. We had made sure that none of the Factions were strictly government. They were all workers as well as government officials. Government officials were now normal workers that the individual Factions decided were the best suited to help run the city.

We had three government officials per Faction. The officials from Erudite were all elderly members. Abnegation was comprised of a man and woman that I had never heard of as well as Andrew Prior. His two children would be Choosing this year. Candor comprised of a two men and a woman. We had offered Jack Kang the position but he had denied, saying that he felt he had enough to do as a representative of Candor. I didn't blame him. Amity was comprised of Johanna, Iris's father, and Florian's mother.

The Dauntless officials had been up to myself and the other leaders. It was a choice that had taken us some time. Being from Dauntless we were prone to being loud and expressive. That wasn't always the best thing when it came to being a government official. It was what had led us to deciding that transfers into Dauntless or older members would probably be for the better. We had all talked about making three of the leaders government officials but after a good amount of deliberation we had decided that it would be too much. So we thought about the others that we could pick from.

My first choice had been Cameron. He had such a good head on his shoulders and he always knew what was best for the Faction. We had taken almost no time in deciding that he would be one of our three. He was originally from Erudite. The next had been Four. He had very begrudgingly accepted. Only after a good berating from myself. He was, of course, from Abnegation. The last had gone to Zeke. He was a level-headed man that I knew could take a hit if he ever needed to. He was the only Dauntless-born on our government officials list.

The entire process of toppling the hierarchy of the Faction system and redoing the government had taken us well over four months. But the process had been worth it. We hadn't had any problems since. Of course there were always the occasional attacks or fights in the streets, but overall it could have been much worse. It was the most at peace that I had seen Chicago in my eighteen years.

Once the political system had been fixed I had turned my attention to internal issues. The other Factions were free to work out their problems on the inside. It was time for me to fix what was wrong here in Dauntless. The first thing that I had tried to eradicate was the expulsion of transfers that didn't rank high enough. I hadn't gotten exactly what I'd wanted, but it was better than nothing.

The choice had come to a vote. It was majority rules. Unfortunately the majority wanted to keep the ranking system in place. I knew why. It was fair. Those who ranked higher had better job choices. So despite losing that choice we had worked to change the process. It was no longer those who were the weakest. Poor attitudes, bullying, and cruelty would get you dropped in points. Cameras were now placed all over Dauntless. If one of the men and women in surveillance caught one of the initiates doing something we deemed inappropriate, rankings were dropped.

It wasn't exactly what I wanted but it was better than nothing. I had also had a few people assist with me in changing how long training went over now. We had decided that eight months was simply too long. With all of the changes to the government we needed new workers. But we also needed the time to train them. We had changed physical initiation to four months. Mental and emotional were two weeks each, totaling to five months. It was three months shorter than what I had been through.

I had also been successful in changing the rule that elderly members had to leave one way or another. The choice had been to kill themselves by jumping off of the Chasm or becoming Factionless. Almost all of the Faction had stood behind me when I had eradicated that rule. Once people could no longer do their jobs they moved to something easier. They would either work in the stores or something that required little physical movement, leaving the physical jobs to the younger and stronger workers. It was actually better than the original system that we'd had. It was one of the better changes.

After that we had moved to the Factionless. Something had to be done. They continued to grow restless and I had known that we'd be dealing with a revolt if I did nothing. I had come up with the idea that if someone who was Factionless married someone who lived in one of the Factions, they would be allowed to live with them. They would not be members and they would not be treated as such, but they would be allowed to live in the retrospective Faction. Their partners simply had to support them.

The idea hadn't gone over well at first. No one was sure how it was going to work. No one was sure that it would even be able to work. But the first people to try it were the Abnegation. And once three members had married Factionless, each of them working out, more had begun to follow the trend. A few months after its introduction I had seen Raven wandering the compound. Jet had asked her to marry him. We'd all been invited to the wedding. She couldn't really come to parties unless accompanied by Jet, and she really didn't get much of a chance to leave their apartment, but she did say that she was happier here.

I'd asked her whether or not she knew what was happening with Skylar. She had mentioned to me that lately Skylar had been getting close with a boy from Erudite. Apparently he was rather taken with her. Raven and I were both hoping for the best to come from that. I wanted to see Skylar happy, in a place that was an actual home to her. The Factionless district was nothing.

Although I had started a campaign with Amity and Abnegation to help clean up the Factionless sector. We had worked on building up some of the dilapidated skyscrapers to make places that were appropriate for people to live. That had been about six months ago. We currently had about half of one of the buildings updated. It wasn't great but it was better than living underground like they had been. We had about fifty-two people living in the building now. In two months were hoping to have about a hundred. The more people we could get off of the streets, the better off Chicago would be.

At some point I wanted to do something else with the Factionless. I hated the idea that the Abnegation were still taking care of them, or else they would have starved. I was slowly starting to work with Abnegation and Candor to give them jobs or something of the likes. We could have them working on sanitation throughout Chicago or something of the likes. I just wanted them to have a reason to live, rather than just kind of hanging around.

It wasn't long after that that I'd been forced to look into something else. It was something that had bothered me since I was a child. The fact that there was only a few hours a day for one day of the year where we got to see each other. Our friends and families that all lived in other Factions. I had decided to speak with the other Factions about opening up inter-Faction travel. I hadn't thought that it would go over well. It turned out that it did.

It turned out that I wasn't the only one that wanted to see their family and friends more often. The phrase 'Faction before blood' was still true but that didn't mean that we couldn't still love our families. Visiting Day was the one day of a year that no one had a job to perform. It was the one day where people could travel freely. But I had worked with everyone else in the government to start a new program.

It was simply called Visitation Rights. It was mostly for parents and children to be able to see each other. But friends also were able to see each other, as were siblings. Every person got one day a month to go and see a loved one. Four hour intervals once a month. It had to be signed off by a leader. If you were a leader it had to be signed off by another leader or a government official. Workers in offices made sure that people got their once a month visits and nothing more and nothing less.

No one had been surprised with the first thing that I had used my visitation for. I had gone to see my baby sister for the first time. Being one of the leaders of Chicago itself meant that I had only been there for a while to see her when she was born. She was about five months old the first time that I had actually been able to see her. Other than at the hospital when she was born. She was absolutely adorable. She was sprouting a little tuft of blonde hair. It was nearly white. My parents both told me that it was like mine was when I was born. She had the same devastatingly green eyes that we all did. Her name was Willow.

Willow was almost a year old. She was standing now and had said a few words. Well something akin to words. My mother was slightly upset that 'Dada' had come first. 'Aly' had come not long after that. It was Willow's nickname for me since Alex was too hard to pronounce. 'Mama' had finally come after that. During a visit to them just a few weeks ago I had brought Eric with me. Willow had said 'Eri' while we were there. I didn't care that Eric had chuckled softly and shaken his head. I knew that he had melted at Willow. He would just never admit it.

I was not the only one that had been enjoying the past few months. All of my friends had been working to have successful lives. Heather was still my best friend here in Dauntless. She had become an Ambassador. Actually, she was one of my many friends that had become an Ambassador. She worked in inter-Faction relations which meant that the two of us frequently worked together, much to our pleasure. We had debated on getting an apartment together but we both knew that we needed the privacy. So ours connected.

Cole and Heather were still together. Unlike Heather, Cole worked in Surveillance with Four. The two men worked on quite a few projects together. Four had been teaching Cole what to do and when to do it for the times when Four would need to be in government meetings. Cole had an apartment two levels below me. I knew that he had been batting around the idea of asking Heather to move in with him. I had been trying to convince him that it was a good idea. Everyone knew that they loved each other so much.

Buck had been enjoying his time in Dauntless as well. He was a weapons master. He used the guns and ensured that they were all in proper working condition. I knew that he enjoyed his job. Although when he used the faulty guns he had been burned by hot brass a few times. I liked to tell him that it made for cool scars. He liked to tell me to shut the hell up. We all enjoyed watching Buck strike out with a Dauntless girl named Mariah. She had bright purple hair and seemed to get on with everyone other than Buck.

Buck and Draven lived together, seeing as there was somewhat of a shortage in apartments right now. Especially with the rather large class we had just put through. There were over fifty transfers last year. Thirty-two were still here. Draven worked as a patrol guard. He typically went through the governmental sections of the City. They were on lock-down for almost everyone. He had to have special permission from me just to be there. I knew that as stressful as his job was, keeping the government officials safe, he enjoyed it.

Jade was one of my absolutely favorite 'success' stories. She had finished in one of the lower rankings but not so low that she was stuck on Fence duty. Instead she had taken a position of a secretary assistant. That meant that she worked under one of the Ambassador's. Since I loved the way that Jade had gotten along with Heather and myself so much I assigned Jade to be Heather's secretary. Now she got to take orders from Heather and I all day long. She genuinely deserved everything that she had worked so hard for.

Dante worked as an Ambassador, just like Heather. The two worked closely together. He worked in the serum department in Dauntless. It meant that he spent a lot of time in both Erudite and Candor as well. I had been worried that he wouldn't like all of the travel but he was fond of it. He got to see his family and friends pretty frequently and he enjoyed the travel. He learned most of his trade from Cameron, who had been spending more time in politics and less with his Ambassador position. But I had told him that he would be allowed to do so.

Jax was something that we liked to call a body guard. It hadn't been his first choice. He had originally wanted to be a trainer. We allowed him to be a trainer during initiation as a part-time position. Most of the time he worked to protect high-up members of the Factions. I knew that it wasn't his favorite job. He liked working as a trainer better. But he didn't mind being a body guard. He did like the people that he got to work with and he liked knowing that he had gone through so much physical training for a reason.

Jet was the only one of us to become an official trainer. During the times of the year where we didn't have new recruits he taught refresher classes. He helped the older members stay in shape, the younger transfers remember what they had learned, and pushed the prime members to work to strive for excellence. During the time where we had new initiates, Jet worked as a trainer for them with Four and Lauren, both of whom were still trainers. He took over Four's spot with the transfers when he had government work to do.

Then there were the Dauntless born. Aaron, Jackson, Michael, and Greg were all working as Ambassador's. Some were working with weapons, others with the other Factions, and some were with the patrol guard. They all remained my friends as I tried to force them into relationships with other Dauntless girls. So far I'd only been successful with Greg. He was dating a Dauntless girl named Hale; their relationship was new. Lisa worked on the patrols and Serena worked in records. It was always useful to have a friend that could get me any information on anything that I needed.

Overall everyone was having a good time living their lives here in Dauntless. Even Eric and I. We were both doing better than I had thought either one of us were capable of. Eric still wasn't particularly friendly, but he was certainly better. He wasn't overly fond of Four but the men had definitely been getting along better than when I had known them at first. I assumed that it was partially because each one had a hand in saving my life. It was the one thing that they had in common. They both cared for me.

Eric and I hadn't moved in together or anything of the sorts but we still enjoyed spending most of our time together. We liked to screw with each other and make each other angry but that wasn't to say that we didn't care for each other. I was sure that we always would. We really did care for each other. He might not love me but that was okay. He didn't have to love me. I just knew that we wouldn't want to be without each other. And that was all that mattered. As long as we were together. And we actually spent very little time apart.

As for Iris and Florian, they were still enjoying life in Candor. I had visited them a few times over the past year or so. Each time they seemed happier to be together. The pair that had once barely been able to stand being in the same room together now seemed about ready to get married. They both insisted that they weren't ready for that though. I had told them that when the day came that they were ready I had better be the first one invited.

Eric's second alarm that sat over by the kitchen counter went off and I stood to turn it off. Eric was still dead asleep. He hadn't come in until late last night; work had kept him up. He always hated Choosing Day. I would be sure to not bother waking him up until he needed to go retrieve the new recruits. That wasn't until mid-afternoon. So I slowly slipped from the bed and shivered at the cold air that hit my bare skin. I walked over and pressed the off button on the alarm, smiling at the picture of me in the red dress.

It was sitting on Eric's bedside table now. It wasn't in a photo frame but it was leaning up against the stone wall. It made me smile every time that I saw it. It told me that he really did enjoy just the simple things like having a picture of me to look at when I was too busy to actually be around. Padding into the bathroom slowly I shut the door softly behind me, not bothering to throw the lock just in case Eric needed to use the bathroom while I was in here. We were always bad about shoving each other around in the morning to try and get ready.

I turned the water on and raised it to one of the warmest settings that it could go on. As the steam rose in the bathroom I turned to look at myself in the mirror. Not much about me had changed. I'd dyed a few of the strands of the underside of my hair a bright red. My tattoos were still the same. I had the Amity tree that had the Dauntless fire on my back, the quote that went across my hip and thigh, and the angel wing that went from my ribs to right over my hipbone.

Recently I had added another two to the collection. I had gotten a small heartbeat symbol on my chest. It was right over where the top of my bra laid. Right underneath was the reason that I had gotten it. The skin was bunched and slightly burned. It wasn't a huge mark but it was just enough that I could tell that something was wrong there. It was the bullet wound from Jeanine Matthews. I had once been ashamed of it. Now I flaunted it. I was proud that I had stood up and fought for something that I believed in. Maybe I'd taken a few wounds in the process, but I was proud of myself.

The other tattoo had come from when the bet between Eric and I had finally come to a head. Considering that we put tattoos on each other we had gone relatively easy on each other. To my surprise, I actually loved the tattoo that Eric had given me. The word 'protector' was tattooed across the top of my right foot. It had been extremely painful but I loved it. It turned out that my name meant protector of mankind. It had inspired me to give Eric a Celtic eternal knot symbol just below his Dauntless leadership tattoos. His name meant eternal ruler. He liked it, even though he'd only called it only decent.

As the water heated up to the point where I wouldn't be frozen I walked into the glass shower. There were a few dark bruises on my thighs and hips. I knew that it was from a sparring match that I'd had with Aaron yesterday when we were both bored. At least I could hide my bruises. Aaron had a fat lip that would not be so easily hidden. I had felt a little bad for the hit but he had deserved it. He had broken the skin on my thighs when he'd dragged me across the mats.

After a few minutes had passed and I'd washed out both my hair and body I placed everything back on the shelf. They were my things but they were small. They were some of the few things that I left in Eric's apartment. I walked out of the shower and wiped off the steam on the mirror. I brushed my wet hair off of my face and turned as the door opened and Eric stepped in. I sent him a small smile. He hadn't bothered putting on any clothes from last night.

He walked over to the mirror and bumped me out of the way. I laughed and grabbed my brush that was on the counter, brushing my hair down so that it fell straight down over my back. The red stood out strikingly against the light blonde. Once I had applied a tiny amount of makeup on my face, mascara, eyeliner, and cover-up (to cover a small bruise from a match with Eric a few days ago) I went to go grab my clothes that were scattered out in the living room.

Before I could leave the bathroom Eric stopped me. He looked exhausted. "Breakfast?" he asked.

I didn't say anything as he pulled me in for a lingering kiss. His hands created goosebumps on my flesh. Of course neither one of us had time for that right now. I pushed him away and stepped backwards. "Please," I responded before turning to walk out of the bathroom.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Eggs."

"Anything else?"

I turned back and gave him a suggestive smile. "You," I said.

"Don't tempt me."

We both smiled. Before I made it to the doorway I felt a sharp pain on my butt, from where he had smacked me. "Asshole," I muttered.

Eric laughed at me as we both walked into the living room. I grabbed the spare set of clothing that I'd brought last night, knowing that I would have to head straight to work from here. It was rather annoying that I was never smart enough to leave a few spare sets of clothes in his apartment. I walked over to grab my clothes as Eric popped in a few pieces of bacon. It wasn't really like we had to actually do anything today. We would just be showing the new recruits around. It was them that would be stressed out today, not us.

This was actually one of my easier days. I would be going to tour the compound with Four and the transfers. Maybe I'd manage to drag Heather with us too. I grabbed my clothes in my hand and laid them out on the couch, shivering slightly when Eric walked over to me with the food, his hand running across my bare back. I popped a piece of bacon into my mouth as I grabbed my bra and underwear, slipping them both on. I ran into Eric's laundry room and tossed my pants, shirt, and underwear into the basket. I would do the laundry this weekend at some point.

As I ran back into the living room I grabbed another piece of bacon before grabbing my clothes. I pulled on a low-cut tank top that was tight around me. It dipped just low enough to show the heartbeat tattoo. I pulled on a pair of black leather pants after that and fought to close the buttons for a moment. I could hear Eric laughing at my predicament. Once they were situated on my thighs I grabbed a third piece of bacon and ran over to retrieve my boots.

These were only a few of my cheaper clothes. I had worn them just because I would have to be doing a lot of running around today. Today was the one day of the year that I did whatever Four wanted me to do. Eric had once asked me to do the files - just as I had done during my own initiation - but I had laughed him off and ordered him to get Jason to do them. I grabbed my boots and nearly fell over a few times while I tried to put them on.

"Why don't you just move all of your things in here?" Eric asked.

I didn't bother answering him at first. I ran into the bathroom and popped my toothbrush into my mouth. I ran it back and forth for a few moments before walking back out into the living room. "What?" I asked.

"Why don't you just move your things in here?" Eric repeated.

"Are you asking me to move in?" I asked through a foamy mouth.

Eric shrugged his shoulders. "I've asked you before and you always say no," he said.

It was the truth. Eric had started asking me to move in a few months ago. "There's a reason why," I said pointedly.

"There's no point in you not moving in here. Half of your things are already in here. You spend almost all of your nights here. You've spent less than a month in your own room since moving into your own apartment," Eric argued.

He wasn't wrong about that. My own apartment looked like one of the staged ones that we used to allow people from other Factions to stay and spend the night. There was almost nothing in there and it looked like it hadn't even been lived in. Most of the nights that I spent in my own apartment were because Eric or I would be working well into the night and wouldn't want to disturb each other when we came back. But like I had said, there was a good reason that I hadn't moved in.

"You're right. I should move in with you," I said.

"So do it."

"You know exactly how to get me to do that. Come on Eric, I've told you this one before."

I saw him shift uncomfortably on the couch. "We're not playing this game," he snarled.

"It's not a game. Three words... eight letters. Say them and I'll move in," I told him.

I spat out the toothpaste and wiped my mouth before grabbing a bottle of water. I noticed that Eric had stood from the couch. There was something strange in his eyes. It made me curious as to what he was looking at me for. Was he going to say it? He walked over to me and I smiled. His hands wrapped around my waist and one of his hands traveled up to brush my hair back. He moved in to kiss me but at the last moment turned to put his mouth beside my ear.

"I gotta go," he whispered.

I stood, dumbfounded, as he walked towards the door and propped it open. He gave me a wink as he went to leave the apartment. "Wrong combination!" I yelled after him.

But to his credit that was actually a pretty good comeback. I supposed that I couldn't have been expecting anything else from Eric. As angry as he made me sometimes, I wouldn't want him any other way. He laughed loudly and walked out, letting the door shut behind him. I had a spare key to his apartment so I would be able to lock up after him. Despite his words I laughed softly and pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. I fixed his sheets slightly before turning to walk out of his apartment.

My feet led me straight to the main area of Dauntless. I stopped by the dining room first, taking up some of the food that they had set out. I could tell that everyone was in a rush, trying to get ready for the new recruits to come in. We tried to make them comfortable without hiding ourselves. While I ate a few of my friends came over to speak with me. I had asked where Heather was almost immediately; Cole told me that she was still in his apartment. She was apparently trying to work up the energy to get over a hangover and come do her job.

Once I had finished with breakfast I went to go check on a few of my projects. I had stopped by Serena's work area first to make sure that she had the raid paperwork that we needed. Sometime next week we needed to go down into the Factionless areas. They had something boiling down there and we had to put a stop to it. Once I was done with that I checked on our weapons production and testing facility, I went to go check on the in-progress projects, and made sure that all of the first-year members knew what their jobs were.

Thankfully they had all been paying attention during the meeting that we'd had with Four a week prior. A loud bell rang as I made my way to the lower levels, where the net was. The initiates this year were getting ready to come in. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. They were almost here. As I walked in I saw that it was a similar set-up to last year and the year before. Four was standing at the net, waiting for someone to come through. Lauren was on the other side and a few other members were milling around. I went to stand next to Four.

He looked over and smiled at me. "Good morning," I greeted.

"It's almost one o'clock," Four pointed out.

"Whatever."

A moment later Heather came up to my side. "Morning," she greeted.

"Ready to see what we have to work with this year?" I asked the two.

Four smiled and shook his head. "They can't be any worse than the monsters that I had to train two years ago," he told us.

Funny," I snapped.

Heather and I both laughed loudly and shoved Four. We knew that he was just kidding. Although I could imagine that we had been rather nightmarish two years ago. Four didn't budge as the two of us took a step back. I could hear the shouting and laughter up on the roof. They had just jumped from the train. We waited as the voices came to near silence. I knew that Eric would be speaking to them all right now. And scaring them, more than likely.

"Do you think that there are going to be any Amity transfers this year?" I asked, after a beat of silence.

"No," Four immediately stepped in.

"Really?" Heather asked.

We both glanced up at him curiously. I wanted to know how he already knew that none of the transfers would be from Amity. "None of them are quite as stupid or suicidal as you are," Four added.

I couldn't help it. I laughed loudly. "Asshole," I muttered.

"There's no way that any Amity is following you into Dauntless," Heather put in.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"You set the bar too high."

The three of us all laughed and we looked up. The first one of them had to be coming down any second now. Eric didn't exactly like waiting for the first jumper to volunteer. He would only wait so long before I could imagine that he would throw one of the new initiates over himself. I could see a shadow standing on the edge of the roof. It looked like a girl. I could see a dress blowing in the breeze. That would mean that she was definitely a transfer. It made sense. Eric liked to watch the transfers go first. He had done the same thing during our initiation.

We all watched as she took a step off the edge of the building. She didn't yell but she did make a loud gasping noise as she fell. I watched as she hit the net and bounced heavily a few times before coming to a stop. My eyebrows immediately shot to my forehead. She was from Abnegation. The girl had dark blonde hair that reached about the same length that mine did. Her face was slightly rounded and she was very thin. She looked like she had no muscle on her. Poor thing had no clue what she had done.

Four looked about as surprised at our new addition as I was. He looked just as confused at the sight of her as he had been at the sight of me two years ago. It was different from last year when the first jumper had been a boy from Candor. The girl's brown eyes were looking around the room nervously. I watched as Four grabbed her unexpectedly and pulled her off of the net. She looked petrified but calmed slightly as she looked at him.

"What, you get pushed?" he asked her.

My eyebrows furrowed. That was what he had said to me when I jumped two years ago. "Oh, he just loves saying that. He said the same thing to me when I came down two years ago," I told Heather, leaning over to her.

"Did he?" Heather asked.

"Yeah."

"Shocking."

We both chuckled as the girl took a moment to collect herself, stepping back slightly from Four. "No," she said meekly.

It was hard to imagine that she was from the same place that Four was. They were so different. Heather leaned closer to me and I turned slightly to face her, not taking my eyes off of Four and the Abnegation girl. "I wonder if she mouthed off to Eric too," Heather said.

I let out a loud snort. Maybe one day she would, but certainly not on the first day. Not the way that I had. It was the only reason that Eric had ever looked twice at me. "Look at her," I snapped.

"Put on some clothes from Amity and the two of you might have been the same person," Heather said.

"With two very different personalities. Amity tend to be louder and more outgoing. Abnegation are soft-spoken and withdrawn. She didn't mouth off to Eric. For now she's still a Stiff. She'll grow it of it though," I said confidently.

In some odd way she reminded me of myself. She wasn't as bold or brash but she did remind me of myself. Unsure and the only person like me in a large group of people all like each other. "Already taking an initiate under your wing?" Heather asked, an amused tone in her voice.

"I'm thinking about it," I told her.

My focus went back to Four and the Abnegation girl. "What's your name?" he asked her.

"It's..." she said before trailing off.

Four was not being patient with her. Just the way that he always was. "Is that a hard one?" he snapped.

I watched in slight amusement as she took a step back from him. She was afraid of Four. "Poor girl," Heather muttered.

"You can pick a new one if you want, but make it good. You don't get to pick again," Four warned her, slightly softer this time.

"Okay..." she said, trailing off and thinking. I was glad whoever was behind her was taking forever. "My name's Tris."

She said it so quickly that it almost surprised me. It must have been something that had come to her, just the way that Alex had once come to me. Just then it hit me. Tris... Abnegation... Transfer... Beatrice. This was Beatrice Prior. Even though I'd seen her not that long ago, she looked much different. When I had thought that she would defer I had thought that it would be to Erudite or Candor or something. Not Dauntless. But I was glad to see her here. Four's voice cut off my thoughts.

"First jumper, Tris!" he shouted.

People all began to cheer, Heather and I shouting loudly for the girl. She turned to me and jumped slightly. I gave her a small wink, to which she laughed. "Go, Tris!" I shouted.

"Welcome to Dauntless," Four told her with a strange look.

I walked over to him as Tris went to stand a couple of feet back from us. She was just far enough away that she wouldn't be able to hear us if we spoke. "Be careful, Four," I warned.

He stood and stared at me curiously, clearly wondering what I meant. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"No relationships with the initiates," I told him in a sing-songy voice.

Four snorted and shoved me roughly. I responded by grabbing his hand and twisting roughly. Four responded with a heavy kick to my shin. I cried out softly and dropped. I would have fallen had he not been holding onto me. We both smiled at each other and I noticed that Tris was watching with us in between looking concerned and amused. My concentration on Four was broken when I heard a boy screaming loudly as he fell to the net. He let out a loud grunt when he hit the net and was pulled off. His name was Peter.

"He looks like Colt," I whispered under my breath to Heather.

She growled in the back of her throat. He did look a little bit like Colt, only Peter had dark hair while Colt's was blonde. We watched as one by one the rest of the transfers and Dauntless born fell. The only one that I already knew was Uriah, Zeke's brother. I shouted as loudly as I could when he fell. I had seen most of the Dauntless born kids before but Zeke was the only one that I had actually spoken to before. I picked out the transfers, sorting them all away in my mind.

There was Christina, who had jumped third, a Candor transfer. She seemed to already be friends with Tris. I smiled. They reminded me of Heather and myself. Will was an Erudite. He seemed nice enough. Al was another Candor. I did not like him. Something seemed off. Molly, an ex-Candor, seemed to be a carbon-copy of Jade. However even Jade was at least pretty. Molly had nothing going for her. Drew, another ex-Candor, reminded me of Hunter. Although, unlike Hunter, Drew had a mouth on him. Edward was an extremely promising-looking ex-Erudite. His girlfriend Myra was much less impressive.

Overall the group was less than spectacular. I had seen much better initiates. I was slightly biased, but I knew that my group was stronger two years ago. Even the initiates last year had been better. These kids were almost laughable. Of course I wasn't in the position to be judging just yet. They might surprise me. But that wasn't likely. I rarely found myself surprised these days.

Four's voice shattered my thoughts. "Dauntless-born, go with Lauren, transfers stay with me. Go," Four snapped when no one made to move.

As Zeke passed me he sent me a little wink. "Good luck!" I called after him.

"Thanks, Amity!"

I giggled under my breath and turned to see Lauren passing by me. She wasn't a leader but we did spend a lot of time together. "This way," Lauren called.

The Dauntless born followed her past the group of transfers. "Even the new Dauntless know you as Amity," Heather teased.

"I suppose I can thank Eric for that," I muttered.

"Hey, Alex. Heather," Lauren chirped at us as she walked by.

"Hi, Lauren," I greeted.

Heather said her own hello and watched as she walked them out of the main area. I assumed that she was going to bring them straight to the dorms. Not that they all really stayed in the dorms. With the exception of the period when we played War Games most of the Dauntless born stayed in their original homes. It was one of the many ways that they lucked out. I was still trying to think of a way to make Dauntless training a little more fair.

"Most of the time I work in Intelligence, but during your training, I'll be your instructor. My name's Four."

Four seemed to be about ready to introduce Heather and I when a Candor girl spoke up. "Four like the number?" she asked.

She was definitely small. She had deeply tanned skin with short, dark hair. She was the one that I had seen Tris with earlier. Other than Tris herself, the girl was probably the smallest of the transfers. The girls seemed so different. The girl, Christina, had said exactly the same thing that Heather had said two years ago. Thankfully other than a few snickers, no one had actually said anything last year.

"Exactly like the number," Four snarled.

Christina was very much like Heather. I had a feeling that the two girls would get along well. "What happened, one through three were taken?" Christina asked with a laugh.

"Oh look, it's you!" I chirped to Heather.

"Except I know what I'm doing," Heather replied.

"Sometimes," I shot back.

She turned to look at me and stomped down on my toe. Thankfully the boots that I was wearing were combat-ready. They had steel covers over the toes. Somehow her foot still hurt me a little bit. A few beats went by as Four walked up to the girl. I saw her shrink back slightly from him. At least Heather was tall. She was only about five inches shorter than Four. Christina, like me, was nearly a foot shorter than him.

"What's your name?" Four asked her.

I rolled my eyes. He was making a show of this just like he had two years ago. He knew her name. He had just asked her a few minutes ago. "Christina," she answered him.

He nodded at her and shifted. "Well, Christina. The first lesson you learn from me if you wanna survive here, is keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me?" he asked her.

It was not a question. It was a demand. I knew the difference. Especially when it came to Four. "Yes," Christina squeaked softly.

Tris looked concerned for her new friend. Four's face turned up in something akin to a pleased smile. "Good. Follow me," Four snapped.

That was enough to silence their little group. No one was expecting Dauntless to be tough right off of the bat, but we were. He walked past the group to pass by Heather and me. He threw an arm over my shoulder and I turned back long enough to see Tris look away with a slightly disappointed stare. Oh, yeah. I was gonna have fun with those two.

"Every damn year I get carbon copies of the two of you," Four told us.

We both laughed loudly and shook our heads. I knew that the kids behind us were trying to listen to our conversation. It didn't matter. We were being quiet enough so that they couldn't hear. "Come on, Four, you could never get someone quite like us. And don't pretend that you don't love us! We make your boring, pathetic life so much better," I told him brightly.

Even Heather snorted at my words. "You give me headache," Four said.

"Likewise," I shot back.

"And that's not totally fair. She's the nightmare," Heather told Four, pointing to me.

"I thought we were on the same side!" I barked.

"And you got me shot," Four added, pulling down his sleeve slightly.

It showed a scar similar to the one that I had on my stomach. "One time!" I shouted slightly louder than I had meant to. "And need I remind you that I got shot too. Hey, I died." Both Heather and Four flinched slightly at the reminder. Eric was the same way. He refused to even talk about that day. "You just got shot in the shoulder."

My teasing did not go over well. "Please don't remind me of that day. I saw you in there. Bloody and dead," Four said softly.

My body gave a soft shiver. I didn't know what I had looked like lying there on that table but I assumed that it wasn't a pretty sight. "I second that. Let's not talk about that day," Heather muttered.

"So who exactly are you two?" another voice called out.

We all turned back to see who was speaking to us. It was one of the transfers. I turned back to see that it was Peter, the transfer from Erudite. I stared at him curiously. He reminded me painfully of a less dangerous Colt. I didn't like the lingering look that he gave me. I didn't really like him at all. I had a feeling that I wouldn't like him much throughout initiation. Heather took my silence as a sign to speak up.

"My name is Heather. I'm one of the Ambassador's here in Dauntless. I work with inter-Faction relations. I make sure that the Factions are all able to communicate with each other effectively. To keep everything here in Chicago running smoothly," she told them.

I nodded at her with a little smile. "And what about you?" Peter asked me.

He was moving towards me with a raised eyebrow. "I'm out and about," I answered carelessly.

"What does that mean?" another initiate, Drew I thought, asked.

""It means that she doesn't do anything," a girl, Molly, said.

My eyes rolled so far back that I was sure that I could see my brain. I could feel that Four wanted to step in to tell Peter and Molly to back off but I placed my open palm against his thigh to stop him. I would handle this on my own. It wasn't a problem. Silly little boys and girls like them were never a problem. We just had to quickly squash the behavior.

"Do you run a shop? Do hair? Maybe you make coffee," Peter teased.

His lackeys, Drew and Molly, both laughed. No one else looked amused. Everyone simply stared at me in curiosity. Probably wondering what I was going to do. I noticed that Tris was sending the three of them an annoyed glare. She was from Abnegation. She didn't enjoy watching people be cruel like that to each other. I stepped forward and gave a sugary smile at the trio.

"What are your names?" I asked them.

Unsurprisingly it was Peter that spoke up first. "Peter," he said as he motioned to himself. "Molly." He motioned to the girl. She had chopped brown hair that hung limply around her shoulders. It wasn't exactly anything impressive. She had broad shoulders and a large stature. It didn't make her pretty but she would be strong. "Drew." Drew had bright orange hair and looked almost like he was in pain. They were a curious group.

"Tell me, Peter," I said, accentuating every syllable in his name, "Do you know the name Alex?"

I knew that he would know me. Everyone knew the name all over Chicago. I was relatively certain that they taught the kids about me in school. They all knew what she had done. I was curious if he knew what she looked like. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Eric walking into the side of the Pit with Cameron at his side. They walked up to Four's other side and the three men watched in curiosity. Peter looked nervous. By now both Drew and Molly had backed away.

"Yeah. Everyone knows her. She's the Amity transfer that ended up as a Divergent. She killed Jeanine Matthews because she was trying to start a war. She's a leader here. She's responsible for most of the changes that have happened here in the City," he told me, almost automatically.

"That's right," I said, nodding slowly at him and taking another step forward. Peter didn't back away but I knew that he was nervous. Everyone else was watching me happily. "What do you think about her?"

Peter's Adam's Apple bobbed in his throat. "She caused a whole lot of trouble. I'm from Erudite. She nearly collapsed the whole system -"

"Recreated," Heather interrupted.

Peter sent her an irritated glance. "She's insane. She destroyed most of what Jeanine worked for during her life. Jeanine was a bitch but at least she wasn't nuts. Not like Alex was. Is. She's Divergent. I don't know why they even let her roam free in this place," Peter said.

With each of his words his confidence had gained slightly. "And what do you think about me?" I asked Peter after a pregnant pause.

"You're just some Dauntless girl that likes to pretend that she's tough. But she really isn't. I've met girls like you. You probably just made it through initiation by the skin of your teeth. I can't believe that you're actually here welcoming us. Although you are a welcome sight," he told me, giving me a once over.

Now there were a number of people gathered around to watch. Everyone enjoyed watching the new initiates get their asses handed to them. There was always one that mouthed off. I had been the one person that had done it in my own year. Even from here I could feel Eric's jaws grinding together and his entire body tightening. He was watching from a few feet back. I knew that he wanted to attack Peter, but I was already on it.

"I think one thing that you ought to know about me, Peter, is that I was a transfer. Just like you. I'm from Amity. Two years ago. My name there was Amarantha Freesia. My name here is Alex. I am a Divergent. I am a leader. And I took great pleasure in bringing down Jeanine Matthews. If you think that it was easy for me to kill her, because I'm insane, just imagine how easy it will be for me to hurt you," I told him scathingly.

It looked like Peter wanted to say something, but I never gave him the chance. I pulled back my fist before sending it into his eye. I felt his jaw crack and possibly dislocate for a minute. Peter's head snapped back and he looked like he might collapse. He staggered back and I watched as Drew and Molly caught him. They helped him stand back upright. Most of the initiates, and Dauntless members that were standing around, were laughing. The only one that wasn't was Tris. She was simply staring at me in shock.

"Now listen to me! All of you! Dauntless is not the place for you if you're going to act like this. We accept and encourage bravery, not stupidity. Not brashness. You will end up like Peter. You aren't the first initiate to speak out of line. You won't be the last. But I promise that if you do this again you will end up in the Factionless district. I am your leader. As is Eric. Four is your instructor. You will treat us with the respect that we've earned. If you do not, this was only a little taste of what I can do. After all... I'm insane."

There was nothing more to say after that. As I walked by Eric gave me a wink and I laughed. "You should have hit him harder," he said.

"He's going to have a hard enough time to get a date. If I hit him any harder I would have broken his nose and that would have been a tragedy," I said, smiling at Eric.

"If he keeps looking at you, I'm going to break his ribs," Eric growled.

Turning back I noticed that Peter was giving me a long look. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Eric, bringing him into a long kiss. "You're cute when you're jealous," I teased.

"Go do your damn job," Eric snapped.

"You know, technically I'm your boss," I reasoned.

Eric smirked at me. "We can wrestle and see who wins?" he offered.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"I would."

He was giving me a very suggestive smirk. "Alex! Get over here!" Heather shouted.

They were trying to continue with the tour. "See you at dinner," I told Eric, walking off.

Four motioned for the rest of the initiates to walk with him. I noticed that Peter was still staggering from the hit. We walked into the Pit, which was buzzing with life, just as usual. "This is The Pit. The center of life here at Dauntless," Four said.

Everyone was cheering and laughing as we made our way out and to the dorms. We stopped at the Chasm so that the initiates could see it and take a good look, hearing the same speech that Four gave every year. I noticed that neither Tris nor Christina seemed fond of the place. Heather and I let out a little scoff as we moved on and entered the dorms. Neither one of us had ever been fond of this place. It looked no different than it had two years ago.

"You're gonna be sleeping here for the next five months," Four told them.

"Girls or boys?" Christina asked.

"Both," Four answered.

The room went dead silent as everyone processed the information. "Nice," I heard Molly say. I turned back to her and glared deeply. She backed off a few feet from me.

"That works," Peter added.

He had gotten over the incident in the Pit. Although he had a bruise forming on his cheeks. "If you like this, you're gonna love the bathroom," Four told Peter with a joking smile.

"Great," Christina said softly.

The others started walking around the room. They were all clearly disgusted by the place. Not that I blamed them. "Okay..." Will trailed off.

"Seriously?" Christina asked as she paced around the beds, poking at the one that Heather had used two years ago.

Al, I was pretty sure it was, was the next to speak up. "Is there no other area?" he asked. Will led Christina over to the bed that had once been Cole's.

I watched as Tris took the bed that had been mine. I couldn't help but to smile slightly. "Are you kidding?" Christina asked Four, Heather, and I.

Heather and I both nodded. "Welcome home," I said teasingly.

If we had been forced to go through this, so would they. Every single one of us had been forced to go through this. Four walked over to Christina and towered over her. "You should feel right at home, Candor. Everything out in the open," he teased.

The ex-Candor looked in between hitting him and throwing up. She knew that she was going to have a hard time here. "Is this a joke?" Al asked.

Four seemed to finally have grown tired of the game of laughing at the new initiates. He turned to them with a stern face. "Get changed," he snapped before motioning Heather and I out of the room.

"Right," Will said slowly. I could tell that he didn't quite believe what they were going to be living in. "Shower, anyone?"

It was the same joke that at least one initiate tried every year. Not that it ever worked. We all scoffed at him as Four, Heather, and I made our way out of the room to wait for them on the other side of the doors to take them to dinner and burn their clothes. The door slid shut behind us and we all stared at the door in disbelief. It certainly was not an overly impressive grouping that we had this year. Although maybe there was a chance that Heather and Four saw something that I didn't.

"So what do you guys think?" I asked them.

Four and Heather both snorted. I was glad that I wasn't the only one that knew these initiates wouldn't be good. "They'll be even worse than your class," Four told us.

"Hey!" Heather and I shouted.

Four smirked as we both sent him little smacks to the arms and stomach. He laughed at our futile attempts to injure him. "You're such an ass," I snapped at Four.

"And not wrong," Four pointed out.

"I don't know, some of them look like they might be able to show a little bit of promise," I said softly.

Both Heather and Four were looking at me like I was insane. "Like who?" Heather asked.

Honestly there could have been some potential with the new initiates. They didn't all look pathetic. "Christina doesn't look hopeless. Will looks like he might be able to fight. Peter and Drew are pathetic but they could be strong. Edward definitely looks like he could work," I said.

We were all silent as we thought about the potential in the new initiates. "And how many of those words did you really just believe?" Four asked.

"I'm serious about Edward," I said.

"And the girl he came with?" Four asked.

"Myra," Heather offered.

"There was a reason that I didn't mention her," I barked.

We all laughed loudly as the door screeched open and the new initiates began to pour out. The three of us continued to chuckle as we watched them leave. They had no idea that we really thought that they were going to be pathetic. They probably would be for the first few weeks at least. The transfers were all wearing the same clothes that I had worn when I had first gotten here. Just like we had two years ago they were all carrying their old clothing.

Four marched them into the fire pit and I watched as once more they burned their clothing. They all watched curiously. It seemed that Tris and Al were having the hardest time letting go. I gave them both a reassuring nod. It got easier, they just had to wait. Heather headed off to sit with Cole as we arrived at dinner and I waved her off. Most nights we all sat together but there were two nights a week that we all sat with our significant others or fellow friends. We would sit together on Friday's and as a large group we would find another night to sit together.

It was always nice for us to get a chance to sit together. But we had each made new friends in the respective fields that we worked in. It was kind of nice that everyone was making new friends. Not that it mattered. No matter how many friends that we made as we continued our lives here in Dauntless, we all knew that we would still be best friends. I stopped to talk to Zeke and Uriah - asking how Zeke's first day in Dauntless had been as an independent - before moving on to go get my breakfast. I hadn't eaten much today and I was starving by now.

Tonight was one of the nights that we all went to spend with our fellow friends. Tonight I would sit with Four as we listened to the new recruits figure out their first night here in Dauntless. It was a good chance to see what they were like when they thought that no one else was listening in. We walked into the dining room and I watched from the corner as they all picked up food. I knew that Tris would have a hard time. Like Amity, they didn't eat meat. She was looking at her burger in horror.

I felt something came up beside me and I stared at it. Eric. He was staring at the new initiates like they were poison. "You look happy," I teased.

"Pathetic," he snarled.

I looked at him with a quirked eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

"The new transfers. I didn't think I could see anything more depressing than watching you come in here like a fucking flower."

My eyebrow quirked as I stole a fry off of his plate. He stared down at me and the corner of his mouth quirked up. "Thanks. You really do know how to turn a girl on," I teased.

He took a step towards me and let his body press against mine. I placed my tray on the counter behind me. "You'll come back tonight. You always do," he told me.

"Shows my brilliant decision making."

"We all know that you make poor choices," Eric said.

"Are you counting yourself?" I asked.

He gave me a long look and I smiled. One day he was going to tell me those three little words. I knew that he would, but he would hold it off for as long as possible. I smirked and rolled my eyes as he pulled me in for a kiss. Our lips pressed together and Eric placed a hand on the bottom of my back and pulled me in tightly. I heard a chorus of disgusted noises and gagging. I turned back to see that my friends were all making funny faces at Eric and me. I laughed softly and rolled my eyes, leaning onto Eric's chest.

"I'll see you later. Come by after they celebrate the new arrivals," he said.

"Okay."

We shared another quick kiss as we walked out to the tables where everyone was sitting. Unlike I had on my first day they were sitting at a table near the edge of the dining room. I smiled at the fact that our classes were so different. Four was at the edge of the table and I walked over, chirping hello's to my friends and laughing as Mariah threw her cup of water in Buck's face. I had to stop for a moment to prevent dropping my tray. Once we had all sat together and talked for a while, cleaning Buck up in the process, I headed over to Four.

No one was with him and I frowned. Normally he had plenty of friends with him. I guess no one wanted to have to sit with the new transfers. Not until one of them became interesting. It normally took them a little while to get interesting. Things would change after the first of the fights and once the initiates started to physically change. It would help once they started to get to know the Dauntless born and some of the members. War Games would help too.

"What did he say to her?" Four asked, referring to Buck and Mariah.

"He says nothing."

"And you say?"

"Judging by the look on her face, probably something along the lines of offering her another place to stay the night," I said, snorting under my breath.

Even the corner of Four's lips tilted upwards. "When will he give up?" Four asked.

"Probably never. So how are we enjoying the conversation of the new transfers?" I asked Four as I took a seat.

Peter turned to look at me and I saw him scowl before turning back to his food and returning to his conversation. "They're worse than you were," Four said, picking at his burger.

I laughed and stole the bottle of water off of his tray. He glared at me but didn't make a move to get it back. "Hey, I resent that!" I shouted.

Over the screams in the dining room I couldn't be heard. "You shouldn't," Four muttered.

"No one can be worse than I was. After all, I got you shot," I teased him.

Four rolled his eyes at me before turning to the transfers. I'd heard them all talking about their old Factions. It was just the way that we had been. There was just something about talking about your old Faction on the day that you Chose that made you a little happier. It was knowing that they were all in the same boat. They would get over their homes soon enough. I knew that Four didn't want them talking about their old homes. We had gotten chewed out on our first day for it. Four broke off our conversation to snap at the transfers.

"I don't want to hear about your old Factions. You're Dauntless now," he growled.

"Four, try and pretend that you can be nice," I whispered.

He ignored me. We could just barely hear him over the noise. It didn't matter that his voice was so low. It had scared them all. I could tell that they were all terrified of him. Tris especially. They began to awkwardly shift around in their seats. I almost felt a little bit bad for them. They were an underwhelming group already and I knew that Four was only making things worse. He could definitely be a little scary when he wanted to.

"Were you a transfer, too? Or Dauntless-born?" Tris asked, surprising me. I had thought that she would be silent. She didn't seem like much of a talker.

It seemed that Four shared my thoughts. "Are you kidding?" Four snarled at her.

She looked surprised at his actions. "No."

She was sitting next to him and he shifted so that he was facing her. They were close to each other and I smirked. They would be so cute together. I'd have them together by Christmas. I wondered if that was what people had once thought about Eric and me. Some of them had said that we would be a funny couple before we had actually gotten together. Four's voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"What makes you think you can talk to me?" Four asked her.

Tris's answer nearly made me fall out of the back of my chair. "It... must be because you're so approachable," Tris told Four.

A loud snort escaped my mouth and I covered it with my hand. Four stared at her and I noticed a few people's jaw dropped. No one spoke to Four that way other than me. Just the way that no one had spoken to Eric that way other than me. Christina scoffed as we all stared at each other, curious who was going to speak next. Four stood from the table and I watched them stare down each other. He stood from the table and I watched as Tris shrunk away. She wasn't a large person, just a few inches taller than me.

"Careful," Four snapped at her before picking up his tray and walking away.

"Don't worry about him. He warms up to you, whether or not he wants to," I told Tris softly.

She awkwardly smiled at me. I gave Tris a tiny smile before standing up and running after Four. He was muttering under his breath. "Honestly, Four?" I asked.

"What?"

"That was really smooth. You know most guys, when they think a girl is attractive, they give her a compliment or try to make her laugh. I don't know what it is about you and Eric. For some reason you guys think that threatening a girl is the way to her heart," I told him.

Something about Tris really got to Four. His jaws tightened as he thread ed his fingers together. "I am not attracted to her," he snapped.

He sounded like he was so desperately trying to convince himself that he wasn't. "Sure you're not," I muttered.

"I'm not."

"So you've said."

"She's an Abnegation. And an initiate," Four reasoned.

My lips quirked slightly. "So was I," I told him softly.

I wasn't an Abnegation but he knew what I was talking about. I was from a considered weak Faction and I had been an initiate when Eric and I had gotten together. Four looked like he was about to say something when the alarms started blaring. I heard a few shrieks from the transfers and I laughed. Four actually joined in on the laughter. Cups started clattering as people banged them against the tables and we all waited for it. Eric took a step up to the edge of the Wolf's Den, silencing the crowd.

"Initiates, stand," he ordered.

It wasn't a hesitant as when Max had been the leader. No one wanted to disobey Eric. "Five points says one of them gets dropped on me," I muttered to Four.

"I'm not making you that bet. You'll win."

We both smiled as Eric continued to speak. "You have chosen to join the warrior Faction tasked with the defense of this city and all its inhabitants. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery and the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. Respect that. Do us proud," Eric said softly, but with an authoritative voice.

Cheering broke out in the dining room and I laughed as everyone else stood, moving to grab the initiates. They all looked freaked out for a moment as the members started to pick them up. I couldn't help but to smile. It was fun to watch them do what I had once loved so much. I looked up back towards the Wolf's Den and smiled when I saw that Eric was giving me a deep stare. I knew what it meant. He was telling me that it was time to go back to his apartment. I laughed and nodded.

Four had already passed by me but my friends were all at a table, waiting to see if I would join them. They were sitting away from the initiates. I had a feeling that they didn't really want to be involved in the festivities. We were all busy and nights like these we were all tired. As much as I loved them I knew that I would have time to see them later. So I smiled at them and waved. I saw that Heather and Cole were already leaving too. I couldn't help but to laugh. We were all so similar.

"Hey, I'm heading out. Goodnight!" I yelled to them.

They all stood and waved me off. Buck and Draven both threw arms over my shoulders before nudging me off. "Goodnight!" they all shouted.

Heather and Lisa blew me kisses as Serena tossed a wink in my direction. "Tell Eric we said hi," Serena teased.

"I'm sure he says it back," I said, making her laugh.

Exchanging a few hugs with the rest of my friends - who all seemed to be finding something to keep themselves occupied for the night - I headed towards Eric's apartment. My feet carried me out of the dining room towards the edge of the hallway with the member apartments. I was ready to head through the Chasm into the upper levels when something heavy hit me in the back. I turned around to throw a punch at whoever hit me when I saw that it was Tris. Someone had dropped her. I grabbed her before she could fall to the ground.

"Tris, you alright?" I asked her.

She straightened up and brushed some of her dark blonde hair that had fallen out of the ponytail out of her face. "Yeah. Thanks for catching me," she said.

"You're welcome."

"Sorry about that."

She looked very embarrassed so I smiled at her. "That's alright. I was yanked out of the arms of the members when I was an initiate," I explained.

"At least yours wasn't an accident. I thought that they had a better grip on me," Tris said.

I smiled at her and nodded, leading her over to the edge of the Pit. "Lesson number one here in Dauntless. Never trust anyone to catch you from a fall. It'll help in the long-run," I promised.

"That sounds foreboding," Tris said, making me smile.

She had a good sense of humor. "It is. Just remember that. Lesson number two, if you do trust someone, trust a girl friend. Boys come and go. Girls stay forever," I told her with a smile.

She nodded at me and a soft blush filled her face. Abnegation didn't like any type of attention. In a relationship or even just as a friendship. "Thanks," Tris said.

"You're welcome."

I watched as her eyes traced every line and crevice in the Pit. "This place, it's incredible," she said softly.

I nodded at her and grinned. "I know. I thought so too when I came here for the first time. Amity is gorgeous but it's in the natural way. Dauntless is so intense," I said, glancing around.

"I've seen Amity. It's so pretty."

"It is. I know that it seems overwhelming right now but it will get better. Easier. With time," I told her.

A little breath escaped her and I noticed that she relaxed slightly. I knew that she was just nervous with this being her first day in Dauntless. "Doesn't seem like it," Tris laughed.

"I know. The first few days and even weeks are killer. But suddenly one day you realize that you're stronger. You're not so weak and suddenly things are easier. It'll come. Just don't give up," I said.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"What do you think of the people here?" I asked her after a beat of silence.

She was taking a moment to think of something to say. She didn't want to offend me. It was cute. "They're... scary," she finally admitted.

For a moment she must have thought that she had offended me. I stared at her for a second, wondering if she had really just said what I'd thought that she had. I had to say that I was impressed. She spoke more than the average Abnegation. We both laughed at her words after a minute. She wasn't wrong about the people in Dauntless being scary. Everyone was scary here. I probably was too. At least to people that weren't from Dauntless.

"Yeah. They are. I was somewhere in between amazed and terrified when I first got here. Of course I mouthed off to Eric my first day here and got a great punishment of making files all night long. Had to spar with him, got thrown off the Chasm by him... We had all sorts of fun punishments together," I told her.

Her eyes widened to the point where I thought that they were going to pop out of her eye sockets. It almost made me laugh. I would have laughed but I didn't want to embarrass her. Plus there was the fact that I knew that it didn't sound good. Especially not to those who hadn't been around to see Eric and my relationship grow and progress.

"Aren't you dating Eric?" Tris asked me carefully.

"I am," I told her.

She looked even more freaked out when she realized that we really were dating. "Oh..." she muttered.

"Trust me, he's not as bad as he seems. Just a little rough around the edges. Although I think he's a little too rough for most people. They aren't all so bad. Four is like Eric, but much calmer," I told her, gently prodding.

Just like I had expected a light blush filled Tris's face. Abnegation's were so easy. All you had to do was tell them something about someone that they had a thing for. "There isn't anything between you and Four?" She asked softly. She was so cute. "You guys seemed close earlier."

The insinuation made me slightly sick to my stomach. I loved Four but that was disgusting. "No!" I shouted.

Tris seemed slightly relieved. "Sorry," she said quickly.

"Don't apologize. Four is a wonderful guy, don't get me wrong. He deserves a good girl but that isn't me. He's basically like my brother. I consider him a brother," I told her.

"That's nice," she said.

It was obvious that she had grown up in Abnegation. She wasn't going to tell me anything that wasn't selfless. She wasn't going to admit that she thought that Four was attractive or whatever it was that she thought. I just knew what she meant. She was glad that he was single. She didn't know Four but he was definitely a looker. We all knew that. Before I wanted to take my leave I decided to say one last thing to her.

"Hey, Tris. I know that getting used to Dauntless is a hard go. Especially for someone that's either from Amity or Abnegation. So if you ever need some help, I'm here. I'll be around for most of your training. I came in top ranking so I'm sure that I'll be able to help in some way," I told her.

She smiled softly. Even by looking at her I could tell that she wouldn't be strong. She would have to be a defensive fighter. She wasn't strong enough to be offensive. "Thanks, Alex," she said.

"You're welcome."

"Seriously, that means a lot. I think I'll take you up on that. I can only imagine how hard things are going to get," she said.

"Extremely," I told her honestly.

"Sure you weren't a Candor?"

"In some ways," I joked.

She laughed. "Right. Divergent. I almost forgot," she said.

"Lately I do too. It's all well worth it in the end. Try to get a good night's sleep. I know that it's hard, the first night away from home. But you'll figure it out. Have a good night, Tris. I'll see you around," I told her, before turning away.

Even from here I could feel her smiling at me. "Goodnight, Alex," she called back.

Walking away from her I decided that it was high time that I met Eric back at his apartment. He had probably already been there for a few minutes. As I walked through the halls I said my hello's and goodnight's to people that I knew well. They were all my friends now. It seemed like the people that I had once barely been able to speak to were my family. They weren't all the smartest or the nicest, but they were the family that I had. They were the family that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Coming down the overly familiar hallway I pushed into Eric's apartment and smiled at him. He was leaned up against the counter with a whiskey glass in his hands. As I walked up to him he handed it to me. I took it and downed it quickly. Once it was empty I placed it back on the counter and I moved to kiss him. He tasted like alcohol that I was sure meant that he had been drinking with his friends all night long.

He walked me back so that I was pressed against the counter. His hands were tight on my waist and I smiled at him. "Someone's in a better mood," I teased.

"Now that you're here."

It made a small smile cross over my lips as he brought me into another kiss. After a moment he broke away from the kiss and stared at me. "What -" I started to ask him when I was cut off.

"I love you."

My jaw dropped and my knees buckled slightly. His hands were tight around my arms. He'd probably known that his words would stun me. If he'd really said that. Maybe I was hallucinating. Maybe I'd drank too much and I was really just hearing things. He was not serious. He couldn't be serious. There was no way that he had just said that. He didn't mean it. He never would. I had convinced myself that it was okay. That it would always be okay. I didn't mind that he wasn't in love with me.

"What did you just say?" I asked him.

He smirked and pushed me back so that I stumbled. I fell over the edge of the bed and laughed as he leaned over me. "Three words, eight letters," he repeated my words from earlier.

My cheeks had lit up a brilliant, and certainly embarrassing, red. I couldn't believe that he had really said it. I'd had a feeling for a long time that he loved me but I hadn't wanted to push him too much to say it. I hadn't wanted to make him too uncomfortable. But now he really said it. Unfortunately suddenly a harsh thought hit me. Did he mean it? I had to know. I had to know that it was more than something he had said just to get me to move in with him.

"Do you mean it?" I asked him.

He stared at me for a moment before nodding. He lowered himself so that his lips briefly traveled over my neck. "I do. You know me," Eric muttered.

"I do."

"Do you think that I would say it if I didn't mean it?" he asked.

"No," I said immediately.

Those few words had probably taken him a number of months to work up the courage to say. I knew that it had taken everything in him to say those three words. Honestly I hadn't thought that he would ever say it. Not for a long time. I knew that he wanted me to move in but I also knew that he wouldn't say it if he really didn't mean it. Eric wasn't that type of guy. It was hard enough for him to say it once. I wanted to see if I could push it just a little bit.

"Say it again," I said softly.

He smirked at me and pressed his hips into mine. "I love you," he repeated, pulling my torso up to take my shirt off and toss it into an open drawer.

"You knew that I would just move in?" I asked him with a soft chuckle.

"That was the one thing that you told me that I had to do. And I said it. And I meant it," Eric said softly as he nuzzled into my neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there. I let out a little gasp.

"Will you say it again?" I asked.

"Don't push it," Eric warned. I smiled at him. "I'll always mean it. Initiate."

A loud and rather unattractive laugh escaped my mouth. After a beat I forced Eric's face to look at me. "I love you too," I said softly.

"I know," he said.

It made me laugh again. I'd known for a long time that he knew how I felt about him. I'd just always refused to voice it until the time came that he admitted it to me himself. Eric gave me a sideways smile before moving in for another kiss. I slipped my hands underneath his shirt to pry it from his body. He moved his hands to tangle in my hair and move our mouths together. Eric looped his hands in my belt loops and made me laugh as he tugged me down towards him. A few minutes went by before we came up for air.

"You said it. Now show me," I whispered.

"Now that's not a problem," he said darkly. It made me laugh as he flipped us over into the middle of the bed and went to tugging at my pants to pop the button open.

Eric was not the type of guy that I'd ever thought that I would end up. He was the type of guy that would give my parents a heart attack if they knew what he was really like. My friends were all absolutely insane. My family and oldest friends were barely in my life anymore. But that didn't mean that I didn't love them. I did. I loved them all. My parents, Iris, Florian, Heather, Buck, Draven, Dante, Cole, Lisa, Serena, Aaron, Greg, Jackson, Jet, Jax, Four, Zeke, and Cameron. They weren't even them all. I loved everyone here in Dauntless. I loved my parents. I loved the people that I had come to care for in the other Factions.

My life in Dauntless was not what I thought that it would be but it wasn't a life that I would change for anything else. Sure, there were bottles of empty alcohol laying around the room, the underside of Eric's bed seemed to eat all of my clothes, and we fought like we actually might kill each other. But none of that mattered. This was the life that I wanted and it was perfect. For me.

And as Eric rolled me over in his - our - bed so that I was on top of his hips I smirked. My hands went down to the button on his pants and I smiled into the kiss. His teeth gently grazed over my lips and I shivered. I just realized that his balcony was open. The cool air was making me shiver slightly but it felt good against my overheated skin. Eric chuckled into my mouth as I let him tug my pants down and get them caught around my ankles. He grabbed them before reaching around me and yanking them roughly off of my frame.

The clothing was now bunched together in his hands and I watched as he tossed them across the room. It made me snort under my breath. Like the shirt, they landed in the drawer that Eric had cleared out for me. A small blush fell over my face. Even as my lips caught against Eric's again, I couldn't believe that I was actually going to move in with him. His shirt was pushed onto the floor as Eric flipped me over again. I was underneath him and I laughed softly. His chest was pressed against mine and I let my legs wrap around his waist.

His hips ground down into mine and I groaned at the feeling of him pressing against me. His entire body was like stone against mine as Eric dug his fingertips into my skin. I hissed in excitement, knowing that he wanted me to finish undressing us both. I fiddled with the button on his pants and finally popped them open. I went to shove them down over his hips but he grabbed me to stop. I looked up at him curiously, wondering what he had stopped me for. We always rushed it, neither one of us able to slow down the discarding of clothes.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He brought up his face to push it into the sensitive spots on my neck. I groaned softly at the light pressure. "You said you wanted me to prove it to you. Let me," he growled.

Even though it was sweet and should have made me melt, it was Eric. His words always sounded rough. The way that he spoke made my eyes roll back into my head slightly. His voice did things to me that other people couldn't have done with their entire body. Maybe it was the reason that we worked together so well. It didn't matter, I just knew that we belonged together. Instead of making my heart warm, it made my toes curl and spine straighten.

Knowing that he wanted an answer, I nodded my approval at him and laid flat against the bed. He pulled off the undershirt that I had been wearing and I laughed as it revealed the bruise from my fight with him the other day. He had tossed me a little too hard during a sparring match and my stomach had gone straight into one of the stretching bars. It had left the nasty bruise and given Eric quite the laugh. That was, until his middle finger had been dislocated by yours truly. It had been rather funny that I was the only person to pop it back into place.

A soft breath escaped me as Eric traced his mouth down my torso. His tongue was slowly tracing every contour of my body, slowly driving me insane. He went through the valley of my chest, passing over the hook that was still done on my bra. He was sure not to actually disturb the placement of the fabric. His mouth made it to the edges of my bruise and I squirmed as he traced his tongue around it. The feeling was somewhere in between a soft pain and intense pleasure. It was just the way that Eric acted with me. I wouldn't have wanted him any other way.

And I knew that it meant that he could only be nice for so long. He would be slow for a limited amount of time before he wanted to speed things up. His hand came up to the edge of the bruise and I groaned in pain as he pressed down on it slightly. The pain slowly started to roll through my stomach. His movement earned him a nice knee to the chin. After we had both recovered I felt him hook his fingers into the waistband on my underwear. I lifted my hips so that he could pull them down my legs.

They were yanked down my legs almost immediately. His fingers were tight on my legs as he threw the offending underwear to the floor. Once they were clear of the bed I felt him start to trail kisses down my body. My eyes fluttered closed as my head tilted back towards the ceiling. His lips were soft over the bruise that covered the majority of my torso. His lips trailed softly over my thighs before they came back up to the apex of my thighs and core. He grabbed my thighs and I felt him push my legs apart slightly.

Gently placing them on either side of the bed I let out a soft sigh. I didn't need any more warning than that. I let him spread them as far as he wanted and sighed as he settled himself down in between them. His tongue traced the joint between my thigh and hip and I giggled softly. It was one of the few spots that I was ticklish. He had already known that. Eric smirked, flicking his tongue a few times, and I laughed again before he moved his tongue downwards.

Before actually placing his tongue against me I felt him take his fingers and spread my lips. I sighed softly as he moved his heads towards my core. He started all the way back and slowly made his way up towards my clit, licking directly around it, before going back down the other side. I sighed softly, wishing that he would go where I wanted him most. It didn't take him long to figure that out. His tongue finally landed right on the one spot that I wanted it more than anything else.

Using one finger to slowly rub circles around the center of my core, his tongue flicked over my clit gently making me groan in pleasure. It felt like it had been so long since I had experienced that. Even though he had only been doing the same thing just a few days ago. I supposed that it was because things felt a little different between us now because of what he'd said. This now seemed even more intimate. His teeth gently grazed over my clit and I let out a little gasp. In between the nips and licks he would gently graze his tongue over my entire length.

Each time he would do it my entire body would convulse. It took him a startlingly short amount of time to really get me going. He had no idea how much I wanted him. How much I needed him. One of his fingers slipped into me and I let out a loud gasp. I'd been thinking that he would just stick with his tongue. I was glad that I was wrong. He didn't take long before he pushed in another one. His tongue continued to trace over my clit slowly and gently as I moaned softly, letting it fill the room.

He continued to suck on it until it felt like I was about to fall apart. My body started to shake and I felt the knot in my stomach tighten to a point where I was sure that it was going to burst. It wasn't long after that that I felt it undo, Eric actually letting me find my release. My loud moans echoed over the stone wall and Eric kept a hand on my stomach to keep me from moving. It pressed into the bruise but I didn't care. I tried to wiggle freely but I couldn't. Eric's hand was too strong against me.

My body erupted into physical convulsions as I pushed my head back into the pillows. Once I finally completely let myself go I leaned back against the bed as a panting, sweating mess. Eric came up to lay over me as he pressed a heavy kiss on my lips. I could feel him pressing against my thigh. I moaned softly into his mouth as he popped open the clip on my bra. I wanted to lean over and go to bed but I knew that Eric wasn't done with me quite yet. Honestly, I was glad that he wasn't.

He tossed the bra off of the bed before grabbing me by the thighs. I laughed softly as he placed me over him. Our lips locked together and he grabbed me underneath the ass. I giggled into his mouth and tightened my thighs around him. He cocked an eyebrow as I twisted my body and pushed myself off of him. He laughed softly as I rolled us so that he was underneath me. He stared at me with dark eyes as I grabbed his pants and tugged them off, his underwear going with them. He sprung free and I smirked at him.

Part of me wanted to take him in my mouth but he didn't give me a chance. He threw me back over so that I was sitting on his lap. He lifted me up so that I was positioned over his lap and I immediately knew what he wanted. Without giving me a chance he dropped me onto him. A hiss escaped my lips as I was quickly forced to get used to him. For as many times as we had been together, it always took me a few seconds to get accustomed to him. I really was tiny compared to him. He stared deep into my eyes and our lips caught in a kiss as I began to move against him, our bare chests pressed together.

The bundle began to tighten in my core once more as Eric bounced me up and down on his lap. Our tongues mixed together and I bit down softly on his lip. It was the closest that we had ever really been together during sex. I liked it. His fingertips dug into my ass and I hissed at the feeling. One of them made their way up and over my shoulders to grab at my hair. He tugged the roots roughly and twined his fingers into the strands, keeping us together, and I groaned into his mouth as I bobbed up and down a few more times.

As I pushed up against my knees to bounce over him I threw my hair back off of my forehead, letting my hair rain down over my back and exposing my chest to him. Eric grunted as he pressed his hands against my chest, his fingers rubbing against my nipples. Eric moved his mouth into my neck and I sighed, rubbing our bodies together. Eric's hands moved down to his hips to push me up and down against himself. My hands went back to his shoulders and I was sure that my nails were digging somewhat painfully into his back.

Curses began to spill out from both mine and Eric's mouths after nearly twenty minutes. We were moaning together as our tongues mixed again. We were trying to wrestle for dominance without getting too heated. This was the first time that we had really almost been romantic. As we kissed I realized that he tasted like me. Eric threw me off of him and I groaned as he pinned me underneath him, thrusting into me a few more times. His name came from my mouth like a curse as he spilled himself into me. My head fell back and my back arched nearly painfully as stars burst behind my eyes.

My legs were erupting in spasms and I knew that I wouldn't be able to walk straight for hours. It was a good thing that we would be lying in bed all night. Eric pumped into me a few more times as I groaned in pleasure, riding out my last few waves. A minute later Eric pulled out and flopped onto the bed next to me. I let out a deep breath and rolled onto him. He grabbed me around the waist as he threw the sheets over us, shielding us from the chilly air of the room. He brushed some of my sweat soaked hair out of my face.

He pressed a lingering kiss against my mouth as my leg fell over his, grabbing it tightly and pulling it in between my own. "Say it again," I muttered softly, smiling up at him.

He grinned and pinned me down against the bed. "Go to bed, Amity," he said.

In all honesty I knew that he wouldn't tell me that he loved me again until he felt that he really needed to say it. And that was fine by me. At least I finally knew exactly how he felt about me. It didn't take me long to laugh as I realized that going to bed did not mean going to sleep. He didn't need to say it again anyways. Not right now, because I knew. As he moved himself back over me I knew it more than I ever had before. This wasn't normal and it wasn't nice, but it was my life. And I loved every second of it.

 **A/N:** And it's a happy ending! Thanks so much for reading the entire thing! **Let me know what you think.** At some point I'm definitely going to write a sequel, but I want to edit some of my older stories first. Feel free to read one of my other ones! As always, until next time -A

 **mmelody6: Here's hoping that you liked this one too!**

 **Debbydq: Glad you loved it! Me too! If Jai Courtney was my boyfriend I don't think I'd ever be able to leave lol.**


	14. Sequel Announcement

Exciting new, guys! Thanks so much for continuing to enjoy the story even after I've ended it. I have been reading all of the reviews and I've gotten an overwhelming response for people that have wanted a sequel. So I've officially decided that I will be making a sequel to Unfading! Here are a few announcements about it:

Nothing is set in stone. I haven't even started to write it yet.

I'm currently updating Unfading and rewriting it so that the syntax and grammar are cleaned up a bit from the original story. I've got about nine chapters to go, but it won't take me long.

As I haven't written anything yet, let me know what you'd like to see! I will take any and all suggestions into consideration. If you don't want to say it in the reviews, feel free to PM me with your suggestion. Like I said, let me know what you'd like to see as I continue the story.

Keep your eye out for an update on the sequel!

In the meantime, thanks so much for the continued support on this story. It means the world! Until next time -A


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